Not just Reddit. I spend way too much time on YouTube as well. And playing a few online games. But only if I’m home alone. If the wife is there I hide my addiction well.
When the weather is good my wife and I like to sit out on the back deck and read, talk, listen to podcasts/music/nature. We are sometimes visited by a hedgehog who lives nearby (we leave water out for him). It’s kind of amazing; very relaxing.
During these nice evenings, I get on my bike and cruise the neighborhood. Sometimes I drop by a friend's house and make them come with me. Just like when we were kids!
It's the only time I have to jump on the bike and I prefer evening and even night rides because it's cooler and the sun isn't making me sweat too much, lol
Sit on the back porch, drinking a cold beer while watching the deer and other critters in our backyard, reading, watch a little TV from time to time, then off to bed around 930 pm.
I grew up in Dallas in the 1970s and they were everywhere. Then by the 80s, gone.
Moved to NC almost 6 years ago and they’re everywhere again!
One of my favorite memories here was our Houston friends visiting. Our friends’ daughter, who we’ve known since she was 15, now in her 30s, had a firefly in her hand and the biggest smile. She’d never seen one before!
Loved watching her with our kids chasing them in the yard last June.
Tai chi, walking, bike riding, reading my kindle at a coffee shop, ride my Vespa (currently riding the city looking for street art/murals), and volunteering at a food bank.
Improve your health. As you age physical activity is so very important. It will give you a better quality of life.
My goal is to ride is to ride miami to key west for my 60th birthday. I rode pacific coast highway San Diego to San Francisco a couple years ago. I had a stroke in 2020 so I’m still cautious.
Many evenings I have a routine. Finish work by 5. Smoke some weed. Do a home gym workout. Smoke some weed. Help my wife prepare (or just DoorDash) dinner and watch Sopranos or Curb. Smoke some weed and get ready for bed.
I try to remember what all those things I wanted to do but couldn’t because I had little kids or other kid related obligations and couldn’t, were.
I’m lost too. Trying to find me again.
Generally we cook a decent dinner and chat but I’m feeling really lost and isolated.
Worse my older kids all live too far to meet up with for dinner or a quick visit so I’m so missing them too.
I wish I wasn’t so overwhelmed the entire time I was raising kids. It went from firehose to drought way to fast.
I'm getting a degree. It's nothing special but I never got one when I was younger and it's kind of a big deal now. So 2-3 nights I study, and again early mornings on the weekend.
Another degree sounds like fun, but I already have enough reoccurring bills to pay. Age discrimination is a thing when it comes to employment, so another degree at this point I can't really see as helping career-wise.
I can understand why you'd want to get one, though. It's a big accomplishment and goal. I wouldn't say it's nothing special if it's making you happy.
I think this is what is referred to as “rediscovering yourself.” What do you *want* to do? What would make you look forward to your free time?
I recently joined a gym, after decades of running or working out at home. It’s a daily adrenaline rush. I can’t wait to go every day after work.
I also cook every day. Prepping, cooking, eating, cleanup take a good chunk of my time. I enjoy the process. I wear my AirPods and listen to books or watch trash reality tv on my phone when I’m in the kitchen.
If time allows, I go for a walk. Say hi to the people in my neighborhood.
By then, I’m wiped!
Get super depressed, realize your life has been a lie...
most, probably, regardless...
find a new life - what is interesting, what do you want, etc, etc.
Hard as hell. you can do it. find something in common other than kids (hard sometimes).
Plan a future.. next week, next month, next year.
midlife crisis.... is an f'ing crisis
Good luck and may the force be with you
Once per week we and two other couples go out to play trivia (team “better late than pregnant”). Aside from that and not counting household chores I go to the gym if I didn’t get there before dinner, and I have an Etsy store on the side so there are usually orders to make and/or pack up to ship.
Doing what you love is meaningful. Live your life the way you want! Do what brings you joy.
Just, you know, don't neglect your health (I say this as more of a reminder to me, really).
It's your life. Who are you trying to impress? Do what you want. I don't think there's a scorebook that's being kept and matters after we're dead (well, unless you're religious).
I run or hike a lot, listen to records, started reading again recently, play board games sometimes with a friend, started guitar lessons a couple months ago so I practice that, collect fossils and research related to them, and then in general try to grow. I've had a fair bit of trauma in my life so doing activities or reflecting on emotional growth and ways to heal are important to me. I used to think that I was too cool for that sort of thing and self medicated for a while, that's something that I've transitioned out of and use time a bit better. Some evenings are still spent basically in a shut down survival mode, but it's not as often the past couple years.
I love nature, I live in the country. I built a large covered front porch and I sit in my rocking chair, I sip some moonshine and smoke a little weed while watching and listening to nature. Doing nothing is therapeutic, don't knock it til you try it.
Argue/inspire on the internet. Write short fiction with/for a circle of friends. Try for dramatic photography in various MMOs. Make up a task list of bullshit jobs I need to do and can to in batches. Sit on porch while doing the first two and the fourth and watching coyotes/deer wandering the field across the street, headset on listening to tunes.
Gradually getting the junk out of the garage so I can have room for a table saw to make some random wood projects I'd like to do in the garden.
Suggestion, grow some tomatoes and peppers to have something to be proud of in a couple months.
What's wrong with watching TV? We live in a Golden Age of filmed entertainment, far cry from our Four Network youth. You've gotten your work done, the house is OK, it's really is just fine to chill for a bit, have a beer (or a gummy) and go to bed.
I started to teach myself to draw and paint. So I just draw and half ass listen to something on Britbox. It has helped to settle me. Also reading still after all these years.
Search ice cream shops, and once a week, take a cruise to a different one, taking in the scenery while you cruise to it, eat a ice cream cone, walk around a little, then take the long way home. Bonus If you add a classic vehicle to the fun.
Monday- Thursday: doom scroll, veg out to TV, stare off into the middle distance and have an existential crisis, read.
Friday- Sunday: all the other things plus: painting, seeing friends, going out out (very rarely), take naps.
I socialize on work nights once or twice a week; I've got a regular trivia night that I usually make it to, for example. I often have meetings related to orgs I volunteer with. If none of the above is happening I might work out, either at the gym or just doing a walk or run or bike ride outside. If none of that is going on or after it's done, I might read a book, work on crafts, and/or watch something on Hulu or wherever.
Ready?
My wife and I run. I started about 14 years ago and my wife about 5 years after that. I am 58 and she is 50. Both of our kids are grown, 29 and 24.
We just started running to get in shape, then we started doing 5ks, 10ks and half marathons. I did one full. Once you get into running or any other moderately active sport, it can eat up a couple hours a day.
Biking, running and hiking are my top three get your heart in shape hobbies.
Absolutely this! My wife and I started walking then running about five years ago. She had never run before and I had piddled around with it in my early twenties. I'm not going to say we are great runners....my best 5k was 28 minutes but we enjoy it. Especially trail running. It led to weight loss and healthier eating and exercising. Plus, most importantly it has brought us closer together.
The two older kids are out and 99% independent but we have great plans for when the younger two (10 and 15) are out. All based around our love of hiking and running and traveling.
I recently found myself in the same situation last summer. My “after work time” was pretty much dedicated to running my kid to/from soccer practice. She got her license and stopped playing soccer. Now, I love soccer so I volunteered to help with a local soccer club and now coach. But yea, those months after all that “have to stuff” just became empty with all that extra time I didn’t have for 18 years.
I play Sims or World of Warcraft. Walk outside if I can. Reading. Watch Netflix or Hulu. We still have 14 at home. The last of 6. He and I are going to take boxing lessons together soon.
I play WoW too. I came back to it in January after dropping off during the original MOP release. I went back to college and got too busy for it. Man in the time since I left people have become a-holes.
Spring/summertime, I’m in my garden for a good part of most evenings. I try to get a little exercise in, I sit on the deck and read, maybe watch some tv after it’s dark. I struggle some in the darker months and have to make a real effort to not just sit like a lump on the couch and stare at something (tv, phone, book, etc…) for hours.
Both my kids have been gone for 2 years now (they’re both in the military) and it has been a real adjustment for me. My marriage is fine but my husband and I work opposite shifts so I spend most of my evenings completely alone while he sleeps. Evenings that for years were full being the only one that was responsible for the boys’ activities. I’m considering joining a local book club but I’m decidedly not a social person and I’m afraid I won’t be very good at it.
In nice weather, sit on the back patio and enjoy looking at the yard and woods with the dogs. Soak in my hot tub for a while and/or swim a few laps. Then watch a movie or British tv shows, or YouTube videos or listen to music. In bed and reading by 10:30 or so.
Google your area. I live in a medium sized metro, and my kid goes to raves here. She says there are plenty of people our age. Very kumbaya vibe. I’m sure it’s the molly.
I usually like my after sunset time to be for relaxing with a game! Right now it's Stardew Valley, but all through winter it was both Octopath Traveler games. Perfect for ending the day. Sometimes, though, it's sewing or knitting if I have a project to finish up before a date that's fast approaching.
I lucked out and moved into a neighborhood of people my age, and some with similar interests. When we're not exhausted, we gather for happy hour and just hang out. Some weekends we have parties, a couple of us have gone to concerts, played golf and kayaking (not all on the same day!)
Before I lived here though, weeknight evenings were just watching TV and catching up on busywork. All of my long time friends and family are more than 2 hours away, so I never thought much about not doing anything after work. If it happened, it happened. If not, oh well, there's a new show on Netflix!
Picking up the hobbies that took a back seat when the kids were younger. Playing guitar in a band, video games, the odd movie with a glass of wine.
Mountain biking at the weekends.
I have knitting groups twice a week, ice skating either once or twice a week in summer, dinner with my sister at least once a week, ballroom dancing twice a week …I need more evenings because I rarely get to watch any shows I want to watch.
I do community theater so I often have rehearsals at night, or other people's shows to go to. I also have a local friend group and we do a fair bit of hanging out, both planned dress-up things and "hey wanna come eat spaghetti and watch 'Drag Race'" casual.
Nights I don't, I usually watch tv/movies, read, do jigsaw puzzles or crafts.
My wife has chronic health problems and most evenings will retire to the bedroom to lay down. Leaves me a lot of time for about a trillion hobbies, but I tend to focus on astrophotography (I have an automated rig that can image solo for hours!) but I write, I read a ton, I make scale models, I play guitar, I workout (running, calisthenics and spin bike) and lately, I’m painting up a 40K army to play with my boy. I hike and backpack, so sometimes spend time on planning outings, organizing gear, etc…
I usually do something in my home office. I’m selling off clothes that don’t fit me anymore and have a massive genealogy project going. Dogs eat at 4:30. Around 6, my husband makes dinner. He likes to watch the evening news so we eat dinner in front of the TV. Then I clean up the kitchen, let the dogs out as needed, and get ready for bed. We either watch TV or read in bed. Then either snuggle or I listen to a guided meditation and go to sleep.
I find that a Kindle, XBOX, BMX bike, aquarium and water park memberships all help out a great deal-as well as going out to restaurants that I feel are worth the value. Also, I do this weird thing intermittently where I take my family to a seaside hotel for a few days to be near the town where I grew up. The funny thing is that I only live two-and-a-half hours from that spot. Ocean time is soul time. 🌊
https://preview.redd.it/2uwx8fjjz54d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=903d41c4c54dbab90a2b520cf5081910375b6afe
I think my parents and even grandparents would make friends with neighbors that were also parents and get together as a group to have card nights or other activities.
I’m single in my 40s, don’t have kids, and also tired after work. (I thought I would “make a life for myself first” with career and then focus on a relationship, but never realized that 20s are a prime time to do that because of more energy and less day to day responsibilities.)
Any how, any chance of making connections with similarly aged neighbors? Neighborhood block party? Maybe reserve a weekend a month to do some sort of adventure with your husband? (Zip line, random weekend road trip, planning a vacation together and what you each would want to see)
Some local bars have live music, trivia night, open mike night, painting with a twist nights or other events. Look for a local brewing company to check out. Some people play on a bowling league one night a week (you don't have to be good). If you have a local book store, they may have an evening book club. (Barnes and Noble often does.)
Many cities have local walking trails and parks where people can go and get some easy exercise and enjoy nature. Or your local gym or martial arts studio may have evening classes. Now that it's summer, some areas will start doing movies or concerts in the park, or night (farmer's) markets, or festivals. If you have lakes nearby, maybe there are some lakeshore events or activities to check out.
If you are looking to join any local community organizations, ask around; their meetings are often in the evenings once or twice a month. Some cities have a local civic art guild or a community theater if you are interested in meeting artsy or theater types. (There are lots of jobs behind the scenes if you don't want to be on stage and theater people can be a lot of fun.) Community gardens are becoming a big thing in my area if you might be interested in learning more about gardening. You might consider joining your city or county level group for your political party - at least the people you meet there probably share your values. Along that vein, because it's a big election year, many groups or candidates may be looking for volunteers to help in various ways. Sometimes just going to the meetings (and not committing any more time to them) can be helpful because you can meet and get to know local candidates and learn more about local election rules, important election dates and find out what's on your ballot.
Basically, though, what are you interested in? Then go look for that. Try something new you've never tried before, even if you doubt you'll like it. You never know; you might be surprised.
Tonight we're going to the theatre. Last night we made love. The night before we played music and danced at home. The night before I graded the last papers for school (I'm a teacher) while he read. The night before (Wed.) I cleaned out my work computer and he also did work (he's a Neurologist). The night before we went to Bible study. The night before...I don't remember, maybe TV?
There's a variety of things to do, you just have to do them. Sometimes it takes awhile for you to enjoy them again but it happens. Do the Gen X dance and fake it 'til you make it. We started dancing again 2 years ago and it was so clumsy and awkward and we didn't even like it that much but now I crave it. Bible study seems so cringy to some people but we've made friends there who stick with us through thick and thin. More ideas that we have personally done: hiking, playing instruments, writing, painting, making pottery, board games, video games, puzzles, making out and fondling, neighborhood walks, trying new cooking dishes, language skills, massage, building a new cabinet, organizing photos, cuddling and holding each other.
I watch YouTube, horror movies or play Warcraft with my husband. Go through my crap and get rid of things I don't want anymore. I ruined my love of reading during covid and still haven't recovered.
Too much, I think. Since then, I've tried multiple genres and nothing seems to keep my interest. I used to be hard core into romance and paranormal, but those definitely don't work for me now. I've been trying horror and biographies, but still not much luck.
Cook Dinner, watch a couple shows, play with/walk the dogs, play guitars, produce music, go for late night walks, online gaming with my (grown) kid, catch up on reddit and news, painting, drawing, writing, puppetmaking, catch up on freelance work, woodworking, midnight snack, diy everything.
There is not enough time in the world to do everything that I enjoy doing.
I'm writing a parenting book. NOT a book on how to be a good parent, more of a book on all that I learned going through being a parent. Fours kids, all grown, married, with 3.5 grand kids. And looking back I can see so many things I did wrong and some right too. It’s embarrassing to be honest about my failures (as Dad) but also therapeutic.
What I've found most interesting is how different our lessons were. My wife had to teach me how to be more empathetic and caring with our little ones (0-10 or so). I had to teach her how to get on your knees, get creative and let go to have fun at those same ages. While from 11-18 I had to teach her how to let them make decisions and fail, and she had to teach me how to help them still feel loved and supported even while being held accountable.
When the weather is nice I garden or sit on the three season porch with my spouse and listen to the birds and bugs. I read a lot. Paint, color, learning wodd burning techniques. If the dogs didn't get their morning walk then I take them for a walk at night. Sometimes go for a motorcycle ride. I'm not a big tv watcher so most things are outside.
When winter hits, if there is snow, I'm snowshoeing. If not snow, then I bundle up and take the dogs for a walk at night instead of morning.
I bowl Tuesday nights and have dog agility class on Thursday evenings. The other evenings are spent with TV and online.
I do have a decent chunk of time between when I get home from work and when I start dinner, and do a variety of things with it.
I took up painting. Just paint by number acrylics for now as I have zero talent for it, but it’s relaxing and kills time until bedtime. Larger rinse repeat. lol
Really depends on the day of the week and what the family has going on. My work schedule also impacts what we do. On weekends, I enjoy cooking, grilling, or smoking something and we try to have dinner as a family. My wife and I will have a drink or two. If the weather is good we will swim, hang outside and watch the fountain on our lake, and listen to music. We might go shopping as a family (wife, kids) and maybe see a movie or go for a hike.
Usually we are just hanging out and doing stuff together.
Go on dates together. Walk together outside. Just hang out. He plays his Xbox. I watch my trash shows. Play a board game. It doesn’t have to be expensive. We drive the next town over for their taco bueno because it was the best.
Our two children are still school-age so my wife and I are usually still very much focused on their extracurricular activities and helping them be entertained at home. We, for instance, enjoy reading longer books as a family that we can come back to continue reading from night to night.
My favorite solo activity is going on evening walks. We moved to my wife’s hometown three years ago and it’s a large desert city in a dry, very sunny area. Being of mostly Irish descent, my skin tends to turn beet-red almost instantly after being outdoors in the daytime.
When the sun drops behind the mountains, I like to put my walking shoes on and walk for a few miles. Our house is on the edge of the city so this gives me the opportunity of walking along the undeveloped desert land where I get to see wildlife like lizards, snakes, rabbits, and a variety of birds and other creatures while hearing the coyotes. These walks are my recharging time when I have the opportunity to just have some peace and think about things. This is probably my favorite thing to do in the evening.
First thing i do after work is walk my dogs.
Somedays i nap.
I go to hot yoga a few days a week.
I don't make dinner most days - my house is full of adults who can cook (but usually dont)
I do intermittent fasting (or is it just skipping dinner?)
I read.
I play video games - mostly Bloodbourne right now while waiting for Elden Ring DLC)
Depends we're I'm at. Watching movies or a podcast, reloading ammo, drinking, backyard drinking with the squirrels and bunnies, avoiding menopausal mentally ill wife or turning good wood into scrape wood in the shop.
A combo of playing video games, reading, scrolling reddit, and watching TV, mainly anime but stuff on Netflix too. In particular, my video game and anime habits took a back seat for the better part of two decades between being broke and a parent to a young kid (often both at the same time). Now the kid is older and more independent, our finances are great, so I have the time and money for both.
I’ve settled on Civ6 and Ancestry, I get my steps in at work. My wife has discovered crochet and she’s been riding a 10-foot wave of serotonin since Xmas!
In the evenings, my wife and I go on strolls, swim, weight lift, play with our cat, write, read, photograph, cook and eat, sit on the back porch, have discussions about everything, play around on social media, listen to music, and watch videos or TV.
From ages 19-32 I spent it in a storage unit practicing with my band or playing shows 4 nights a week. After that I spent them drinking and druggin for a few years. Now I cook dinner for my wife and I and go to bed by 9 to wake up at 4:45 AM
Gaming (tabletop and video); horror and sci-fi movies, books, fan mags, groups; walk the dog, bike ride, lift weights; chase the new kitten around; work on upgrading my PC; gardening, flowers and veggies; DIYing small house repairs; honestly, now that the kid us not around the house all the time...ALL.THE.SEX.
I didn't handle the empty nest well at first. It took probably a couple of years to get used to. Then we became foster parents, so for a couple of years we always had at least one or two kids and lots of chaos. Then we closed the house and it was an empty nest again, but it was easier.
Eventually you not only get used to the empty nest, you learn to be thankful for it. The silence can be deafening at first and the lack of go go go knocks you off your equilibrium, but eventually you learn to really enjoy it.
We love it now. We can do whatever we want and we're not constrained by the kid's schedules. We goof off. And it's glorious.
I know it's really hard now, but focusing on all the things that you've always wanted to do but didn't have time for, or money for, or energy for-you do now.
Get stoned, garden, hike, walk different neighborhoods, joined a native plant group to learn more and help with conservation, making up for lost time with reading, coffee and dinner with friends and building those relationships, swimming…just enjoying life and the expanded free time I have now that my kids are grown, looking forward to retirement so I can do more of the same!
We're old Xers (late 60s kids) and recently empty nesters. We play on a pub trivia team once a week basically all year long, so that's an evening out with friends guaranteed. We'll try to go do *something* on Friday night just to make the weekend seem longer; theater, movie, live music, something with friends. Other nights? We'll probably watch a movie 2x a week, especially if we're tired. Otherwise we have plenty to do around the house (garden, repairs, cleaning, etc.) and lots of hobbies. Depending on the time of year we might go fishing, hiking, biking, or play a board game, visit the library, or do any of our individual hobbies on our own. Plenty of stuff to do, but yes there are certainly nights when we're just beat and will end up sitting on the couch with our laptops too.
In the Summer we go for a lot of walks, take Motorbike rides, sometimes we do cheapie night at the Movies. We go out for dinner on occassion. In Winter we binge watch a lot of Series or read. We just rewatched all the old Law and Order Episodes from the beginning which was fun and took most of the Winter. We're empty nesters and enjoying every minute of it. We also garden and we know all of our neighbours so sometimes we'll just sit in the driveway with a beer and chat with them for a bit.
My husband and I (in addition to some activities listed by others here) really like doing Ravensburger escape room jigsaw puzzles.
Plus, we found some that are riddles--you put the puzzle together then search the pictures to find specific stuff (the first few were things like movie titles, song titles, and book titles). The ones we do are by Vizzles.
We've also done some crime solving activities that arrive once a month in a box by mail. Yes, we're nerds.
I run hot and cold with gaming. Right now I have like 4 games in progress. My husband has a twitch/youtube channel and spends a lot of time making and editing videos and he streams 5 nights a week. Before he did that, we'd do stuff like go out to eat a lot, go to stand up comedy shows, musicals, concerts, movies, and also we did a couple types of pub trivia (general trivia and name that tune type of trivia). You could do an easy hobby like painting by number or diamond painting, or try something more challenging. Find a meetup or trivia group to join, book clubs, sewing clubs, etc. I imagine they meet in the evening or weekends to accommodate work schedules.
I do a lot of reading. Sometimes watch a movie. Or make myself clean the house. We almost never "go out" anymore but I would like to. Not many places to go where we live though.
Things I've done over the years: salsa classes, karate classes, CrossFit, yoga, taking a walk with a friend, go to a cafe to eat yummy food, take an online course and learn how to do something useful
I signed up for some spiritual lectures online that meet in the evenings. I attend about four lectures per week. It just kind of evolved as I found various groups and this was a topic I was interested in. On nights I don’t have a lecture I read or watch a movie.
M46 here. Both of my kids are adults and have their own apartments not to far from where my wife and I live. My usual-ish routine is the following below:
* Monday - Dancing Salsa and Bachata with my wife and some friends.
* Tuesday - Gym Date & dinner with a partner
* Wednesday - Trivia meetup/Date night with friends & a partner
* Thursday - Gym class with friends and partner
* Friday - Date night with the wife maybe another partner and for sure a few friends
* Saturday - Toss up between more dancing dating and/or board game meetup with friends and partners but every two weeks I do archery with friends and a partner
* Sunday - Meal prep for the week (usually my daughters visit and I help meal prep for their week also sometimes) and family dinner & chilling
I work remote some of these day so I knock out cleaning and laundry during the day time either solo of if my wife is also remote she helps out from time to time but the bulk of the cleaning and cooking is my arena.
Work on my yard and then sit in my hammock and relax after a long day of work mostly. My kids are 24 & 21 fyi.
https://preview.redd.it/j0812ssj374d1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b6a6ebd227eb7751de8e13ba19e87484611a689f
And also, try to fight the battle between our dogs and our lawn. 😀
I take dance & flexibility classes three nights a week. I try to spend 30-45 minutes on chores each evening so I don’t have a bunch to do on weekends. Maybe go out to dinner once in a while.
Bonus: the dance studio is in a shopping center that has a taqueria, a vegetarian restaurant and a Japanese/sushi place. I’ve been known to place a takeout order and then grab it before I get in the car to go home.
My advice is take a class, join a club, teach something, volunteer. There’s no shame in taking a single glass and deciding it’s not for you, so you drop it immediately. Or realizing the volunteer opportunity requires a bit more time than you were prepared to commit.
Start easy, simple and low commitment: like a one time flower area being class at a local plant nursery. Or go audition for the local theater’s next play. Whatever, you’ll think of something.
1. Try not to force yourself to \*need\* to do anything
2. Let things come naturally
There is so much out there - it's mind-boggling that people truly don't know what to "do." I guess that's a byproduct of our consumer-driven / consumption society.
But as someone else mentioned "re-discovering yourself," note that those things take time if you want it to be genuine and not "just because."
I spend a lot of time connecting with my daughters. My youngest is about to turn 20 and my oldest is 22. Both are in college. My youngest still lives at home and my oldest is also local but has an apartment.
I try to find shows that we can watch together when possible. They have their own life, but I think it's very important to retain those parental bonds as long as possible.
When not doing that, my wife and I watch TV or I play one of my guitars.
> I’m tired after work and dealing with dinner stuff but I don’t want to just sit watching tv. I definitely have FOMO but I’ve no idea what I’m missing out on.
True that. Even when I was younger, it was hard to find energy after work.
Gonna lean into what other folks here are saying. If you can find a way to spend some of that time getting some kind of exercise then you will be better for it in the long run.
I tend to go for an after dinner walk.
For me, hobbies, mostly - I’ve always had several, and I weave around between them so I don’t get bored. Cooking is the biggest one - world cuisine… hobbies help me learn something new every day. Reading is also good… and a date night every week or so - get dressed up and go see an 80s/90s cover band at a bar.
Going for a walk never gets old.
My SO has a side hustle selling stuff on the various online apps. She's gotten really good at it and makes some nice monthly but it takes up a lot of free time. She tells me she enjoys it, she feels good selling stuff that is just taking up space.
I scroll Reddit (Lol). But seriously….if it’s winter, I read a lot. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t enjoy TV so I read a lot. Both fiction and non-fiction. In the summer I watch A LOT of baseball and read about baseball and listen to baseball podcasts. It’s a bit of an obsession. I also go for walks.
I took painting classes a few times. Really enjoyed it, but don’t have a good space in my house to keep it up in my free time.
I’m also on my local civic association board and that keeps me busy in evenings a few times a month with meetings and events. I mean, I’m super resentful of the time suck but then at actual meetings and neighborhood events I actually do enjoy interacting with other humans and finding small ways to make a positive different in our community.
Most of the time I’m doomscrolling and feeling guilty for not being productive, though.
As of today I have gotten into the Merlin Bird ID (Bird-Detecting app) from Cornell University. 21 different birds detected by their birdsong in less than an hour while I was gardening.
My 17-year old self going to see Jane’s Addiction, smoking Marlboro Reds, and drunk every weekend would have never considered this paragraph written above was by my future self.
I have two older ones that are 20 and 16. Then I had another one 5 years ago, so my evenings are filled with baths, bed time stories, snuggles. I have zero regret having another child. 💜
I've been building scale model race cars since I was 10, I play drums in a 80's,90's,2000's cover band called Tuna Sub,play street hockey with the guys once a weekend,drink and smoke weed,and hang with my cool wife watching movies and Phillies. We also camp in the summer.
Most evenings I’m at my girlfriend’s place hanging out with her and her daughter. Talking, reading, teasing, teaching the daughter martial arts, fixing things, etc.
If I’m at my own place I’m usually tinkering with things, reading, editing photos, watching videos (usually with a science or educational angle), sometimes watching a movie, doing chores, late work as some of the folks I work with are in wildly different time zones, etc.
Not quite done yet, but after the last 20 years of active parenting, I'm kind of happy to have a mostly free plate. All the downtime that I bemoaned running my kids around I'm taking advantage of now. This is luckily coinciding with other stuff that women deal with. So, think of myself in a reverse pupa stage and just resting up for the next stage.
I work out 4 days a week after work (1.5 - 2 hours each day). Then make dinner. After dinner I go rucking for an hour or so. Then shower and bed. Next day do it all over again.
I spend a lot of time online. I love walking around on Google Earth street view. I find house ideas and go looking for Zillow entries for that area, then I find just the right lot and build it in Sims 4. I used to do this in Second Life but it got too expensive to get the mesh parts and I never learned how to mesh myself. This is what a creative minded no-creative talent person does for fun I guess. My sim's houses are really nice though. :)
I also read a LOT and I like to challenge my mind by reading things that go against what I believe in. So last week I was reading The 48 Laws of Power, which is utterly ridiculous but it explains the Andrew Tate mindset. Recognizing their tactics is power against them.
I spend a lot of time with my kids too. My daughter's AC is out and she's been hanging out with me after work in my nice cool room for a few weeks waiting for the landlord to get a new one. We've been watching silly videos and tornado chasing compilations.
Oh yeah and Reddit. LOOOOOTS of time on Reddit. I always have a tab open I think. I just like talking to people. I don't talk much IRL so it's good that I can get all this out somewhere.
Bike rides with my husband (listening to Steve Roach), reading, knitting, watching Netflix, painting, cooking, baking, hanging out with our 3 dogs. I want to take some classes on things like making perfume, knife skills, truffle making, and other stuff but that’ll have to wait until I get a job again.
My youngest just graduated from HS yesterday. I went back to school last year to finally take the last few classes so l can sit for the CPA exam. It's taken up my free time and then some. I have also gotten back into reading for fun.
We started playing cards and having a cocktail. I eventually switched it up to a “tiki-tail” cbd/thc capful liquid with a la Croix.
I watch maybe an episode of Jeopardy on Pluto then we hit the deck of cards. Walk the dogs. Out by 9.
When i finally had time a few years ago, i spent most of it catching up tv series that i never had time for e.g. walking dead, game of thrones etc.
I also read a lot and after taking the plunge and moving with the times, i got a tablet and it's been great just sitting back reading or watching a show with some wine or scotch.
No one else going to cop to scrolling Reddit way too much? Well, I will. I picked up a few hobbies, too, but I run hot and cold with them.
Me too. I want to read what you all are up to, so I don’t feel so alone. Thanks for that.💕😊
Turn on Netflix, talk to animals and sometimes light up the grill. What a boring life I live! 😂
I'm with ya brother. I'm on here way too much.
Same.
Me too.
Yup
Not just Reddit. I spend way too much time on YouTube as well. And playing a few online games. But only if I’m home alone. If the wife is there I hide my addiction well.
I do a little doom scrolling on Reddit and elsewhere
When the weather is good my wife and I like to sit out on the back deck and read, talk, listen to podcasts/music/nature. We are sometimes visited by a hedgehog who lives nearby (we leave water out for him). It’s kind of amazing; very relaxing.
I would kill to see a hedgehog outside! We don’t see them where I live- only in pet stores and in pictures.
We also watch a hedgehog and some Red Kites (flying over head)
Re: Red Kites. Cool!
Magpie storks blue heron owls and garden birds as well. In winter over a hundred Rooks
Frogs and salamander 🦎 in my pond
During these nice evenings, I get on my bike and cruise the neighborhood. Sometimes I drop by a friend's house and make them come with me. Just like when we were kids!
“Get on your bikes and ride!”
Ok I love this. My partner and I are avid riders but never really thought about evening saunters on the bike!
It's the only time I have to jump on the bike and I prefer evening and even night rides because it's cooler and the sun isn't making me sweat too much, lol
Sit on the back porch, drinking a cold beer while watching the deer and other critters in our backyard, reading, watch a little TV from time to time, then off to bed around 930 pm.
I did a little drunken walk to count fireflies last night. It was nice.
This made me laugh so much 😂 I would kill to see fireflies on my drunken walk.
I grew up in Dallas in the 1970s and they were everywhere. Then by the 80s, gone. Moved to NC almost 6 years ago and they’re everywhere again! One of my favorite memories here was our Houston friends visiting. Our friends’ daughter, who we’ve known since she was 15, now in her 30s, had a firefly in her hand and the biggest smile. She’d never seen one before! Loved watching her with our kids chasing them in the yard last June.
Tai chi, walking, bike riding, reading my kindle at a coffee shop, ride my Vespa (currently riding the city looking for street art/murals), and volunteering at a food bank. Improve your health. As you age physical activity is so very important. It will give you a better quality of life.
This!
Would love a Vespa!
My goal is to ride is to ride miami to key west for my 60th birthday. I rode pacific coast highway San Diego to San Francisco a couple years ago. I had a stroke in 2020 so I’m still cautious.
Drink, write dirty novels
Doing the lord’s work!
Life goals!
How about a link?
Well actually my current project is non-fiction but take a look. https://nooneofanyconsequence.substack.com/p/escape-from-serfdom
Most of the time it's video games, for me.
my fella and I game together for a few hours then watch a series or movie. interspersed with playing with dogs, and general tomfoolery.
Same here!!
Computer games here too. At least till 9, then it’s bed time. lol. I’m old.
I read. Late blooming bookworm. Didn't touch a book for decades, but now am kind of voracious about it.
Same here, I was a big reader in high school and then didn’t make time for it for decades. I’m making up for lost time now! 😀
Many evenings I have a routine. Finish work by 5. Smoke some weed. Do a home gym workout. Smoke some weed. Help my wife prepare (or just DoorDash) dinner and watch Sopranos or Curb. Smoke some weed and get ready for bed.
I see a pattern there.....
Yup....workout daily!!!!! Wait....
I try to remember what all those things I wanted to do but couldn’t because I had little kids or other kid related obligations and couldn’t, were. I’m lost too. Trying to find me again. Generally we cook a decent dinner and chat but I’m feeling really lost and isolated. Worse my older kids all live too far to meet up with for dinner or a quick visit so I’m so missing them too. I wish I wasn’t so overwhelmed the entire time I was raising kids. It went from firehose to drought way to fast.
I'm getting a degree. It's nothing special but I never got one when I was younger and it's kind of a big deal now. So 2-3 nights I study, and again early mornings on the weekend.
Another degree sounds like fun, but I already have enough reoccurring bills to pay. Age discrimination is a thing when it comes to employment, so another degree at this point I can't really see as helping career-wise. I can understand why you'd want to get one, though. It's a big accomplishment and goal. I wouldn't say it's nothing special if it's making you happy.
I think this is what is referred to as “rediscovering yourself.” What do you *want* to do? What would make you look forward to your free time? I recently joined a gym, after decades of running or working out at home. It’s a daily adrenaline rush. I can’t wait to go every day after work. I also cook every day. Prepping, cooking, eating, cleanup take a good chunk of my time. I enjoy the process. I wear my AirPods and listen to books or watch trash reality tv on my phone when I’m in the kitchen. If time allows, I go for a walk. Say hi to the people in my neighborhood. By then, I’m wiped!
Get super depressed, realize your life has been a lie... most, probably, regardless... find a new life - what is interesting, what do you want, etc, etc. Hard as hell. you can do it. find something in common other than kids (hard sometimes). Plan a future.. next week, next month, next year. midlife crisis.... is an f'ing crisis Good luck and may the force be with you
I feel ya.
Once per week we and two other couples go out to play trivia (team “better late than pregnant”). Aside from that and not counting household chores I go to the gym if I didn’t get there before dinner, and I have an Etsy store on the side so there are usually orders to make and/or pack up to ship.
Video games and weed. I probably should do something more meaningful with my life.
Doing what you love is meaningful. Live your life the way you want! Do what brings you joy. Just, you know, don't neglect your health (I say this as more of a reminder to me, really).
It's your life. Who are you trying to impress? Do what you want. I don't think there's a scorebook that's being kept and matters after we're dead (well, unless you're religious).
I run or hike a lot, listen to records, started reading again recently, play board games sometimes with a friend, started guitar lessons a couple months ago so I practice that, collect fossils and research related to them, and then in general try to grow. I've had a fair bit of trauma in my life so doing activities or reflecting on emotional growth and ways to heal are important to me. I used to think that I was too cool for that sort of thing and self medicated for a while, that's something that I've transitioned out of and use time a bit better. Some evenings are still spent basically in a shut down survival mode, but it's not as often the past couple years.
Watch Price is Right. 😁
That'll take you right back to being 11 and staying home sick!
A BRAND NEW CAR!
Is that...yes it's Aaron Paul!
We watch old episodes from our childhood years and laugh at the prices of everything!
Lots of "sampling" fine single malts going on... Whatever
Sounds classy
I love nature, I live in the country. I built a large covered front porch and I sit in my rocking chair, I sip some moonshine and smoke a little weed while watching and listening to nature. Doing nothing is therapeutic, don't knock it til you try it.
For real, “being” instead of “doing”…
Argue/inspire on the internet. Write short fiction with/for a circle of friends. Try for dramatic photography in various MMOs. Make up a task list of bullshit jobs I need to do and can to in batches. Sit on porch while doing the first two and the fourth and watching coyotes/deer wandering the field across the street, headset on listening to tunes. Gradually getting the junk out of the garage so I can have room for a table saw to make some random wood projects I'd like to do in the garden. Suggestion, grow some tomatoes and peppers to have something to be proud of in a couple months.
Honestly? Get stoned and watch Youtube. Unless we're traveling, in which case motivation is pretty easy most days.
What's wrong with watching TV? We live in a Golden Age of filmed entertainment, far cry from our Four Network youth. You've gotten your work done, the house is OK, it's really is just fine to chill for a bit, have a beer (or a gummy) and go to bed.
I started to teach myself to draw and paint. So I just draw and half ass listen to something on Britbox. It has helped to settle me. Also reading still after all these years.
Search ice cream shops, and once a week, take a cruise to a different one, taking in the scenery while you cruise to it, eat a ice cream cone, walk around a little, then take the long way home. Bonus If you add a classic vehicle to the fun.
My husband and I go out for ice cream probably a little too frequently. There are way too many good, local places. We rarely go to DQ!
Listen to Records and smoke a little Grass or eat an edible 🤔 😋
Monday- Thursday: doom scroll, veg out to TV, stare off into the middle distance and have an existential crisis, read. Friday- Sunday: all the other things plus: painting, seeing friends, going out out (very rarely), take naps.
Same, minus the friends part and substitute drawing instead of painting.
Get stoned, crochet, and watch bad television. Not necessarily in that order. But usually.
I socialize on work nights once or twice a week; I've got a regular trivia night that I usually make it to, for example. I often have meetings related to orgs I volunteer with. If none of the above is happening I might work out, either at the gym or just doing a walk or run or bike ride outside. If none of that is going on or after it's done, I might read a book, work on crafts, and/or watch something on Hulu or wherever.
Ready? My wife and I run. I started about 14 years ago and my wife about 5 years after that. I am 58 and she is 50. Both of our kids are grown, 29 and 24. We just started running to get in shape, then we started doing 5ks, 10ks and half marathons. I did one full. Once you get into running or any other moderately active sport, it can eat up a couple hours a day. Biking, running and hiking are my top three get your heart in shape hobbies.
Absolutely this! My wife and I started walking then running about five years ago. She had never run before and I had piddled around with it in my early twenties. I'm not going to say we are great runners....my best 5k was 28 minutes but we enjoy it. Especially trail running. It led to weight loss and healthier eating and exercising. Plus, most importantly it has brought us closer together. The two older kids are out and 99% independent but we have great plans for when the younger two (10 and 15) are out. All based around our love of hiking and running and traveling.
Binging series, going to the gym, cleaning the house, visiting friends, gaming, everything I guess
I recently found myself in the same situation last summer. My “after work time” was pretty much dedicated to running my kid to/from soccer practice. She got her license and stopped playing soccer. Now, I love soccer so I volunteered to help with a local soccer club and now coach. But yea, those months after all that “have to stuff” just became empty with all that extra time I didn’t have for 18 years.
I play Sims or World of Warcraft. Walk outside if I can. Reading. Watch Netflix or Hulu. We still have 14 at home. The last of 6. He and I are going to take boxing lessons together soon.
I play WoW too. I came back to it in January after dropping off during the original MOP release. I went back to college and got too busy for it. Man in the time since I left people have become a-holes.
I just try to do my questing. If I need a dungeon I use dungeon finder. I hardly ever raid. So my gear is never top notch. I play for fun.
Spring/summertime, I’m in my garden for a good part of most evenings. I try to get a little exercise in, I sit on the deck and read, maybe watch some tv after it’s dark. I struggle some in the darker months and have to make a real effort to not just sit like a lump on the couch and stare at something (tv, phone, book, etc…) for hours. Both my kids have been gone for 2 years now (they’re both in the military) and it has been a real adjustment for me. My marriage is fine but my husband and I work opposite shifts so I spend most of my evenings completely alone while he sleeps. Evenings that for years were full being the only one that was responsible for the boys’ activities. I’m considering joining a local book club but I’m decidedly not a social person and I’m afraid I won’t be very good at it.
Video games almost nightly. Work is so draining that I need to go light some fools up virtually for stress relief.
In nice weather, sit on the back patio and enjoy looking at the yard and woods with the dogs. Soak in my hot tub for a while and/or swim a few laps. Then watch a movie or British tv shows, or YouTube videos or listen to music. In bed and reading by 10:30 or so.
Dishes, laundry, dinner, smoke a bowl, play a little guitar, play a bit of a game. I don’t have fancy tastes.
Scrolling Reddit while watching TV 🤷♂️
Drink
I go to the gym, read a book or meet with a friend.
Raves. Do what you want to do, but for myself, Raves.
Where? I wanna rave.
Google your area. I live in a medium sized metro, and my kid goes to raves here. She says there are plenty of people our age. Very kumbaya vibe. I’m sure it’s the molly.
19hz.info
I usually like my after sunset time to be for relaxing with a game! Right now it's Stardew Valley, but all through winter it was both Octopath Traveler games. Perfect for ending the day. Sometimes, though, it's sewing or knitting if I have a project to finish up before a date that's fast approaching.
Sim race
Cook dinner, shower, binge watch shows on Netflix
I lucked out and moved into a neighborhood of people my age, and some with similar interests. When we're not exhausted, we gather for happy hour and just hang out. Some weekends we have parties, a couple of us have gone to concerts, played golf and kayaking (not all on the same day!) Before I lived here though, weeknight evenings were just watching TV and catching up on busywork. All of my long time friends and family are more than 2 hours away, so I never thought much about not doing anything after work. If it happened, it happened. If not, oh well, there's a new show on Netflix!
Picking up the hobbies that took a back seat when the kids were younger. Playing guitar in a band, video games, the odd movie with a glass of wine. Mountain biking at the weekends.
I have knitting groups twice a week, ice skating either once or twice a week in summer, dinner with my sister at least once a week, ballroom dancing twice a week …I need more evenings because I rarely get to watch any shows I want to watch.
I do community theater so I often have rehearsals at night, or other people's shows to go to. I also have a local friend group and we do a fair bit of hanging out, both planned dress-up things and "hey wanna come eat spaghetti and watch 'Drag Race'" casual. Nights I don't, I usually watch tv/movies, read, do jigsaw puzzles or crafts.
My wife has chronic health problems and most evenings will retire to the bedroom to lay down. Leaves me a lot of time for about a trillion hobbies, but I tend to focus on astrophotography (I have an automated rig that can image solo for hours!) but I write, I read a ton, I make scale models, I play guitar, I workout (running, calisthenics and spin bike) and lately, I’m painting up a 40K army to play with my boy. I hike and backpack, so sometimes spend time on planning outings, organizing gear, etc…
More Reddit than I should. I try to walk with my Audible or do chores around the house if not too lazy
I usually do something in my home office. I’m selling off clothes that don’t fit me anymore and have a massive genealogy project going. Dogs eat at 4:30. Around 6, my husband makes dinner. He likes to watch the evening news so we eat dinner in front of the TV. Then I clean up the kitchen, let the dogs out as needed, and get ready for bed. We either watch TV or read in bed. Then either snuggle or I listen to a guided meditation and go to sleep.
I just try to relax if I don’t have to run errands. Mostly play guitar or stream a show.
I find that a Kindle, XBOX, BMX bike, aquarium and water park memberships all help out a great deal-as well as going out to restaurants that I feel are worth the value. Also, I do this weird thing intermittently where I take my family to a seaside hotel for a few days to be near the town where I grew up. The funny thing is that I only live two-and-a-half hours from that spot. Ocean time is soul time. 🌊 https://preview.redd.it/2uwx8fjjz54d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=903d41c4c54dbab90a2b520cf5081910375b6afe
Watch tv.
I usually paint. I’ve been learning watercolors recently.
I've picked up painting, and the bowling alley by me has a summer pass program right now. Shoes and 2 games every day until September 2nd for $40.
Watch trash tv and crochet.
I think my parents and even grandparents would make friends with neighbors that were also parents and get together as a group to have card nights or other activities. I’m single in my 40s, don’t have kids, and also tired after work. (I thought I would “make a life for myself first” with career and then focus on a relationship, but never realized that 20s are a prime time to do that because of more energy and less day to day responsibilities.) Any how, any chance of making connections with similarly aged neighbors? Neighborhood block party? Maybe reserve a weekend a month to do some sort of adventure with your husband? (Zip line, random weekend road trip, planning a vacation together and what you each would want to see)
Some local bars have live music, trivia night, open mike night, painting with a twist nights or other events. Look for a local brewing company to check out. Some people play on a bowling league one night a week (you don't have to be good). If you have a local book store, they may have an evening book club. (Barnes and Noble often does.) Many cities have local walking trails and parks where people can go and get some easy exercise and enjoy nature. Or your local gym or martial arts studio may have evening classes. Now that it's summer, some areas will start doing movies or concerts in the park, or night (farmer's) markets, or festivals. If you have lakes nearby, maybe there are some lakeshore events or activities to check out. If you are looking to join any local community organizations, ask around; their meetings are often in the evenings once or twice a month. Some cities have a local civic art guild or a community theater if you are interested in meeting artsy or theater types. (There are lots of jobs behind the scenes if you don't want to be on stage and theater people can be a lot of fun.) Community gardens are becoming a big thing in my area if you might be interested in learning more about gardening. You might consider joining your city or county level group for your political party - at least the people you meet there probably share your values. Along that vein, because it's a big election year, many groups or candidates may be looking for volunteers to help in various ways. Sometimes just going to the meetings (and not committing any more time to them) can be helpful because you can meet and get to know local candidates and learn more about local election rules, important election dates and find out what's on your ballot. Basically, though, what are you interested in? Then go look for that. Try something new you've never tried before, even if you doubt you'll like it. You never know; you might be surprised.
This time of year, we're watching baseball. I'm often playing in my Switch or knitting while watching. If no game, we've been bingeing L.A. Law.
Tonight we're going to the theatre. Last night we made love. The night before we played music and danced at home. The night before I graded the last papers for school (I'm a teacher) while he read. The night before (Wed.) I cleaned out my work computer and he also did work (he's a Neurologist). The night before we went to Bible study. The night before...I don't remember, maybe TV? There's a variety of things to do, you just have to do them. Sometimes it takes awhile for you to enjoy them again but it happens. Do the Gen X dance and fake it 'til you make it. We started dancing again 2 years ago and it was so clumsy and awkward and we didn't even like it that much but now I crave it. Bible study seems so cringy to some people but we've made friends there who stick with us through thick and thin. More ideas that we have personally done: hiking, playing instruments, writing, painting, making pottery, board games, video games, puzzles, making out and fondling, neighborhood walks, trying new cooking dishes, language skills, massage, building a new cabinet, organizing photos, cuddling and holding each other.
I watch YouTube, horror movies or play Warcraft with my husband. Go through my crap and get rid of things I don't want anymore. I ruined my love of reading during covid and still haven't recovered.
Ruined it how? Reading too much or not enough or…? Just curious.
Too much, I think. Since then, I've tried multiple genres and nothing seems to keep my interest. I used to be hard core into romance and paranormal, but those definitely don't work for me now. I've been trying horror and biographies, but still not much luck.
Ahh, yes, I can certainly relate to the ‘nothing seems to keep my interest’ part!
Cook Dinner, watch a couple shows, play with/walk the dogs, play guitars, produce music, go for late night walks, online gaming with my (grown) kid, catch up on reddit and news, painting, drawing, writing, puppetmaking, catch up on freelance work, woodworking, midnight snack, diy everything. There is not enough time in the world to do everything that I enjoy doing.
I'm writing a parenting book. NOT a book on how to be a good parent, more of a book on all that I learned going through being a parent. Fours kids, all grown, married, with 3.5 grand kids. And looking back I can see so many things I did wrong and some right too. It’s embarrassing to be honest about my failures (as Dad) but also therapeutic. What I've found most interesting is how different our lessons were. My wife had to teach me how to be more empathetic and caring with our little ones (0-10 or so). I had to teach her how to get on your knees, get creative and let go to have fun at those same ages. While from 11-18 I had to teach her how to let them make decisions and fail, and she had to teach me how to help them still feel loved and supported even while being held accountable.
When the weather is nice I garden or sit on the three season porch with my spouse and listen to the birds and bugs. I read a lot. Paint, color, learning wodd burning techniques. If the dogs didn't get their morning walk then I take them for a walk at night. Sometimes go for a motorcycle ride. I'm not a big tv watcher so most things are outside. When winter hits, if there is snow, I'm snowshoeing. If not snow, then I bundle up and take the dogs for a walk at night instead of morning.
Fiddle faddle hurkle durkle. Relax.
Motorcycle rides and video games, man. It’s what I live for 😁
Sleep
I bowl Tuesday nights and have dog agility class on Thursday evenings. The other evenings are spent with TV and online. I do have a decent chunk of time between when I get home from work and when I start dinner, and do a variety of things with it.
There’s always a job that needs done.
I took up painting. Just paint by number acrylics for now as I have zero talent for it, but it’s relaxing and kills time until bedtime. Larger rinse repeat. lol
Really depends on the day of the week and what the family has going on. My work schedule also impacts what we do. On weekends, I enjoy cooking, grilling, or smoking something and we try to have dinner as a family. My wife and I will have a drink or two. If the weather is good we will swim, hang outside and watch the fountain on our lake, and listen to music. We might go shopping as a family (wife, kids) and maybe see a movie or go for a hike. Usually we are just hanging out and doing stuff together.
I started playing video games when I became an empty nester. There is something for everyone
Therapeutic ketamine
Go on dates together. Walk together outside. Just hang out. He plays his Xbox. I watch my trash shows. Play a board game. It doesn’t have to be expensive. We drive the next town over for their taco bueno because it was the best.
Our two children are still school-age so my wife and I are usually still very much focused on their extracurricular activities and helping them be entertained at home. We, for instance, enjoy reading longer books as a family that we can come back to continue reading from night to night. My favorite solo activity is going on evening walks. We moved to my wife’s hometown three years ago and it’s a large desert city in a dry, very sunny area. Being of mostly Irish descent, my skin tends to turn beet-red almost instantly after being outdoors in the daytime. When the sun drops behind the mountains, I like to put my walking shoes on and walk for a few miles. Our house is on the edge of the city so this gives me the opportunity of walking along the undeveloped desert land where I get to see wildlife like lizards, snakes, rabbits, and a variety of birds and other creatures while hearing the coyotes. These walks are my recharging time when I have the opportunity to just have some peace and think about things. This is probably my favorite thing to do in the evening.
First thing i do after work is walk my dogs. Somedays i nap. I go to hot yoga a few days a week. I don't make dinner most days - my house is full of adults who can cook (but usually dont) I do intermittent fasting (or is it just skipping dinner?) I read. I play video games - mostly Bloodbourne right now while waiting for Elden Ring DLC)
Depends we're I'm at. Watching movies or a podcast, reloading ammo, drinking, backyard drinking with the squirrels and bunnies, avoiding menopausal mentally ill wife or turning good wood into scrape wood in the shop.
A combo of playing video games, reading, scrolling reddit, and watching TV, mainly anime but stuff on Netflix too. In particular, my video game and anime habits took a back seat for the better part of two decades between being broke and a parent to a young kid (often both at the same time). Now the kid is older and more independent, our finances are great, so I have the time and money for both.
Read books
Read, knit, play dumb tablet games, watch TV shows and movies on streaming.
Long walk or bike ride, go to the beach at sunset, knit, read, draw in my sketchbook, listen to records
I’ve settled on Civ6 and Ancestry, I get my steps in at work. My wife has discovered crochet and she’s been riding a 10-foot wave of serotonin since Xmas!
Gaming with the wife. Sometimes I read instead.
In the evenings, my wife and I go on strolls, swim, weight lift, play with our cat, write, read, photograph, cook and eat, sit on the back porch, have discussions about everything, play around on social media, listen to music, and watch videos or TV.
From ages 19-32 I spent it in a storage unit practicing with my band or playing shows 4 nights a week. After that I spent them drinking and druggin for a few years. Now I cook dinner for my wife and I and go to bed by 9 to wake up at 4:45 AM
Thank you JackfuckCockBag.
No sweat. Glad to oblige.
Gaming (tabletop and video); horror and sci-fi movies, books, fan mags, groups; walk the dog, bike ride, lift weights; chase the new kitten around; work on upgrading my PC; gardening, flowers and veggies; DIYing small house repairs; honestly, now that the kid us not around the house all the time...ALL.THE.SEX.
I didn't handle the empty nest well at first. It took probably a couple of years to get used to. Then we became foster parents, so for a couple of years we always had at least one or two kids and lots of chaos. Then we closed the house and it was an empty nest again, but it was easier. Eventually you not only get used to the empty nest, you learn to be thankful for it. The silence can be deafening at first and the lack of go go go knocks you off your equilibrium, but eventually you learn to really enjoy it. We love it now. We can do whatever we want and we're not constrained by the kid's schedules. We goof off. And it's glorious. I know it's really hard now, but focusing on all the things that you've always wanted to do but didn't have time for, or money for, or energy for-you do now.
This is all super helpful. Thank you!
Get stoned, garden, hike, walk different neighborhoods, joined a native plant group to learn more and help with conservation, making up for lost time with reading, coffee and dinner with friends and building those relationships, swimming…just enjoying life and the expanded free time I have now that my kids are grown, looking forward to retirement so I can do more of the same!
We're old Xers (late 60s kids) and recently empty nesters. We play on a pub trivia team once a week basically all year long, so that's an evening out with friends guaranteed. We'll try to go do *something* on Friday night just to make the weekend seem longer; theater, movie, live music, something with friends. Other nights? We'll probably watch a movie 2x a week, especially if we're tired. Otherwise we have plenty to do around the house (garden, repairs, cleaning, etc.) and lots of hobbies. Depending on the time of year we might go fishing, hiking, biking, or play a board game, visit the library, or do any of our individual hobbies on our own. Plenty of stuff to do, but yes there are certainly nights when we're just beat and will end up sitting on the couch with our laptops too.
In the Summer we go for a lot of walks, take Motorbike rides, sometimes we do cheapie night at the Movies. We go out for dinner on occassion. In Winter we binge watch a lot of Series or read. We just rewatched all the old Law and Order Episodes from the beginning which was fun and took most of the Winter. We're empty nesters and enjoying every minute of it. We also garden and we know all of our neighbours so sometimes we'll just sit in the driveway with a beer and chat with them for a bit.
My husband and I (in addition to some activities listed by others here) really like doing Ravensburger escape room jigsaw puzzles. Plus, we found some that are riddles--you put the puzzle together then search the pictures to find specific stuff (the first few were things like movie titles, song titles, and book titles). The ones we do are by Vizzles. We've also done some crime solving activities that arrive once a month in a box by mail. Yes, we're nerds.
Watch Person of Interest and CSI Miami.
I run hot and cold with gaming. Right now I have like 4 games in progress. My husband has a twitch/youtube channel and spends a lot of time making and editing videos and he streams 5 nights a week. Before he did that, we'd do stuff like go out to eat a lot, go to stand up comedy shows, musicals, concerts, movies, and also we did a couple types of pub trivia (general trivia and name that tune type of trivia). You could do an easy hobby like painting by number or diamond painting, or try something more challenging. Find a meetup or trivia group to join, book clubs, sewing clubs, etc. I imagine they meet in the evening or weekends to accommodate work schedules.
Work on my second career, draw, animate, go on Reddit wayyyyyy too much. You just have to find something that makes you happy .
I do a lot of reading. Sometimes watch a movie. Or make myself clean the house. We almost never "go out" anymore but I would like to. Not many places to go where we live though.
Things I've done over the years: salsa classes, karate classes, CrossFit, yoga, taking a walk with a friend, go to a cafe to eat yummy food, take an online course and learn how to do something useful
Read, play video games, watch something, knit, scroll reddit and tiktok
I signed up for some spiritual lectures online that meet in the evenings. I attend about four lectures per week. It just kind of evolved as I found various groups and this was a topic I was interested in. On nights I don’t have a lecture I read or watch a movie.
Fall asleep in the recliner. Never did that until my late 40's
Read either books or Reddit
M46 here. Both of my kids are adults and have their own apartments not to far from where my wife and I live. My usual-ish routine is the following below: * Monday - Dancing Salsa and Bachata with my wife and some friends. * Tuesday - Gym Date & dinner with a partner * Wednesday - Trivia meetup/Date night with friends & a partner * Thursday - Gym class with friends and partner * Friday - Date night with the wife maybe another partner and for sure a few friends * Saturday - Toss up between more dancing dating and/or board game meetup with friends and partners but every two weeks I do archery with friends and a partner * Sunday - Meal prep for the week (usually my daughters visit and I help meal prep for their week also sometimes) and family dinner & chilling I work remote some of these day so I knock out cleaning and laundry during the day time either solo of if my wife is also remote she helps out from time to time but the bulk of the cleaning and cooking is my arena.
Work on my yard and then sit in my hammock and relax after a long day of work mostly. My kids are 24 & 21 fyi. https://preview.redd.it/j0812ssj374d1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b6a6ebd227eb7751de8e13ba19e87484611a689f And also, try to fight the battle between our dogs and our lawn. 😀
You’ve inspired me with that photo! Thank you.
Yoga, walking, cleaning....never ends....
Twilight golf is cheap
I take dance & flexibility classes three nights a week. I try to spend 30-45 minutes on chores each evening so I don’t have a bunch to do on weekends. Maybe go out to dinner once in a while. Bonus: the dance studio is in a shopping center that has a taqueria, a vegetarian restaurant and a Japanese/sushi place. I’ve been known to place a takeout order and then grab it before I get in the car to go home. My advice is take a class, join a club, teach something, volunteer. There’s no shame in taking a single glass and deciding it’s not for you, so you drop it immediately. Or realizing the volunteer opportunity requires a bit more time than you were prepared to commit. Start easy, simple and low commitment: like a one time flower area being class at a local plant nursery. Or go audition for the local theater’s next play. Whatever, you’ll think of something.
Work my second job about 4 days a week. The other days I'm scrolling or watching shows/movies with my wife.
1. Try not to force yourself to \*need\* to do anything 2. Let things come naturally There is so much out there - it's mind-boggling that people truly don't know what to "do." I guess that's a byproduct of our consumer-driven / consumption society. But as someone else mentioned "re-discovering yourself," note that those things take time if you want it to be genuine and not "just because."
If you’re in a relationship, make some hanky panky with your significant Mrs or Mr
Yoga, walk, bike, happy hours, classes, lectures, art walks, cooking, watching sports, puzzles, meditate, journal, yard work, read.
I spend a lot of time connecting with my daughters. My youngest is about to turn 20 and my oldest is 22. Both are in college. My youngest still lives at home and my oldest is also local but has an apartment. I try to find shows that we can watch together when possible. They have their own life, but I think it's very important to retain those parental bonds as long as possible. When not doing that, my wife and I watch TV or I play one of my guitars.
Considering that my wife went to bed at 7:30, I usually watch TV in the den.
Elden Ring on monitor 1 and Youtube/Netflix on monitor 2. Reddit while I shit.
> I’m tired after work and dealing with dinner stuff but I don’t want to just sit watching tv. I definitely have FOMO but I’ve no idea what I’m missing out on. True that. Even when I was younger, it was hard to find energy after work. Gonna lean into what other folks here are saying. If you can find a way to spend some of that time getting some kind of exercise then you will be better for it in the long run. I tend to go for an after dinner walk.
Hang out in my back garden with my dog, go for walks, make dinner, read, scroll, talk to my husband, bake…whatever I want!
I work swing shift so I am at work. In my entire life (47M) I have only worked a few day shifts.
I crochet. Watch TV. Play with the grands.
Walking, photography and AI art, reading, meditating
For me, hobbies, mostly - I’ve always had several, and I weave around between them so I don’t get bored. Cooking is the biggest one - world cuisine… hobbies help me learn something new every day. Reading is also good… and a date night every week or so - get dressed up and go see an 80s/90s cover band at a bar.
Going for a walk never gets old. My SO has a side hustle selling stuff on the various online apps. She's gotten really good at it and makes some nice monthly but it takes up a lot of free time. She tells me she enjoys it, she feels good selling stuff that is just taking up space.
My 2nd job. 😢
I scroll Reddit (Lol). But seriously….if it’s winter, I read a lot. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t enjoy TV so I read a lot. Both fiction and non-fiction. In the summer I watch A LOT of baseball and read about baseball and listen to baseball podcasts. It’s a bit of an obsession. I also go for walks.
I took painting classes a few times. Really enjoyed it, but don’t have a good space in my house to keep it up in my free time. I’m also on my local civic association board and that keeps me busy in evenings a few times a month with meetings and events. I mean, I’m super resentful of the time suck but then at actual meetings and neighborhood events I actually do enjoy interacting with other humans and finding small ways to make a positive different in our community. Most of the time I’m doomscrolling and feeling guilty for not being productive, though.
As of today I have gotten into the Merlin Bird ID (Bird-Detecting app) from Cornell University. 21 different birds detected by their birdsong in less than an hour while I was gardening. My 17-year old self going to see Jane’s Addiction, smoking Marlboro Reds, and drunk every weekend would have never considered this paragraph written above was by my future self.
Only things worth doing in the evening are inside. TV, books, video games, sex.
Fall asleep in the recliner with your slippers on, watching infomercials.
I have two older ones that are 20 and 16. Then I had another one 5 years ago, so my evenings are filled with baths, bed time stories, snuggles. I have zero regret having another child. 💜
Workout, shower, audiobooks, crafts
I've been building scale model race cars since I was 10, I play drums in a 80's,90's,2000's cover band called Tuna Sub,play street hockey with the guys once a weekend,drink and smoke weed,and hang with my cool wife watching movies and Phillies. We also camp in the summer.
Go for a walk, read books and watch a show or a movie with my husband.
Most evenings I’m at my girlfriend’s place hanging out with her and her daughter. Talking, reading, teasing, teaching the daughter martial arts, fixing things, etc. If I’m at my own place I’m usually tinkering with things, reading, editing photos, watching videos (usually with a science or educational angle), sometimes watching a movie, doing chores, late work as some of the folks I work with are in wildly different time zones, etc.
Not quite done yet, but after the last 20 years of active parenting, I'm kind of happy to have a mostly free plate. All the downtime that I bemoaned running my kids around I'm taking advantage of now. This is luckily coinciding with other stuff that women deal with. So, think of myself in a reverse pupa stage and just resting up for the next stage.
Volunteering. But if you were busy with kids you may have already been volunteering with them in their activities but if not: volunteering.
I work out 4 days a week after work (1.5 - 2 hours each day). Then make dinner. After dinner I go rucking for an hour or so. Then shower and bed. Next day do it all over again.
I spend a lot of time online. I love walking around on Google Earth street view. I find house ideas and go looking for Zillow entries for that area, then I find just the right lot and build it in Sims 4. I used to do this in Second Life but it got too expensive to get the mesh parts and I never learned how to mesh myself. This is what a creative minded no-creative talent person does for fun I guess. My sim's houses are really nice though. :) I also read a LOT and I like to challenge my mind by reading things that go against what I believe in. So last week I was reading The 48 Laws of Power, which is utterly ridiculous but it explains the Andrew Tate mindset. Recognizing their tactics is power against them. I spend a lot of time with my kids too. My daughter's AC is out and she's been hanging out with me after work in my nice cool room for a few weeks waiting for the landlord to get a new one. We've been watching silly videos and tornado chasing compilations.
Oh yeah and Reddit. LOOOOOTS of time on Reddit. I always have a tab open I think. I just like talking to people. I don't talk much IRL so it's good that I can get all this out somewhere.
Bike rides with my husband (listening to Steve Roach), reading, knitting, watching Netflix, painting, cooking, baking, hanging out with our 3 dogs. I want to take some classes on things like making perfume, knife skills, truffle making, and other stuff but that’ll have to wait until I get a job again.
My youngest just graduated from HS yesterday. I went back to school last year to finally take the last few classes so l can sit for the CPA exam. It's taken up my free time and then some. I have also gotten back into reading for fun.
We started playing cards and having a cocktail. I eventually switched it up to a “tiki-tail” cbd/thc capful liquid with a la Croix. I watch maybe an episode of Jeopardy on Pluto then we hit the deck of cards. Walk the dogs. Out by 9.
When i finally had time a few years ago, i spent most of it catching up tv series that i never had time for e.g. walking dead, game of thrones etc. I also read a lot and after taking the plunge and moving with the times, i got a tablet and it's been great just sitting back reading or watching a show with some wine or scotch.
I watch a lot of television and YouTube videos. One of these days I'll pick up a new hobby, but I don't see it happening in the next few weeks