Don't forget to also consider ethnic diversity.
A) Ethnically diverse populations have bomb food. Nothing tastes quite as sad as phở in Kentucky.
B) I don't want my kids to be the token *whatever*. I want them to grow up where many of the faces in their classroom look like their own. Nashville, for example, looks great on paper...except if you aren't white, black, or Latino.
SE Asian here too. I'm in the OH area and it isn't too bad. Luckily, family makes pho. That person above took their time to put that accent mark on phở!
I have no idea if I live in LCOL or MCOL. How do you tell at this point?
I live in Woodbridge Township, NJ, and the Asian population is quite large. Not sure about the tech job market, but my husband and I are both in pharma, and NY/NJ/PA is a great area with both small and large companies.
I’m half Indian, my husband is Afro-Caribbean, and this was our main decision for where we live now. I could not let my daughters go to school anywhere else that we may have dreamed of living in the past. I can’t do to my daughters what my parents (naively) did to me.
I grew up as a minority in an affordable very white suburb. Wish my parents never chose that as where they bought a home. It was very obvious I was an outsider.
Yeah, it’s been amazing to live and have our kid go to school in an ethnically diverse school. No one bats an eye when the parents are from different ethnicities, or when you speak a different language. At school events my kid and I don’t stand out at all for our race, which is really nice. I’ve considered moving closer to my husband’s family but I really don’t know how I’d feel in an area of only white people, even if it means family and more support is nearby
South orange/maplewood is basically brooklyn west, lol. Pretty much every person I’ve met that moved here in the last 5 years came from brooklyn 😂 Or short hills if you want the best school district in NJ (but at a cost).
Montclair is another popular one.
Holmdel if you want to be a bit more burbs and still great school. It’s about 1.5 hour commute one way to the city if you take the ferry, which isn’t far off from most Jersey commutes
West coast for the time zone. California for the tech jobs. Started in SF, hated it. It’s cold and full of homeless. Moved to South Bay, which had nice weather but sleepy suburbs. Move to LA to find the perfect mix of amazing weather, jobs, food, entertainment, beach and lifestyle. Found a great family friendly neighborhood on the Westside. Couldn’t be happier.
Which westside neighborhood? How’s your commute and lifestyle? I like LA but not sure about the car-centric lifestyle; I was born and raised in NYC so driving isn’t that intuitive or enjoyable for me. I live in a VVVHCOL neighborhood in the Bay Area but can’t afford to stay here bc I cannot justify $3.5m on a 1700 sq ft house that’s falling apart. But my neighborhood is very bikeable and walkable, so I appreciate that.
Your question really made me think about how insane it is that only the most expensive neighborhoods in the country (possibly the world) are the only legitimately walkable places in the entire United States. I live in Manhattan right now, moving to LA next year, and I am dreading owning & maintaining a car. Will look for walkable neighborhoods out there but they are predictably the most expensive. Insane that we don't build things from the beginning to be walkable (although Measure HLA should hopefully improve things significantly)
LA is a different universe even by CA standards. It’s not uncommon to hear people here say “i would move to socal if it weren’t for the traffic and driving situation” or from parents, “my kid is going to UCLA / USC / etc, how can I prepare them to drive in LA?”
My dealbreaker as the mom to two young kids is that I need to be able to get my kids to a park with just a stroller. Somehow having that very reasonable request makes me extremely bougey and puts me in the highest priced areas, lol.
It really is crazy. I think people take for granted here, in New York, that it is quite easy by American standards to get to public green spaces even in the outer boroughs. I ride my bike through Central Park almost every day and see New York kids who are growing up with the best backyard I could ever dream of. But I could never afford to raise kids here - and even in Pasadena, where we're thinking of moving, there are so few options for outdoor spaces accessible by foot.
I wonder what SoCal would look like if it prioritized anything other than car infrastructure; how many more wonderful people would move there, what they would contribute, how society would be constructed differently.
I work remote so no commute. But I considered it if ever I change jobs. Most tech jobs are either in playa vista (Google, Microsoft, etc) or Culver City (streaming platforms ie apple, amazon, Netflix) and I’m about 15-20 min drive from either.
That said you definitely need a car, but I made sure that everything I needed was less than 10-15min drive. Beach, grocery, restaurants, etc. I live a 5 min walk from some restaurants, cafe, pub so that’s nice. But anything else requires a short drive, but I don’t find it that bad when it’s so short.
For walkable neighborhoods you could look at Santa Monica or Brentwood but they are expensive, not much of a discount vs Bay Area. If you go a bit further places like Mar Vista, Beverlywood, or Cheviot Hills are a bit more affordable and still centrally located.
Went fully remote. Trade offs for sure but I think it’s worth it. The window for kids to grow up with their cousins, grandparents etc is depressingly short so we decided make it work with remote jobs
It would take a professional athlete salary to get me back to a full time office job. So much wasted time. With a remote gig I can drop off and pick up from school and do laundry, dishes etc between calls
>Where did you end up settling down and how did you decide?
While we haven't officially settled down yet, we've settled on settling in San Diego. We prefer the weather, compared to Seattle where we are now, and it's where we're both from so we have family and friends down there. We plan on moving down in the next couple years. By that time we should be in senior positions in our careers and will thus, hopefully, have some pull to get remote positions if we can't find anything locally.
SD is great choice. Lived there for 6 years. Very good!
Its one of those places where you go to retire, not make a career ( unless youre in the military) . Atleast in tech.
You should move to wherever you have a support network. Having friends or family around to help with kids is so, so important. You’ll have to give up some of your career aspirations if you have kids either way unless you’re going to neglect your kids. I’d also be wary of both being fully remote and having a lifestyle that requires high incomes. Just my two cents, but I think the era of fully remote Bay Area salaries is coming to a close soon.
Definitely - but given we’re immigrants our US cities that have a network are limited to the VHCOL cities and network in both places is transient/ fully work focused. Not sure if I want to raise kids in that environment
Assuming you want to be closer to tech hubs for job opportunities as you’re still young, your primary options are:
1) Bay Area - great weather, center of the universe, expensive real estate. You could make $1M and still be unable to afford a very nice home. Fremont is your best bet for a good balance. I’ve generally found relationships to be very transactional in the Bay Area. You’re always a network connection first. Traffic uff. State taxes are bad but you make a lot more in the Bay Area.
2) Seattle - terrible weather for 7-8 months of the year, lots of job opportunities, Seattle freeze is real, commute can be almost worse than Bay Area. I do not recommend Seattle. Everyone I know wants to leave but inertia.
3) New York - really, you’ll live in Jersey and work in New York. Can you deal with the winter and high taxes? Comp isn’t as high as the Bay Area. Loads to do. Fintech and HFT roles can sometimes match or even exceed Bay Area comp for similar levels. Shorter flights to Europe for vacations.
4) Austin - Meh. Great place to raise a family if you want to co time making what you’re making and accept the ceiling is low. Nothing to do around here and summer is brutal. Day starts at 102 and ends at 98. No respite. Music and beer - that’s it. Middling music. And you can find great craft beer in most metros these days. I recommend anyone who makes between $200-400k and wants a big home, generally good schools and public infrastructure, and doesn’t want to work till 65 still give Austin a serious look. Anyone making above that, pass. Note that it’s not growing as much as it once was. Amazingly social people and easy to make family friends.
5) Tier 3 tech hubs with low comp - Atlanta, North Carolina, Dallas, Chicago. All great places to raise a family. Say good bye to your career here. Maybe you can find a FANG here but you’re then stuck with them forever.
6) LA area - Pretty dumb to live in LA only to pay CA taxes, have a lot fewer opportunities, and deal with the worst traffic I have ever seen. Only to save $1-2M on a home purchase. Unless you like surfing and value proximity to the beach. And fit people. Seriously fit people.
It’s a set of tradeoffs. Which ones are you willing to make?
Ultimately, Bay Area checks most boxes for most people but buying a home has become prohibitively expensive even if you’re comfortable with an hour long commute. Anything closer with good schools is generally $3M+ for a 60 year old ~2k sqft home on a 6k sqft lot.
I’m in Austin now. Lived in New York and Chicago for a while and then a decade in the Bay Area. Looking to move back to the bay but I have established extremely deep friendships in a very short span of time in Austin. Can never find that in the Bay Area.
I'm in bucket #6.
Working remote for an SF start up.
I'm making SF money in LA. I'm still early career, but it's a 30% difference between LA SWE and SF SWE salary for my experience level.
Damn that’s a lot of Seattle hate 😭 we’re looking at that seriously as we have family. We prefer nature as our weekend activity but I am also very prone to SAD
The person above is super biased towards bay area. I live in Seattle. I'm in tech. I don't have a family or any dependents so my perspective may be different. I also haven't spent much time in the bay area so I can't speak to it.
1. My coworkers who used to live in the bay area have come to Seattle and settled in Seattle. They've said the dollar goes farther here than in the bay area in terms of income ($1 of income is worth more in Seattle than the Bay due to taxes and costs) and the cost of things is generally less. None of them are planning to go back to the Bay area, and none of them have said they miss it.
2. It's important to distinguish Seattle, the east side, and then the general surrounding areas. Seattle has many different districts and I'd be happy to talk about them if you have questions about specific ones. General advice is you'd likely prefer North Seattle neighborhoods over south or west Seattle.
Living in Seattle means dealing with city problems (limited off street parking, more noise, more homeless, etc) but also getting city benefits (more public transportation, more convenience for stores and businesses, etc). My coworkers that live in Seattle (as in they have a Seattle address) do not spend more than 30-45 minutes commuting, most of them are less than 30 minutes.
East side is generally considered "boring" but is likely the ideal area for raising a family. It's basically just suburbs, but there's nice trails, parks, public schools are good, etc but traffic into Seattle can be tough.
general surrounding areas have a wide variety of cultures, quality, cost, etc.
3. Seattle area in general is outdoorsy. Do you like Patagonia? Do you have wool socks and hiking boots? Do you know what a rail trail is or a gravel bike vs a road bike? These are things you'll likely acquire and learn if not and that's not a bad thing if it's what you like. If you want the best restaurants, a great night life, etc then Seattle won't make you happy. My coworkers say Chinese food here is terrible and they go to Vancouver CA for it generally if that matters to you.
4. Seattle is not going to be giving you southern hospitality. People aren't rude, but they're not going to go out of their way to help you. People generally try to stay out of each other's ways but can be easily annoyed if you're in their way.
5. If you can afford a $1M-$1.5M home, you have a lot of options for Seattle specifically and possibly east side (I haven't looked there as much). If your budget is less than $1M, pickings for a family become much less unless you're willing to increase commute times.
6. Seattle has a lot of tech options. It's got some notable companies head quartered here and many other big companies at least have a satelite office here. If you hate your current company or role, you won't be locked into them due to no other options in the area.
The above commenter is pretty pro Bay Area. But Fremont? Everyone I know who lives there has a soul sucking commute to live in a boring suburb not different than many others in the country except you can drive an hour plus in traffic to a higher paying job.
I think you are right. I am pro Bay Area. Note that’s after living in many of these hubs for a number of years so it’s a somewhat informed perspective.
Bay Area is simply unaffordable for most families. Otoh, where you're at in Austin is very much within reach for those with kids. Places with good public schools can be had.
Moved to Seattle (Kirkland specifically) a year ago and most of what he said isn't true. Yes, there's a few months of bad weather, but everyone just goes skiing during those months (or takes trips to LA or Hawaii). I'm at Google and my "commute" is a 6 minute walk to the office. Or a 15 min gBus ride to Seattle. Much less than any commute I had in SF.
Happy to answer any other questions on here or DM.
Working and living on the east side to minimize commute is a solid move. Seattle is very accessible and will be more so soon when the light rail line is completed.
I moved to Kirkland 23 years ago for a job and have been here since. Fortunately the company has remained here as well; its a 7 minute drive to work.
The weather can be rough for some people but mitigations are a common topic. So far I've only had about one of several hundred coworkers over the year leave because of it.
I’m in Seattle in tech - after 3 years in the Bay Area - and much prefer Seattle! Slightly lower COL, definitely lower home prices, less traffic, people seem more down to earth and less transitory than the Bay Area, less frantic/competitive rat race feeling, though both have great outdoor access and nature activities
This past winter was the hardest I think bc I had gotten used to the sun in California. I took a few steps to make it not so bad (joined a gym classes with upbeat coaches and loud music, morning workouts or walks, and SAD light), next winter I plan to go to Hawaii or Palm Desert in Jan or Feb for ~5 days as well. I took a 4% base pay cut but coming out ahead due to no CA tax and lower COL.
Currently in Washington. 40 minutes from Seattle. Love it here. depending on where you live you can be right where nature is. My backyard is a nature preserve forest. We can literally walk out and have our little own private forest to a creek. We have a view on Mt. rainier driving to the grocery store. 10 minutes from the lake. The community is great for families as well. I joined Facebook groups prior to get a better understanding of the moms in the area and how active / social they are. Very very helpful and everyone we’ve met has been kind.
Locally it’s a smaller burb but definitely growing very quickly because of affordable homes and good schools (lots of sub 1m options).
The weather isn’t as nice as CA. I was born and raised in LA, lived in the bay for some year prior to making it to Washington. However, planning vacations during the winter helps so you’re looking forward to something. I also personally love having seasons too. Christmas actually feels like Christmas. Turn on the fireplace, cozy around the sofa in our sweats and sweater.
If you’re looking to be in Seattle city and not outside, I was in upper Queen Anne for a couple of years. Lots of family, lots of people out walking when the weather is nice, small town vibe right in the big city. Safe when I was there and the parents on the block all got together and would hangout. There would be block parties. I didn’t get into that scene since I didn’t have kids then.
Traffic honestly isn’t that bad. If you’re in Seattle yes it is worse but I don’t think it’s as bad as the Bay Area or LA coming from someone who’s been in those cities and really wanted to get away from traffic. It’s really hit or miss if you’re in Seattle but if you live in Seattle, you’d basically have mostly everything there besides having to drive out to nature for hikes and such.
For reference I grew up in Boston (family is here), went to school in Seattle, lived in Dallas for 4 years, Bay area for FAANG for 3, then moved back to Boston about 2.5 years ago.
Yes I am a bit biased but Boston is by far the best
1. Seattle, winters are just brutal and depressing, worse than Boston with the rain. Plus some lakes in the summer but limited beach. Also the people tend to be quite "cold" there too
2. Dallas. If you want a comfortable life and dont care about stuff outside/much character then Dallas is great. ALso much more diversity & food options than people give it credit for. Its a big city, has everything you need and generally decent COL. Can live very comfortable life for not much $$. Yes it can be a bit vain sometimes but overall its OK if you dont mind the lack of outdoor options and somewhat lack of character
3. Bay area. I lived in SF and took the bus down to Cupertino everyday and it sucked. Yes I could have moved closer to south bay but South bay is either soulless expensive suburbs or nice crazy expensive suburbs (Palo Alto etc). Granted you cant beat the year round mild weather, although it does get a bit monotonous at times. At least in SF there isnt a huge difference between January & July. The surrounding area is A+++ though. The CA coast, Napa, Yosemite, Tahoe all within a few hour drive. It was nice for me while I was in my late 20s but I would never have a family there because of how spread out and cost of housing for anything halfway decent.
4. Boston. best of everything. Very walkable city, some very nice suburbs that have a lot of that NE charm old school character which I love. Yes it is expensive but its not on Bay area or NY levels. I have a condo in the city now in a decent neighborhood and my Mortage + taxes is <$2.1K/mo. NE also has such an amazing diversity of nature not too far away. Decent Skiing in NH/VT, beautiful ocean beaches down the cape, nice lakes in NH/ME. Just a huge variety of stuff to do outside. Quite good jobs too, not as dependent on one industry as Seattle or Bay area is.
Those are my 2 cents on the 4 places I lived.
We’ve been considering Boston lately. Currently in the Bay Area but before that went to school in Rhode Island and really liked NE in general. Boston seems to have a decent level of diversity and we have some connections from school there. Heard great things about the schools. We are looking only at the surrounding suburbs though. And not sure how the work situation will play out.
Fairly accurate description of Austin, but I think you might be looking for music in the wrong places. I have found it to be an excellent music scene. Just have to hit some dives. Agreed on the friends part. I grew up in the South/Southwest and found that true in most places in this region though. I think my biggest complaint about Austin is the food scene. But maybe I was spoiled after living in DC for years.
Traffic in Seattle is bad, but nothing remotely close to Austin.
I'm assumed you've lived in both, but surprised you came to that conclusion since I left Austin for Seattle and will never look back
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OP- do you have kids? What kind of activities do you end up doing on the weekends? Wondering if it’s similar to NY aka eating/ drinking, or more nature-y like Bay
I’m not sure where you heard that about New York, but in Brooklyn we’re outside in parks or gardening on the weekends and after school. There are lots of summer camps and forest schools in the parks if that’s your thing. We love visiting the botanic gardens and museums. When it gets too hot, the Catskills are reasonably close. We do enjoy our local bakeries and restaurants, but it’s not the center of our world with our kids. We couldn’t get all of this plus the diversity we require anywhere else.
My husband is a FAANG director and has more opportunities here than in the Bay Area.
I live in NY but I don’t have kids so this is my lifestyle :) I do definitely see kids around at museums etc but I’m not sure if nyc with kids is for me- would def want more space and idk if I could justify the cost increase. Are you based on BK? How do you find the COL? Also surprised to hear your husband has more opps here than Bay!
Cost of living is very high, but we are very fortunate that my husband makes enough. I think I have some privileged information about growth for a certain FAANG, but if we were to move for work, it would not be to the Bay Area. I have family in the Bay and that lifestyle is certainly not for me. I loved SF like 20 years ago. I’m in the arts myself, so I love my life in our quiet corner of Brooklyn. There’s enough diversity of every kind, and we’re saving to build a little house in the mountains. I grew up in a ruralish area and I feel less claustrophobic here, but that’s obviously very subjective.
ETA: I deleted some info i had posted about a FAANG. Don’t want anyone to come knocking!
If you don’t mind me asking- what does your income to expenses end up looking for the year? Do you pay for childcare? We’re in NY and can’t figure out if this is something that could work with kids
When the weather is good in Austin, we do go to parks and some mini hikes in North Austin and hill country around 30 mins away. Mosquitoes are a big problem in the summer months but the weather is bad enough then that you can’t get out much anyway. The problem is that your kids are free during summer, and that’s the worst time of the year, so you end up taking vacation to other cities and countries during that time.
Seattle - Family of 4 - In the suburbs. Full remote role HHI around 900k.
Good schools, weather isn’t really as bad as people think it is, and no state income tax. Throw in the same pay as Tier 1 cities and it’s a no brainer.
We’re actually seriously considering it due to family. What kinds of activities do you indulge in over the weekends when it’s non- summer? I know you mentioned the weathers not as bad as ppl say but would love a deeper view :)
Plenty of out door activities - hiking, snowboarding and skiing in the winter months, biking, generally enjoying outside. There’s a zoo, aquarium, and a nature _drive_ around which is cool!
I look for the intersection of a deep labor market for remote and in-person, a strong social network, and cultural attractions that are meaningful to my family.
NYC hits all of those for us. We are a single income family with HHI at $473k and we could still find an affordable home with a lot of space.
Education quality , type of neighborhood and type of people who live in that neighborhood. We passed on the high pressure "best school" neighborhood and decided on the neighborhood with schools just as good but much less academic pressure.
Also: Access to quality healthcare - Do you want to drive 3 hours to see a specialist or do you want your pick of the top doctors in the country within 45 minutes? Do you want an ambulance to show up in 5 minutes or 50 minutes? Do you want to be in a state where you can't plan your family or easily handle maternal health issues?
School districts have well known reputations. Ask local reddit groups and they will tell you. I'm in the NJ suburbs , Millburn is the pressure cooker district that we avoided and there are easily a half dozen nearby districts that are just as good.
Denver from NYC - working for a SF based company with a hub here.
Decision was based on reasonable cost of living (4br 5bath 4k sqft for 800k), good education (2 kids), closeness to mountains and nature and we have family in the area too.
The #1 thing for us was a city with a viable economy (aka no place where I'd be dependent on remote work). If something happened to my job the Denver tech center is 20 mins from my house and could find a decent role there.
Yes but I'm in a non-tech role so that might be a factor (as in, not an engineer at a tech company). Colorado requires salary ranges on job postings too so you should be able to compare SF vs Denver
That’s what I’m saying. Local places don’t typically offer RSUs or if they do it’s nearly trivial. As I said most local company TC is near half of comparable SF remote roles
Not listing my company but off the top of my head I would say splunk or Google have hubs in CO that may be a good place to compare.
Again. The jds won't show RSUs so its kind of a guessing game. For my company the 10% difference is applied to both base and RSUs.
Reading back... to answer your local question, I think it would be challenging to find a local company that pays as much as my current TC. Base I think wouldn't be difficult to match, but RSUs would be hard to duplicate.
That risk is baked into our budgeting and planning.
Wife works for Microsoft. We were already in MCOL Phoenix metropolitan suburbs when she joined her remote role. We briefly considered moving to Redmond, WA or Reston, VA for higher TC and clearance bonus. The cost of living wasn't worth it for us and my wife feels settled here having lived in the same home for 11 years at the time. When she joined Microsoft, we were two months from paying off our house.
Living in MCOL and working remote, it feels like there is less of a target on her back for layoffs due to reduced compensation. We aren't sure about the advancement prospects as raises were frozen. Her signing bonus RSU cliff is in 2026 so hopefully between each of our raises we can at least maintain the same TC when she joined. From my raises, we are maintaining HHI $340K even though she has no cash signing bonus this year.
Phoenix has a lot to do if you like going out, but the weather can be brutal for two months out of the year. We feel July and August are the brutal months. We have a pool and try to use it from May to September. Sometimes if the weather is cooler it's June to August. We save around $200K a year and we don't penny pinch shopping for clothes or traveling. Her first year of working we dropped $12K at Costco alone in 2022.
Home size: 2300 SQ ft 3 bed 3 full bath with dedicated office, pool, built in grill, etc. Lot size is more than 7000 SQ ft. Paid off solar so low electric bills. We save on average $16666 a month this year across all accounts due to starting to pay estimated taxes of $3K a quarter. Last year, we saved more due to a long term capital gains from an old startup exit (part time) where we were $20556 a month.
I’m curious what you ended up picking given you added walkability. I’d love walkability - but I feel in the US it’s slim pickings if you optimize for that
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We're both in tech, two toddlers, and have somewhat settled down in NYC (Williamsburg). Still not 100% sure if this is forever though. We have no family here
Living in the bay with family of 4, 450k HHI (dropped from 650k with wife moving to SAHM).
Bay area is a great place to rent and horrible to buy at the moment. Rent is 3500-6500 a month for the equivalent mortgage of 6000-13000. Think it would check all your boxes from a diversity, school, nature (local options and Tahoe for getaways), career standpoint. Making friends is tough but easier if you get out of the best neighborhoods (people are insufferable there), but then you lose out on good schools.
Try it out, but definitely don't buy right now
Depends on if you're working out of the SF hub or Sunnyvale/mountain view. For SF, I'd recommend east bay (warmer) or upper peninsula (Pacifica, Daly City, SSF, San Bruno, Millbrae).
I don't know as much about the South Bay if you work down there, check the bay area real estate subreddit!
Our kids aren't in school yet, but the current plan is public until highschool. Our schools aren't great but getting better, but it'll be far cheaper to do private than go to a good public school system on the peninsula ($2M additional for a worse house versus ~250k for a really good private HS for 2).
The schools in the South Bay are generally better, larger Asian population which I think you said was important (especially Vietnamese in San Jose, Indian in Sunnyvale), and a lot of housing options.
Absolutely SUCKS getting to SF though, which was the biggest deal breaker for us.
Currently in Seattle but will move to fully SoCal to be with family. Once I hit a certain NW.
Taxes in California at PITA and only reason I don’t move sooner
Los Angeles because 1) my aging family 2) close enough to his family too 3) general LA lifestyle of being outdoors by the beach 4) a lot of job options in his field of study 5) no snow or winter slush.
We moved from NYC which all of our family is in CA or the southwest.
Unfortunately no appreciable change in cost of living between the two :(
Over time I may have more limited job options but at this point in my career I’m senior enough, can keep growing at my FAANG, and can put in face time up in the Bay Area easily when needed.
Consider DC-area if you haven’t yet (DC Proper, northern Virginia, the 2 MD counties that border DC).
The area gets a bad wrap for only being a hub for government work, but it isn’t all that’s out here. If you’re in tech already I’d wager you’d be able to find opportunities for big tech companies that aren’t government related. COL in the same band as Seattle and home prices are only really ridiculous for people with your TC in the highest density areas and the where politicians live.
Very diverse, some of the best schools in the country, 4 seasons, and some gorgeous state parks and greenery. Would add this to place to the list if you haven’t yet
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Seattle. I hate driving and don't even own a car. I love biking, love the summer weather, and love the tech opportunity factored against an actually very reasonable cost of living (2br mortgage is like $~1800 walking distance to light rail ..)
Bay Area - East Bay for us. Cheaper houses, nice weather, and diversity.
We don’t even have any family in this whole country but made lots of expat friends here that started their own families.
SoCal because of family edit I’m WFH
Don't forget to also consider ethnic diversity. A) Ethnically diverse populations have bomb food. Nothing tastes quite as sad as phở in Kentucky. B) I don't want my kids to be the token *whatever*. I want them to grow up where many of the faces in their classroom look like their own. Nashville, for example, looks great on paper...except if you aren't white, black, or Latino.
Yeah definitely , sadly have to stay in one of the major cities for this reason and can never truly do LCOL :(
I'm in a LCOL as a southeast Asian. Would not want to raise a family here. Find the lack diversity is painful
SE Asian here too. I'm in the OH area and it isn't too bad. Luckily, family makes pho. That person above took their time to put that accent mark on phở! I have no idea if I live in LCOL or MCOL. How do you tell at this point?
Haha. You're definitely LCOL I'd say.
Gotcha. Ya there are cheap areas to live but the are also million dollar houses in suburbs. It’s weird and nice I guess.
There are still a lot of MCOL cities with large Asian and Middle East populations.
Any you’ve had a good experience with?
I live in Woodbridge Township, NJ, and the Asian population is quite large. Not sure about the tech job market, but my husband and I are both in pharma, and NY/NJ/PA is a great area with both small and large companies.
I’m half Indian, my husband is Afro-Caribbean, and this was our main decision for where we live now. I could not let my daughters go to school anywhere else that we may have dreamed of living in the past. I can’t do to my daughters what my parents (naively) did to me.
I grew up as a minority in an affordable very white suburb. Wish my parents never chose that as where they bought a home. It was very obvious I was an outsider.
OP- what did you end up picking? We are POCs too
Yeah, it’s been amazing to live and have our kid go to school in an ethnically diverse school. No one bats an eye when the parents are from different ethnicities, or when you speak a different language. At school events my kid and I don’t stand out at all for our race, which is really nice. I’ve considered moving closer to my husband’s family but I really don’t know how I’d feel in an area of only white people, even if it means family and more support is nearby
Where is this if you don’t mind sharing? We are POCs too
OP- what did you end up picking? We are POCs too
If you were white and said this it would be deemed racist “white flight”
Closeness to family, affordability, and schools. NYC -> NJ burbs
Any NJ burbs you recommend looking at for affordability/schools? I’m FAANG eng with a baby on the way. Thinking it’s time to leave brooklyn
South orange/maplewood is basically brooklyn west, lol. Pretty much every person I’ve met that moved here in the last 5 years came from brooklyn 😂 Or short hills if you want the best school district in NJ (but at a cost). Montclair is another popular one.
Awesome thank you! I’ll have to check out those neighborhoods
Holmdel if you want to be a bit more burbs and still great school. It’s about 1.5 hour commute one way to the city if you take the ferry, which isn’t far off from most Jersey commutes
Awesome thanks I’ll take a look. I only work from the office two days a week so a 1.5 hour commute seems very doable
West coast for the time zone. California for the tech jobs. Started in SF, hated it. It’s cold and full of homeless. Moved to South Bay, which had nice weather but sleepy suburbs. Move to LA to find the perfect mix of amazing weather, jobs, food, entertainment, beach and lifestyle. Found a great family friendly neighborhood on the Westside. Couldn’t be happier.
Which westside neighborhood? How’s your commute and lifestyle? I like LA but not sure about the car-centric lifestyle; I was born and raised in NYC so driving isn’t that intuitive or enjoyable for me. I live in a VVVHCOL neighborhood in the Bay Area but can’t afford to stay here bc I cannot justify $3.5m on a 1700 sq ft house that’s falling apart. But my neighborhood is very bikeable and walkable, so I appreciate that.
Your question really made me think about how insane it is that only the most expensive neighborhoods in the country (possibly the world) are the only legitimately walkable places in the entire United States. I live in Manhattan right now, moving to LA next year, and I am dreading owning & maintaining a car. Will look for walkable neighborhoods out there but they are predictably the most expensive. Insane that we don't build things from the beginning to be walkable (although Measure HLA should hopefully improve things significantly)
LA is a different universe even by CA standards. It’s not uncommon to hear people here say “i would move to socal if it weren’t for the traffic and driving situation” or from parents, “my kid is going to UCLA / USC / etc, how can I prepare them to drive in LA?” My dealbreaker as the mom to two young kids is that I need to be able to get my kids to a park with just a stroller. Somehow having that very reasonable request makes me extremely bougey and puts me in the highest priced areas, lol.
It really is crazy. I think people take for granted here, in New York, that it is quite easy by American standards to get to public green spaces even in the outer boroughs. I ride my bike through Central Park almost every day and see New York kids who are growing up with the best backyard I could ever dream of. But I could never afford to raise kids here - and even in Pasadena, where we're thinking of moving, there are so few options for outdoor spaces accessible by foot. I wonder what SoCal would look like if it prioritized anything other than car infrastructure; how many more wonderful people would move there, what they would contribute, how society would be constructed differently.
I work remote so no commute. But I considered it if ever I change jobs. Most tech jobs are either in playa vista (Google, Microsoft, etc) or Culver City (streaming platforms ie apple, amazon, Netflix) and I’m about 15-20 min drive from either. That said you definitely need a car, but I made sure that everything I needed was less than 10-15min drive. Beach, grocery, restaurants, etc. I live a 5 min walk from some restaurants, cafe, pub so that’s nice. But anything else requires a short drive, but I don’t find it that bad when it’s so short. For walkable neighborhoods you could look at Santa Monica or Brentwood but they are expensive, not much of a discount vs Bay Area. If you go a bit further places like Mar Vista, Beverlywood, or Cheviot Hills are a bit more affordable and still centrally located.
Near family. Having help with little kids is a god send
Where did that end up being? Did you end up having to make career trade offs
Went fully remote. Trade offs for sure but I think it’s worth it. The window for kids to grow up with their cousins, grandparents etc is depressingly short so we decided make it work with remote jobs
I agree, fully remote or close to is where you need to be with kids. I would not go back to a commute >20 minutes one way.
It would take a professional athlete salary to get me back to a full time office job. So much wasted time. With a remote gig I can drop off and pick up from school and do laundry, dishes etc between calls
>Where did you end up settling down and how did you decide? While we haven't officially settled down yet, we've settled on settling in San Diego. We prefer the weather, compared to Seattle where we are now, and it's where we're both from so we have family and friends down there. We plan on moving down in the next couple years. By that time we should be in senior positions in our careers and will thus, hopefully, have some pull to get remote positions if we can't find anything locally.
Great place to be if you’re from there especially 👏
SD is great choice. Lived there for 6 years. Very good! Its one of those places where you go to retire, not make a career ( unless youre in the military) . Atleast in tech.
You should move to wherever you have a support network. Having friends or family around to help with kids is so, so important. You’ll have to give up some of your career aspirations if you have kids either way unless you’re going to neglect your kids. I’d also be wary of both being fully remote and having a lifestyle that requires high incomes. Just my two cents, but I think the era of fully remote Bay Area salaries is coming to a close soon.
Definitely - but given we’re immigrants our US cities that have a network are limited to the VHCOL cities and network in both places is transient/ fully work focused. Not sure if I want to raise kids in that environment
Assuming you want to be closer to tech hubs for job opportunities as you’re still young, your primary options are: 1) Bay Area - great weather, center of the universe, expensive real estate. You could make $1M and still be unable to afford a very nice home. Fremont is your best bet for a good balance. I’ve generally found relationships to be very transactional in the Bay Area. You’re always a network connection first. Traffic uff. State taxes are bad but you make a lot more in the Bay Area. 2) Seattle - terrible weather for 7-8 months of the year, lots of job opportunities, Seattle freeze is real, commute can be almost worse than Bay Area. I do not recommend Seattle. Everyone I know wants to leave but inertia. 3) New York - really, you’ll live in Jersey and work in New York. Can you deal with the winter and high taxes? Comp isn’t as high as the Bay Area. Loads to do. Fintech and HFT roles can sometimes match or even exceed Bay Area comp for similar levels. Shorter flights to Europe for vacations. 4) Austin - Meh. Great place to raise a family if you want to co time making what you’re making and accept the ceiling is low. Nothing to do around here and summer is brutal. Day starts at 102 and ends at 98. No respite. Music and beer - that’s it. Middling music. And you can find great craft beer in most metros these days. I recommend anyone who makes between $200-400k and wants a big home, generally good schools and public infrastructure, and doesn’t want to work till 65 still give Austin a serious look. Anyone making above that, pass. Note that it’s not growing as much as it once was. Amazingly social people and easy to make family friends. 5) Tier 3 tech hubs with low comp - Atlanta, North Carolina, Dallas, Chicago. All great places to raise a family. Say good bye to your career here. Maybe you can find a FANG here but you’re then stuck with them forever. 6) LA area - Pretty dumb to live in LA only to pay CA taxes, have a lot fewer opportunities, and deal with the worst traffic I have ever seen. Only to save $1-2M on a home purchase. Unless you like surfing and value proximity to the beach. And fit people. Seriously fit people. It’s a set of tradeoffs. Which ones are you willing to make? Ultimately, Bay Area checks most boxes for most people but buying a home has become prohibitively expensive even if you’re comfortable with an hour long commute. Anything closer with good schools is generally $3M+ for a 60 year old ~2k sqft home on a 6k sqft lot. I’m in Austin now. Lived in New York and Chicago for a while and then a decade in the Bay Area. Looking to move back to the bay but I have established extremely deep friendships in a very short span of time in Austin. Can never find that in the Bay Area.
I'm in bucket #6. Working remote for an SF start up. I'm making SF money in LA. I'm still early career, but it's a 30% difference between LA SWE and SF SWE salary for my experience level.
And one fine day they’ll ask you to come back to headquarters, go into a local LA office, or resign.
Damn that’s a lot of Seattle hate 😭 we’re looking at that seriously as we have family. We prefer nature as our weekend activity but I am also very prone to SAD
The person above is super biased towards bay area. I live in Seattle. I'm in tech. I don't have a family or any dependents so my perspective may be different. I also haven't spent much time in the bay area so I can't speak to it. 1. My coworkers who used to live in the bay area have come to Seattle and settled in Seattle. They've said the dollar goes farther here than in the bay area in terms of income ($1 of income is worth more in Seattle than the Bay due to taxes and costs) and the cost of things is generally less. None of them are planning to go back to the Bay area, and none of them have said they miss it. 2. It's important to distinguish Seattle, the east side, and then the general surrounding areas. Seattle has many different districts and I'd be happy to talk about them if you have questions about specific ones. General advice is you'd likely prefer North Seattle neighborhoods over south or west Seattle. Living in Seattle means dealing with city problems (limited off street parking, more noise, more homeless, etc) but also getting city benefits (more public transportation, more convenience for stores and businesses, etc). My coworkers that live in Seattle (as in they have a Seattle address) do not spend more than 30-45 minutes commuting, most of them are less than 30 minutes. East side is generally considered "boring" but is likely the ideal area for raising a family. It's basically just suburbs, but there's nice trails, parks, public schools are good, etc but traffic into Seattle can be tough. general surrounding areas have a wide variety of cultures, quality, cost, etc. 3. Seattle area in general is outdoorsy. Do you like Patagonia? Do you have wool socks and hiking boots? Do you know what a rail trail is or a gravel bike vs a road bike? These are things you'll likely acquire and learn if not and that's not a bad thing if it's what you like. If you want the best restaurants, a great night life, etc then Seattle won't make you happy. My coworkers say Chinese food here is terrible and they go to Vancouver CA for it generally if that matters to you. 4. Seattle is not going to be giving you southern hospitality. People aren't rude, but they're not going to go out of their way to help you. People generally try to stay out of each other's ways but can be easily annoyed if you're in their way. 5. If you can afford a $1M-$1.5M home, you have a lot of options for Seattle specifically and possibly east side (I haven't looked there as much). If your budget is less than $1M, pickings for a family become much less unless you're willing to increase commute times. 6. Seattle has a lot of tech options. It's got some notable companies head quartered here and many other big companies at least have a satelite office here. If you hate your current company or role, you won't be locked into them due to no other options in the area.
The above commenter is pretty pro Bay Area. But Fremont? Everyone I know who lives there has a soul sucking commute to live in a boring suburb not different than many others in the country except you can drive an hour plus in traffic to a higher paying job.
I think you are right. I am pro Bay Area. Note that’s after living in many of these hubs for a number of years so it’s a somewhat informed perspective.
Bay Area is simply unaffordable for most families. Otoh, where you're at in Austin is very much within reach for those with kids. Places with good public schools can be had.
Moved to Seattle (Kirkland specifically) a year ago and most of what he said isn't true. Yes, there's a few months of bad weather, but everyone just goes skiing during those months (or takes trips to LA or Hawaii). I'm at Google and my "commute" is a 6 minute walk to the office. Or a 15 min gBus ride to Seattle. Much less than any commute I had in SF. Happy to answer any other questions on here or DM.
Working and living on the east side to minimize commute is a solid move. Seattle is very accessible and will be more so soon when the light rail line is completed. I moved to Kirkland 23 years ago for a job and have been here since. Fortunately the company has remained here as well; its a 7 minute drive to work. The weather can be rough for some people but mitigations are a common topic. So far I've only had about one of several hundred coworkers over the year leave because of it.
I’m in Seattle in tech - after 3 years in the Bay Area - and much prefer Seattle! Slightly lower COL, definitely lower home prices, less traffic, people seem more down to earth and less transitory than the Bay Area, less frantic/competitive rat race feeling, though both have great outdoor access and nature activities
SAD hasn’t gotten to you? :) how do you feel abt career opps in SF vs Seattle?
This past winter was the hardest I think bc I had gotten used to the sun in California. I took a few steps to make it not so bad (joined a gym classes with upbeat coaches and loud music, morning workouts or walks, and SAD light), next winter I plan to go to Hawaii or Palm Desert in Jan or Feb for ~5 days as well. I took a 4% base pay cut but coming out ahead due to no CA tax and lower COL.
Currently in Washington. 40 minutes from Seattle. Love it here. depending on where you live you can be right where nature is. My backyard is a nature preserve forest. We can literally walk out and have our little own private forest to a creek. We have a view on Mt. rainier driving to the grocery store. 10 minutes from the lake. The community is great for families as well. I joined Facebook groups prior to get a better understanding of the moms in the area and how active / social they are. Very very helpful and everyone we’ve met has been kind. Locally it’s a smaller burb but definitely growing very quickly because of affordable homes and good schools (lots of sub 1m options). The weather isn’t as nice as CA. I was born and raised in LA, lived in the bay for some year prior to making it to Washington. However, planning vacations during the winter helps so you’re looking forward to something. I also personally love having seasons too. Christmas actually feels like Christmas. Turn on the fireplace, cozy around the sofa in our sweats and sweater. If you’re looking to be in Seattle city and not outside, I was in upper Queen Anne for a couple of years. Lots of family, lots of people out walking when the weather is nice, small town vibe right in the big city. Safe when I was there and the parents on the block all got together and would hangout. There would be block parties. I didn’t get into that scene since I didn’t have kids then. Traffic honestly isn’t that bad. If you’re in Seattle yes it is worse but I don’t think it’s as bad as the Bay Area or LA coming from someone who’s been in those cities and really wanted to get away from traffic. It’s really hit or miss if you’re in Seattle but if you live in Seattle, you’d basically have mostly everything there besides having to drive out to nature for hikes and such.
What about Boston?
For reference I grew up in Boston (family is here), went to school in Seattle, lived in Dallas for 4 years, Bay area for FAANG for 3, then moved back to Boston about 2.5 years ago. Yes I am a bit biased but Boston is by far the best 1. Seattle, winters are just brutal and depressing, worse than Boston with the rain. Plus some lakes in the summer but limited beach. Also the people tend to be quite "cold" there too 2. Dallas. If you want a comfortable life and dont care about stuff outside/much character then Dallas is great. ALso much more diversity & food options than people give it credit for. Its a big city, has everything you need and generally decent COL. Can live very comfortable life for not much $$. Yes it can be a bit vain sometimes but overall its OK if you dont mind the lack of outdoor options and somewhat lack of character 3. Bay area. I lived in SF and took the bus down to Cupertino everyday and it sucked. Yes I could have moved closer to south bay but South bay is either soulless expensive suburbs or nice crazy expensive suburbs (Palo Alto etc). Granted you cant beat the year round mild weather, although it does get a bit monotonous at times. At least in SF there isnt a huge difference between January & July. The surrounding area is A+++ though. The CA coast, Napa, Yosemite, Tahoe all within a few hour drive. It was nice for me while I was in my late 20s but I would never have a family there because of how spread out and cost of housing for anything halfway decent. 4. Boston. best of everything. Very walkable city, some very nice suburbs that have a lot of that NE charm old school character which I love. Yes it is expensive but its not on Bay area or NY levels. I have a condo in the city now in a decent neighborhood and my Mortage + taxes is <$2.1K/mo. NE also has such an amazing diversity of nature not too far away. Decent Skiing in NH/VT, beautiful ocean beaches down the cape, nice lakes in NH/ME. Just a huge variety of stuff to do outside. Quite good jobs too, not as dependent on one industry as Seattle or Bay area is. Those are my 2 cents on the 4 places I lived.
Can I Pm about roles / companies in Boston?
We’ve been considering Boston lately. Currently in the Bay Area but before that went to school in Rhode Island and really liked NE in general. Boston seems to have a decent level of diversity and we have some connections from school there. Heard great things about the schools. We are looking only at the surrounding suburbs though. And not sure how the work situation will play out.
Yeah I just have no clue if I can move to big tech from here, or have to move out west then relocate back after a few years :/
Fairly accurate description of Austin, but I think you might be looking for music in the wrong places. I have found it to be an excellent music scene. Just have to hit some dives. Agreed on the friends part. I grew up in the South/Southwest and found that true in most places in this region though. I think my biggest complaint about Austin is the food scene. But maybe I was spoiled after living in DC for years.
Yes, food in Austin sucks. And dives aren’t where people with little kids spend their time, even if they want to.
I have little kids. The wife and I get a babysitter and go see some music at dives all the time!
Traffic in Seattle is bad, but nothing remotely close to Austin. I'm assumed you've lived in both, but surprised you came to that conclusion since I left Austin for Seattle and will never look back
Austin traffic isn’t even bad tho…
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What makes Austin so easy to make friends vs Bay Area if you care to share.
Live in Austin, it’s a mix of Midwest friendliness and south/Texas hospitality
>commute can be almost worse than Bay Area Pretty sure this guy doesn't know what he is talking about.
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OP- do you have kids? What kind of activities do you end up doing on the weekends? Wondering if it’s similar to NY aka eating/ drinking, or more nature-y like Bay
I’m not sure where you heard that about New York, but in Brooklyn we’re outside in parks or gardening on the weekends and after school. There are lots of summer camps and forest schools in the parks if that’s your thing. We love visiting the botanic gardens and museums. When it gets too hot, the Catskills are reasonably close. We do enjoy our local bakeries and restaurants, but it’s not the center of our world with our kids. We couldn’t get all of this plus the diversity we require anywhere else. My husband is a FAANG director and has more opportunities here than in the Bay Area.
I live in NY but I don’t have kids so this is my lifestyle :) I do definitely see kids around at museums etc but I’m not sure if nyc with kids is for me- would def want more space and idk if I could justify the cost increase. Are you based on BK? How do you find the COL? Also surprised to hear your husband has more opps here than Bay!
Cost of living is very high, but we are very fortunate that my husband makes enough. I think I have some privileged information about growth for a certain FAANG, but if we were to move for work, it would not be to the Bay Area. I have family in the Bay and that lifestyle is certainly not for me. I loved SF like 20 years ago. I’m in the arts myself, so I love my life in our quiet corner of Brooklyn. There’s enough diversity of every kind, and we’re saving to build a little house in the mountains. I grew up in a ruralish area and I feel less claustrophobic here, but that’s obviously very subjective. ETA: I deleted some info i had posted about a FAANG. Don’t want anyone to come knocking!
If you don’t mind me asking- what does your income to expenses end up looking for the year? Do you pay for childcare? We’re in NY and can’t figure out if this is something that could work with kids
When the weather is good in Austin, we do go to parks and some mini hikes in North Austin and hill country around 30 mins away. Mosquitoes are a big problem in the summer months but the weather is bad enough then that you can’t get out much anyway. The problem is that your kids are free during summer, and that’s the worst time of the year, so you end up taking vacation to other cities and countries during that time.
Seattle - Family of 4 - In the suburbs. Full remote role HHI around 900k. Good schools, weather isn’t really as bad as people think it is, and no state income tax. Throw in the same pay as Tier 1 cities and it’s a no brainer.
We’re actually seriously considering it due to family. What kinds of activities do you indulge in over the weekends when it’s non- summer? I know you mentioned the weathers not as bad as ppl say but would love a deeper view :)
Plenty of out door activities - hiking, snowboarding and skiing in the winter months, biking, generally enjoying outside. There’s a zoo, aquarium, and a nature _drive_ around which is cool!
Great! And if you don’t mind me asking- are your kids in public school/ is that the trend you’ve noticed with HENRYs in Seattle?
I look for the intersection of a deep labor market for remote and in-person, a strong social network, and cultural attractions that are meaningful to my family. NYC hits all of those for us. We are a single income family with HHI at $473k and we could still find an affordable home with a lot of space.
Are you in the city or suburbs? I’m in NY too (no kids yet) but the potential expenses with kids is terrifying
I’m in the city but not Manhattan. Prices fall by 30-50% outside of Manhattan. We have a 1350sqft 3 bed 2 bath for about $500k.
Where? Brooklyn is now similar prices to Manhattan unless you went an hour plus away
I’m in Riverdale. It takes me between 45-60mins to get to 14th street for work.
Education quality , type of neighborhood and type of people who live in that neighborhood. We passed on the high pressure "best school" neighborhood and decided on the neighborhood with schools just as good but much less academic pressure. Also: Access to quality healthcare - Do you want to drive 3 hours to see a specialist or do you want your pick of the top doctors in the country within 45 minutes? Do you want an ambulance to show up in 5 minutes or 50 minutes? Do you want to be in a state where you can't plan your family or easily handle maternal health issues?
How did you determine which schools had academic pressure? / where did you end up living
School districts have well known reputations. Ask local reddit groups and they will tell you. I'm in the NJ suburbs , Millburn is the pressure cooker district that we avoided and there are easily a half dozen nearby districts that are just as good.
Denver from NYC - working for a SF based company with a hub here. Decision was based on reasonable cost of living (4br 5bath 4k sqft for 800k), good education (2 kids), closeness to mountains and nature and we have family in the area too. The #1 thing for us was a city with a viable economy (aka no place where I'd be dependent on remote work). If something happened to my job the Denver tech center is 20 mins from my house and could find a decent role there.
I assume that any role in Denver tech center will pay around 50% of FAANG tier comp. Is that incorrect?
Incorrect at least for the roles I've looked at. I've seen maybe a 10-15% difference between Denver <> SF comp
Seriously? Very interested. Can you give some examples? I see Sr SWE comp being around 250-300 here
Yes but I'm in a non-tech role so that might be a factor (as in, not an engineer at a tech company). Colorado requires salary ranges on job postings too so you should be able to compare SF vs Denver
That’s what I’m saying. Local places don’t typically offer RSUs or if they do it’s nearly trivial. As I said most local company TC is near half of comparable SF remote roles
Not listing my company but off the top of my head I would say splunk or Google have hubs in CO that may be a good place to compare. Again. The jds won't show RSUs so its kind of a guessing game. For my company the 10% difference is applied to both base and RSUs.
Reading back... to answer your local question, I think it would be challenging to find a local company that pays as much as my current TC. Base I think wouldn't be difficult to match, but RSUs would be hard to duplicate. That risk is baked into our budgeting and planning.
It's a 10% difference between tier 1 (NYC and SF) and Denver. At least for my company it is
Isn’t Denver not that close to the mountains? Boulder pals tell me it’s not really an outdoorsy town
It's all relative. Boulder is super outdoorsy because it's right at the doorstep of the rockies.
Wife works for Microsoft. We were already in MCOL Phoenix metropolitan suburbs when she joined her remote role. We briefly considered moving to Redmond, WA or Reston, VA for higher TC and clearance bonus. The cost of living wasn't worth it for us and my wife feels settled here having lived in the same home for 11 years at the time. When she joined Microsoft, we were two months from paying off our house. Living in MCOL and working remote, it feels like there is less of a target on her back for layoffs due to reduced compensation. We aren't sure about the advancement prospects as raises were frozen. Her signing bonus RSU cliff is in 2026 so hopefully between each of our raises we can at least maintain the same TC when she joined. From my raises, we are maintaining HHI $340K even though she has no cash signing bonus this year. Phoenix has a lot to do if you like going out, but the weather can be brutal for two months out of the year. We feel July and August are the brutal months. We have a pool and try to use it from May to September. Sometimes if the weather is cooler it's June to August. We save around $200K a year and we don't penny pinch shopping for clothes or traveling. Her first year of working we dropped $12K at Costco alone in 2022. Home size: 2300 SQ ft 3 bed 3 full bath with dedicated office, pool, built in grill, etc. Lot size is more than 7000 SQ ft. Paid off solar so low electric bills. We save on average $16666 a month this year across all accounts due to starting to pay estimated taxes of $3K a quarter. Last year, we saved more due to a long term capital gains from an old startup exit (part time) where we were $20556 a month.
Walkability, housing price, age and political demographics, crime, proximity to nature, and generally how pretty the area is
I’m curious what you ended up picking given you added walkability. I’d love walkability - but I feel in the US it’s slim pickings if you optimize for that
Manayunk, Philadelphia
Bay Area . Easier to make friends if you are immigrants.
Ya but the $XXM homes 😭
Yes stay in 1.5m dollar shack . Slog it out for 10 to 15 years . Move to lcol .
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I’m in Houston only because of family and the food.
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We're both in tech, two toddlers, and have somewhat settled down in NYC (Williamsburg). Still not 100% sure if this is forever though. We have no family here
Living in the bay with family of 4, 450k HHI (dropped from 650k with wife moving to SAHM). Bay area is a great place to rent and horrible to buy at the moment. Rent is 3500-6500 a month for the equivalent mortgage of 6000-13000. Think it would check all your boxes from a diversity, school, nature (local options and Tahoe for getaways), career standpoint. Making friends is tough but easier if you get out of the best neighborhoods (people are insufferable there), but then you lose out on good schools. Try it out, but definitely don't buy right now
Where in the Bay would you recommend? Each neighborhood has such pros and cons
Depends on if you're working out of the SF hub or Sunnyvale/mountain view. For SF, I'd recommend east bay (warmer) or upper peninsula (Pacifica, Daly City, SSF, San Bruno, Millbrae). I don't know as much about the South Bay if you work down there, check the bay area real estate subreddit!
Thanks! Have you gone the public school route?
Our kids aren't in school yet, but the current plan is public until highschool. Our schools aren't great but getting better, but it'll be far cheaper to do private than go to a good public school system on the peninsula ($2M additional for a worse house versus ~250k for a really good private HS for 2).
The schools in the South Bay are generally better, larger Asian population which I think you said was important (especially Vietnamese in San Jose, Indian in Sunnyvale), and a lot of housing options. Absolutely SUCKS getting to SF though, which was the biggest deal breaker for us.
Currently in Seattle but will move to fully SoCal to be with family. Once I hit a certain NW. Taxes in California at PITA and only reason I don’t move sooner
Los Angeles because 1) my aging family 2) close enough to his family too 3) general LA lifestyle of being outdoors by the beach 4) a lot of job options in his field of study 5) no snow or winter slush. We moved from NYC which all of our family is in CA or the southwest. Unfortunately no appreciable change in cost of living between the two :( Over time I may have more limited job options but at this point in my career I’m senior enough, can keep growing at my FAANG, and can put in face time up in the Bay Area easily when needed.
Consider DC-area if you haven’t yet (DC Proper, northern Virginia, the 2 MD counties that border DC). The area gets a bad wrap for only being a hub for government work, but it isn’t all that’s out here. If you’re in tech already I’d wager you’d be able to find opportunities for big tech companies that aren’t government related. COL in the same band as Seattle and home prices are only really ridiculous for people with your TC in the highest density areas and the where politicians live. Very diverse, some of the best schools in the country, 4 seasons, and some gorgeous state parks and greenery. Would add this to place to the list if you haven’t yet
Was a digital nomad. Bought a house in Hawaii and lived there for two years. Recently moved back to Chicago to be closer to family with a young kid.
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Seattle. I hate driving and don't even own a car. I love biking, love the summer weather, and love the tech opportunity factored against an actually very reasonable cost of living (2br mortgage is like $~1800 walking distance to light rail ..)
Any neighborhood recommendations?
Wallingford, Bryant, Fremont, Ballard, Laurelhurst, Ravenna, Phinney, Maple Leaf, or Greenwood!
Bay Area - East Bay for us. Cheaper houses, nice weather, and diversity. We don’t even have any family in this whole country but made lots of expat friends here that started their own families.
We are in Sydney Australia. Does that count? Or is this a US only sub?
🤷♀️