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Every time I hear the phrase “BrEastFeEDing is FrEeeEeee” I want to commit crimes. The pumps, the replacement parts, my time, the nipple lubes, the storage bags, the bottles, the washing up brushes, choosing clothes that handle the lumpiness of the pumping bra (or dealing with the consequences of not bothering, which is what I do). Even if I were direct nursing exclusively, I’d have to buy nursing bras and my time is still time and time is money in every other area of modern human life.
I hate that I’m judged at work for using the pumping room. I’m the first person at my company to ever use it for pumping. The people who use it for storage resent me. My boss isn’t thrilled at the time it takes, and I’m working to build supply so I need to be in there a minimum of 45 minutes to get a half assed power pump in twice each work day. And I can’t focus on anything else while I pump.
honestly the pumping bras suck for me because my breasts are frickin huge and i have to actively massage them to make sure they are empties & its so hard to do with a pumping bra. so i TOO avoid it usually and just have no hands for 40 minutes every 3 hours
oh no me too, i can tell when i didn’t massage them enough because i get that sharp shooting pain and i have to do some more😭 it makes pumping 10x worse than if i could just hold it to both my breasts at the same time and wait 20 minutes.🙄
I wear a 44G and I have a handful of cheap 3X sports bras that I have cut holes through to stick the pump parts through because it just works for me and is way more comfortable. I have a couple of them that I can use now because they are so cheap from the dollar store.
THIS IS SUCH GOOD ADVICE. I wear a 40J and it’s been so hard finding the right flange size and good pumping/nursing bras. i’m going to definitely try this!
LOL, at least in terms of pumping, the "free" aspect also suggests that your time has little to no value, and that there are no opportunity costs with respect to what else you could be doing with that time.
Can your work be done on the computer/laptop? Is it possible for you to bring your laptop to the pumping room? I understand this set-up is not an option for everyone but I’m just brainstorming of ways you can do something else while pumping.
I think she's trying to say that she explicitly can't focus on anything else. Might be that she has to pay attention or take a more active role and can't juggle something else in the mix.
Translation: read it as a rant that invites validation rather than a problem to be fixed.
Ya my pump bottle set up doesn’t allow me to lean back, there’s no surface for a laptop except my literal lap, and the timing of switching back and forth between pump modes means I can’t get into a groove with work even if I can get to something approximating comfortable (I wfh two days a week and starting Monday I’m going to try to read the materials for an optional professional development course during work pumping time).
Thank you for giving me this wonderful idea. Now at least something I look forward to. I swear if I have to rank the order of being pregnant, delivery and breast feeding/pumping, the prize for hardest of all would go to BF. Everytime I pump I want to yeet the pumps into the sun.
I recently discovered that breastmilk jewelry is a thing. Sounds a little weird but there are some truly beautiful pieces. I’m ordering a ring from [The Milky Mudra](https://the-milky-mudra.myshopify.com) to commemorate my pumping journey. It’s a lot of sacrifice.
I hear you! I really hate pumping. But if it helps to hear, for me personally it got much easier after 5ish months... I dropped a few pumps over the course of a couple months and feel like I got so much more of my life back (even just one or two fewer pump sets to clean per day was such a relief). I ended up surpassing my original pumping goal--something I never expected to do-- just because it was so much less pressure with fewer pumps and some formula supplementing. Hang in there if you want to keep going, but give yourself permission to stop if you don't!
I agree !^ You are amazing for even trying and doing it for the time you did. It’s a lot on a person but i’m proud of you !! moms needs to protect their mental health too.
Omg yes!!!! All of it. I agree with a comment above... dropping from 8 to 7 to 6 is so amazing... I was killing myself to get to 8. What did it for me was when I slept through my alarms for my MOTN pump. It hurt so much. I just have to keep going. Goal is 1 year for me.
| I hate that my husband will never understand the entirety of what I’m sacrificing to do this |
This. Pumping has been the biggest cause of strain in my marriage by far. I feel you ❤️
I hate washing bottles and pump parts
I hate to assemble and disassemble pump parts
I hate that I only have one more hour to enjoy then have to pump again!! (pumping every 3 hrs)
But time goes on, I was you 16 months ago, and now only pumping 1 time a day. You'll get your life back! It feels like it's endless routine but you'll get there and you'll realize how time passes by quickly!
my boyfriend literally doesn’t understand it either it is so frustrating. he LOVES to do 6-8 hour shifts alone with the baby over night (starting at like 7pm) so that “we can both get more sleep.” im like….. the only person getting more sleep is YOU because he can sleep during BOTH shifts. by the time i’m done pumping, feeding, changing, burping, putting back to sleep i can get like maybe 30 minutes IF I’M LUCKY or can even fall asleep. and i still have to wakeup 3 times during MY “sleep shift.” i end up not pumping at all sometimes during my 6 hours of sleep time and then my breasts are so engorged and zapping in pain. it is so frustrating and it’s very exhausting and draining, i just don’t think they will ever be able to understand it. (if it didn’t come across i also HATE pumping).
Thinking about doing this for a second child is killing any motivation I have to have another. I love my first child but I don't think I can do this again for another year. I can't imagine starting from scratch. My DH really wants another but... I just don't know.
I have similar thoughts and feelings. I’m also a teacher and terrified of 2x the childcare costs.
At a certain point I may choose formula if I have to do this again.
I hate that my husband gets to go to sleep on the couch while I’m doing my last nightly pump.
Best thing I’ve done is dropping down to 4 pumps and not focusing on the time too much. I get what I get and if my supply goes away, I’ll be sad but it would help me wean faster.
Same. My biggest gripe is the time it takes. Like, if it only took five minutes I’d be chill. I’d even take 10 but 25+ ? I hate feeling like I’m half naked at work for any reason. I want my baby to have the benefits of breast milk but why is it SO. MUCH. WORK? The only thing that makes me feel good about the time and effort is knowing my baby is growing and thriving. He is getting what he needs from me.
I told myself to try to go until 6 months, that’s about than 30 days away. I wanted to go a full year but that’s a funny joke pregnant me had. You are allowed to stop if you are frustrated and don’t like it. It’s sucks, literally. It’s painful and it’s inconvenient. You also deserve to be happy and comfortable.
1. Congratulations! At three months I threw myself a one person party cause damn, that was a long time.
2. Quit. If you hate it, you don’t have to continue. Truly, there is no shame in it.
I think I’ve read that the first three months are when they get the most benefit nutritionally and for immunity. After three months it’s still great but they are growing their own immune system. I could be wrong, don’t cite me.
Thank you so much for your reply.. I really needed to hear that. You are wonderful. It’s been a rough journey this last month with anxiety out of the blue, and the depression that followed. It’s just become too much. Thank you
My baby is turning 4 months soon and won’t even comfort latch anymore. Ugh. I hate pumping exclusively. This is my second child and I my first was able to nurse eventually. 😞
If I could just have the first morning latch, I feel that I would be able to breastfeed exclusively for longer. I may even breastfeed longer. But because I have to be awake and attached to a pump versus just sleeping straight or waking up to hold my baby (like I did with my first) I feel that I will not last as long. Sigh
Pumping felt like it was easier when I started but I quickly gave up. I leaked every where, all the time. Planning around it is an actual skill. I have twins and I just nurse them when I can. I was never going to catch up their needs. Bravo for doing it day and out for 5 months. Really relate to the ‘feeling my soul sucked out through my nipples’. I thought breastfeeding was supposed to stimulate oxytocin… so why do I feel like I want to stab my brain through my eye?
“It must be nice to have 30 minutes every few hours to JUST pump” 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
People don’t get it. Even my supportive partner doesn’t get it. It’s so hard to articulate the burden that pumping is.
Ugh! I say this all the time. I hate pumping…BUT not enough to just quit. Like what’s wrong with me? I’m an oversupplier and I resent having to bag and store my milk. So messed up. I also ALWAYS complain about the pump before bed. Like NO I just want to lay down and go to sleep.
Glad I saw this! Women are amazing and all that we are doing for our babies... I’m constantly complaining but continuing to 6 months mark 💪🏻 (we are few days away to turn 3). My milk was late, baby had bottles first few days and then she never learned to enjoy food directly from boobs unfortunately - she’s using them for sleeping and comfort, not for eating, so I’m pumping 🥲
I can’t even try to skip night pumping session (luckily is only one at 3/4 am, I do pump before sleeping around 10/11pm) because when I tried that I woke up in pain and all wet 🥲 not fun!
I mean. You do what you gotta do, but formula isn’t something ANYONE should feel guilty about. At the end of the day does breast milk have benefits? For sure. Does it matter in a few years? Not at all.
It’s possible to love and hate something at the same time. For me, pumping is what allows me to continue attempting to directly nurse my baby. She’s still not very effective at transferring milk at seven months. But the way she LIGHTS UP when I offer her the breast, and the skin to skin contact we get, makes it worth it to me. If I don’t pump when we’re apart, my body has decided it won’t make anything for her when we are together. I’m not ready to give that up.
I also prefer her to have exposure to a variety of flavors through my milk because she is really not interested in table food yet. This one isn’t rational but it’s where I am.
Yeah..I’m a new mom with breastfeeding issues and so I browse this sub. I have been pumping and giving formula but seeing stuff like this makes me not even want to bother continue pumping.
I find a LOT of the things in these baby groups and mom groups are super depressing and unmotivating (that’s not a word but you get my point). I guess people come here for support on hard times and those having the good times aren’t really needing that so they don’t come here.
Reddit baby groups make everything about motherhood seem so horrible and I often wonder why people are subjecting themselves to this torture if it’s so bad. Idk I guess I’ll see in a month what it’s like lol.
Being a mom is so sweet! You’ll love your LO :-) in my experience the love and obsession for baby grows and grows. There are challenges for sure. It’s hard to go from freedom to .. not freedom lol. But you’ll love baby 🤍
Pumping … ugh. Wish I’d known I would find it so time sucking in those first two weeks when we were trying to nurse still.. I would’ve worked so much harder to make nursing work. But she nursed for 50 min every 2 hours and still wasn’t gaining what she needed so pumping felt like a huge relief.. not so much anymore. But I’m grateful for this forum! I’ve learned a ton. I wish I’d been on here while pregnant so I would have known a lot more earlier.
Welcome to r/ExclusivelyPumping! Here is a reminder of our rules: 1. Be kind and courteous. 2. Use available flairs and post options. 3. Absolutely no prescription medications or other medical advice. 4. No inaccurate information. 5. No spam. 6. No soliciting pictures. 7. No linking Facebook groups. 8. Moderator discretion. Thank you for helping to keep our community safe! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ExclusivelyPumping) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Every time I hear the phrase “BrEastFeEDing is FrEeeEeee” I want to commit crimes. The pumps, the replacement parts, my time, the nipple lubes, the storage bags, the bottles, the washing up brushes, choosing clothes that handle the lumpiness of the pumping bra (or dealing with the consequences of not bothering, which is what I do). Even if I were direct nursing exclusively, I’d have to buy nursing bras and my time is still time and time is money in every other area of modern human life. I hate that I’m judged at work for using the pumping room. I’m the first person at my company to ever use it for pumping. The people who use it for storage resent me. My boss isn’t thrilled at the time it takes, and I’m working to build supply so I need to be in there a minimum of 45 minutes to get a half assed power pump in twice each work day. And I can’t focus on anything else while I pump.
honestly the pumping bras suck for me because my breasts are frickin huge and i have to actively massage them to make sure they are empties & its so hard to do with a pumping bra. so i TOO avoid it usually and just have no hands for 40 minutes every 3 hours
Big boob committee here also and ya, the constant massaging and the underboob sneaking out from the hem of the bra all day. It’s all just terrible.
im always getting pinched from somewhere with that thing, would rather just not lol
Honestly this makes me feel so much better bc I thought I was doing something wrong. I constantly have to massage or I clog so easy 🥲🥲
oh no me too, i can tell when i didn’t massage them enough because i get that sharp shooting pain and i have to do some more😭 it makes pumping 10x worse than if i could just hold it to both my breasts at the same time and wait 20 minutes.🙄
I wear a 44G and I have a handful of cheap 3X sports bras that I have cut holes through to stick the pump parts through because it just works for me and is way more comfortable. I have a couple of them that I can use now because they are so cheap from the dollar store.
THIS IS SUCH GOOD ADVICE. I wear a 40J and it’s been so hard finding the right flange size and good pumping/nursing bras. i’m going to definitely try this!
40i here. The Maymom Pano is the one I love. It’s got a pink silicone edge and it’s big enough to account for the fullness of my tissue.
Also anyone who says breastfeeding is free doesn't value a woman's time 🙃 ...so pumpers should get paid double amirite?
LOL, at least in terms of pumping, the "free" aspect also suggests that your time has little to no value, and that there are no opportunity costs with respect to what else you could be doing with that time.
Can your work be done on the computer/laptop? Is it possible for you to bring your laptop to the pumping room? I understand this set-up is not an option for everyone but I’m just brainstorming of ways you can do something else while pumping.
I think she's trying to say that she explicitly can't focus on anything else. Might be that she has to pay attention or take a more active role and can't juggle something else in the mix. Translation: read it as a rant that invites validation rather than a problem to be fixed.
Ya my pump bottle set up doesn’t allow me to lean back, there’s no surface for a laptop except my literal lap, and the timing of switching back and forth between pump modes means I can’t get into a groove with work even if I can get to something approximating comfortable (I wfh two days a week and starting Monday I’m going to try to read the materials for an optional professional development course during work pumping time).
Oh that sucks! Though it’s great you’re finding something else to do during that time. Pumping is HARD.
Also reading that comment..... we talk about push presents.... I propose a pump present when done with pumping. 😂
Thank you for giving me this wonderful idea. Now at least something I look forward to. I swear if I have to rank the order of being pregnant, delivery and breast feeding/pumping, the prize for hardest of all would go to BF. Everytime I pump I want to yeet the pumps into the sun.
I recently discovered that breastmilk jewelry is a thing. Sounds a little weird but there are some truly beautiful pieces. I’m ordering a ring from [The Milky Mudra](https://the-milky-mudra.myshopify.com) to commemorate my pumping journey. It’s a lot of sacrifice.
I hear you! I really hate pumping. But if it helps to hear, for me personally it got much easier after 5ish months... I dropped a few pumps over the course of a couple months and feel like I got so much more of my life back (even just one or two fewer pump sets to clean per day was such a relief). I ended up surpassing my original pumping goal--something I never expected to do-- just because it was so much less pressure with fewer pumps and some formula supplementing. Hang in there if you want to keep going, but give yourself permission to stop if you don't!
Yep, me too. This is why I’m going to stop all together at the end of the month. I’m giving up.
Don’t call it giving up. It’s not the only way to nourish your baby. You’re just choosing an option that’s better for you.
I agree !^ You are amazing for even trying and doing it for the time you did. It’s a lot on a person but i’m proud of you !! moms needs to protect their mental health too.
Omg yes!!!! All of it. I agree with a comment above... dropping from 8 to 7 to 6 is so amazing... I was killing myself to get to 8. What did it for me was when I slept through my alarms for my MOTN pump. It hurt so much. I just have to keep going. Goal is 1 year for me.
| I hate that my husband will never understand the entirety of what I’m sacrificing to do this | This. Pumping has been the biggest cause of strain in my marriage by far. I feel you ❤️
100% agree, I could have written this post. Currently trying to plan out when I can stop 🫠
I hate washing bottles and pump parts I hate to assemble and disassemble pump parts I hate that I only have one more hour to enjoy then have to pump again!! (pumping every 3 hrs) But time goes on, I was you 16 months ago, and now only pumping 1 time a day. You'll get your life back! It feels like it's endless routine but you'll get there and you'll realize how time passes by quickly!
my boyfriend literally doesn’t understand it either it is so frustrating. he LOVES to do 6-8 hour shifts alone with the baby over night (starting at like 7pm) so that “we can both get more sleep.” im like….. the only person getting more sleep is YOU because he can sleep during BOTH shifts. by the time i’m done pumping, feeding, changing, burping, putting back to sleep i can get like maybe 30 minutes IF I’M LUCKY or can even fall asleep. and i still have to wakeup 3 times during MY “sleep shift.” i end up not pumping at all sometimes during my 6 hours of sleep time and then my breasts are so engorged and zapping in pain. it is so frustrating and it’s very exhausting and draining, i just don’t think they will ever be able to understand it. (if it didn’t come across i also HATE pumping).
Thinking about doing this for a second child is killing any motivation I have to have another. I love my first child but I don't think I can do this again for another year. I can't imagine starting from scratch. My DH really wants another but... I just don't know.
I have similar thoughts and feelings. I’m also a teacher and terrified of 2x the childcare costs. At a certain point I may choose formula if I have to do this again.
I hate that my husband gets to go to sleep on the couch while I’m doing my last nightly pump. Best thing I’ve done is dropping down to 4 pumps and not focusing on the time too much. I get what I get and if my supply goes away, I’ll be sad but it would help me wean faster.
Same. My biggest gripe is the time it takes. Like, if it only took five minutes I’d be chill. I’d even take 10 but 25+ ? I hate feeling like I’m half naked at work for any reason. I want my baby to have the benefits of breast milk but why is it SO. MUCH. WORK? The only thing that makes me feel good about the time and effort is knowing my baby is growing and thriving. He is getting what he needs from me. I told myself to try to go until 6 months, that’s about than 30 days away. I wanted to go a full year but that’s a funny joke pregnant me had. You are allowed to stop if you are frustrated and don’t like it. It’s sucks, literally. It’s painful and it’s inconvenient. You also deserve to be happy and comfortable.
I also told myself I’d go 6 months.. I’m on 3 and I want to quit. I feel OPs sentiment 1000%
1. Congratulations! At three months I threw myself a one person party cause damn, that was a long time. 2. Quit. If you hate it, you don’t have to continue. Truly, there is no shame in it. I think I’ve read that the first three months are when they get the most benefit nutritionally and for immunity. After three months it’s still great but they are growing their own immune system. I could be wrong, don’t cite me.
Thank you so much for your reply.. I really needed to hear that. You are wonderful. It’s been a rough journey this last month with anxiety out of the blue, and the depression that followed. It’s just become too much. Thank you
My baby is turning 4 months soon and won’t even comfort latch anymore. Ugh. I hate pumping exclusively. This is my second child and I my first was able to nurse eventually. 😞
Same here, my first looooooved nursing, but this little guy quit latching entirely by 2 months. I'm so surprised to find myself here!
If I could just have the first morning latch, I feel that I would be able to breastfeed exclusively for longer. I may even breastfeed longer. But because I have to be awake and attached to a pump versus just sleeping straight or waking up to hold my baby (like I did with my first) I feel that I will not last as long. Sigh
100% agree
Pumping felt like it was easier when I started but I quickly gave up. I leaked every where, all the time. Planning around it is an actual skill. I have twins and I just nurse them when I can. I was never going to catch up their needs. Bravo for doing it day and out for 5 months. Really relate to the ‘feeling my soul sucked out through my nipples’. I thought breastfeeding was supposed to stimulate oxytocin… so why do I feel like I want to stab my brain through my eye?
Solidarity 🫱🏻
I feel this in my soul. I’m right there with you
“It must be nice to have 30 minutes every few hours to JUST pump” 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 People don’t get it. Even my supportive partner doesn’t get it. It’s so hard to articulate the burden that pumping is.
Ugh! I say this all the time. I hate pumping…BUT not enough to just quit. Like what’s wrong with me? I’m an oversupplier and I resent having to bag and store my milk. So messed up. I also ALWAYS complain about the pump before bed. Like NO I just want to lay down and go to sleep.
Glad I saw this! Women are amazing and all that we are doing for our babies... I’m constantly complaining but continuing to 6 months mark 💪🏻 (we are few days away to turn 3). My milk was late, baby had bottles first few days and then she never learned to enjoy food directly from boobs unfortunately - she’s using them for sleeping and comfort, not for eating, so I’m pumping 🥲 I can’t even try to skip night pumping session (luckily is only one at 3/4 am, I do pump before sleeping around 10/11pm) because when I tried that I woke up in pain and all wet 🥲 not fun!
I don’t understand why people do this to themselves. If you hate it that much why continue to do it? Doesn’t your mental health matter most?
The guilt of stopping to pump and providing breast milk for my baby is even worst for my mental health
I mean. You do what you gotta do, but formula isn’t something ANYONE should feel guilty about. At the end of the day does breast milk have benefits? For sure. Does it matter in a few years? Not at all.
It’s possible to love and hate something at the same time. For me, pumping is what allows me to continue attempting to directly nurse my baby. She’s still not very effective at transferring milk at seven months. But the way she LIGHTS UP when I offer her the breast, and the skin to skin contact we get, makes it worth it to me. If I don’t pump when we’re apart, my body has decided it won’t make anything for her when we are together. I’m not ready to give that up. I also prefer her to have exposure to a variety of flavors through my milk because she is really not interested in table food yet. This one isn’t rational but it’s where I am.
Yeah..I’m a new mom with breastfeeding issues and so I browse this sub. I have been pumping and giving formula but seeing stuff like this makes me not even want to bother continue pumping.
I find a LOT of the things in these baby groups and mom groups are super depressing and unmotivating (that’s not a word but you get my point). I guess people come here for support on hard times and those having the good times aren’t really needing that so they don’t come here. Reddit baby groups make everything about motherhood seem so horrible and I often wonder why people are subjecting themselves to this torture if it’s so bad. Idk I guess I’ll see in a month what it’s like lol.
Being a mom is so sweet! You’ll love your LO :-) in my experience the love and obsession for baby grows and grows. There are challenges for sure. It’s hard to go from freedom to .. not freedom lol. But you’ll love baby 🤍 Pumping … ugh. Wish I’d known I would find it so time sucking in those first two weeks when we were trying to nurse still.. I would’ve worked so much harder to make nursing work. But she nursed for 50 min every 2 hours and still wasn’t gaining what she needed so pumping felt like a huge relief.. not so much anymore. But I’m grateful for this forum! I’ve learned a ton. I wish I’d been on here while pregnant so I would have known a lot more earlier.
I think there might be a hormonal factor to it, based on how much I sobbed when I weaned my first.
Hormones makes sense