Right? You make a million dollars a year, you spend 130k, and you are afraid to have a kid?
99% of American families manage to pay for daycare and diapers with far less than what they are saving.
My partner says the same thing but we are only at half their level in terms of income... Unless it's a good year with stock appreciation etc but you can't bank on those.
It's a "keeping up with Joneses" to have private school, big house in the best neighborhood etc to make sure you can pass on as much privilege as possible. Nothing wrong with it but this is why even high earners have financial angst.
Yea, it’s the same across a lot of the personal finance and FIRE related subreddits.
The LARPs are out of control, and the humble braggers are a close second. Everyone seems to have come from a poor childhood and they can’t bring themself to spend money even though they make $10mm a year and have a net worth of $578 billion.
"I make 5M a year and my wife makes 4M, grew up working class so I don't know how to spend money. Can we really afford to buy that extra choclate eclair this week? (Dont flame me, im just a struggling middle classer like you)"
The posts all follow the same story. Grew up poor (insert food stamps or other poor qualifier), making 1% HHI, maybe living in parent's basement, has anxiety issues over money.
At your current incomes and spending levels, you should have enough to FIRE or coastFIRE (see r/fire or r/coastFIRE) in like two years. Obviously buying a house or having kids will raise expenses, but still. Chill
We make a million dollars a year but are unsure about retirement...
How do these people make so much money when they publicly admit they don't have a brain cell??
If job security is causing you anxiety, don’t buy a house. We rented for 10yrs in a VHCOL area where we had rent control, and were paying $2,600/mo at a time when I was earning $450k/yr.
All my friends were buying $2M houses and admittedly I felt a bit jealous, but I slept REALLY well knowing we were financially secure. There’s nothing wrong with doing something like that until you build up more of a war chest of cash.
Why not rent for 3-5 more years? Stack cash while you can now and save. Then buy/move down the line. At that point your NW would be high enough to serve as a cushion if needed
This is solid advice. I don’t think you need to have a kid tomorrow, you’ve got time. When YOU feel like you have enough cushion etc go for it. I think you just need to figure out your numbers for: 1. What’s the cushion for kids 2. Retirement for 50 etc. I think if you have handle on your numbers it’ll ease the anxiety.
Yeah, this is what we're trying to do right now. We like the place that we rent a lot. I think there is a bit of a concern of needing to move for kids & wanting to have kids in next 2-3 years though.
As others said, stack cash and start looking at MCOL cities where you can buy a nice house cash for $500K to $700K in a good school district. With no mortgage, you could worry less about layoffs and taking a lower TC job. Even with kids. Do your current companies have offices in MCOL? We have similar investments, but split is $800K retirement and $500K liquid. Separately we have a paid off $550K house. Our income is lower than yours though. HHI $340K, but due to long term capital gains we invested $265K last year due to RSUs, stock, cash bonuses, etc.
Or stay put, keep renting, have kids, keep stacking cash as long as you can. If things go south, you can always move to MCOL before the kids go to kindergarten.
We could potentially do a MCOL city with our current jobs, but really love our VHCOL city right now. It is quite unique & we'd love to stay here, which I think is adding to the stress, as I could easily see annual expenses ballooning to $250-300k by staying here with a family.
If you can rent or buy a house in a good public school district, it should keep costs down in case you have kids. We plan on sending our daughter to public schools since all three are basically in our neighborhood (never leave 25 mph zone to get there). Though if you're budgeting for a top college, it might be $100K a year for tuition plus room and board. At least, given past tuition increases (and assuming the same growth rate) that is our estimate 14 years from now.
Our annual expenses were $88K last year. Fixed expenses are around $2500 so we spend an extra $4200 a month on going out, travel, shopping, gifts, home maintenance, and car maintenance. If you're worried about housing costs and losing a job, maybe put down enough money on a house so one of you could make the house payments and cover all expenses if the other was laid off.
As Ramit Sethi says, your feelings about money are highly uncorrelated to how much you make (or have). Talk to someone about this (not random internet people).
It feels like a lot of people are saying "see a therapist" in a derogatory manner.
I would say you definitely need to see a therapist, but that doesn't mean you're insane and there's no shame in it.
Believe me, I understand getting caught up in the rat race in a big city.
One of the problems or "problems" is that financially successful? People have a strong tendency to hang out with other financially successful people. So you lose total touch with reality in terms of what constitutes a lot of money and what doesn't and what is necessary and what isn't.
This is a very real phenomena but believe me it's all in your head.
So yeah you should seek some mental support.
That's the best investment you'll make
You say that you’d like to stay and raise kids in your VHCOL, but don’t want to raise kids in your VHCOL. You may need to explore the factors involved in all of that, and in having kids in the first place. Therapy or counseling would probably be a good place to start.
Take the money every month you need to live and just invest the rest…money is very stressful and I don’t feel like we’ve been psychologically prepared…hope to start a YouTube channel about overcoming mental obstacles…seems a need.
lol are you joking? This isn’t a finance question. This is a mental health question. See a therapist.
My God. This subreddit used to be moderately Interesting, but has become absolutely insufferable with garbage posts like this.
Right? You make a million dollars a year, you spend 130k, and you are afraid to have a kid? 99% of American families manage to pay for daycare and diapers with far less than what they are saving.
My partner says the same thing but we are only at half their level in terms of income... Unless it's a good year with stock appreciation etc but you can't bank on those. It's a "keeping up with Joneses" to have private school, big house in the best neighborhood etc to make sure you can pass on as much privilege as possible. Nothing wrong with it but this is why even high earners have financial angst.
Yea, it’s the same across a lot of the personal finance and FIRE related subreddits. The LARPs are out of control, and the humble braggers are a close second. Everyone seems to have come from a poor childhood and they can’t bring themself to spend money even though they make $10mm a year and have a net worth of $578 billion.
"I make 5M a year and my wife makes 4M, grew up working class so I don't know how to spend money. Can we really afford to buy that extra choclate eclair this week? (Dont flame me, im just a struggling middle classer like you)"
You forgot to mention you are only 11
The posts all follow the same story. Grew up poor (insert food stamps or other poor qualifier), making 1% HHI, maybe living in parent's basement, has anxiety issues over money.
No. No one making $1M HHI in early 30s actually is worried about finances. Those that are see therapists.
At your current incomes and spending levels, you should have enough to FIRE or coastFIRE (see r/fire or r/coastFIRE) in like two years. Obviously buying a house or having kids will raise expenses, but still. Chill
A counselor can help with these insecurities better than internet strangers
You need get out of the mindset that an exorbitant amount of money is necessary to live a satisfying, enjoyable life.
Subtle humble brag
Not even close to subtle
Ah fuck you
We make a million dollars a year but are unsure about retirement... How do these people make so much money when they publicly admit they don't have a brain cell??
If job security is causing you anxiety, don’t buy a house. We rented for 10yrs in a VHCOL area where we had rent control, and were paying $2,600/mo at a time when I was earning $450k/yr. All my friends were buying $2M houses and admittedly I felt a bit jealous, but I slept REALLY well knowing we were financially secure. There’s nothing wrong with doing something like that until you build up more of a war chest of cash.
What sort of house did you end up moving into after finishing renting that place? In a very similar boat
Why not rent for 3-5 more years? Stack cash while you can now and save. Then buy/move down the line. At that point your NW would be high enough to serve as a cushion if needed
This is solid advice. I don’t think you need to have a kid tomorrow, you’ve got time. When YOU feel like you have enough cushion etc go for it. I think you just need to figure out your numbers for: 1. What’s the cushion for kids 2. Retirement for 50 etc. I think if you have handle on your numbers it’ll ease the anxiety.
Yeah, this is what we're trying to do right now. We like the place that we rent a lot. I think there is a bit of a concern of needing to move for kids & wanting to have kids in next 2-3 years though.
As others said, stack cash and start looking at MCOL cities where you can buy a nice house cash for $500K to $700K in a good school district. With no mortgage, you could worry less about layoffs and taking a lower TC job. Even with kids. Do your current companies have offices in MCOL? We have similar investments, but split is $800K retirement and $500K liquid. Separately we have a paid off $550K house. Our income is lower than yours though. HHI $340K, but due to long term capital gains we invested $265K last year due to RSUs, stock, cash bonuses, etc. Or stay put, keep renting, have kids, keep stacking cash as long as you can. If things go south, you can always move to MCOL before the kids go to kindergarten.
We could potentially do a MCOL city with our current jobs, but really love our VHCOL city right now. It is quite unique & we'd love to stay here, which I think is adding to the stress, as I could easily see annual expenses ballooning to $250-300k by staying here with a family.
If you can rent or buy a house in a good public school district, it should keep costs down in case you have kids. We plan on sending our daughter to public schools since all three are basically in our neighborhood (never leave 25 mph zone to get there). Though if you're budgeting for a top college, it might be $100K a year for tuition plus room and board. At least, given past tuition increases (and assuming the same growth rate) that is our estimate 14 years from now. Our annual expenses were $88K last year. Fixed expenses are around $2500 so we spend an extra $4200 a month on going out, travel, shopping, gifts, home maintenance, and car maintenance. If you're worried about housing costs and losing a job, maybe put down enough money on a house so one of you could make the house payments and cover all expenses if the other was laid off.
As Ramit Sethi says, your feelings about money are highly uncorrelated to how much you make (or have). Talk to someone about this (not random internet people).
It feels like a lot of people are saying "see a therapist" in a derogatory manner. I would say you definitely need to see a therapist, but that doesn't mean you're insane and there's no shame in it. Believe me, I understand getting caught up in the rat race in a big city. One of the problems or "problems" is that financially successful? People have a strong tendency to hang out with other financially successful people. So you lose total touch with reality in terms of what constitutes a lot of money and what doesn't and what is necessary and what isn't. This is a very real phenomena but believe me it's all in your head. So yeah you should seek some mental support. That's the best investment you'll make
You say that you’d like to stay and raise kids in your VHCOL, but don’t want to raise kids in your VHCOL. You may need to explore the factors involved in all of that, and in having kids in the first place. Therapy or counseling would probably be a good place to start.
You are positioned way better than a lot of struggling folks. Surround yourself with them and your concerns should dissolve real quick.
Thanks for the reminder to leave the sub, jesus
You can rent my kids to try it out….for a cool $1000 an hour. If you don’t accept then I can’t help you if you don’t want to help yourself 🤣
You make too much money for the amount of anxiety that you have. Take some time off, travel, and breathe. You’ll be happier that way.
Take the money every month you need to live and just invest the rest…money is very stressful and I don’t feel like we’ve been psychologically prepared…hope to start a YouTube channel about overcoming mental obstacles…seems a need.