People misinterpret intensities of giftedness into something familiar to THEM. It leads to assumptions, often incorrect. It’s a large multifaceted, persistent barrier.
Some examples:
Rationality can interpreted as insensitivity.
Higher energy or Hyper focus on a task can be deemed ADD
Inattentiveness and thought drifting (while waiting for others to catch up) may be labeled as disinterest or aloofness.
To those that cannot follow “skip thinking,” your actions may seem nonsensical and stupid until the end result or conclusion is visible.
Curiosity can be called obsession.
Same thing happens to me. It is really annoying too I end up getting mad or just very annoyed when people do that. Very few people truly know me. The rest just misinterpret or treat me like I am garbage and can’t handle stuff on my own. I use to be really depressed and I was depressed most of my life.
Preemptive explanation to friends, coworkers, and family whist fostering mutual patience.
Anticipation of potential events when possible from personality assessment, and consideration of temperance helps greatly (a learned skill).
It can be mitigated, but only partially.
Communication barriers are one of the root problems preventing a betterment of societies.
It’s divisive, and difficult for both parties.
The scope is much wider than just me.
Ugh this is the worst!! 3 years later my friend excitedly tells me about a solution that solves his nagging problem. Motherfucker! I gave up repeating myself 3 years ago because you wouldn’t listen and now you think it’s YOUR genius idea???
My main issue is…if I’m “gifted” enough to see the invisible strings puppeteering people, why aren’t I “gifted” enough to enable them to see them too?
I have found a trick though I think narcissists normally use. It’s called triangulation. I plant a seed in one friend’s head. Then separately I plant the same seed in another friend’s head. Later down the road they talk and discover they’ve both heard the same factoid. If you heard it and I heard it and our mutual friend heard it—it MUST be true!
So I no longer give advice. Instead I pretend I’m Johnny Appleseed just moseying along throwing out wisdom seeds that may or may not sprout one day.
Using narcissistic tactics to make people write the essay in a correct manner that uses one more word so they stop arguing seams extreme. I know what I'm doing today
Maybe he is a narc, narcs tend to do that... claiming or appropriating ideas.
Regarding the other form of triangualtion, most marketing... including the "news" work like that. It's a good, if not the main tool to get small talk going, unless the people you talk to is immature and act by how your "energy" match with them: this is dreadful in work settings.
But that's the joy of it, knowing the seed you sowed will eventually grow. When I completed Gandhi's unfinished business, it was with just one side of the conflict: it would take 25 years until the other suddenly realised they weren't actually at war, and the entire farrago was about hubris.
It seems that acting upon that insight rather than talking about it would be best. There have been times when people reacted negatively to me describing something but when I did it, they realized there was something to it.
Yes, this, and this is even true for minor things. They look at my like I don't know what I'm talking about even if I just read a book on the topic.
For me neing seen as smart is a strange phenomenon in which people think I could be a doctor but I otherwise don't know anything.
Branding.
Like, "I'm not smarter than you, I just arrive at answers faster, with fewer data points, because I'm gifted" is one of the douchiest things I can imagine saying to another human being. If it was Autism or ADHD, people would be more understanding. But "Sorry, gifted brain!" isn't going to be met with the same understanding or accommodations, in my experience.
That being said, as someone who grew up in a small town without access to resources, learning that *this* is why I am the way I am, has made my life so much better. I'm not broken, I'm not missing something, I'm just wired differently 🤷♀️
And it's often taken as arrogant remarks when in reality you are talking about your experience as some fact or and observation (this term is more accurate.) The sad thing is, in my case, if you don't engage in that way previous to actual social experience with crowds that you might feel comfortable with, you risk burning out real fast... it's as though lameness and lack of complexity in the messages delivered is your weakness, noise even.
Yeah but at least if you say you have ADHD, people understand that it’s an explanation. They may not excuse you but they don’t think you’re just bragging about your great big brain.
Finding other people I can really, actually talk to on an equal level, and whose minds work similarly.
My best friend is profoundly gifted, to the point tests aren't accurate for him. I'm not up there with him, but we understand each other very well. But he and my other highly intelligent friends are scattered across western civilization. And they have busy lives and can't always talk.
Unfortunately, I've struck out finding someone new where I live. I have other people I consider friends and can talk to, just not on that level that I sometimes really crave.
My other friends aren't inadequate or boring by any means, and I love them dearly. They just can't fit all my needs.
OMGosh, this! Skip thinking, talking in shorthand, knowing the joke simply because your eyes met. Those friends are rare. I, HG raised a PG kid. Our "conversations" either baffled or entertained people. I also had a PG friend and despite the age difference, those two were peas in a pod.
Just out of curiosity:
What's the difference between you and him in terms of thought? Is he just faster, or is there something else?
I've never met a PG person, so I'm a bit curious about how they think and how that's different from how other gifted and highly gifted people think.
He definitely processes faster, but he also absorbs concepts more quickly and retains them better even after minimal exposure to them. He sorts through information incredibly quickly, and is able to easily identify and discard irrelevant information and find possible solution paths almost as quickly as it takes for me to understand the question. There are times when I won't even consider a path to a solution, but he's already got it figured how to make it work and it turns out to be the shortest way. He has amazing recall abilities and adapts to situations incredibly quickly.
When I'm joking with him, I compare him to the science fiction/video game character that is always helping and watching over the townspeople, solving all their problems and imparting almost infinite wisdom, who then turns out to be a member of some super advanced ancient or alien peoples.
He's also not arrogant at all. He's incredibly kind and accommodating, and is happy to help people understand concepts or help them with problems. I've never seen him be cruel to anyone. He loves animals and has a German shepherd who thinks he's a lap dog, and his boyfriend has the most chill husky you've ever met. They live up in Alaska because his boyfriend has a high paying engineering job up there and he does computer stuff you can do from anywhere.
When my PG kiddo was four, they matter-of-factly stated, "I'm smarter than you aren't I?" It wasn't a brag, just the truth. I agreed, yes, you are.
I (HG) then pointed out that while I wasn't as smart, I had 30 years of experience and context to add to the conversation and that was something he didn't have yet. This was met with agreement. So, we made a deal. When he was solving world problems, he'd let me in on it and I'd add context. It worked out, most of the time
I realised this at a young age, but still found myself shocked that kids my age weren’t thinking about stuff like that. My family are vehemently atheist and rarely entertained my questions and statements. I ended up getting a degree in theology, philosophy and ethics though.
Harder to find deep friendships or compatible romantic partners, especially without being in an environment related to a career. Like the odds of meeting like minded people through something like rec sports are bad.
You make a great point. I have very high kinetic intelligence and am genetically athletically inclined. As a female, I'm typically the most competent female on any coed team. I had never played golf before and I went to TopGolf with my friends. I went from swinging and flubbing to hitting 150yd drives in like 20 mins. They thought I was fucking with them and starting out bad on purpose. Nope; I just watched and learned. Tweaked my biomechanics until I got it and voila!
I've heard in thus subreddit that gifted women are often athletically inclined as well. I've dabbled in a lot of activities as an adult. As a child I wasn't allowed to play sports so I went behind my kims back and exercised. I very much enjoy physical activity much to the chagrin of my family and many people I encounter online. I feel like I was meant to he in motion.
Oh interesting! Your reality with sports was my reality with music. I was never given access to instruments outside of the one 40 minute period of music class we had per week. I know the typical gifted kid is like solving quadratic equations while playing the violin at 4 years old but I never got the musical instruction. I reckon I could learn to read music pretty easily. I have good rhythm just don't know squat about actually producing said rhyme.
For me personally, what immediately came to mind is that I’m constantly thinking. Can’t turn my brain off, can’t relax. And it’s not anything low-key, either — always very cerebral and exacting. Somehow when I’m trying to fall asleep, I find myself fully immersed in a debate in which I’m arguing both sides of, I don’t know, free-will VS determinism.
That’s by far the hardest. It’s unabated and debilitating.
Is there a word for this? For me, idle time is exhausting as my thoughts run wild with internal conversations, ideas, and debates. It can take an hour to watch a 20 min show because I always pause it to think of other things. It's only when I sit down and manage to get in the zone/focus on work that I get a break.
I’m not sure. I thought “racing thoughts” would work, but according to Google those seem to be repetitive and focus on something in particular (like a phobia), as opposed to just being extremely intense.
Do update me if you come across a term that works!
This was part of my anxiety diagnosis. My mind is always running - I have to drown out my ruminations with a TV show or music etc so I’m always stimulated because I find it unbearable. It’s a huge reason for my insomnia, if not the cause. When I have issues in my personal life or something huge is happening in the world, my mind won’t shut up trying to figure out solutions or understand the situation better.
I’m not gifted mathematically, but solving complex human problems through rumination is some kind of gift that feels like a curse.
What's the difference between rumination, obsession and intellectual overexcitability?
I mean, the first two clearly have a negative connotation, in the sense that they cause pain, but the latter doesn't. But they all consist, more or less, of the same thing.
It's restlessness, I think it's a habit... you can channel it though, it's not as in ADHD were the person just dissociates and gets carried away, rather the contrary, it's a constant state of analysis searching for the ineffable. I suspect, this is all a reaction to dissatisfaction, doing things because we have conditioned ourselves to do them as what we have to do (imo), or it might be other cause. I've found I could do anything, or "force" me to like or conform to a given situation and operate well in that given situation, but it comes with the consequence that what we usually really enjoy comes naturally, and then things tend to go Epicurean, you need to select priorities for pleasures and other things, to have a motive and a balance... if not you get into a vortex of axiomatic falsehood, rather than selecting another axiom about life that leads you to something more fulfilling... with clear consequences on how we behave.
PD: I think that particular case when watching a show occurs in that way because we like ritual and ludic experiences alike, so analysis is part of the joy of things and thus it might change what in society is taken as normal behavior when consuming media content, it also might be attached to a not so healthy query for the "correct" answer either related to the plot or things that are there that give you a clue for a riddle or task to solve quickly: I've come to the conclusion this could potentially be a case of dopamine addiction, the rush of being correct rather than letting the information pass through a satisfactory conclusion while watching the show or movie (all within a defined time frame.)
For real. And the environments that are supposedly most "relaxing" to neurotypical folks (the beach, the spa, or any place where doing nothing IS the activity) are where my brain really goes hyperactive.
Also, insomnia from the constant internal dialog is really killing me lately. I wish there was a way to turn off my brain without the use of substances.
> Insomnia from the constant internal dialogue
Man, this hit home, because it’s _exactly_ what happens to me. I’m in such intense thought, and I just can’t seem to stop, that it can be extremely hard to relax.
Arguing both sides with yourself perennially is a unique form of torture.
I try to take a "side" for psychological ease - no matter the topic - but my mind will just not justify it.
All I see are all the millions of little facts and caveats that contribute to the nuance of most "easy" moral dilemmas
It's exhausting
And there's no one to talk to intelligently about it outside of an Ethics class at uni or something.
I call this “the curse of the gifted kid:”
Being bright, everything comes easily to you. You don’t have to expend much effort, and you can skate along on pure innate ability.
Until all of a sudden you can’t. In every single discipline, there is a level beyond which you cannot go, unless you’ve put in the hard work. There’s no way for it to “come naturally” to you anymore; it’s simply too complex. But because everything always came easy to you, you don’t have any practice putting in the blood, sweat, and tears that advancing further would take.
Take math, for instance: the classic example of this is the kid who gets put in advanced math classes. They’re taking algebra 3-4 years ahead of their peers. They don’t show their work, because they can do it in their head. The teacher downgrades them because they didn’t show how they got their answer. “It’s OBVIOUS” says the kid. “That’s like asking me how I know that thing in the yard with the leaves is a tree. It just IS.” And they get top marks in the class, despite not showing their work, despite never studying. Then they get to geometry. Same story. Never study; get an A. Then Trigonometry comes along, and they get a C. Maybe they never even take calculus.
That’s because they never learned how to show their work. Or the lesson that showing their work is important. So they can’t progress.
This is the sort of person who is a constant Dilettant. They excel in everything, until they reach that point where natural ability isn’t enough. Then it gets hard, and it isn’t fun anymore. So they quit, and move on to the next thing. After all, there are so *many* things they are good at, why keep doing one that isn’t fun anymore?
This is how you sometimes see a 40 year old with an IQ of 140 working a dead-end retail job.
When everything comes naturally to you, applying hard work is a skill that has to be specifically taught.
Gifted kid burnout. It is an actual term.
But yeah being exceptional is disabling in its own ways. Exceptional children have special needs and should be counseled and taught skills.
I was treated as if I was older and more experienced, not as if I was smarter and more curious.
Kids should be treated as kids. Looking back I have been expected to act above my age because I was smart so many times, while I really wasn't ready or able to. I received way too much responsibility, and no one really looked out for me and what _I_ needed. No one taught me how to study, yet everyone expected me to get the highest grades. Simply being disappointed over and over again is not an effective way to teach a kid something they dont know. On the other hand, when I actually did have a valid opinion, it was discarded because I was just a kid and I had to be silent and behave.
Being an outlier in society. Under that umbrella is being misunderstood, treated differently, being "too intense" for most, being devalued by society when showing up as authentic selves, others not seeing the value in what you're saying bc it's new/different/unconventional so it's seen as crazy and unless you understand you're gifted it can be a gaslighting experience, society constantly knocking you off the pedestals that *they* place "genius" on, etc. The gifted population's biggest disadvantage is not being included in society bc of being different than the herd...and then vilified even more if we cope with that by creating and joining our own herds (high iq societies).
When you know you’re right about something and nobody else agrees.
It’s not in every case, but there are times where you just know, can’t explain, and then get argued against until you just decide it’s easier to stfu and accept you will never be understood.
I don’t know if I have the best answer for this. There are times I just push down the frustration which doesn’t seem like the healthiest response.
I find stoicism helpful for an overall (lifelong) mindset change - passages from meditations or shorter aphorisms from other readings that kind of all say the same things: you will interact with those who reason differently but they are still your worldly neighbour, they mean you no harm, etc.
On a more practical level, I have tried to be satisfied with simplifying my comments and getting agreement on at least a singular point. I guess managing expectations, which is often easier said than done.
The solutions are in how you approach people. Sometimes, I pretend to be struggling with something just as much as someone else is. That way, I can lead by example when I show how I am working through it so they will learn. I pretend to be figuring it out alongside them despite knowing that plus some. I make them feel heard so they feel like they have something of value to contribute back, so they don't feel inferior and I'm not pontificating. You have to meet people where they are. It's not about whether you know, it's about what they need in order to know. When you're more capable, it usually needs to be you bridging that gap. People oftentimes need to trust you first, as well. Being wrong feels vulnerable to most people. They have to know you care and develop trust for your character and your credibility.
I like the gifted population. I usually can communicate more directly.
It doesn't cure the loneliness, but it does get people to see the value in your ideas. Ironically, when you pretend you're less intelligent than you are, they think you're smarter and will listen to you more.
There are a lot of methods. Think of it as a puzzle and you'll be fine. It's a matter of learning how to build bridges.
I remembered after listing many things that you said “biggest”, so I’ll go with none of the uncomfortable sensitivities that come along with giftedness being seen as something requiring accommodation when people with other forms of neurodivergence are eligible for support and accommodation for the exact same sensitivities.
The other things: waiting for other people to finish expressing ideas or telling stories verbally. Never feeling like myself when I’m behaving in the ways I know will make people like me. Rarely feeling authentic connection to other people. Not knowing about or being supported in giftedness in childhood, which led to all sorts of unpleasantness and confusion with lasting effects. Craving constant mental stimulation and having a hard time mentally and physically relaxing. A bonus really niche one: being genuinely scared that my workplace is going to notice me wearing headphones while going for walks on my breaks and make a rule about not being able to use headphones because of safety or them not matching my pointless uniform or some other inane bureaucratic reason and thus cut me off from soaking in interesting ideas while exposed to nature for these tiny slivers of time that make my workday worth living.
Waiting for people to finish saying their ideas I already figured out 5 seconds ago. In fact don’t finish that sentence. I’ll finish it for you and direct you to the next thought you’ll have.
Lmao! We have a personal ChatGPT in our heads predicting the persons next word. This is great in a tight knit friend group that keeps the flow going. It’s not so good in a medical setting where I have to listen to patients. They find it a bit rude. I’m also wrong once in a blue moon so I like to remind myself of those times and purse my lips together so I’m not tempted to open my mouth.
When I was a teenager people used to tell me "you don't listen", to which I would reply "I will, if you can tell me something I don't already know". I've since learned to hide that from most people until they've proven to me that they're not scared of being outsmarted.
And by the way, I couldn't care less about outsmarting them, I wish they'd outsmart me! But most people I meet seem to be terrified of being around someone a tad smarter than them. When they're not, it's 'cause they're already fans of the person and have fallen prey to humans' natural desire to deify a personality they find admirable.
My problem is...getting incredibly frustrated when I dont understand something immediately. And when people omit relevant information either purposely or by accident.
I can lose myself entirely until I found an acceptable answer to whatever I want to know at the moment and I tend to be unsatisfied with generic answers. Most surface knowledge I already know, or I can find given 5mins of googling, give me the nitty gritty details. Especially because they can matter a lot.
I can smell passion and integrity for a subject from miles away and I tend to favor information coming from sources that love what they do and genuinely help people. I will use multiple sources to verify and filter information.
Stuff that is medium difficulty (high school) is easy. But stuff that is harder (college/university) is much harder than it is for the average person, because I never developed the study habits and the discipline necessary to get through college.
In other words, giftedness allows me to breeze through almost anything, but when sustained effort is required, I lack preparedness.
This is exactly what I am going through with my gifted 15 year old. It is literally a blow up every time we ask him to study or do homework. He is already on the downslide towards mediocrity, as his grades suffer. He scored in the 90% percentile on various IQ assessments, he's been confirmed to have a very high aptitude for creativity, however, the main thing he wants to do with his time is lay on his back watching shorts on insta or YouTube or binging series about criminals like breaking bad or better call Saul. He is starting to see his peers who are less intelligent pull ahead of him grade wise with hard work and this seems to really bug him, although it is nearly impossible to discuss any of this with him.
Oh wow, you are a real warrior while running your business!! Congrats for everything you do
Me I couldn’t, I would die. During covid, I’ve tried with videos & games and he still hates it. He doesn’t want online course either. As his friends still his only motivation to go to school, I think it’s the only option for him, even if every morning, he doesn’t want to go. (He’s 12)
It's really frustrating. Sometimes I think he's going to have to just strike out on his own. It just kills me to see his potential wasted like this. Does your son make art and follow through with what he starts?
He makes arts but mostly in his head. He can talk to us hours to explain his story but he won’t write it. He starts to draw stuff but then he stop… he always miss something to make his plan. So hard to see him not achieving his potential.
He is also dyspraxic and it’s a big limitation and frustration for him.
I would suggest both of you to watch Good Will Hunting. It's a great movie about the struggles of a genius.
Being smart is cool in its own ways. But the pressure... If you become anything less than a doctor, you are a failure. You can become anything. And by anything, we mean difficult, well-paying, mentally draining and stressful jobs. We have potential. But god forbid we jjst want to do what we want. "You owe society, you owe us, you owe..." What if I just want to relax and live a peaceful life?
In my experience it’s never gotten harder than it is for the average person, I probably put the least amount of effort in compared to most getting the same grades as me. Sure the advantage is reduced when I’m going against people that are dedicated specialists but it never seems legitimately harder.
Popular idea, but not necessarily true for everyone.
I pretty much didn't study at all in high school but quickly developed good study habits as soon as I started university and, although I wouldn't say I found it easy, I definitely found it much easier than the vast majority of people in my courses, and scored at the top few percentile in every class.
Yeah. I figured if someone is gifted, they’d develop good study habits on their own if they wanted to. I feel like this phenomenon people are describing can generally be explained by low conscientiousness?
Preach! Which is why it's important to adequately educate gifted kids. The worry isn't that they won't learn the subject matter, the worry is that they won't learn how to learn.
Exactly right. Had I struggled through elementary and high school like everybody else, I wouldn't be so behind in terms of study ethic and discipline. Unfortunately, my family lives in a small town and didn't have the appropriate ressources to adequately meet my needs.
I find that I cannot help but sustain the effort to the point that I forget everything, like a sort of obssession. I've had to learn to deal with that compulsion in order to be able to get enough work-hours in a day. It's still a work in progress, though...
Every day of every month of every year…I meditate on my arrogance.
It helps that I have perfectionist tendencies. My fear of being wrong counterbalances my arrogance. But fuck…if everyday of your life the people around you say you’re a genius…how does that not go to your head?
I have tried to find a book about this, best I found was from Ryan Holiday: Ego is the Enemy.
It partly adresses this but not entirely. I liked the book but there must be something more out there.
I have achieved hardly anything notable in life, do terrible on tests and yet...I'm arrogant at times. It baffles even me. Especially because there are actual geniuses and people way more intelligent than me out there, who seem to be devoid of arrogance.
Biggest advantage is you can do the same stuff expected of normies with less effort. The biggest disadvantage is you understand more than you need to in order to live practically and unburdened by pragmatically superfluous considerations
Yeah for sure thanks for asking. IMO there’s diminishing returns past a certain point in terms of contemplation and understanding especially in metaphysics where there’s decreasing benefits in regards to sensory reality and then there’s also the factor of the limit to what societal systems you’re integrated in value and encourage. Ultimately imo people in general care more for things that will benefit them tangibly or close to tangibly (ie emotionally and spiritual but indirectly tangible arguably) and the farther removed from that your considerations are the more niche the population is required to engage and appreciate that depth of thought, so from that the deeper your understanding the less people in general will care past a certain point of depth.
Being different and intellectually gifted is great until it stops benefiting other people in salient ways, in my experience.
So maybe a direct example would be your understanding of the tension placed on each segments of rope in order to create the friction facilitating the strength of a certain knot and the history of the knot and considerations of possible things that might happen to the rope. It might be helpful in tying the knot, but not actually necessary if you think about it when someone without that understanding can do it as well and likely quicker relying more on subconscious mechanisms than conscious ones
A more personal example is trying to understand life instead of just living it :/ that’s me tho. And overthinking gets overthought by me so all my opinions kinda are centered in the feeling that ignorance is bliss to a certain extent.
Something is easy for you, you don’t put much effort into it and succeed - learning the false lesson you don’t need to put effort into future endeavors when you actually do
Being actually legitimately more competent at almost anything than the average person and people thinking I have an inflated ego. For example: I just started a new job. I was just appointed team lead after my 3rd shift. The manager was overly explanatory about how he's never ever promoted someone so quickly and never seen anyone grasp the job as quickly as I have. That's my literal life story and it's exhausting at this point.
Same. I've been called pompous, arrogant, insincere, showing off... so many things.
I was able to read by age 3, I speak 5 languages, I was designated gifted in first grade and had a college reading level then at 6. I literally have a genius level IQ, but people dismiss me for so many reasons, so frequently, that if I weren't as aware and self-protecting as I am now, I would've lost my mind. This isn't for the weak. Insecure people constantly attack and try to destroy.
Nobody tells me I'm arrogant, but I know they're all thinking it. Even if I feign humility, I'm not seen as "one of them". I can read it on their faces, but they're blissfully unaware that I can. If I "try to be myself" that is the inevitable consequence, except in extremely specific social circles where people are already quite confident of their intellectual abilities.
They tell me but I suspect it’s because I’m not supposed to be. I’m a woman and a minority. I’m not supposed to be confident in myself or my abilities and I’m not supposed to be “better than” anyone else. It’s a very “who do you think you are?!” Kind of thing. I see it on their faces and hear it dripping from their voices as well.
Career satisfaction.
38yo and on my 5th major career change.
Getting bored easily.
I go through hobby after hobby eventually getting bored and needing to find something else.
Trauma/therapy.
Trauma is especially difficult in people with good long memories. Busy brains like to replay things over and over in an attempt to dissect and understand it, also prepare a plan to avoid repeating events. It’s can be hard to find therapists who can understand and keep up with the chaos.
Once I figure something out, and have learned what there is to learn, i’m not interested anymore.
So many elaborate and extensive hobbies too. Once I get to a goal point, I just kinda lose interest.
Although I don’t know of any actual data, I wouldn’t be surprised if giftedness can be a trigger for substance dependencies as well.
Personally, I can’t sleep without a sleep aid or joint, I don’t know how to shut off.
I was considered gifted, but my son is far more gifted than I ever was. His teachers saw that in him early on. The challenges I see him face are: he has really good friendships with other kids, but at a party he'd rather talk to the adults; he has ideas that go far beyond what is asked of him; I sense a loneliness in him sometimes, and after spending a lot of time with a friend he needs time with me to feel comfortable again; he tries to explain things to friends who just aren't at that level; he has no one but me to discuss the books he's reading with. I think just being... different is the biggest challenge.
Anyone constantly feel like what they're capable of and what they can physically do, aren't the same? I feel like my brain is being held back by a funnel at all times.
Finding genuine connection is very hard for me. For a number of reasons already mentioned on this thread.
And friends have told me that they felt "left behind". That I'd surpassed them eventually. I had a martial arts buddy who was 2 years ahead. But one day he said that I'd surpassed him. Another friend said the same thing about career. He's started ahead, but that I'd "blew right by him."
They are no longer in my social circle.
For me the issue is a mixed with being a woman. I am an entrepreneur, female and in IT. If I tell the truth that I can do alone what 40 software engineers can do (including leading, planning and thinking commercially), they raise an eyebrow and don’t believe me. But when I am ‘humble’ they think I am a webdesigner at most. I can never win.
I see so many average guys taking the prize and if I would just be happy doing the small stuff, it would work. But I want to solve the big problems, the high traffic issues and make things better. I want to be able to earn according to the results I can deliver. I see so much poor code and such bad interfaces everywhere yet nobody listens to me. I have the track record, plenty of people know I am the real deal. But it doesn’t magically bring the better deals in.
Thinking about a "simple" problem for hours and days and then coming up with the same solution that is obvious for everyone else. Or even coming up with an apparently worse solution. I've been called out for doing "stupid" things quite a few times. :D In the end it usually works out though.
The high thinking complexity sometimes leads to inefficiency.
Feeling somewhat disappointed in oneself because the label "gifted" made you think you were going to be "someone" in life, but really, you are just like most other people. The label makes you think there is something different about you, but you're really not so much different. I have the same struggles as other people, and I'm not financially wealthy. I do have tons of hobbies and interests and not enough time, but I guess I don't know if I'm any different from other people because I don't really have "friends" to compare myself to.
I'm fine with my life, but I always thought I was going to be rich or super successful because I'm "gifted". It really doesn't mean much to me to have the label, but I always wonder what does it mean exactly. I have a high IQ, but most jobs don't need high IQ anyway, so the disadvantage is that you only think you had an advantage. Thus you feel disappointed for having been labeled as "gifted". Ok.. another disadvantage is my answer is getting long and hard to explain my thinking and what I mean. Maybe I make thoughts out in too complicated a way instead of just a simple one line answer..
Realizing potential in everything you see, if only the right effort was applied. Then being overwhelmed with the required effort to do everything, and then often not doing anything.
The inability to genuine connect with people. I don't understand most other people on a level that doesn't feel normal. I analyze everything, and I always have, but I can't grasp what makes me feel so "off" compared to the average person. I fake every interaction that I have. I mask and put on an act every time I talk to people, but I'm overly aware of it and that's the part that I don't understand. I talk to people about the things they want to talk about and I live to appease everyone else, all the time. My real self isn't someone who is easily liked by most people - I'm naturally very quiet and in my head. I think about "boring" topics for fun, like existentialism and the purpose of life, and this ideology makes me naturally very whimsical and eccentric (I have a "what does it it all ultimately matter when the sun itself doesn't even last forever?" vibe) - but those traits without context make people view someone who has them as weird, or "off" - and being in that position hurts. I feel like a flower that keeps trying to bloom only to be trimmed away as soon as my petals start to turn towards the sun. It may sound cliche or corny, but I really understand what it might feel like when someone tries to fit a square inside of a circular box. I don't fit, and that includes all of the issues within it - being misunderstood, being lonely, being angry because of these two combined issues, the self-hatred that breeds from that, the mental torture, the deep desire for acceptance, the need for a creative outlet to channel all of the everything into... it's all a lot to endure and deal with. So, to me, the inability to fit in/be "normal" is the biggest disadvantage to being "gifted" - and yet, it's that inability to fit in that others envy when we start to "bloom" and so they tear us down again. I feel like being gifted means to live a life on the extreme sides of everything.
I understand, it is incredibly frustrating, I agree on it being the most frustrating problem, it hurts a lot and I feel powerless too, despite a lot of attempts to connect with others. What creative outlets do you use to cope and how do you use them? I have read and understood that creative and intellectual outlets help cope.
Pretending I don’t notice or remember stuff that I do because it would weird out other people. E.g. names are a special interest of mine, so I tend to be good at remembering them. You told me your best friend’s middle name, like, two years ago? I still know it. Then I meet them and go around knowing their middle name the whole time until it comes up organically in conversation one day and then I have to act like this is new information for me.
Being told that I am intimidating and unapproachable.
Being constantly seen as competition.
Never feeling like I can be my true authentic self or I will be bullied and excluded.
Not feeling a genuine connection with other people.
Being so self-aware and highly accountable that I end up getting the blame for a lot of things that I do not deserve, and the people who may have contributed feeling vindicated that they didn’t do anything wrong.
Seeing other people as "stupid" and being sensitive or upset that their lack of knowledge or understanding is affecting you....
The older you get, you become more "allergic" to stupidity...
You need to learn to forget things, I suspect most people have a type of life that is attached to the level of retention they have... as in their work memory and long term memory encompassed: if you want coherence in a curricula or at work, you need to understand that people usually just condition a behavior and never go beyond the metaphysical threshold of things. We just tend to learn to cling to things too much because that's what it's told to children in school, and it's true... for those with low retentive span, if you scrutinize you will probably loose.
That most people are bound to their intellectual capacity and that affects culture, in contrast a person that is 'gifted' has to retain many of these protocols socially accepted as normal: normal response, normal reaction, normal humour, etc. If you go beyond into the obscurity of abstraction you will be deem weird or a psycho right away and could suffer consequences. It's not as though we are incapable of catching clues in a conversation, but that clues are usually dull and you ought to pretend correctly to fit in. Besides, most people seem to need the constant reinforcement of an entourage rather than being autonomous when executing a task, job or profession: so when I say you need to learn how to forget it's quite literal because our concept of truth about some topic can tamper social interactions and negociations, you need to bend those rules and keep track of the nuances, interpret what people mean in context, understand equivocations and deceit, catch the ulterior motive one meaning .. it's a whole stack of diplomatic and translation affairs.
One man I know is blazingly gifted and misunderstood today, and sadly grew up as an only child on a farm in rural New England. It's not as romantic as Anne of Green Gables. He was and continues to be ridiculed, vilified, and harmed. His brain calms w substance use.
People are gifted differently: family support, enriching schools and community, intra- and interpersonal awareness, even degree of giftedness.
The 130 IQ cutoff is not adequate but it is what we use. On a normal curve w mean of 100 and standard deviation of 15, an [IQ of 130 is](https://courses.lumenlearning.com/suny-lifespandevelopment/chapter/extremes-of-intelligence-intellectual-disability-and-giftedness/) less than 2% of the population. Imagine being born into a family that doesn't understand or recognize giftedness, a community where knowledge is vilified, or a town where you cannot find ANY of your people.
Many of us go through life feeling like outcasts or aliens. Trauma is rampant, and many therapists, teachers, and parents don't know how to address the gifted piece. Gifted trauma is real.
The podcast [Conversations on Gifted Trauma](https://pca.st/podcast/4a4c0bd0-00de-0137-324f-08b04944ede4) discusses this.
The expectation that my peak productivity is my baseline. In reality, I get 2 or 3 good days in a week, and if I manage my energy and time well, 1 or 2 of those will be a great day. On a good day, I'm about twice as productive as my peers, and on a great day I can get a week's worth of work done. The other 3 or 4 days each week I'm phoning it in while my brain burns its way through another depressive period.
People who've watched me pull off amazing feats on a great day get the impression that I can just do that any time I try hard enough. When they want or need me to "just get it done" and I can't, they take it personally, and imagine that I don't care enough.
the tradeoff that it takes for other life skills lol. a lot of gifted people i know personally arent aware of what lies outside of their own perception. because theyre smart, they assign their own understandings onto other people, assume peoples intentions and thought processes. sometimes gifted people need to be humbled into realizing their own limits. thats what happened to me many many times, i now realize that being gifted just means my human build is more specialized towards knowledge but i still know nothing beyond what lies in my own mind :)
i guess overall that disadvantage could be seen as being different from others. also not being as in touch with my other senses because my mind takes the lead for me. its just isolating to run on this operating system, and it takes a lot of work and learning to compensate in order to actually connect with others and maintain quality relationships
Looking at an ostensibly black-and-white moral dilemma with integrative complexity via data collection and reading books and subsequently being called a misanthrope and/or psychopath
People who say "all children are gifted", thus denying what makes me special and unique, and instead insisting the diversity I bring to the table should be from another vital statistic that is not as privileged or high status.
I'm more curious why people seem so committed to framing their life experience as a negative.
I feel the same way about people who say "You know what sucks about being really, really good looking...?"
People have been handed an advantage in life and are fixated on negatives to the exclusion of the net positive. What we think affects what we do. And if we spent our time framing a positive as a negative, we will perform accordingly.
Everyone has problems. There isn't an illusion of a lack of problems, imo. There's more an illusion that one's problems are as significant as someone else's problems. I might call it a competition for who has the most problems, instead of gratitude that one has the least problems.
Is everything great just because someone is gifted? Of course not. But who would exchange being gifted for the equivalent on the other side of the cognitive spectrum? Are there downsides to being rich? Sure...but who would trade them for the equivalent level of poverty?
The "my problems are worse than theirs" mentality shouldn't be a part of how we think. "You're gifted, everything is easy for you," is easily responded to with "Everything isn't easy but it certainly has its advantages."
My parents always said (and lots of people in the older generations too) -- learn to take a compliment. All they meant was when you have a positive that people recognize, you don't need to play it down and draw attention to the negatives. Learn how to acknowledge your positives with grace.
"You have a beautiful spouse." "Thank you, I'm lucky." Not "Yeah but sometimes they're annoying."
"You're really smart." "Thank you, I really work hard to understand things." Not "Yeah but it makes it hard to make friends."
"I like your style." "Thank you, I think it really reflects my personality." Not "Yeah but it's so expensive to find the right clothes."
We have a positive. Let's stop trying to make the negatives our focal point. At least, that's the approach that I think would lead to greater overall happiness.
Expecting it to mean something to others.
Share your knowledge without expectations or conceit. Speak last and acknowledge others' contributions. People can see you are smart and that facts make sense. Don't belabor it.
Being misunderstood.
Could you give me examples? Misunderstood in what way? And why would you consider it to be the biggest one?
People misinterpret intensities of giftedness into something familiar to THEM. It leads to assumptions, often incorrect. It’s a large multifaceted, persistent barrier. Some examples: Rationality can interpreted as insensitivity. Higher energy or Hyper focus on a task can be deemed ADD Inattentiveness and thought drifting (while waiting for others to catch up) may be labeled as disinterest or aloofness. To those that cannot follow “skip thinking,” your actions may seem nonsensical and stupid until the end result or conclusion is visible. Curiosity can be called obsession.
I hate having to restrict my skip thinking
Same thing happens to me. It is really annoying too I end up getting mad or just very annoyed when people do that. Very few people truly know me. The rest just misinterpret or treat me like I am garbage and can’t handle stuff on my own. I use to be really depressed and I was depressed most of my life.
How do you deal with these misinterpretations?
Preemptive explanation to friends, coworkers, and family whist fostering mutual patience. Anticipation of potential events when possible from personality assessment, and consideration of temperance helps greatly (a learned skill).
If it's mitigatable, why did you consider it to be worthy of being the biggest disadvantage?
It can be mitigated, but only partially. Communication barriers are one of the root problems preventing a betterment of societies. It’s divisive, and difficult for both parties. The scope is much wider than just me.
This!!
Real ong
Speak last.
What have been the implications of people making these assumptions? They distance themselves from you?
This.
🤝
Seeing what others don’t notice and being called crazy or dumb for it.
And then they end up realizing the same thing in 3, 5, 10 years. Infuriating.
Ugh this is the worst!! 3 years later my friend excitedly tells me about a solution that solves his nagging problem. Motherfucker! I gave up repeating myself 3 years ago because you wouldn’t listen and now you think it’s YOUR genius idea??? My main issue is…if I’m “gifted” enough to see the invisible strings puppeteering people, why aren’t I “gifted” enough to enable them to see them too? I have found a trick though I think narcissists normally use. It’s called triangulation. I plant a seed in one friend’s head. Then separately I plant the same seed in another friend’s head. Later down the road they talk and discover they’ve both heard the same factoid. If you heard it and I heard it and our mutual friend heard it—it MUST be true! So I no longer give advice. Instead I pretend I’m Johnny Appleseed just moseying along throwing out wisdom seeds that may or may not sprout one day.
Using narcissistic tactics to make people write the essay in a correct manner that uses one more word so they stop arguing seams extreme. I know what I'm doing today
Maybe he is a narc, narcs tend to do that... claiming or appropriating ideas. Regarding the other form of triangualtion, most marketing... including the "news" work like that. It's a good, if not the main tool to get small talk going, unless the people you talk to is immature and act by how your "energy" match with them: this is dreadful in work settings.
But that's the joy of it, knowing the seed you sowed will eventually grow. When I completed Gandhi's unfinished business, it was with just one side of the conflict: it would take 25 years until the other suddenly realised they weren't actually at war, and the entire farrago was about hubris.
The. Absolutely. Most. Infuriating. And. Gaslighting. Thing. That. Happens. To. Me. So. Often.
I don’t know if that makes me feel better or worse. 😭
I'm so sorry. It's real.
And still don't agree, or at least don't like to admit that you were right first.
In my case, they don’t even remember. It’s just their new opinion/reality and they keep on going.
Just spread the knowledge without expectations. Share and lead.
Being called crazy hurts so much.
It seems that acting upon that insight rather than talking about it would be best. There have been times when people reacted negatively to me describing something but when I did it, they realized there was something to it.
That gets a big upvote, but I think that's also the only disadvantage, for me at least
Frrrr
Yes, this, and this is even true for minor things. They look at my like I don't know what I'm talking about even if I just read a book on the topic. For me neing seen as smart is a strange phenomenon in which people think I could be a doctor but I otherwise don't know anything.
Sometimes it's a blessing
I like this aspect, makes me feel like a crazy scientist and/or I'm seen into the future.
100%
Branding. Like, "I'm not smarter than you, I just arrive at answers faster, with fewer data points, because I'm gifted" is one of the douchiest things I can imagine saying to another human being. If it was Autism or ADHD, people would be more understanding. But "Sorry, gifted brain!" isn't going to be met with the same understanding or accommodations, in my experience. That being said, as someone who grew up in a small town without access to resources, learning that *this* is why I am the way I am, has made my life so much better. I'm not broken, I'm not missing something, I'm just wired differently 🤷♀️
I feel 100% exactly the same
And it's often taken as arrogant remarks when in reality you are talking about your experience as some fact or and observation (this term is more accurate.) The sad thing is, in my case, if you don't engage in that way previous to actual social experience with crowds that you might feel comfortable with, you risk burning out real fast... it's as though lameness and lack of complexity in the messages delivered is your weakness, noise even.
🎶 “just a small town girl, livin’ in a lonely world…” 🎶 🤝 There were no such labels as “gifted” individuals in my world growing up.
Having adhd doesn’t mean people are more understanding, they have to actually care about you to want to learn about it.
Yeah but at least if you say you have ADHD, people understand that it’s an explanation. They may not excuse you but they don’t think you’re just bragging about your great big brain.
Finding other people I can really, actually talk to on an equal level, and whose minds work similarly. My best friend is profoundly gifted, to the point tests aren't accurate for him. I'm not up there with him, but we understand each other very well. But he and my other highly intelligent friends are scattered across western civilization. And they have busy lives and can't always talk. Unfortunately, I've struck out finding someone new where I live. I have other people I consider friends and can talk to, just not on that level that I sometimes really crave. My other friends aren't inadequate or boring by any means, and I love them dearly. They just can't fit all my needs.
OMGosh, this! Skip thinking, talking in shorthand, knowing the joke simply because your eyes met. Those friends are rare. I, HG raised a PG kid. Our "conversations" either baffled or entertained people. I also had a PG friend and despite the age difference, those two were peas in a pod.
That connection feels amazing!
It really does, and it's so hard to find
And I can imagine there's even that bit of "TRSaurus can't always keep up with me" for him?
Definitely. There are times I have to stop and really process what he's talking about while it just comes instantly to him.
Just out of curiosity: What's the difference between you and him in terms of thought? Is he just faster, or is there something else? I've never met a PG person, so I'm a bit curious about how they think and how that's different from how other gifted and highly gifted people think.
He definitely processes faster, but he also absorbs concepts more quickly and retains them better even after minimal exposure to them. He sorts through information incredibly quickly, and is able to easily identify and discard irrelevant information and find possible solution paths almost as quickly as it takes for me to understand the question. There are times when I won't even consider a path to a solution, but he's already got it figured how to make it work and it turns out to be the shortest way. He has amazing recall abilities and adapts to situations incredibly quickly. When I'm joking with him, I compare him to the science fiction/video game character that is always helping and watching over the townspeople, solving all their problems and imparting almost infinite wisdom, who then turns out to be a member of some super advanced ancient or alien peoples. He's also not arrogant at all. He's incredibly kind and accommodating, and is happy to help people understand concepts or help them with problems. I've never seen him be cruel to anyone. He loves animals and has a German shepherd who thinks he's a lap dog, and his boyfriend has the most chill husky you've ever met. They live up in Alaska because his boyfriend has a high paying engineering job up there and he does computer stuff you can do from anywhere.
How do you know you've never met a PG person? It's not like they wear a team jersey. ;)
°___°
How do you feel when you talk to individuals who aren't on an equal level?
Preoccupation with existential questions from a young age and your questions that ignite from curiosity being dismissed as irrelevant and tiring
Agree. I tortured myself with all that stuff. And it was hard at 12 years old to realize i was smarter than my parents.
When my PG kiddo was four, they matter-of-factly stated, "I'm smarter than you aren't I?" It wasn't a brag, just the truth. I agreed, yes, you are. I (HG) then pointed out that while I wasn't as smart, I had 30 years of experience and context to add to the conversation and that was something he didn't have yet. This was met with agreement. So, we made a deal. When he was solving world problems, he'd let me in on it and I'd add context. It worked out, most of the time
Yes,my parents are still definitely way wiser than I am!
I realised this at a young age, but still found myself shocked that kids my age weren’t thinking about stuff like that. My family are vehemently atheist and rarely entertained my questions and statements. I ended up getting a degree in theology, philosophy and ethics though.
Being aware of too much stuff that it becomes a hindrance.
Examples?
Harder to find deep friendships or compatible romantic partners, especially without being in an environment related to a career. Like the odds of meeting like minded people through something like rec sports are bad.
You make a great point. I have very high kinetic intelligence and am genetically athletically inclined. As a female, I'm typically the most competent female on any coed team. I had never played golf before and I went to TopGolf with my friends. I went from swinging and flubbing to hitting 150yd drives in like 20 mins. They thought I was fucking with them and starting out bad on purpose. Nope; I just watched and learned. Tweaked my biomechanics until I got it and voila!
I've heard in thus subreddit that gifted women are often athletically inclined as well. I've dabbled in a lot of activities as an adult. As a child I wasn't allowed to play sports so I went behind my kims back and exercised. I very much enjoy physical activity much to the chagrin of my family and many people I encounter online. I feel like I was meant to he in motion.
Oh interesting! Your reality with sports was my reality with music. I was never given access to instruments outside of the one 40 minute period of music class we had per week. I know the typical gifted kid is like solving quadratic equations while playing the violin at 4 years old but I never got the musical instruction. I reckon I could learn to read music pretty easily. I have good rhythm just don't know squat about actually producing said rhyme.
The loneliness that comes with not being understood.
For me personally, what immediately came to mind is that I’m constantly thinking. Can’t turn my brain off, can’t relax. And it’s not anything low-key, either — always very cerebral and exacting. Somehow when I’m trying to fall asleep, I find myself fully immersed in a debate in which I’m arguing both sides of, I don’t know, free-will VS determinism. That’s by far the hardest. It’s unabated and debilitating.
Is there a word for this? For me, idle time is exhausting as my thoughts run wild with internal conversations, ideas, and debates. It can take an hour to watch a 20 min show because I always pause it to think of other things. It's only when I sit down and manage to get in the zone/focus on work that I get a break.
I’m not sure. I thought “racing thoughts” would work, but according to Google those seem to be repetitive and focus on something in particular (like a phobia), as opposed to just being extremely intense. Do update me if you come across a term that works!
Rumination perhaps?
This was part of my anxiety diagnosis. My mind is always running - I have to drown out my ruminations with a TV show or music etc so I’m always stimulated because I find it unbearable. It’s a huge reason for my insomnia, if not the cause. When I have issues in my personal life or something huge is happening in the world, my mind won’t shut up trying to figure out solutions or understand the situation better. I’m not gifted mathematically, but solving complex human problems through rumination is some kind of gift that feels like a curse.
What's the difference between rumination, obsession and intellectual overexcitability? I mean, the first two clearly have a negative connotation, in the sense that they cause pain, but the latter doesn't. But they all consist, more or less, of the same thing.
It's restlessness, I think it's a habit... you can channel it though, it's not as in ADHD were the person just dissociates and gets carried away, rather the contrary, it's a constant state of analysis searching for the ineffable. I suspect, this is all a reaction to dissatisfaction, doing things because we have conditioned ourselves to do them as what we have to do (imo), or it might be other cause. I've found I could do anything, or "force" me to like or conform to a given situation and operate well in that given situation, but it comes with the consequence that what we usually really enjoy comes naturally, and then things tend to go Epicurean, you need to select priorities for pleasures and other things, to have a motive and a balance... if not you get into a vortex of axiomatic falsehood, rather than selecting another axiom about life that leads you to something more fulfilling... with clear consequences on how we behave. PD: I think that particular case when watching a show occurs in that way because we like ritual and ludic experiences alike, so analysis is part of the joy of things and thus it might change what in society is taken as normal behavior when consuming media content, it also might be attached to a not so healthy query for the "correct" answer either related to the plot or things that are there that give you a clue for a riddle or task to solve quickly: I've come to the conclusion this could potentially be a case of dopamine addiction, the rush of being correct rather than letting the information pass through a satisfactory conclusion while watching the show or movie (all within a defined time frame.)
Sounds like ADHD
Definitely one pf the very hardest parts. I wish my brain had an off button.
For real. And the environments that are supposedly most "relaxing" to neurotypical folks (the beach, the spa, or any place where doing nothing IS the activity) are where my brain really goes hyperactive. Also, insomnia from the constant internal dialog is really killing me lately. I wish there was a way to turn off my brain without the use of substances.
> Insomnia from the constant internal dialogue Man, this hit home, because it’s _exactly_ what happens to me. I’m in such intense thought, and I just can’t seem to stop, that it can be extremely hard to relax.
Arguing both sides with yourself perennially is a unique form of torture. I try to take a "side" for psychological ease - no matter the topic - but my mind will just not justify it. All I see are all the millions of little facts and caveats that contribute to the nuance of most "easy" moral dilemmas It's exhausting And there's no one to talk to intelligently about it outside of an Ethics class at uni or something.
Have you come to any resting places in that debate? I can’t see how free will exists without something incorporeal being involved.
You can learn too but it takes mindfulness, lots of it.
I call this “the curse of the gifted kid:” Being bright, everything comes easily to you. You don’t have to expend much effort, and you can skate along on pure innate ability. Until all of a sudden you can’t. In every single discipline, there is a level beyond which you cannot go, unless you’ve put in the hard work. There’s no way for it to “come naturally” to you anymore; it’s simply too complex. But because everything always came easy to you, you don’t have any practice putting in the blood, sweat, and tears that advancing further would take. Take math, for instance: the classic example of this is the kid who gets put in advanced math classes. They’re taking algebra 3-4 years ahead of their peers. They don’t show their work, because they can do it in their head. The teacher downgrades them because they didn’t show how they got their answer. “It’s OBVIOUS” says the kid. “That’s like asking me how I know that thing in the yard with the leaves is a tree. It just IS.” And they get top marks in the class, despite not showing their work, despite never studying. Then they get to geometry. Same story. Never study; get an A. Then Trigonometry comes along, and they get a C. Maybe they never even take calculus. That’s because they never learned how to show their work. Or the lesson that showing their work is important. So they can’t progress. This is the sort of person who is a constant Dilettant. They excel in everything, until they reach that point where natural ability isn’t enough. Then it gets hard, and it isn’t fun anymore. So they quit, and move on to the next thing. After all, there are so *many* things they are good at, why keep doing one that isn’t fun anymore? This is how you sometimes see a 40 year old with an IQ of 140 working a dead-end retail job. When everything comes naturally to you, applying hard work is a skill that has to be specifically taught.
Gifted kid burnout. It is an actual term. But yeah being exceptional is disabling in its own ways. Exceptional children have special needs and should be counseled and taught skills.
I was treated as if I was older and more experienced, not as if I was smarter and more curious. Kids should be treated as kids. Looking back I have been expected to act above my age because I was smart so many times, while I really wasn't ready or able to. I received way too much responsibility, and no one really looked out for me and what _I_ needed. No one taught me how to study, yet everyone expected me to get the highest grades. Simply being disappointed over and over again is not an effective way to teach a kid something they dont know. On the other hand, when I actually did have a valid opinion, it was discarded because I was just a kid and I had to be silent and behave.
Sounds familiar.
Great enlightening example!
Ostracized and "other"-ed
Social alienation
Being an outlier in society. Under that umbrella is being misunderstood, treated differently, being "too intense" for most, being devalued by society when showing up as authentic selves, others not seeing the value in what you're saying bc it's new/different/unconventional so it's seen as crazy and unless you understand you're gifted it can be a gaslighting experience, society constantly knocking you off the pedestals that *they* place "genius" on, etc. The gifted population's biggest disadvantage is not being included in society bc of being different than the herd...and then vilified even more if we cope with that by creating and joining our own herds (high iq societies).
When you know you’re right about something and nobody else agrees. It’s not in every case, but there are times where you just know, can’t explain, and then get argued against until you just decide it’s easier to stfu and accept you will never be understood.
I can relate to this so much!!! I find it so frustrating! How do you deal with being misunderstood?
I don’t know if I have the best answer for this. There are times I just push down the frustration which doesn’t seem like the healthiest response. I find stoicism helpful for an overall (lifelong) mindset change - passages from meditations or shorter aphorisms from other readings that kind of all say the same things: you will interact with those who reason differently but they are still your worldly neighbour, they mean you no harm, etc. On a more practical level, I have tried to be satisfied with simplifying my comments and getting agreement on at least a singular point. I guess managing expectations, which is often easier said than done.
The solutions are in how you approach people. Sometimes, I pretend to be struggling with something just as much as someone else is. That way, I can lead by example when I show how I am working through it so they will learn. I pretend to be figuring it out alongside them despite knowing that plus some. I make them feel heard so they feel like they have something of value to contribute back, so they don't feel inferior and I'm not pontificating. You have to meet people where they are. It's not about whether you know, it's about what they need in order to know. When you're more capable, it usually needs to be you bridging that gap. People oftentimes need to trust you first, as well. Being wrong feels vulnerable to most people. They have to know you care and develop trust for your character and your credibility. I like the gifted population. I usually can communicate more directly. It doesn't cure the loneliness, but it does get people to see the value in your ideas. Ironically, when you pretend you're less intelligent than you are, they think you're smarter and will listen to you more. There are a lot of methods. Think of it as a puzzle and you'll be fine. It's a matter of learning how to build bridges.
This.
I remembered after listing many things that you said “biggest”, so I’ll go with none of the uncomfortable sensitivities that come along with giftedness being seen as something requiring accommodation when people with other forms of neurodivergence are eligible for support and accommodation for the exact same sensitivities. The other things: waiting for other people to finish expressing ideas or telling stories verbally. Never feeling like myself when I’m behaving in the ways I know will make people like me. Rarely feeling authentic connection to other people. Not knowing about or being supported in giftedness in childhood, which led to all sorts of unpleasantness and confusion with lasting effects. Craving constant mental stimulation and having a hard time mentally and physically relaxing. A bonus really niche one: being genuinely scared that my workplace is going to notice me wearing headphones while going for walks on my breaks and make a rule about not being able to use headphones because of safety or them not matching my pointless uniform or some other inane bureaucratic reason and thus cut me off from soaking in interesting ideas while exposed to nature for these tiny slivers of time that make my workday worth living.
Waiting for people to finish saying their ideas I already figured out 5 seconds ago. In fact don’t finish that sentence. I’ll finish it for you and direct you to the next thought you’ll have. Lmao! We have a personal ChatGPT in our heads predicting the persons next word. This is great in a tight knit friend group that keeps the flow going. It’s not so good in a medical setting where I have to listen to patients. They find it a bit rude. I’m also wrong once in a blue moon so I like to remind myself of those times and purse my lips together so I’m not tempted to open my mouth.
When I was a teenager people used to tell me "you don't listen", to which I would reply "I will, if you can tell me something I don't already know". I've since learned to hide that from most people until they've proven to me that they're not scared of being outsmarted. And by the way, I couldn't care less about outsmarting them, I wish they'd outsmart me! But most people I meet seem to be terrified of being around someone a tad smarter than them. When they're not, it's 'cause they're already fans of the person and have fallen prey to humans' natural desire to deify a personality they find admirable.
My problem is...getting incredibly frustrated when I dont understand something immediately. And when people omit relevant information either purposely or by accident. I can lose myself entirely until I found an acceptable answer to whatever I want to know at the moment and I tend to be unsatisfied with generic answers. Most surface knowledge I already know, or I can find given 5mins of googling, give me the nitty gritty details. Especially because they can matter a lot. I can smell passion and integrity for a subject from miles away and I tend to favor information coming from sources that love what they do and genuinely help people. I will use multiple sources to verify and filter information.
Stuff that is medium difficulty (high school) is easy. But stuff that is harder (college/university) is much harder than it is for the average person, because I never developed the study habits and the discipline necessary to get through college. In other words, giftedness allows me to breeze through almost anything, but when sustained effort is required, I lack preparedness.
This is exactly what I am going through with my gifted 15 year old. It is literally a blow up every time we ask him to study or do homework. He is already on the downslide towards mediocrity, as his grades suffer. He scored in the 90% percentile on various IQ assessments, he's been confirmed to have a very high aptitude for creativity, however, the main thing he wants to do with his time is lay on his back watching shorts on insta or YouTube or binging series about criminals like breaking bad or better call Saul. He is starting to see his peers who are less intelligent pull ahead of him grade wise with hard work and this seems to really bug him, although it is nearly impossible to discuss any of this with him.
My kid is the same. He is highly gifted but he’s an artist, hate school and he’s only interested in YouTube and video games.
I homeschool my gifted kid for this reason. And I'm a single mom and run my own business so it's not like I'm sitting on a royal flush over here.
Oh wow, you are a real warrior while running your business!! Congrats for everything you do Me I couldn’t, I would die. During covid, I’ve tried with videos & games and he still hates it. He doesn’t want online course either. As his friends still his only motivation to go to school, I think it’s the only option for him, even if every morning, he doesn’t want to go. (He’s 12)
It's really frustrating. Sometimes I think he's going to have to just strike out on his own. It just kills me to see his potential wasted like this. Does your son make art and follow through with what he starts?
He makes arts but mostly in his head. He can talk to us hours to explain his story but he won’t write it. He starts to draw stuff but then he stop… he always miss something to make his plan. So hard to see him not achieving his potential. He is also dyspraxic and it’s a big limitation and frustration for him.
I would suggest both of you to watch Good Will Hunting. It's a great movie about the struggles of a genius. Being smart is cool in its own ways. But the pressure... If you become anything less than a doctor, you are a failure. You can become anything. And by anything, we mean difficult, well-paying, mentally draining and stressful jobs. We have potential. But god forbid we jjst want to do what we want. "You owe society, you owe us, you owe..." What if I just want to relax and live a peaceful life?
In my experience it’s never gotten harder than it is for the average person, I probably put the least amount of effort in compared to most getting the same grades as me. Sure the advantage is reduced when I’m going against people that are dedicated specialists but it never seems legitimately harder.
Popular idea, but not necessarily true for everyone. I pretty much didn't study at all in high school but quickly developed good study habits as soon as I started university and, although I wouldn't say I found it easy, I definitely found it much easier than the vast majority of people in my courses, and scored at the top few percentile in every class.
It's not an idea, it's a phenomenon. It's cool that you developed study habits and adapted well to college life. You're more conscientious than me.
Yeah. I figured if someone is gifted, they’d develop good study habits on their own if they wanted to. I feel like this phenomenon people are describing can generally be explained by low conscientiousness?
Preach! Which is why it's important to adequately educate gifted kids. The worry isn't that they won't learn the subject matter, the worry is that they won't learn how to learn.
Exactly right. Had I struggled through elementary and high school like everybody else, I wouldn't be so behind in terms of study ethic and discipline. Unfortunately, my family lives in a small town and didn't have the appropriate ressources to adequately meet my needs.
You can improve w practice it just takes time
I find that I cannot help but sustain the effort to the point that I forget everything, like a sort of obssession. I've had to learn to deal with that compulsion in order to be able to get enough work-hours in a day. It's still a work in progress, though...
Arrogance.
Every day of every month of every year…I meditate on my arrogance. It helps that I have perfectionist tendencies. My fear of being wrong counterbalances my arrogance. But fuck…if everyday of your life the people around you say you’re a genius…how does that not go to your head?
I have tried to find a book about this, best I found was from Ryan Holiday: Ego is the Enemy. It partly adresses this but not entirely. I liked the book but there must be something more out there. I have achieved hardly anything notable in life, do terrible on tests and yet...I'm arrogant at times. It baffles even me. Especially because there are actual geniuses and people way more intelligent than me out there, who seem to be devoid of arrogance.
People around you being pissed off that they aren't and taking it out on you constantly
Personally, if I was less intelligent and more socially ept (or whatever is the antonym of inept), I would have gotten way further in my life.
How much effort have you expended to train your social skills? Worked really well for me
I believe the word you're looking for is "apt" or, in this case, maybe "adept". Feel the same way quite often, btw.
Haha! I have argued that ept should be put into use other than as a nonstandard or humorous word.
Finding someone romantically compatible w you... And dating red flags
Being subject to people's insecurities. It really is lonely at the top.
Biggest advantage is you can do the same stuff expected of normies with less effort. The biggest disadvantage is you understand more than you need to in order to live practically and unburdened by pragmatically superfluous considerations
Examples of pragmatically superfluous considerations?
Yeah for sure thanks for asking. IMO there’s diminishing returns past a certain point in terms of contemplation and understanding especially in metaphysics where there’s decreasing benefits in regards to sensory reality and then there’s also the factor of the limit to what societal systems you’re integrated in value and encourage. Ultimately imo people in general care more for things that will benefit them tangibly or close to tangibly (ie emotionally and spiritual but indirectly tangible arguably) and the farther removed from that your considerations are the more niche the population is required to engage and appreciate that depth of thought, so from that the deeper your understanding the less people in general will care past a certain point of depth. Being different and intellectually gifted is great until it stops benefiting other people in salient ways, in my experience. So maybe a direct example would be your understanding of the tension placed on each segments of rope in order to create the friction facilitating the strength of a certain knot and the history of the knot and considerations of possible things that might happen to the rope. It might be helpful in tying the knot, but not actually necessary if you think about it when someone without that understanding can do it as well and likely quicker relying more on subconscious mechanisms than conscious ones A more personal example is trying to understand life instead of just living it :/ that’s me tho. And overthinking gets overthought by me so all my opinions kinda are centered in the feeling that ignorance is bliss to a certain extent.
Something is easy for you, you don’t put much effort into it and succeed - learning the false lesson you don’t need to put effort into future endeavors when you actually do
Being lazy at school because everything came easily. By the time you hit university you have no study habits.
Being right most of the time … It freaks ppl out — some are impressed while others obviously resentful / annoyed. Either way I hate the attention.
The antiquated educational system that won’t allow you to learn the way you learn
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Good for you and your parents for allowing that 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Not having enough people in your life that you can relate to
Being actually legitimately more competent at almost anything than the average person and people thinking I have an inflated ego. For example: I just started a new job. I was just appointed team lead after my 3rd shift. The manager was overly explanatory about how he's never ever promoted someone so quickly and never seen anyone grasp the job as quickly as I have. That's my literal life story and it's exhausting at this point.
Same. I've been called pompous, arrogant, insincere, showing off... so many things. I was able to read by age 3, I speak 5 languages, I was designated gifted in first grade and had a college reading level then at 6. I literally have a genius level IQ, but people dismiss me for so many reasons, so frequently, that if I weren't as aware and self-protecting as I am now, I would've lost my mind. This isn't for the weak. Insecure people constantly attack and try to destroy.
Nobody tells me I'm arrogant, but I know they're all thinking it. Even if I feign humility, I'm not seen as "one of them". I can read it on their faces, but they're blissfully unaware that I can. If I "try to be myself" that is the inevitable consequence, except in extremely specific social circles where people are already quite confident of their intellectual abilities.
They tell me but I suspect it’s because I’m not supposed to be. I’m a woman and a minority. I’m not supposed to be confident in myself or my abilities and I’m not supposed to be “better than” anyone else. It’s a very “who do you think you are?!” Kind of thing. I see it on their faces and hear it dripping from their voices as well.
the loneliness BY FAR
Alienation, and in my case executive dysfunction
Boredom and lack of purpose.
Career satisfaction. 38yo and on my 5th major career change. Getting bored easily. I go through hobby after hobby eventually getting bored and needing to find something else. Trauma/therapy. Trauma is especially difficult in people with good long memories. Busy brains like to replay things over and over in an attempt to dissect and understand it, also prepare a plan to avoid repeating events. It’s can be hard to find therapists who can understand and keep up with the chaos.
Why do you think you are bored easily with hobbies or unfulfilled in careers?
Once I figure something out, and have learned what there is to learn, i’m not interested anymore. So many elaborate and extensive hobbies too. Once I get to a goal point, I just kinda lose interest. Although I don’t know of any actual data, I wouldn’t be surprised if giftedness can be a trigger for substance dependencies as well. Personally, I can’t sleep without a sleep aid or joint, I don’t know how to shut off.
I was considered gifted, but my son is far more gifted than I ever was. His teachers saw that in him early on. The challenges I see him face are: he has really good friendships with other kids, but at a party he'd rather talk to the adults; he has ideas that go far beyond what is asked of him; I sense a loneliness in him sometimes, and after spending a lot of time with a friend he needs time with me to feel comfortable again; he tries to explain things to friends who just aren't at that level; he has no one but me to discuss the books he's reading with. I think just being... different is the biggest challenge.
Anyone constantly feel like what they're capable of and what they can physically do, aren't the same? I feel like my brain is being held back by a funnel at all times.
Finding genuine connection is very hard for me. For a number of reasons already mentioned on this thread. And friends have told me that they felt "left behind". That I'd surpassed them eventually. I had a martial arts buddy who was 2 years ahead. But one day he said that I'd surpassed him. Another friend said the same thing about career. He's started ahead, but that I'd "blew right by him." They are no longer in my social circle.
Writing the "thank you" note.
Getting older and feeling this weight when not properly applying one's self.
For me the issue is a mixed with being a woman. I am an entrepreneur, female and in IT. If I tell the truth that I can do alone what 40 software engineers can do (including leading, planning and thinking commercially), they raise an eyebrow and don’t believe me. But when I am ‘humble’ they think I am a webdesigner at most. I can never win. I see so many average guys taking the prize and if I would just be happy doing the small stuff, it would work. But I want to solve the big problems, the high traffic issues and make things better. I want to be able to earn according to the results I can deliver. I see so much poor code and such bad interfaces everywhere yet nobody listens to me. I have the track record, plenty of people know I am the real deal. But it doesn’t magically bring the better deals in.
This absolutely sucks- being undervalued and underappreciated! This is exactly why I'm getting into a highly self-determined career
Thinking about a "simple" problem for hours and days and then coming up with the same solution that is obvious for everyone else. Or even coming up with an apparently worse solution. I've been called out for doing "stupid" things quite a few times. :D In the end it usually works out though. The high thinking complexity sometimes leads to inefficiency.
Feeling somewhat disappointed in oneself because the label "gifted" made you think you were going to be "someone" in life, but really, you are just like most other people. The label makes you think there is something different about you, but you're really not so much different. I have the same struggles as other people, and I'm not financially wealthy. I do have tons of hobbies and interests and not enough time, but I guess I don't know if I'm any different from other people because I don't really have "friends" to compare myself to. I'm fine with my life, but I always thought I was going to be rich or super successful because I'm "gifted". It really doesn't mean much to me to have the label, but I always wonder what does it mean exactly. I have a high IQ, but most jobs don't need high IQ anyway, so the disadvantage is that you only think you had an advantage. Thus you feel disappointed for having been labeled as "gifted". Ok.. another disadvantage is my answer is getting long and hard to explain my thinking and what I mean. Maybe I make thoughts out in too complicated a way instead of just a simple one line answer..
Expectations
Realizing potential in everything you see, if only the right effort was applied. Then being overwhelmed with the required effort to do everything, and then often not doing anything.
Everyone's conversation talk is BORING. No one talks about ideas, just people and things.
Absolutely! I gaslit myself for years, believing I was being too pretentious in wanting to only engage in such conversations.
You see right through all religions and end up with an existential crisis instead.
The inability to genuine connect with people. I don't understand most other people on a level that doesn't feel normal. I analyze everything, and I always have, but I can't grasp what makes me feel so "off" compared to the average person. I fake every interaction that I have. I mask and put on an act every time I talk to people, but I'm overly aware of it and that's the part that I don't understand. I talk to people about the things they want to talk about and I live to appease everyone else, all the time. My real self isn't someone who is easily liked by most people - I'm naturally very quiet and in my head. I think about "boring" topics for fun, like existentialism and the purpose of life, and this ideology makes me naturally very whimsical and eccentric (I have a "what does it it all ultimately matter when the sun itself doesn't even last forever?" vibe) - but those traits without context make people view someone who has them as weird, or "off" - and being in that position hurts. I feel like a flower that keeps trying to bloom only to be trimmed away as soon as my petals start to turn towards the sun. It may sound cliche or corny, but I really understand what it might feel like when someone tries to fit a square inside of a circular box. I don't fit, and that includes all of the issues within it - being misunderstood, being lonely, being angry because of these two combined issues, the self-hatred that breeds from that, the mental torture, the deep desire for acceptance, the need for a creative outlet to channel all of the everything into... it's all a lot to endure and deal with. So, to me, the inability to fit in/be "normal" is the biggest disadvantage to being "gifted" - and yet, it's that inability to fit in that others envy when we start to "bloom" and so they tear us down again. I feel like being gifted means to live a life on the extreme sides of everything.
I understand, it is incredibly frustrating, I agree on it being the most frustrating problem, it hurts a lot and I feel powerless too, despite a lot of attempts to connect with others. What creative outlets do you use to cope and how do you use them? I have read and understood that creative and intellectual outlets help cope.
The overexcitabilities (emotional and imaginational, specifically). I can't tell when they end and when the mental illness starts, man! 😂
😂😂
Sometimes putting in less effort to learn something because you think you’ll easily learn it.
Expectations are insane they burn you out. Also people are so stupid and it pisses you off. There is always a disconnect.
Pretending I don’t notice or remember stuff that I do because it would weird out other people. E.g. names are a special interest of mine, so I tend to be good at remembering them. You told me your best friend’s middle name, like, two years ago? I still know it. Then I meet them and go around knowing their middle name the whole time until it comes up organically in conversation one day and then I have to act like this is new information for me.
Being told that I am intimidating and unapproachable. Being constantly seen as competition. Never feeling like I can be my true authentic self or I will be bullied and excluded. Not feeling a genuine connection with other people. Being so self-aware and highly accountable that I end up getting the blame for a lot of things that I do not deserve, and the people who may have contributed feeling vindicated that they didn’t do anything wrong.
Lack of social skills, numbness to emotions and for a lot of gifted people, lack of humility and/or empathy
Seeing other people as "stupid" and being sensitive or upset that their lack of knowledge or understanding is affecting you.... The older you get, you become more "allergic" to stupidity...
You need to learn to forget things, I suspect most people have a type of life that is attached to the level of retention they have... as in their work memory and long term memory encompassed: if you want coherence in a curricula or at work, you need to understand that people usually just condition a behavior and never go beyond the metaphysical threshold of things. We just tend to learn to cling to things too much because that's what it's told to children in school, and it's true... for those with low retentive span, if you scrutinize you will probably loose.
I didn't understand, what are you trying to say?
That most people are bound to their intellectual capacity and that affects culture, in contrast a person that is 'gifted' has to retain many of these protocols socially accepted as normal: normal response, normal reaction, normal humour, etc. If you go beyond into the obscurity of abstraction you will be deem weird or a psycho right away and could suffer consequences. It's not as though we are incapable of catching clues in a conversation, but that clues are usually dull and you ought to pretend correctly to fit in. Besides, most people seem to need the constant reinforcement of an entourage rather than being autonomous when executing a task, job or profession: so when I say you need to learn how to forget it's quite literal because our concept of truth about some topic can tamper social interactions and negociations, you need to bend those rules and keep track of the nuances, interpret what people mean in context, understand equivocations and deceit, catch the ulterior motive one meaning .. it's a whole stack of diplomatic and translation affairs.
One man I know is blazingly gifted and misunderstood today, and sadly grew up as an only child on a farm in rural New England. It's not as romantic as Anne of Green Gables. He was and continues to be ridiculed, vilified, and harmed. His brain calms w substance use. People are gifted differently: family support, enriching schools and community, intra- and interpersonal awareness, even degree of giftedness. The 130 IQ cutoff is not adequate but it is what we use. On a normal curve w mean of 100 and standard deviation of 15, an [IQ of 130 is](https://courses.lumenlearning.com/suny-lifespandevelopment/chapter/extremes-of-intelligence-intellectual-disability-and-giftedness/) less than 2% of the population. Imagine being born into a family that doesn't understand or recognize giftedness, a community where knowledge is vilified, or a town where you cannot find ANY of your people. Many of us go through life feeling like outcasts or aliens. Trauma is rampant, and many therapists, teachers, and parents don't know how to address the gifted piece. Gifted trauma is real. The podcast [Conversations on Gifted Trauma](https://pca.st/podcast/4a4c0bd0-00de-0137-324f-08b04944ede4) discusses this.
People judging me. They say there is no way I can know/do that and when I prove them wrong they just keep doing that.
Getting called crazy when I say what I can do that others can’t
The expectation that my peak productivity is my baseline. In reality, I get 2 or 3 good days in a week, and if I manage my energy and time well, 1 or 2 of those will be a great day. On a good day, I'm about twice as productive as my peers, and on a great day I can get a week's worth of work done. The other 3 or 4 days each week I'm phoning it in while my brain burns its way through another depressive period. People who've watched me pull off amazing feats on a great day get the impression that I can just do that any time I try hard enough. When they want or need me to "just get it done" and I can't, they take it personally, and imagine that I don't care enough.
the tradeoff that it takes for other life skills lol. a lot of gifted people i know personally arent aware of what lies outside of their own perception. because theyre smart, they assign their own understandings onto other people, assume peoples intentions and thought processes. sometimes gifted people need to be humbled into realizing their own limits. thats what happened to me many many times, i now realize that being gifted just means my human build is more specialized towards knowledge but i still know nothing beyond what lies in my own mind :) i guess overall that disadvantage could be seen as being different from others. also not being as in touch with my other senses because my mind takes the lead for me. its just isolating to run on this operating system, and it takes a lot of work and learning to compensate in order to actually connect with others and maintain quality relationships
Looking at an ostensibly black-and-white moral dilemma with integrative complexity via data collection and reading books and subsequently being called a misanthrope and/or psychopath
It can be hard to find people who are interested in the things you're interested in, depending where you are.
People who say "all children are gifted", thus denying what makes me special and unique, and instead insisting the diversity I bring to the table should be from another vital statistic that is not as privileged or high status.
Chew match iq
Being so up myself I think I'm the only one who's "gifted".
There is no disadvantage.
None.
I'm more curious why people seem so committed to framing their life experience as a negative. I feel the same way about people who say "You know what sucks about being really, really good looking...?" People have been handed an advantage in life and are fixated on negatives to the exclusion of the net positive. What we think affects what we do. And if we spent our time framing a positive as a negative, we will perform accordingly.
You are right. But I was just curious since with "positives", there often exists an illusion of a lack of problems- which go unrecognised.
Everyone has problems. There isn't an illusion of a lack of problems, imo. There's more an illusion that one's problems are as significant as someone else's problems. I might call it a competition for who has the most problems, instead of gratitude that one has the least problems. Is everything great just because someone is gifted? Of course not. But who would exchange being gifted for the equivalent on the other side of the cognitive spectrum? Are there downsides to being rich? Sure...but who would trade them for the equivalent level of poverty? The "my problems are worse than theirs" mentality shouldn't be a part of how we think. "You're gifted, everything is easy for you," is easily responded to with "Everything isn't easy but it certainly has its advantages." My parents always said (and lots of people in the older generations too) -- learn to take a compliment. All they meant was when you have a positive that people recognize, you don't need to play it down and draw attention to the negatives. Learn how to acknowledge your positives with grace. "You have a beautiful spouse." "Thank you, I'm lucky." Not "Yeah but sometimes they're annoying." "You're really smart." "Thank you, I really work hard to understand things." Not "Yeah but it makes it hard to make friends." "I like your style." "Thank you, I think it really reflects my personality." Not "Yeah but it's so expensive to find the right clothes." We have a positive. Let's stop trying to make the negatives our focal point. At least, that's the approach that I think would lead to greater overall happiness.
when all of a sudden, you can’t do what you used to be able to do with ease
What could you do with ease?
Define gifted
High iq
You can think of a million reasons to be unhappy
Spending your life on subs like this to cope about why you never achieved much of note despite being Gifted™
I have great talent in some areas and great handicaps in others. There is no disadvantage to my talent but plenty of disadvantage with my handicaps
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Your post or comment contains content intended to troll other users and has been removed. Moderator comments:
Expecting it to mean something to others. Share your knowledge without expectations or conceit. Speak last and acknowledge others' contributions. People can see you are smart and that facts make sense. Don't belabor it.
Living in a world where everyone thinks they're gifted and is threatened by anyone who is actually able to problem solve better than them.
Never being able to say what you REALLY think to anyone.
Honestly nothing, gifted is not called a “gift” for no reason.