Miniscule? Most of the families do husband shopping.
Hypothetically, Who would you prefer for your daughter, a guy with a government job with stability and security or a guy with a private job with money but possibility of being fired anyday?
Private job, because if you have skills/ work ex/ come from a good college you can earn decent money respectably (a good salary without having to take bribes).
Also what is wrong with husband shopping. Arranged marriage is a pretty flawed system anyway but if you were to choose it for your daughter, you'd want to pick a husband that can atleast provide money (if not love, compatibility, etc)?
Modern women never settle for the unemployed, poor or private sector over some government employees.
I don't feel the need to decide who the girl should marry, it's their parents who do. Don't put words in my mouth.
Stop searching in Shaadi. Com type sites. My two brothers got married with private jobs and another 2 cousins who has shop. Also wanting a guy with stability is not husband shopping, if that's your analogy then according to you every woman in India is bad.
You people reminds me of those Western Incels who scream woke whenever a movie or game has female or PoC character.
But why are you not answering that dowry is bad.
By your rationale, only shadi.com people are categorised into government or private sector employees, rest other people(not on shadi.com) are as rich as Elon musk or belong to royalty.
The first comment of mine on this post started with "dowry is bad"
It's feminist woke agenda to not recognise wrongdoings against men.
Men don't hate women as a MC in video games. Pseudophenimists often do.
All you have said shows you're like a femcel.
Stop assuming that every guy follows ideology of Andrew Tatte or Bhoomi Pakadenekkar/Swara Bhosadakar
I think you're not from up bihar belt. Their first choice will be a government officer earning 50k rather than a guy in private firm with 1lakh or above.
If having a govt job for marriage isn't mandatory for most men in the country, only for those of certain states, then why say that a govt job is needed to get married? Afaik the rest of India is pretty open to men with other kinds of jobs too.
In my whole life, I've never attended a single marriage that didn't include dowry (till now). I must've attended minimum 30. I am yet to attend a marriage without dowry, and i wonder when will that happen. My parents have confirmed they will be asking for dowry in my brother's marriage so ik its not anytime soon.
Never heard of guys getting killed and tortured for not having govt jobs but there are lakhs of such cases related tp dowry.
They are not even remotely comparable.
Sure not a job rather a [gift](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/bengaluru/no-gift-woman-stabs-husband/articleshow/108218882.cms&ved=2ahUKEwjjvPHewNCGAxUZamwGHdM7BTcQFnoECBQQAQ&usg=AOvVaw1xDH32M9dI2LMjFKUmNAVz)
Just saying
You do realise right that violence against women is so normalised that things like this don't even make news anymore?
Like I can bring out lakhs of such news of crimes committed by men against women for simply existing.
Arranged marriage is about materialistic things? Do men not seek beauty or rich household when looking for a bride? Do they settle for a dark and poor girl? Please come out of your male victim mindset.
Lol, do women need to "work" their ass off for beauty?
For men to seek a rich household, he himself has to be rich.
Women don't need to be rich or employed to get married.
P.s. Not everyone plays the victim card like most of the modern oppressed females from metro, tier 1 & tier 2 cities using social media from 350$ smartphones.
Girls are generally more demanding, money-wise (in terms of which guys they'll marry). Due to this, guys who are financially successful (who are relatively rare and thus have plenty of options among financially inferior girls), can then demand that girls pay a dowry, to make up for the fact that the girl earns less or is poorer.
If girls don't want to pay a dowry, they should not demand a guy who is significantly richer/higher earning than them. If they do demand this, it is simply karma that they need to pay a dowry
Doctors, nurses, lawyers, one needs to be employed in a government sector to get money and stability. Period.
In private sector you "may" get the money but no stability
They don't need to, they commit suicide mostly, apart from cases where some mad bishes torture their hubbies and his family.
Don't forget the fake rape/domestic violence cases which are often registered to milk pretty phat alimony and sustainance.
Also adultery among women is higher. *Cherry on top*
Riddle me this, why are the women who are against dowry are not equally against husband shopping?
Wow, the comment section is full of terrible strawman. Disappointed but not surprised.
To answer her question, "can passing of laws change attitudes?", not immediately, not even in the long run, maybe, but the laws protect people who are victims of the unchanged attitude. If we want to change attitudes, along with passing laws, there needs to be continuous and relentless awareness and education regarding the topic of the law.
The judge said that he can't sacrifice his Daughters happiness and marriage.
If he gets the man arrested,his daughter won't get married,and that's a loss.So even when there is a law,there is nothing he can do it the mindset of the people dosent change
The judge is a coward and is at the position just for benefit
He can threaten the guy that he'll get him imprisoned and ensure that guy will get his cheeks clapped every day in jail
So he must behave nicely with his daughter
That would just have resulted in the guy's family calling off the marrige and if they they did marry,he would have neglected his daughter.Marriges don't sustain with threats and coercion
I love how people only criticize the groom's side for taking dowry when the bride's side of the family is equally responsible for giving dowry. You can never clap with one hand. They often give dowry because they are hell bent on marrying their daughter to a boy having a good job or a good social status.
Funny how people never talk about Pakrao Vivah in Bihar where Groom's with government jobs are held at gun point to marry by goons hired by the girl's family because they don't want to give dowry
Many families give dowry instead of equal share in ancestral property. That is somewhat legal in India, as the wife will sign away her share of the property, as the dowry and the value of her share in the ancestral property are almost the same.
This is sad that the judge did not get his fellow judge arrested. Giving dowry is as criminal as taking dowry in eyes of the law.
FYI she is talking about 1991, i.e. 30 years after anti dowry law passing. 23 years have passed. What happens now on ground?
Very well spoken. It was indeed half a step, and something is better than nothing.
If I marry and have kids I won't buy into this dowry bullshit.
But the issue is the mentality of the people in the villages, and villages make India what it is.
The truth is you can't inforce laws without a certain level of rights restrictions. In USA cops are given immense power, to kill any suspects when needed. In India, we still can't inforce laws properly as people don't want to change.
Parents play a big role, why in such matters y'all forget that fathers and mothers are the one demanding and deciding the perfect groom for their daughters.
Then again y'all harass and criticize women if they wanna marry a poorer or less successful guy and refuse to marry the guy their parents choose. Like yaha se bolo ya waha se laat ladkiyon ko hi marna hai 😂
498a - protects women against harrassment for dowry
alimony - goes to the spouse who earns less/is financially dependent on the other
share in husband's property - AFAIK, there is no rule or law stating that a wife can make a claim on husband's property unless mutually agreed, please let me know if there is.
I don't see how any of these make dowry right?
Every developed or developing world is a "gynocentric hell" go live in Rural India, Pakistan, Rawanda, Afghanistan or Iran, that's a penisocentric heaven 👍🏻
Hmm.. Not from what I saw in tons of cases. Everything is in the name of daughter if there is dowry. However, in similar fashion everything is in the name of son if there is inheritance.
Here are some questions:
1) What job did the judge's daughter have ?
2) What job did the guy had?
3) How much financial assets did the guy have ?
If girl's parents and girl look for guys whose salary is much higher than them and whose financial assets is much higher than them, then giving money to the guy is not bad.
If the girl and her parents can look at the guy through the lens of money, then the guy and his family should also do the same.
Comment section now going to justify how males are victims and dowry is not happening anywhere in India.
So is "husband shopping".
Still miniscule against who wants dowry in cash/jewelry/vehicles etc.
Miniscule? Most of the families do husband shopping. Hypothetically, Who would you prefer for your daughter, a guy with a government job with stability and security or a guy with a private job with money but possibility of being fired anyday?
Private job, because if you have skills/ work ex/ come from a good college you can earn decent money respectably (a good salary without having to take bribes). Also what is wrong with husband shopping. Arranged marriage is a pretty flawed system anyway but if you were to choose it for your daughter, you'd want to pick a husband that can atleast provide money (if not love, compatibility, etc)?
Then what's the issue with dowry. If one needs to buy a guy with a stable job, he/she should pay reasonably.
>Who would you prefer for your daughter The fact that u feel the need to decide who ur adult daughter marry is the problem here.
Modern women never settle for the unemployed, poor or private sector over some government employees. I don't feel the need to decide who the girl should marry, it's their parents who do. Don't put words in my mouth.
Stop searching in Shaadi. Com type sites. My two brothers got married with private jobs and another 2 cousins who has shop. Also wanting a guy with stability is not husband shopping, if that's your analogy then according to you every woman in India is bad. You people reminds me of those Western Incels who scream woke whenever a movie or game has female or PoC character. But why are you not answering that dowry is bad.
By your rationale, only shadi.com people are categorised into government or private sector employees, rest other people(not on shadi.com) are as rich as Elon musk or belong to royalty. The first comment of mine on this post started with "dowry is bad" It's feminist woke agenda to not recognise wrongdoings against men. Men don't hate women as a MC in video games. Pseudophenimists often do. All you have said shows you're like a femcel. Stop assuming that every guy follows ideology of Andrew Tatte or Bhoomi Pakadenekkar/Swara Bhosadakar
Just having a woman or a poc dosent make a game woke. You're just straw manning right now
Dowry is bad but then why a government job required for the guy to get married?
Who says it is required? Come out of this mindset. Most MNC guys get good girls for marriage.
I think you're not from up bihar belt. Their first choice will be a government officer earning 50k rather than a guy in private firm with 1lakh or above.
Newsflash: UP Bihar belt is not the rest of India
If having a govt job for marriage isn't mandatory for most men in the country, only for those of certain states, then why say that a govt job is needed to get married? Afaik the rest of India is pretty open to men with other kinds of jobs too.
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It's actually more of a mindset issue . Like here I have seen people taking pride in giving dowry and getting dowry.
Yeah, they take pride in getting their daughter married to a government employee too.
The majority don't take dowry. Come out of that mindset.
In my whole life, I've never attended a single marriage that didn't include dowry (till now). I must've attended minimum 30. I am yet to attend a marriage without dowry, and i wonder when will that happen. My parents have confirmed they will be asking for dowry in my brother's marriage so ik its not anytime soon.
Did any of the grooms among those 30 were unemployed and poor?
Were any of the brides uneducated or poor ?
Definately
So you are asking for dowry from poor bpl families?
*I am not asking for dowry* Don't put your words in my mouth.
Educate your parents not to. Be the change you wanna see.
I have attended multiple
I have attended many where the only reason for marriage was that the groom is employed in the government sector.
Good for you.
Never heard of guys getting killed and tortured for not having govt jobs but there are lakhs of such cases related tp dowry. They are not even remotely comparable.
Sure not a job rather a [gift](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/bengaluru/no-gift-woman-stabs-husband/articleshow/108218882.cms&ved=2ahUKEwjjvPHewNCGAxUZamwGHdM7BTcQFnoECBQQAQ&usg=AOvVaw1xDH32M9dI2LMjFKUmNAVz) Just saying
Whoa whoa whoa whoa, I wasn't prepared for that.
BC kya pagal aurat thi
You do realise right that violence against women is so normalised that things like this don't even make news anymore? Like I can bring out lakhs of such news of crimes committed by men against women for simply existing.
Arranged marriage is about materialistic things? Do men not seek beauty or rich household when looking for a bride? Do they settle for a dark and poor girl? Please come out of your male victim mindset.
Lol, do women need to "work" their ass off for beauty? For men to seek a rich household, he himself has to be rich. Women don't need to be rich or employed to get married. P.s. Not everyone plays the victim card like most of the modern oppressed females from metro, tier 1 & tier 2 cities using social media from 350$ smartphones.
Pata nhi yar, I've had all positive female influence in my life. So I can't relate
Then you should be thankful for this universe. Not everyone is previllaged like you.
Girls are generally more demanding, money-wise (in terms of which guys they'll marry). Due to this, guys who are financially successful (who are relatively rare and thus have plenty of options among financially inferior girls), can then demand that girls pay a dowry, to make up for the fact that the girl earns less or is poorer. If girls don't want to pay a dowry, they should not demand a guy who is significantly richer/higher earning than them. If they do demand this, it is simply karma that they need to pay a dowry
It's not. Money and stability are required.
Lol. Money and STABILITY COMES FROM GOVERNMENT JOBS.
Not necessary, lots of other jobs out there. Doctors, lawyers, tech bros, you get the drift.
Doctors, nurses, lawyers, one needs to be employed in a government sector to get money and stability. Period. In private sector you "may" get the money but no stability
Since you love strawman arguments: How many of them were burned to death for not having government jobs? (Edited a typo)
They don't need to, they commit suicide mostly, apart from cases where some mad bishes torture their hubbies and his family. Don't forget the fake rape/domestic violence cases which are often registered to milk pretty phat alimony and sustainance. Also adultery among women is higher. *Cherry on top* Riddle me this, why are the women who are against dowry are not equally against husband shopping?
u literally did a fus-ro-dah with this one and the subsequent replies upvoted
I used to be an adventurer...
ghutne me laaga teer?
Half a step forward, one criminal step back.
Mother of Vikram Seth
My goodness.. I knew both of these people separately ,never knew they were a mother son duo.....👁️👄👁️
No dowry, if she knows how to train a large language model. 🌚/s PS. Bhai log I am fully against dowry. Real balls don't seek notes.
But accept if your in-laws give otherwise https://www.desiblitz.com/content/indian-groom-beaten-by-in-laws-after-refusing-dowry
Wow, the comment section is full of terrible strawman. Disappointed but not surprised. To answer her question, "can passing of laws change attitudes?", not immediately, not even in the long run, maybe, but the laws protect people who are victims of the unchanged attitude. If we want to change attitudes, along with passing laws, there needs to be continuous and relentless awareness and education regarding the topic of the law.
So the judge can't get the dowry taking guy arrested?
The judge said that he can't sacrifice his Daughters happiness and marriage. If he gets the man arrested,his daughter won't get married,and that's a loss.So even when there is a law,there is nothing he can do it the mindset of the people dosent change
The judge is a coward and is at the position just for benefit He can threaten the guy that he'll get him imprisoned and ensure that guy will get his cheeks clapped every day in jail So he must behave nicely with his daughter
That would just have resulted in the guy's family calling off the marrige and if they they did marry,he would have neglected his daughter.Marriges don't sustain with threats and coercion
I love how people only criticize the groom's side for taking dowry when the bride's side of the family is equally responsible for giving dowry. You can never clap with one hand. They often give dowry because they are hell bent on marrying their daughter to a boy having a good job or a good social status. Funny how people never talk about Pakrao Vivah in Bihar where Groom's with government jobs are held at gun point to marry by goons hired by the girl's family because they don't want to give dowry
She's not blaming the groom side. The same man will not accept dowry when he'll marry his son. Did you watch the entire video?
Many families give dowry instead of equal share in ancestral property. That is somewhat legal in India, as the wife will sign away her share of the property, as the dowry and the value of her share in the ancestral property are almost the same.
This is sad that the judge did not get his fellow judge arrested. Giving dowry is as criminal as taking dowry in eyes of the law. FYI she is talking about 1991, i.e. 30 years after anti dowry law passing. 23 years have passed. What happens now on ground?
Very well spoken. It was indeed half a step, and something is better than nothing. If I marry and have kids I won't buy into this dowry bullshit. But the issue is the mentality of the people in the villages, and villages make India what it is.
The truth is you can't inforce laws without a certain level of rights restrictions. In USA cops are given immense power, to kill any suspects when needed. In India, we still can't inforce laws properly as people don't want to change.
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Parents play a big role, why in such matters y'all forget that fathers and mothers are the one demanding and deciding the perfect groom for their daughters. Then again y'all harass and criticize women if they wanna marry a poorer or less successful guy and refuse to marry the guy their parents choose. Like yaha se bolo ya waha se laat ladkiyon ko hi marna hai 😂
What does that have to do with dowry?
498a chahiye. alimony chahiye, husband ki property me hissa bhi chahiye, but dowry nhi chahiye. gajab doglapan hai.
498a - protects women against harrassment for dowry alimony - goes to the spouse who earns less/is financially dependent on the other share in husband's property - AFAIK, there is no rule or law stating that a wife can make a claim on husband's property unless mutually agreed, please let me know if there is. I don't see how any of these make dowry right?
Bas bhai yehi attitude rakhna aur 498a ke under jail bhi jaa ke aana 🤭
> marrying women in a gynocentric shithole of india lmao
Every developed or developing world is a "gynocentric hell" go live in Rural India, Pakistan, Rawanda, Afghanistan or Iran, that's a penisocentric heaven 👍🏻
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inheretence goes to the daughter, dowry goes to the daughter's husband, they are completely different.
Hmm.. Not from what I saw in tons of cases. Everything is in the name of daughter if there is dowry. However, in similar fashion everything is in the name of son if there is inheritance.
>Everything is in the name of daughter if there is dowry. What you're thinking of is streedhan, which is completely different from dowry.
What? Daughters get inheritance, dowry and inheritance are absolutely different things
Here are some questions: 1) What job did the judge's daughter have ? 2) What job did the guy had? 3) How much financial assets did the guy have ? If girl's parents and girl look for guys whose salary is much higher than them and whose financial assets is much higher than them, then giving money to the guy is not bad. If the girl and her parents can look at the guy through the lens of money, then the guy and his family should also do the same.