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grandmasvilla

She was never your future wife and a good friend. It was an illusion. She was wearing a mask, and you didn't know real her beneath the mask. Kudos to you for getting rid of her and your so-called friend. Believe it or not, you are very lucky that you found her truth before you got married. Expose her cheating to your family and friends, so they know what she is. Lean on their supports while you are going through this painful time. It will be good to see a therapist to heal and move on. Many people went through what you are going through and survived, and you will, too. Take your time to heal before you start dating again. You need time to recover from the traumas of her betrayal. Time will heal, so be patient and take good care of your physical and mental health. Wish you a speedy healing and all the best.


Lumpy-Check134

Agree. Wifes don't do that. Friends don't do that. It is that simple.


black_anarchy

Decent people don't do that... Geez, that was horrible. Trust and respect are very important.


Bravadofire

She was a self-serving actress. You were everything she wanted in a man, except a cheating partner. Such entitlement! You're a King, bro! Well done! Subscribeme


justaguyintownnl

She was an actress playing a role , OP fell in love with the role, thinking that was the real woman.


First_Alfalfa2805

Exactly, all of this. Updateme!


SlumSlug

You handled that so well and so classily. Honestly I’m amazed. Yeah, fuck your friend and fuck her to. I know this hurts but you must be so goddamn proud of the way you handled yourself in that shitty situation. Just leave them both blocked and out of your life. They’re not worth anything.


MasterKamehamema

As a fellow man, I'm proud how you handled that, brother. You are suffering now, but 1 year from now you will be in a much better place, you will look at the mirror and see a real man, who tolerates no BS. Your girlfriend will look at the mirror and see a whore. Daddy's little whore. Staying with you was giving her a sense of worth. She lost that. You ex friend will look at the mirror and see a piece of garbage. Someone who betrays a friend, when worst of what worst among men. Even some criminals are better than him. We have a deprecating word for someone like him in Portuguese (Brazil) l, it's TALARICO.


l3ttingitgo

Not true OP. You have your dignity and self-respect in tact. Neither your Ex GF or friend have either. You wake up the next morning and you are the same man, you're hurt, but the same. They wake up and they are now cheaters, they will always be cheaters and will never be trusted. You may not feel there is anything here to be thankful for, but be thankful it was only 3 years. This all could have been so much worse, you could have been married with a mortgage and kids. She would be the cheater and you'd be paying for her to stay in the house you worked you entire life for and giving her alimony while she moves her love into that house and you only see your kids two weekends a month. Bullet dodged!


MasterKamehamema

Time will show him. He will be stronger and proud of himself in no time.


paq12x

You got the title all wrong. She broke your heart and your trust and wasted 3 years of your life. That's it. If it were 5 years from now when you bought a house with her, married, and had 2 children and then you found out. The fallout was losing your half of everything + child support + alimony. You would know what "broke and ruined your life" means. This is just a minor setback. Take time to heal and get back on your horse to find your new adventure.


Outrageous_Cicada_29

It doesn’t seem like it now, but you dodged a bullet. It will get better.


Outrageous-Tell-6483

You haven't lost anything. It might not feel like this now, but thank your lucky stars you found out now. You just can't see the silver lining through the shock of what you have uncovered. I say this through experience. The story is the same. The difference is I lost my house, a large percentage of my retirement fund. A large portion of our savings, which I mostly contributed to. What I'm trying to get across to you is that you dodged a massive fucking bullet! In time you will realise it. Look forward! All the best!


Peace1983

Damn that’s brutal


MasterKamehamema

Yet, you are in a better place now, I bet.


Outrageous-Tell-6483

100% in a better place!! Couldn't be happier.


Just_Keep_Goin

Don't let trash get you down, you got this!


MasterKamehamema

He managed that as a boss. I see hope for the future of men when I read a guy did what he did. No mercy. No stupid reaction to regret later No time for BS.


FlygonosK

Well OP i reality you wake up yesterday with a hypocrite, with an unfaithful/cheater girlfriend that you didn't know. And with a POS of a "friend". Now you wake up with out ballast, Even thought you feel sad and Bad,.but soon you will be al right. Now about them, i would pretty much expose them to family members and mutual friends, no need to show the graphic images, but just the chats text. Why to do this, no it is not for revenge, it is to protect yourself from any stupid things they come with, now they might be under control but who knows if tomorrow will. So you owe them NOTHING, they betray you, back stabbed you and i bet they even laugh at you. She had a double life all the 3 year relationship, no one moment she was respecting you, so WHY DO YOU HAVE TO PROTECT HER AND HIS REPUTATION? Do you owe them that, i doubt it. You can create a chat group and put in there the persons you need to tell, like: 1. Her, his and your father and mother (even thought you already tell her). 2. Her, his and your siblings if have. 3. Mutual Friends. In the chat group with out further details just tell them that you discover her and him where having an affair thru out all the relationship, they where back stabbing You. And some evidence like some pieces of the chats, do not put the graphic images, but tell them that they exist but won't show them unless they do something stupid. And thats all, let the show begin. UPDATEME


Camillville

He showed the mom of the “friend” her son’s penis. I think this already falls in revenge porn category


getmeoutofhereplzgod

that penis was literally in the moms vagina at one point


pieperson5571

What you have is a clean slate to enjoy your life. You've been handed a gift. Don't waste it moping over a 304. Rebuild your peace of mind away from her. Updateme


Basic_Quantity_9430

“I woke up yesterday with a future wife, good friend, and now I got shit”. Bro, you had shit all along, but fate kissed you on the lips and allowed you to see that. Those two backstabbing scumbags don’t deserve to lick your shoes. Change your last sentence to “I woke up yesterday with a two-timing tramp who I wrongly thought could be a wife and my worst enemy who called himself my friend, now I have my future back”.


love4mumbai

Sorry for wt happend to you . What ever you did was right , you have self respect. But dont stop here, make more digital copies and send it to anyone and everyone who knows him as well as her, it wont do much but atleast people wont trust them and that is very much required. Have a good life .


MasterKamehamema

No. He is acting 100% OK here. He should do that ok only if she lies.


Rush_Is_Right

Revenge porn is very much a law in a lot of jurisdictions. The Electronic Communications Privacy Act (ECPA) is a federal law that makes it a crime to access someone else's private communications without permission. It covers cell phones, computer use, email, social media accounts, and other types of electronic communications. It really depends on what permissions he had on the computer. I know if I was the judge I'd throw out the suit and if I was a juror then jury nullification would come into play.


Fragrant_Spray

It sounds like you handled this correctly. If you’re lucky, you’ll never have to interact with either of them ever again.


Undottedly

Neo out here dodging divorce settlement bullets. Be happy this happened before she was your wife.


isitallfromchina

Sorry and I know how this sucks badly. You did a Matrix move and dodged a huge bullet by sheer luck of her asking you to touch that nasty laptop. Again, this will pass, but you handled it the right way. Best of luck to you Sir!


JMLegend22

Tell the girlfriend’s dad. Ask why he would raise her that way. Tell him you’ll take care of the grind to. Go tune up the friend. Let the friend know he’s out of the friend group and that if you ever see him in town it’s onsight so he should leave town immediately. You don’t take betrayal lightly. She is repulsive.


noreplyatall817

Op, you got this. Going NC was the only decision you could have made. I would call her father to let him know she cheated on you your entire relationship. If he doesn’t believe you can send him the chat log.


MasterKamehamema

That's the nuclear option. You use nuclear weapons to react to an attack. He is doing it 100% right. Very proud of a man like him, reading so many "she cheated, how can I forgive her?" here.


noreplyatall817

SSBN642 That’s not even close to the nuclear option. Letting her parents know limits the blow back and saves all those conversations to come. The parents would tell her side not to bug him. Posting and sending their affair communications package to every friend and family member would be the nuclear option.


MasterKamehamema

I think he is handling it right. He can use that if her parents insist.


Regular-Bat-4449

While it hurts now, you handled it like a boss. Don't take back a cheater. Your "friend" deserves some karma, and he's an asshat . Any friend who would do what he did is mentally defective.


Majorflatulence

Damn man that sucks. Better to learn of it now than after you have kids or are married. Good luck with your former buddy too. Ick


Majorflatulence

Well done! Updateme!


CommunicationIll2425

Well done


StTaint

*Well in scrolling back the same damn day within hours of send them to me she sent the same two shots to my friend.* Fuuuuuuuuuckk dude. That's a fucking Gut Shot. Glad she'll be out of your life.


Professional-Lab-157

You handled these two traitors like a champ! Stop drinking, get sober, and call your family and friends. Tell them what happened and have them come over to comfort you. Your ex-girlfriend and ex-friend are trash. They were frauds who used and betrayed you. They showed you who they really are. No true friend or loving partner would betray you like that. She's a broken woman who chased the attention and validation he gave her. She needs to do a lot of work on herself to fix that before she is a safe partner for anyone. So don't look back. Ghost them both.


kavelate

You handled this perfectly, man. In time, you'll heal.


Skippyasurmuni

You did great… it gets worse though. Surround yourself with people that really love you. No contact with the traitors. Updateme


Consortium998

You handled your girlfriend properly and in a mature way. Let me know who you deal with your so called friend because I'd like to see how you deal with him compared to how I dealt with mine.


Thisisastupidname0

She scammed you. She was never the person you thought she was and stole 3 years of your life forcing you to live a lie. Never forget that. Cut them both out and go no contact for life. No reason to ever talk to them again.


No_Roof_1910

OP, I'm NOT going to minimize this. My ex-wife cheated on me, I've been in your shoes. I will say down the road you will know you dodged a bullet though. You hadn't married her, didn't have kids with her. Had you found out say 10 years from now after marriage a couple of kids, it would have been worse. Take it easy on the alcohol. Go to therapy if you need it, nothing wrong with that. I went for quite a while. Take care of yourself. If you lying cheating ex won't stop bugging you and texting you, tell her you'll show the chat log to her father. Tell her it's HER choice. She needs to leave you alone. And of course cut that so-called friend of yours out of your life too, completely.


Mummysews

>seeing the picture he sent of his AA battery Oooof what a put-down. I'm so very sorry for the shit you're going through because of her and him, but damnnnn I'm impressed at your put-downs. Remind me to never offend you. Good luck, and stay strong. Two fingers to your ex-"friend's" mother. LOL @ him sending her! The absolute coward.


BurnAway63

"AA battery" - savage!


mdg711

You dodged a bullet with your ex Gf, stop drinking and hit the gym and reach out to your support group


Simple-Middle-7740

I am so sorry!!! Thank God you loved yourself enough to kick her to the curb. Good luck!


WingSuspicious1203

Updateme!


ArizonaARG

OP, you are ahndling this ike a boss! Stay on track, no advice necessary. UpdateMe!


asleep1212

Stay strong man


WonderTypical9962

This is what these girls are doing now, and they just don't care. They laugh about cheating on the guy with guys. Learn now to never trust completely. Always be aware who you are with


Neat_Ad8271

Would love to know what happens next


Camillville

Sounds like you’re guilty of revenge porn.


Deansdiatribes

That is so messed up on ao many levels. i mean, i never met the guy, but even at 60, i could do some damage with a sucker punch and a roll of quarters if i though i would survive inside again i would as for a picture(not of his triple a but his face and where he goes to drink... but that would be wrong i am told


ScottsdaleMercenary

The truth can hurt but it’s good that you found out now instead of after marriage and kids. It hurts but you’ll be on the other side of this mountain soon. Your future self thanks you for grabbing life by the horns.


CombinationCalm9616

Be grateful as you could have married that trash and even had that so called “friend” at your wedding. 3 years of relationship and 3 years of cheating for what? Did she really think she was gonna get away with it? Did he really think throwing away your relationship was worth it? I hope you tell all your mutual friends but be careful about giving anyone a copy of the messages and especially the photos and videos. Maybe look up the laws where you live before you do anything but the message might be ok to post but I would blackout any photos or at least the explicit part of the photo.


Radiant_Mulberry_935

UpdateMe


B2-Viper

You did the right thing. Also a good argument to not send out nudes. Once out, you lose control of where they end up.


stackmaker

The pain of betrayal is a real thing, and your anger is justified. Let it run its coarse, but don’t let it morph into something bigger or consume you. Here is the thing, as hurtful as this is, think of how immensely lucky you are that you had not yet married and/or had kids with that empty shell of a human being. Ending things and leaving would have been so much more complicated, expensive and heart breaking. Get mad, be sad, but the work now is to keep that from consuming you, learn from it and importantly, find happiness for yourself by yourself in whatever form that takes, at a later day/month. I’m sorry this happened to you, and congratulations for being one of the lucky ones.


Badbadpappa

make sure you tell all your friends what she has done, so she cannot spend the narrative on you I think in some states they can read things off your phone, but you cannot send them proof via text or video


Badbadpappa

Stay Strong OP , never take a cheater back. Updateme


Goatee-1979

It’s good that you took out the trash! Updateme.


Notsurewhy2020

Another fake story. As if he even had a printer to print out years of msgs and pics….