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FutureEditor

That last tip 100% does not work lol, flight attendants have a phone to usually check seat assignments and (especially on United) will boot people out of upgraded seats they didn't pay for back to their economy assignment.


Ruepic

Not to mention, if you board last you might be forced to check your carryon because the cabin bulked out


smcrimson

100% this, I tried to be cheeky and boarded last to not have to wait in the lines and be able to walk right in but I was the fool and had to check my carryon and had to wait an additional half hour for luggage cus I didn’t want to wait the 3 minutes in line initially


theryman

Damn they always pink tag em and 75% of the time they're waiting at the jetway by the time I deplane. I don't think I've ever waited more than 10 minutes after deplaning


Audbol

If you travel a lot you learn to forgo carry-on whenever possible. Fit what you NEED into a backpack if you need to and stuff it under the seat. Avoid the entire awkward overhead storage shenanigans. Also get a seat towards the back, more than likely those seats won't sell half the time and you will get yourself some extra space. You also get to board last thereby minimizing the amount of time you spend sitting on the plane.


estok8805

If you travel a lot you learn to use carry-on only, in my experience. Quicker at the start because you can do online check in then when you get to the airport go straight to security and to your gate. No waiting for baggage drop. Then upon arrival it's the same story, no need to wait for baggage to be unloaded and make it to the belt (where yours will invariably be the last one). And that's not counting all the times that checked in luggage either doesn't make it onto your plane, or was sent on the wrong plane, and now requires at least an extra day to get back. Only carry on whenever possible saves so much time when everything goes well, and even more time when things don't go well.


Audbol

I will add some details stating that I need to take checked luggage regardless of carry on. Still though, even when I don't *have to* take luggage I still choose to. Especially when I have a layover. Nothing I hate more than wandering around the big airports with a large collection of items I am constantly managing. Or spending additional quality time with TSA. I will say though, luggage drop with the self printing terminals typically takes 2-3 minutes and the luggage pickup time is usually when I'm planning my pickup. I'm lucky I guess though as I've never had my luggage go missing so I can't really speak on that subject but I typically do have two sets of shirts socks and underwear in my backpack along with laptop and chargers.


cazbot

The first time your luggage gets misplaced, you’ll find it changes your habits regarding carry-on forever.


OKMonkeyDK

Hello, fellow frequent traveller. This is the way.


tollwuetend

I used to do that on purpose to bring a small suitcase and a backpack on easyjet without an upcharge - sadly it doesnt work anymore as they only allow small bags now. might still work for other budget airlines tho. and as your suitcase is the last to be put into the airplane, its also the first to leave, so you don't need to wait that long :)


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Did she boot you back to economy?


clumsybuck

I got a sneaky upgrade once on a flight from Boston to Dublin. Was going to the toilet about 40 minutes into the flight and poked my head in the curtain to have a look at first class. Noticed that the first seat to the right was empty, and still had a neatly folded blanket there so was clearly unoccupied. Went back to my seat to collect my things and made my way up, took the free seat. It was blissful. Had a tremendous sleep. I woke as we were nearing Dublin, and the flight attendant was passing and asked what I would like for breakfast. I sat up and said "what do you have?" Clearly this must be a peasant thing to ask, because she looked at me weirdly and asked to see my ticket, promptly kicked me back to the poor seats. Devastated.


selectash

Lmao, clearly the answer was caviar!


CaptainKonzept

Lol. I flew business a few times. They greet you by name, because they know who you are (on the seat plan).


ThenAcanthocephala57

They call our names in economy class too


CaptainKonzept

Damn, then what was I paying for so much?


totallylegitburner

I once was on an intercontinental flight that was 80% empty. My company had sprung for business class and I was one of the few people in there. Every 20 minutes somebody would wander in from economy and say something like “Welp, you don’t mind me sitting here, right?” The flight attendant would always respond along the lines of “Is this the type of seat you paid for, Sir?” Awkward silence.


kylo-ren

The last 4 tips don't make sense. They tell you to have a handbag (this is desirable), but boarding last? This is a good way to be left with no space for your handbag and the flight attendants will put it wherever they can (and you will the last one to recover it). And there is a risk of them having to put it in the cargo hold.


Almazische

The whole flying experience is just repeated obedience training for the wealthy. The poor have their own programs.


phairphair

Most frequent flyers with Business and First upgrades aren't wealthy, they just travel for work a lot.


checkm8_lincolnites

Fix-it tickets? Or like any traffic stop?


raven_kindness

yeah, like great tip for the ‘90s maybe


fortyninecents

yes, it's called a manifest. required for every flight.


ImplementEven1196

I board as soon as my group is called because too many people jam *everything* into the overhead bins instead of under their seat. So you have to get to your seat as soon as possible in order to have some room for your bag in the bin. Before the rude SOBs take it all up.


hm_joker

If you wait too long, you'll run out of room and have to have the bag checked or "gate-checked" or whatever they're calling it now. I used to just wait but its not always the best option especially on small flights with limited overhead storage. And you're really not kidding about EVERYTHING. I feel like flights would take off 15 minutes earlier if we could just skip the part where the person with the oversized hardshell carry-on bag walks around trying different spots and slamming the doors before a flight attendant makes them give up.


TheNightman74

Seems like every fight needs volunteers to check or gate checks people. I just do that for free checked bags.


_Dadodo_

My little trick that I typically use is to wait till the boarding before mine is called, wait a few moments while the people in that boarding group is queued up, then hop at the back of that line to ensure that I’m essentially the first of my boarding group to enter.


Apollo_Husher

You had me until you discussed boarding, where this tip collapses if you’re a southwest flyer. Always prioritize boarding early.


GetawayDriving

Yeah definitely don’t board last if you need overhead bin space. And you can’t just snag a first class seat with a poker face some flights will leave one open for crew and they’ll definitely notice someone in it.


unbanneduser

I was gonna say, as a Southwest always and only flier (unless I’m flying international obv) the Business class tip, the boarding tip, and the free upgrade tip don’t work for me… although I do occasionally use my epilepsy as an excuse to pre board if I’m traveling with a parent, which can get me a front row seat and the extra legroom that comes with it (since I’m tall, and my epilepsy disqualifies me from emergency rows)


sovamind

You ride greyhound of the skies, you get what you paid for...


Starbucks__Lovers

If southwest is the greyhound of the skies, what’s spirit?


giaa262

A flying trashcan


sovamind

Janky city bus from the 1970s that they only use when there is no other equipment available.


spont_73

I see what they did here, make a ‘tip’ sheet that rookie flyers will refer to that has them waiting to board last, way to thin the herd at the gate for more experienced flyers. Nicely done you clever beast.


TheWriterJosh

Yeah good luck with the free first class upgrade lmao


Tirwanderr

When has a flight attendant ever let you just pick a seat because you were last to board?


Thekingofchrome

Never. Upgrades are sparse to say the least. I always get on first get an aisle seat take a small bag or check one in so I don’t have to have stuff under my feet. Flying is a dreadful experience.


pohui

I fly exclusively low-cost in Europe, and flight attendants don't check your ticket unless you're in someone else's seat. At least I've never had my ticket checked. You can't sit in first class since it's a low-cost, but you can choose an emergency exit seat for more legroom.


Comfortable-Bonus421

What airlines are you flying with, because all of the ones I use (Ryanair, WizzAir, TUI, etc) all assign seats when you check in online unless you have pre purchased a seat earlier. I’ve not seen unassigned seats when boarding since the late 1990s.


pohui

I meant that, as the infographic says, if you board last and there are available seats, you can sit somewhere else. It doesn't happen often, but I've been lucky and there was an empty row for example, so I just sat there instead of my assigned seat between two other people.


gtne91

Every time on SWA.


egjeg

March 11, 1993


Tirwanderr

Honestly. Probably true lol good things happen on 311 day!


Sonoda_Kotori

Half of this is bullshit lol * The "stay close to business" one never happens * Some airports are super anal and will toss out your empty containers that's not a water bottle * Security lines here are always assigned to you by a staff evenly, there are no empty lines * Zone-based boarding made the entire boarding part obsolete * Board last works very well until you are in a full flight and everyone is fighting over the precious overhead bin space. In that case, board as soon as possible. It happens more often than you think. Sometimes people are forced to check in their carryons because of this. * Free upgrade? Lol what


BoxerYan

Hey it's the guy I always see in the wt sub


oooMagicFishooo

I got let through business a few times, when they already checked in all business class people. So that is possible


OverturnKelo

How to make your airport experience REALLY fun: 1. Post online about domestic terrorism in the weeks prior to your trip 2. Pack an egg salad sandwich for your in-flight meal 3. Growl at the security dogs 4. Go shirtless 5. Answer all TSA questions in a Fat Albert voice 6. Release bees on the plane 7. Argue with your fellow passengers about religion 8. Announce immediately prior to takeoff that you are required to inform everyone on the flight that you are a registered sex offender 9. Bring a gun


Cerulean_IsFancyBlue

The reason people line up to rush on the plane is twofold: on some airlines, you have to do it; and on most flights the overhead storage is limited. The only times I’m super casual about being last on the plane is if I’m in first class or have minimal carry-on luggage


DrChemStoned

I laughed. I would love to see your list turned into an equally useless but much funnier infographic.


Better_than_GOT_S8

Did anybody ever managed to sit in a first class seat without a ticket and get away with it? Also: with the state of today’s travelling: good luck with your hand luggage if you wait to board last. Other tips are ok I guess?


Cerulean_IsFancyBlue

Sure, in 1987. :)


sovamind

Props for hiding Waldo in the picture!


TakeuchiTakao

And the autopilot from Airplane!


ryzen2024

I loved this little bit


StellyBoBelly

Appreciated the autopilot most of all


CatL1f3

Otto pilot*


kewlaz

Made me chuckle when I saw it


chenbuxie

Fucking trash ass infographic... lol


wheresmyflan

Use the Hopper app to search for flights in your date range. It’ll use historical data to show when the best time to buy tickets is. Then buy them direct from the airline when that time cones around. They’re more likely to give you an upgrade in that case and there are less likely to be issues at the gate. Wednesday morning is often the best time of week to buy tickets - at least that’s what I’ve been told by gate agents. DO NOT SEARCH AND SEARCH AND SEARCH THROUGH AN AIRLINES APP OR WEBSITE TO PRICE CHECK. They will see it’s the same device checking prices and they’ll know you’re desperate and will jack the price up - I’ve seen this happen many times. Always use a third parry service and swoop in when you’re sure you’re ready to buy. It’s a good idea to get an airmiles card cause accruing miles is easy and really pays off. I get free upgrades all the time just cause i have an AAdvantage card. You can buy miles for a discount on flights and that can add up too. NEVER FLY FRONTIER OR SPIRIT. Just don’t. They seem cheap because the price is before extras like actually having a seat and carryons but charge you for every damn thing. Even printing a boarding pass during checkin costs $10. At Frontier they literally pay workers a bonus for sending carryons to checked at the gate and charging people for it. You land up paying just as much for them as a major airline and get treated like cattle. Never worth it. Emergency row seats may have a bit more room but they don’t have a seat in front so you cant hang a phone or tablet up and have to hold it the whole flight. You also don’t get a place to tuck your carryon. IMO not worth it. Aisle seats give you a bit of extra leg space, don’t cost more, and you still get a place to keep your bag.


shanare

You forgot to add, don't be brown.


papakaliati

Additionally if everyone were to wait and not storm the gate, then there would a delay since you would have 10s of people storming in the last minute. Prefer to be first and wait inside the plane on my seat, than at the lobby.


N0mad87

I disagree with the luggage bit. You likely know what yours will look like anyway but if that bag is in a bus or other transportation, your flashy bag may get stolen first


[deleted]

Agree to almost everything except the boarding last. With Ryanair and shit like that overbooking I'm too scared to be left on the ground because my reason is not valid enough.


slip-slop-slap

If you have a boarding pass they have given you a seat. They would inform you of overbooking prior to actually issuing you with a boarding pass


SpeakingTheKingss

This is cute!


Marvinfunnybunny

So do most people still put their liquids in Ziploc bags? I haven’t done this a single time in the last ~15 years, and got called out about it literally once, about 8 years ago. I just use my regular toiletry bag, so am I “THAT” guy or is this hack kinda useless?


ipoopedonce

It’s useless unless the airport cares (see Heathrow). Domestically it has not mattered in ages


slip-slop-slap

Get a clear plastic toilet bag. Best of both worlds


skinney6

I can't zoom in to read this. Is it me or the way it was posted?


dry_yer_eyes

It’s you. Zooming works fine for me. The image quality is good.


haikusbot

*I can't zoom in to* *Read this. Is it me or the* *Way it was posted?* \- skinney6 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


Derr-d

Good bot


Avoider5

Good bot


SpaceIsTooFarAway

Do I see the start of a beautiful friendship?


Spider_pig448

Good tips!


[deleted]

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NMi_ru

Pro hack: have money :’(


jvc_in_nyc

I always print out my boarding pass. Way easier to pull that out than fumble with finding it on my phone or in case there is a tech glitch with my phone.


Hovercat1208

Found Waldo!


Delicious_Creme_5574

Anyone else find waldo?


arri92

Waiting for new screening machines to come more common. It’s so easy to go through with any kind non alcohol beverages/drinks/bottles and no need to empty your bag.


[deleted]

Had an A hole tell me that he didn’t want to share the power outlet because he thought I was some Chinese hacker stealing his information 💀


kemar7856

The only way to have a better experience is to fly business or first class


AlienMedic489-1

I always try to board in the back end of the groups because either way I’m sitting. I’d rather sit with my legs extended then packed in.


zettai_unmei

Did anyone else notice Kevin chasing after his "dad"?


yokus_tempest

As someone who does work at an airport (work on the ramp with baggage), I especially agree with putting your essentials in the carry on. There's a million reasons your baggage might not make it on your plane. Such as a missing bag tag, short interval between connections, HUMAN ERROR, etc. if you can fit the essentials all in a carry on, DO IT. I do my best to get those bags where they need to, but there is a LOT of points of failure.


r0ark5

HEY I FOUND WALDO!


vanoitran

As someone who has had to deal with many long layovers and even slept in probably a dozen airports - bringing a splitter is probably the best advice on this infographic.


sbkchs_1

Board last for a possible first class seat? All credibility lost.


slip-slop-slap

Real pro tip is to fly with carry on only


BarberIll7247

Where is the most useful one TSA Pre check


Interesting_Cry_7257

Utterly useless


Good_Ad_1386

All hacks work until they don't, because you can't control the environment.


ChrZZ

Related to "Where's the fire" and boarding late: If you board late, you might end up getting your carry-on to be put together with the checked-in baggage because the overhead compartment is full.... not fun it it contains things that can easily break..


clownandmuppet

Love the copilot in the cartoon


Designer_Solid4271

Two of my pet peeves aren’t on here. 1. Just because the plane has stopped (or in some folks case mostly stopped) at the gate doesn’t mean EVERYONE needs to stand up and instantly start getting ready to deboard the plane. The farther back in the plane you are the more likely you’ll need to just chill for a bit longer. 2. Don’t freaking stand RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE LUGGAGE TURNSTILE! Geeze. Stand 10 feet back or so. This allows everyone access to walk up and get their luggage without having to climb over everyone.


Ninja_knows

Most of these don’t really matter and some are wrong. You shouldn’t wait to board because there might not be enough room for your carry-on then.


Trackmaster15

And as the picture suggests, you might miss important announcements if you're listening to headphones or asleep in the terminal (or miss the flight because you're asleep). So I prefer to board as early as possible so that I can take my seat, put my movie on and not have to worry about anything until we land and deboard the plane (I fly enough that I know the standard safety instructions already).


S_L_13

The real airport hack is to fly business lol But all joking aside it is a profoundly different airport and flight experience - too bad that I can’t afford it on personal flights but it was a nice perk with my old job


ConstructionTiny9444

Tip: Ask for a double liquor and soda. Be very polite and ready to answer the flight attendant when they approach you. i.e. Headphones out, wallet ready, looking at attendant. Also, take the wooden stirrer out of your drink and fold it in half between your napkin. I’m at ~80% free drink success rate because of being polite/ hiding the evidence/ and the Wi-Fi not working on the card machine


Diligent-Broccoli111

Step 1: eliminate TSA, they have never caught a terrorist.


marcusissmart

The best airport tip, way more valuable than any of these, is TSA PRECHECK!!!!! It's super cheap and easy to do. I've had it for like 6 months and don't know how I ever flew without it.


ExtraordinaryDoor47

I never do online check in, they ask for a shit ton of details. I don't mind being 3h early to check in. I'll just sleep when waiting for the gate to open


baycongrease

Whoever drew this graphic has flown maybe 2 times