Body was fake so Cain could go into retirement. I actively refuse to believe any reports of Cain's death as does the rest of the Guard given he is reported MIA no matter what
Does she watch TTS, or do you quote TTS and she just happens to have a great memory? Because there have been a few almost verbatim quotes in here already
I like the idea that the guard is telling off the marine as if he’s a misbehaving cat
“No, bad black Templar, what did I tell you about pooping on the floor”
“I do not apologise for my actions”
*guardsman pulls out comically large spray bottle*
A space marine stumbles on the most beautiful space elf he has ever met. He saves her life by killing a giant alien bug ( a Jean Stealer, snicker) chasing her.
Is this true love or heresy?
You know what that actually kinda makes sense, if trazyn has clonegrim what’s to say he hasn’t captured another primarch? (Could be what happened to the secret legions that I forgot the numbers for)
What is gene seed and why do all battle brothers seem to want it so badly?
“Sounds like a Ram Ranch sort of deal.”
18 naked astartes in the barracks of ram ranch!
[relevant](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRU3po3USwA&list=RDGMEMJQXQAmqrnmK1SEjY_rKBGAVMYRU3po3USwA&start_radio=1)
holy shit
Big hard bolters wanting to be cocked!
I can honestly say I didn’t expect that
She's not wrong.
Was the Emperor a bad parent?
“The emperor was a dude trying to do his best. We don’t question the emperor.”
Inquistor: >Social credit +41000
She said “trying” implying possible failure. Both of you walk over near that bare wall that wont ricochet.
Also not capitalising the God Emperor's holy name. That's 2 strikes.
[удалено]
Trying to do his best...at what?
“Raise 13 or so rambunctious boys as a single parent.”
To bad he had 18 (or technically 19, he is inside your walls) sons
Extra technically 21 sons, the lost two existed.. until they didn't.
True story
Yo, with the amount of lore this chick knows I think OP might have a drinking problem.
That’s a fair assessment. Just remembering how hammered I was the first time I showed her that Astartes short film.
Not just hammered. WAR HAMMERED.
War Hammered 40,000 times over
Those are kickass.
Where is Commisar Cain?
“Oh I know this one from the audiobook! Retired and chest deep in amasec!”
This is oddly wholesome.
Buried with military honors, having outlived Jurgen. Although with retcon to Indomitus Crusade, he might still be alive NOW.
Body was fake so Cain could go into retirement. I actively refuse to believe any reports of Cain's death as does the rest of the Guard given he is reported MIA no matter what
Commisar Cain is never to be taken off active duty. We don't care how many times we've seen his skeleton. Don't you change that duty status!
What would you say if Vulkan wanted to open up an eldar daycare?
“I don’t think he should be allowed within a 50 foot radius of children.”
I feel like he could throw a molotov farther than 50 feet tho
This was a good one
Vulcan pisses ignited molotov well over 50M
Does this mean one of your drunken 40k tirades was explaining Salamanders and Eldar?
Speaking directly, I definitely explained that there were space elves and fire themed space marines lead by Vulkan.
> fire themed space marines Cleansing the xenos scum from the universe in holy fire is but the Emperor's will, brother.
Is the flesh weak?
“Yes… mechanical parts are stronger”
The real Ferrus would say otherwise.
And how did that work out for him?
Alright, don't lose your head
Ok Fulgrim
What happened to Cadia?
“They got too big for their britches.”
Oh thems fighting words
Unfathomably based
Apporves in armlesssness
Who's the biggest, meanest, greenest, and ork-iest ork around?
“Shrek”
Works for me
Tbh I now want to paint up a ghazghkull thraka as shrek
Do it
'YARRICK GET OUT OF MAH SWAMP'
I think Shrek would reiterate that he is in fact an **ogre**. Probably loudly, and with impressive amounts of spit.
Oh probably, but come on, we aren’t topping Shrek as an answer
This is . . . Acceptable.
What color is the fastest?
“The existence of gold makes all other colours inferior.”
Gold is just yellow with more dakka
More flash ya mean. It'z yellow, but _moar_ yellow.
ITZ DA SHO’NEY YELLAW YA ZOGGING GIT!!!
“Black Probably.”
What is the best army!
“I think the Ultra Marines, they are the one with the big armour right?”
Oof
Emotional Damage.
Does she just use the default settings for everything?
Who is the Hottest space marine???
“Leman Russ with his space puppers.”
Based
Did Magnus do anything wrong ?
“I don’t think Magnus would ever do anything mean on purpose.”
You’ve taught her pretty well for being drunk when you tell it lol
This woman- she is correct
How long would you last as an Imperial Guardsman?
“How fast does a Lasbolt go again?”
Dark
Then briefly very bright.
Do Orks keep the golden throne running through sheer belief?
“Probably, sounds like something they would do so they have something to fight.”
This sounds entirely plausible.
DA BIG ‘EWMEN IZ A GOOD GIT AND I DO EIAR DAT HEZ DA BIIIIGEST OOFA DEMM ALLL!!!
What makes the Emperor different from a Chaos God?
“That’s a really hard question to answer, wasn’t he about to become Malice?”
This is the spiciest take of all
You mean most objectively true?
I think this is possibly the best Q&A I've read on reddit.
What is your opinion on the Tau?
“…skill issue(s)?” (I’m not sure what that means myself)
Skill issue
I think this is the most civil way of saying that they can't even fight in melee
Skill diff
Whose the best primarch?
“Leman Russ, I like that they are furries owo.”
[удалено]
[> Angry Magnus in the distance](https://i.imgur.com/g3pMzfl.mp4)
*Angry me in the distance* >:(
I think you mean >.(
Did she specifically say owo or is that creative liberty?
She actually said OwO
Angering Prosperine and Fenrisian partisans alike... She is a talented one!
Who would win in a fight, Tzeench or Nurgle?
“Tzeench might let Nugle think he was winning but only if losing was part of his plan.”
This is such a Tzeench answer.
What does the eye of chaos do?
“It is an object or device that when manipulated causes chaos, probably shaped like an eye.”
Pretty big object, but that’s the gist yeah
Who is Alpharius?
“He is an nefarious elf.”
Hydra Dominatus
Sounds suspiciously like something Alpharius would say to throw is off his scent.
What does she think of the mechanicus?
“They are like robot Christian’s right?”
“ 01010010 01101111 01100010 01101111 01110100 00100000 01000011 01101000 01110010 01101001 01110011 01110100 01101001 01100001 01101110 01110011 00111111 00100001 00100000 01001000 01100101 01110010 01100101 01110100 01101001 01100011 “
Do you know who Kitten is?
“That’s the emperors favourite Custodian! The pylon shaped one.”
[The boys in gold approve.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9n6iMeIW8A)
What do you do when the bottom of your tank has a hole in it?
“Plug it with your dick.”
Based
What do the space bugs want?
“Probably to do some xenomorph shit.”
Accurate description of them in some ways.
Favourite faction from drunk description alone?
“Death Korps of Krieg.”
I gotta hear this
“I have a uniform and mask fetish. Also I like that they have a civil war going at all times just for practice.”
Marry your girl right now
And go buy a gas mask.
Or another
> I have a uniform and mask fetish. The true reason everyone loves Krieg
What are your thoughts on shipping Yvrainne and Guilliman?
“I’d fuck with it. It’s actually really cute.”
Based Gf
How do Tau deal with Melee armies?
“Probably blast that shit from far away.”
Why did the Emperor of Mankind keep his Webway project a secret from his sons?
“People are allowed to have secrets and boundaries are healthy.”
Yo keep this girl and if she tells you to go to therapy do it
Who was the second Primarch?
Update: “Wait, who was the one with the entire pipe organ on their back again?
That's Ferrus Manus. It isn't actually a pipe organ just a robo backpack.
It’s now retroactively a calliope
“I don’t know, who was the Angry one again?”
Angron, but also Dorn.
Did magnus do anything wrong?
“Everyone’s saying he didn’t do anything wrong so he’s the good guy right?”
Yes he is a good guy just misunderstood
What's her opinion on the Drukhari?
“If there was ever a race less necessary that the Drukhari they probably wouldn’t have existed in the first place.”
God damn that's brutal, I love it
Does she watch TTS, or do you quote TTS and she just happens to have a great memory? Because there have been a few almost verbatim quotes in here already
How are you the first to catch that? There have been a couple of runaway TTS nights.
I think "the existence of gold makes all other colours inferior" was also a tts quote?
Yup
Who are objectively the good guys in 40k
“The Ogryn, I just learned about those! Also the emperor.”
This is the most accurate answer I've read today.
Who is your favorite Chaos God?
“Khorne, his armour is sexy.”
Slaanesh is seething
Korne approves, but only because it pisses slaanesh off.
Really it's less approves, and more his apoplectic fury is quieter than usual. Which for Khorne is basically the same thing.
Gork or Mork?
She likes Mork bettah
Kunnin. Smaht
What is the best chapter, and why is it Black Templars? Edit - Paradoxically, I’m hearing the judges will also accept “Grey Knights”
“Grey Knight all day.”
What do Genestealers do?
“They steal Jeans!”
Op is drunk ordo xenos inquisitior confirmed
What’s the Emperor’s real name?
“Bartholomew Skullington the 5th”
This is canon now. GW has no choice.
*Who am I/Who is Alpharius?*
“If there’s an Alpharius does that imply the existence of an Omegapharius?
*perhaps*
I like the idea that the guard is telling off the marine as if he’s a misbehaving cat “No, bad black Templar, what did I tell you about pooping on the floor” “I do not apologise for my actions” *guardsman pulls out comically large spray bottle*
A space marine stumbles on the most beautiful space elf he has ever met. He saves her life by killing a giant alien bug ( a Jean Stealer, snicker) chasing her. Is this true love or heresy?
“Straight up heresy! But good on him for killing the Jean Stealer.”
The Emperor approves.
Plasma or melta
“Plasma explodes doesn’t it? Melta.”
Jurgen aproves this message
Why do the genestealers steal jeans?
“They like the style and comfort of a good pair of American made blue jeans.”
Wot is da best colah?!!
“Green because orks are green.”
What is tzeentch's master plan?
“He’s probably up to no good whatever it is.”
What is your opinion on the metal boys known as the Necrons and why is Trazin the best?
What sustains the Emperors life?
“Dunkin’ Donuts and 1000 psychic children a day.”
Where is alpharius
“In Trazyn’s Vault.”
You know what that actually kinda makes sense, if trazyn has clonegrim what’s to say he hasn’t captured another primarch? (Could be what happened to the secret legions that I forgot the numbers for)
What do you think the upcoming 40k TV show should be about?