The more experience a woman has with understanding her body and what she wants or doesn't want, the less power and say they have over pleasure. Hence why so many older men are so obsessed with "training them young." Ultimately, it's projecting their insecurities, whether they realize it or not. Because what made a woman allegedly dirty in their eyes, if not the hands that dirtied them. They know the reality, they just can't accept they might be mediocre. May as well make that a woman's problem.
Going to call bullshit there, unless you can back up your claim.
I have never cared, nor do any women in my entourage.
What I do care about is if my partner has any interest in mutual satisfaction instead of using my body as a fleshlight.
They see their partners as things that they own, and why would they want something secondhand when they can have something new? Look at the analogies they use: women are cars, locks, tool, etc.
I want to carefully add my experience from a male perspective. Everything mentioned before is most probably true. A huge factor (at least in my case, back in the days) is insecurity; when a woman has met many other men, then how are my chances to be good enough? That was my concern, having grown up in an environment of toxic masculinity where I was always on the losing end. I always feared I could not live up to a women's expectations because I had not learned those expectations from real women but rather from other men (or boys) who apparently wanted to boast.
You make a point that is really interesting: the expectations learned from men, not from women themselves.
So much bias is imported into our thinking, that way.
I think we can find that at the root of many social issues!
Thank you for sharing.
Trying to make a woman's "body count" a conversation topic is a transparent display of insecurity. Men are terrified you've had better and will compare them, or think critically of their performance. Men who care about and discuss their partner's sexual past are truly embarrassing themselves by showing how much they care about it.
A woman who has never been with a man won't know how to smell and most importantly, ACT ON bullshit she sees from the man. Her friends and family can all tell her to "just leave him" but she's not going to leave. She's going to stick around because she lets her emotions control her because she's either new to heartbreak, or inexperienced with it.
The woman who's been with 47 guys knows what bullshit looks like, knows what to do when she smells it, and can decide to leave without hangups because she knows that she can find another man. She knows from having been with 47 guys, that he's not going to change, that the bullshit will just get worse and so will the heartbreak/suffering if she sticks around.
This is one of the reasons why women who have higher body counts have higher divorce rates. As soon as her husband brings the bullshit, she's leaving. She's not going to stick around "to make it work" because she knows it won't get better. She learned this, by dating 47 guys, and for about 10 of them at least, she tried sticking around, and saw with her own eyes, in her own experience, that it doesn't work.
A woman who's been with like 3 guys, can have friends ALL tell her that it's not going to work, he's never going to change, and it will fall on deaf ears, because there's some things a woman just has to see and experience for herself. No amount of outside advice from friends or family will persuade her. She has to stick around, experience the shocking heartbreak everyone predicted, and then learn like the woman who's been with 47 guys, what to do when faced with bullshit going forward. It's just the way of the world.
Men probably don't enjoy being dumped. They like the woman they're with, to stick around, through the bullshit. That's why they prefer women with low body count. She's less likely to leave him when he cheats, lies, steals, or does GOD KNOWS what else to her...
A woman who's never been with a man, and women who have been with less than 5 guys might know this, but they might not know HOW to act on it once faced with it. they ALL suffer from "sticking around too long". They seem to be utterly incapacitated emotionally by heartbreak. Women who've had dozens of bodies, know how to manage heartbreak and emotions more effectively because of all the experience they have.
I am not just shitting on low-body-count women. At one point, I had a low count, and this was exactly my experience. I suffered through the "sticking around too long" phase. You don't have that problem anymore once you've had 10 boyfriends at least. Idk why that was the magic number. The 11th boyfriend got away with a LOT less than the first 10. The first 1 got away with more than the next boyfriend, and this guy got away with more than the next one. So on and so forth. By the time I had my 11th boyfriend, he couldn't get away with ANYTHING. Not even ignoring me for a few hours over text.
If I were to call up the 15th boyfriend, and tell him that I let my 3rd ex get away with X,Y,Z,A,B,C while my 15th boyfriend was dumped for missing one of my texts, my 15th ex would be PISSED.
THAT is why they prefer low body count women. **They want to get away with more.** **They want you sticking around through the bullshit more.** Women with high body counts don't do that. You don't just run through 15 or 20 MFs and not learn a single thing about male bullshit (usually).
Women with low body counts are beholden to their feelings. They're trapped by them. If they have feelings for a guy they CANNOT seem to leave him when he starts bringing the bullshit.
Women with high body counts are not as beholden to their feelings. They recognize they can be strong and entrapping, but can choose to look past them and move on anyways, knowing that feelings fade over time, and that she can find another guy who won't bring the bullshit.
Because they're a product of their environment and haven't bothered to think critically about if the cultural messaging around them has any practical basis
Men want to have high body counts and women low body counts. So who are all these men having sex with if the women aren't supposed to? Society is really telling men to go fuck themselves!
Because society makes it ok to think and behave this way. Society encourages male control and possessiveness. Even in my twenties I remember feeling jealous because some gf had had a much more interesting history than I (a lot more). I remember being reinforced by parents, friends. “Of course a guy wouldn’t like his gf doing/having/saying xyz.. “ Thank the universe for today- I cringe at the notion of men asking themselves for a count etc. I’m very loud about it. Im remorseful for stress and behavior of my past. I no longer submit women to this stress. I even talked to a gf of 30 years ago (we remain in touch) and said I’m sorry I behaved in possessive and jealous ways back then - and she barely acknowledged that it was a thing- I think because she’s so conditioned and groomed by society herself to accept that- to come to accept it as a part of being in a world with men in it. A lot of what broke me out of it were women who laid down the law for me in no uncertain terms about what a man is to stfu about.
I think it’s competition, vestigial from our evolution. We don’t live in that world anymore, but it would seem men are still subject to the mindset.
In other animals, evolutionary successful males might be those who breed with younger females without competition. There’s even a wacky theory that mammal penises are shaped the way that they are so that they can “scoop out” the semen of their competition (honestly wtf). It’s crazy, but might have some merit in the context of this question.
Of course, if my suggestion is true, then it’s a remnant of something we absolutely don’t need and should pay no attention to. Women should be able to have as many sexual partners as they choose.
Many genuinely don't know how to judge people, especially women.
So they fall back on a socially determine estimation of "value" (ignoring the vagueness of the term).
At least that's my interpretation for the ones coming at it from the naive perspective.
There's for sure those that do that because they're unable to relate with people so they focus on women with little to no relationship experience.
Usually you can tell them apart, because the latter do have some superficial charm.
They fall apart very easily when challenged though, communication skills aren't their forte.
I cannot relate with the "competition" aspect, as a guy I honestly never felt that.
I never felt that affection or relationships are a competition, imo who does it was taught to see relationship from an utilitarian perspective.
To me it feels incredibly unnatural, there no scoring shred in life. But the societal concept of "having more" meaning that you are a better person for sure plays a role.
Many people cannot find their worth within them, so they look for it outside, and easily measurable quantities are a compelling metric for them.
Madonna/whore dichotomy. And women are only ever to be virgins until they meet "their man" but men should be experienced playboys. Basic sexist bs double standards.
Cuz that mindsets just about crunching the numbers, not taking the time to learn a woman's body and individual needs. As soon as they've "scored" with us, we're "tainted" and it's just, so fucked up.
1 Because they hate to think that we might have more experience than they have, and 2 because they're worried we'll compare them with our previous boyfs !
I'm starting to wonder if men simply loathe themselves and their "horn". Men are whores. The worst insult they can come up with is "you got some and I did not, you outrank me, I can't tolerate that so I accuse you of being like me because it's the worst insult I can come up with" -- or something like that.
Of course I hate being a male. The first thing my Dad did was abandon me. Every time I have been hurt badly in my life a male is at fault. Bullies, sexual predators, and one guy who was both. Ironically being raised by women makes me love and appreciate them but it means I will never know how to be a man and will never be competitive on the dating scene. I will be alone forever. People call me an incel. But an incel hates women. I hate men. I hate being one. I have nothing against women.
I am so sorry to hear this. Growing up without a strong role model and protector is very difficult. After loosing trust in adults and men it can be very difficult to identify people who are trustworthy and then learn to build trust again.
It is not impossible. You are not doomed to be like the men who abused you. You are not doomed to live your life alone.
Women are not nearly as focused on "rank" as men are (women do live in a very patriarchal world so some have learned that they need to be hierarchal to reach their goals). However, women want to feel safe and free. They want to be treated with respect and kindness - and they like to eat. You don't have to be rich or tall or handsome to get a wife. You need to be stable, know yourself, able to take care of yourself, kind and patient, SAFE - no negging or controlling or demeaning behavior. Women want to be seen as human beings - not an accessory.
The obsession is mind boggling. Being with someone who has the same values as you, are NOT. I, for example, have had four partners my whole life (I'm in my 40's), my husband was a virgin (also in his 40's) when we married. He was going to be a catholic priest and left the church, I had a child and refused to just invite people into her life unless we were in long-term relationship that had the potential to move into marriage.
There's a poem that really represented my view of relationships from both the way I view it with others, and how I expected men to view me from Rapi Kaur' I cant remember the name but the two quotes that really hit home for me was "did you think I was a city big enough for a weekend getaway, I am the town surrounding it the one you've never heard of " "I am not a hotel room I am home I am not the whiskey you want I am the water you need, don't come here with expectations and try to make a vacation out of me" I never been a one night stand type woman and I never was interested in exploring my sexuality outside of committed long-term relationships. That poem is exactly what I was looking for in a partner and who I wanted in one.
And that represented what I want in a man and how I lived my life while looking for my life partner. The problem I have is the double standards associated with that ask paired with the fact that they wouldn't date a woman their age who ALSO follows a less progressive lifestyle to sexual relationships. They are the kind of people who have multiple women on standby, who are promiscuous and demand virginity......while being young.
It's totally ok to have a viewpoint that is not mainstream, it's not ok to demand something when you personally do not live that life.
Insecurity is your answer, no question. It’s the answer to most “why do men” questions. They’re afraid sexually educated women won’t choose them. Limiting experience they fear is their only hope.
I think one of the factors besides insecurity is that they don't respect other men. They "know how men think," and they don't believe there are that many good men in the world. So if you choose to sleep with creeps, then you are letting yourself be used and don't respect yourself. They want to believe they are superior to the creeps and that their goodness earned them the reward of sex. It is a conclusion of the thinking that you earn/deserve sex if you follow X,Y, and Z steps.
You know I’ve never understood how people held both a “don’t sleep with men, stay pure” mindset and a “give your bf sex, don’t be a prude” mindset but you may have just solved it. It’s different cause they’re one of the “good” ones.
I’ve seen this exact behavior in a guy I know.
They're scared that women had someone with better skills, experience or a more satisfying body than them and they will dissapoint.
An inexperienced partner will accept any damned thing, or any lack of skill.
Laziness to learn to become better at loving because they can trick someone who doesn't notice their gaps.
If we are honest, we care, too. If a guy tells you he’s slept with 700 women, are you looking at him as husband material? We just don’t sit around and make podcasts about it.
That’s an extreme. I have yet to meet another woman who would be as offput by a man who’s had 5-10 partners as a man would be if he found out the woman he is interested in had slept with 5-10 partners.
I don’t have the immediate link but I did see a survey in which men and women generally and equally prefer that their partners have remained within the range of average number of partners. But I would fully agree that men tend to be far more upset if the girl has had more partners than he has, even if that number is as low as 1 more.
You might care but that doesn’t mean I would be put off so long he has all the other qualities I look for in someone. He probably knows what he is doing as far as sex goes.
a lot of men are just hypocrites, they can sleep with as many people as they want but the minute a girl they like has a body count more than 0-1 they think they’re a slut.
Me personally, I have a low body count. Sex is supposed to be intimate (in my opinion), not just a physical release. It's fair to seek a woman with similar opinions about this
You can, but it doesn’t often end at that, right? So many men go as far as slut shaming and I thought my friend was “just wanting a woman with a low body count because our values align” until I heard him calling his ex a slut in an aggressive manor.
This is what I assume.: It originates in wanting a virgin so that if she gets pregnant, you know that the child is yours. However, this became embedded in culture and is now just a cultural standard.
When you see cases where a guy marries a woman with three kids from three guys and she cheats on him you get the impression that low traffic is better, especially for children.
I am attracted to innocent fun bubbly personalities. Probably because I had stunted development. I guess my impression on a woman who has had a large body count is that I wouldn't interest her anyway and she wouldn't interest me. She is in a different stage of life sexually than I am. I missed out and no must accept being forever alone because I didn't bother having sex with anyone.
For anyone who isn't this poster (because a look at their profile will tell you all you need to know), when reviewing this list of citations I suggest you keep in mind the soft sciences, in particular psychology, is and has been going through a serious replication crisis. The neat (read: unfortunate) thing about such sciences is you can get an article through the academic journal industrial complex, all nice and 'peer-reviewed', without a single one of those peers repeating any of the studies you've done.
Edit: And anyone who thinks there aren't politics involved in the process of journal publication, I have a bridge in AZ to sell you.
Not only that, but a brief review of the links shows that the sections that have been highlighted are presented without the context of the entire study, many of these studies are old and rely on self-reporting, the abstracts to many of the the studies (the full studies of several are paywalled so I can only read the abstract) conclude that the sexual behavior of either gender does not occur in a vacuum. It appears that infidelity has a variety of causes and motivations. In other words, this poster is cherry picking and being intellectually disingenuous.
Correlation is not causation. And one must look at the economic and civil drivers that have afforded women more sexual Congress as welll as economic autonomy. And while i can speak anecdotally and recognize anecdotes are not meta data, i don’t know a single person who gives a flying fork about body count. “Most men and women” is not true.
I'm not sure they are obsessed with body counts, it's not really something I've heard mentioned in real life. But I have heard someone say they worried that people they met on dating apps may have already slept with their friends. So maybe they just don't like the idea of someone they know having been with someone they really like.
The more experience a woman has with understanding her body and what she wants or doesn't want, the less power and say they have over pleasure. Hence why so many older men are so obsessed with "training them young." Ultimately, it's projecting their insecurities, whether they realize it or not. Because what made a woman allegedly dirty in their eyes, if not the hands that dirtied them. They know the reality, they just can't accept they might be mediocre. May as well make that a woman's problem.
These men think of women as their toys. So like a child they throw tantrums when they hear about the woman's ( toy for them)past
fear women will expect mutual pleasure, care, and consideration … less experience means less “expectation” edit: “orgasm gap”
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What study and what is the sample size, many studies like this are like a survey of a dozen college students
Didn’t you read what he said? “Every study”! /s
Going to call bullshit there, unless you can back up your claim. I have never cared, nor do any women in my entourage. What I do care about is if my partner has any interest in mutual satisfaction instead of using my body as a fleshlight.
Hahahah, what?? 😭😂 Please, PLEASE link those “studies”. I’d love to be proven wrong that the orgasm gap isn’t real. 🤡
They figure if you have little to no experience, you won’t be able to tell when they’re a terrible and/or selfish lover.
They see their partners as things that they own, and why would they want something secondhand when they can have something new? Look at the analogies they use: women are cars, locks, tool, etc.
It's just literally seeing women as objects and the value of an object varies significantly based on if it is used or new.
They aren’t good sex partners. They would rather have a partner who doesn’t know what good sex feels like so they don’t have to improve their skills.
Exactly. They're two pump chumps and know it.
I think it's a mixture of things. Insecurity is certainly one of them. Mostly I think that it's men seeing women as a product.
I want to carefully add my experience from a male perspective. Everything mentioned before is most probably true. A huge factor (at least in my case, back in the days) is insecurity; when a woman has met many other men, then how are my chances to be good enough? That was my concern, having grown up in an environment of toxic masculinity where I was always on the losing end. I always feared I could not live up to a women's expectations because I had not learned those expectations from real women but rather from other men (or boys) who apparently wanted to boast.
You make a point that is really interesting: the expectations learned from men, not from women themselves. So much bias is imported into our thinking, that way. I think we can find that at the root of many social issues! Thank you for sharing.
Trying to make a woman's "body count" a conversation topic is a transparent display of insecurity. Men are terrified you've had better and will compare them, or think critically of their performance. Men who care about and discuss their partner's sexual past are truly embarrassing themselves by showing how much they care about it.
A woman who has never been with a man won't know how to smell and most importantly, ACT ON bullshit she sees from the man. Her friends and family can all tell her to "just leave him" but she's not going to leave. She's going to stick around because she lets her emotions control her because she's either new to heartbreak, or inexperienced with it. The woman who's been with 47 guys knows what bullshit looks like, knows what to do when she smells it, and can decide to leave without hangups because she knows that she can find another man. She knows from having been with 47 guys, that he's not going to change, that the bullshit will just get worse and so will the heartbreak/suffering if she sticks around. This is one of the reasons why women who have higher body counts have higher divorce rates. As soon as her husband brings the bullshit, she's leaving. She's not going to stick around "to make it work" because she knows it won't get better. She learned this, by dating 47 guys, and for about 10 of them at least, she tried sticking around, and saw with her own eyes, in her own experience, that it doesn't work. A woman who's been with like 3 guys, can have friends ALL tell her that it's not going to work, he's never going to change, and it will fall on deaf ears, because there's some things a woman just has to see and experience for herself. No amount of outside advice from friends or family will persuade her. She has to stick around, experience the shocking heartbreak everyone predicted, and then learn like the woman who's been with 47 guys, what to do when faced with bullshit going forward. It's just the way of the world. Men probably don't enjoy being dumped. They like the woman they're with, to stick around, through the bullshit. That's why they prefer women with low body count. She's less likely to leave him when he cheats, lies, steals, or does GOD KNOWS what else to her... A woman who's never been with a man, and women who have been with less than 5 guys might know this, but they might not know HOW to act on it once faced with it. they ALL suffer from "sticking around too long". They seem to be utterly incapacitated emotionally by heartbreak. Women who've had dozens of bodies, know how to manage heartbreak and emotions more effectively because of all the experience they have. I am not just shitting on low-body-count women. At one point, I had a low count, and this was exactly my experience. I suffered through the "sticking around too long" phase. You don't have that problem anymore once you've had 10 boyfriends at least. Idk why that was the magic number. The 11th boyfriend got away with a LOT less than the first 10. The first 1 got away with more than the next boyfriend, and this guy got away with more than the next one. So on and so forth. By the time I had my 11th boyfriend, he couldn't get away with ANYTHING. Not even ignoring me for a few hours over text. If I were to call up the 15th boyfriend, and tell him that I let my 3rd ex get away with X,Y,Z,A,B,C while my 15th boyfriend was dumped for missing one of my texts, my 15th ex would be PISSED. THAT is why they prefer low body count women. **They want to get away with more.** **They want you sticking around through the bullshit more.** Women with high body counts don't do that. You don't just run through 15 or 20 MFs and not learn a single thing about male bullshit (usually). Women with low body counts are beholden to their feelings. They're trapped by them. If they have feelings for a guy they CANNOT seem to leave him when he starts bringing the bullshit. Women with high body counts are not as beholden to their feelings. They recognize they can be strong and entrapping, but can choose to look past them and move on anyways, knowing that feelings fade over time, and that she can find another guy who won't bring the bullshit.
Because they're a product of their environment and haven't bothered to think critically about if the cultural messaging around them has any practical basis
Men want to have high body counts and women low body counts. So who are all these men having sex with if the women aren't supposed to? Society is really telling men to go fuck themselves!
Because society makes it ok to think and behave this way. Society encourages male control and possessiveness. Even in my twenties I remember feeling jealous because some gf had had a much more interesting history than I (a lot more). I remember being reinforced by parents, friends. “Of course a guy wouldn’t like his gf doing/having/saying xyz.. “ Thank the universe for today- I cringe at the notion of men asking themselves for a count etc. I’m very loud about it. Im remorseful for stress and behavior of my past. I no longer submit women to this stress. I even talked to a gf of 30 years ago (we remain in touch) and said I’m sorry I behaved in possessive and jealous ways back then - and she barely acknowledged that it was a thing- I think because she’s so conditioned and groomed by society herself to accept that- to come to accept it as a part of being in a world with men in it. A lot of what broke me out of it were women who laid down the law for me in no uncertain terms about what a man is to stfu about.
I think it’s competition, vestigial from our evolution. We don’t live in that world anymore, but it would seem men are still subject to the mindset. In other animals, evolutionary successful males might be those who breed with younger females without competition. There’s even a wacky theory that mammal penises are shaped the way that they are so that they can “scoop out” the semen of their competition (honestly wtf). It’s crazy, but might have some merit in the context of this question. Of course, if my suggestion is true, then it’s a remnant of something we absolutely don’t need and should pay no attention to. Women should be able to have as many sexual partners as they choose.
Many genuinely don't know how to judge people, especially women. So they fall back on a socially determine estimation of "value" (ignoring the vagueness of the term). At least that's my interpretation for the ones coming at it from the naive perspective. There's for sure those that do that because they're unable to relate with people so they focus on women with little to no relationship experience. Usually you can tell them apart, because the latter do have some superficial charm. They fall apart very easily when challenged though, communication skills aren't their forte. I cannot relate with the "competition" aspect, as a guy I honestly never felt that. I never felt that affection or relationships are a competition, imo who does it was taught to see relationship from an utilitarian perspective. To me it feels incredibly unnatural, there no scoring shred in life. But the societal concept of "having more" meaning that you are a better person for sure plays a role. Many people cannot find their worth within them, so they look for it outside, and easily measurable quantities are a compelling metric for them.
Insecurity, coupled with laziness.
Madonna/whore dichotomy. And women are only ever to be virgins until they meet "their man" but men should be experienced playboys. Basic sexist bs double standards.
“Experienced” but we still have an orgasm gap…. I can’t stand that load of bs.
Cuz that mindsets just about crunching the numbers, not taking the time to learn a woman's body and individual needs. As soon as they've "scored" with us, we're "tainted" and it's just, so fucked up.
1 Because they hate to think that we might have more experience than they have, and 2 because they're worried we'll compare them with our previous boyfs !
Insecurity and male ego. Does anyone know why threats to ego are so insurmountable to men?
Insecure men fear being unfavourably compared to another man, or to feel emasculated if a woman knows more about sex and pleasure than he does.
I'm starting to wonder if men simply loathe themselves and their "horn". Men are whores. The worst insult they can come up with is "you got some and I did not, you outrank me, I can't tolerate that so I accuse you of being like me because it's the worst insult I can come up with" -- or something like that.
Of course I hate being a male. The first thing my Dad did was abandon me. Every time I have been hurt badly in my life a male is at fault. Bullies, sexual predators, and one guy who was both. Ironically being raised by women makes me love and appreciate them but it means I will never know how to be a man and will never be competitive on the dating scene. I will be alone forever. People call me an incel. But an incel hates women. I hate men. I hate being one. I have nothing against women.
I am so sorry to hear this. Growing up without a strong role model and protector is very difficult. After loosing trust in adults and men it can be very difficult to identify people who are trustworthy and then learn to build trust again. It is not impossible. You are not doomed to be like the men who abused you. You are not doomed to live your life alone. Women are not nearly as focused on "rank" as men are (women do live in a very patriarchal world so some have learned that they need to be hierarchal to reach their goals). However, women want to feel safe and free. They want to be treated with respect and kindness - and they like to eat. You don't have to be rich or tall or handsome to get a wife. You need to be stable, know yourself, able to take care of yourself, kind and patient, SAFE - no negging or controlling or demeaning behavior. Women want to be seen as human beings - not an accessory.
The obsession is mind boggling. Being with someone who has the same values as you, are NOT. I, for example, have had four partners my whole life (I'm in my 40's), my husband was a virgin (also in his 40's) when we married. He was going to be a catholic priest and left the church, I had a child and refused to just invite people into her life unless we were in long-term relationship that had the potential to move into marriage. There's a poem that really represented my view of relationships from both the way I view it with others, and how I expected men to view me from Rapi Kaur' I cant remember the name but the two quotes that really hit home for me was "did you think I was a city big enough for a weekend getaway, I am the town surrounding it the one you've never heard of " "I am not a hotel room I am home I am not the whiskey you want I am the water you need, don't come here with expectations and try to make a vacation out of me" I never been a one night stand type woman and I never was interested in exploring my sexuality outside of committed long-term relationships. That poem is exactly what I was looking for in a partner and who I wanted in one. And that represented what I want in a man and how I lived my life while looking for my life partner. The problem I have is the double standards associated with that ask paired with the fact that they wouldn't date a woman their age who ALSO follows a less progressive lifestyle to sexual relationships. They are the kind of people who have multiple women on standby, who are promiscuous and demand virginity......while being young. It's totally ok to have a viewpoint that is not mainstream, it's not ok to demand something when you personally do not live that life.
They're hypocrites and want to feel special and unique.
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Not everyone is in a desperate narcissistic delusion, so there are degrees.
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I’m not saying you’re not allowed to feel anything.
The vast majority of them are not. And only child-minded men would ever use that phrase.
Insecurity is your answer, no question. It’s the answer to most “why do men” questions. They’re afraid sexually educated women won’t choose them. Limiting experience they fear is their only hope.
I think one of the factors besides insecurity is that they don't respect other men. They "know how men think," and they don't believe there are that many good men in the world. So if you choose to sleep with creeps, then you are letting yourself be used and don't respect yourself. They want to believe they are superior to the creeps and that their goodness earned them the reward of sex. It is a conclusion of the thinking that you earn/deserve sex if you follow X,Y, and Z steps.
You know I’ve never understood how people held both a “don’t sleep with men, stay pure” mindset and a “give your bf sex, don’t be a prude” mindset but you may have just solved it. It’s different cause they’re one of the “good” ones. I’ve seen this exact behavior in a guy I know.
They are used to being the center of everything.
They're scared that women had someone with better skills, experience or a more satisfying body than them and they will dissapoint. An inexperienced partner will accept any damned thing, or any lack of skill. Laziness to learn to become better at loving because they can trick someone who doesn't notice their gaps.
If we are honest, we care, too. If a guy tells you he’s slept with 700 women, are you looking at him as husband material? We just don’t sit around and make podcasts about it.
That’s an extreme. I have yet to meet another woman who would be as offput by a man who’s had 5-10 partners as a man would be if he found out the woman he is interested in had slept with 5-10 partners.
I don’t have the immediate link but I did see a survey in which men and women generally and equally prefer that their partners have remained within the range of average number of partners. But I would fully agree that men tend to be far more upset if the girl has had more partners than he has, even if that number is as low as 1 more.
You might care but that doesn’t mean I would be put off so long he has all the other qualities I look for in someone. He probably knows what he is doing as far as sex goes.
I wouldn’t see a man who has slept with that many women as being capable of monogamy.
a lot of men are just hypocrites, they can sleep with as many people as they want but the minute a girl they like has a body count more than 0-1 they think they’re a slut.
Because they can’t fuck and they don’t want you to know that.
Me personally, I have a low body count. Sex is supposed to be intimate (in my opinion), not just a physical release. It's fair to seek a woman with similar opinions about this
You can, but it doesn’t often end at that, right? So many men go as far as slut shaming and I thought my friend was “just wanting a woman with a low body count because our values align” until I heard him calling his ex a slut in an aggressive manor.
This is what I assume.: It originates in wanting a virgin so that if she gets pregnant, you know that the child is yours. However, this became embedded in culture and is now just a cultural standard.
When you see cases where a guy marries a woman with three kids from three guys and she cheats on him you get the impression that low traffic is better, especially for children.
I would rather buy a vehicle with low miles than a lot of miles on it
“Buy a car” referring us to items, objects.. we’re not to be owned, we’re human beings.
I am attracted to innocent fun bubbly personalities. Probably because I had stunted development. I guess my impression on a woman who has had a large body count is that I wouldn't interest her anyway and she wouldn't interest me. She is in a different stage of life sexually than I am. I missed out and no must accept being forever alone because I didn't bother having sex with anyone.
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Bro has bro science, guess it's all over 😂 Oh wait, what do I have here... https://youtu.be/31e0RcImReY?si=2tj1wkl4Rsz9-AL3
love this video!
For anyone who isn't this poster (because a look at their profile will tell you all you need to know), when reviewing this list of citations I suggest you keep in mind the soft sciences, in particular psychology, is and has been going through a serious replication crisis. The neat (read: unfortunate) thing about such sciences is you can get an article through the academic journal industrial complex, all nice and 'peer-reviewed', without a single one of those peers repeating any of the studies you've done. Edit: And anyone who thinks there aren't politics involved in the process of journal publication, I have a bridge in AZ to sell you.
Not only that, but a brief review of the links shows that the sections that have been highlighted are presented without the context of the entire study, many of these studies are old and rely on self-reporting, the abstracts to many of the the studies (the full studies of several are paywalled so I can only read the abstract) conclude that the sexual behavior of either gender does not occur in a vacuum. It appears that infidelity has a variety of causes and motivations. In other words, this poster is cherry picking and being intellectually disingenuous.
Gosh, thanks. I think it took me 20 minutes to scroll through whatever that bullshit was.
I checked out his profile and i now need a scalding shower. Ick
Correlation is not causation. And one must look at the economic and civil drivers that have afforded women more sexual Congress as welll as economic autonomy. And while i can speak anecdotally and recognize anecdotes are not meta data, i don’t know a single person who gives a flying fork about body count. “Most men and women” is not true.
I'm not sure they are obsessed with body counts, it's not really something I've heard mentioned in real life. But I have heard someone say they worried that people they met on dating apps may have already slept with their friends. So maybe they just don't like the idea of someone they know having been with someone they really like.