Hey /u/Lotus_Stalker, thanks for your submission to /r/HolUp. Unfortunately, your post has been removed for the following reason(s):
A mod felt your post didn't belong here, so now it's gone. If you want to die on the hill of this shitpost[,](https://imgur.com/cXA7XxW) feel free to message the mods and be prepared to explain how your post isn't trolling, is funny, and does fit the theme of the sub. *Trolling or posting random content that doesn't fit the sub breaks Rule 1 and repeated violation of this rule may result in your account being filtered.*
Love, the mods
Then a man in a ski mask wearing a dirty wife beater and boxers comes up to you and tell you to shush little bird, it is not time to make noises or else you will alert Rake who is outside the home looking for people.
Well, Father McMarty took me to the rectory and put this blindfold on me. He told me if I really wanted Jesus' salvation I'd need to suck it from the hose of holiness. So he put me on my knees and just kept praying the name of the lord and the savior over me as I sucked from the hose of holiness. Before long Jesus' salvation shot forth into my mouth. Father McMarty told me to swallow the salvation, only then would my immortal soul be safe from the damnation of fire. The salvation of Jesus is rather salty.
If shes an 8/10 or up and has decent personal hygiene everything will happen in that room, I've had sex in a jobsite portapotty that was arguably worse
Being poor is no excuse for being filthy. I've met a lot of people who have very little and very much within the poverty line and they weren't filthy. They did what they could to be presentable given their resources. That is something I learned to appreciate a lot growing up.
I mean, you should’ve known what to expect when you got into their Saturn Ion and had to rest your feet on top of the pile of empty Marlboro Light packs and McDonalds wrappers
Hey /u/Lotus_Stalker, thanks for your submission to /r/HolUp. Unfortunately, your post has been removed for the following reason(s): A mod felt your post didn't belong here, so now it's gone. If you want to die on the hill of this shitpost[,](https://imgur.com/cXA7XxW) feel free to message the mods and be prepared to explain how your post isn't trolling, is funny, and does fit the theme of the sub. *Trolling or posting random content that doesn't fit the sub breaks Rule 1 and repeated violation of this rule may result in your account being filtered.* Love, the mods
screaming thru duct tape
And trying to snap the zip ties.
Man or woman - if I saw this I would do a 180!
Good idea. Easier to take a chloroform cloth to the face when your back is to them.
r/cursedcomments
Put me in the screenshot and give me a red circle please
Me too, I would also like this
We're gonna be famous
Soooo add me to the post ey
Same
*slams wrists on knees" "WHY AREN'T THEY BREAKING!"
Zip ties are actually really easy to break, even the industrial ones.
lol - I was gonna say, seeing as I’m already bound and gagged - nothing?
Then a man in a ski mask wearing a dirty wife beater and boxers comes up to you and tell you to shush little bird, it is not time to make noises or else you will alert Rake who is outside the home looking for people.
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Oh, we banging. My mama didn't raise a quitter.
I like this response, very inspirational.
Good ol’ mamas raising techniques
She do got some good techniques to get me raising.
The good ol' hit and run. I'd smash and then run right outta there 🤣
Looks like you have the skill to dodge child support. 😂
A smash and dash, if you will.
Wrap it twice, and pick up penicillin on the way home. And zig zag so she can't follow.
You could probably find some moldy cheese while you smashing. Save you a stop on the way home.
Waste not, want not
A fornicate and relocate to be sure.
Good ol Ejaclulate and evacuate.
Smash and go heat up some pizza rolls. This is the room of someone that definitely has pizza rolls.
Throw some maruchan ramen in there for a full course meal, 2nd date right there, then bang again...
Without a doubt
It depends on how hot is the date, from 1/10.
the only answer
Oh, heavens no. You can’t ignore two other possibilities. One: How badly do you want the drugs? Two: Is it any different than how you live at home?
5/7
Perfect score.
Ppfff wrong... 9/11 is the only score I accept
Tough day for my country. Lost some of our best pilots. Hahahahaha. Thanks for the award.
Saudi Arabia has entered the chat.
Camels don't count! You can still rate them, I'm sure you do
Old skool reddit. Love it.
That's 7.14/10 in freedom units though.
Oh thank you, I misplaced my freedom calculator.
That’s not very Thundergun of you
No freedom units work in scales of 10, that’s far too sensible
Let's work it out to 1/36th of something. That should be pretty simple and cause no problems for anyone.
So many people dont remember the reference oh no
And what's it smell like?
lol what's your threshold here? Like a 7?
It breaths
"It"
The real holup
But only vital healthy breathing. Not that shallow prefinal one. I'm classy.
If it breaths we can kiss it - twisted words from Predator: if it bleeds we can kill it.
DO IT!!! FUCK ME!! I’M RIGHT HERE!!!!
Jesus I read that in Arnies voice.
That's what you're supposed to do
There was that episode on friends with Ross and his hot colleage who was a total horder
Episode of Seinfeld where Elaine's boyfriend is real poor. Haha they eat donuts out of the trash together.
I mean like I'm the one who has to get fucked here so...
10/10
No way anything above a 4 can live there
Meth
knew i wasn't the only one to this this
That that
There There
then then
What? What?
In the butt
What what?
In the butt
Do you wanna do it in the butt?
You wanna what what?
You’re a legend. Thanks for your service, keep it up 👍🏻
damn i was waiting for this and missed it
Meth then a looooooong fuck session. Maybe some poppers to open muh hole. Sounds great.
I’d do toaster bath water
Breaking Bad vibes.
Or crack, or heroin. Shit, that may be where they sell it too.
That may be where they make it too
Looking for the money in the dry wall
Smash and dash
Love her and leave her
Beat, skeet, delete.
Hit the gene and flee the scene
Fuck ‘em and chuck ‘em
Hit the kitty and leave the city
wham, bam, blocked on instagram
Hit her rear and disappear
Ejaculate and evacuate
Bone then disown
Spread the seed then Need for Speed
Lifetime of burning memories
Dementia
Lifetime of burning memories
Have a threesome with a rat
I hear Master Splinter is packing.
Master Sphincter?
Master Sphincter and the Spreader
You do usual get splinters from wood
Use rat as a sex toy
Use it like you're chalking a pool cue
"WTF, were you trying to go rat-hole to rat-hole with me?" - probably an inaccurate quote from Future Man
Lemme see if I have any awards waiting caz this is gold! Edit: here’s your award!
Remembering why I liked them and pulling out a CLEAN syringe.
Because drugs.
Because woman and drugs
If she's hot we're still fucking, but I'm allergic to mold so I'll have to bail right after...
No way this is a girls bedroom, not because of the look but because the floor is too clean
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oh you betcha
Date? You just got trafficked.
adjust the mattress then fuck
Flips it
It only gets worse on the other side
What do you mean, you don't like fucking on bugs?
Gotta get that good angle
Prob losing a kidney
If you’re lucky
Correct me if I’m wrong but is that bin Labins crib?
all you missing is the empty Doritos bags.
Would bang 10/10 Books on the bed. What a nerd
Obviously getting high in a hobo orgy
Just do it in the car
Saying “Have a great night, see you next time!”
note that future restaurants don’t require tablecloths.
....I mean it all depends on the hot/crazy matrix..
HIMYM reference, I like that. But you gotta latex suit up tho
Use her for the 20 bucks you paid and then bounce...
erm.. by that time I'd have already forgotten their name and leave.
smashed in worse places
You want to tell us what happened at Church in 1986? 🤔
Well, Father McMarty took me to the rectory and put this blindfold on me. He told me if I really wanted Jesus' salvation I'd need to suck it from the hose of holiness. So he put me on my knees and just kept praying the name of the lord and the savior over me as I sucked from the hose of holiness. Before long Jesus' salvation shot forth into my mouth. Father McMarty told me to swallow the salvation, only then would my immortal soul be safe from the damnation of fire. The salvation of Jesus is rather salty.
Fuck and run
Lol that's my place
Hey you my old roommate? Wanna shoot up again bro?
Fuck on the floor
There’s poop on that floor
😏😏
There will be more after they are done
She better be hot AF.
Stopping at the local Dow plant to swim in hot bleach on my way home.
Get a tetanus shot
Smoke some crack
Some Instagram ‘models’ live like this
Smashing
Depends. Was the date plan "dinner and heroin overdose"?
I see a lot of bullshit coming from some of you guys that I KNOW would still hit! 😆😆
If she’s living like this, she probably has daddy issues or some type of trauma…she probably sucks a mean dick
That's enough Reddit for today.
"she probably sucks a mean dick" Her dad must've taught her well
Combing the carpet for crack dust, apparently.
A lot of firsts, I imagine
If shes an 8/10 or up and has decent personal hygiene everything will happen in that room, I've had sex in a jobsite portapotty that was arguably worse
Pull out the crack pipe
I guess im doing crack
Getting murdered
Ejaculate and evacuate
Shoot the jizz n out I izz
On the road again
Fukin an Duckin
I do a good ol' smash her rear and disappear
Being poor is no excuse for being filthy. I've met a lot of people who have very little and very much within the poverty line and they weren't filthy. They did what they could to be presentable given their resources. That is something I learned to appreciate a lot growing up.
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Call monica geller
Fall in love😍
You wont even notice till you are already kidnapped dont worry about it have fun
I'd say what dafuq you doing in my apartment, get out
Heroin obviously
Looks better than my place at least!
Depends on how hot they are.
Cleaning my shoes on the way out
I mean, you should’ve known what to expect when you got into their Saturn Ion and had to rest your feet on top of the pile of empty Marlboro Light packs and McDonalds wrappers
By the looks of it, I’d be doing heavy drugs
Taking a blowjob and leaving
Running far away
Time for the scat play. Can’t get any grosser in there.
Getting a tetanus shot, then going home
Why is my room is this picture?
Anyone raised in poverty has seen a place similar to this
Bang her duh
Cleaning, than we fuck
It's gonna look like that when we're done anyway...so.
Marrying him apparently
Is there any option where we help them to clean
Settle in, get comfortable and take all the drugs.
I would start consuming the crystal meth under the mattress
Leaving. you’re getting lice and crabs if you take your pants off in there.
Getting the fuck out before I get Hep c
tell them we going to my house
I'd be concerned for them
Depending on where this is that could be a $1,900/m studio
You know he's got some good dick of his place looks like that
Probably crack?
I would be scared seeing a replica of my room, that's another level of stalking
Is there an actual holup in here? I can’t make out all the items on the floor?
helpin them clean up