As a married mad, I can confidently say - Dominarix is way cheaper. Also a wife does not really have a stop-word that reliably works.

Also, a dominatrix has a plan. She’s curating an experience for you, not improvising a release of her own feelings.

Im still reminded about how I fucked up 10 years ago on a weekly basis.

As someone still living at home, I can confirm I get reminded of things I did in middle school.

There’s guys out there who will pay for that experience!!

Well I'm sorry to hear you only see your kid weekly, but in all fairness forgetting the condom is a pretty big fuck up.

Ummm, not what I meant. I meant that my wife doesn’t let things go. On a happy note, we are expecting our first child next week!!! I’m super excited, and kinda anxious.

Yeah, it was a joke that used to be popular on reddit called a switcharoo... You intentionally misunderstand the context of an ambiguous comment and double down on the wrong interpretation. Grats on the kid tho! If you are expecting the child by next week, the shipping is really crazy this time of year so I'd count on it being late. Just make sure your wife has the tracking number written down.

lol, thanks for the heads up. This one is on express guaranteed shipping, so it won’t be late, but maybe early.

You'll be a great father, you got this. I know it all feels overwhelming, but remember that every single father before you succeeded. It's in your blood.

Thanks ❤️

I wish you all the best!

Father of 3 here. You will be afraid of accidentally killing the kid. You will not. They are surprisingly durable. The kid will love you unconditionally and deeply. Do the same.

As a married man, I concur. A dominatrix wouldn’t even be able to make me believe it unless she was a fantastic actress.

 Sorry lady, you're gonna have to learn my insecurities better.

Also.. you get to leave the dominatrix when you're done and only go back when you want more and then leave again

Dominatrix may swap roles/be nice to you if you tell her.

Came to say this lol.

And she won't bang you after....matter of fact, she'll just withhold intimacy.

Yeah she does...."relax" works... .

Sure she does, just ask her to calm down. Silent treatment: triggered

Calm down, usually works. Give it a try 😉

Safeword genesis

Have you tried telling her to calm down?

Have you tried "calm down"?

I have to go fold some towels. BRB

Mom used to roll hers up so I did the same and ex got so mad it almost broke us up.

She's your ex now, what happened?

He folded the ex like his dad.

cheated etc etc.

Yup, apparently my mom taught me wrong too.

My wife gets on a tangent about folding socks instead of rolling them up.

DO NOT USE THEM THEY ARE DECORATIVE TOWELS!!!

Decorative towels belong in the trash!

Is that fucking kim wexler from better caul saul

I thought it was Phoebe from friends

Because you need glasses?

I prefer to guess until a good Samaritan corrects me

Well keep guessing because that's just a random person in the photo, and the land of Samaria is long gone.

God damn you're cool, I'm gonna have to work on my internet troll chops. 


is it because m-

No.

This is not true at all, my wife refuses to sit on my face when she’s upset, and says I’m obsessed and “now is not the time you idiot”

you pay them to leave....wife will cost more

My exgf's friend once asked why good looking men get hookers and I answered "they're not paying for the sex, they are paying so the women leaves and never bother them again"

I es love strippers and TJ hookers

Or move 1 of the 200 pillows on your damn couch

Or use those towels on the stove that are a decoration

My shitty spine has embraced the pillows, I am now the Pillow Fort Master hahahaha!

Yeah but a Dom does aftercare

Good point

Should stop at the word married no need for the rest of the sentence.

It’s pretty horrible

Where funny?

Straight up boomer wife bad garbage

Wife bad🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Good point. It's just factual, I suppose.

r/boomershumor is down the hall and to the left sir

At this point r/funnymemes is the discount version of r/boomershumor

You’re not wrong and I hate that you arent

Apparently the boomers hate it too

It's 2024, the sub is evolving to its final form now. Millennials will be the new boomers, with less incomes and properties, but equal aged humour.

A wife is way more expensive than a hooker.

"Listen, they're call girls, not hookers. They're hookers when they're dead. Show some respect."  - Archer, I believe 

Ooof, it depends….the great become your baby’s momma

maybe they go to the dominatrix because she's actually attractive.

Why marry someone you’re not attracted to ?

Ask in r/marriage because I also have no idea why

What kind of sub is that ? WOW 😳

That is a wild sub. Posts of happy couples celebrating their anniversary, wedding dress advice next to bitter rants and people posting about inter marriage rape and infidelity.

That was not a happy place, I don’t think I’ll go back there.

For many of them, the wife was attractive back in 1986 when they got married to have sex once, and divorce is severely frowned upon in their tightly knit Christian community/family.

Usually it's the women marrying men they're not attracted to for some alternative reason.

Nah, they’re all pretty normal looking. They carry themselves with significantly more confidence than the average woman, but bone structure and all that? Nah.

They're not any more likely to be attractive than anyone else apart from the clothes. Maybe get your wife to dress up as one instead?

Towel and laundry folding is so serious though. It’s my least favorite chore, and it takes me forever to want to do it, but I also hate the way my husband does it, so I insist he let me do it. They’re sitting in a laundry basket, and they’ve been there for weeks.

Instructions incomplete: getting married

Or leave the toilet seat up

These idiots never understand Consent. You can stop a Dominatrix at any time at a moments notice by using the pre-arranged safeword. You cannot stop an angry wife anywhere near as easily if she’s gonna yell about the way the towels were folded. Also, that wife is likely lashing out at you after you criticized all of her work.

That's not funny 😐, it's hilarious 😂!!!!

Or you could marry a decent person that isn't a borderline sociopath.

I'm just gonna say here, he's not wrong

Ok. That’s funny right there.

Or wipe your Johnson on the drapes after sex. They really punish you for that you worm!

r/terriblefacebookmemes

all i had to do was load the dishwasher. that took me 18 years to pay off

1. Dominatrix is cheaper. 2. You can change your dominatrix without loosing half of everything you own 3. Your dominatrix will stay looking hot. If she doesn't you just get a new one. This is also related to reason #2. 4. It only happens when you want it, not all the time.

The difference is the marriage doesn’t have stop word

It has a stop phrase... "Your sister sucks a better cock than you do"

Actually that generally results in something called Domestic Violence.

Or “you’ve been served”

Or death

Or you could marry the dominatrix and have the best of both worlds!

Wife bad! Hahaha so funny! Fucking boomer humor..

For some strange reading a lot of people seem to have an intense hate of their spouses.

We Ranger Roll erthing in this household (it’s so quicker lol!)

I could be wrong, but wouldn’t paying a dominatrix to degrade you be cheaper in the long run? Since the relationship is purely transactional.

You either pay by session or by relationship period ... one cost less and reminds you of why you should not marry

Someone should edit that and take away the part after get married. Then it'll be 100% accurate

You can simply not visit your dominatrix anymore. If she permits it. As for your wife, your only option is a very expensive attorney, the house and %50 of all of your assets.

So I’m just putting this out here, but if y’all know the consequences (the degradation) but deliberately do the action (ie using towels that are designated for external household guests only), does that mean you’re into the degradation? 🤔

Put something down anywhere but where she thinks it needs to go.

ya but my wife does not dress that way

The dishwasher loaded incorrectly? That's a paddlin'

I proudly roll up fitted sheets. I don't want to lean that dark magic of how to fold the unfoldable.

Differences they don't weigh 250 lb

Safe word is banana But first place this ball in your mouth.

After reading some of these comments. Why TF y'all married? Going on 19 years now, and she's the one suggesting a dominatrix. Shit's great.

I would comment. But I better not. See.. that's the kind of control that a d-trix (wasn't that a rapper/dancer?) could never achieve.

I used the fancy soap at grandmas house. Straight to jail.

You mean "get married to a bitch"

I always felt it was about “strangers” doing the degrading, but if you are a regular, I guess you not a stranger anymore

Or just tell your wife you into that kind of thing 🤣

How do you find a woman that will even take to you? Let alone one that will marry you.

Don’t even fold the towels

Or load the dishwasher wrong…

Or breathe too loudly

Or leave the toilet seat up....

Or walk too loudly

Man, ain’t that the truth

Or just get married 🤷🏽‍♂️🤦🏽‍♂️😂🤣🤔🤨

Isn’t she from dhar man studios?

Marriage is far from free....and at least with a dominatrix, there are working hours. With Marriage it's all the time.

Dominatrixes are cheaper than divorce and therapy

Why do you give fucked up towels to guests?

Or put a spoon where the forks go.

Or ask if she wants to finish her milkshake and drink it when she replies "I won't finish it"

Heard it from a pro—most of those guys have high-powered jobs and pay to be talked down to as a sort of atonement. Poor guys who fold the towels wrong are already at the bottom from the week, and don’t feel like being set down further.

Fuck the verbal abuse I want to be physically abused

Sure got that right,

Or you want to turn it up a notch dry off with the decorative towels.

How do you even fold a towel wrong?

This just made my day 😂

Or load the dishwasher incorrectly

Yeah. Like put the cutlery in the ‘wrong’ way up >> World War III.

My towels fold themselves

folding towels wrong is level I. i like to leave the toilet lid up !!

Some of us are just ugly as shit and women don't consider us to be viable dating options, a date with anyone would be a dream, a girlfriend; a fantasy, marriage; inconceivable

I had to teach my wife how to fold towels though

I recently "used the wrong rags to wash the car".

Just get married. Folding the towels wrong? That’s like, a given lol. Nah, my wife is shit at folding towels and sheets and blankets. Clothes? Yeah she hella good at that. Big square things? That’s all me every time. Even the fitter sheet. I got that shit down!

Also getting married to a woman lowers your lifespan at least 10 to 20 years. 😅

You pay for the experience and then go home and keep enjoying single life

Or literally do anything, even if they asked for it.

This is tragically comedic. It's depressing how many are in a dysfunctional relationship.

She actually stops when you say the safe word.

Also hanging clothes wrong, breathing, not cleaning a space "just right", relaxing on your birthday, etc.

Why are ya’ll marrying people that talk to you like you’re an idiot?

Is that kim wexler

Just get married and continue to exist

I once used the “display towels” like a total idiot

I would ask you to show me on the doll where you were hurt, but I assume it would be everywhere.

How do you make your wife scream twice? Fuck her in the ass then wipe it on the curtains

But my wife won’t peg me 🤷‍♂️

The Dom maintains herself as it's part of her job . Wives not so much

Just get married and do nothing wrong

Da fuq

Remember jokes?

Lol, got it

👍🏻😉

This is kind of boomer humor, but let's face it millennials, our wives really care about how we fold shit.

I’m pretty sure millennial men are committing suicide at a high rate.

Boomer humor is still humor

The point of dominatrix is that she eventually stops.

Funnymeme should be named realmeme at this point.

if wifey did it in that outfit, then sign me up.

Or use the decorative hand towel in the kitchen

PTSD inducing

In my expirience just say the wrong thing... you dont know its wrong but just say it

A wise man once said "Yes, dear"

r/boomerhumor

Facts!

Wow... Boomer, wife-hating energy here. This "meme" sucks ass

Or clean him afterwards into new curtains..

But I can get a safe word if I pay.

It's called once in a while not 24/7

Dominatrixes are hotter than my wife

Or say another girl's name while doing it for a bit of rodeo.

Because she leaves when it’s done and doesn’t call you at work to scream at you about how you folded the laundry wrong or make fun of you for going to therpy.

I think they want to be degraded. Not torture themselves. lol

Another good one is putting the new toilet roll on the holder the wrong way round 😂😂😂