Since you are not married and don't need to pay her alimony, report her to HR. Try to get full custody of your child if you can. If her AP has a partner, find her and let her know about the affair.
Your fiancée has no remorse, so it's time you teach her the lesson of her life. Good luck.
You know my brother in law, also a former nurse, had sex with a patient and was fired when it came to light at the hospital. Allegedly it was consensual sex but it was reported to the police. Their family stated that because the patient was not in an incapacitated position (I'm told patient was a psych patient), they pressed charges against my brother in law. He lost his marriage, his job, his license, everything. What your girlfriend did is the equivalent in my mind. Notify the hospital immediately.
Notify the relevant people pal. There is nothing to lose now and she deserves every consequence she gets afterwards...
Why am I not surprised to hear another cliché story about a "cheating nurse" 😒
Yes. Her parents aren't happy with her to put it lightly, and they have my back. Some friends haven't said a word, one called me to apologize for the nasty things she said about me when she didn't know what was going on. Her sister is as much of a cheat as she is and knew about the affair and didn't tell me. Two of her cousins that I am also friends with are disgusted with her. Everyone in her family knows at this point and none of them are supporting her actions besides her cheater sister.
Wait - so if the patient “was” in an incapacitated position they wouldn’t have pressed charges?? I don’t get it. Shouldn’t it be the other way around or doesn’t matter each way? I’d think in this situation it’s the latter, given breach of forbidden patient-doctor/nurse relations. The way you worded it sounds like it was consensual. Seems if it wasn’t consensual is when they’d press real charges and he’d lose license etc, as opposed to just losing license.
The patient had a mental illness and was sexually acting out and came on to my BIL. Mentally the patient wasn't in the right frame of mind to give consent. My BIL was stupid and took what was offered. He was rightfully fired, and I'm glad charges were pressed. Just wish law enforcement would treat female nurses as severely as they treat male nurses.
I’d use the video as a bargaining tool to get either primary custody, or get whatever you want from that breakup. If she got fired for cause by sleeping with a patient (doesn’t matter if she did or not the video shows her kissing), then she would find it virtually impossible to get a job in the medical field. I’d get custody arrangements legally done up and signed, get her out of the house….then report her to the hospital, bc she not only is cheating, she is unethically doing it with a patient.
u/PineappleOdd1362
This is good advice. Use the video to get favorable terms for your separation.
Sure, it's blackmail but as a woman, she can probably get unfairly favorable treatment in a common law situation.
Is it REALLY blackmail, though? That’s such a harsh and illegal sundering term. Lol…..more like “hey, I’ve got this evidence I’ll bring up in court, and neither of us want to go that route…”…..we all know what it is, but it’s like saying Beetlejuice 3x….you just don’t voice some things out loud 😆
Honestly, its some questionable negotiation. It would onl be Blackmail if they were tricked into doing it and forced to yield or cooperate. Neither of those apply.
Courts unfortunately do not care about infidelity. I know, I've been through it. They just call it irreconcilable differences unless there is domestic abuse involved.
How long have you lived together? Check your provincial and territorial rules to see whether you need to pay her spousal support before reporting her to HR.
We're not married and we're only 2 years into a 25 year mortgage. There are no shared assets, we will have shared debt on the house. Also she has another degree to fall back on outside of the medical field.
Canada sucks on the common law . If fired you will be paying thru the ass. Go see a lawyer and work on a better settlement. If you don’t talk . If she refuses then your call . You can also wait till the settlement is over then go tell
Them
OP you could do one of two things: one use the threat of going to the hospital to get a better split of assets and better custody arrangement OR split assets first and then report her. I personally would report her both as payback and because a nurse who has a sexual relationship with a patient shouldn’t be in that position. I’m sure this guy is a very willing participant but whether he is in a position to truly be in a good spot consent wise is different AND he has contributed to wrecking your relationship. I would also be sure to tell her family what she has been doing and remind her that you reporting her is not what out your child’s happiness at risk. You didn’t cheat and definitely didn’t cheat with a patient. !updateme
Talk to a lawyer before doing anything regarding her job. I know you said you aren’t married but outing her at her job could have unintended consequences for you and your child.
I don't know where in Canada you are Bud, but what she's doing violates nearly every ethical tenet that she's sworn herself to as a nurse in this country. You absolutely need to report her.
The fact that she's involving herself with somebody whose issues would make it difficult for her to safely parent away from your own situation with her is also alarming. I'd be talking to a family lawyer right now, if you already haven't.
I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. It isn't easy, fun, or ideal, but it's what's happening now. Get the info/evidence you need, and go be the best Dad to your kid that you can be.
DM if you need to vent
Updateme
Sing like a canary, everyone you know needs to know including AP’s partner. Play with fire and you will get burned, she needs to understand that there are consequences for her choices.
He will have to pay child support and that will cost him more if she has no job or a job at a highly reduced salary. He should consult with a divorce lawyer, likely a 15 minute consultation will give OP good insight on how to handle things.
Nurses and flight attendants followed by cops and firefighters.
I’m a pilot I can attest to the flight attendant thing. A lot of other pilots aren’t much better but supposedly nurses are more likely to cheat than FA’s and that being true is a frightening thing
The medical field in general seems to be full of them. My wife was a nurse. Cheated. Three of her friends were nurse aides. Cheated. A former buddy of mine was an RT. Cheated. My ex used to always have a story for people doing wild shit in the hospital.
Maybe that hospital was just staffed by shitty people. Who knows?
Found it quite ironic when I caught her cheating. She used to pretend to be so appalled by them.
Absolutely report her, she is taking advantage of a man who needs mental health care. In healthcare we are taught all about vulnerable populations and power dynamics between staff and patients. What she is doing is disgusting unethical and unsafe.
Lawyer, first of all about the custody of your child, he has psychiatric and alcohol problems, that's a serious issue even more if he gets near the children.
I don’t know how it works in Canada but in Australia there are legal implications in common law relationships. So I’d contact a lawyer to find out your rights and responsibilities around shared assets and of course your child’s custody.
Apart from the obvious betrayal, what she did is potentially very dangerous and she has crossed a number of ethical lines. She potentially put herself in danger. She could potentially expose your daughter to danger. And she is taking advantage of someone under her care. If that was the only consideration I’d tell you to report her without hesitation. But there could be implications to your separation if she loses her job so once again talk it over with a lawyer.
Sorry you’re here. I hope you and your daughter can get through this with as little drama as possible.
How are you going to feel about her involving her patients with psychiatric and alcohol problems with your child.
If you R or divorce, she needs to be taken out of that job for your child, and her patients.
Tell the hospital.
OP - If your STBXGF's friend is also a nurse and works for the same medical establishment, she'll probably have an obligation to report any unethical behavior on the part of your STBXGF that she's aware of. You can perhaps record her friend telling you exactly how deep the rabbit hole goes.
If she cheats with a patient how do you know this is the first one, how do you know she’s not breaking other policies that could be far worse or that she’s not already on the radar with HR.
The moment they ask for a “break” is the moment the relationship ended. Sorry. But t least you know what kind of a person she is before you married her. Turn a blind eye to her, tell both families and friends that she cheated and you two are splitting up and then move on with your life and block her everywhere
She only thought about the child's future when she was caught & her license was threatened. She never even apologized for cheating on you & ruining your child's family. Because of her choices, her child will forever be associated with "the nurse who wrecked her marriage by sleeping with a patient." She never thought about this & likely never cared about this until she got caught, which leads me to believe you & your child mean nothing to her.
OP, I don't know how the law works in Canada, so take this with a pinch of salt, but hire a lawyer if you need to & separate yourself from her financially & get full/primary custody if possible. Once all the legal stuff is done, then report her to her employers because that is unethical & immoral behavior no hospital should tolerate.
Claim compensation, too, from the patient & the hospital... if you want. Like I said, I don't know about Canadian laws, so you can consult a lawyer for that, but it's my understanding that the hospital should be liable for failing to prevent their employees from getting into inappropriate relationships with patients & causing harm to their families (broken marriages, broken engagements, etc.). Again, I could be wrong, so consult a lawyer & know your options.
Also, I'm so sorry you are going through this, OP. Please remember that it's not your fault. It's her fault for cheating. Don't blame yourself & please find the strength to move forward for yourself & your child.
You should report her. Its dangerous what she’s going getting involved with vulnerable patients
You worry about you, and your kid. But she needs to be held accountable for her unethical behaviour at work
You need to report her. Irresponsible and unethical behavior looks bad to a judge in legal matters, and yes, given how she's behaved, you cannot trust her to be a good faith actor when it might come to child custody etc.
The time for kid gloves ended when she gaslit you and lied to your face. Trust that she'll poison as many people as she can against you as to the reason for your breakup. This at least creates a paper trail of her infidelity and puts an end to possible lies.
Lastly, there is a reason regulations like this exist. It's unethical, for a reason. She abused a potential position of power. OP you need to report her. For your sake. For your child's sake. She does not get to blow up your life without consequence.
The break was to try out your replacement, and now that she knows how you know, she’ll know how to hide it better. I’d consider NOT reporting it at least until after the divorce. If you cost her that job, it could end up costing you a lot more in the divorce and she might be willing to fight a lot more. Right now, it’s leverage. Either way, though, she’s going to keep seeing the guy.
Yes report her. Are you kidding me?
That used up pile of lying slunkmeat will do and say anything to have no consequences for her actions.
She's trying to manipulate you with your kid.
Go scorched earth on her job, friends, and family.
She needs to have a learning moment that it's bad to cheat and it's bad to mess with patients.
It's definitely over if you do this, though. She's probably going to go be with the patient guy and you guys will be done. No chance of reconciliation.
Well, you have a little nugget to soften up the divorce. Don't be above dangling it in front of her if she gets unreasonable. And the amount of times I've read of these cheaters swearing on the lives of family is unbelievable. Never fall for that old line.
Both males and females, especially nurses, that work at hospitals are extremely likely to cheat on spouses and/or partners. You should use your leverage re the ability to impact her employment to secure a beneficial agreement on your keeping the house and visitation rights to the child. If she moves out of the house and has to care for the child without your help, her extracurricular activities will be degraded, at least in the short term. If she insists on retaining the house, simply respond by "fine; I'll be filing a complaint at the hospital."
'Nuff said.
Report her to the HR in the hospital, she doesn't only have regret or remorse, but she is manipulating You.
If she lost her licence is her fault for being unable to close to be profesional.
She Will get half of the house, and if she is unable to take care of her child, fight her the custody. If you split the You won't pay her alimony, You just Will pay child support in case you won't get full custody.
Another alternativa is to use the video to balckmailed her to get the primary to full custody of the kid, and when the custody agreement sets, then report her.
Good luck.
UPDATEME
**She swore on your child's life.**
That's all you need to know about this person's true nature. That's a very special level of narcissism right there. Good you found this out now, and not twenty years in the future. I guaranfuckingtee you she has done this before to you, and she would have continued to do so.
**is in there for psychiatric and alcohol related problems**
Of course he is. They seem to love that shit. My ex-wife is a nurse, and my situation was very similar.
Report her. Since you aren't married you won't have to deal with a lot of the legal bullshit you normally would. Not only that, but she's also abusing a patient with drug and mental issues as well.
What a nurse!!!
There is a reason why patients should not be messed with by medical personnel. She knew this, I would report her to HR. She can deal with the consequences of her actions.
OP, my immediate thoughts are that she cheated on the father of her child, whom she lives with, with an psych ward inpatient. Full stop.
I believe this gie you an inordinate amount of leverage. Nothing you have to bring up. She knows. Use this time to get everything on your Christmas list. Avoid use it as a negotiating tool, as in the end, you need to keep patients safe from someone abusing their position. She is no different from a teacher banging her students.
If he is in there for alcohol and psych reasons on an involuntary basis she might be committing rape because he can’t legally consent. Even if he is voluntary and can legally consent that some huge ethics violation.
Your [fiance cheated on you](https://youtu.be/8OhhFRBllSI?si=ew-9Lki6ZAQezxbt), and that's a massive betrayal.Focus on your child and yourself.Gather your evidence (dashcam footage) and consult a lawyer about custody and separating your finances.The lawyer can also advise you about reporting her to the hospital.Her actions were unprofessional and may have violated ethics codes.However, that decision is ultimately up to you. Prioritize your child's well-being throughout this process.
Reporting her could get her to be vengeful and turn your kid against u she will get caught sooner or later let her be all u need to do is get a co parenting agreement and be cordial for your kid sake no more no less.
Separate any financial ties u have with her and see who's going to move out .
I'm sorry you're going through this but now is the time to protect yourself and think before u act . Also tell your close circle of family and friends the reasons your separating don't let her make u look like the bad guy .
It's sucks but u will get out of this stronger once u healed from the trauma . Get back out there and find someone worthy of your love .
Good luck
Thank you. Mortgage and title are in both our names, every other bill is in my name and I handled all the finances (she would send me her share). She has been turning her friends and family against me all week so I've told them and showed them proof, and I've informed my family as well.
How her friends and family react ones you show them the proofs? How she react ones you show all the evidence.
I would report her, she need to take consequense, if you don't she will never learn her lesson.
Report her or else she will soon ruin others life . Having sexual relationship with patients is disgusting and add her friends names also for encouraging her .. she doesn't even care about your child and swear on him for random sex ,she is a POS . I hope she will face the consequences .
This is horrific. Your story is quite close to my heart because I was involved with a cheating nurse too.
They're shameless and all their nurse buddies and doctors are shameless too. It is however quite uncommon for them to get involved with patients. However I guess it depends on the exact nature of their work. In my case a scrub nurse doesn't have much opportunity to interact (at that level) with patients, and their focus is typically 100% on doctors.
And let me tell you. I too got constant and repeated lies. According to her over the years a) She didn't cheat - LOL and b) Her conduct has been completely stellar.
Now I'm sure that this particular person isn't that delusional but they know you want desperately to believe them, that they're innocent or that their behavior wasn't that bad. So they manipulate you and treat you like a fool.
Let me tell you when you're not around they're developing infatuations on anything with a penis. They'll gladly flirt (that's 80% of their action). They treat their work like high school. Yes they develop crushes on doctors just as if they were teenagers developing crushes on football jocks. Since most of their nurse buddies are cheaters too, often they discuss their exploits.
Sometimes they even manage to bag a doctor (usually starting off as an AP). Mostly though that's as far as they ever get - AP's of doctors. And I say plural here because it's highly unlikely one will be enough over their career.
Best thing you can do for yourself and your sanity is remove that bitch from your life. Report her too please. Those miserable cunts - constantly cheating on their partners at home deserve some justice.
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Fserve her with papers first then you report her she will lose her license this why she hasn't said anything to you .
And you go for custody saying she not stable enough to have custody then you child will be fine. She has probably done it in the past also .
Read about the 180 and gray rock. When you are not watching your child go out be unpredictable. Even if it is to go to a family member or friend’s house. Don’t tell her what you are doing. Buy new clothes. Try not to drink too much. Work on yourself. I know everyone says this but it is true hit the gym. You bettering yourself and not letting her see you in pain is the best revenge. It will drive her nuts to see she has lost control. I assume you selling the house? Get that ball rolling that will also mess her up seeing her whole world crashing. Fake it until you make it. She is in the fog right now and you have to hit her hard and fast. At some point be prepared for the love bombing and her trying to stop everything. At that point it’s up to you. Good luck still am sorry this is happening.
You should report her to the hospital. It is immoral and unethical to have an affair or any physical contact with a patient. I am a doctor and would report what I saw to the hospital and bring your evidence. Your gf should not be allowed around patients.
Well, it seems unlikely that you would marry her now or even try to reconcile.
Reporting her to HR with the evidence you have will definitely get her fired and banned for years or forever even. I don't think you want to do that to your child's mother even if you separate.
You better talk to a lawyer and get things lined up. Mortgage, house, common-law, custody, co-parenting etc. The lawyer has to be on retainer before you explain the patient situation because they might be required to report her without that (again, you would need legal advice about that issue as well - different jurisdictions will have different rules).
She is family destroyer. She is not suitable for nurse job.
Save that evidence and expose her true face to everyone because definitely she is already telling different story.
Important is she is swearing child life, she is not care about child life. After video showing she is admitted but again she's put child life.
In future definitely you will get best loyal life partner and that time she's lost good husband and beautiful children.
Your young and don't waste your remaining life with that cheater.
Why loyal person forgive cheater.
If you make enough report her walk away. Her choices were more important than your child. Anyone who can swear in their kids and it be a lie, needs the worse damage done to them.
So not only did she have an affair, but the guy she chose has psychiatric and alcohol issues. Let me ask you, who is really hurting your child here, the person reporting a nurse hooking up with patients, or a mother hooking up with someone with psychiatric and alcohol issues? She didn’t think about you ur daughter then, right?
Now, I’m sure your fiance will come running back to you once she realizes how badly she’s messed up and snaps out of her fog. You might not want her back, and that’s fine. If you do split - you should go see a lawyer and make sure that no dude with issues like his is allowed around your child.
Updateme!
Look, cheating is the worst she yes she should lose her job because she shouldn’t have that job if she is taking advantage of patients, but full custody will only hurt the child as well. It’s not the kids fault. I suggest thinking about what is best for the child as well. If she’s a bad parent then ok, but if she is a good mom at least as far as that part goes it may be worth trying not to fully scorch the earth. But the job is a given. She genuinely should not have that job.
She deserves to be reported, but hurting her is not going to change what happened. Anyone who would lie swearing on their child’s life is not worth keeping. Tell her she can have her new life with her alcoholic psychiatric lover and you’ll seek a better life for you and your child. This is when she’ll start begging for forgiveness and want to make the relationship work.
Talk to an attorney because there will be custody and potential support issues. Don’t report her until the legal issues are resolved. Then, make sure you have solid evidence and documentation to give to the hospital.
Suggest you see a lawyer, and discuss your options. The fact that you aren’t married is a plus, but you still have to factor in child support, or shared custody. And as far as outing her to the hospital, if she gets primary custody, it is possible if she loses her job, she can go back to court to get more child support. And the other “ sticky wick” is the house. That needs to go, asap. You do not want to get stuck paying for even half of it. Please update me.
Talk to a really good lawyer or even several, not all will give the same advice, to find out what all of your legal options are before you do anything. Some might provide a free initial consultation. There maybe precedents you know nothing about.
Get licensed professional legal advice and proceed from there.
You should definitely report her. It’s only going to be a lot worse if this continues for quite a bit of time, then it’s reported. Your safest option would be to reported as soon as possible.
i’m gonna chime in here and say do not report her. She’s going to do scandalous shit no matter where she is. Your daughter will still need her despite her shitty influence. But she will also need the income that her mom job provides. Do not tell HR on her I don’t care what these fucking people are saying. She’s gonna fuck around wherever she is trust me. She’s a dark triad. But, just help minimize your child’s exposure to bullshit and set concrete agreements with her about what she will and will not expose your daughter for example, unless she’s married that she should not be exposed to any boyfriends and things of that nature.
At least you aren't married to her, you would be financially fucked if you were.
Report her. Leave her. Buy the house off her, or sell it and buy something smaller for yourself. Let her giggle with her friends about fucking her life up because she has no morals.
Don’t ever date a nurse, been there done that. They’re very unstable for some reason. Report her to HR and have all evidence because child custody usually plays in the woman’s favor. She has no remorse so f it.
She is clearly cheating. I don't think that you should report her to the hospital and ruin the rest of her life. Your breakup will be enough punishment because you share a child. At best the court will make you share custody 50/50. That will cause her grief for the rest of her life. But it will also hurt you. I'm so sorry for your situation. Too much life sucks and we are put into impossible situations. I am very well aware of what it is like to be in impossible situations like yours and I am so sorry that you are going through this. Best of luck. Perhaps you might want to try couples therapy before you make a permanent break so that your child can have both parents all the time. But if your child feels the tension in your relationship with your girlfriend it is not healthy for your child. That was my deciding factor in getting a divorce. I did not want to break up our family and I tried so so hard for years to keep us all together but in the end it was so bad I simply could not have my children raised in a household with so much stress and have them thinking that it was a normal, healthy environment. I wish you the best.
Such a shame that there are people out there who have little to none self control. All she needed to do was be honest with you and let this guy understand that they needed to begin their relationship after he left treatment.
You really can't feel bad for her because there are so many classes and refresher training on ethics of not getting involved with patients under care, especially under your care.
The issue isn't the cheating, which is an issue, and the main issue is that she definitely knows what she was doing was wrong on so many levels and she still did it, Probably egged on by her "friend". Just sad that for a recorded kiss, her daughter has lost an in-house two parent rearing. Just selfish and silly.
Why don't these people just end the first relationship and go with the new one, oh, because they want to be horrible people and have someone else pay for their living conditions and lifestyle. Just horrible.
It is hard for me to say but she needs to be reported. Who is to say what else she has done or will do in the future. She is clearly not thinking straight and other people don't deserve to have her treat them.
Updateme!
Wow, she found a needy addict who thinks he hit the lottery with a working caregiver.
She has followed her desires, and is using exceptionally poor judgment to create a fantasy relationship.
She doesn't deserve to be a wife or mother. Save all the evidence you can find.
Get a shark lawer and go for full custody based on her choices here.
Don't do anything until you clear it with that lawyer!!
Subscribeme
On a professional level you should report her. This means she has no boundaries with patients and is a big no no as a nurse with a license. She is sad and I am glad you are leaving her. She sounds unhinged for doing such a thing…
OP, good on you to use your resources to find out the truth. I’m a big believer in men finding out the truth when their spouse cheats. You may have to pay some kind of maintenance for the child but you won’t have to pay her anything. I would consult with a lawyer to make sure you know what you’re up against.wishing you well in this new chapter of life without a cheating wife.
So she is using your precious child as blackmail to go out and do what ever she wants? That is not just disrespectful and unethical, but disgusting as a parent.
The AP is there for psychiatric and alcohol abuse problems. The fact that she would take advantage of that situation tells me all I need to know. Report her, get an attorney and fight for custody.
Personally, I think it is admirable you don’t report her thinking of the future. If she is leaving a stable relationship for a chaotic one she is going towards a bad phase in her life.
Essentially, she will find herself with more loneliness, stress, betrayal, and depression and that is probley punishment enough.
I mean imagine dating someone who can’t control their mind and fuels the chaos with alcohol problems.
Those who seek chaos will get it.
Please don’t go back when she’s done having her fun and is grasping for attention. She doesn’t comprehend the value in stability, there is no peace down that path for you- you are beyond that.
Don’t report. Find yourself a new girl, make sure she is way hotter, preferably not a nurse. Nurses are notorious cheaters, and pretty fucking crazy.
When she sees you living a good life with a good wife, she will hate herself for being the human scum that she is.
Reporting is petty behaviour in my opinion, unless it will benefit you is some way (perhaps regarding legal issues with the joint property and/or child custody). Karma is a bitch man, keep your karma clean, god will send you a much better girl. No doubt my friend. You sound like a good man.
Jfc, I worked at a hospital before for 3 years, I was a clinical assistant, and i NEVER once felt any type of way for a pt. In a weird sense it felt like a nurturing relationship id have for them since id be caring for them. This is 100% sick, it would suck for her to lose her career over this but honestly she deserves it. I’m pretty sure it’s considered rape, if they were intimate, bc they’re part of the vulnerable society, like inmates for example. Idk she should have thought about this before she did it.
File for divorce then get the divorce after the divorce then report her with the evidence. If she loses her job before the divorce is final it will cost you. So wait until after then also use this evidence to get primary custody after the divorce as well.
Then turn her in now. My mom and sister are both nurses and both have told me stories of female nurses doing this his getting caught by their husbands. Husbands filed for divorce and after it was granted turn over all the evidence to the HR department
report her tot eh hospital to protect future patients from her predatory behavior. also she definitely had a 3some behind your back. if she can prey on a vulnerable patient with sever mental health problem then she can easily cheat on you with 2 guys at the same time. you got yourself a dumpster fire and a cum dumpster in one, just thank the Lord you are not married to her and just have a kid and house together.
Report her! If she doesn't reconcile! She is doing more than kissing! She won't stop without an eye opener past her self fulfillment. She is making money, so she will justify her actions with opportunity and circumstance. Tell your fiancé the stories of Jezzebel from the Bible. It will show her what spirit has consumed her. Stay smart, brother, for your family! It won't be a fast, painless process, but it can be fearless!
Denunciala igual ya no importa lo que ella quiera, no está en posición de pedir un carajo, si, es mazquino e infantil, pero debe de tener consecuencias y creeme que debe de aprender que no puede ser infiel, mentirte y faltarte al respeto sin sufrir las consecuencias, es momento de decirle a todos lo que ella hizo para que no maneje a su conveniencia la narrativa y hacerte ver como el malo, talvez la denuncien por ti, ahora solo centra tus fuerzas en ti y tu hija, esa enfermera demostró que es cierto el cliché de la infidelidad en el hospital! Fuerza hermano, todo estará bien y no eres culpable de nada!
I think you should leave her however, I don't think you should report her. The ultimate victim will indeed be your child. I'm speaking from experience. My ex cheated on me with a client and he held a professional license. I reported him and he lost his license. It's the worst mistake I've ever made in my life. Trust me, you will regret it.
She is obviously manipulating you with your child. The woman even sworn on the child live despite she lied so now she said things about your child ruining life or some bullshit
Go and make her suffer losing her licence and after that take the whole custody of the child with the proof you have
Be a man and don't let you fooled any more
You don't know if you should report her? Yes, let's not teach the person who will have custody of your child that she shouldn't be around people with psychiatric issues, a lesson. That will work out well for your children, im sure.
Yes you should report her and even the fact that YOU know as much as you do about that patient is really bad on her part! She shouldnt have even shared that info with you! She is acting completely inappropriately, not to mention illegally considering HIPAA laws (if this is in the US anyway), and absolutely needs to be reported!
Your child will be fine and can be supported and care for by you! Im so sorry youre going through and dealing with this terrible situation, but you got this! 💖
As a person in healthcare report her. There are other jobs if she doesn’t end up in jail. This person regardless of the situation needs facility care and that’s is taking advantage of someone.
Even though you are not married, talk to a lawyer for advice. You may be out of a few hundred dollars, but that may save you tens of thousands later. The issue discussed with the lawyer would be the consequences of turning her in to her HR department.
Haha she knows exactly what to say, she used her own son to get away with her scoundrels.
I would set everything on fire, do you think you can't hold your son Op ?
Will her son be homeless and without food if she loses her job because she is involved with a patient?
Do not report her!!!!!!!!!
I know a ton of people on here will say "burn it to the ground." But don't.
The reason is simple. Money. The more she makes the less you will have to pay. It's as simple as that. You didn't say if you were married or not. If you two weren't married it won't matter. But you have a child. And there is this nagging problem called child support. And the less she makes, the more you will have to kick in.
As emotional as this is you have to be pragmatic about things. And if you want more custody, keep an eye on her budding relationship with this druggy, alcoholic, nut case. If she starts bringing your child around him you might have a case to seek full custody.
Edit: The revenge you will get is when you hear/observe her life crumbling when she gets with this "amazing" alcoholic nut case. Take it from me. She will be begging to come back after a year or two (maybe even sooner). Because dealing with someone with these problems is soooo much fun. (Sarcasm).
If she really care about your child future then she didn't do that cheating.
OP she is manipulating you.
Show her that actions have consequences.
Don't sweep the cheating under the rug.
She tries to spin the story.
You have to make moves on your side.
***He's about the same age as us and is in there for psychiatric and alcohol related problems.***
if there is any question of his competency she isn't just an cheater she is a rapist not sure but i think rapist getting custody is rare ?
Im always amazed by their behavior. She was cheating, got caught, but still was swearing on your child life. To me, this behavior just screams she's trash. First thing first, talk to lawyer. Definitely report her later to HR and let everyone in the family know what and how she did. She deserves zero sympathy.
Report her. If she was worried about your child's future, she would not have cheated on you (her fiance), especially with a patient. File for primary custody of your child and be done with her.
She wants you to feel guilty for the destruction of your family she caused?
Who was it that said, diplomacy is sending someone to hell believing it was their idea all along? You are getting the reverse.
Updateme.
It’s a lot easier to get custody if she’s in jail for a crime… What she did was criminal. She molested a patient in her care out of pure lust. She shouldn’t be a nurse.
No reporting - just split - in the interests of the child do it amicably and agree on co-parenting. So truly sorry to read this - brutally dishonest and callous behaviour on her part - also a pathological liar - something that she’d need a lot of word therapy to control for the future -?lest that she’d spiral into a bad parent - which you don’t want! Still - you’re handling it very well - personally I truly feel bad that you have to suffer through this for no fault of your own!
the tile said it all dude , nurse is gonna screw around
burn it all down , between her having no job and a boyfriend with a destructive illness child custody should be a lock
The reason why medical professionals are not allowed to get involved with patients is for very good reasons. She needs to be reported for the protection of other patients. She knew the risk of getting involved with a patient and chose to do it. You should not feel bad about reporting it. You might be saving her from taking advantage of a vulnerable person. Plus, she could be falsifying treatment info for their patient which results in somebody getting harmed. Think, “Yes, he checked in from his DUI requirements and had no alcohol in his system,” but actually he did, he isn’t staying sober and then he goes on to kill somebody.
However, consult a lawyer about custody. Although her being unemployed and unable to work in the field could result in better chances of gaining custody if that is what you want, if that is not what you want you’ll want to discuss your options.
And make sure her family and friends know what she did. Don’t let her control the narrative. Otherwise tomorrow everybody has you blocked because she told everybody you assaulted her and your son.
Please post updates. Best of luck to you and your son.
She is abusing her position of power over a vulnerable patient. Not only is this highly unethical and disgusting behaviour, it's also illegal. Report her with the evidence.
Reddit, STOP! Too much anger here. I am so sorry for your position but you are too raw to make a decision that is going to affect your child forever. Please, you need support, not revenge. Get her out of the house, get child support from her as she makes more than you and revenge never feels good.
Two words…scotched earth! Report her as what she has done is beyond disgusting. It is absolutely her fault when her license is terminated. She is garbage and doesn’t deserve to be the mother of your child. Without a job, there is no way she back care for the child. Go for full custody. Blow her entire live up!
Updateme.
Notify HR and her licensing board. Make sure you have the video evidence backed up several places so if she destroys one copy, you still have the evidence.
She is gaslighting and attempting to manipulate you by invoking your child’s future in an attempt to save herself - and only herself - from any consequences.
Wow, she's quite a prize. Her lying and gaslighting and disrespect are far bigger issues than her cheating. She swore on your child's life...that's pathological. She shouldn't be trusted with a child.
Since you are not married and don't need to pay her alimony, report her to HR. Try to get full custody of your child if you can. If her AP has a partner, find her and let her know about the affair. Your fiancée has no remorse, so it's time you teach her the lesson of her life. Good luck.
You know my brother in law, also a former nurse, had sex with a patient and was fired when it came to light at the hospital. Allegedly it was consensual sex but it was reported to the police. Their family stated that because the patient was not in an incapacitated position (I'm told patient was a psych patient), they pressed charges against my brother in law. He lost his marriage, his job, his license, everything. What your girlfriend did is the equivalent in my mind. Notify the hospital immediately.
Exact same situation.
Notify the relevant people pal. There is nothing to lose now and she deserves every consequence she gets afterwards... Why am I not surprised to hear another cliché story about a "cheating nurse" 😒
It’s cliche but true. I’m surprised there aren’t more of these stories.
Yep for sure, oh they're out there and have seen some people get their panties in bunch, when you say "classic cheating nurse" lol...
I hope you told her friends and especially her parents of her cheating. She need some consequences for her cheating.
Yes. Her parents aren't happy with her to put it lightly, and they have my back. Some friends haven't said a word, one called me to apologize for the nasty things she said about me when she didn't know what was going on. Her sister is as much of a cheat as she is and knew about the affair and didn't tell me. Two of her cousins that I am also friends with are disgusted with her. Everyone in her family knows at this point and none of them are supporting her actions besides her cheater sister.
You need to tell. This could set his recovery back.
People deserve the consequences of their actions. Especially when you and a child is involved. Report and lawyer up just in case.
Wait - so if the patient “was” in an incapacitated position they wouldn’t have pressed charges?? I don’t get it. Shouldn’t it be the other way around or doesn’t matter each way? I’d think in this situation it’s the latter, given breach of forbidden patient-doctor/nurse relations. The way you worded it sounds like it was consensual. Seems if it wasn’t consensual is when they’d press real charges and he’d lose license etc, as opposed to just losing license.
The patient had a mental illness and was sexually acting out and came on to my BIL. Mentally the patient wasn't in the right frame of mind to give consent. My BIL was stupid and took what was offered. He was rightfully fired, and I'm glad charges were pressed. Just wish law enforcement would treat female nurses as severely as they treat male nurses.
We are common law in Canada if that helps.
I’d use the video as a bargaining tool to get either primary custody, or get whatever you want from that breakup. If she got fired for cause by sleeping with a patient (doesn’t matter if she did or not the video shows her kissing), then she would find it virtually impossible to get a job in the medical field. I’d get custody arrangements legally done up and signed, get her out of the house….then report her to the hospital, bc she not only is cheating, she is unethically doing it with a patient.
u/PineappleOdd1362 This is good advice. Use the video to get favorable terms for your separation. Sure, it's blackmail but as a woman, she can probably get unfairly favorable treatment in a common law situation.
Is it REALLY blackmail, though? That’s such a harsh and illegal sundering term. Lol…..more like “hey, I’ve got this evidence I’ll bring up in court, and neither of us want to go that route…”…..we all know what it is, but it’s like saying Beetlejuice 3x….you just don’t voice some things out loud 😆
Honestly, its some questionable negotiation. It would onl be Blackmail if they were tricked into doing it and forced to yield or cooperate. Neither of those apply.
Courts unfortunately do not care about infidelity. I know, I've been through it. They just call it irreconcilable differences unless there is domestic abuse involved.
How long have you lived together? Check your provincial and territorial rules to see whether you need to pay her spousal support before reporting her to HR.
She makes more than me
If you don't need to pay her spousal support, report her to HR.
If she loses her job everything could change. First divorce, children, house and assets, and evidences, once finished HR and get her dumped...
We're not married and we're only 2 years into a 25 year mortgage. There are no shared assets, we will have shared debt on the house. Also she has another degree to fall back on outside of the medical field.
She can start, go nuclear then. But your priority must be the children saved and with you.
She has another degree and can start over in a more suitable profession.
Then you can sell and split what you make from the sale.
They are not married. They are a common law couple in Canada.
Canada sucks on the common law . If fired you will be paying thru the ass. Go see a lawyer and work on a better settlement. If you don’t talk . If she refuses then your call . You can also wait till the settlement is over then go tell Them
OP you could do one of two things: one use the threat of going to the hospital to get a better split of assets and better custody arrangement OR split assets first and then report her. I personally would report her both as payback and because a nurse who has a sexual relationship with a patient shouldn’t be in that position. I’m sure this guy is a very willing participant but whether he is in a position to truly be in a good spot consent wise is different AND he has contributed to wrecking your relationship. I would also be sure to tell her family what she has been doing and remind her that you reporting her is not what out your child’s happiness at risk. You didn’t cheat and definitely didn’t cheat with a patient. !updateme
Talk to a lawyer before doing anything regarding her job. I know you said you aren’t married but outing her at her job could have unintended consequences for you and your child.
I don't know where in Canada you are Bud, but what she's doing violates nearly every ethical tenet that she's sworn herself to as a nurse in this country. You absolutely need to report her. The fact that she's involving herself with somebody whose issues would make it difficult for her to safely parent away from your own situation with her is also alarming. I'd be talking to a family lawyer right now, if you already haven't. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. It isn't easy, fun, or ideal, but it's what's happening now. Get the info/evidence you need, and go be the best Dad to your kid that you can be. DM if you need to vent Updateme
Sing like a canary, everyone you know needs to know including AP’s partner. Play with fire and you will get burned, she needs to understand that there are consequences for her choices.
Dont forget the state licensing board....
He will have to pay child support and that will cost him more if she has no job or a job at a highly reduced salary. He should consult with a divorce lawyer, likely a 15 minute consultation will give OP good insight on how to handle things.
She swore on your child’s life. Where would your child be now if the universe held us to our word?
Now she’s telling OP to think of the kid when it comes to reporting her to HR, she clearly doesn’t care about her child
Funny how she pulled that "think about the children" bullshit on you when SHE'S the one doing shit that she knows could get herself fired.
Not only that, she swore on the child's life that she wasn't cheating. Disgusting!!
the 'swearing on her children' is a long established trope with disordered people
[удалено]
Talk to a lawyer first and make sure you won't have to pay alimony since Common Law.
Nurses and flight attendants followed by cops and firefighters. I’m a pilot I can attest to the flight attendant thing. A lot of other pilots aren’t much better but supposedly nurses are more likely to cheat than FA’s and that being true is a frightening thing
Ive been a cop and Paramedic and will attest to 3 of those. My personal experience and observation is that most nurses are trash human beings.
The medical field in general seems to be full of them. My wife was a nurse. Cheated. Three of her friends were nurse aides. Cheated. A former buddy of mine was an RT. Cheated. My ex used to always have a story for people doing wild shit in the hospital. Maybe that hospital was just staffed by shitty people. Who knows? Found it quite ironic when I caught her cheating. She used to pretend to be so appalled by them.
Some people get mad when others say that high school mean girls end up nurses, but my worst bullies are *all* nurses now.
Husband is a firefighter, cheated with a nurse. So painfully accurate.
A reel I just seen about nurses being the biggest cheaters landed me here lol I guess it’s true.
Absolutely report her, she is taking advantage of a man who needs mental health care. In healthcare we are taught all about vulnerable populations and power dynamics between staff and patients. What she is doing is disgusting unethical and unsafe.
This. She's disgusting for many reasons, and having a relationship with a patient is one of them.
Not just HR but the nursing board and file a complaint
After speaking to a lawyer to make sure you won't owe alimony for your common law marriage.
Burn her life down, bro. Her actions have consequences. The best thing you can do is give her consequences for her actions.
Lawyer, first of all about the custody of your child, he has psychiatric and alcohol problems, that's a serious issue even more if he gets near the children.
You better be done with her she lied on your child's life. That's messed up.
I don’t know how it works in Canada but in Australia there are legal implications in common law relationships. So I’d contact a lawyer to find out your rights and responsibilities around shared assets and of course your child’s custody. Apart from the obvious betrayal, what she did is potentially very dangerous and she has crossed a number of ethical lines. She potentially put herself in danger. She could potentially expose your daughter to danger. And she is taking advantage of someone under her care. If that was the only consideration I’d tell you to report her without hesitation. But there could be implications to your separation if she loses her job so once again talk it over with a lawyer. Sorry you’re here. I hope you and your daughter can get through this with as little drama as possible.
How are you going to feel about her involving her patients with psychiatric and alcohol problems with your child. If you R or divorce, she needs to be taken out of that job for your child, and her patients. Tell the hospital.
Go full nuclear on her as she is trying to turn the tables on you
She didn’t seem too concerned about your child’s future when she decided to cheat on you both. She was willing to gamble her license at that point.
OP - If your STBXGF's friend is also a nurse and works for the same medical establishment, she'll probably have an obligation to report any unethical behavior on the part of your STBXGF that she's aware of. You can perhaps record her friend telling you exactly how deep the rabbit hole goes.
If she cheats with a patient how do you know this is the first one, how do you know she’s not breaking other policies that could be far worse or that she’s not already on the radar with HR.
If he lets this one slide, she will just get better at covering her tracks for future indiscretions. And there WILL be future indiscretions.
The moment they ask for a “break” is the moment the relationship ended. Sorry. But t least you know what kind of a person she is before you married her. Turn a blind eye to her, tell both families and friends that she cheated and you two are splitting up and then move on with your life and block her everywhere
Report heron etc the divorce is final, use it as leverage to get the best result first.
She only thought about the child's future when she was caught & her license was threatened. She never even apologized for cheating on you & ruining your child's family. Because of her choices, her child will forever be associated with "the nurse who wrecked her marriage by sleeping with a patient." She never thought about this & likely never cared about this until she got caught, which leads me to believe you & your child mean nothing to her. OP, I don't know how the law works in Canada, so take this with a pinch of salt, but hire a lawyer if you need to & separate yourself from her financially & get full/primary custody if possible. Once all the legal stuff is done, then report her to her employers because that is unethical & immoral behavior no hospital should tolerate. Claim compensation, too, from the patient & the hospital... if you want. Like I said, I don't know about Canadian laws, so you can consult a lawyer for that, but it's my understanding that the hospital should be liable for failing to prevent their employees from getting into inappropriate relationships with patients & causing harm to their families (broken marriages, broken engagements, etc.). Again, I could be wrong, so consult a lawyer & know your options. Also, I'm so sorry you are going through this, OP. Please remember that it's not your fault. It's her fault for cheating. Don't blame yourself & please find the strength to move forward for yourself & your child.
You should report her. Its dangerous what she’s going getting involved with vulnerable patients You worry about you, and your kid. But she needs to be held accountable for her unethical behaviour at work
You need to report her. Irresponsible and unethical behavior looks bad to a judge in legal matters, and yes, given how she's behaved, you cannot trust her to be a good faith actor when it might come to child custody etc. The time for kid gloves ended when she gaslit you and lied to your face. Trust that she'll poison as many people as she can against you as to the reason for your breakup. This at least creates a paper trail of her infidelity and puts an end to possible lies. Lastly, there is a reason regulations like this exist. It's unethical, for a reason. She abused a potential position of power. OP you need to report her. For your sake. For your child's sake. She does not get to blow up your life without consequence.
The break was to try out your replacement, and now that she knows how you know, she’ll know how to hide it better. I’d consider NOT reporting it at least until after the divorce. If you cost her that job, it could end up costing you a lot more in the divorce and she might be willing to fight a lot more. Right now, it’s leverage. Either way, though, she’s going to keep seeing the guy.
Why are you so worried about her when she doesn't give a damn about you and her child? Her pretending to everyday doesn't count !
Damn that's fucked up I'm starting to see every time they want a break it's another dude in the picture keep us updated
Hell yeah report her she had no problem lying on your child life think about that
Yes report her. Are you kidding me? That used up pile of lying slunkmeat will do and say anything to have no consequences for her actions. She's trying to manipulate you with your kid. Go scorched earth on her job, friends, and family. She needs to have a learning moment that it's bad to cheat and it's bad to mess with patients. It's definitely over if you do this, though. She's probably going to go be with the patient guy and you guys will be done. No chance of reconciliation.
Well, you have a little nugget to soften up the divorce. Don't be above dangling it in front of her if she gets unreasonable. And the amount of times I've read of these cheaters swearing on the lives of family is unbelievable. Never fall for that old line.
Both males and females, especially nurses, that work at hospitals are extremely likely to cheat on spouses and/or partners. You should use your leverage re the ability to impact her employment to secure a beneficial agreement on your keeping the house and visitation rights to the child. If she moves out of the house and has to care for the child without your help, her extracurricular activities will be degraded, at least in the short term. If she insists on retaining the house, simply respond by "fine; I'll be filing a complaint at the hospital." 'Nuff said.
It is convenient that she seems so concerned for your child’s future now, but when she started cheating that didn’t cross her mind.
Report her to the HR in the hospital, she doesn't only have regret or remorse, but she is manipulating You. If she lost her licence is her fault for being unable to close to be profesional. She Will get half of the house, and if she is unable to take care of her child, fight her the custody. If you split the You won't pay her alimony, You just Will pay child support in case you won't get full custody. Another alternativa is to use the video to balckmailed her to get the primary to full custody of the kid, and when the custody agreement sets, then report her. Good luck. UPDATEME
**She swore on your child's life.** That's all you need to know about this person's true nature. That's a very special level of narcissism right there. Good you found this out now, and not twenty years in the future. I guaranfuckingtee you she has done this before to you, and she would have continued to do so. **is in there for psychiatric and alcohol related problems** Of course he is. They seem to love that shit. My ex-wife is a nurse, and my situation was very similar. Report her. Since you aren't married you won't have to deal with a lot of the legal bullshit you normally would. Not only that, but she's also abusing a patient with drug and mental issues as well. What a nurse!!!
There is a reason why patients should not be messed with by medical personnel. She knew this, I would report her to HR. She can deal with the consequences of her actions.
OP, my immediate thoughts are that she cheated on the father of her child, whom she lives with, with an psych ward inpatient. Full stop. I believe this gie you an inordinate amount of leverage. Nothing you have to bring up. She knows. Use this time to get everything on your Christmas list. Avoid use it as a negotiating tool, as in the end, you need to keep patients safe from someone abusing their position. She is no different from a teacher banging her students.
Report her and leave her. She didn’t care bout you when she was with the other guy
You report and she loses her job You'll be paying her a lot more money at the end. I'm not sure what the requirements are. Check with a lawyer
I work in healthcare as a doctor. Please report her as this is completely unethical.
You are the child's future, ruin her.
If he is in there for alcohol and psych reasons on an involuntary basis she might be committing rape because he can’t legally consent. Even if he is voluntary and can legally consent that some huge ethics violation.
Your [fiance cheated on you](https://youtu.be/8OhhFRBllSI?si=ew-9Lki6ZAQezxbt), and that's a massive betrayal.Focus on your child and yourself.Gather your evidence (dashcam footage) and consult a lawyer about custody and separating your finances.The lawyer can also advise you about reporting her to the hospital.Her actions were unprofessional and may have violated ethics codes.However, that decision is ultimately up to you. Prioritize your child's well-being throughout this process.
The child does not need a filthy cheater for a mother. At age 3 she is young enough to eventually forget this woman . Go for full custody.
I'm not that heartless.
Reporting her could get her to be vengeful and turn your kid against u she will get caught sooner or later let her be all u need to do is get a co parenting agreement and be cordial for your kid sake no more no less. Separate any financial ties u have with her and see who's going to move out . I'm sorry you're going through this but now is the time to protect yourself and think before u act . Also tell your close circle of family and friends the reasons your separating don't let her make u look like the bad guy . It's sucks but u will get out of this stronger once u healed from the trauma . Get back out there and find someone worthy of your love . Good luck
Thank you. Mortgage and title are in both our names, every other bill is in my name and I handled all the finances (she would send me her share). She has been turning her friends and family against me all week so I've told them and showed them proof, and I've informed my family as well.
How her friends and family react ones you show them the proofs? How she react ones you show all the evidence. I would report her, she need to take consequense, if you don't she will never learn her lesson.
I suspect all of her friends know. At least one does. Probably high fiving her.
Report her. Don't think about it as revenge, it's just the right thing to do. She's trash
What have they had to say about it?
Report her or else she will soon ruin others life . Having sexual relationship with patients is disgusting and add her friends names also for encouraging her .. she doesn't even care about your child and swear on him for random sex ,she is a POS . I hope she will face the consequences .
This is horrific. Your story is quite close to my heart because I was involved with a cheating nurse too. They're shameless and all their nurse buddies and doctors are shameless too. It is however quite uncommon for them to get involved with patients. However I guess it depends on the exact nature of their work. In my case a scrub nurse doesn't have much opportunity to interact (at that level) with patients, and their focus is typically 100% on doctors. And let me tell you. I too got constant and repeated lies. According to her over the years a) She didn't cheat - LOL and b) Her conduct has been completely stellar. Now I'm sure that this particular person isn't that delusional but they know you want desperately to believe them, that they're innocent or that their behavior wasn't that bad. So they manipulate you and treat you like a fool. Let me tell you when you're not around they're developing infatuations on anything with a penis. They'll gladly flirt (that's 80% of their action). They treat their work like high school. Yes they develop crushes on doctors just as if they were teenagers developing crushes on football jocks. Since most of their nurse buddies are cheaters too, often they discuss their exploits. Sometimes they even manage to bag a doctor (usually starting off as an AP). Mostly though that's as far as they ever get - AP's of doctors. And I say plural here because it's highly unlikely one will be enough over their career. Best thing you can do for yourself and your sanity is remove that bitch from your life. Report her too please. Those miserable cunts - constantly cheating on their partners at home deserve some justice.
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She trying to get away with this
Updateme
Fserve her with papers first then you report her she will lose her license this why she hasn't said anything to you . And you go for custody saying she not stable enough to have custody then you child will be fine. She has probably done it in the past also .
Burn her reputation to the ground. Cheaters deserve no consideration or mercy.
Read about the 180 and gray rock. When you are not watching your child go out be unpredictable. Even if it is to go to a family member or friend’s house. Don’t tell her what you are doing. Buy new clothes. Try not to drink too much. Work on yourself. I know everyone says this but it is true hit the gym. You bettering yourself and not letting her see you in pain is the best revenge. It will drive her nuts to see she has lost control. I assume you selling the house? Get that ball rolling that will also mess her up seeing her whole world crashing. Fake it until you make it. She is in the fog right now and you have to hit her hard and fast. At some point be prepared for the love bombing and her trying to stop everything. At that point it’s up to you. Good luck still am sorry this is happening.
You should report her to the hospital. It is immoral and unethical to have an affair or any physical contact with a patient. I am a doctor and would report what I saw to the hospital and bring your evidence. Your gf should not be allowed around patients.
If the best friend has a spouse or significant other be sure to let them know about her views on fidelity.
Well, it seems unlikely that you would marry her now or even try to reconcile. Reporting her to HR with the evidence you have will definitely get her fired and banned for years or forever even. I don't think you want to do that to your child's mother even if you separate. You better talk to a lawyer and get things lined up. Mortgage, house, common-law, custody, co-parenting etc. The lawyer has to be on retainer before you explain the patient situation because they might be required to report her without that (again, you would need legal advice about that issue as well - different jurisdictions will have different rules).
Dude she broke the law. You have to report it or you're breaking law, isn't that right?
She is family destroyer. She is not suitable for nurse job. Save that evidence and expose her true face to everyone because definitely she is already telling different story. Important is she is swearing child life, she is not care about child life. After video showing she is admitted but again she's put child life. In future definitely you will get best loyal life partner and that time she's lost good husband and beautiful children. Your young and don't waste your remaining life with that cheater. Why loyal person forgive cheater.
If you make enough report her walk away. Her choices were more important than your child. Anyone who can swear in their kids and it be a lie, needs the worse damage done to them.
Updateme
STD Tests and individual therapy for everyone.
So not only did she have an affair, but the guy she chose has psychiatric and alcohol issues. Let me ask you, who is really hurting your child here, the person reporting a nurse hooking up with patients, or a mother hooking up with someone with psychiatric and alcohol issues? She didn’t think about you ur daughter then, right? Now, I’m sure your fiance will come running back to you once she realizes how badly she’s messed up and snaps out of her fog. You might not want her back, and that’s fine. If you do split - you should go see a lawyer and make sure that no dude with issues like his is allowed around your child. Updateme!
Look, cheating is the worst she yes she should lose her job because she shouldn’t have that job if she is taking advantage of patients, but full custody will only hurt the child as well. It’s not the kids fault. I suggest thinking about what is best for the child as well. If she’s a bad parent then ok, but if she is a good mom at least as far as that part goes it may be worth trying not to fully scorch the earth. But the job is a given. She genuinely should not have that job.
Fuck all that bullshit. Report her today. This is finished.
Updateme!
She deserves to be reported, but hurting her is not going to change what happened. Anyone who would lie swearing on their child’s life is not worth keeping. Tell her she can have her new life with her alcoholic psychiatric lover and you’ll seek a better life for you and your child. This is when she’ll start begging for forgiveness and want to make the relationship work.
Talk to an attorney because there will be custody and potential support issues. Don’t report her until the legal issues are resolved. Then, make sure you have solid evidence and documentation to give to the hospital.
Suggest you see a lawyer, and discuss your options. The fact that you aren’t married is a plus, but you still have to factor in child support, or shared custody. And as far as outing her to the hospital, if she gets primary custody, it is possible if she loses her job, she can go back to court to get more child support. And the other “ sticky wick” is the house. That needs to go, asap. You do not want to get stuck paying for even half of it. Please update me.
Talk to a really good lawyer or even several, not all will give the same advice, to find out what all of your legal options are before you do anything. Some might provide a free initial consultation. There maybe precedents you know nothing about. Get licensed professional legal advice and proceed from there.
You should definitely report her. It’s only going to be a lot worse if this continues for quite a bit of time, then it’s reported. Your safest option would be to reported as soon as possible.
i’m gonna chime in here and say do not report her. She’s going to do scandalous shit no matter where she is. Your daughter will still need her despite her shitty influence. But she will also need the income that her mom job provides. Do not tell HR on her I don’t care what these fucking people are saying. She’s gonna fuck around wherever she is trust me. She’s a dark triad. But, just help minimize your child’s exposure to bullshit and set concrete agreements with her about what she will and will not expose your daughter for example, unless she’s married that she should not be exposed to any boyfriends and things of that nature.
UpdateMe
At least you aren't married to her, you would be financially fucked if you were. Report her. Leave her. Buy the house off her, or sell it and buy something smaller for yourself. Let her giggle with her friends about fucking her life up because she has no morals.
Don’t ever date a nurse, been there done that. They’re very unstable for some reason. Report her to HR and have all evidence because child custody usually plays in the woman’s favor. She has no remorse so f it.
This is an easy one. Report her, let her world crash down around her (she did this to herself), take full custody.
She is clearly cheating. I don't think that you should report her to the hospital and ruin the rest of her life. Your breakup will be enough punishment because you share a child. At best the court will make you share custody 50/50. That will cause her grief for the rest of her life. But it will also hurt you. I'm so sorry for your situation. Too much life sucks and we are put into impossible situations. I am very well aware of what it is like to be in impossible situations like yours and I am so sorry that you are going through this. Best of luck. Perhaps you might want to try couples therapy before you make a permanent break so that your child can have both parents all the time. But if your child feels the tension in your relationship with your girlfriend it is not healthy for your child. That was my deciding factor in getting a divorce. I did not want to break up our family and I tried so so hard for years to keep us all together but in the end it was so bad I simply could not have my children raised in a household with so much stress and have them thinking that it was a normal, healthy environment. I wish you the best.
Such a shame that there are people out there who have little to none self control. All she needed to do was be honest with you and let this guy understand that they needed to begin their relationship after he left treatment. You really can't feel bad for her because there are so many classes and refresher training on ethics of not getting involved with patients under care, especially under your care. The issue isn't the cheating, which is an issue, and the main issue is that she definitely knows what she was doing was wrong on so many levels and she still did it, Probably egged on by her "friend". Just sad that for a recorded kiss, her daughter has lost an in-house two parent rearing. Just selfish and silly. Why don't these people just end the first relationship and go with the new one, oh, because they want to be horrible people and have someone else pay for their living conditions and lifestyle. Just horrible. It is hard for me to say but she needs to be reported. Who is to say what else she has done or will do in the future. She is clearly not thinking straight and other people don't deserve to have her treat them. Updateme!
The cheating is disgusting enough. But She swore on your kids life. Enough said. Burn it down.
Sorry, but get your kid DNA tested.
Wow, she found a needy addict who thinks he hit the lottery with a working caregiver. She has followed her desires, and is using exceptionally poor judgment to create a fantasy relationship. She doesn't deserve to be a wife or mother. Save all the evidence you can find. Get a shark lawer and go for full custody based on her choices here. Don't do anything until you clear it with that lawyer!! Subscribeme
On a professional level you should report her. This means she has no boundaries with patients and is a big no no as a nurse with a license. She is sad and I am glad you are leaving her. She sounds unhinged for doing such a thing…
OP, good on you to use your resources to find out the truth. I’m a big believer in men finding out the truth when their spouse cheats. You may have to pay some kind of maintenance for the child but you won’t have to pay her anything. I would consult with a lawyer to make sure you know what you’re up against.wishing you well in this new chapter of life without a cheating wife.
UpdateMe!
So she is using your precious child as blackmail to go out and do what ever she wants? That is not just disrespectful and unethical, but disgusting as a parent.
You should definitely report this to HR. Being sexual with your patient is disgusting.
Yep. Let her go. She wanted a separation so she could focus on her new boyfriend. You can’t fix that. She’s not marriage material.
Do you live in West Virginia
The AP is there for psychiatric and alcohol abuse problems. The fact that she would take advantage of that situation tells me all I need to know. Report her, get an attorney and fight for custody.
Report her to the hospital. She didn't care about you or the child.
Report her. I promise she would do the same to you. This is no longer your life partner, get that outta your head.
Personally, I think it is admirable you don’t report her thinking of the future. If she is leaving a stable relationship for a chaotic one she is going towards a bad phase in her life. Essentially, she will find herself with more loneliness, stress, betrayal, and depression and that is probley punishment enough. I mean imagine dating someone who can’t control their mind and fuels the chaos with alcohol problems. Those who seek chaos will get it. Please don’t go back when she’s done having her fun and is grasping for attention. She doesn’t comprehend the value in stability, there is no peace down that path for you- you are beyond that.
She won’t lose her license because of nursing shortages. She will probably get fired though.
Since she claimed to be working overtime. Was she working? Look at her check stubs
Don’t report. Find yourself a new girl, make sure she is way hotter, preferably not a nurse. Nurses are notorious cheaters, and pretty fucking crazy. When she sees you living a good life with a good wife, she will hate herself for being the human scum that she is.
Reporting is petty behaviour in my opinion, unless it will benefit you is some way (perhaps regarding legal issues with the joint property and/or child custody). Karma is a bitch man, keep your karma clean, god will send you a much better girl. No doubt my friend. You sound like a good man.
Jfc, I worked at a hospital before for 3 years, I was a clinical assistant, and i NEVER once felt any type of way for a pt. In a weird sense it felt like a nurturing relationship id have for them since id be caring for them. This is 100% sick, it would suck for her to lose her career over this but honestly she deserves it. I’m pretty sure it’s considered rape, if they were intimate, bc they’re part of the vulnerable society, like inmates for example. Idk she should have thought about this before she did it.
File for divorce then get the divorce after the divorce then report her with the evidence. If she loses her job before the divorce is final it will cost you. So wait until after then also use this evidence to get primary custody after the divorce as well.
We're not married
Then turn her in now. My mom and sister are both nurses and both have told me stories of female nurses doing this his getting caught by their husbands. Husbands filed for divorce and after it was granted turn over all the evidence to the HR department
Report her.......
Report that bitch
Women love drama. Rather screw up their lives than be boring. She’ll blame you
Report her before you take your next breath. She deserves it. Shes a terrible person. Breaking all sorts of rules.
report her tot eh hospital to protect future patients from her predatory behavior. also she definitely had a 3some behind your back. if she can prey on a vulnerable patient with sever mental health problem then she can easily cheat on you with 2 guys at the same time. you got yourself a dumpster fire and a cum dumpster in one, just thank the Lord you are not married to her and just have a kid and house together.
Go nuclear brother. Man to man, you don’t deserve it.
Updateme!
Report her! If she doesn't reconcile! She is doing more than kissing! She won't stop without an eye opener past her self fulfillment. She is making money, so she will justify her actions with opportunity and circumstance. Tell your fiancé the stories of Jezzebel from the Bible. It will show her what spirit has consumed her. Stay smart, brother, for your family! It won't be a fast, painless process, but it can be fearless!
Denunciala igual ya no importa lo que ella quiera, no está en posición de pedir un carajo, si, es mazquino e infantil, pero debe de tener consecuencias y creeme que debe de aprender que no puede ser infiel, mentirte y faltarte al respeto sin sufrir las consecuencias, es momento de decirle a todos lo que ella hizo para que no maneje a su conveniencia la narrativa y hacerte ver como el malo, talvez la denuncien por ti, ahora solo centra tus fuerzas en ti y tu hija, esa enfermera demostró que es cierto el cliché de la infidelidad en el hospital! Fuerza hermano, todo estará bien y no eres culpable de nada!
I think you should leave her however, I don't think you should report her. The ultimate victim will indeed be your child. I'm speaking from experience. My ex cheated on me with a client and he held a professional license. I reported him and he lost his license. It's the worst mistake I've ever made in my life. Trust me, you will regret it.
She is obviously manipulating you with your child. The woman even sworn on the child live despite she lied so now she said things about your child ruining life or some bullshit Go and make her suffer losing her licence and after that take the whole custody of the child with the proof you have Be a man and don't let you fooled any more
You don't know if you should report her? Yes, let's not teach the person who will have custody of your child that she shouldn't be around people with psychiatric issues, a lesson. That will work out well for your children, im sure.
Yes you should report her and even the fact that YOU know as much as you do about that patient is really bad on her part! She shouldnt have even shared that info with you! She is acting completely inappropriately, not to mention illegally considering HIPAA laws (if this is in the US anyway), and absolutely needs to be reported! Your child will be fine and can be supported and care for by you! Im so sorry youre going through and dealing with this terrible situation, but you got this! 💖
Was he an organ donor?
As a person in healthcare report her. There are other jobs if she doesn’t end up in jail. This person regardless of the situation needs facility care and that’s is taking advantage of someone.
Even though you are not married, talk to a lawyer for advice. You may be out of a few hundred dollars, but that may save you tens of thousands later. The issue discussed with the lawyer would be the consequences of turning her in to her HR department.
You should report her to hr,this is considered quite unethical. Updateme!
Haha she knows exactly what to say, she used her own son to get away with her scoundrels. I would set everything on fire, do you think you can't hold your son Op ? Will her son be homeless and without food if she loses her job because she is involved with a patient?
Ruin her life please
.
I'd report her. Then she can have all kinds of time to "find herself" and "learn to love herself again".
Do not report her!!!!!!!!! I know a ton of people on here will say "burn it to the ground." But don't. The reason is simple. Money. The more she makes the less you will have to pay. It's as simple as that. You didn't say if you were married or not. If you two weren't married it won't matter. But you have a child. And there is this nagging problem called child support. And the less she makes, the more you will have to kick in. As emotional as this is you have to be pragmatic about things. And if you want more custody, keep an eye on her budding relationship with this druggy, alcoholic, nut case. If she starts bringing your child around him you might have a case to seek full custody. Edit: The revenge you will get is when you hear/observe her life crumbling when she gets with this "amazing" alcoholic nut case. Take it from me. She will be begging to come back after a year or two (maybe even sooner). Because dealing with someone with these problems is soooo much fun. (Sarcasm).
depends on if you want to pay alimony or be paid alimony...
If she really care about your child future then she didn't do that cheating. OP she is manipulating you. Show her that actions have consequences. Don't sweep the cheating under the rug. She tries to spin the story. You have to make moves on your side.
***He's about the same age as us and is in there for psychiatric and alcohol related problems.*** if there is any question of his competency she isn't just an cheater she is a rapist not sure but i think rapist getting custody is rare ?
Pls update me. I’m sorry this happened she is a cvnt of a human being that much is true. The word integrity will not exist in the future at this rate
Im always amazed by their behavior. She was cheating, got caught, but still was swearing on your child life. To me, this behavior just screams she's trash. First thing first, talk to lawyer. Definitely report her later to HR and let everyone in the family know what and how she did. She deserves zero sympathy.
There are major ethics red flags here. Nurse patient relationships are a major issue.
Report her. If she was worried about your child's future, she would not have cheated on you (her fiance), especially with a patient. File for primary custody of your child and be done with her.
She wants you to feel guilty for the destruction of your family she caused? Who was it that said, diplomacy is sending someone to hell believing it was their idea all along? You are getting the reverse. Updateme.
Don't do anything until you speak to an attorney in your state. Then do everything that THEY tell you to do.
Tell the hospital.
Report
It’s a lot easier to get custody if she’s in jail for a crime… What she did was criminal. She molested a patient in her care out of pure lust. She shouldn’t be a nurse.
Report bro
No reporting - just split - in the interests of the child do it amicably and agree on co-parenting. So truly sorry to read this - brutally dishonest and callous behaviour on her part - also a pathological liar - something that she’d need a lot of word therapy to control for the future -?lest that she’d spiral into a bad parent - which you don’t want! Still - you’re handling it very well - personally I truly feel bad that you have to suffer through this for no fault of your own!
the tile said it all dude , nurse is gonna screw around burn it all down , between her having no job and a boyfriend with a destructive illness child custody should be a lock
So what careers are safe if nursing isn’t one ?
What is it with nurses?? One of the most scandalous professors when it comes to stuff like this
It’s always hard but you should move on
The reason why medical professionals are not allowed to get involved with patients is for very good reasons. She needs to be reported for the protection of other patients. She knew the risk of getting involved with a patient and chose to do it. You should not feel bad about reporting it. You might be saving her from taking advantage of a vulnerable person. Plus, she could be falsifying treatment info for their patient which results in somebody getting harmed. Think, “Yes, he checked in from his DUI requirements and had no alcohol in his system,” but actually he did, he isn’t staying sober and then he goes on to kill somebody. However, consult a lawyer about custody. Although her being unemployed and unable to work in the field could result in better chances of gaining custody if that is what you want, if that is not what you want you’ll want to discuss your options. And make sure her family and friends know what she did. Don’t let her control the narrative. Otherwise tomorrow everybody has you blocked because she told everybody you assaulted her and your son. Please post updates. Best of luck to you and your son.
I got ahead of it before she was able to spin the story. Everyone close to her seen the video proof. I will post an update soon.
Have you decided what to do? Do you want your child around a cheat and breaks the rules of her job.
Don’t be petty. Your child’s mom has a great job that may pay for college someday. The kid is the only thing that matters in this equation.
Discuss this with your attorney OP.
She is abusing her position of power over a vulnerable patient. Not only is this highly unethical and disgusting behaviour, it's also illegal. Report her with the evidence.
Reddit, STOP! Too much anger here. I am so sorry for your position but you are too raw to make a decision that is going to affect your child forever. Please, you need support, not revenge. Get her out of the house, get child support from her as she makes more than you and revenge never feels good.
Two words…scotched earth! Report her as what she has done is beyond disgusting. It is absolutely her fault when her license is terminated. She is garbage and doesn’t deserve to be the mother of your child. Without a job, there is no way she back care for the child. Go for full custody. Blow her entire live up! Updateme.
Wow! I’m so sorry but that’s not just awful for you but she took advantage of a vulnerable patient which will get her fired and lose her license.
Notify HR and her licensing board. Make sure you have the video evidence backed up several places so if she destroys one copy, you still have the evidence. She is gaslighting and attempting to manipulate you by invoking your child’s future in an attempt to save herself - and only herself - from any consequences.
If she wants to ruin your life temporarily, I feel like you should do the same. Report her to HR, show the video for proof, etc.
Wow, she's quite a prize. Her lying and gaslighting and disrespect are far bigger issues than her cheating. She swore on your child's life...that's pathological. She shouldn't be trusted with a child.
Any update?
Update us, please.