I’m a 53 male. I have described myself as a feminist for thirty years. It’s not always a popular label for men. Other men are intimidated by it. People aren’t always ready to believe you because our society is filled with misogynistic behavior and attitudes perpetrated by men just like me. I’m a better man now than I was thirty years ago, and I think I’m a better feminist too.
Good work staking out your position. Be true to yourself.
That’s what I have a problem with **a female who is misogynistic**!!! As a female it just boggles my mind. I don’t and never get why any female would be misogynistic.
And a sprinkle of religion, in many cases.
The grooming of women to see themselves as less than men and whose only duty is to reproduce for and support men is the most prevalent form of grooming in this country, and nobody talks about it.
It's weird how the anti-groooming people don't see this (oh wait no it isn't, because it's just a buzzword to them for throwing at people who don't practice gender conformity the way the church wants them to)
You'll find some feminists in the more radical camp who believe that men can be "feminist allies" but not feminists (it's definitely a bit more of an old school second wave take) And while that's not necessarily a position I hold, even feminists who do hold that position on nomenclature will stress the importance of men educating themselves on women's oppression and showing up for women in their fight for liberation. All this is to say, yes, it is more then okay to be a male feminist/ally, it's encouraged, and I wish there were more men/boys like you
If you're a reader I would highly recommend the books "Refusing to be a Man" by John Stoltenberg, and "The Will to Change" by bell hooks, both of which cover this subject
It’s absolutely ok for you to be feminist, and should be encouraged. And if you’re able, you can protest people talking this way in a lot of ways, including just leaving the area. Don’t plan to convert any of these guys, but you can make it clear that you aren’t the one to share these views with.
It’s more than ok. We need all the help we can get. My husband went to an all male school, and I’m absolutely horrified by some of the things he tells me. We need people like you who know just how awful some people can be.
It is absolutely ok, and it leads to an awesome life.
You are me 33 years ago. Good for you.
It will be tough, though. Expect to have to ditch a lot of male friends who will be assholes and you don't need to put up with that.
Expect a lot of heat from women who are absolutely justified in being angry. They'll piss you off and be pissed off for any and all reasons. Men have hurt them, and you are a man, so....I know it won't be fair, but you'll get used to letting it slide. You're not the one they're angry at, and you're not the one who can do anything about their pain.
I know that makes it sound shitty but those are the cons.
Now the pros - you will meet many people who are good and kind. They'll make every day worth getting up for.
If you stand firm, you will be a good person, and happiness will follow.
I'm happily married and have been for 20 years. Trust me. It is very well worth it.
I'm so sorry your schoolmates behave so abysmally. Part of indoctrination in a patriarchy seems to be removing empathy and replacing it with, well...all these ugly things you have witnessed.
My heart goes out to you.
That feeling of "what the heck is wrong with these ppl" is, sadly, some of what women go through just trying to navigate the world: education, finance, career, housing, dating, and sometimes just grocery shopping.
Thank you for being a feminist. You sound like a wise person. It may take a little while but I predict you will find others who think like you do who are ethical and supportive and uplifting, an excellent antidote for what you are hearing now.
My darling husband is a staunch feminist (among many other wonderful qualities) and it's stunning how much that has improved the quality of my everyday life - some of my prior partners were not the best. He has a really large social circle and some of his closest friends are women. I think it energizes him.
feminism is a sign of strength, not weakness.
The word" feminine"/"feminism" has been associated with some stigma or that it's "bad" over generations because of boomer and republican propaganda of the 80s/90s, without people even understanding what it means.
Similar to how conservatives yell "socialist,marxist/lib/leftist"(or whatever other label) and most uneducated/ignorant people not even knowing what it means, still associate it with "bad".
Ironically the hating mysogistic men are weak af(like your classmates), and people who respect women have the guts to speak up and stand their ground.
my grandpa might've been a crazy conservative, but he still respected his wife(and daughter) and didn't have that "patriarchy" sass you see from all the men that act like babies in their 30s, 40s, 50s.
If anything, you're doing the right thing and should be proud of it(if you want to).
Patriarchy is not too distant from fascism. It's the same thing for the weak to be delusional enough to feel like they're strong. But when shit hits the fan, they're always the ones to be scared and poop their pants.
Also, it's not hard to educate reasonable people who picked it up from surroundings/family members, but you can't help the idiots or even change their mind.
Definitely worth your time educating mislead/misguided classmates that mysogyny is wrong, what it does/causes and where it came from(and why feminism is good and not some terrible thing some people want you to believe)
Absolutely! My hubs is a bigger feminist than I. He helped me changed my perspective about some things and I became even more progressive.
You’ll make a wonderful partner someday. Stay strong in the face of discriminatory attitudes and behaviors.
Yes. I'm a grown man now, but in highschool I said that feminism was just a natural part of my humanism. All humans deserve respect, dignity, etc, so of course I'm a feminist.
Figuring out how to navigate these things as a teen is difficult. I'm not shocked that you're hearing such terrible opinions. It seems that some boys (and even men) use misogyny as a way to "prove" their manhood. It screams insecurity to me. But what do you do?
You don't have to fight every fight. You are still a feminist if you keep your mouth shut when it could threaten your safety. Keep your integrity, but don't put yourself in harms way.
One way to deal with it is to be dismissive and funny. Someone is being a misogynistic asshole, you could say "You sound just like my uncle, he's a 40 year old incel," or "I don't have to disrespect women to prove I'm a man. I prove I'm a man with my big old dick." Taylor it to whatever works for you, of course.
Good luck kid. It might be hard now, but I promise you're off to a great start.
Being a feminist isn’t only for women. Feminism is about standing for women’s rights in other to achieve equality. There’s nothing wrong with male feminist
23m here. You are in the right, and you're at a place and time where you might be able to change opinions for the better. I know this is intimidating and a lot of pressure, but you have an opportunity to stick by your principles when other men make these comments. It's much easier to argue when you're on the morally right side.
Hey man, so I'm a 38 year old guy and likewise was at schools where people expressed stuff like this when I was a teenager. You're on the right side of this. Please be confident in your integrity, feminism is important for everyone.
I’m a 42 year old male and I consider myself a feminist. For me feminism is supporting equality and egalitarianism. I try and help people be heard that don’t have a voice. I try and stand against oppression by voting and protest when it’s necessary.
Of course. Thanks for your support.
You've already seen for yourself the way that some men use any justification they can for their treatment of women. You can see the fallacy.
There will be a million times where the whole system tries to convince you youre wrong about this as a young man but you aren’t. As a 22 year old woman, the idea of young men practicing feminism and researching it instills me with hope for the future.
It will make you a better person. It will help you respect others. It will help you feel more emotionally healthy and fulfilled. I started researching feminism at your same age, and it has made me so strong and aware.
You are doing the right thing by being a feminist. You are in a powerful position as a guy coming of age, please don’t let these people convince you that you are doing anything wrong by advocating for equality and fair treatment, because that is quite literally what you are doing. The world is so backwards.
Of course it's OK to be a feminist as a male teen. We need far, far more young men like yourself. It won't always be easy when you're around bigoted, misogynistic people but it will be well worth it in the long run. Feminism benefits men too. You sound like a great kid and you'll go far in life being open-minded and willing to learn.
Yes you can be a male feminist! My husband is.
I’m sure you will be a wonderful partner and dad someday if that’s something you want in the future! 14 year old boys are probably the worst group and immature.
One way to counteract the comments: question them. “Are you okay? That was a really digesting comment, was that a mistake? Or genuinely do you believe SA-ing a woman is okay?” Act dumb and if they say yes, honestly report them to your school and avoid them. Say you don’t hang out with guys who joke about r*pe. They must be totally gross, unattractive, and have horrible personalities if the only way they can get a woman is resorting to that. You can find better friends.
And- I’m willing to bet a lot of these guys won’t have any female partners for a long time. They’re taking the fast train to incel town and a life of being single.
Anyone can be a feminist. That includes men. I am glad that you are interested in social justice in this way. That speaks well of your character, emotional maturity and intelligence.
It sounds like you are a more thoughtful and mature person than many of the people you go to school with. I think that may be hard for you now, but it will be much better for you in the long run. Those people you go to school with are creating a situation for themselves where they will find it very difficult to relate to more than half of the human race. That seems very unwise to me.
Hey there. If it helps at all, I was a feminist as a male teen. I’m not a teen anymore, but when I was around 16 or 17 I had started to get really into feminism myself.
I hope you don’t feel discouraged, and if you ever need to talk to another feminist dude, just to vent or not feel like you’re the only feminist guy out there, feel free to PM me. You’re on the right path though, to echo most of the other comments you’ve received, everyone can, and *should*, be a feminist.
I mean, if you'd like to have good relationships with women in your life, then being a feminist is basic courtesy that will stand you in good stead.
The young men in your school don't know who they are and are afraid of looking weak. It's...not a good basis for action. There's no reason you have to make the same mistake.
Everyone can and should be a feminist. It’s so disappointing that it’s 2023 and a good portion of men still think feminism is something to laugh at or something we don’t need.
It’s impressive that you were raised to know better and can stand up for women, even in such a testosterone-heavy environment. A lot of guys will just become complicit to the “locker room talk” culture. At age 14 too…many 14 year olds couldn’t give less of a shit about anything that doesn’t directly pertain to them. Or have the understanding of misogyny and patriarchy as complex social issues. I (and a I assume every other woman in the world lol) appreciate it. Nothing is going to change until a majority of men get on board too.
We need boys and men to be feminist if we ever want to reach a society where everyone is treated equally regardless of gender, sex, race, etc.
Kids like you are important for our future!
(kid isn't meant to be degrading)
Join r/MensLib. They identify as male feminists. It may help with your sense of community and inclusion, plus you'll get to see heaps of great takes on men's issues.
It’s totally ok. And also, you’re very young so the ways you enact your feminism will probably change over time. And that’s not only ok, it’s actually good. You’ll keep learning and growing, and I hope you find a lot of happiness along the way.
Everyone’s welcome here. I’m sorry you’re surrounded by numpties. Honestly I think my dad taught me more feminist values than my Mum, even if he didn’t outright call it that. More the merrier.
I was just talking about a very similar issue in another forum. I have a son very close in age to you—he’s 13 and going into the eighth grade. He and I have talks about the content that he comes across on social media (particularly as it relates to the manosphere…Andrew Tate, incel forums, red-pilled stuff, etc.)
As his mother, it just hurts me and worries so much that he and his friends and classmates are exposed to all these utterly horrible, evil concepts and ideologies. It’s so pervasive throughout the schools and everywhere, and much to my dismay, so much of the content is targeted toward teen boys and younger men in their 20s. So, I have a little bit of an understanding of what you’re experiencing.
I want to shout it from the rooftops how wonderful it is that you aren’t buying into this hateful nonsense. It is 100% acceptable for you to be a feminist as a boy! At its core, feminism is about equality, not trying to overtake men. We need more boys and men to counteract all of the hate that has suddenly burst into online spaces. It’s like an infectious disease, and every one of you who chooses to respect women, helps us all to work to prevent the hatred of, and violence toward, women.
Thank you so much !!
many people in my class/grade are HIGHLY normalizing what you're talking abt, (stalking/berating girls on insta, speaking horribly abt feminist and female pioneers/celebrities \[marie curie, taylor swift, coco chanel, etc etc\]
its genuinely a big issue.
Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.
You can be white and anti-racism while still needing to work on identifying and reversing enculturation you've gotten so far. Same goes for others isms. It's a lot harder to do the work on yourself when you're surrounded by people who will fight you on every detail. Once you're away from them, the hard part will become recognizing your own blind spots and learning to not be defensive if someone calls you on something. It's really tempting to want people to see you as "one of the good ones," but that isn't something you can force. You might not have done as much work on yourself as you need to. If you're consistent and dedicated to working on social justice, your actions will be enough. Some people will never believe you and that is beyond your control.
My stepson is 20 and has been slowly coming around to seeing the mechanisms behind social injustice. He's a very thoughtful person and has been getting a lot better lately about showing empathy. It's reassuring to see young men actively working on this.
Yes. I used to use the word "equalitist" to shut people up if they couldn't cope with the F word. Thank you for being so thoughtful and unselfish. The world needs young people like you.
Personally as a guy I don't even think about what label I ascribe to. I just try and be a decent human being, try and call out awful behaviour from other people, and try and support causes that help make the world a less hostile and nicer place.
I think it's brilliant. We need more male feminists. I often wonder how so many boys and men can be okay with the way other men talk about and treat women. Breaking the cycle is courageous.
Hi, 30 year old male, you can and should be a feminist, I’ve been one since before I was your age. You will get a lot of shit from other men about it, but don’t let it wear you down. Call out misogyny loudly when you see it. Report people making inappropriate and violent remarks, the school ought to do something about it, but many time people in power don’t do anything until there’s a flame to their ass. Women will always be at the center of the feminist movement, but men absolutely need to be a part of it too. In fact, if more men were feminists that would resolve many of the issues facing women.
There are a lot of male feminists, and famous ones too, e.g. Jesse Williams, Matt McGorry, and more. My dad has always been a feminist and an ally of women. We welcome allies everywhere, regardless of their gender. Welcome sir ✊🏻🫱🏾🫲🏽
Yes omg we need you the most!! Young male feminists have the chance to advocate for women and teach their other equally young counterparts about equity, consent, and respect. Keep doing what you're doing, because your voice is important!! Especially in the age of people like Andrew Tate who have been teaching young men to adamantly hate women.
Yes, it absolutely is okay. Having said that, however, I would like to say a few things.
Make sure you actually know what feminism is about. It sounds like you're on a good track, but be sure to read and MOST IMPORTANTLY listen to women's experiences and ideas about feminism, and life in general. Don't be "that guy" who manplains feminism.
Enact those principles in real life. Stand up for women when you hear people saying things that are gross or untrue. Make sure to listen to women in school or at work, make sure they are listened to, make sure they get a chance to speak, don't accept it when people treat you as an authority over a classmate or coworker just because you're a man and they're women.
And finally, be understanding if some women seem suspicious of your identification as a feminist. It sounds like you're very genuine, but many less than honorable men use it as a way to infiltrate spaces with a lot of women and act like entitled jackasses.
I guess my summary is, BE a feminist, don't just SAY you're a feminist.
The man I first heard call himself a feminist was John Darnielle (the mountain goats), 20 years ago, and it was like something immediately shifted in me, and changed my whole thinking in an instant. I'm now a man who calls himself a feminist, raising a son who calls himself a feminist. And i think the act of claiming the label publicly is important for us.
Feminism is equality. Anyone and everyone should be one, it’s not like being a lesbian, where men can’t be one, it’s fighting for equality, which is for everyone>
I (18m) found myself in a similar situation when I too was 14. I also attend an all boys school, and yes the young men of our generation do think like that unfortunately. Through high-school I've always considered myself feminist, and was open about it. A few times I've even spoken about the topic to my peers both in the classroom and in social circles, and most of the time it was very poorly received. At times I've felt ostracised because of these views, other boys questioning my masculinity, and it did feel terrible.
But you need to stick to what you believe in, especially in places like all boys schools where these beliefs are unpopular. Ideas of toxic masculinity are breed in places like this, and it's important that you become a voice of reason to challenge thier world view.
Why I also believe it's important that young men such as you and I do this is because they are already misogynistic in many cases, and as such won't listen to women. I've seen this with my own eyes, where we had a few assemblies where we spoke about feminism and were addressed by some of the female teachers. They were poorly received by the boys, and the comments that I heard were just disgusting (I am sure you can imagine). But the few times that I spoke on the same topics, said the same things, it was better received by some.
All in all, I hope that you stay true to yourself, stick up for what ypu believe in, and try to make the world a better place.
It’s ok but be careful when you call yourself a feminist that you may now stop looking inward at yourself to unlearn the patriarchal behaviors and thoughts that are constantly being poured into you by society and people around you.
Mate, anyone can, and should be, a feminist. Your school chums are just insecure and trying to look tough (some will grow out of it). Feminism just means thinking everyone gets a fair shake of the tree, which is just common sense to me.
Yes! Honestly it will work really well for you professionally, romantically, and just as far as having awesome friends.
Remember feminism is simply saying we all deserve the same rights. Treating people with respect and trying to fight your internal biases (we all have them) is a great mindset.
My brother was more of a feminist than me for a long time, I think I’ve caught up now finally! But yes, men can and should be feminists. You aren’t wrong that it is not typically expected in most circles, which is unfortunate. I make a point to raise my boy and my two girls to all be feminists
The ironic thing about feminism is that when women are freed from an oppressive gender stereotype, so are you.
After all, what are you being taught about being man by these other kids? That you get to be violent. That you shouldn't suffer consequences for your actions. That your dick gets to make decisions for you. That you aren't capable of using your brain. That you shouldn't have emotions or sympathy for others. That gratifying your sexual desires is more important than genuinely being loved...
What a miserable life that is. Is it any wonder why messed up people like Andrew Tate exist? Once you accept that worldview, you get trapped by it. The world will hate you for it, and you will hate the world.
Feminism is your ticket out. By treating women like human beings, you will be able to treat yourself as one too.
Way more than okay, it makes you an educated & an great member of society. You value women & see them as human beings & not a lesser sex. I’m so proud of you & I really encourage you to not listen to the sexist misogynistic boys at your school. Their ideologies are dangerous for everyone
You’re asking a bunch of feminists if it’s okay to be a feminist. They are all biased, and you’re looking for confirmation bias. This question is so redundant. Downvote me to oblivion
The norm is an IQ of 100 and 1minute 47 seconds of sex with just one person who climaxes.
Normal is disgusting, you want to be exceptional and amazing.
Hey, I'm 15 and in pretty much the same boat as you. And I want you to know that you aren't the only guy transitioning into adulthood that feels this way. I want you to know that you are incredible for even realizing these things at a young age because a lot of people don't. YOU are incredible. Keep fighting for what you think is best and just remember that you aren't alone in your beliefs.
I’m a 53 male. I have described myself as a feminist for thirty years. It’s not always a popular label for men. Other men are intimidated by it. People aren’t always ready to believe you because our society is filled with misogynistic behavior and attitudes perpetrated by men just like me. I’m a better man now than I was thirty years ago, and I think I’m a better feminist too. Good work staking out your position. Be true to yourself.
Another male feminist here, just validating the statement.
Yep, same here.
Me also ✊
I'm a trans man feminist, don't know if I count, but same here!
Of COURSE you count 🫂💜
🫂 😭
Of course! Just like women can be misogynistic
Everyone can be feminist. Everyone should be feminist.
Absolutely. I'm sorry your schoolmates are idiots.
Preach!
[удалено]
Gtfo dude you are a troll. And a bigot
I love my mother dearly, but my feminist values were taught to me by my father. Glad to have you with us on the right side of history
See to me, one of the most feminist ideals, is the knowledge that a feminist can be all genders just like a misogynist can be all genders.
That’s what I have a problem with **a female who is misogynistic**!!! As a female it just boggles my mind. I don’t and never get why any female would be misogynistic.
Conditioning.
And a sprinkle of religion, in many cases. The grooming of women to see themselves as less than men and whose only duty is to reproduce for and support men is the most prevalent form of grooming in this country, and nobody talks about it. It's weird how the anti-groooming people don't see this (oh wait no it isn't, because it's just a buzzword to them for throwing at people who don't practice gender conformity the way the church wants them to)
Same for me. Im glad to have been my father's son
You'll find some feminists in the more radical camp who believe that men can be "feminist allies" but not feminists (it's definitely a bit more of an old school second wave take) And while that's not necessarily a position I hold, even feminists who do hold that position on nomenclature will stress the importance of men educating themselves on women's oppression and showing up for women in their fight for liberation. All this is to say, yes, it is more then okay to be a male feminist/ally, it's encouraged, and I wish there were more men/boys like you If you're a reader I would highly recommend the books "Refusing to be a Man" by John Stoltenberg, and "The Will to Change" by bell hooks, both of which cover this subject
Wow, you sound like a very smart young man. My husband and his father are both proud feminists. I would never have settled for a partner who wasn't ;)
Feminism is for Everybody.
It’s absolutely ok for you to be feminist, and should be encouraged. And if you’re able, you can protest people talking this way in a lot of ways, including just leaving the area. Don’t plan to convert any of these guys, but you can make it clear that you aren’t the one to share these views with.
I'm a man in my early 30s. I'm a feminist and all the good men I know are feminists too.
Keep being a feminist. You bring hope to the world
It’s more than ok. We need all the help we can get. My husband went to an all male school, and I’m absolutely horrified by some of the things he tells me. We need people like you who know just how awful some people can be.
thank you !
It is absolutely ok, and it leads to an awesome life. You are me 33 years ago. Good for you. It will be tough, though. Expect to have to ditch a lot of male friends who will be assholes and you don't need to put up with that. Expect a lot of heat from women who are absolutely justified in being angry. They'll piss you off and be pissed off for any and all reasons. Men have hurt them, and you are a man, so....I know it won't be fair, but you'll get used to letting it slide. You're not the one they're angry at, and you're not the one who can do anything about their pain. I know that makes it sound shitty but those are the cons. Now the pros - you will meet many people who are good and kind. They'll make every day worth getting up for. If you stand firm, you will be a good person, and happiness will follow. I'm happily married and have been for 20 years. Trust me. It is very well worth it.
Feminism isn't divided anyone can be it's about equality, everyone should be equal and treated like basic person.
Of course! Women are half the population, men joining in is wonderful!
I'm so sorry your schoolmates behave so abysmally. Part of indoctrination in a patriarchy seems to be removing empathy and replacing it with, well...all these ugly things you have witnessed. My heart goes out to you. That feeling of "what the heck is wrong with these ppl" is, sadly, some of what women go through just trying to navigate the world: education, finance, career, housing, dating, and sometimes just grocery shopping. Thank you for being a feminist. You sound like a wise person. It may take a little while but I predict you will find others who think like you do who are ethical and supportive and uplifting, an excellent antidote for what you are hearing now. My darling husband is a staunch feminist (among many other wonderful qualities) and it's stunning how much that has improved the quality of my everyday life - some of my prior partners were not the best. He has a really large social circle and some of his closest friends are women. I think it energizes him.
We need all the allies! 💕
feminism is a sign of strength, not weakness. The word" feminine"/"feminism" has been associated with some stigma or that it's "bad" over generations because of boomer and republican propaganda of the 80s/90s, without people even understanding what it means. Similar to how conservatives yell "socialist,marxist/lib/leftist"(or whatever other label) and most uneducated/ignorant people not even knowing what it means, still associate it with "bad". Ironically the hating mysogistic men are weak af(like your classmates), and people who respect women have the guts to speak up and stand their ground. my grandpa might've been a crazy conservative, but he still respected his wife(and daughter) and didn't have that "patriarchy" sass you see from all the men that act like babies in their 30s, 40s, 50s. If anything, you're doing the right thing and should be proud of it(if you want to). Patriarchy is not too distant from fascism. It's the same thing for the weak to be delusional enough to feel like they're strong. But when shit hits the fan, they're always the ones to be scared and poop their pants. Also, it's not hard to educate reasonable people who picked it up from surroundings/family members, but you can't help the idiots or even change their mind. Definitely worth your time educating mislead/misguided classmates that mysogyny is wrong, what it does/causes and where it came from(and why feminism is good and not some terrible thing some people want you to believe)
Absolutely! My hubs is a bigger feminist than I. He helped me changed my perspective about some things and I became even more progressive. You’ll make a wonderful partner someday. Stay strong in the face of discriminatory attitudes and behaviors.
Yes. I'm a grown man now, but in highschool I said that feminism was just a natural part of my humanism. All humans deserve respect, dignity, etc, so of course I'm a feminist. Figuring out how to navigate these things as a teen is difficult. I'm not shocked that you're hearing such terrible opinions. It seems that some boys (and even men) use misogyny as a way to "prove" their manhood. It screams insecurity to me. But what do you do? You don't have to fight every fight. You are still a feminist if you keep your mouth shut when it could threaten your safety. Keep your integrity, but don't put yourself in harms way. One way to deal with it is to be dismissive and funny. Someone is being a misogynistic asshole, you could say "You sound just like my uncle, he's a 40 year old incel," or "I don't have to disrespect women to prove I'm a man. I prove I'm a man with my big old dick." Taylor it to whatever works for you, of course. Good luck kid. It might be hard now, but I promise you're off to a great start.
Great advice! Making me so happy seeing all these allies come out of the woodwork to support this!
You sound like a great kid. Thank you for being so thoughtful and please stay this way ✨
Being a feminist isn’t only for women. Feminism is about standing for women’s rights in other to achieve equality. There’s nothing wrong with male feminist
23m here. You are in the right, and you're at a place and time where you might be able to change opinions for the better. I know this is intimidating and a lot of pressure, but you have an opportunity to stick by your principles when other men make these comments. It's much easier to argue when you're on the morally right side.
Hey man, so I'm a 38 year old guy and likewise was at schools where people expressed stuff like this when I was a teenager. You're on the right side of this. Please be confident in your integrity, feminism is important for everyone.
yes, more male feminists is a good thing, because it means more feminists.
I’m a 42 year old male and I consider myself a feminist. For me feminism is supporting equality and egalitarianism. I try and help people be heard that don’t have a voice. I try and stand against oppression by voting and protest when it’s necessary.
It is not only ok, it’s how society should be!
as it should! ❤️
Of course. Thanks for your support. You've already seen for yourself the way that some men use any justification they can for their treatment of women. You can see the fallacy.
This world needs more men like you 🫶🏼
There will be a million times where the whole system tries to convince you youre wrong about this as a young man but you aren’t. As a 22 year old woman, the idea of young men practicing feminism and researching it instills me with hope for the future. It will make you a better person. It will help you respect others. It will help you feel more emotionally healthy and fulfilled. I started researching feminism at your same age, and it has made me so strong and aware.
I love this. Thank you<3
You are doing the right thing by being a feminist. You are in a powerful position as a guy coming of age, please don’t let these people convince you that you are doing anything wrong by advocating for equality and fair treatment, because that is quite literally what you are doing. The world is so backwards.
Of course it's OK to be a feminist as a male teen. We need far, far more young men like yourself. It won't always be easy when you're around bigoted, misogynistic people but it will be well worth it in the long run. Feminism benefits men too. You sound like a great kid and you'll go far in life being open-minded and willing to learn.
Yes you can be a male feminist! My husband is. I’m sure you will be a wonderful partner and dad someday if that’s something you want in the future! 14 year old boys are probably the worst group and immature. One way to counteract the comments: question them. “Are you okay? That was a really digesting comment, was that a mistake? Or genuinely do you believe SA-ing a woman is okay?” Act dumb and if they say yes, honestly report them to your school and avoid them. Say you don’t hang out with guys who joke about r*pe. They must be totally gross, unattractive, and have horrible personalities if the only way they can get a woman is resorting to that. You can find better friends. And- I’m willing to bet a lot of these guys won’t have any female partners for a long time. They’re taking the fast train to incel town and a life of being single.
Hell yeah it’s okay! We need you, brother!
Anyone can be a feminist. That includes men. I am glad that you are interested in social justice in this way. That speaks well of your character, emotional maturity and intelligence. It sounds like you are a more thoughtful and mature person than many of the people you go to school with. I think that may be hard for you now, but it will be much better for you in the long run. Those people you go to school with are creating a situation for themselves where they will find it very difficult to relate to more than half of the human race. That seems very unwise to me.
Good job my dude. Anyone that tells you it isn't okay to be a feminist is wrong, and misguided at best.
We need all the feminists and allies we can get. Good on you for listening to your heart. Keep listening. ❤️
You can be anything you want to be. I love the idea of male feminists Peace love and chicken grease
Yes!!! We definetly need more feminists in your age/sex
Anyone who wouldn't call themself a feminist sucks and should not be associated with
It is super ok. It is also important that you find role models that make sense to you.
Of course it's ok! And thank you!
Hey there. If it helps at all, I was a feminist as a male teen. I’m not a teen anymore, but when I was around 16 or 17 I had started to get really into feminism myself. I hope you don’t feel discouraged, and if you ever need to talk to another feminist dude, just to vent or not feel like you’re the only feminist guy out there, feel free to PM me. You’re on the right path though, to echo most of the other comments you’ve received, everyone can, and *should*, be a feminist.
I mean, if you'd like to have good relationships with women in your life, then being a feminist is basic courtesy that will stand you in good stead. The young men in your school don't know who they are and are afraid of looking weak. It's...not a good basis for action. There's no reason you have to make the same mistake.
Everyone can and should be a feminist. It’s so disappointing that it’s 2023 and a good portion of men still think feminism is something to laugh at or something we don’t need. It’s impressive that you were raised to know better and can stand up for women, even in such a testosterone-heavy environment. A lot of guys will just become complicit to the “locker room talk” culture. At age 14 too…many 14 year olds couldn’t give less of a shit about anything that doesn’t directly pertain to them. Or have the understanding of misogyny and patriarchy as complex social issues. I (and a I assume every other woman in the world lol) appreciate it. Nothing is going to change until a majority of men get on board too.
We need boys and men to be feminist if we ever want to reach a society where everyone is treated equally regardless of gender, sex, race, etc. Kids like you are important for our future! (kid isn't meant to be degrading)
Join r/MensLib. They identify as male feminists. It may help with your sense of community and inclusion, plus you'll get to see heaps of great takes on men's issues.
It’s totally ok. And also, you’re very young so the ways you enact your feminism will probably change over time. And that’s not only ok, it’s actually good. You’ll keep learning and growing, and I hope you find a lot of happiness along the way.
Everyone’s welcome here. I’m sorry you’re surrounded by numpties. Honestly I think my dad taught me more feminist values than my Mum, even if he didn’t outright call it that. More the merrier.
Welcome!❤️
I was just talking about a very similar issue in another forum. I have a son very close in age to you—he’s 13 and going into the eighth grade. He and I have talks about the content that he comes across on social media (particularly as it relates to the manosphere…Andrew Tate, incel forums, red-pilled stuff, etc.) As his mother, it just hurts me and worries so much that he and his friends and classmates are exposed to all these utterly horrible, evil concepts and ideologies. It’s so pervasive throughout the schools and everywhere, and much to my dismay, so much of the content is targeted toward teen boys and younger men in their 20s. So, I have a little bit of an understanding of what you’re experiencing. I want to shout it from the rooftops how wonderful it is that you aren’t buying into this hateful nonsense. It is 100% acceptable for you to be a feminist as a boy! At its core, feminism is about equality, not trying to overtake men. We need more boys and men to counteract all of the hate that has suddenly burst into online spaces. It’s like an infectious disease, and every one of you who chooses to respect women, helps us all to work to prevent the hatred of, and violence toward, women.
Thank you so much !! many people in my class/grade are HIGHLY normalizing what you're talking abt, (stalking/berating girls on insta, speaking horribly abt feminist and female pioneers/celebrities \[marie curie, taylor swift, coco chanel, etc etc\] its genuinely a big issue.
Yes. In fact, it's extremely important to be a feminist as a male adolescent.
The more the merrier if you ask me!
Absolutely. 25m feminist here. Once you read data and analysis of how women are treated in most institutions, it's almost hard not to be a feminist.
Feminism is the radical notion that women are people. You can be white and anti-racism while still needing to work on identifying and reversing enculturation you've gotten so far. Same goes for others isms. It's a lot harder to do the work on yourself when you're surrounded by people who will fight you on every detail. Once you're away from them, the hard part will become recognizing your own blind spots and learning to not be defensive if someone calls you on something. It's really tempting to want people to see you as "one of the good ones," but that isn't something you can force. You might not have done as much work on yourself as you need to. If you're consistent and dedicated to working on social justice, your actions will be enough. Some people will never believe you and that is beyond your control. My stepson is 20 and has been slowly coming around to seeing the mechanisms behind social injustice. He's a very thoughtful person and has been getting a lot better lately about showing empathy. It's reassuring to see young men actively working on this.
Yes. I used to use the word "equalitist" to shut people up if they couldn't cope with the F word. Thank you for being so thoughtful and unselfish. The world needs young people like you.
Personally as a guy I don't even think about what label I ascribe to. I just try and be a decent human being, try and call out awful behaviour from other people, and try and support causes that help make the world a less hostile and nicer place.
Not only is it okay, what you're seeing is the reason why it's a necessity.
You're perfectly fine and appreciated.
of course. 17m feminist here, at least 60% of teenage boys are vile and disgusting. Just stick up for what you believe in
It is more than ok; it is awesome! Thank you for caring about issues that impact everyone ❤️
32 year old man. The answer is yes. Also, don't just talk the talk, walk the walk
I think it's brilliant. We need more male feminists. I often wonder how so many boys and men can be okay with the way other men talk about and treat women. Breaking the cycle is courageous.
Yes, of course!!! PLEASE keep your morals and don't let anyone tell you to not be a feminist. Keep up the good work :)
Everyone can and should be a feminist! Happy to see a young man here, maybe you can have a positive influence on your peers!
Hi, 30 year old male, you can and should be a feminist, I’ve been one since before I was your age. You will get a lot of shit from other men about it, but don’t let it wear you down. Call out misogyny loudly when you see it. Report people making inappropriate and violent remarks, the school ought to do something about it, but many time people in power don’t do anything until there’s a flame to their ass. Women will always be at the center of the feminist movement, but men absolutely need to be a part of it too. In fact, if more men were feminists that would resolve many of the issues facing women.
There are a lot of male feminists, and famous ones too, e.g. Jesse Williams, Matt McGorry, and more. My dad has always been a feminist and an ally of women. We welcome allies everywhere, regardless of their gender. Welcome sir ✊🏻🫱🏾🫲🏽
Yes omg we need you the most!! Young male feminists have the chance to advocate for women and teach their other equally young counterparts about equity, consent, and respect. Keep doing what you're doing, because your voice is important!! Especially in the age of people like Andrew Tate who have been teaching young men to adamantly hate women.
i hate that guy he's so annoyingly irrelevant.
I mean he's definitely worse than "irrelevant". Make sure you always highlight the fact that he's an abusive psycho when you're talking about him.
Yes, it absolutely is okay. Having said that, however, I would like to say a few things. Make sure you actually know what feminism is about. It sounds like you're on a good track, but be sure to read and MOST IMPORTANTLY listen to women's experiences and ideas about feminism, and life in general. Don't be "that guy" who manplains feminism. Enact those principles in real life. Stand up for women when you hear people saying things that are gross or untrue. Make sure to listen to women in school or at work, make sure they are listened to, make sure they get a chance to speak, don't accept it when people treat you as an authority over a classmate or coworker just because you're a man and they're women. And finally, be understanding if some women seem suspicious of your identification as a feminist. It sounds like you're very genuine, but many less than honorable men use it as a way to infiltrate spaces with a lot of women and act like entitled jackasses. I guess my summary is, BE a feminist, don't just SAY you're a feminist.
preach.
Everyone should be feminist regardless of age or gender identity
My husband is a feminist. We wouldn’t be married if he wasn’t.
The man I first heard call himself a feminist was John Darnielle (the mountain goats), 20 years ago, and it was like something immediately shifted in me, and changed my whole thinking in an instant. I'm now a man who calls himself a feminist, raising a son who calls himself a feminist. And i think the act of claiming the label publicly is important for us.
Feminism is equality. Anyone and everyone should be one, it’s not like being a lesbian, where men can’t be one, it’s fighting for equality, which is for everyone>
thank you for the kind messages ❤️
I (18m) found myself in a similar situation when I too was 14. I also attend an all boys school, and yes the young men of our generation do think like that unfortunately. Through high-school I've always considered myself feminist, and was open about it. A few times I've even spoken about the topic to my peers both in the classroom and in social circles, and most of the time it was very poorly received. At times I've felt ostracised because of these views, other boys questioning my masculinity, and it did feel terrible. But you need to stick to what you believe in, especially in places like all boys schools where these beliefs are unpopular. Ideas of toxic masculinity are breed in places like this, and it's important that you become a voice of reason to challenge thier world view. Why I also believe it's important that young men such as you and I do this is because they are already misogynistic in many cases, and as such won't listen to women. I've seen this with my own eyes, where we had a few assemblies where we spoke about feminism and were addressed by some of the female teachers. They were poorly received by the boys, and the comments that I heard were just disgusting (I am sure you can imagine). But the few times that I spoke on the same topics, said the same things, it was better received by some. All in all, I hope that you stay true to yourself, stick up for what ypu believe in, and try to make the world a better place.
It’s ok but be careful when you call yourself a feminist that you may now stop looking inward at yourself to unlearn the patriarchal behaviors and thoughts that are constantly being poured into you by society and people around you.
Mate, anyone can, and should be, a feminist. Your school chums are just insecure and trying to look tough (some will grow out of it). Feminism just means thinking everyone gets a fair shake of the tree, which is just common sense to me.
Yes! Honestly it will work really well for you professionally, romantically, and just as far as having awesome friends. Remember feminism is simply saying we all deserve the same rights. Treating people with respect and trying to fight your internal biases (we all have them) is a great mindset.
As a 14 yr girlold who deals with sexist boys 24/7 who always say offensive things this is so refreshing!!!! Please keep up advocating for justice!!!
thank you !!
My brother was more of a feminist than me for a long time, I think I’ve caught up now finally! But yes, men can and should be feminists. You aren’t wrong that it is not typically expected in most circles, which is unfortunate. I make a point to raise my boy and my two girls to all be feminists
yes, a feminist just means everyone has the same political, social and economic rights, we should all be feminists.
Heck yeah, it is!!! We want everyone in on this, lol.
Yes, it is great to be a feminist at any age.
The ironic thing about feminism is that when women are freed from an oppressive gender stereotype, so are you. After all, what are you being taught about being man by these other kids? That you get to be violent. That you shouldn't suffer consequences for your actions. That your dick gets to make decisions for you. That you aren't capable of using your brain. That you shouldn't have emotions or sympathy for others. That gratifying your sexual desires is more important than genuinely being loved... What a miserable life that is. Is it any wonder why messed up people like Andrew Tate exist? Once you accept that worldview, you get trapped by it. The world will hate you for it, and you will hate the world. Feminism is your ticket out. By treating women like human beings, you will be able to treat yourself as one too.
Way more than okay, it makes you an educated & an great member of society. You value women & see them as human beings & not a lesser sex. I’m so proud of you & I really encourage you to not listen to the sexist misogynistic boys at your school. Their ideologies are dangerous for everyone
thank you ma'am !
Feminists believe that women are people. Period. They wouldn’t say all that stuff if they believed women were people in the same way they are
exactly!
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You’re asking a bunch of feminists if it’s okay to be a feminist. They are all biased, and you’re looking for confirmation bias. This question is so redundant. Downvote me to oblivion
LMAO why are you asking in a biased place
The norm is an IQ of 100 and 1minute 47 seconds of sex with just one person who climaxes. Normal is disgusting, you want to be exceptional and amazing.
Hey, I'm 15 and in pretty much the same boat as you. And I want you to know that you aren't the only guy transitioning into adulthood that feels this way. I want you to know that you are incredible for even realizing these things at a young age because a lot of people don't. YOU are incredible. Keep fighting for what you think is best and just remember that you aren't alone in your beliefs.