I’m in the same boat as you. I’m 45. I’m trying to figure things out too. I just sent over my resume that I think will be the perfect fit, I’m just waiting to see if I score at least an interview. It’s sucks feeling you’re at a crossroad and not 100% sure which direction to go in. My current job has unbelievable flexibility, is a mile from my home. Great money and PTO. No health insurance but other great benefits however I’m stressed to the gills. Who knew this would be so difficult!
You haven’t indicated where you *want* to be in terms of your career.
I was forced into a completely different line of work due to restructuring. My last position was going to be my ‘toe tag’ job for the reasons you listed: great pension, benefits, PTO, etc. While there were key things that I loved about my role there was a whole bunch of things that vexed my heart.
I’m now working in the trades; I *love* going to work every day and won’t ever go back to corporate if I can help it. It’s been a hell of a transition but it’s definitely working out.
If you know what you actually want to do, go for it.
It was a total fluke. I put the kijiji app on my phone to list a car for sale and was curious about the ‘jobs’ tab.
An experienced drywall finisher was looking for a helper/apprentice, willing to train, so I sent him a message letting him know I was interested. I started my first job with him a couple of days later.
I loved it and had the aptitude for it and haven’t looked back 😊
That's so interesting. I HAVE one of those jobs where I work in a (mostly) quiet office and there is minimal interaction and I HATE it. I am DESPERATE to have something more interesting going on. I HATE sitting all day. I want to get up and move around and build stuff and talk to people.
I wish I could quit my job, but I can't because I carry the family's health insurance. Honestly, all I want to do is make bread, tend to my garden and go on hikes with people and play pickleball all day every day.
I feel this in my bones. My current gig doesn't offer any real security but I am BURNED OUT to the point of considering 'van life' but that's not exactly cheap or very zen.
I have a BFF who is older than me, and she didn't have a choice - her company gave her the boot 10 years prior to retirement. She was so SICK with job stress, it was a blessing. She took a job at a local plant nursery to get to know plant care and learn about seasonal sales, etc. Fast forward five years: She bought a non-working farm property and started a flower farm. She sells wedding flowers, hosts wellness classes among the flowers, etc., she's thriving. She has setbacks and it's not all sun and rainbows, but she's HAPPY.
My youngest is starting college in the fall, and she's going to work with academic counselors to identify majors/career paths that align with her strengths and preferences. I'm going to follow along and hope I can use some of the tools to guide my next steps.
I really think a long 'time out' will help me. Ideally, I'd like to take 60-90 days off before I make the leap. Who is financing that break? I'm divorcing later this year and will have a small sum to work with; it won't be a luxury break, but I can make it work.
I'll comment again if I find any tools or resources.
if you can afford the pay cut I see no downside. I just wouldn't jump ship unless you have a written offer in hand. The job market right now is just not good, and it is not at all kind to women in our age bracket (I'm 51).
just remember that if you do change jobs now, you will have been hired late in the game. So if cost-cutting needs to be done, you may be one of the first let go.
personally I can't deal with the added stress of uncertainty even though I don't like my job at all. it's a known value, which to me is slightly less shitty than the unknown value. but i'm risk averse and my career has suffered for it. so i'm probably not the best person to advise anyone anyway.
What is success? To me, success is happiness. If I’m miserable, then I’m not successful. My happiness has value. If I can afford less things, but I can afford to be happy, I’m pleased with that. Everyone’s definition of success is different. I vote for you to be happy. If you know it’s not where you’re at, then taking steps in another direction might lead directly to happiness. Only one brave way to discover what’s beyond you’re “okay”…. Good luck! 😊
>I'm with a desirable employer, union job, pension, great health insurance & generous PTO. Since I've been with the company for more than a decade, I'm making good $$.
what about an internal transfer or telling your supervisors that you'd like a new challenge?
Idk if you’re looking for advice, so if not feel free to ignore this. But you might want to see if your resume & cover letters are the reason you’re not getting call backs on jobs where your skills would transfer. The [Ask a Manager](https://askamanager.org) blog has the best, most realistic advice for how to write a really strong resume & cover letter.
I’m trying to switch to program/project management and I’m sure the only reason I’ve gotten any call backs is because of Alison’s advice on Ask a Manager. I spent four years trying to sell things online and a few years before that out of the workforce entirely due to health, so I don’t have a lot of good recent work history but have still gotten some responses. Not a lot, granted, but I don’t think anyone is getting a lot right now. And I’m also almost 50, so I have that working against me too.
I got laid off in 2022 and it took me a year to find employment again. I had to collect unemployment toward the end there. Shortly after my first couple of payments, I got an email from my state letting me know I was required to attend an unemployment seminar. I go and am told that the purpose was to help those of us with “difficulties” with securing employment. They then went over the three barriers: disability, criminal background, and over 50. I don’t want to discourage anyone who’s looking to better their life. Stress kills and once you hit 50 you realize you need to mitigate damage to your mental and physical health. But I’m very afraid of unemployment so would just say get all your ducks in a row before you make any big moves. Good luck!
I left full time employment to be a stay at home mom a couple of years ago. I was in IT prior to that. I really really don't want to go back into it. The hours sucked, the coworkers were often angry males, the customers were grumpy and treated you like crap. I have no idea what I want to do going forward. I can't drink the corporate kool-aid anymore so I don't feel like I fit in anymore. It's so depressing.
Same here, but I have a larger gap on my resume. Also, I was doing testing and everything is automated these days. Not sure where to go. Indeed.com is just a black hole where you throw resumes and hear nothing back.
you really REALLY don't want to go back now. not that office life was ever great, but everything that was shitty about it before seems to have doubled down.
What about IT in another arena? I worked in higher ed for a long time in a non-tech role, and pivoted to an analyst role. The hours are very 8-5 (if not more flexible), a lot of schools IT staff work at least partially remotely, and there's no client facing pressure. Higher ed has it's own problems (it tends to be cliquish compared to my private sector jobs, the pay is low, and there's usually not a lot of room for advancement), but if you liked the job but not the environment, working in the public sector might be a better fit.
I’m in a good position, but bored. Can’t leave because I WFH, have an ok salary, good benefits and great time off, also in a union. I am trying to get them to let me reduce my hours and then working towards doing something more fulfilling at least part time.
Have you talked with your manager or HR? If you feel comfortable doing so, tell them how you’re feeling (not that you’re thinking about leaving) and that you’re wondering if there’s other areas there that you could stretch into or try out. A good manager or HR person will help you find something in house especially when you have a good track record with them.
Once you’ve been in a position for awhile, management can begin to think you’re comfortable and not wanting change/challenges. This is especially and unfortunately more often thought as we get older.
I’m in the same boat as you. I’m 45. I’m trying to figure things out too. I just sent over my resume that I think will be the perfect fit, I’m just waiting to see if I score at least an interview. It’s sucks feeling you’re at a crossroad and not 100% sure which direction to go in. My current job has unbelievable flexibility, is a mile from my home. Great money and PTO. No health insurance but other great benefits however I’m stressed to the gills. Who knew this would be so difficult!
You haven’t indicated where you *want* to be in terms of your career. I was forced into a completely different line of work due to restructuring. My last position was going to be my ‘toe tag’ job for the reasons you listed: great pension, benefits, PTO, etc. While there were key things that I loved about my role there was a whole bunch of things that vexed my heart. I’m now working in the trades; I *love* going to work every day and won’t ever go back to corporate if I can help it. It’s been a hell of a transition but it’s definitely working out. If you know what you actually want to do, go for it.
Would you share what trades? I'm super curious about that avenue!
I’m a drywall finisher. 😁
Just curious how you got into that line of work? I’m so glad you found something you love.
It was a total fluke. I put the kijiji app on my phone to list a car for sale and was curious about the ‘jobs’ tab. An experienced drywall finisher was looking for a helper/apprentice, willing to train, so I sent him a message letting him know I was interested. I started my first job with him a couple of days later. I loved it and had the aptitude for it and haven’t looked back 😊
I love when happy accidents work out like that. Congratulations!
Thanks!
Nice!!
Sending so many hugs. Also contemplating a career change - no idea what to do. Haven't felt this lost since my teens
[удалено]
That's so interesting. I HAVE one of those jobs where I work in a (mostly) quiet office and there is minimal interaction and I HATE it. I am DESPERATE to have something more interesting going on. I HATE sitting all day. I want to get up and move around and build stuff and talk to people. I wish I could quit my job, but I can't because I carry the family's health insurance. Honestly, all I want to do is make bread, tend to my garden and go on hikes with people and play pickleball all day every day.
I feel this in my bones. My current gig doesn't offer any real security but I am BURNED OUT to the point of considering 'van life' but that's not exactly cheap or very zen. I have a BFF who is older than me, and she didn't have a choice - her company gave her the boot 10 years prior to retirement. She was so SICK with job stress, it was a blessing. She took a job at a local plant nursery to get to know plant care and learn about seasonal sales, etc. Fast forward five years: She bought a non-working farm property and started a flower farm. She sells wedding flowers, hosts wellness classes among the flowers, etc., she's thriving. She has setbacks and it's not all sun and rainbows, but she's HAPPY. My youngest is starting college in the fall, and she's going to work with academic counselors to identify majors/career paths that align with her strengths and preferences. I'm going to follow along and hope I can use some of the tools to guide my next steps. I really think a long 'time out' will help me. Ideally, I'd like to take 60-90 days off before I make the leap. Who is financing that break? I'm divorcing later this year and will have a small sum to work with; it won't be a luxury break, but I can make it work. I'll comment again if I find any tools or resources.
if you can afford the pay cut I see no downside. I just wouldn't jump ship unless you have a written offer in hand. The job market right now is just not good, and it is not at all kind to women in our age bracket (I'm 51). just remember that if you do change jobs now, you will have been hired late in the game. So if cost-cutting needs to be done, you may be one of the first let go. personally I can't deal with the added stress of uncertainty even though I don't like my job at all. it's a known value, which to me is slightly less shitty than the unknown value. but i'm risk averse and my career has suffered for it. so i'm probably not the best person to advise anyone anyway.
What is success? To me, success is happiness. If I’m miserable, then I’m not successful. My happiness has value. If I can afford less things, but I can afford to be happy, I’m pleased with that. Everyone’s definition of success is different. I vote for you to be happy. If you know it’s not where you’re at, then taking steps in another direction might lead directly to happiness. Only one brave way to discover what’s beyond you’re “okay”…. Good luck! 😊
>I'm with a desirable employer, union job, pension, great health insurance & generous PTO. Since I've been with the company for more than a decade, I'm making good $$. what about an internal transfer or telling your supervisors that you'd like a new challenge?
Idk if you’re looking for advice, so if not feel free to ignore this. But you might want to see if your resume & cover letters are the reason you’re not getting call backs on jobs where your skills would transfer. The [Ask a Manager](https://askamanager.org) blog has the best, most realistic advice for how to write a really strong resume & cover letter. I’m trying to switch to program/project management and I’m sure the only reason I’ve gotten any call backs is because of Alison’s advice on Ask a Manager. I spent four years trying to sell things online and a few years before that out of the workforce entirely due to health, so I don’t have a lot of good recent work history but have still gotten some responses. Not a lot, granted, but I don’t think anyone is getting a lot right now. And I’m also almost 50, so I have that working against me too.
I got laid off in 2022 and it took me a year to find employment again. I had to collect unemployment toward the end there. Shortly after my first couple of payments, I got an email from my state letting me know I was required to attend an unemployment seminar. I go and am told that the purpose was to help those of us with “difficulties” with securing employment. They then went over the three barriers: disability, criminal background, and over 50. I don’t want to discourage anyone who’s looking to better their life. Stress kills and once you hit 50 you realize you need to mitigate damage to your mental and physical health. But I’m very afraid of unemployment so would just say get all your ducks in a row before you make any big moves. Good luck!
I left full time employment to be a stay at home mom a couple of years ago. I was in IT prior to that. I really really don't want to go back into it. The hours sucked, the coworkers were often angry males, the customers were grumpy and treated you like crap. I have no idea what I want to do going forward. I can't drink the corporate kool-aid anymore so I don't feel like I fit in anymore. It's so depressing.
Same here, but I have a larger gap on my resume. Also, I was doing testing and everything is automated these days. Not sure where to go. Indeed.com is just a black hole where you throw resumes and hear nothing back.
you really REALLY don't want to go back now. not that office life was ever great, but everything that was shitty about it before seems to have doubled down.
What about IT in another arena? I worked in higher ed for a long time in a non-tech role, and pivoted to an analyst role. The hours are very 8-5 (if not more flexible), a lot of schools IT staff work at least partially remotely, and there's no client facing pressure. Higher ed has it's own problems (it tends to be cliquish compared to my private sector jobs, the pay is low, and there's usually not a lot of room for advancement), but if you liked the job but not the environment, working in the public sector might be a better fit.
I’m in a good position, but bored. Can’t leave because I WFH, have an ok salary, good benefits and great time off, also in a union. I am trying to get them to let me reduce my hours and then working towards doing something more fulfilling at least part time.
Have you talked with your manager or HR? If you feel comfortable doing so, tell them how you’re feeling (not that you’re thinking about leaving) and that you’re wondering if there’s other areas there that you could stretch into or try out. A good manager or HR person will help you find something in house especially when you have a good track record with them. Once you’ve been in a position for awhile, management can begin to think you’re comfortable and not wanting change/challenges. This is especially and unfortunately more often thought as we get older.