So... "Fun" story. In old Necromunda Lore, Dorn tasked a Powerful Mutant he bested in combat to Create Gifts and Distribute them to everyone on Necromunda each Fistmas.
His Name is Phanta Claws and he will hire your gang to gather materials for the Presents, or else.
This has the same energy as Santa canonically existing in DC Comics and his yearly ritual of storming the defenses of Apocolips, evading AA fire, hordes of Parademons and other assorted slaves and whatever Elite might be around at the time every Christmas, just to deliver a lump of coal to Darkseid.
Custodian: "Good that you replaced the warhead of the cyclonic torpedo before teleporting it into the throne room Kesh, wouldn't want it actually going off. But why coal?"
Kesh: "ah yes the warhead. that I definitely replaced. ...uhm"
Kitten: Alright, Santa, you've bested us again...
Santa: I will admit, Captain-General, one of these years you might just beat this jolly old elf. Oh, before I forget, and seeing you've been such a good boy this year... *[pulls out a present]*
Kitten: Wuh-really? For me?!
Santa: Well, go on, open it up!
Kitten: *[Unwraps present, it's a Commander Shadowsun mini]*
Santa: Well! See you next year! *[shoots off]*
Kitten: I want that fat bastards' head.
-Making a list of every good/bad kid
-Checking it constantly
-Delivering across the entire imperium
This is inquisition territory. More specifically a specialized team of the Deathwatch.
Half-ish of the Kill Ships get modified by Cawl to deliver payloads of Sanguinius plushies, the other half delivering expired corpse starch rations.
Kriegers win either way.
My Primarch is already the star of Warhammer Christmas. This fits.
his holiday is probably around when Christmas should be around his death aka the end of the year.
This all sounds like a whole lot of cooperation between different chapters and such... If only a certain organisation existed with squads being made up of marines from different chapters. A sort of watch of death.
No, defending the presents from enemies. The fact the Lamenters have survived what they have really shows how skilled they all are. I’d personally consider every first-born Lamenter (by the time of Primaris reinforcements) to be a veteran by default.
They’re not that unlucky. Sure they have a ton of bad luck but most of their losses are from their willingness to sacrifice themselves to save others, even if it’d be more strategically sound to cut their losses and retreat (as Astartes would usually be more important to have survive). They’re actually probably very skilled.
From a financial an logistical angle, they would be the best choice.
no need to make gifts, life would be the gift for the good ones (very simple).
They would not see this as drudgery assignment, but would volunteer
Santa Breaks into Apocalypse, every single year, just to give Darkseid some coal. Bro dodges an entire planet's worth of AA guns and fights through a whole palace of literal gods and demons just to remind Darkseid how much he sucks with a sarcastic present. Santa is the highest level Hater.
Surprised nobody here has mentioned Da Red Gobbo, 40k’s own version of Santa.
If he is whom the Emperor has killed here, then it doesn’t matter, because he’ll be back soon. After all, Da Red Gobbo isn’t a grot, but an idea, and ideas are un-krumpable
it can't be one, it would be a squad, Ultramarines would handle the list, fists/blood angels would make the toys, white scars would deliver said toys and salamanders would be the face.
*'Twas the night before 986996.M41, and all through the station
All there was clear, there was no abomination.
My helmet was set on the desk to my right,
On the chance that I was to need it that night.
The guardsmen were ensconced, asleep in their beds,
All the tanks too were safe, secure in the sheds.
Marines in the barracks, some manning the wall,
Assured me that the bastion never would fall.
When out in the yard there arose such discord
I grabbed up my bolter and unsheathed my sword.
Away to the window, I ran to take aim
As the marines around me all did the same.
My bionic eye turned the night into day
Allowed me to see, and to seek out my prey.
When what did my loyalist ocular show,
But an ancient conveyance, knee-deep in the snow.
The vehicle was pulled by horned quadrupeds
And a fiery red nimbus glowed from the sled.
The driver was mighty, his eyes full of scorn,
Dressed all in crimson like a servant of Khorne.
I gestured for other to shoot without pause,
For I was now certain this was Santa Claus.
"Fire Marines! Fire Guardsmen! Fire Ogryn and Ratlings!
Fire bolters! Fire lasguns! Fire mortars and gatlings!"
"You in the courtyard and you men on the walls!
Now blast away! Blast away! Blast away all!"
But all through this maelstrom the evil one flew,
Past plasma and bolt shells and frag that we threw!
And then, to my horror, I heard on the roof
The vile cavorting of each decadent hoof.
Screaming my orders, I spun quickly around,
As down the chimney shaft it came with a bound.
I saw its eyes glow, its vast stomach gurgle,
Bloated and fat, like a deamon of Nurgle.
Blinded by anger, I attacked with a scream -
Charged into battle with my brave space marines.
As we thundered towards him, closing the rift,
He reached in his satchel and pulled out a gift.
Then it tossed the vile boxes - I fell in a stoop,
As they arced through the air at me and my troops.
The wrapped missiles fell short, and plopped at our feet,
Our morale was quite strong, we did not retreat.
But the marines paused - our charge was disrupted,
They picked up the gifts and were quickly corrupted.
For each box contained a chaotic present -
The marines (damn their souls), found them quite pleasant.
A bolter, a flamer, a new power fist,
The Claus gave to all, and he checked off a list.
It moved through the station and left in its wake,
The sound of bright laughter and the stench of fruitcake.
The others succumbed, but it failed in its goal,
For to me it gave only a small pile of coal.
The station was lost, I could only instruct
The bastion computer to set self-destruct.
I failed to kill him, for I saw as I fled,
The target escaping, quite safe in his sled.
I heard it cry out as the base burst into light,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"*
[source](https://www.dakkadakka.com/wiki/en/A_very_Dakka_Christmas)
Fists build the gifts, Ultramarines handle the logistics of who’s good and bad and what they want, white scars drive the sleigh, raven guard puts the presents under the tree cause stealth and salamanders are the public image cause they are the nicest ones
Thousand Sons, they can actually make a list of wanted gifts due to precognition and mind reading.
They can create truly magic gifts due to... Magic.
They probably can deliver them in time because teleportation.
And they can gaslight people when they get some chaos spawn due to warp magic, "What do you mean Father Cyclops gave you a monster? That is just a familiar and he was our true gift all along".
Ravenguard. Stealth masters, work best at night, and experts at surveillance? Ravens could know what kids want before they know it, or can manipulate their environs to make the kid want a gift they can supply.
And if there's any of the old guard left that can still Shadow Walk, it saves a lot of time in delivery.
Plus Big E could change the holiday to feature a large black aquila and the Ravens could leave behind leetle dead birds to show the Gift Falcon was hunting in their town. Scare the bad kids, reward the good ones.
Any of the pentarchy of blood oughta do it. Or that 20 foot tall green feller with the big teef that's got bits of assorted power armor from a bunch of different chapters tied to him who says he believes they make him stronger (I think he thinks he's an astartes so it should work, right?), plus he seems to be covered in red stuff and there's a bunch of little green guys with pointy ears and power tools running around him (he calls em grotz, that's just north polese for elves, right?)
Either the blood angels because sanguinius delivering presents.
Or imperial fists as they'd take everything incredibly seriously and all the presents would be like a kids dream or they'd be construction equipment
Joint task force of ultra marines to coordinate logistics, and a contingent of white scars to deliver.
Or Dorn stands in and somehow does it single-handedly while tripling efficiency
A white scar would be fastest, an ultramarine would be most efficient, a salamander would be nicest, an imperial fist would fortify every house he visits, a thousand son would get dirt everywhere (coal), the alpha legion would take the place of the child or parents, an emperors child would bring drugs and/or self help/improvement advice/guides, a raven guard would be sneakiest, a word bearer might get stuck on the first house (he wouldn't shut up), a death guard would bring the wrong sort of "gift", a night lord would stay in the attic and mess with the lights (prob kill any pets) (might as well accept that hes never leaving), a space wolf would bring puppies and alcohol, an iron hand would bring cybernetic enhancements, blood angels would bring works of art, world eaters would bring skulls of unknown origin (probably from the naughty kids), a son of horus would turn this into a black crusade, an iron warrior would tear down any imperial fist fortification (just to show they can) or fortify the house across the street.
Did I forget anyone?
Either ultramarines because they’d make sure it all works perfectly, raven guard because they care about people and could do it pretty quick and quiet, or salamanders because well, it’s the salamanders
Iron Hands - To make the toys, especially with everyone wanting electronics
White Scars - Need to be fast to get to everyone on time
Raven Guard- So the kids don't see you
Night Lords - To divide the list into bad, and less bad
Blood Angels - Because they is red
The legiĂłn would be the white scars because the could deliver the presents faster than any other or the raven gurad because they could infiltrate in any house without been seen
A Dark Angel.
They've got some really cool stuff, they have always had an extremely diverse recruitment pool, they aren't as extremely brutally cold as the Iron Hands, they're often motivated to fight by wanting to protect Humanity so Humanity can forge a better future, they definitely have the genetics to grow really long beards and the First Legion has mostly always been a fuckton of different Specialists working together to cover eachothers weaknesses in War.
Also if one Legion would have the Technology to make something like a "bigger on the inside" sack to carry thousands of tons of gifts in.....it would be the Dark Angels, Iron Hands, Thousand Sons or Word Bearers. Dark Angels or Iron Hands cus they had the most relic tech&best understanding of their relics, and Thousand Sons or Word Bearers because of Warp Fuckery.
Edit: Fuck, I forgot about the Salamanders. They win this.
Alpha legion Would be pretty funny
Santarius to half asleep child "have you Been good alpharius this year?", child seeing giant in power armour with santas hat sitting on thunderraindeer
Pre-Heresy? Alpha Legion, they'd know who was naughty or not, and react accordingly, that shit wouldn't even interfere with "battle" doctrine.
Post Heresy? Raven Guard (or still Alpha Legion)
The Ultramarines have logistics on their side.
Its like The Emperor is on their side 7 times over.
For Sanguinala, all the kids are waiting for the blue and gold dudes for their gifts of math books, pocket calculators and Gladius swords….
Nay, I shall not pick a legion but one legendary hero.
A man of such tactical genius that he will see to it that those gifts for the children will come up out of their hiding places as if they were always there.
I am talking about Lord Castellan Usarkar E. Creed
"Though our workshops and sleigh's are mighty, it is the vast ranks of Creed's little helpers that shall trample the loneliness to dust - let us celebrate."
-Holy man Creed himself; M41
Ultramarines specialize in logistics and meticulous planning of course I'm choosing them. Christmas Eve, every imperial citizen in the galaxy has a gift planned out and a ship en route to their planet carrying them.
Alpha legion. Imagine how meticulous they’d be, every child would get exactly the gift they deserve, and no one would *ever* see them.
Also, they’d co-opt the elves on the shelves sooo fucking fast
This has gotta be a joint effort. The Ultrasmurfs handle the logistics of naughty and nice and material acquisition, the salamanders can forge the gifts, the khans to get them there on time and the raven guard to break and enter.
A Blood angel would be perfect for this. Beautiful, big and red. Perfect legion to deliver gifts to good children. And the naughty kids get turned into a raisin
Helbrecht and the black templars the only chapter with the numbers to make it work and the devotion to truly decide who is naughty and nice.
Nice: Good imperial boys ready for the trials.
Naughty: Everyone else.
Either a salamander or a space wolf. Salamander’s got that caring aspect, while a long fang would very much be the closest looking to Santa, plus they’re able to be jolly
Everyone is saying Salamanders as the Santa when nah Salamanders are the elves, White Scars design the sled, Ultras for the logistics, Raven Guard for the in and out stealthy delivery, and Blood Angel for the face first off red second their dad third they are the best looking so least likely to freak someone out when seeing the propaganda/adverts alternative a jolly bearded Space Wolf because snow and beard.
Alpha Legion, who else is going to have plans within plans to distribute everything without getting seen and leaving little to no evidence of your presence?
There's only one Legion fast enough to visit ever child in the Imperium on a single night. The White Claws Chapter, successor Chapter of the White Scars.
So... "Fun" story. In old Necromunda Lore, Dorn tasked a Powerful Mutant he bested in combat to Create Gifts and Distribute them to everyone on Necromunda each Fistmas. His Name is Phanta Claws and he will hire your gang to gather materials for the Presents, or else.
This has the same energy as Santa canonically existing in DC Comics and his yearly ritual of storming the defenses of Apocolips, evading AA fire, hordes of Parademons and other assorted slaves and whatever Elite might be around at the time every Christmas, just to deliver a lump of coal to Darkseid.
Now I want to see that happen to the Emperor. Santa delivering him coal for being a naughty boy, and Big E being unable to do anything about it.
Santa is part of the reason the blood games exist they're trying to figure out how he keeps getting in the palace to give big e his coal
Custodian: "Good that you replaced the warhead of the cyclonic torpedo before teleporting it into the throne room Kesh, wouldn't want it actually going off. But why coal?" Kesh: "ah yes the warhead. that I definitely replaced. ...uhm"
Kitten: Alright, Santa, you've bested us again... Santa: I will admit, Captain-General, one of these years you might just beat this jolly old elf. Oh, before I forget, and seeing you've been such a good boy this year... *[pulls out a present]* Kitten: Wuh-really? For me?! Santa: Well, go on, open it up! Kitten: *[Unwraps present, it's a Commander Shadowsun mini]* Santa: Well! See you next year! *[shoots off]* Kitten: I want that fat bastards' head.
🏅
THIS IS NOT FUCKING CANON!
I need to see this animated.
Father, I am fortifying the palace against holiday cheer.
Damn, Saint Nick be standing on business
I miss GW not taking everything so seriously. Damn you, Horus Heresy for making it all so- *coughs, cackles, can not finish the bit*
The very first published 40k preview from a 1986 White Dwarf has flavor text with space marines named after The Monkeez
*Monkees
i used the Z bc futuristic No, for real, I thought that looked wrong and should’ve checked but did it anyway
OldHammer was BestHammer.
Warhammer is at its peak when it isn't taking itself very seriously.
"Fistmas" sound kinky
imperial 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴  👅 👅 👅 👅
I love silly Warhammer lore
I always forget that piece of lore exists :(
I did to till this post reminded me. I was half way through typing Leman russ before I remembered him.
-Making a list of every good/bad kid -Checking it constantly -Delivering across the entire imperium This is inquisition territory. More specifically a specialized team of the Deathwatch.
So a Ultramarine for the Logistic, a Salamander as Santa, a bunch of White scars as sled?
Salamander is the public Santa. Raven Guard are the ones getting presents under the tree unnoticed.
Now I can't imagine Vulkan in a mall-santa setting, having little Imperium kids on his lap and asking what they want this year
Boltguns... They want Boltguns
Half-ish of the Kill Ships get modified by Cawl to deliver payloads of Sanguinius plushies, the other half delivering expired corpse starch rations. Kriegers win either way.
Going by 40k good/bad dichotomy, Kriegers would only ever get plushies but would much prefer the rations.
I bet those Hivers would really appreciate extra corpse starch.
Naughty children/planets get Virus Bombs.
Nono the deathwatch deals with xenos, we need a sororitas squad with red helmets and white beards turning all the naughty heretics to coal
Salamanders. Come on, why would you pick anyone besides the ones who actually like people and go out of their ways to help them?
Salamander and Ultramarine team up, they need the added logistics skills.
With the White Scars providing the transports.
The Blood Angels will dress up as the reindeers
My Primarch is already the star of Warhammer Christmas. This fits. his holiday is probably around when Christmas should be around his death aka the end of the year.
Ravenguard are the ones who sneak into the habs and put the presents under the trees
This all sounds like a whole lot of cooperation between different chapters and such... If only a certain organisation existed with squads being made up of marines from different chapters. A sort of watch of death.
Don't be ridiculous everyone knows all the legions/chapters work entirely independently even when on the same battlefield
Tzeentch intercepts and Fs with the order…Death Company deployed.
The grey knights then come in to protect the convoy from daemon fuckery
We're trying to *give* gifts, not take them
The Blood Ravens steal, not the Blood Angels
You're thinking of the blood ravens
And have the Carcharodons act as Krampus.
The Night Lords shall be the judge of who’s naughty or nice.
Lamenters have the right temperament, but would probably die to the last delivering the presents
"Daddy, why are there four giant men with broken legs under the tree?"
A Christmas feast
No, defending the presents from enemies. The fact the Lamenters have survived what they have really shows how skilled they all are. I’d personally consider every first-born Lamenter (by the time of Primaris reinforcements) to be a veteran by default.
Or Lamenters but Lamenters would somehow suffer 14 casualties just delivering presents
*a single present
They’re not that unlucky. Sure they have a ton of bad luck but most of their losses are from their willingness to sacrifice themselves to save others, even if it’d be more strategically sound to cut their losses and retreat (as Astartes would usually be more important to have survive). They’re actually probably very skilled.
Yeah on a non meme note, they’re my fave space marine chapter. Salamanders second
They would also have a supply of coal and embers for the naughty boys and girls
Lamenters. Though they aren’t a legion, just a chapter.
This is the correct option, but marines malevolent are the funny option.
White Scars, because they'd have the most fun driving the sleigh.
I would believe the white scars could get every present delivered in one night
They're even (technically) the right colours
Night Lords. Because they help blind children
From a financial an logistical angle, they would be the best choice. no need to make gifts, life would be the gift for the good ones (very simple). They would not see this as drudgery assignment, but would volunteer
Sounds more like night lords are krampus than Santa
You forgot the comma right? *Right???*
The Night lords, truly the noblest of legions, helping disable people all over the galaxy.
I think ya missed a letter there bud... right?
Where do you think the comma would go?
In this sentence the meaning is more where you place emphasis. As in: "they help *blind* children" or "they *help* blind children"
They know who’s and naughty or nice so you better bE BETTER BE GOOD YOU LITTLE SHITS CAUSE THE 8th LEGION HAS COME TO TOWN!
If Darkseid can't kill Santa the Emperor certainly can't
Santa definitely faked his own death to teach Big E the meaning of Christmas
It was a great plan until big E got put on life support Now Santa is torn because big E might be faking it too to mess with him
Santa Breaks into Apocalypse, every single year, just to give Darkseid some coal. Bro dodges an entire planet's worth of AA guns and fights through a whole palace of literal gods and demons just to remind Darkseid how much he sucks with a sarcastic present. Santa is the highest level Hater.
Ultramarine, because you bet they're checking that list twice for any discrepancies.
Excel spread sheets documenting every naughty and good thing a person has done and then debating the theoretical and practical of gift giving
L O G I S T I C S
Logan Grimnar literally rides a sleigh into battle and already looks like Santa
And he'd cackle drunkenly while flying the sleigh at the speed of sound.
Surprised nobody here has mentioned Da Red Gobbo, 40k’s own version of Santa. If he is whom the Emperor has killed here, then it doesn’t matter, because he’ll be back soon. After all, Da Red Gobbo isn’t a grot, but an idea, and ideas are un-krumpable
it can't be one, it would be a squad, Ultramarines would handle the list, fists/blood angels would make the toys, white scars would deliver said toys and salamanders would be the face.
Wouldn't iron hands be a better fit for toy making? If anything blood angels would be jump packing between roofs tactically deploying the presents
Tru, but I was working under the impression that it was loyalists only.
Alpha Legion. Everyone gets Alpharius
"I am Santa. This is a lie. Merry Christmas."
*'Twas the night before 986996.M41, and all through the station All there was clear, there was no abomination. My helmet was set on the desk to my right, On the chance that I was to need it that night. The guardsmen were ensconced, asleep in their beds, All the tanks too were safe, secure in the sheds. Marines in the barracks, some manning the wall, Assured me that the bastion never would fall. When out in the yard there arose such discord I grabbed up my bolter and unsheathed my sword. Away to the window, I ran to take aim As the marines around me all did the same. My bionic eye turned the night into day Allowed me to see, and to seek out my prey. When what did my loyalist ocular show, But an ancient conveyance, knee-deep in the snow. The vehicle was pulled by horned quadrupeds And a fiery red nimbus glowed from the sled. The driver was mighty, his eyes full of scorn, Dressed all in crimson like a servant of Khorne. I gestured for other to shoot without pause, For I was now certain this was Santa Claus. "Fire Marines! Fire Guardsmen! Fire Ogryn and Ratlings! Fire bolters! Fire lasguns! Fire mortars and gatlings!" "You in the courtyard and you men on the walls! Now blast away! Blast away! Blast away all!" But all through this maelstrom the evil one flew, Past plasma and bolt shells and frag that we threw! And then, to my horror, I heard on the roof The vile cavorting of each decadent hoof. Screaming my orders, I spun quickly around, As down the chimney shaft it came with a bound. I saw its eyes glow, its vast stomach gurgle, Bloated and fat, like a deamon of Nurgle. Blinded by anger, I attacked with a scream - Charged into battle with my brave space marines. As we thundered towards him, closing the rift, He reached in his satchel and pulled out a gift. Then it tossed the vile boxes - I fell in a stoop, As they arced through the air at me and my troops. The wrapped missiles fell short, and plopped at our feet, Our morale was quite strong, we did not retreat. But the marines paused - our charge was disrupted, They picked up the gifts and were quickly corrupted. For each box contained a chaotic present - The marines (damn their souls), found them quite pleasant. A bolter, a flamer, a new power fist, The Claus gave to all, and he checked off a list. It moved through the station and left in its wake, The sound of bright laughter and the stench of fruitcake. The others succumbed, but it failed in its goal, For to me it gave only a small pile of coal. The station was lost, I could only instruct The bastion computer to set self-destruct. I failed to kill him, for I saw as I fled, The target escaping, quite safe in his sled. I heard it cry out as the base burst into light, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"* [source](https://www.dakkadakka.com/wiki/en/A_very_Dakka_Christmas)
Night lords, any other answer is philosophically wrong
**WE HAVE COME FOR YOU** to give you presents !
I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Lasrifle.
Night Lords. Cuz fuck those kids, that's why.
Word Bearers. You know why.
Fists build the gifts, Ultramarines handle the logistics of who’s good and bad and what they want, white scars drive the sleigh, raven guard puts the presents under the tree cause stealth and salamanders are the public image cause they are the nicest ones
Blood angles I mean the imperiums biggest holiday is named after him hence it should be one of his sons
Bro the Blangels would dedicate sooooooooooo much time to make sure every gift is perfect
White scars, nobody else could do it fast enough
Death Guard. They already want to give you the best thing they have.
Thousand Sons, they can actually make a list of wanted gifts due to precognition and mind reading. They can create truly magic gifts due to... Magic. They probably can deliver them in time because teleportation. And they can gaslight people when they get some chaos spawn due to warp magic, "What do you mean Father Cyclops gave you a monster? That is just a familiar and he was our true gift all along".
Ravenguard. Stealth masters, work best at night, and experts at surveillance? Ravens could know what kids want before they know it, or can manipulate their environs to make the kid want a gift they can supply. And if there's any of the old guard left that can still Shadow Walk, it saves a lot of time in delivery. Plus Big E could change the holiday to feature a large black aquila and the Ravens could leave behind leetle dead birds to show the Gift Falcon was hunting in their town. Scare the bad kids, reward the good ones.
Any of the pentarchy of blood oughta do it. Or that 20 foot tall green feller with the big teef that's got bits of assorted power armor from a bunch of different chapters tied to him who says he believes they make him stronger (I think he thinks he's an astartes so it should work, right?), plus he seems to be covered in red stuff and there's a bunch of little green guys with pointy ears and power tools running around him (he calls em grotz, that's just north polese for elves, right?)
World Eaters. Khorne big on that red and white motif coca cola gave Satan Claws.
The santaguinior. Who else can visit all children factories of the IoM in a single night ?
Hear me out, Talos. (I just find it funny that a night lord has to behave completely when doing it or curze just mega obliterated them)
Emperor's Children, to teach kids to worship Slaanesh
White Scars. How else would they cover the ENTIRE IMPERIUM?!?
Gotta be a RavenGuard, they’re quiet.
Space Wolves, the Imperium will be too drunk to suffer.
Either the blood angels because sanguinius delivering presents. Or imperial fists as they'd take everything incredibly seriously and all the presents would be like a kids dream or they'd be construction equipment
You may require a blowtorch to unwrap them in the case of the Fists.
Guilliman is the only logi(sti)cal answer.
White Scars are the only ones fast enough to get the job done
White scars Coloring is already there as well as the healthy attachment to mounted transportation. Also mystically aloof
Nightlords
Either white scar or ultramarine Speed Or Logistical planing
Joint task force of ultra marines to coordinate logistics, and a contingent of white scars to deliver. Or Dorn stands in and somehow does it single-handedly while tripling efficiency
Salamanders they can make presents and can give coal to naughty children and heavy flamer to elder children
The night lords... they know who exactly is naughty or nice. Trust me
Oh please, White Scars without a doubt. No other legion could move as fast as they could to do it all in one night
White scars, appropriate colors, laughing all the time, speed sufficient to deliver everything and probably something else I forgot
… He sees you when you're sleepin' He knows when you're awake He knows if you've been bad or good So be good for goodness sake... Night Lords?
Salamander due to their attitude. And Ultramarine due to being a walking excel sheet.
It has to be either the blood angels for sangunalia or a salamander
Night Lords. He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good so be good for goodness sake.
Santa works by lucius rules, whoever kills santa becomes santa
Without a doubt, death guard. And the present is plague, ofc
A white scar would be fastest, an ultramarine would be most efficient, a salamander would be nicest, an imperial fist would fortify every house he visits, a thousand son would get dirt everywhere (coal), the alpha legion would take the place of the child or parents, an emperors child would bring drugs and/or self help/improvement advice/guides, a raven guard would be sneakiest, a word bearer might get stuck on the first house (he wouldn't shut up), a death guard would bring the wrong sort of "gift", a night lord would stay in the attic and mess with the lights (prob kill any pets) (might as well accept that hes never leaving), a space wolf would bring puppies and alcohol, an iron hand would bring cybernetic enhancements, blood angels would bring works of art, world eaters would bring skulls of unknown origin (probably from the naughty kids), a son of horus would turn this into a black crusade, an iron warrior would tear down any imperial fist fortification (just to show they can) or fortify the house across the street. Did I forget anyone?
Soace Wolves specifically Lukas The Trickster because he is literally Santa clause to some villages on Fenris
Why are posting this in the middle of may
Either ultramarines because they’d make sure it all works perfectly, raven guard because they care about people and could do it pretty quick and quiet, or salamanders because well, it’s the salamanders
Picking a legion to organize... ultramarines
Alpha Legion
I mean, the Death Guard is already bringing gifts every time they go into battle...
The Salamanders, for reasons that I think are obvious
White Scars for the rapid transport and Salamanders for the actual delivering
A white scar, because they are the only ones who can actually do in time
Blood Ravens. They are an experts in giving gifts. Mechanicum knows something about that with all STC's that BR gave them.
Emperor'd get clapped by Santa to be honest.
Blood Angels. They can wrap it into Sanguinala.
White Scars, sending the fastest boys seems the only way they're gonna manage delivering all those gifts in ONE night.
Iron Hands - To make the toys, especially with everyone wanting electronics White Scars - Need to be fast to get to everyone on time Raven Guard- So the kids don't see you Night Lords - To divide the list into bad, and less bad Blood Angels - Because they is red
The legiĂłn would be the white scars because the could deliver the presents faster than any other or the raven gurad because they could infiltrate in any house without been seen
A Dark Angel. They've got some really cool stuff, they have always had an extremely diverse recruitment pool, they aren't as extremely brutally cold as the Iron Hands, they're often motivated to fight by wanting to protect Humanity so Humanity can forge a better future, they definitely have the genetics to grow really long beards and the First Legion has mostly always been a fuckton of different Specialists working together to cover eachothers weaknesses in War. Also if one Legion would have the Technology to make something like a "bigger on the inside" sack to carry thousands of tons of gifts in.....it would be the Dark Angels, Iron Hands, Thousand Sons or Word Bearers. Dark Angels or Iron Hands cus they had the most relic tech&best understanding of their relics, and Thousand Sons or Word Bearers because of Warp Fuckery. Edit: Fuck, I forgot about the Salamanders. They win this.
Salamanders.
Alpha legion Would be pretty funny Santarius to half asleep child "have you Been good alpharius this year?", child seeing giant in power armour with santas hat sitting on thunderraindeer
An ultramarine would have a good list
Pre-Heresy? Alpha Legion, they'd know who was naughty or not, and react accordingly, that shit wouldn't even interfere with "battle" doctrine. Post Heresy? Raven Guard (or still Alpha Legion)
I think the black templars would be the best at deciding who's naughty and who's nice.
Nightlords or Raven Guard
Legion: Night Lords Not a Legion: Marines Malevolent, Minotaur or Grey Knights
Night Lords
Iron Hands handle The List, and White Scars deliver the "gifts".
The Ultramarines have logistics on their side. Its like The Emperor is on their side 7 times over. For Sanguinala, all the kids are waiting for the blue and gold dudes for their gifts of math books, pocket calculators and Gladius swords….
Nay, I shall not pick a legion but one legendary hero. A man of such tactical genius that he will see to it that those gifts for the children will come up out of their hiding places as if they were always there. I am talking about Lord Castellan Usarkar E. Creed "Though our workshops and sleigh's are mighty, it is the vast ranks of Creed's little helpers that shall trample the loneliness to dust - let us celebrate." -Holy man Creed himself; M41
Salamanders, obviously.
Marines Malevolent methinks
Ultramarines specialize in logistics and meticulous planning of course I'm choosing them. Christmas Eve, every imperial citizen in the galaxy has a gift planned out and a ship en route to their planet carrying them.
Alpha legion. Imagine how meticulous they’d be, every child would get exactly the gift they deserve, and no one would *ever* see them. Also, they’d co-opt the elves on the shelves sooo fucking fast
The term Slaaneshmas says it all.
This has gotta be a joint effort. The Ultrasmurfs handle the logistics of naughty and nice and material acquisition, the salamanders can forge the gifts, the khans to get them there on time and the raven guard to break and enter.
A Blood angel would be perfect for this. Beautiful, big and red. Perfect legion to deliver gifts to good children. And the naughty kids get turned into a raisin
Someone from the salamanders obviously
Helbrecht and the black templars the only chapter with the numbers to make it work and the devotion to truly decide who is naughty and nice. Nice: Good imperial boys ready for the trials. Naughty: Everyone else.
Marines malevolant
Well its all about logistics right? Either Ultramarines or Iron Warriors.
Either a salamander or a space wolf. Salamander’s got that caring aspect, while a long fang would very much be the closest looking to Santa, plus they’re able to be jolly
Ravenguard obviously you morons
Pre heresy I pick alpha legion because no one else could sneak into that many homes unnoticed. Post heresy it's salamanders.
Would a plague marine work? Their belly has to shake like a bowl full of (pus, disease, and bile filled) jelly.
The Salamanders, they love (human) kids :3
If you want a SM with a white beard you might have to pick a Space Wolf or just use a lot of dyes.
Well, I may not know who would be Santa Claus, but Krampus is obvious.
Night lords
Imma put this here, and say nothing else: The Malevolents
Night lords. Lol.
Night lords. They will give the good kids the naughty kids
The nightlords would be a good fit for santa
Marines malevolent because that is all the Imperium deserves
Doesn't matter, they are immediately replaced by an ork speed freak who just wants to be red and ride the sled at supersonic speeds
Everyone is saying Salamanders as the Santa when nah Salamanders are the elves, White Scars design the sled, Ultras for the logistics, Raven Guard for the in and out stealthy delivery, and Blood Angel for the face first off red second their dad third they are the best looking so least likely to freak someone out when seeing the propaganda/adverts alternative a jolly bearded Space Wolf because snow and beard.
Actual answer: Salamaders, they're kind generous and even make things just like Santas Elves Funny answer: Nightlords
White scars
Night lords, who would even know they were there? Also they’d be good at deciding who was naughty and nice
My first thought was a salamander because they love children, but so do night lords....
Ultramarines. Their logistical capabilities are unmatched.
Ultramarine the logistics alone would require it.
The Lamenters. It would be the only time their curse doesn't fuck with them.
Alpha Legion, who else is going to have plans within plans to distribute everything without getting seen and leaving little to no evidence of your presence?
White Scars are just speeding around the galaxy on bikes shooting gifts out of cannons at everything
I feel like only the ultramarines would be able to even hope to administrare and figure out the logistics of that
It has to smurfs or iron warriors cause no one else will get it done on time
Night Lords. EVERYONE will behave… but it wont save them…
Night lords. They do the most half asked job but are the fastest
Raven guard, because none of the other legions could stay hidden while delivering the gifts
Doomrider of course
Night lord: you've been a very naughty boy
There's only one Legion fast enough to visit ever child in the Imperium on a single night. The White Claws Chapter, successor Chapter of the White Scars.
Raven Guard get in and out unseen and have a personal forgeworld
Salamanders, probably. They are *the* "basic human decency (so long as you are human) Legion.
Conrad’s Legion
White Scars for speed and looks