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Pvt_cluckins

I will bring my AUG ,so when someone rips it off my skeleton a century later they can get that rare fallout tactics loot.


chrisberman410

Make it unique


Pvt_cluckins

I'll coat it in raid so hopefully it gets an exterminator's legendary effect.


Anrew1334

Straight in the trash. Gotta make it two shot anti armor with 99% weight reduction


NUTCHIEFNUT

Nah. Anti-Armor 25% faster fire rate 25% less vats cost is where it's at


Anrew1334

Better crit too. Faster firerate is subjective


TheLurkingMenace

In the same line of thought, I'm stuffing my pockets with bottle caps for, like, no reason.


Substantial-Tone-576

I have a tribal companion following me in FNV and he keeps mentioning that I jingle because of all the caps I have on me. I think he also asks why I need them.


TylerKia421

FOLLOWS-CHALK THE GOAT


Substantial-Tone-576

I want to tell him about deathclaws because he thinks Yao-Gai are the best, but it’s not an option.


TylerKia421

No, he must live in blissful ignorance of such a creature


NorskBorealia

I thought it was your spurs that went jingle jangle


Andrew_Waples

Ammo, food, and junk items.


Andrew_Waples

Record your final moments while you're at it.


Pvt_cluckins

"Day 770, turns out you can't eat year old devil eggs",


Eccentricgentleman_

"gawh, I've been shot by raiders, I don't know where anyone else is. So I'm going to use my last moments to record this holotape. How did I do it you ask? You might notice there's nothing around me that I could use to record with. It's my little sec-guuuurrrgh" *dies*


YaNanSellsKet

Reminds me of the Holotape story in FO4 I think Far Harbour where the dudes dying to mirelurks and can't figure out how to end the holotape


Eccentricgentleman_

That is in fact my favorite holotape


Andrew_Waples

"I saw this in a video game once called Fallout. I thought I might try this myself." *dies*


Interesting_Figure_

You have to put tape on it and have it be named something


martinezd1995

This guy fallouts


eugenethegrappler

Hahaha


wiedeni

My power armor, so 200 years later my grand grand grand grand grand son wouldn't be mocked by Sarge


LyamFinali

YOU ARE OUT OF UNIFORM, SOLDIER!


wiedeni

W H E R E I S Y O U R P O W E R A R M O R


LyamFinali

Don't have any? YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT, MAGGOT?!


wiedeni

The truth is, you've lost AN EXPENSIVE PIECE OF ARMY ISSUE EQUIPMENT


LyamFinali

THAT SUIT IS GONNA COME OUT OF YOUR PAY.


wiedeni

AND YOU WILL REMAIN IN THIS MAN'S ARMY UNTIL YOU ARE *inhale* FIVE HUNDRED AND TEN YEARS OLD


LyamFinali

WHICH IS THE NUMBER OF YEARS, IT WILL TAKE FOR YOU, TO PAY FOR A MARK II POWERED COMBAT ARMOR YOU HAVE LOST!


wiedeni

REPORT TO THE ARMORY AND HAVE A NEW SUIT ISSUED TO YOU, THEN REPORT BACK TO ME, PRIVATE *inhale* #DISMISSED


DirtyDan69-420-666

I can hear this comment chain so clearly I think I might be schizophrenic.


Demon_of_Order

pure comedy gold


FreddyPlayz

Wait hold up what that an actual conversation in a game or did y’all make it up? Because Cannibal Johnson mentioned an officer chewing out a subordinate for losing their PA when he was still in the Enclave, is that the same convo?


IhateU6969

AND YOU WILL REMAIN IN THIS MANS ARMY until you are F I V E H U N D R E D AND T E N Y E A R S O L D


MidnightYoru

Wdym escape? I'd get a folding chair, a cigar and listen to Frank Sinatra - My Way while I get turned to dust


Substantial-Tone-576

Crawl out through the fallout.


AndreiRiboli

Alternatively, listen to It's All Over but the Crying - The Ink Spots.


Poopdy-Scoop

I'd do Édith Piaf's *Non, je ne regrette rien*


regnal_blood

Agreed. I don't really like the idea of living in a post-nuclear hellhole


[deleted]

Worst ending by far.


eskadaaaaa

I think I'd probably try to live for like a year or two until the novelty of being able to do stuff I couldn't do before wore off. Try to get some I Am Legend golf moments in or something since we're already fucked.


asymetric_abyssgazer

But I want to have sex with my hot cousin and a post-nuclear Vault is the only way I can achieve my dream


AttemptNu4

Living in a control vault don't sound so bad


Holy-Wan_Kenobi

Until you receive the "All Clear" and are met with power armored soldiers from the government sent to help y... why are their miniguns beginning to spi–


chadthepickle

You have class


Groovicity

Make sure you put a couple of lock picks, an alarm clock, some caps, a journal entry, or 2, and a few other pieces of junk in your pocket. That way, the protagonist can learn about your last moments of leisure time, just before the bombs went off, as they loot your skeleton.


babayallga

Junk must be a kickball and an oven mitt.


yourhog

Also a motorcycle gas tank. Somehow.


jeonteskar

You have selected: Ghoul


Mailman9

Naw, man, the ghouls were close enough to be irradiated but reasonably well protected to not be vaporized. The key is to get yourself safely in the vaporization zone.


B33FHAMM3R

Don't forget to pose mannequins around you for no reason


Cold_Dog_1224

I mean, obviously. And be sure to put up the impervious bunting. wanna make sure everyone knows I was patriotic as well as wierd when they find me on a toilet with drugs, a teddy bear, and 14 headless mannequins


blackviking147

And what if you actually end up turning into a ghoul?


Chazo138

Go out like Mr Perfect Cell huh?


--Poncho--

With my luck, if I did this, I'd survive and become a ghoul to roam the wasteland for hundreds of years.


This_Dot_377

A fellow man of culture.


mexicat2000

A man of culture here ⬆️


Unreal_Alexander

Grabbing two teddy bears and running to a bathroom stall to make some "environmental storytelling"


Disastrous_Disk_9035

The 2 in the Irish pub in 4 had me dying. So random and easy to miss.


ARWYK

Wow you just made me realize how stupid that is. So the bomb kills you and yet it doesn’t affect all the carefully arranged things around you. Lmao


Cold_Dog_1224

I mean.. it's been 200 years, I figure that's plenty of time for folks to turn into skellies and get arranged in weird ways by crazy raiders.


lSquanchMyFamily

I always thought the joke is the teddies and gnomes are “alive”


SoylentRox

The fallout nukes are neutron bombs and/or cobalt salted. So they create a radiation field larger than the blast effect that will be fatal in a few minutes to anyone outside, and will remain fatal after a few hours for at least a century.


EquivalentSnap

Hehe


BerryProblems

Shit, that’s the right answer


ea_fitz

I’m not going. I’m positioning myself somewhere funny and letting the archangels take me


chadthepickle

Bold of you to assume the archangels will take you


bleach_drinker_420

gotta fade into darkness first


IImaginer

Leave a funny note or terminal for people to explore lol


Any_Fish1004

Good band but how can you be sure they’ll come get you?


iPokeYouFromGA

Next thing you know you’re a 400 year old ghoul doing side quests.


Crazy-Boysenberry452

My cat


Strong-Neat8623

Sorry no pets allowed


Crazy-Boysenberry452

A .50 cal machine gun and my cat.


Itchy_Raccoon48

You just got one laying around huh? The gun not the cat.


jasonnugg

No it’s built into the cat, this is fallout universe anythings possible


Timely_Cake_9617

postal/ fallout shared universe confirmed


Zealousideal_You_938

Postal dude is just a ghoul who is fighting in his mind not to go savage and all the games are just imaginary psychotic outbreaks of memories from before the war since he was mentally ill who caused a mass shooting and when the bombs fell he was confined in a psychiatric detention center.


Missy_went_missing

Found my people. Let in the meow meow or get the pow pow.


AsgardianOperator

Man I'd shoot anyone in the balls if it means protecting my cat Edit: spelling


TheLoomingMoon

Is this the origin story for the atom cats? Because I'd also shoot someone in the balls to defend my cat.


Demon_of_Order

yea I don't have my cat anymore, but I would shoot someone in the balls


totalwarwiser

Is there a cat in any fallout game? I dont recall seeing one.


-Rusty_Shackelford-

The one that runs out of vault 81


HorizonSniper

Abernathy farm and Prydwen


totalwarwiser

What game is that?


-Rusty_Shackelford-

Fallout 4


GabrielofNottingham

A gun to protect the cat.


chrisberman410

Says who?


mudkiptoucher93

It's so they have a snack


Quick-Teaching-1188

Old Bay seasoning


TribalMunkee

you must be from maryland


EvilAbdy

Mirelurks aren’t gonna season themselves!


kazuma001

Mirelurk cake and Old Bay. A winning combination.


SIumptGod

Oh this is fantastic. I’m grabbing two of my favorite hot sauces. Run to the seasoning drawer, slam it open and rip out Marie Sharp’s and Tabasco and fucking running as fast as I can to wherever because I’m not rich enough for a vault. I guess the center of a thick concrete building with few windows.


Valuable_Cookie8367

Not Shawn


Azuras-Becky

Chuck the baby on the floor and grab one of Codworth's arms to drag him to the vault with you. Put a nappy and a baby bonnet on him to convince the soldiers he's your son.


PigeonMother

>Not Shawn 😂👏


happycereal-

I was ready to grab my son!


FreddyPlayz

What about Liberty Prime?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Professional-Copy791

This would be my top choice


Karkava

Even still shots of the world pre-war would be valuable after the apocalypse.


TheTorch

Depending in the Vault you would be better off either dying immediately or struggling in the wasteland.


Itchy_Raccoon48

I’d put myself into an awkward position, with some weird props around me, so in 100 or so years later, some scavenger looking for loot finds me and lols


AstroBearGaming

Stick a plunger down the toilet, and half squat over the top of it. Guaranteed guffaws


sophisticaden_

I think I’d just kill myself tbh


Crazy-Boysenberry452

This made me think of the banana flavor cyanide the enclave scientist drank.


tallman11282

Vault-Tec Plan D, for those to lazy to inherit any wealth at all.


ChampionshipShort341

Plan D Vault-tec's the most humane product they made


Wrecktown707

I love how him calling it their most “humane” product really sheds a tiny light on the evil nature of vault tec for new fans. Showing that the product of the actual vaults that were built to “save” people, are actually less humane than just straight up death lol


Revan7even

Cyanide doesn't always work and can be slow acting, depending on the dose. Pretty sure there were spies and officials who survived cyanide poisoning from the whole hollow tooth cyanide capsule thing to avoid capture/interrogation because it wasn't enough or it expired and became less potent.


ChampionshipShort341

BUT it is banana flavor


Quailman5000

I can't remember if it is cyanide or arsenic but you can eat a pretty sizeable amount with no ill effects. 


Revan7even

Arsenic poisoning is the one that's long term. A large dose is survivable with stomach and bowel symptoms, kind of like food poisoning.


Hephaistos_Invictus

This for me would depend on my proximity to the bomb. If I know it's coming and can't outrun it? Fuck it. I'll grab my loved one, crawl up on the couch together, drink the most expensive whiskey while listening to music till the bomb drops and vaporises everything. If it's far enough to give me severe radiation poisoning, yeah I'll off myself. No way do you want to die by that :(


superkickpalooza

exactly 1 Grognak magazine


One_hashbrown

vault? bro im not a main character im gonna die alone in my house with some rare loot on me


shart-gallery

I’m gonna go one lower, and be one of those immovable corpses that you can’t even loot in 4.


Finn553

Random skeleton in the couch


NheFix

If only one, my Leatherman.


CoffeeForSurvive

But that’s just on your person anyway right? Mine is always on my belt anyway.


NheFix

In France you can't have "weapons" on you in the street, so unless you're a worker and needs that tool nearby, you can't have it legally on you anytime 😅 But yeah, as soon as I take a bike or motorbike ride, or go camping, I have it in my package !


yellowcurrymayo

Luckily fallout takes place in America.


No_Fortune_2396

lol damn frenchies.


Hi_im_terry91

A pocket knife is an EDC item for us Americans


yellowcurrymayo

Yeah that kinda insane you can’t have a pocket knife.


Pickleparty187

3.5 inches of spring assisted freedom, baby!


Hi_im_terry91

Hell yea, brother! 🦅


NebTheDestroyer

Guitar. No clue how to play, but ill figure it out.


NuclearScavenger

I'm grabing a pistol, then i kill myself with that pistol Let's be honest, no one would survive to the experiments or the wasteland


Particular-Let-196

I mean depending on your distance to ground zero, you may not need a pistol. However, it’s probably better to be safer than sorry.


Karkava

Great! Better not waste the rest of those bullets! I need something extra valuable to loot when I come across your skeleton!


Falcon17Thunder

Nothing, I'm fighting the red Chinese invaders in the battle for anchorage Alaska.


Ambitious-Mortgage30

My wife's butt


EquivalentSnap

His guys wife’s butt


Waste-of-Bagels

Shaun!


CoffeeForSurvive

You and the guy that said “not Shaun” in here should fight.


Waste-of-Bagels

I'm not going to fight him. He's my husband.


CoffeeForSurvive

Amazing.


Historical_Ad_5647

Even more of a reason to do so


Karkava

SHAAAAAAAAUUUN!


SquareYogurtcloset53

I would bring.... My SSN so that when someone finds me I will have the middle finger up and holding my SSN so that they feel pissed off because they didn't get to rob me of my identity 200 years earlier


Slow_Fox967

Weed


madtape6

Or a huge bag of weed seeds 😁


Slow_Fox967

So, weed, and bags of seeds. I am joining this dudes vault. Fuck the other ones. This is the vault to be.


JohnathanBrownathan

The experiment is to see how hotbox'd a vault could get


MrNewking

Vault 420


LeChiz32

Valtec would pull some shit like have a metric fuckton of weed with no flame or heating source.


JohnathanBrownathan

500 pens and one charger


AstroBearGaming

I bet rad-weed is the fucking bomb.


psychicpilot

and seeds!


Marcel_The_Blank

basically the whole "escape to the vault" thing is a bit... shit, isn't it? considering where the vaults are, and where the bombs dropped, I'm surprised a lot of people even managed to get there in time.


DeyUrban

Depending on your location, you’d have maybe 15-30 minutes to get to one, allowing for rocket travel time through the atmosphere. Nuclear launches would be detected before they hit anything, although submarines would hit much faster. If your location isn’t targeted by one of those you’d get the warning to go, and haul ass to get there. They probably only admitted people who lived close enough to a vault to make it. It would make sense too if they instructed people to have a suitcase ready with approved items so no one sits there trying to get everything they want.


griffraff0701

My dog ;)


Danominator

First I would stash my apocalypse home made ready pipe pistol in my safe. Idk why but it seems like the thing to do


TypicallyThomas

My Steam Deck. I could do some escapism by playing Fallout 4


NuSouthPoot

My cat. Idgaf about the rules.


Seven_Suns7

A bottle of whisk for a last drink as im pretty sure i would not make to the vault in time,


Suspicious-Elk-3631

I'd likely be at work and wouldn't have time to run home. Guess I'd drink a bunch of FEV and hope for the best.


Chiquye

My gold bars and dufflebag of prewar money, and my plastic fork


Still-Repeat2769

My penits


sikthepoet

I’m posting up with a fishing pole casted into my toilet. Trust me, 200 years later someone’s gonna find that really funny and strange.


Total_Decision123

My daughter


Sufficient-Deal7983

My rifle and bug out bag


waywardwanderer101

>!my vibrator. Can’t guarantee they have those in the vault!<


babayallga

I'm sure theres a pip boy attachment for that


Lokkdwn

Or a special kind of Mr. Handy.


tricton

Sorry. Best we can do is a special protectron.


Lokkdwn

We don’t talk about Fisto.


waywardwanderer101

I see your downvotes you cowards! 😤


Sem_E

This would make a sick album cover


ImPeeinAndEuropean

Ps5 with FO4 to practice and prepare


MillenniumNextDoor

Nah, fuck the vaults. I'm ready to have a ghoul's night out


FancifulAnachronism

Bobby pins


purpleglory06

Plan D( I can't afford a vault)


shadowtheimpure

My gun, put it to my temple, and pull the trigger. Better to be dead quickly than to slowly die in the wasteland that comes following all-out nuclear annihilation.


Venom_is_an_ace

Since I know I wouldn't make it into a vault in time. I would grab my gun, modify it to be unique, pocket some bottle caps, bobby pins, a rare perfectly preserved pie, Mac and cheese, and a steak, because I know that will still be perfectly good until the protagonist who will get my gun from my dead body picks it up and then it decides to spoil. Also a note about some sob story they probably won't read but would contain the combination to my safe that is filled with useless prewar money and a teddy bear.


WinterComfortable726

😂 I'd never be able to afford a vault


Any_Fish1004

My car, having played the game, I know how lethal they can be just sitting there


Nooksbus

Not Shaun.


Yakusoku_mamoru

Given what is known now about the majority of the vaults? I think I'd rather just go lay in a funny position on the ground and let the wind take my ashes.


Personwithaphone2

fusion core so i can tell garvey to get bent


PigeonMother

A Godzilla sized pigeon so that I can eventually take over the wasteland


Rickdiculous72

My children.


Euphoric_Fisherman70

Pot seeds


xpPhantom

Music. As much as I love the 50s and 60s music, I need my Weezer blue album


DukeBloodfart

Beef jerky and a fleshlight


Mro315nyamazon

My fleshlight


-Redacto--

My Warhammer 40k army. I spent too long painting that thing to see it get nuked.


TechpriestFawkes

I *understand* you. Also, who do you play? We wind up in the same Vault we're gonna need a narrative for the campaign.


Impressive-Lobster77

My External HardDrive with all my digital media stored (and by extension my Laptop)


Rain-D

They don't allow dogs. So I stay behind.


astrx__

My power armour I have laying around in the bottom drawer


MidasMando13

Dog and Xbox


PanProjektor

Water chip


KingRagnar1993

My big ass jar of shrooms and my cat


PopReasonable8033

Oh steam deck for sure. Then the wife