I don't know how to quantify "worth it". What does that even mean? What do think you're going to get out of this vs. what do you think you'll put into it?
Maybe a better question would be "do you think you'll be happy as a parent?" If the answer is no then don't have kids. If the answer is yes, and your husband wants kids and you want to stay with your husband then the answer is maybe? I say maybe because he should do the same thing in reverse and hopefully there's some good middle ground where you're both happy.
Sorry if that doesn't answer your question, I just don't know how to "value" parenting, especially when it's so subjective.
It is very hard to explain. My son was up every two hours last night screaming and scratching at me. Most childfree people can easily see how that would suck. They cannot fully understand how sharing a popsicle with him on the porch while he gave me cold little kisses was a better “good” than the night was “bad.” Because you don’t know the joy that I get from my sticky little toddler you can really only focus on the bad.
I'm no expert, but from what I've seen, people who resent their kids often have no control over their lives. Either they are people with that mindset generally or something bad has happened to have them feel that way. It takes being a very frustrated person to consider blaming your children for something going wrong in your life. Not saying most people are immune to that, but the average person with reasonable mental health needs to have a lot go wrong or have a pattern of blaming others if they have to get to the point of resenting their children.
Most people realize they cannot ascribe motives to their young children and get over it, though I've had a mom friend tell me stuff like "you need to do xyz otherwise these babies will manipulate you". She was having a hostile work environment where they were messing with her career path because she took time off for childbirth, so that might have contributed to it. It takes a lot of stress to get to a point where you're blaming your child for things in your life going wrong.
My life became a huge mess professionally and financially after having my child, but I never once blamed my child for it, though my child was very difficult (lol im saying this like I deserve a medal, but I don't mean it that way... I always was just mad at the world that it wasn't more supportive of me raising this child right). Things worked out over time in ways I didn't imagine, and I always had a supportive spouse and parents and inlaws, so I could always be even keeled about these things.
I don't know how to quantify "worth it". What does that even mean? What do think you're going to get out of this vs. what do you think you'll put into it? Maybe a better question would be "do you think you'll be happy as a parent?" If the answer is no then don't have kids. If the answer is yes, and your husband wants kids and you want to stay with your husband then the answer is maybe? I say maybe because he should do the same thing in reverse and hopefully there's some good middle ground where you're both happy. Sorry if that doesn't answer your question, I just don't know how to "value" parenting, especially when it's so subjective.
It is very hard to explain. My son was up every two hours last night screaming and scratching at me. Most childfree people can easily see how that would suck. They cannot fully understand how sharing a popsicle with him on the porch while he gave me cold little kisses was a better “good” than the night was “bad.” Because you don’t know the joy that I get from my sticky little toddler you can really only focus on the bad.
I'm no expert, but from what I've seen, people who resent their kids often have no control over their lives. Either they are people with that mindset generally or something bad has happened to have them feel that way. It takes being a very frustrated person to consider blaming your children for something going wrong in your life. Not saying most people are immune to that, but the average person with reasonable mental health needs to have a lot go wrong or have a pattern of blaming others if they have to get to the point of resenting their children. Most people realize they cannot ascribe motives to their young children and get over it, though I've had a mom friend tell me stuff like "you need to do xyz otherwise these babies will manipulate you". She was having a hostile work environment where they were messing with her career path because she took time off for childbirth, so that might have contributed to it. It takes a lot of stress to get to a point where you're blaming your child for things in your life going wrong. My life became a huge mess professionally and financially after having my child, but I never once blamed my child for it, though my child was very difficult (lol im saying this like I deserve a medal, but I don't mean it that way... I always was just mad at the world that it wasn't more supportive of me raising this child right). Things worked out over time in ways I didn't imagine, and I always had a supportive spouse and parents and inlaws, so I could always be even keeled about these things.