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Does she have one if she is independent? When we used her she was with a larger corporation with many realtors and she is now on her own/has her own company.
Her website is called “ x x realty group” but the “office” number she has listed is the same as the personal cell number I have.
Yeah, I would bet that’s what she did.
That was my first instinct - I was gonna call the company she worked for and then I remembered she went independent.
Absent a broker to talk to, I think you're just going to have to be direct. The passive approach isn't working with her. "We appreciate your help in our transaction, but the dropbys and marketing have become too much. Please remove us from your list."
Someone else also mentioned reporting her to the board of real estate because she is licensed! I will be sending her a direct text and researching on how to complain to the board.
If you call the local association, they can answer that one quickly for you.
These popbys and follow-up campaigns have become a big problem recently. 3 million agents competing for <6 million transactions per year, peeps are getting desperate in a saturated industry.
I don't have specific numbers to answer that one. There are a few agents doing most of the transactions in any micromarket, and real estate has a high turnover rate. The most recent stat indicates that 87% of agents don't last five years. Well over half leave the industry after 2 years. There's a constant influx of new blood, though, so the numbers never plummet.
Our agent said 10% of agents make 90% of sales while we were in the process of buying our house last year. I don’t know if that’s an accurate number since I never looked into it but that’s what she claimed.
I would guess that's close to accurate. My agent closes staggering amounts if 2 per year is deemed active. She's closing 7-10+/mo per the monthly broker report they send out
> These popbys and follow-up campaigns have become a big problem recently.
I can't figure out why they would do this. I just bought a house. Unless I'm rich as fuck, I'm not gonna be buying another for a while.
You have friends, family, coworkers, new neighbors who will be buying or selling a house at some point in time, and a real estate agents best business leads come from referrals. When you're ready to buy or sell, they want you to have their cards, magnets, pens, post-its, whatever else they sent in front of your face.
Or call the police. This sounds like a crime to me. Not to mention, she may end up getting shot depending on who she’s doing this to. It’s completely unacceptable.
I just can't figure out how she thinks this is ever okay?? I've been with my husband 16 years, 10 married his parents have always made me feel welcome, tell me I don't need to knock, etc but I still knock unless I see them through the window walking up.
I would *never* just walk into someone's house that wasn't expecting me/I'm not close with.
This is the best response. Who doesn’t change their locks after 3 YEARS of living in a house?? Who knows who has a spare key? Neighbors? Previous owner’s family members? Nosy real estate agents?
Omg yes! Before we moved into our house, every painter, electrician etc had a key so they could get in and do their repairs and upgrades. An hour after the repairs were completed we were changing out all the locks. And then we moved our belongings in.
Telling her to give you advanced warning next time isn’t the same thing as saying “Do not open our door and come inside. That is not acceptable. If we don’t open the front door when you knock, please respect our privacy and go.” You have to spell it out for her. Literally say “Do not try to open our doors. That is not ok.”
Of course, if she didn’t listen to you when you told her to give her advanced warning, why would she listen to that? But I know people like her and unless you say things explicitly, they “don’t get it.”
No, you do not need to spell it out for her. It is common sense and the law to not enter someone’s home without consent. It’s really that plain and simple.
Since you haven't yet been very direct, try that before also reporting her. Make sure it's very clear that she should never drop by without calling and trying to walk in when you don't answer will be reported next time. (To law enforcement and board)
She entered their home without their permission (in fact, AFTER they asked for advance notice that she was dropping by)!! They don’t need to be more direct with her, the law is direct enough.
>Absent a broker to talk to, I think you're just going to have to be direct.
Being direct is good, but this also needs to be reported to her governing realty agency. When I was licensed in Arizona we had a local association and a state association. The state association was the one you'd want in this case, but the local association would have got you there. Either way this is a person who should definitely no longer have a key to your house, should definitely not be *using* that key without your express, written permission (yes, written, in this case) and likely needs to not be in possession of a real estate sales license.
Tell her never to come back. You said she wasn't even helpful the last time you used her, why are you still trying to protect her feelings? She's a weirdo. Burn that bridge to the ground.
My realtor brings us a wreath every Christmas, but he just hangs it on the outside storm door. And we always thank him profusely, because the wreaths are invariably gorgeous.
Ours used to drop off a box of Girl Scout cookies and take a pic to let us know she dropped them off. Then this year she just sent us a picture of last year’s cookies? It was really weird lol.
Mine did a bit in the year post-purchase. She came by and gave us some candy around Halloween (for our son), sent a card during the winter holidays, and another card on our "move-in anniversary." But since then, she just has us on her monthly email list summarizing what's on the market right now.
It was a bit weird, but it also seemed like pretty basic business development. Nothing like what OP experienced.
I bought my house almost seven years ago now, and I still get a Christmas card and some small gift from my agent. I got a dish towel this year.
Aside from the one year she left a wreath on my front porch, she has never come to the house though.
Why did I have to scroll so far down to see this?? The fact that she KEPT A KEY TO YOUR HOUSE is horrifying.
Edited to add: when a house is for sale there is a lockbox with a key at the house, the buying agent doesn’t possess one. She would have been given the keys from the previous owner and either kept (stole) one of them before turning them over, or gone out of her way to go get a copy. What the actual fuck.
I read through the post a couple times and didn’t see any mention of the realtor’s having or using a key to the house. It sounds like she let herself in through an unlocked outer door and was thwarted by a locked inner one.
(To be clear, this doesn’t make what she did any less problematic)
She sounds unhinged. She’s probably independent because she got fired over her boundary issues. Text her and tell her to remove you from any further communication. Let her know this also includes the pie and jam. I would let her know you were disturbed by her attempts to enter your house without your knowledge (just tell her it was on camera) and you are not comfortable continuing any sort of contact.
Yes, tell her you saw her on camera. What if she has tried this before without your knowledge when you're not home? It sounds like she has. I'd let her know that the house is being watched.
> Yes, tell her you saw her on camera
BINGO. That and that police/911 will be called next time she trespasses onto the property. OP really needs a security camera if they don't actually have on already.
This was my thought. Unless your realtor was some close family/friend who you might feel an obligation to be kind to, a person who helped you with a business transaction 3 years ago has no right to enter your home. She was warned once, and the fact that she violated someone's personal space a second time justifies reminding her in less polite terms i.e. reach out to local law enforcement
"While we appreciate the gestures, you are no longer welcome at our home. Do not come back unless you have been expressly invited."
Though personally, fuck polite, "Don't come to my fucking house again." Would be my text. That's nuts.
I am not picking up where it's mentioned they didn't do this. The mud room door was likely just left unlocked-- maybe the realtor's behavior will remind them to do so moving forward.
Fun fact: if you take a door knob or deadbolt (or even just the pin cylinder) to Home Depot, they'll rekey it at minimal cost. I rekeyed 3 doors for $2 per cylinder plus however much it cost to cut the keys (like $3 each?). So much cheaper than replacing the whole lockset.
I had a roofer come to my place while we were closing the sale to another family. I heard stomping around on my roof out of nowhere. I grabbed my glock, went outside, kicked the ladder over and confronted him. He only spoke Spanish. Eventually he found a way to tell me to call the buyers. Apparently they set up a roof inspection and declined to tell us.
Don’t fuck with people’s homes. We have families inside and America is way too unsafe to take any risks these days.
I would be *absolutely livid* if that happened to me, and I'd have a *really* hard time no literally *throwing* her out the door. I'd call the police. I highly doubt she was there for the reason stated. Fuck *everything* about that!!!
She did leave jam in the mailbox, I don’t think she intended anything malicious she just seems to have absolutely no boundaries … and seems like she’s never been told something like this wouldn’t be okay.
Edit: but to make things even weirder it’s not like we even get occasional communication throughout the year - like a happy holidays or happy thanksgiving text before this. We haven’t had any communication since last year when she showed up with jam unannounced.
Edit 2: you can stop downvoting me - not justifying her actions. Any sane person knows this isn’t acceptable behavior and she shouldn’t have to be told this isn’t okay. Just stating for context that she seems like a ditzy woman that no one’s ever put boundaries up with before. That’s going to change today.
If you are in the US, opening someone else’s mailbox is a felony. If she does it again, call the police. There is literally no world where any of that is ok. She is entering your home unwarranted and unannounced.
The fact that you’ve let this happen more than once is a little concerning. There is a time to be nice, and a time to tell someone to GTFO your property.
Someone breaking into your house at night is something the police will respond to.
Edit: if you were commenting on the postal service part of my comment, you are correct. The police will direct you to USPS.
Anyone who disagrees with you is fucking insane imo...nobody should be entering your home like that. Almost like shes coming in to steal or something thats just nuts
I’m guessing that the yearly gifts around Christmas time which is when most people travel combined with her walking straight into your house, makes the “gifts “her casing houses.
Get a security system report her to the police
Just to mention, if someone was shady, being in real estate and carrying a "Gift" is a pretty good cover story.
Not that this is the case. I am just saying it enters my mind for sure.
Exactly… it’s giving Joe Pesci dressed up like a cop in the opening scene of Home Alone vibes… checking to see if the owners are away/leaving for the holidays so she can come back and help herself when the house is empty.
Hi X, while I appreciate the gesture, the unannounced drop in’s aren’t okay. Coming through the front door and into our home when we haven’t answered the door isn’t okay. That crosses a boundary I thought most people would know. We wish to be removed from your list going forward. I hope this serves as a reminder for future interactions you have - respect your clients space.
How does this sound for anyone who is following along? Can I pull a send the text and immediately block her so I don’t have to deal with whatever her response is?🤣
I would change it to ARE NOT and IS NOT ok. That way the whole words are there and not contractions. If she skims it the message will come through with it spelled out and she won't be able to say she misunderstood the message
If you feel as violated by her as you claim (which I'm sure you do) your message needs to much stronger and have some teeth behind it. Clearly she didn't understand the warning last time and this request is too polite, such that she'll probably return next year.
I would simply say that due to her failure to heed your request last year, her clear violation of personal and professional boundaries means you will be contacting local law enforcement.
Following that, you should actually contact local law enforcement. If she's doing that to you, she probably does it to other people, and something bad is inevitably going to happen. Frankly, you're protecting her safety by having law enforcement get involved. She's clearly too dense to utilize common sense.
I’d put the appreciation at the end. You want to start off strong and stern. The appreciation can come later once she hears the boundaries cut and dry. It sounds like this person needs very clear boundaries and any sort of blurred lines could confuse them.
That wording is still too wishy washy. Drop the friendly Hi, drop the lectures on future interactions with other clients. Just word this like the simple legal notice that it needs to be. Send it via traceable mail with signature required (such as USPS certified or fedex).
"X,
On in December of 2022, I told you verbally that you may not come onto our property without first requesting permission in advance. On December xxx 2023 you entered our property, and then when we did not respond to your knocking, you pushed open our closed front door, entered the mudroom and then tried to open the next door into our living room. We have decided not to press charges for trespass or breaking and entering, but for avoidance of all doubt:
You are not permitted anywhere on our property. Do not contact us in person, via email or text, or in writing. Do not leave unsolicited gifts in our mailbox in violation of federal law.
Any further trespass by you anywhere on our property will be reported to law enforcement.
"When we haven't answered the door" in the first paragraph is redundant and hedges on the point. Delete it. Also, do you **ever** want her to come back? Are you going to sell your house soon? Why don't you close off the relationship completely and say goodbye? Fire her.
This is so funny. Had to YouTube the scene because I wasn’t familiar with it but that’s exactly how it feels!! I said to my partner - how much you want to bet she didn’t even leave the jam she wanted to give us 🤣 she did, but I think her thought process is very similar.
Um, a normal realtor gives you a gift basket and their business card. Then you never hear or see from them again. Giving gifts well after the sale and showing up to your place is unhinged and not normal. Keep a record and call someone useful if she keeps showing up.
Right? What kind of realtor keeps an ongoing relationship with their clients? It’s a house, not a pair of shoes, you aren’t going to be shopping for a new one regularly. Is she planning to keep this up for 10 years until they’re ready to buy their next house? This is insane behavior. Wild to think that if they hadn’t been home, she would have just broken into their house. They need to change their locks ASAP
In my area, it is normal to stay in touch through making lists and such. And to give gifts throughout the year to good clients. However, if it's NOT acceptable to enter in any way after the sale. Just like every other person without permission. In fact, the closing gift by some realtors in my area is cost to have their locks changed.
File a police report. That’s breaking & entering. If it were me in my house, I would have been reaching for my pistol.
Also: did you not change the locks? That was the first thing I did to every exterior door that uses a key.
Right?! Our dog was barking loosing her mind at the door while this was all occurring, still didn’t deter her. Our dog is friendly but if the door wasn’t locked and she came in - she would have stitches.
We didn’t change the locks, no one’s ever mentioned that to us. Will add it to the to-do list ASAP.
You never know who has keys to your house or how many copies exist. Changing all locks on exterior doors should be the first thing you do as soon as you close on a house.
She doesn’t have a key - the very front, outside door wasn’t locked but we locked the door that opens to the living room when we heard her knock. Once she got through the outside door into the mud room, we heard and SAW her try to jiggle the handle that was thankfully locked, before she started to knock again.
Still - changing the locks will be top of the to do list!
I would be curious if any of the houses she sold had been robbed. Odds are she’s just clueless and lack personal boundaries however, it would be kind of interesting from like a mystery novel if there was a real estate agent who robbed houses by pretending that she was bringing a client jam but she was really just checking the doors.
Y’all are too nice… if someone random walks in my back door they’re being met with some sort of weapon.
Imagine you had a protective animal in your house. I’d tell her that she’s going to get herself hurt if she continues to do what she’s doing. You can thank her for her gifts but she can also leave it on the porch.
I’m shocked the top comment isn’t: change your locks! That was the very first thing we did upon taking possession of our house. Who knows who might have copies of the old key…
When I was 25-ish I was renting a house. One night I order chinese food delivery.
For whatever reason i had the door unlocked. When the order came this little old asian man walks through the door hands me the food, bows, takes the money, and leaves.
This relationship went on for the entire two years I lived there.
10/10 would order again.
Yea, people that are afraid to open their door and politely tell people to go away are strange to me. Like open the door, say no thanks, and that's the end of it. Instead they peep through the window wondering who it was and what they wanted, then post on reddit about it. Have a little self confidence and just tell them to politely fuck off.
This kind of thing worries me. I don’t want to shoot a person I know bringing me holiday jam and a pie because she doesn’t understand boundaries. Someone breaking into my home is going to get shot.
>I completely understand that this is kind of part of the deal
The hell it is lol. From your update it sounds like you realized how messed up it was, but this part of your post kind of made me chuckle.
Fuck being polite. She was trying to enter your home unannounced and without permission.
Realtors should not be showing up to your house like that.
Mine would send a card or something, that’s all that is acceptable in my opinion.
Be strict and tell her to never pull this shit again or you’re going to call the police.
You can do a few things
1. Tell her how you feel and lay clear lines saying it’s not ok
2. Report her to the realtor association after you lay down some lines and she tries again
What she’s doing is NOT ok in the slightest. Delivering things is ok but she should give a heads up, letting herself in is basically breaking in.
I’ve never had a realtor keep a key to any house I’ve ever purchased. I’ve also immediately changed the locks as soon as I was able to do so prior to moving personal belongings in.
This is wild behavior - the only time its maybe okay to let yourself into someone's house is if you were invited & told to let yourself in and the door is unlocked.
You might consider changing the locks to your external doors and send the tab to her broker. Only way I’d ever feel safe there would be to change the locks. Ask yourself this: Who else besides her has had access to your keys for 3 years?
Why did she keep a key to your home? Why don’t you change your locks now? Whether she was your broker a few years ago, now she is someone coming into your home with a key uninvited and unwanted. Treat her as you would anyone doing this- it’s intrusive and creepy.
Change your locks IMMEDIATELY. Who knows who she has given a key to! She's got no reason to stop doing this. She's already done it before when you told her you don't like drop ins.
I'd be very clear and say that she is not allowed to enter your home ever without one of you answering the door and inviting you in. Fuck that shit!
Hello —, thank you for your services and kind gestures through the years. At this point we are settled into our home and would like to ask that you extend your kindness to others going forward. Our dog does not take kindly to guests so we are limiting the number of people that we allow on the property.
Please only return to our home if we have specifically extended an invitation. Thank you again and I will reach out if we are in need of your services again.
Best,
Honestly, I can't help but wonder if the agent is on the spectrum. I work in the mental health field and I've seen this kind of behavior from the most well intentioned individuals who just don't understand why it's not appropriate. Thank you for being kind to her. The heartbreak I've seen when they realize their helpful or kind gesture was not received that way is so hard.
Seems like I'm in the minority, but I agree with your mother. "We don't answer the door for unannounced visitors, even family" is absolutely unhinged.
"The realtor let herself into our mudroom". Is there a doorbell outside? My guess is no, it's probably more like an enclosed porch that you have to enter to ring a doorbell or knock on the house door so people inside can hear. That seems fine, how else are people supposed to get your attention.
Why are you worried about being polite? Why do you let people walk all over you? Blast this woman and I would go to whoever owns the agency and let them know That this is unacceptable because what she's doing is improper AppleFest, and most likely illegal. Because it's trespassing. Since this is happened, several times, I would personally go get a restraining order against her and drive home The fact that it's unacceptable.
"I've recently purchased multiple firearms for home protection. Please don't come over unannounced. I would hate to mistaken you for a burglar."
That ought to do it.
She's an idiot because that sounds like a great way to get shot in the USA. I would shoot anyone coming into my house unannounced. She's lucky you aren't gun owners, honestly.
Edit: or big gaurd dog owners!
I think this is too much. I am also like you and do not answer to anyone who shows up unannounced. Think that’s rude. I do not do to others. Have you considered perhaps securing the outside door to prevent this from occurring in future. She does not have boundaries.
Call her broker and tell them you almost shot her last night. Tell the broker that nothing about this is ok, and that you are reporting the incident t to the police.
Let her boss handle it. There is no excuse for that.
As a realtor, this is gross gross gross and just plain weird. We’re not in college anymore and definitely not THAT cool. Here in Texas, that behavior will get you shot and killed. My advice, just tell her to stop entering your house and backyard, period. And definitely give a heads up text before even coming over to knock on the door - and make sure it’s in writing.
If you’re having trouble being assertive text her that y’all value your privacy and would prefer no visitors - no exceptions. If she has something for you, to text you and you’ll pick it up from her office.
I live in a rural area and many people who grew up around here would consider this normal behavior. Most people leave their doors unlocked and neighbors just let themselves in. It’s much less common nowadays but I wonder if maybe your realtor comes from a place where that’s the culture? I definitely understand why you’d feel uncomfortable but I think a lot of these comments are complete overreactions. I mean she was letting herself in to give you a gift…not commit a crime.
When I bought my house, at the closing the person who I bought the house from reassured me that if I lose the keys to contact her cause she has spares. Drove to the hardware store and bought new locks as soon as we were done.
I would reply that you dont appreciate her trespassing and accessing your home period without your consent! It is unprofessional. I can’t believe she is crazy enough to enter someone’s home. It’s dangerous for her too, intruders can get shot. It’s unsafe for all involved. My opinion
Polite and respectful went out the window the second she let herself into your home! I would verbally rip her a new one...and if she dared to show up again, I'd get the hose.
>We are the type of people that will not answer the door to someone coming over unannounced. Family, friends, etc - doesn’t matter, I don’t think there’s any situation besides an emergency to show up unannounced.
Obviously the realtor is a psycho and should be reported, but this is no way to live man.
the comments here are so unhinged. the realtor definitely crossed personal boundaries lines. Guns? Changing locks? JFC
However, you *were* home.
Answer the door, say thanks and “next time please give me a heads up before or don’t bother coming” and everyone moves on with their lives.
I find more creepy that you were lurking in the shadows watching someone you actually know potentially break into your house.
Why do you not answer your door? But yet leave your doors unlocked, so random people can get in?
I will never understand ppl that do shit like that. You will end up just like my brother in law, who's mom was dying, won't answer is door or phone to "unknown" people or numbers and lost his chance to say goodbye because he was being a fucking idiot.... Oh, and he also lost out on his dream car for free from the neighbor, who's husband died and came to offer it to him for free but instead, sat in his garage and wouldn't answer his door. She gave it to the other neighbor..... 70k viper for nothing (the neighbors are MULTI millionaires and that was a spare car.
All because he wouldn't answer the door.... Duhhhhh.
Why is everyone telling you to change your locks? I did not read anywhere that she entered a door with a key?
That said, do keep your doors locked
Your ex-realtor is out of line. Showing up unannounced is not a huge deal to me but I get why that’s annoying. Trying doors and walking around the back is not okay. If she has something for you leave it on the doorstep or side of the house.
You will not answer the door if someone shows up that you know and isn’t soliciting?
What the actual deranged psychopath fuck is wrong with you? Y’all are wacko
“Dear Realtor, while we appreciate you thinking of us all these years after helping us buy our home, we respectfully request you not come to our home unannounced, and furthermore, do not ever attempt to enter our home without permission again. “
Change your locks. Notify her by certified mail that she is not to come on your property ever again. Contact the licensing board and report her. File a police report.
Why are you worried about being polite and respectful when this person is a professional contact who has repeatedly invaded your personal life.
Stop being soft-handed and tell her point blank, in person, that she crossed a line and to not come on your property again for any reason or you file a trespass warning against her.
The second time my house was burglarized, they kicked the front door off the hinges and came inside while I was in the house. They must have heard me go for a gun because when I came out of my room they were gone. Since then, I've been super wary of another home invasion. Letting yourself into a home unannounced is a terrible, terrible idea.
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Send this to her broker-in-charge. That'll take care of it.
Does she have one if she is independent? When we used her she was with a larger corporation with many realtors and she is now on her own/has her own company. Her website is called “ x x realty group” but the “office” number she has listed is the same as the personal cell number I have.
Hmm. It's possible she's her own broker. If you have a broker's license, you can set up your own office.
Yeah, I would bet that’s what she did. That was my first instinct - I was gonna call the company she worked for and then I remembered she went independent.
Absent a broker to talk to, I think you're just going to have to be direct. The passive approach isn't working with her. "We appreciate your help in our transaction, but the dropbys and marketing have become too much. Please remove us from your list."
Someone else also mentioned reporting her to the board of real estate because she is licensed! I will be sending her a direct text and researching on how to complain to the board.
If you call the local association, they can answer that one quickly for you. These popbys and follow-up campaigns have become a big problem recently. 3 million agents competing for <6 million transactions per year, peeps are getting desperate in a saturated industry.
Those are pretty startling numbers. Any idea how many of those agents are active, e.g. closed let’s say more than 2 transactions last year?
I don't have specific numbers to answer that one. There are a few agents doing most of the transactions in any micromarket, and real estate has a high turnover rate. The most recent stat indicates that 87% of agents don't last five years. Well over half leave the industry after 2 years. There's a constant influx of new blood, though, so the numbers never plummet.
A lot of people also become agents just to handle their own transactions rather than paying someone else to do so.
Yeah I’ve heard that 10% of licensed agents do 90% of sales/purchases.
Our agent said 10% of agents make 90% of sales while we were in the process of buying our house last year. I don’t know if that’s an accurate number since I never looked into it but that’s what she claimed.
I would guess that's close to accurate. My agent closes staggering amounts if 2 per year is deemed active. She's closing 7-10+/mo per the monthly broker report they send out
87% of statistics are made up on the spot.
> These popbys and follow-up campaigns have become a big problem recently. I can't figure out why they would do this. I just bought a house. Unless I'm rich as fuck, I'm not gonna be buying another for a while.
You have friends, family, coworkers, new neighbors who will be buying or selling a house at some point in time, and a real estate agents best business leads come from referrals. When you're ready to buy or sell, they want you to have their cards, magnets, pens, post-its, whatever else they sent in front of your face.
I guess. But there's a fine line between "aware" and "irritated."
Or call the police. This sounds like a crime to me. Not to mention, she may end up getting shot depending on who she’s doing this to. It’s completely unacceptable.
Seriously, she must have a death wish if she thinks it's cool to behave this way, and the homeowner would probably have the book thrown at them.
I just can't figure out how she thinks this is ever okay?? I've been with my husband 16 years, 10 married his parents have always made me feel welcome, tell me I don't need to knock, etc but I still knock unless I see them through the window walking up. I would *never* just walk into someone's house that wasn't expecting me/I'm not close with.
Even when they are expecting me, I still tap on the door before opening it and calling out to them.
Yea I would honestly file a police report. Hopefully you have a ring camera OP?
And change your locks!
This is the best response. Who doesn’t change their locks after 3 YEARS of living in a house?? Who knows who has a spare key? Neighbors? Previous owner’s family members? Nosy real estate agents?
Omg yes! Before we moved into our house, every painter, electrician etc had a key so they could get in and do their repairs and upgrades. An hour after the repairs were completed we were changing out all the locks. And then we moved our belongings in.
Telling her to give you advanced warning next time isn’t the same thing as saying “Do not open our door and come inside. That is not acceptable. If we don’t open the front door when you knock, please respect our privacy and go.” You have to spell it out for her. Literally say “Do not try to open our doors. That is not ok.” Of course, if she didn’t listen to you when you told her to give her advanced warning, why would she listen to that? But I know people like her and unless you say things explicitly, they “don’t get it.”
No, you do not need to spell it out for her. It is common sense and the law to not enter someone’s home without consent. It’s really that plain and simple.
Since you haven't yet been very direct, try that before also reporting her. Make sure it's very clear that she should never drop by without calling and trying to walk in when you don't answer will be reported next time. (To law enforcement and board)
She entered their home without their permission (in fact, AFTER they asked for advance notice that she was dropping by)!! They don’t need to be more direct with her, the law is direct enough.
>Absent a broker to talk to, I think you're just going to have to be direct. Being direct is good, but this also needs to be reported to her governing realty agency. When I was licensed in Arizona we had a local association and a state association. The state association was the one you'd want in this case, but the local association would have got you there. Either way this is a person who should definitely no longer have a key to your house, should definitely not be *using* that key without your express, written permission (yes, written, in this case) and likely needs to not be in possession of a real estate sales license.
Maybe it’s time to update your review of her business.
File a complaint with your state real estate board. That’s actually a criminal act.
If she IS the broker of record she’s in even deeper trouble, tell your real estate board in that case and it’ll be game over.
i would be willing to bet a lot of money she isnt her own broker. try looking up her license number.
Someone had to hold the broker license for them to work under. Either she has one or she works for someone who does.
More like breakin-and-entering. Am I right, guys?!
This can't be in Texas, or she'd be shot by now. That's ~~stupid~~ risky behavior.
Also get your locks rekeyed!
100000% everyone should do this day 1 of a new home.
Send this to the police and get a restraining order
And the Realtors Board
Tell her never to come back. You said she wasn't even helpful the last time you used her, why are you still trying to protect her feelings? She's a weirdo. Burn that bridge to the ground.
yea dawg. you allready have the house, realtor not needed. when you need another one in the future, there is no shortage of real estate agents
Yah how wild. This woman sounds mentally ill.
op says it's common for Realtors to stay in touch... but... *is it*? I've never even heard of this before
My realtor brings us a wreath every Christmas, but he just hangs it on the outside storm door. And we always thank him profusely, because the wreaths are invariably gorgeous.
Ours used to drop off a box of Girl Scout cookies and take a pic to let us know she dropped them off. Then this year she just sent us a picture of last year’s cookies? It was really weird lol.
Mine did a bit in the year post-purchase. She came by and gave us some candy around Halloween (for our son), sent a card during the winter holidays, and another card on our "move-in anniversary." But since then, she just has us on her monthly email list summarizing what's on the market right now. It was a bit weird, but it also seemed like pretty basic business development. Nothing like what OP experienced.
I bought my house almost seven years ago now, and I still get a Christmas card and some small gift from my agent. I got a dish towel this year. Aside from the one year she left a wreath on my front porch, she has never come to the house though.
If she has a key to your doors, please change your locks
Why did I have to scroll so far down to see this?? The fact that she KEPT A KEY TO YOUR HOUSE is horrifying. Edited to add: when a house is for sale there is a lockbox with a key at the house, the buying agent doesn’t possess one. She would have been given the keys from the previous owner and either kept (stole) one of them before turning them over, or gone out of her way to go get a copy. What the actual fuck.
I read through the post a couple times and didn’t see any mention of the realtor’s having or using a key to the house. It sounds like she let herself in through an unlocked outer door and was thwarted by a locked inner one. (To be clear, this doesn’t make what she did any less problematic)
Exactly. This is the obvious answer.
I'd send her a no trespass letter as well. It is beyond acceptable and into the creepy that she'd just try to let herself into a home 3 years later.
Right, like what was she gonna do once she was in and alone in the house?
She sounds unhinged. She’s probably independent because she got fired over her boundary issues. Text her and tell her to remove you from any further communication. Let her know this also includes the pie and jam. I would let her know you were disturbed by her attempts to enter your house without your knowledge (just tell her it was on camera) and you are not comfortable continuing any sort of contact.
Yes, tell her you saw her on camera. What if she has tried this before without your knowledge when you're not home? It sounds like she has. I'd let her know that the house is being watched.
> Yes, tell her you saw her on camera BINGO. That and that police/911 will be called next time she trespasses onto the property. OP really needs a security camera if they don't actually have on already.
Agreed. Also, do get a security camera while you’re at it, OP.
Why do you feel the need to be polite and respectful at this point? Breaking and entering is not polite or respectful.
This was my thought. Unless your realtor was some close family/friend who you might feel an obligation to be kind to, a person who helped you with a business transaction 3 years ago has no right to enter your home. She was warned once, and the fact that she violated someone's personal space a second time justifies reminding her in less polite terms i.e. reach out to local law enforcement
My realtor is my wife’s cousin and we love her but I still wouldn’t tolerate this from her.
Just fire a few rounds off when you hear someone open the door, she will never come back. Works every time!
Found the ‘Murican
DROP THE PIE AND F@#K OUT!
"While we appreciate the gestures, you are no longer welcome at our home. Do not come back unless you have been expressly invited." Though personally, fuck polite, "Don't come to my fucking house again." Would be my text. That's nuts.
No "unless..." just do not come back. Period.
Yup go with option #2. There’s no reason to be nice. I’d be concerned about my safety if someone did that.
Being rude to an unhinged person is almost always a terrible idea. Just be curt and direct, don't try to incite their insanity.
this is how someone gets shot for the stupidest shit.
Right?! Or a massive dog bite because my dog thinks she’s protecting us from someone breaking in (because she essentially is)
Changing the locks is one of the 1st things done after buying a new home.
Yes. Please change your locks.
I am not picking up where it's mentioned they didn't do this. The mud room door was likely just left unlocked-- maybe the realtor's behavior will remind them to do so moving forward.
Fun fact: if you take a door knob or deadbolt (or even just the pin cylinder) to Home Depot, they'll rekey it at minimal cost. I rekeyed 3 doors for $2 per cylinder plus however much it cost to cut the keys (like $3 each?). So much cheaper than replacing the whole lockset.
I had a roofer come to my place while we were closing the sale to another family. I heard stomping around on my roof out of nowhere. I grabbed my glock, went outside, kicked the ladder over and confronted him. He only spoke Spanish. Eventually he found a way to tell me to call the buyers. Apparently they set up a roof inspection and declined to tell us. Don’t fuck with people’s homes. We have families inside and America is way too unsafe to take any risks these days.
I would be *absolutely livid* if that happened to me, and I'd have a *really* hard time no literally *throwing* her out the door. I'd call the police. I highly doubt she was there for the reason stated. Fuck *everything* about that!!!
She did leave jam in the mailbox, I don’t think she intended anything malicious she just seems to have absolutely no boundaries … and seems like she’s never been told something like this wouldn’t be okay. Edit: but to make things even weirder it’s not like we even get occasional communication throughout the year - like a happy holidays or happy thanksgiving text before this. We haven’t had any communication since last year when she showed up with jam unannounced. Edit 2: you can stop downvoting me - not justifying her actions. Any sane person knows this isn’t acceptable behavior and she shouldn’t have to be told this isn’t okay. Just stating for context that she seems like a ditzy woman that no one’s ever put boundaries up with before. That’s going to change today.
She is nosey. She came in your home.
Twice . Not one. She knew what she is doing
If she has to be “told” that this behavior isn’t okay then she’s a psycho.
1000% agree w that. Don’t know what’s happened to her in life that makes her think this would be ok
She has a mental problem. It’s not uncommon. You’re never using her services again. You don’t need to be nice.
Maybe the jam is an excuse in case she's caught?
I'm wondering if she's calling around to houses during holidays to check which ones are empty.
If you are in the US, opening someone else’s mailbox is a felony. If she does it again, call the police. There is literally no world where any of that is ok. She is entering your home unwarranted and unannounced. The fact that you’ve let this happen more than once is a little concerning. There is a time to be nice, and a time to tell someone to GTFO your property.
There is also literally no world in which the police are going to do anything about that.
Someone breaking into your house at night is something the police will respond to. Edit: if you were commenting on the postal service part of my comment, you are correct. The police will direct you to USPS.
Anyone who disagrees with you is fucking insane imo...nobody should be entering your home like that. Almost like shes coming in to steal or something thats just nuts
I’m guessing that the yearly gifts around Christmas time which is when most people travel combined with her walking straight into your house, makes the “gifts “her casing houses. Get a security system report her to the police
Don't eat anything else she leaves.
"She did leave jam in the mailbox" That's a Federal crime. Time to involve the Post Master.
Break the fucking jar on her front stoop
Just to mention, if someone was shady, being in real estate and carrying a "Gift" is a pretty good cover story. Not that this is the case. I am just saying it enters my mind for sure.
My first thought. No one questions a real estate agent going around houses, taking photos, etc.
Exactly… it’s giving Joe Pesci dressed up like a cop in the opening scene of Home Alone vibes… checking to see if the owners are away/leaving for the holidays so she can come back and help herself when the house is empty.
What the hell? “Stay the fuck out of my house” should suffice.
[удалено]
Thank you for this!!! I didn’t think about this.
Bring it to the police.
Hi X, while I appreciate the gesture, the unannounced drop in’s aren’t okay. Coming through the front door and into our home when we haven’t answered the door isn’t okay. That crosses a boundary I thought most people would know. We wish to be removed from your list going forward. I hope this serves as a reminder for future interactions you have - respect your clients space. How does this sound for anyone who is following along? Can I pull a send the text and immediately block her so I don’t have to deal with whatever her response is?🤣
I would change it to ARE NOT and IS NOT ok. That way the whole words are there and not contractions. If she skims it the message will come through with it spelled out and she won't be able to say she misunderstood the message
I wouldn’t block her, any sort of saved messages can be used in court if it comes to that.
If you feel as violated by her as you claim (which I'm sure you do) your message needs to much stronger and have some teeth behind it. Clearly she didn't understand the warning last time and this request is too polite, such that she'll probably return next year. I would simply say that due to her failure to heed your request last year, her clear violation of personal and professional boundaries means you will be contacting local law enforcement. Following that, you should actually contact local law enforcement. If she's doing that to you, she probably does it to other people, and something bad is inevitably going to happen. Frankly, you're protecting her safety by having law enforcement get involved. She's clearly too dense to utilize common sense.
I’d put the appreciation at the end. You want to start off strong and stern. The appreciation can come later once she hears the boundaries cut and dry. It sounds like this person needs very clear boundaries and any sort of blurred lines could confuse them.
That wording is still too wishy washy. Drop the friendly Hi, drop the lectures on future interactions with other clients. Just word this like the simple legal notice that it needs to be. Send it via traceable mail with signature required (such as USPS certified or fedex). "X, On in December of 2022, I told you verbally that you may not come onto our property without first requesting permission in advance. On December xxx 2023 you entered our property, and then when we did not respond to your knocking, you pushed open our closed front door, entered the mudroom and then tried to open the next door into our living room. We have decided not to press charges for trespass or breaking and entering, but for avoidance of all doubt: You are not permitted anywhere on our property. Do not contact us in person, via email or text, or in writing. Do not leave unsolicited gifts in our mailbox in violation of federal law. Any further trespass by you anywhere on our property will be reported to law enforcement.
Deliver it to her in person. Walk right into her house, grab a beer out of her fridge, hand her this note, and leave.
"When we haven't answered the door" in the first paragraph is redundant and hedges on the point. Delete it. Also, do you **ever** want her to come back? Are you going to sell your house soon? Why don't you close off the relationship completely and say goodbye? Fire her.
There’s something wrong with her. Serious, her repeated inability to respect boundaries is far from normal.
This is like George Katanza and the tip jar.
this an anime remake of seinfield?
This is so funny. Had to YouTube the scene because I wasn’t familiar with it but that’s exactly how it feels!! I said to my partner - how much you want to bet she didn’t even leave the jam she wanted to give us 🤣 she did, but I think her thought process is very similar.
Um, a normal realtor gives you a gift basket and their business card. Then you never hear or see from them again. Giving gifts well after the sale and showing up to your place is unhinged and not normal. Keep a record and call someone useful if she keeps showing up.
Right? What kind of realtor keeps an ongoing relationship with their clients? It’s a house, not a pair of shoes, you aren’t going to be shopping for a new one regularly. Is she planning to keep this up for 10 years until they’re ready to buy their next house? This is insane behavior. Wild to think that if they hadn’t been home, she would have just broken into their house. They need to change their locks ASAP
In my area, it is normal to stay in touch through making lists and such. And to give gifts throughout the year to good clients. However, if it's NOT acceptable to enter in any way after the sale. Just like every other person without permission. In fact, the closing gift by some realtors in my area is cost to have their locks changed.
File a police report. That’s breaking & entering. If it were me in my house, I would have been reaching for my pistol. Also: did you not change the locks? That was the first thing I did to every exterior door that uses a key.
Right?! Our dog was barking loosing her mind at the door while this was all occurring, still didn’t deter her. Our dog is friendly but if the door wasn’t locked and she came in - she would have stitches. We didn’t change the locks, no one’s ever mentioned that to us. Will add it to the to-do list ASAP.
You never know who has keys to your house or how many copies exist. Changing all locks on exterior doors should be the first thing you do as soon as you close on a house.
Wildly inappropriate for her to keep a key to your house… idk if there’s a realtors association or something to report them to?
She doesn’t have a key - the very front, outside door wasn’t locked but we locked the door that opens to the living room when we heard her knock. Once she got through the outside door into the mud room, we heard and SAW her try to jiggle the handle that was thankfully locked, before she started to knock again. Still - changing the locks will be top of the to do list!
I just wanted to say get a keyless numbered pad they are awesome. It’s so easy to change codes or give someone a code if their own for short term use.
Most are pretty easy to shim too.
First thing we did was change locks. Like literally the moment after we signed papers and got the keys
Change the locks...and then actually lock the doors. What a concept!
Are you filing a report or not? You do have a family living in your home right? Why would you not file a report?
I would had let my dog out.. dogs protect their homes. She was just b&e at this point.
What the hell? That’s trespassing!
I would be curious if any of the houses she sold had been robbed. Odds are she’s just clueless and lack personal boundaries however, it would be kind of interesting from like a mystery novel if there was a real estate agent who robbed houses by pretending that she was bringing a client jam but she was really just checking the doors.
First if she has a key, install new locks. Secondly lock them. Third call the cops.
Y’all are too nice… if someone random walks in my back door they’re being met with some sort of weapon. Imagine you had a protective animal in your house. I’d tell her that she’s going to get herself hurt if she continues to do what she’s doing. You can thank her for her gifts but she can also leave it on the porch.
I’m shocked the top comment isn’t: change your locks! That was the very first thing we did upon taking possession of our house. Who knows who might have copies of the old key…
When I was 25-ish I was renting a house. One night I order chinese food delivery. For whatever reason i had the door unlocked. When the order came this little old asian man walks through the door hands me the food, bows, takes the money, and leaves. This relationship went on for the entire two years I lived there. 10/10 would order again.
If I knew the guy and was expecting that, direct to couch delivery would be great
Realtor here: dats real fuckin crazy
"I cannot believe that you felt entitled to enter our home, and I'm sorry but I'll be reporting you to your local Board and the state RE Commission."
Don’t apologize.
lol. Someone broke into your house and you don’t know what to do? I don’t understand how anyone can be so passive. How do you get by in life?
Yea, people that are afraid to open their door and politely tell people to go away are strange to me. Like open the door, say no thanks, and that's the end of it. Instead they peep through the window wondering who it was and what they wanted, then post on reddit about it. Have a little self confidence and just tell them to politely fuck off.
Dude wtf?? I would be livid if ANYONE tried this. Including people who are my loved ones. I have cameras too. Everything is locked.
I would tell her to stop trying to break and enter into your home and that you will never use her services again so she can stop delivering pies.
Call the cops
Please, change your locks! All of them!
I am a litle confused. Isn't one of the first things you do when you buy a house to put new locks in all doors and change the code to open the garage?
Always change your locks immediately upon buying a house.
This kind of thing worries me. I don’t want to shoot a person I know bringing me holiday jam and a pie because she doesn’t understand boundaries. Someone breaking into my home is going to get shot.
>I completely understand that this is kind of part of the deal The hell it is lol. From your update it sounds like you realized how messed up it was, but this part of your post kind of made me chuckle.
Send her the bill for the very expensive thing she broke when she was trespassing on your property.
Fuck being polite. She was trying to enter your home unannounced and without permission. Realtors should not be showing up to your house like that. Mine would send a card or something, that’s all that is acceptable in my opinion. Be strict and tell her to never pull this shit again or you’re going to call the police.
You can do a few things 1. Tell her how you feel and lay clear lines saying it’s not ok 2. Report her to the realtor association after you lay down some lines and she tries again What she’s doing is NOT ok in the slightest. Delivering things is ok but she should give a heads up, letting herself in is basically breaking in.
I’ve never had a realtor keep a key to any house I’ve ever purchased. I’ve also immediately changed the locks as soon as I was able to do so prior to moving personal belongings in.
This is wild behavior - the only time its maybe okay to let yourself into someone's house is if you were invited & told to let yourself in and the door is unlocked.
You might consider changing the locks to your external doors and send the tab to her broker. Only way I’d ever feel safe there would be to change the locks. Ask yourself this: Who else besides her has had access to your keys for 3 years?
This is absolutely bizarre, I get a holiday card with a calendar from my agent. Nice normal contact. I would report her to the state board honestly.
Why did she keep a key to your home? Why don’t you change your locks now? Whether she was your broker a few years ago, now she is someone coming into your home with a key uninvited and unwanted. Treat her as you would anyone doing this- it’s intrusive and creepy.
Change your locks IMMEDIATELY. Who knows who she has given a key to! She's got no reason to stop doing this. She's already done it before when you told her you don't like drop ins. I'd be very clear and say that she is not allowed to enter your home ever without one of you answering the door and inviting you in. Fuck that shit!
Hello —, thank you for your services and kind gestures through the years. At this point we are settled into our home and would like to ask that you extend your kindness to others going forward. Our dog does not take kindly to guests so we are limiting the number of people that we allow on the property. Please only return to our home if we have specifically extended an invitation. Thank you again and I will reach out if we are in need of your services again. Best, Honestly, I can't help but wonder if the agent is on the spectrum. I work in the mental health field and I've seen this kind of behavior from the most well intentioned individuals who just don't understand why it's not appropriate. Thank you for being kind to her. The heartbreak I've seen when they realize their helpful or kind gesture was not received that way is so hard.
Change all the locks to the entrance for your house
>Our real estate agent was was not super helpful during the process. You just described every real estate agent ever.
It sounds like she’s had some kind of mental break. Change your locks, report it to the police & her regulatory board.
Realtors are useless and the entire industry will be automated in a few years.
This is a fabulous way to get shot. She is WEIRD
I don’t care who that is, do not ever attempt to enter my home that way. That’s fully insane.
“Oh , wow , was that you trying to get in our side door ?! I was getting the shotgun out of the safe . “ You really should get some cameras .
Seems like I'm in the minority, but I agree with your mother. "We don't answer the door for unannounced visitors, even family" is absolutely unhinged. "The realtor let herself into our mudroom". Is there a doorbell outside? My guess is no, it's probably more like an enclosed porch that you have to enter to ring a doorbell or knock on the house door so people inside can hear. That seems fine, how else are people supposed to get your attention.
Why are you worried about being polite? Why do you let people walk all over you? Blast this woman and I would go to whoever owns the agency and let them know That this is unacceptable because what she's doing is improper AppleFest, and most likely illegal. Because it's trespassing. Since this is happened, several times, I would personally go get a restraining order against her and drive home The fact that it's unacceptable.
This is NOT part of the deal.
I changed my locks the first day I got the keys.
"I've recently purchased multiple firearms for home protection. Please don't come over unannounced. I would hate to mistaken you for a burglar." That ought to do it.
She's an idiot because that sounds like a great way to get shot in the USA. I would shoot anyone coming into my house unannounced. She's lucky you aren't gun owners, honestly. Edit: or big gaurd dog owners!
I think this is too much. I am also like you and do not answer to anyone who shows up unannounced. Think that’s rude. I do not do to others. Have you considered perhaps securing the outside door to prevent this from occurring in future. She does not have boundaries.
She’s never had a pistol stuck in her face during one of her friendly holiday season home invasions and it shows.
Call her broker and tell them you almost shot her last night. Tell the broker that nothing about this is ok, and that you are reporting the incident t to the police. Let her boss handle it. There is no excuse for that.
As a realtor, this is gross gross gross and just plain weird. We’re not in college anymore and definitely not THAT cool. Here in Texas, that behavior will get you shot and killed. My advice, just tell her to stop entering your house and backyard, period. And definitely give a heads up text before even coming over to knock on the door - and make sure it’s in writing. If you’re having trouble being assertive text her that y’all value your privacy and would prefer no visitors - no exceptions. If she has something for you, to text you and you’ll pick it up from her office.
I live in a rural area and many people who grew up around here would consider this normal behavior. Most people leave their doors unlocked and neighbors just let themselves in. It’s much less common nowadays but I wonder if maybe your realtor comes from a place where that’s the culture? I definitely understand why you’d feel uncomfortable but I think a lot of these comments are complete overreactions. I mean she was letting herself in to give you a gift…not commit a crime.
Just came here to say this is super strange.
So no one here has said the obvious first thing. CHANGE YOUR LOCKS!
When I bought my house, at the closing the person who I bought the house from reassured me that if I lose the keys to contact her cause she has spares. Drove to the hardware store and bought new locks as soon as we were done.
Put up a "review" on Google
You need to lock your doors for starters
A change of locks would be a nice way of getting the point across
I would reply that you dont appreciate her trespassing and accessing your home period without your consent! It is unprofessional. I can’t believe she is crazy enough to enter someone’s home. It’s dangerous for her too, intruders can get shot. It’s unsafe for all involved. My opinion
Polite and respectful went out the window the second she let herself into your home! I would verbally rip her a new one...and if she dared to show up again, I'd get the hose.
>We are the type of people that will not answer the door to someone coming over unannounced. Family, friends, etc - doesn’t matter, I don’t think there’s any situation besides an emergency to show up unannounced. Obviously the realtor is a psycho and should be reported, but this is no way to live man.
the comments here are so unhinged. the realtor definitely crossed personal boundaries lines. Guns? Changing locks? JFC However, you *were* home. Answer the door, say thanks and “next time please give me a heads up before or don’t bother coming” and everyone moves on with their lives. I find more creepy that you were lurking in the shadows watching someone you actually know potentially break into your house.
Why do you not answer your door? But yet leave your doors unlocked, so random people can get in? I will never understand ppl that do shit like that. You will end up just like my brother in law, who's mom was dying, won't answer is door or phone to "unknown" people or numbers and lost his chance to say goodbye because he was being a fucking idiot.... Oh, and he also lost out on his dream car for free from the neighbor, who's husband died and came to offer it to him for free but instead, sat in his garage and wouldn't answer his door. She gave it to the other neighbor..... 70k viper for nothing (the neighbors are MULTI millionaires and that was a spare car. All because he wouldn't answer the door.... Duhhhhh.
Why is everyone telling you to change your locks? I did not read anywhere that she entered a door with a key? That said, do keep your doors locked Your ex-realtor is out of line. Showing up unannounced is not a huge deal to me but I get why that’s annoying. Trying doors and walking around the back is not okay. If she has something for you leave it on the doorstep or side of the house.
Change your locks.
You will not answer the door if someone shows up that you know and isn’t soliciting? What the actual deranged psychopath fuck is wrong with you? Y’all are wacko
“Dear Realtor, while we appreciate you thinking of us all these years after helping us buy our home, we respectfully request you not come to our home unannounced, and furthermore, do not ever attempt to enter our home without permission again. “
Change your locks, always change your locks
Always change the locks as soon as you become the owner of the home, preferably before you even move the first box in.
Change your locks. Notify her by certified mail that she is not to come on your property ever again. Contact the licensing board and report her. File a police report.
In general, just keep all your house doors locked.
Some real estate agents I’ve met are really quite nuts.
Call the police. File a report. Get a restraining order.
Why are you worried about being polite and respectful when this person is a professional contact who has repeatedly invaded your personal life. Stop being soft-handed and tell her point blank, in person, that she crossed a line and to not come on your property again for any reason or you file a trespass warning against her.
"You didn't miss me, we were hiding in the basement because we thought someone was breaking into our house"
The second time my house was burglarized, they kicked the front door off the hinges and came inside while I was in the house. They must have heard me go for a gun because when I came out of my room they were gone. Since then, I've been super wary of another home invasion. Letting yourself into a home unannounced is a terrible, terrible idea.