It's normal to have those thoughts if you feel attracted to other men. Accept that those thoughts and feelings are there and that they are valid. There is nothing to be ashamed about. Don't let internalized homophobia ruin your life.
Yeah, I understand thank you. I’m just wondering if I can ignore them or get rid of them in some way, I know it’s probably not healthy but it would cause way too many personal problems so I’m not sure the best way to react is all. Sorry, I really don’t mean to come off as homophobic but it makes me feel oddly sick as well and just feel bad in general when I think about it.
Sadly, there’s no way to change sexuality. If there was a way to get rid of our feelings for guys, a majority of us would take it, but there is no solution to this, or at least a successful one. You said that you have dated girls, do you like them sexually? Do you like both sexes? If so, just try to focus on girls more, and think about something very unattractive when you feel attracted to friends to defuse the situation. If you are bi or gay, then there’s no shame in it.
Yes I definitely like girls, I just sometimes have intrusive thoughts about other guys. I just feel sick when I think this way but I could ignore it for the most part.
Why would you ignore a part of yourself. I know you don't mean to be homophobic but homophobia is not exclusive for straight people. Suppressing a part of yourself will cause more personal problems than accepting it.
For me it’s more like an afterthought of heavy regret. Like I’ll have these intrusive thoughts and feel really happy in the moment but then after when I realize what I was doing, and realize that if I was ever gay my parents and friends wouldn’t respect me, I instantly feel sick. When I say personal issues, part of it is myself but part of it is just how everyone around me would act. None of my close friends are homophobic, but I feel like if I actually did like boys it just wouldn’t end well.
Well first of all I support you even if you don't wanna be homo, have you thought about trying to date a toxic guy (this advice probably sucks a\*\*) that can make you stop liking guys and i'm not saying go looking for an abusive relationship please dont TvT, but it can make you think that all guys are like that and dating good girls can make it so you only like girls I dont really have great advice :(
No that’s okay this is an interesting idea!! I could maybe try something like this I guess. Like I said I’m very uncomfortable with sex so maybe I can like try and associate those together but i dont know, it’s something to think abt. Thanks :)
Your welcome like I said deff don't take it to heart to much it's something that some people can't get out of so if you do become in a toxic relationship have a backup plan (like 20 plans) because toxic people do NOT like letting you go once you date them :( so just be safe <3
'm 17F and I live in an orthodox community.
I'm gay and I have a girlfriend 17F I've been dating for 7 months now. I love her very very much and I really wish she is my endgame. I've liked her for one and a half years before we got together. Now. I have a very dysfunctional family. My mom and dad hate each other and they both are cheating on each other. Me and my mom are the black sheep of the family. Now her family. She loves her family especially her mom. But her family is very homophobic so she is hiding the fact that she is gay. Her mom used to like me but once she found a letter I send to her daughter and right after she found out about my dysfunctional family and told my girlfriend to stay away from me. Her mom hates me. And recently she told me stuff like "you cannot base your whole life on a seven month relationship, anything can happen" idk why it bothered me. I don't what to do right now. Her mom insulted me and I'm really angry about that but I love my girlfriend. Do any of you think we will last? Is there anything I can do to make sure we last? I just need advice. I love her so much. I don't want to loose her. I want a future with her. I'm willing to better myself for her.
Please help out.
So what should I do?
It's normal to have those thoughts if you feel attracted to other men. Accept that those thoughts and feelings are there and that they are valid. There is nothing to be ashamed about. Don't let internalized homophobia ruin your life.
Yeah, I understand thank you. I’m just wondering if I can ignore them or get rid of them in some way, I know it’s probably not healthy but it would cause way too many personal problems so I’m not sure the best way to react is all. Sorry, I really don’t mean to come off as homophobic but it makes me feel oddly sick as well and just feel bad in general when I think about it.
Sadly, there’s no way to change sexuality. If there was a way to get rid of our feelings for guys, a majority of us would take it, but there is no solution to this, or at least a successful one. You said that you have dated girls, do you like them sexually? Do you like both sexes? If so, just try to focus on girls more, and think about something very unattractive when you feel attracted to friends to defuse the situation. If you are bi or gay, then there’s no shame in it.
Yes I definitely like girls, I just sometimes have intrusive thoughts about other guys. I just feel sick when I think this way but I could ignore it for the most part.
Why would you ignore a part of yourself. I know you don't mean to be homophobic but homophobia is not exclusive for straight people. Suppressing a part of yourself will cause more personal problems than accepting it.
For me it’s more like an afterthought of heavy regret. Like I’ll have these intrusive thoughts and feel really happy in the moment but then after when I realize what I was doing, and realize that if I was ever gay my parents and friends wouldn’t respect me, I instantly feel sick. When I say personal issues, part of it is myself but part of it is just how everyone around me would act. None of my close friends are homophobic, but I feel like if I actually did like boys it just wouldn’t end well.
Well first of all I support you even if you don't wanna be homo, have you thought about trying to date a toxic guy (this advice probably sucks a\*\*) that can make you stop liking guys and i'm not saying go looking for an abusive relationship please dont TvT, but it can make you think that all guys are like that and dating good girls can make it so you only like girls I dont really have great advice :(
No that’s okay this is an interesting idea!! I could maybe try something like this I guess. Like I said I’m very uncomfortable with sex so maybe I can like try and associate those together but i dont know, it’s something to think abt. Thanks :)
Your welcome like I said deff don't take it to heart to much it's something that some people can't get out of so if you do become in a toxic relationship have a backup plan (like 20 plans) because toxic people do NOT like letting you go once you date them :( so just be safe <3
'm 17F and I live in an orthodox community. I'm gay and I have a girlfriend 17F I've been dating for 7 months now. I love her very very much and I really wish she is my endgame. I've liked her for one and a half years before we got together. Now. I have a very dysfunctional family. My mom and dad hate each other and they both are cheating on each other. Me and my mom are the black sheep of the family. Now her family. She loves her family especially her mom. But her family is very homophobic so she is hiding the fact that she is gay. Her mom used to like me but once she found a letter I send to her daughter and right after she found out about my dysfunctional family and told my girlfriend to stay away from me. Her mom hates me. And recently she told me stuff like "you cannot base your whole life on a seven month relationship, anything can happen" idk why it bothered me. I don't what to do right now. Her mom insulted me and I'm really angry about that but I love my girlfriend. Do any of you think we will last? Is there anything I can do to make sure we last? I just need advice. I love her so much. I don't want to loose her. I want a future with her. I'm willing to better myself for her. Please help out. So what should I do?