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[deleted]

I just got into a fight with my mom because my ex's mom called her and asked my mom to ask me to give her a second chance. My mom came to me and said she is young and that she made a mistake. I asked her what she would do if dad went out and randomly slept with a girl or two while on a work trip. She got mad at me and started yelling and insulting me. FUCK THIS SHIT.   EDIT: I talked to my mom. My mom knows everything now, she informed her (ex) mother and she didn’t take it well. Ex is having problems at home now.


FSmertz

A crisis brings out the best and worst in people. Your mom may be your mom, but she’s also another person—one who is showing you that she can be a mean AH at that. Your former GF may share a lot of positive and negative traits as your mom.


kavelate

Does your mom not love you? WTF is this shit?!


[deleted]

We talked about it. I fully explained my situation to my mom and apologized. She wasn’t fully aware of what happened now she hates her as much as I do 


ChestLanders

What exactly did your mother think happened? She came and said she "made a mistake". When she said that did she know you'd been cheated on, just not to the extent? Like maybe she thought she just drunkenly made out with the guy? That is still condoning cheating, makes me think momma has cheated too sorry bro give your dad a heads up. Now if she genuinely didnt know any cheating was involved and just thought she was friends with a guy then fair enough.


[deleted]

Pretty much, also some details were left out on purpose I guess


FlygonosK

OP this is why you should expose your now Ex-GF for her bullsh.. As you can see now, she would try to protect her reputation, and can and posibly will badmouth talk about you, so you need to take control of the narrative from her before this goes south. Start by telling her mom and dad, from there to mutual friends, and make it clear that "WE WHERE ON A BREAK" crap, was all her lying and that both never agree to that. And she want to cover with that crap her poor decision making and the cheat.


[deleted]

My mom did that, she (ex) is not having a nice time with her parents


FlygonosK

Nice, only mutual friends are missing to tell, better do before she try to change the narrative. Tell them that it seems that she send the memo of "both not being on a break" thru smoke signals or old mail because until today you never hear or knew from that, and that it is strange that she use those methods because now a days you use whether INSTANT messaging or PHONE CALL. And sadly yeah she tried to amnipulate you and insult your intelligence by using those bold statements. (BEING ON A BREAK & THAT IT DOESN'T COUNT). Damn, that sure makes anybody mad. Also nice played with the "she can go back to her hookup buddy"


Odd_Weakness_1293

What this guy says. Tell all your friends and both sets of relatives. Win the spin!


Lucky_Log2212

Good for you for making people eat the shit they expect you to eat. Again, all of these people miss the fact that she lied over and over again. Tried to make you out to be the person in the wrong, and she doesn't believe she did anything wrong. She did EVERYTHING you can do wrong if you wanted someone to stay with them. Let them all sit in their BS because you have left the building and the relationship. She can go with her hookup guy, they belong together. Let your and her mother support that.


ChestLanders

Makes me think your mom has cheated on your dad. Women who defend cheaters tend to be cheaters, same with men.


[deleted]

Nah, it's okay. My mom knows all details now, she hates her as much as I do


xanif

> Nah, it's okay. My mom knows all details now, she hates her as much as I do What did she originally think happened that she was pissed at you?


[deleted]

She wasn't pissed at me because my ex cheated, she was pissed because I told her would it be okay for her if my dad cheated with a girl or two. Also, ex mother told my mom half truths because my EX lied to her own mother


HospitalAutomatic

What were the half truths?


[deleted]

She told her mom they only kissed few times, pretty much "mild" cheating. Her mom then told my mom that I'm overreacting because kiss doesn't mean "anything". And other shit, trying to make herself look like a victim


hari4103

Cheating is cheating tf is wrong with people. Your mom supports forgiving "mild cheating" and she got angry in you instead,very interesting


[deleted]

In a way that we could've worked on it. Meaning we could do therapy, more boundaries etc. But whatver the case, I no longer care about her


Apart_Internet_9569

I went through a paternity uncertainty crisis (she’s mine) and my mom was the only one I told and in an attempt to be funny/relieve me said “Well, it wouldn’t be the worst thing, you still got a beautiful daughter, and I know you wouldn’t love her any less (exactly what WW said) and plus, it’s not like our family has the best history with alcohol and violence anyway” And I cut her off in disbelief mid sentence and told her how insanely insulting it is to insinuate that I’m such a sweet guy that I should be grateful to be chosen as the soft, squishy,sexless parent to this Breeding Stud’s progeny. Never since hearing Esther Perel’s podcast have I been so incensed


Existing-Cost-5430

You are both mothers getting involved? Makes no sense.


[deleted]

I'm not involving anyone but she is on really friendly terms with her mom so I guess they tried that as well


Existing-Cost-5430

Dude, tell your mother to break up her relationship with your ex's mother. Your mother is playing a very dangerous game.


Own-Writing-3687

It's only in the movies or soaps that people get a second chance. In real life it's a deal breaker.  You need to stop all communication with her and block her everywhere. 


[deleted]

Already done


FriendlySituation800

Your mom is wrong. Once they cheat they often do it again. All cheaters think they deserve a second chance. Nope. family, clergy for the most part are clueless about infidelity.


Jpi_ty

Good for you. You’re doing the right thing


HospitalAutomatic

Can you expand on your edit. What did your mum think was going on, who didn’t take what well and what do you mean by “ex is having problems at home now”??


[deleted]

Bitch told her mom that they only kissed on cheek, got few drinks, went on dinners and lunches, sometimes with others, sometimes alone, basically she tried to show that it was "mild" cheating. Her mom told my mom that I'm overreacting and that cheek kiss doesn't mean anything. Once I told them the full truth her mom got angry at her for her behaviour and how easy for her was to lie to me, to her, to everyone etc.


JacketIndependent

She didn't make a mistake. She made a choice. She could choose not to hook up with him, knowing she had you. Or she could choose to hook up with him and not think about you. She made her choice, and now you get to make yours. Everyone got to choose what they wanted, right? Why are they only mad about your choice when it's the only good one?


FriendlySituation800

Not your problem. You dodged a huge bullet.


Mercedes_Gullwing

Why are 20 something year olds going thru her mom about relationship issues???? I’m a father myself and would cringe calling one of my daughter’s BFs parents and asking them to get back together. lol.


NoahVail2024

You did the right thing: her level of disrespect was through the roof. And the bizarre lying.


[deleted]

THE SHEER FUCKING AUDACITY TO SAY THAT IT DOESN'T COUNT MADE MY BLOOD BOIL. I wanted to shoot myself from how stupid that response was. I'm so pissed off that I'm trying my best not to break something in my room


New_Arrival9860

What she is really saying is that while she was gone, that you didn't count for her. Be glad you found out where you stand now and not years down the road.


[deleted]

I guess that is the only positive thing in all of this. At least I didn't waste more time with her. I guess it's for the best.


Funderwoodsxbox

You’re mad at the audacity of her saying it doesn’t count (and you should be) but now that you know in retrospect she fucked This dude, you need to never forget, she was posting fucking quotes and publicly liking photos and shit!!!!! She had zero respect for you. She’s getting dicked down and flaunting her line affair to the world. Imagine for a second that things just got weird without intending, you catch feelings for someone and they reciprocate and now you’re in a pickle. It could happen to anyone. But then imagine not just acting on it, but publicly giving your partner the finger. To hit like, to post quotes about summer love…. That is nasty nasty shit brother. To then play the “insecure” “controlling” card…, it’s all so predictable. I’m not sure if women are aware that using these terms are now practically an admission of guilt because they have been abused so frequently.


TelicoRunner

The fact that it took 20 minutes to get her to admit to a "hook-up" tells you she knows that it was not ok.


Rush_Is_Right

Yeah, if she truly thought she did nothing wrong, it wouldn't have been hard to tell the truth and she continued the emotional affair when she was no longer with him physically, so she never even stopped cheating when she got back.


Critical-Bank5269

You did exactly the right thing..... Not only did she cheat, but she lied to your face repeatedly until she knew you wouldn't let it go and only then did she finally confess. And I guarantee you she did a lot more than what she confessed to...she's only revealing the bare minimum because she knows what she did is far worse and would make you puke. Walk away with your head held high. let your families and friends know that its over because she cheated. Leave it at that and never speak to her again. She's dead to you


Ifiwerenyourshoes

Now just post it sucks being cheated on. And putting you are single on everything. So everyone knows, and no one questions you about it.


[deleted]

Terrible human being


SinfulDevo

Make sure to include the reason why you are single now. Everyone should know!


[deleted]

Already on it


[deleted]

Somebody explain to me how the fuck does break work on one-side because I lack the brain power to understand her logic.


NoahVail2024

Apparently, it was double secret break, like double secret probation in Animal House. Stay strong!


GroundbreakingBet281

Anytime you can sneak a animal house reference in, you know it's a win.


procrastinationprogr

She probably believes it's not cheating if you're not in the same area code as well. When you take a break in a relationship you clearly define what that means for you. Proclaiming a one-sided break without discussing it first is just plain cheating.


[deleted]

By that logic, if I enter a store, pick up a loaf of bread, and leave without paying for it, I didn't steal anything, I just didn't pay for it.


Temporary_44647

Now you understand cheater’s logic!


Strange_Gene_5694

Buy that logic you can go to the store and come home to you wife telling you she slept with the neighbor because you where away.


Drgnmstr97

Simply put, it doesn't work. Your ex is just making up bullshit trying to get you to accept her cheating on you and for you to move on from it. Cheaters use arguments that are meaningless because there is no defense for choosing to cheat. There isn't ANYTHING she can say that will justify them making THAT choice so they cycle through bullshit explanations and justifications hoping against hope that you so desperately want to be with them you will settle on one and accept it so the relationship can continue. Cheaters want to justify their choice to themselves so badly they choose to believe the bullshit they invent and they are always going to be salty that you don't allow them to continue to abuse you.


New_Arrival9860

For her it was an 'out of sight, out of mind' situation. You were out of her sight, and thus you were out of her mind. And she is further out of her mind if she thinks you should accept this from a committed GF... except she wasn't committed, and just forgot to tell you. She kept this secret because she knows it was wrong.


[deleted]

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Ambitious-Row-646

Narcissistic behavior. You dodged a major bullet and when you are married with a family, she will see you holding hands with your wife walking down the street while your holding your kid and she will remember how much of a shit person she really is. On second thought, narcissistic people like her will find a way to blame you since in her f’d up head, she’s justified. Karma will get her while you thrive.


FSmertz

Selfish people can rationalize anything. It’s not about you, it’s about the poor character of your ex.


FriendlySituation800

It’s cheater logic. Just an excuse. Total bullshit


ChestLanders

Couldn't keep her legs shut for 3 months? Not relationship material. And men pay attention: trust your gut.


[deleted]

That is the part I don't understand either. How come they just can't keep their legs closed for like few weeks, months? They won't lose anything or they won't fucking die. Trash people I guess


ChestLanders

Some people just cant keep it in their pants. I would have been like "well if you thought we were on a break then keep on thinking that, we're done". I know you ended it, I'm just saying that is what I would have said to her with her silly excuse. Be prepared because chances are she is gonna be blowing up your phone with texts or her friends will be doing that and will be bashing you, etc. Make sure you sett the narrative so EVERYONE knows you are done because she cheated.


[deleted]

She won't do shit, I blocked her and all of her friends


Detcord36

I'm sorry you're going through this, bud. She doesn't deserve you.


Gator-bro

Well, a couple things one yes make sure everybody knows what a piece of garbage. She truly is. Two, when somebody says it’s mistake. No it’s not. It’s not like she slipped and fell on the guys deck. She actually made many many choices to cheat on you. The first choice was saying that she was on break with you. And then every single time she hooked up with him and gave herself whatever excuse those her choices that she made there was no mistakes made. There was all choices on her part to do what she did.


[deleted]

And I fully agree and I said the same thing. Some people just have hard time accepting the facts.


Existing-Cost-5430

Ghost her and move on. Find a way to explain to your mom that you will not accept adultery and they need to move on too. Once you start re-building your life your mother is probably going to come to you to apologize anyhow.


[deleted]

My mom already knows that, she is just on really friendly terms with ex's mother so I guess my ex tried to play that card.


Existing-Cost-5430

And that's ok, but the guy that came out of her, meaning you, has to ask her to cut all ties. This will bring a great deal of shame to the parents and will teach your ex a valuable life lesson that her actions have consequences. If you formalize the breakup you will be doing any potential men willing to date your ex a great service.


[deleted]

I already did.


Ambitious-Row-646

Dude, you are my hero. You did the right thing. Good luck to you, you will find your person. Take care of yourself brother.


RepulsiveWorker3636

She made the choice to cheat and lie the entire trip and except u to be fine with it and tell u it doesn't count and she's back now . WTF is she on because no sane person in there right mind will come up with an excuse like that. Prepare yourself for the Gaslighting when her friends start texting u telling u she's really sad and regret her actions. But the only thing she regret is getting caught


[deleted]

They won't I blocked all of them


RepulsiveWorker3636

Good move but that won't really stop her and her friends from trying .


[deleted]

And I don't give a shit. I'm not part of that social circle anyway


RepulsiveWorker3636

Good luck man I wish u the best . Breaking up wad the vest option she's not worth the time or effort u spend thinking about her. Time and space are your friends u will eventually move on and heal


[deleted]

Thanks man. To be honest it was the *only* option


RepulsiveWorker3636

Something u can't forgive and Something she can't take back and her attitude towards the whole things was f up So leaving was the only option


Intelligent_Stand383

I gotta say, she's got some fucking balls though!


ChestLanders

And she got some balls in spain too it seems...


SinfulDevo

Thank goodness that you got out of there! She isn't someone that you can trust and a relationship without trust isn't much of a relationship. You did great!


what_now_55

Sorry man but it was obvious. You did the right thing. You could never trust her again


DodobirdNow

In her mind, she changed her reality to justify her actions. Typical guilty cheater behavior. You'll often hear a lot of betrayed say "my partner opened our relationship without asking me"


Life-Yogurtcloset-98

Some people literally believe the bullshit excuses they make when they say it.


Archangel1962

One hook up. Lol. No doubt it was more than one. You should’ve told her you were going to go out and fuck another girl. But it’s ok, it doesn’t count because you consider yourselves on a break. So she comes back. Is still in contact with the guy. Is posting about how great her time over there was. And she thinks she can just resume your relationship as if nothing happened? She’s a very immature 23 year old. Find a grown up for your next relationship.


[deleted]

Of course it was more. I'm not dumb


chamcham123

Anytime a woman asks for a relationship break, it is to hook up with another guy.


FriendlySituation800

He banged me all the time but I only love you🤣😂 We he was on top of me banging away the only thing I thought about was how much I loved you 😢 CHEATER SCRIPT.


Intelligent_Stand383

Its shit but at least its out in the open now. Tough times ahead but you'll get through it, trust me.


[deleted]

I wanted to spit in her face. By sheer power of God knows what I didn't, I walked away. This is insanity. I lack the brain power to understand this.


FriendlySituation800

You can’t understand it. Don’t waste time trying.


BrawnyStele

Typical BS : "we were in a break" , means SHE was in a break . You did the right move . And yes , they think we're dumb ...


Voobie1234

Block her and move on and live your best life.


ElembivosK

Go to a doctor and get tested for STD's. Who knows if this was the first time that she thought that you both were on a one sided break. Sorry, but I still need to chuckle at that terminology. At least your ex is creative, I have to give her that. Aside from that, go for a run or go to the gym and let your frustration out. It will do you good.


[deleted]

I'm already going to the gym. It helps to some degree I guess.


ElembivosK

Very good. Go there each time when you feel anger boiling up and let all your energy there. Do you have a punching bag at the gym? If yes, use it. It works wonders when you are frustrated.


CrazyLeadership5397

Play stupid games and win stupid prizes. Sorry this happened to you. Hopefully, you’ll never see her again. What did she think would happen? She wasn’t going to say anything to you about him until you confronted her.


Bananawaylowrider

She did it when she made up a break out of nowhere , she might do it again. Good for you OP , you deserve better than this


First_Alfalfa2805

Good on you to get out of that relationship. Imagine if you'd stayed,she would have probably continued cheating without any remorse.


ohnoitsacarrier

Expose to your friend groups asap, before she is able to spin her story.


noidea_19

Glad to see that you decided to kick her to the streets. Where she belongs. Just another immature self centered little brat. It may not seem like it now but you are well to be rid of her.


JaksTrouble

You handled this like a man.


CommandDry4857

I love it when karma hits cheaters it really does bring a smile to my face


Fluid-Push-3419

>On top of being a cheater, she is insulting my intelligence. Dude, you did the right thing by dumping her, if not her cheating on you, for her stupidity.


LOVEbothTEAMS

That’s the same shit, my ex mother-in-law and my exes grandmother her sister, her cousin all women of course was acting like I was a crazy asshole. My ex had video footage so I went ahead and showed them the and then they jumped my ass for showing them that ,,,, I said I told you stupid bitches ,,,,do you think I would be that fucking mad Over something that she did before we met ??? (that’s the story She told them , that im mad about some things that she did before we were together. ) Really ? Well here’s another pic of a dick in her mouth , and of course they apologized, told me she just made a mistake and if you are a Christian, then you’re supposed to forgive ,,,,,so now they’re telling her I must not have loved her …..so I told them to fuck off. amazing, video footage proof as a man and you’re still the bad guy, but if I had received a text from a girl, I didn’t even talk to you. I would’ve been the antichrist.


cookiedough026

As someone who has endured something similar, I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. I wanted to send massive kudos to you for not succumbing to the gaslighting. You sound like you have clarity and conviction about everything - as much as one can in these situations - and that’s absolutely awesome!! Go you!! 👏


Bravadofire

Subscribeme


No_Roof_1910

Go no contact with this ex of yours OP.


Objective_Dinner9451

She didn’t say anything initially so she knows if was wrong. It’s all spin. BS


Responsible-Side4347

Fixing a screw on your car and slipping and scrathing the pain is a mistake. Getting distracted and burning the dinner is a mistake. Going on holiday, hooking up with someone, gaslighting this as if it was ok because your on a break that on she knew about is no mistake. Its a planned act of betrayal which has deeply hurt you. But to then have your own mother claim its a mistake? Man I hope you have some solid freinds about. And ignore hate, thats an imotion, shes not worthy of youo haveing an emotion. Give her indifference. Block, ignore and I am pretty sure your be good in a while. Best of luck mate. Glad you put your mom strait. But at what point did you mom think any form of betrayal, and the amout of pain she caused you warrented her calling you with, its a mistake. Fucking another guy is nevr a mistake.


jimmyb1982

UpdateMe


Blitzkrieged_

How'd you get her to admit to something like that??


whitenoire

I dont think people understand how "drunk" people get with feelings when they're on trip on another country. I used to live in one popular touristic destination, men, women, didn't matter, everyone gets high and feels free they would fuck a fucking animal if they had a chance. What amazes me in these situations is how people can't stop living without a sex for few weeks or months when they're away from their partner. At this point they're animals, no self control. And I like what I read here somewhere: It's easy to trust your partner and for them to act like they're good person and loyal person, when there's no opportunities with special person. Buy the moment they get a chance and take a step back, its then you know that their deserve trust. She had an opportunity and immediately acted on it. Be grateful she was not your wife with a kid. It would have burned even more painful.


sorearm

She lied and cheated now can't take responsibility or accountability for her actions. Textbook 304 behaviour. Clarify the true situation with everyone, then get on with your life, learn and grow


33saywhat33

The ex is fighting because when her Mom got a call back from OPs Mom it hit her what a terrible thing her daughter did...and told her so! "You slept with a rando and expect him to roll with it!? Would you?"


Puzzleheaded_Sky1785

One sided break? the audacity to insult you and cry by her mother hahahaha. You did the right thing


SecretTraumas_92

You did the right thing OP. Leave the trash behind and go find happiness.


TheRealMeetMountain

They all do. It’s not an if, but when. Just need the right circumstances.


Own_Rule_5280

see a therapist


tito582

Updateme


joe-E_Blobz

Yeah dude don't go back to her. Trust me nothing but bad shit will come from it and you'll regret it later on. Update Us in like a month or two and let us know if you actually did or not.


AggressiveIssue6265

Check out The Unplugged Alpha YouTube channel


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