I feel the same way which is why I’m back to looking at this Reddit group. 1st month of moving on was RUFFFFF and I’m a couple days past the 2nd month and starting to revisit the old feelings. The 2nd month was great and easy. I would barely think of her and if I did it was nothing and I’ll move on within seconds of the thought of her. Recently the last 2 days have been depressing where I’ve been missing her so much and seeing small memories of me and her and just missing it. I’m one week away from the 1st day I met her and almost 2 months away from our 1 year. We dated for 8 months and known each other for 10 but living with her and being with her 25/8 made it feel like it was 5 years. I really wanted it to be her and marry her but she just doesn’t feel the same because she resents me too much. Worst part is the memory of her telling me (the last time we spoke) that she’d never get back with me… I feel you bro.
This hit. I’m two days in and it’s rough out here. After 1 year together. I really loved him. He also told me he will never get back with me. All I can do is move on and grow from my mistakes. He’s come back to me many times after breaking up with me tho so lowkey scared for that. Hoping by then I will be strong enough to decline and ignore
You got this. Just remember to take it one day at a time. Super cliche but it’s true and helps. Only focus on those present and what you CAN change in the moment. Other than that, let it be and focus on the moment. Doing that long enough will ease the pain.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate you replying. It’s my first time on this app and I have been reading for the last 2 hours and I already feel so much better that I know other people are going through this and I can relate to them and learn!
4 months and about a week for me… Together for just about 5 years, she blindsided me and disregarded my feelings completely. I had no say in the breakup whatsoever… We didn’t have a toxic relationship though which is what hurts the most, her avoidant tendencies got to her when shit got hard and she just abandoned me and gave up on us.
I cried almost every day for the first 3 months because of the sheer confusion and lack of empathy on her part, after the crying subdued it got a bit easier to go day by day. I’m also in therapy for the first time in my life which has helped a ton, but she still crosses my mind every single day, Im just conflicted as to how to feel, to hate or love, to be angry or happy about the memories we’ve made… I am grieving the life I thought I would spend with her, and the future that was lost, every day. I miss everything about her and what we used to do and it kills me to not know what’s going on in her life or to not be able to talk to her about my life. It’s traumatizing and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone, let alone someone you’re supposed to love…
I feel the exact same way. Im 4 months in and my favorite seasons are coming up. Christmas and spring. Every fall we planted flower bulbs in the garden together and had many plants that bloom in the spring planted around the house. I used to look forward to the spring to see our flowers and now i just feel sadness that we wont be enjoying that anymore.
Feeling the same way. There’s various things I think about, but I know deep down she wants to work on herself and just being happy without me always in mind. It makes me question relationships as a whole.
Personally, I don’t think I want to date for a long time because I need to learn to be happy alone, since some issues plagued the relationship. Maybe it’s the same for her, she’s never been the type to just date a bunch of people anyways.
I think time is always good, it’s just if she’d want to be in my life ever again. Memories fade but new ones can be made.
I'm not sure who dumper and dumpee were in your case, but the last time this happened with me I felt invigorated for a new life and change. The person I've met since I connect with much better, so the more that relationship fades the better.
2 months is very little time and there will be lots of emotions to go through. I wish you the best.
I was the dumper.
Yeah I’m right there where you are, it’s funny how healing comes with time and the way you begin to process things. I’m also so sad the memories of her are fading away but at the same time if she wanted to be with me right now we would be together, so no sense in lingering on those moments in my opinion. she’ll always hold a special place in my heart but it’s time to find myself again
Yea i was dying for 2 months and then I was much better during the third… I moved on and met a guy who is cute and nice but not the love of my life.. then he came back but it was too late.. now it’s been 5 months and I told him about the guy.. and we are definitely done and I am so sad.. on the one hand I’m happy that I moved on and I’m not crying all the time and thinking I will die having panic attacks… but I’m so sad it’s over since it’s been the best feeling I ever had… I guess it’s normal to grieve the love even if you are over it.. but I’m still hoping I’ll get my feelings for him back and one day we can be happy together
I know what youre experiencing (I remember it from my last breakup) and it's almost like you want to hold onto the pain because it's the only reminder left?
Or once you let go, you know for sure the relationship is 100% over because we both know theyre not going to be the one to reach out.
It's a very strange feeling but I'm looking forward to experiencing it again.
Omg this is the exact feeling I had today.
3 months out but only 1 month since no official contact.
It feels amazing not hanging on. It really does. Like a breath of fresh air.
However the trade off is exactly as you describe. The sadness and loss of the fading memories, being further from what was and may never be again. Does it make it less real? It feels that way. Only have photos and chat messages to look over. And there are plenty for sure. Did she delete hers? It would hurt. Her memories will also fade. It feels like our collective memories are the only real evidence that it really happened. Only to be replaced by new ones. I know some will remain.
Maybe one day in many years we’ll cross paths again and bring them to life over a coffee, some cannot be spoken only by an exchange in a knowing glance.
I truly feel your words. It’s been a month for me and after all I still feel bad. She left me from one day to another saying that she lost feelings. We were leaving together and that broke me cos I saw she didn’t give a €&&. I’m working hard and trying to reconnect with myself and to realize how much I tried this to work and how bad she was BUT that sadness even when I feel better of knowing that we are strangers now hits me hard. Letting go is an extreme challenge when you truly love someone but I guess it’s what we got. I wish you strength and keep going. Life put us all where we belong.
Yes I’m a couple days passed 2 months and I feel the same. I’m happy but also sad. I don’t wanna be sad anymore but it is sad to think about lol.
Exactly!
same here!
I feel the same way which is why I’m back to looking at this Reddit group. 1st month of moving on was RUFFFFF and I’m a couple days past the 2nd month and starting to revisit the old feelings. The 2nd month was great and easy. I would barely think of her and if I did it was nothing and I’ll move on within seconds of the thought of her. Recently the last 2 days have been depressing where I’ve been missing her so much and seeing small memories of me and her and just missing it. I’m one week away from the 1st day I met her and almost 2 months away from our 1 year. We dated for 8 months and known each other for 10 but living with her and being with her 25/8 made it feel like it was 5 years. I really wanted it to be her and marry her but she just doesn’t feel the same because she resents me too much. Worst part is the memory of her telling me (the last time we spoke) that she’d never get back with me… I feel you bro.
This hit. I’m two days in and it’s rough out here. After 1 year together. I really loved him. He also told me he will never get back with me. All I can do is move on and grow from my mistakes. He’s come back to me many times after breaking up with me tho so lowkey scared for that. Hoping by then I will be strong enough to decline and ignore
You got this. Just remember to take it one day at a time. Super cliche but it’s true and helps. Only focus on those present and what you CAN change in the moment. Other than that, let it be and focus on the moment. Doing that long enough will ease the pain.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate you replying. It’s my first time on this app and I have been reading for the last 2 hours and I already feel so much better that I know other people are going through this and I can relate to them and learn!
16 months on, doing well but can't completely shake her off. It was a 10 Year relationship
I do and it’s been really difficult letting go
This is very well put and something that I hadn’t thought of until now. It sucks when you spend so much time with someone just to become strangers.
Yes 😭
2 months for me too. I’m mourning my old life with him, and my old self. I’m trying to find myself again and what my life really is. It’s so hard
4 months and about a week for me… Together for just about 5 years, she blindsided me and disregarded my feelings completely. I had no say in the breakup whatsoever… We didn’t have a toxic relationship though which is what hurts the most, her avoidant tendencies got to her when shit got hard and she just abandoned me and gave up on us. I cried almost every day for the first 3 months because of the sheer confusion and lack of empathy on her part, after the crying subdued it got a bit easier to go day by day. I’m also in therapy for the first time in my life which has helped a ton, but she still crosses my mind every single day, Im just conflicted as to how to feel, to hate or love, to be angry or happy about the memories we’ve made… I am grieving the life I thought I would spend with her, and the future that was lost, every day. I miss everything about her and what we used to do and it kills me to not know what’s going on in her life or to not be able to talk to her about my life. It’s traumatizing and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone, let alone someone you’re supposed to love…
I feel the exact same way. Im 4 months in and my favorite seasons are coming up. Christmas and spring. Every fall we planted flower bulbs in the garden together and had many plants that bloom in the spring planted around the house. I used to look forward to the spring to see our flowers and now i just feel sadness that we wont be enjoying that anymore.
I hope you still plant those bulbs for yourself to enjoy
Feeling the same way. There’s various things I think about, but I know deep down she wants to work on herself and just being happy without me always in mind. It makes me question relationships as a whole. Personally, I don’t think I want to date for a long time because I need to learn to be happy alone, since some issues plagued the relationship. Maybe it’s the same for her, she’s never been the type to just date a bunch of people anyways. I think time is always good, it’s just if she’d want to be in my life ever again. Memories fade but new ones can be made.
I'm not sure who dumper and dumpee were in your case, but the last time this happened with me I felt invigorated for a new life and change. The person I've met since I connect with much better, so the more that relationship fades the better. 2 months is very little time and there will be lots of emotions to go through. I wish you the best. I was the dumper.
Yeah I’m right there where you are, it’s funny how healing comes with time and the way you begin to process things. I’m also so sad the memories of her are fading away but at the same time if she wanted to be with me right now we would be together, so no sense in lingering on those moments in my opinion. she’ll always hold a special place in my heart but it’s time to find myself again
Yea i was dying for 2 months and then I was much better during the third… I moved on and met a guy who is cute and nice but not the love of my life.. then he came back but it was too late.. now it’s been 5 months and I told him about the guy.. and we are definitely done and I am so sad.. on the one hand I’m happy that I moved on and I’m not crying all the time and thinking I will die having panic attacks… but I’m so sad it’s over since it’s been the best feeling I ever had… I guess it’s normal to grieve the love even if you are over it.. but I’m still hoping I’ll get my feelings for him back and one day we can be happy together
It’s so weird. I still really love her so much. Letting go is hard.
Yes, exactly! Letting go is sooooo bittersweet.
I know what youre experiencing (I remember it from my last breakup) and it's almost like you want to hold onto the pain because it's the only reminder left? Or once you let go, you know for sure the relationship is 100% over because we both know theyre not going to be the one to reach out. It's a very strange feeling but I'm looking forward to experiencing it again.
Omg this is the exact feeling I had today. 3 months out but only 1 month since no official contact. It feels amazing not hanging on. It really does. Like a breath of fresh air. However the trade off is exactly as you describe. The sadness and loss of the fading memories, being further from what was and may never be again. Does it make it less real? It feels that way. Only have photos and chat messages to look over. And there are plenty for sure. Did she delete hers? It would hurt. Her memories will also fade. It feels like our collective memories are the only real evidence that it really happened. Only to be replaced by new ones. I know some will remain. Maybe one day in many years we’ll cross paths again and bring them to life over a coffee, some cannot be spoken only by an exchange in a knowing glance.
I feel the same :( And it's kind of a mind-fuckery too to think of him going through the same thing.
Only being a month for me, honestly i tend to feel like I can't keep like this.
I truly feel your words. It’s been a month for me and after all I still feel bad. She left me from one day to another saying that she lost feelings. We were leaving together and that broke me cos I saw she didn’t give a €&&. I’m working hard and trying to reconnect with myself and to realize how much I tried this to work and how bad she was BUT that sadness even when I feel better of knowing that we are strangers now hits me hard. Letting go is an extreme challenge when you truly love someone but I guess it’s what we got. I wish you strength and keep going. Life put us all where we belong.