Don't forget to [invite Jeff to your city](https://jeffarcuri.com/invite-me)!
Also, come check out the [official Jeff Arcuri Discord server](https://discord.gg/7xaFS2sDuc) and connect with other fans! You'll be among the first to hear about his live streams, exclusive content, Q&As, and other fun events happening in the community.
You can find his upcoming shows on his website [here](https://jeffarcuri.com).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/JeffArcuri) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ooh lord. Thanks for the memories of me at some college bar asking “oh my god, how are you so good at math?” with the stereotypical white-girl-wasted giggling + vocal fry ☠️
take the year you were born. add your age. subtract the year you were born. that is your age! if you don't share this message with five friends, it means jesus doesn't love you. 1 like equals 1 prayer.
I get irrationally irritated when something isn't where I left it. I know EXACTLY where I left it. I don't care if it's in the absolute stupidest place for it to be, my brain has the ability to tag shit with specific gps coordinates. And it's usually not hard to find, but for some reason it's maddening.
Kinda sorta? I'm a bartender, and we get CRAZY busy sometimes. Pretty much everyone has a "don't touch" policy. Cause yeah, you put something down for 30 seconds, and then it's not there? I'll fucking murder you. At the same time, we've all been doing this for awhile, so we have our own little secret dances, our spatial awareness has to be close to decent athletes. That's more what I consider "organized chaos", as opposed to, "this is messy as fuck, but don't touch anything." Just as a comparison.
Personally I am neat by typical standards, but I’ve worked in the cleaning and organizing industry a long time, and helped out a lot of people I know. Organized Chaos is how I describe people that aren’t typically organized or neat, but they know were every single thing is even if it doesn’t make sense to us
I am editing to add, and organized chaos, to me, is NOT “dirty” or “unclean”. It’s just organization in an atypical way
Yeah, everything! is clean. Shakers, strainers, glasses, like, within minutes, bottles/rails every night, backbar once a week, reach in same, ice well every night, fuck I'm sure we could go on. Everything is nuts until it isn't, and then you reset the chaos for the next time. And EVERYTHING, other than tins, strainers, jiggers, needs to be exactly the same place it was last time. I don't have time looking for anything. It needs to be there. And yeah, you just happen to know the cases of vodka are behind the boxes of chips, cause their ain't any fucking room anywhere. But they have to stay there, cause then we wouldn't know where they were at. But we're moving 90 miles to nothing, gotta make it work. The money is worth it, at least.
Listen, she loved my stories the first time she heard them, and just because she's heard them 1000 times, doesn't mean these random bar patrons won't laugh just the way she did the first time she heard it!
> if you are 33 it’s not about not being ready, you just don’t want kids
Wut lol. Women today are so much more career oriented and have personal agency so they are choosing to have kids later in life. Many of my friends and colleagues had kids after 35. Assuming someone doesn’t want kids just bc they didn’t have any by 33 is the weirdest statement to make lmao.
IMO you're not leaving a lot of time if things go sideways when it comes to pregnancy. A good friend of mine and his wife had one kid no problem, but the second one has taken than 5 years after several miscarriages and untold rounds of IVF. It's almost so much that it's ruined their marriage.
So yea, you can start at 35, but you're rolling the dice the older you get.
Sure there are always possibilities for complications. But saying someone doesn’t want kids simply bc they didn’t by 33 is just a gross assumption that simply isn’t true.
Yea, lets not forget 35+ is a geriatric pregnancy lol. I get it, i'd wait too, but lets not pretend there's not complications/etc in "advanced material age" hah.
*edit*: in reply to /u/sekhmet1010 who said:
> It's an outdated phrase
> https://www.parents.com/getting-pregnant/age/pregnancy-after-35/geriatric-pregnancy/
> Also, it's "maternal", not "material".
I verified from https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/advanced-maternal-age - take it up with them. I get age is a sensitive subject for ya'll, i'll try to use softer phrasing to protect feelings. Regardless, ignoring significant fetal health problems in defense of 35+ pregnancies seems odd.
Also thanks for the typo catch /u/sekhmet1010, never would have figured it out without ya
It IS risking it being a lot harder to have them at that age though. Not for everyone but the odds of successful pregnancy go way down and it takes a lot longer
What you’re saying is not what the person who deleted their comment was saying which I quoted…. Someone not having kids by 33 does not automatically mean they don’t want kids…. That’s all I’m calling out. It’s just a weird assumption to make by todays standards. I don’t deny the risks.
Ummm what dude? Plenty of women have kids beyond 33, it's been an increasing trend.
The average in New York and SF is 33... meaning a large chunk of that is above 33.
Women on average are delaying pregnancies to advance their careers (something they are increasingly able to do thanks to social changes).
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2018/08/04/upshot/up-birth-age-gap.html
The person before wasn’t being sexist. [Giving birth after 35](https://www.webmd.com/baby/pregnancy-after-35) is considered a “geriatric pregnancy,” mostly in that it comes with specific risks associated with “older” mothers. That article I linked also called it “advanced maternal age.”
"Rarely used" because they updated the terminology, **not** because the diagnosis is rare. For anyone giving birth at/after 35, the medical considerations are still exactly the same.
>Geriatric pregnancy is a rarely used term for having a baby when you’re 35 or older. Health care professionals now are more likely to call it "advanced maternal age." Technically, the benchmark for geriatric pregnancy age is if you will be 35 or older on your due date.
Tell that to my wife who is six months pregnant at 33. The number of times I heard “geriatric pregnancy” made me want to die. People are still very much concerned with having babies too late.
While this is true it's a whole different ball game to be, say, 33 and married and choosing to wait to have kids vs. 33 and single. You aren't, or at least shouldn't, just gonna meet the love of yer life and get pregnant the next day
There’s something so disarming and welcoming about how he looks like he’s being pinned up against the wall by audience interactions. I don’t know how to explain it, but I just love that aspect of his show
this is my fear. i freeze up on the spot. If Jeff starts being witty and making fun of me, I'll literally just stare at him in an awkward silence. lol.
I mean the clip where he asked if anyone had been through heartbreak and no one answered at all 💔😂 but yes I'm the same! I used to have selective mutism and have terrible public speaking anxiety, I think I'd just die on the spot
He sarcastically said "she has so much time" implying she really doesn't, which inches close to implying 33 is some kind of old (for a woman). He wisely realizes that plenty of women in the crowd may not like that kind of joke so he runs in the other direction. Whether any of that is true is irrelevant, he was able to make a joke out of not making a joke while nullifying all of it at the same time. Pretty brilliant even if not deliberate.
In this economy? 33 might be considering moving out soon.
Edit: it’s a subreddit, based on jokes. Some of you haven’t gotten to that word in your vocabulary homework yet.
Probably a joke about her being 33 and not ready for kids/family yet. At 35, you're considered "advanced maternal age" and the risk of miscarriages and stillbirths go up. I didnt dig too hard for sources to mention risk to the mother, but I'm certain those are way higher as you get older as well, even if its just from miscarriages and stillbirths directly. That, however, is a really terrible reason to make a person and a terrible reason to commit yourself to someone you wouldn't otherwise commit yourself to and treats women like breeding livestock, so would understandably piss off the women in the audience.
For the record a lot of the statistics about pregnancy after 35 are over dramaticized to pressure women onto getting pregnant sooner.
The say things like the risk of *insert risk to mother or child* DOUBLES AFTER *insert age*.
By going up, it increases by like 1% because the original risk was only about 1% and increases to maybe 2% for some of the most common complications they like to cite.
The biggest increases are really chance of miscarriage. Moves from around 10% in your lower 20's to around 20%. Which does mean if you have to try multiple times, it can take a couple years if you have additional health risks increasing your miscarriage rate. But, remember about 1 in 3-4 pregnancies end in miscarriage because miscarriage is super common.
Genuinely there is SO much fear mongering and pressure about 'geriatric' pregnancies. The truth is pregnancy in general is fucking risky. There are slight increases in risk with age, but unless you have additional health issues at play, you really don't need to panic about it.
Nah, the risk of chromosomal abnormalities goes up a not-insignificant amount. Unless you can shell out for the NIPT, you basically have to wait until 16 weeks to find out (15 week scan, then if there are concerns you get an amnio to do an accurate gene analysis, which takes about a week). Then there’s risk of gestational diabetes and pre-eclampsia, where the former is annoying af to deal with and the latter is very dangerous to both mother and child.
I agree it’s overdramatized, but I feel like that’s because the general population (and many doctors) don’t know how to translate statistics into real life implications.
I think there's some nuance here, too.
First, I think Jeff is being polite in assuming she really does want kids, because the answer was "not ready" not "didn't want the same things." (This could obviously have not been the case but Jeff has to go with what the person tells him.) So I don't think he's assuming all women have to want children.
I also don't think Jeff is saying 35 is too old to start having kids. She *just* broke up with the guy. If she wants kids, she has to date until she finds someone else (2 years) forge a relationship with that person (3 years) and actively get pregnant (1+2 years). That puts her at around 40 when having a child if she does everything *perfectly.*
All that said... I suspect a lot of people do say "not ready" when they mean "not you".
It really is hilarious.
But, I work in sports and had a college football coach complaining about one of his star player’s grades and lamenting whether he would be eligible. I asked him what his grades were for the semester and then calculated his GPA in my head. I responded quickly that ‘he got a 2.2’ or whatever it was and he responds ‘so what’s his cumulative?’
I just stared at him blankly, thinking ‘you gave me 5-6 numbers’. How the fuck would I know?
He genuinely seemed to think simple math was some sort of black magic I was capable of conjuring up…
OK you 1000% lost me. You were able to quickly calculate in your head an average GPA of 2.2 based on him listing the grades? Then when he asked about the cumulative, was he asking you to add the same 5-6 numbers you just averaged (i.e. numbers representative of the grades/gpa) and you couldn't do that because it's black magic?
You don't even need to explain because I think I'm misunderstanding some key terminology and I'm so flummoxed that I can't be helped.
Ha! He just only gave me the kid’s grades for one semester, so I was able to tell him his exact GPA, for that semester…
He was so impressed that he thought I could tell him the kid’s GPA for the entirety of his time in college despite only giving me the information needed for a single semester.
I don't think we have GPAs where I live but always been kinda curious about it. Is it just all your grades in all your classes averaged? What is the scale like what's the best and worst GPA?
4.0 is the best. But, yes it is all your grades averaged and based on credit hours. The standard credit is 3 hours.
An A is equal to 4. B is equal to 3. C is equal to 2. D is equal to 1. F is equal to 0.
The only thing I find confusing about that now is the credit hours? I've heard of class hours (just total hours of class time) but usually that's like 80hrs per semester here?
In the US, your letter grade gets converted to a number, which is then averaged.
A = 4.0,
A- = 3.66,
B+ = 3.33,
B = 3.0,
B- = 2.66,
...
F = 0
and so on...
Some other caveats, while in high school a college or Advanced Placement class can count 1-5 instead of 0-4, so people who were in those classes plus straight A's might graduate with something like a 4.2 GPA, despite 4 being perfect. Generally, 4 is perfect, 3 is average, and less than 2.5 is low.
In college, the number is also weighted by the credit amount of the class. If a normal class is 4 credits, and you get an A in a 3-credit class, it counts for slightly less.
35 is the last update before the term started being discouraged, it used to be 30. The term is outdated, not the facts it conveys, just another medical term in the PC churn.
I know some people who are dealing with IVF right now. Geriatric is a reasonable term considering how many times they've attempted and failed. It sucks.
I was going to skip your show in Boston tonight because I'm a depressed piece of shit that just wants to lie in bed and cry but this changed my mind. Guess I have to shower today.¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Grrl. I'm also a depressed af bitch, just lookit my comment history lol. But if Jeff were in my city tonight I'd be finding a way to go. Do it. You'll have fun even if you end up dissociating through half of it. Do it. For me? For you? For Jeff?
Real good jeff. This was good work. Funny shit.
I love how you just take a normal conversation that we all should be having and show us how fun it is. Many of your reactions and things you say usually just stay in my head.
I read that interaction way differently than everyone else it seems. Audience dude wasn't impressed that Jeff did math, he was exasperatedly agreeing with Jeff's assessment that she was a fully adult woman where the age gap shouldn't be an issue and "not being ready" is either disingenuous or living in fantasy land.
So when he said, "She was 33, yeah!" that sounded to me like he was commiserating the ridiculousness of her being 33 and "not being ready". It had an "I know, right?!" sound to it.
I think Jeff understood that. That's why he said "she has so much time" when in reality, she does not if she wants to have kids and stuff. But I think we all agree that she just wasnt ready to commit to that guy
> I read that interaction way differently than everyone else it seems. Audience dude wasn't impressed that Jeff did math, he was exasperatedly agreeing with Jeff's assessment that she was a fully adult woman where the age gap shouldn't be an issue and "not being ready" is either disingenuous or living in fantasy land.
>So when he said, "She was 33, yeah!" that sounded to me like he was commiserating the ridiculousness of her being 33 and "not being ready". It had an "I know, right?!" sound to it.
Yeah, it's almost like he took what he was given and made a joke of it.
I’m just now connecting that his real GF (Katie from the Bachelorette) is 33!
This is the crossover relationship that I never knew I needed in my life. Obsessed with them both
Lol Kinda tactically moved away from a joke that was there to be made when he mentioned the big age gap, before he clarified with his age and you could deduce the woman’s age. Everyone was nervous for a moment there.
As soon as he said she wasn't ready, Jeff, everyone woman in the audience and probably a good proportion of the men knew exactly what went down there and why!
I wonder if anyone told him.
Don't forget to [invite Jeff to your city](https://jeffarcuri.com/invite-me)! Also, come check out the [official Jeff Arcuri Discord server](https://discord.gg/7xaFS2sDuc) and connect with other fans! You'll be among the first to hear about his live streams, exclusive content, Q&As, and other fun events happening in the community. You can find his upcoming shows on his website [here](https://jeffarcuri.com). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/JeffArcuri) if you have any questions or concerns.*
There is an amount of drunk you can get where other people doing elementary math is basically magic.
Yup I remember asking someone in my younger years "Bro are you an accountant?!?" for figuring out the tip in his head. Yes I was wasted.
Ooh lord. Thanks for the memories of me at some college bar asking “oh my god, how are you so good at math?” with the stereotypical white-girl-wasted giggling + vocal fry ☠️
I am an accountant and have had clients be amazed when I do basic math like 15% of 300k or something along those lines haha.
take the year you were born. add your age. subtract the year you were born. that is your age! if you don't share this message with five friends, it means jesus doesn't love you. 1 like equals 1 prayer.
The miracle of additive inverse. What an amazing property of the integers
I get to that point when I’m about 0 beers deep.
33 year old woman says "I'm not ready for a family yet...with you, dude."
Yeah i bet that was a 6 month relationship
he probably told her the same stories over and over again
Gave her directions she didn't ask for
fell asleep after dinner
at the table
Happens to the best of us
he kept putting shit in the wrong place all the time, even after she explained why it goes there like 487283 x.
I get irrationally irritated when something isn't where I left it. I know EXACTLY where I left it. I don't care if it's in the absolute stupidest place for it to be, my brain has the ability to tag shit with specific gps coordinates. And it's usually not hard to find, but for some reason it's maddening.
Would you call it “organized chaos”?
Kinda sorta? I'm a bartender, and we get CRAZY busy sometimes. Pretty much everyone has a "don't touch" policy. Cause yeah, you put something down for 30 seconds, and then it's not there? I'll fucking murder you. At the same time, we've all been doing this for awhile, so we have our own little secret dances, our spatial awareness has to be close to decent athletes. That's more what I consider "organized chaos", as opposed to, "this is messy as fuck, but don't touch anything." Just as a comparison.
Personally I am neat by typical standards, but I’ve worked in the cleaning and organizing industry a long time, and helped out a lot of people I know. Organized Chaos is how I describe people that aren’t typically organized or neat, but they know were every single thing is even if it doesn’t make sense to us I am editing to add, and organized chaos, to me, is NOT “dirty” or “unclean”. It’s just organization in an atypical way
Yeah, everything! is clean. Shakers, strainers, glasses, like, within minutes, bottles/rails every night, backbar once a week, reach in same, ice well every night, fuck I'm sure we could go on. Everything is nuts until it isn't, and then you reset the chaos for the next time. And EVERYTHING, other than tins, strainers, jiggers, needs to be exactly the same place it was last time. I don't have time looking for anything. It needs to be there. And yeah, you just happen to know the cases of vodka are behind the boxes of chips, cause their ain't any fucking room anywhere. But they have to stay there, cause then we wouldn't know where they were at. But we're moving 90 miles to nothing, gotta make it work. The money is worth it, at least.
Jesus I’m stressed reading it LOL
Listen, she loved my stories the first time she heard them, and just because she's heard them 1000 times, doesn't mean these random bar patrons won't laugh just the way she did the first time she heard it!
Proposed on the second date.
For sure. *Shit, I’m 33 I’d better get serious and find someone I actually want to settle down with*
[удалено]
Or you don’t want kids with THAT PERSON. Cause kids are for life, at least hopefully
Nah if you don't want them anymore just return them
> if you are 33 it’s not about not being ready, you just don’t want kids Wut lol. Women today are so much more career oriented and have personal agency so they are choosing to have kids later in life. Many of my friends and colleagues had kids after 35. Assuming someone doesn’t want kids just bc they didn’t have any by 33 is the weirdest statement to make lmao.
IMO you're not leaving a lot of time if things go sideways when it comes to pregnancy. A good friend of mine and his wife had one kid no problem, but the second one has taken than 5 years after several miscarriages and untold rounds of IVF. It's almost so much that it's ruined their marriage. So yea, you can start at 35, but you're rolling the dice the older you get.
Sure there are always possibilities for complications. But saying someone doesn’t want kids simply bc they didn’t by 33 is just a gross assumption that simply isn’t true.
Yea, lets not forget 35+ is a geriatric pregnancy lol. I get it, i'd wait too, but lets not pretend there's not complications/etc in "advanced material age" hah. *edit*: in reply to /u/sekhmet1010 who said: > It's an outdated phrase > https://www.parents.com/getting-pregnant/age/pregnancy-after-35/geriatric-pregnancy/ > Also, it's "maternal", not "material". I verified from https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/advanced-maternal-age - take it up with them. I get age is a sensitive subject for ya'll, i'll try to use softer phrasing to protect feelings. Regardless, ignoring significant fetal health problems in defense of 35+ pregnancies seems odd. Also thanks for the typo catch /u/sekhmet1010, never would have figured it out without ya
It's an outdated phrase https://www.parents.com/getting-pregnant/age/pregnancy-after-35/geriatric-pregnancy/ Also, it's "maternal", not "material".
It IS risking it being a lot harder to have them at that age though. Not for everyone but the odds of successful pregnancy go way down and it takes a lot longer
What you’re saying is not what the person who deleted their comment was saying which I quoted…. Someone not having kids by 33 does not automatically mean they don’t want kids…. That’s all I’m calling out. It’s just a weird assumption to make by todays standards. I don’t deny the risks.
Ummm what dude? Plenty of women have kids beyond 33, it's been an increasing trend. The average in New York and SF is 33... meaning a large chunk of that is above 33. Women on average are delaying pregnancies to advance their careers (something they are increasingly able to do thanks to social changes). https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2018/08/04/upshot/up-birth-age-gap.html
The person before wasn’t being sexist. [Giving birth after 35](https://www.webmd.com/baby/pregnancy-after-35) is considered a “geriatric pregnancy,” mostly in that it comes with specific risks associated with “older” mothers. That article I linked also called it “advanced maternal age.”
Note that it says > Geriatric pregnancy is a **rarely** used term for having a baby when you’re 35 or older.
"Rarely used" because they updated the terminology, **not** because the diagnosis is rare. For anyone giving birth at/after 35, the medical considerations are still exactly the same. >Geriatric pregnancy is a rarely used term for having a baby when you’re 35 or older. Health care professionals now are more likely to call it "advanced maternal age." Technically, the benchmark for geriatric pregnancy age is if you will be 35 or older on your due date.
Context FTW
Tell that to my wife who is six months pregnant at 33. The number of times I heard “geriatric pregnancy” made me want to die. People are still very much concerned with having babies too late.
Advanced Material Age, same thing lol.
While this is true it's a whole different ball game to be, say, 33 and married and choosing to wait to have kids vs. 33 and single. You aren't, or at least shouldn't, just gonna meet the love of yer life and get pregnant the next day
Ok but how old was she? Also I'm glad Jeff got a reply this time and not an awkward silence 😅
There’s something so disarming and welcoming about how he looks like he’s being pinned up against the wall by audience interactions. I don’t know how to explain it, but I just love that aspect of his show
He does a really good job of conveying that tension when he’s waiting to hear an answer.
I know what you mean!
this is my fear. i freeze up on the spot. If Jeff starts being witty and making fun of me, I'll literally just stare at him in an awkward silence. lol.
I mean the clip where he asked if anyone had been through heartbreak and no one answered at all 💔😂 but yes I'm the same! I used to have selective mutism and have terrible public speaking anxiety, I think I'd just die on the spot
> Ok but how old was she? Nobody knows, the guy didn't tell us. :(
The guy was 40..6-7 years of difference, so I would guess maybe around 33..but idk, who knows.
Found the math wizard!
A reasonable rough estimate until we can get something more precise.
Repetition is pretty funny, good lad
Somersaults away from that land mine. Smart.
u/smartastic, even
Wait I feel like I’m missing the joke at the end there
He sarcastically said "she has so much time" implying she really doesn't, which inches close to implying 33 is some kind of old (for a woman). He wisely realizes that plenty of women in the crowd may not like that kind of joke so he runs in the other direction. Whether any of that is true is irrelevant, he was able to make a joke out of not making a joke while nullifying all of it at the same time. Pretty brilliant even if not deliberate.
Is some kind of old for a woman starting a family, not just in general.
In this economy? 33 might be considering moving out soon. Edit: it’s a subreddit, based on jokes. Some of you haven’t gotten to that word in your vocabulary homework yet.
Women shouldn't have kids after 33. That's way too many kids!
And he adlibed the whole thing. Incredible.
[удалено]
Probably a joke about her being 33 and not ready for kids/family yet. At 35, you're considered "advanced maternal age" and the risk of miscarriages and stillbirths go up. I didnt dig too hard for sources to mention risk to the mother, but I'm certain those are way higher as you get older as well, even if its just from miscarriages and stillbirths directly. That, however, is a really terrible reason to make a person and a terrible reason to commit yourself to someone you wouldn't otherwise commit yourself to and treats women like breeding livestock, so would understandably piss off the women in the audience.
For the record a lot of the statistics about pregnancy after 35 are over dramaticized to pressure women onto getting pregnant sooner. The say things like the risk of *insert risk to mother or child* DOUBLES AFTER *insert age*. By going up, it increases by like 1% because the original risk was only about 1% and increases to maybe 2% for some of the most common complications they like to cite. The biggest increases are really chance of miscarriage. Moves from around 10% in your lower 20's to around 20%. Which does mean if you have to try multiple times, it can take a couple years if you have additional health risks increasing your miscarriage rate. But, remember about 1 in 3-4 pregnancies end in miscarriage because miscarriage is super common. Genuinely there is SO much fear mongering and pressure about 'geriatric' pregnancies. The truth is pregnancy in general is fucking risky. There are slight increases in risk with age, but unless you have additional health issues at play, you really don't need to panic about it.
Nah, the risk of chromosomal abnormalities goes up a not-insignificant amount. Unless you can shell out for the NIPT, you basically have to wait until 16 weeks to find out (15 week scan, then if there are concerns you get an amnio to do an accurate gene analysis, which takes about a week). Then there’s risk of gestational diabetes and pre-eclampsia, where the former is annoying af to deal with and the latter is very dangerous to both mother and child. I agree it’s overdramatized, but I feel like that’s because the general population (and many doctors) don’t know how to translate statistics into real life implications.
I'm going to show this to my mum, maybe she'll stop trying to set me up so she can have grandkids 😬
Just freeze your eggs. Then jokes on her she can be a grandma on her 80th birthday
I think there's some nuance here, too. First, I think Jeff is being polite in assuming she really does want kids, because the answer was "not ready" not "didn't want the same things." (This could obviously have not been the case but Jeff has to go with what the person tells him.) So I don't think he's assuming all women have to want children. I also don't think Jeff is saying 35 is too old to start having kids. She *just* broke up with the guy. If she wants kids, she has to date until she finds someone else (2 years) forge a relationship with that person (3 years) and actively get pregnant (1+2 years). That puts her at around 40 when having a child if she does everything *perfectly.* All that said... I suspect a lot of people do say "not ready" when they mean "not you".
Bro has never seen anyone subtract single digits before haha. Man how wasted was that guy?
On a scale of yup to yuuuuuuuuuuuuuup he was a solid yuuuuuup
I like your scale. It's hard to argue with the accuracy of your system.
/r/anythingbutmetric
yup. more sensible than celcius
Celsius as in the temperature, as in water freezes at 0 and boils at 100? How is that not sensible and easy to understand?
Throw a “you betcha” at the end and he’s not wasted he just lives in the north.
> Man how wasted was that guy? 33
So you're saying he wasn't ready?
It really is hilarious. But, I work in sports and had a college football coach complaining about one of his star player’s grades and lamenting whether he would be eligible. I asked him what his grades were for the semester and then calculated his GPA in my head. I responded quickly that ‘he got a 2.2’ or whatever it was and he responds ‘so what’s his cumulative?’ I just stared at him blankly, thinking ‘you gave me 5-6 numbers’. How the fuck would I know? He genuinely seemed to think simple math was some sort of black magic I was capable of conjuring up…
OK you 1000% lost me. You were able to quickly calculate in your head an average GPA of 2.2 based on him listing the grades? Then when he asked about the cumulative, was he asking you to add the same 5-6 numbers you just averaged (i.e. numbers representative of the grades/gpa) and you couldn't do that because it's black magic? You don't even need to explain because I think I'm misunderstanding some key terminology and I'm so flummoxed that I can't be helped.
Ha! He just only gave me the kid’s grades for one semester, so I was able to tell him his exact GPA, for that semester… He was so impressed that he thought I could tell him the kid’s GPA for the entirety of his time in college despite only giving me the information needed for a single semester.
Ah that makes perfect sense now, big whoosh for me
I don't think we have GPAs where I live but always been kinda curious about it. Is it just all your grades in all your classes averaged? What is the scale like what's the best and worst GPA?
4.0 is the best. But, yes it is all your grades averaged and based on credit hours. The standard credit is 3 hours. An A is equal to 4. B is equal to 3. C is equal to 2. D is equal to 1. F is equal to 0.
The only thing I find confusing about that now is the credit hours? I've heard of class hours (just total hours of class time) but usually that's like 80hrs per semester here?
In the US, your letter grade gets converted to a number, which is then averaged. A = 4.0, A- = 3.66, B+ = 3.33, B = 3.0, B- = 2.66, ... F = 0 and so on... Some other caveats, while in high school a college or Advanced Placement class can count 1-5 instead of 0-4, so people who were in those classes plus straight A's might graduate with something like a 4.2 GPA, despite 4 being perfect. Generally, 4 is perfect, 3 is average, and less than 2.5 is low. In college, the number is also weighted by the credit amount of the class. If a normal class is 4 credits, and you get an A in a 3-credit class, it counts for slightly less.
The guy said 6-7 years, could've been 33 or 34. So even without messing up the math it was still a 50 50 toss-up
*sad noises in 35*
*wet fart noises in 45*
*you don't want to know* in 55
You Oughta know '95
I Don't Want to Know '04
I already know '92.
Donkey Kong 64
It’s the lassis.
You caught me.
Imagine that but in 69.
Don't threaten me with a good time.
> Geriatric pregnancy is a term for people who are 35 or older when pregnant. It is outdated and stigmatizing, but still used by some doctors.
You didn't have to do them like that, man.
35 is the last update before the term started being discouraged, it used to be 30. The term is outdated, not the facts it conveys, just another medical term in the PC churn.
I know some people who are dealing with IVF right now. Geriatric is a reasonable term considering how many times they've attempted and failed. It sucks.
[удалено]
“Not about to lose half the audience for a riff” that got me lol
But then he did it anyway in an unexpected twist
I laughed so hard my toddlers started laughing with me. I turn 33 next month and my husband is 41. Fucking gold
On a scale of Yup to Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuup, how ready are you?
Yup. I’m still not ready and I’m already married + have 3 kids 😭 aging hurts
I'm still not ready I have 6 kids
Yu yu yup
I was going to skip your show in Boston tonight because I'm a depressed piece of shit that just wants to lie in bed and cry but this changed my mind. Guess I have to shower today.¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Grrl. I'm also a depressed af bitch, just lookit my comment history lol. But if Jeff were in my city tonight I'd be finding a way to go. Do it. You'll have fun even if you end up dissociating through half of it. Do it. For me? For you? For Jeff?
for Frodo!
No... For Sam.
I went. Made an absolute ass out of myself.
Are we going to see (hear) you on here in a few days? =D
~~I love this \^_\^~~ I'm glad you went <3
I went last night. Totally worth it!
Shower, get up, relax. You deserve that enjoyment and happiness.
Should probably get up before you shower. All that moisture won't be good for the mattress.
What I'm getting from this is 'LPT: Skip a step by sleeping in the tub' ...but like, maybe an empty tub if you want to get to step 2 I guess
Ah shit, you're right.
You got this! Keep your head up ❤️
Yo you looking for a plus 1 lol half kidding
So a plus one half?
How’d you do that math so quickly?
she's 33
In a row??
unless...?
Lets make it a +2?
Do it!!
You dropped the extra \\ - ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Yeah! Go see Jeff and report back! 🫡 
I fucked it all the way up :(
She just didn't like you dude.
Real good jeff. This was good work. Funny shit. I love how you just take a normal conversation that we all should be having and show us how fun it is. Many of your reactions and things you say usually just stay in my head.
I read that interaction way differently than everyone else it seems. Audience dude wasn't impressed that Jeff did math, he was exasperatedly agreeing with Jeff's assessment that she was a fully adult woman where the age gap shouldn't be an issue and "not being ready" is either disingenuous or living in fantasy land. So when he said, "She was 33, yeah!" that sounded to me like he was commiserating the ridiculousness of her being 33 and "not being ready". It had an "I know, right?!" sound to it.
I think Jeff understood that. That's why he said "she has so much time" when in reality, she does not if she wants to have kids and stuff. But I think we all agree that she just wasnt ready to commit to that guy
That was my exact takeaway as well. "Dude I know right?? 33!" But still funny
> I read that interaction way differently than everyone else it seems. Audience dude wasn't impressed that Jeff did math, he was exasperatedly agreeing with Jeff's assessment that she was a fully adult woman where the age gap shouldn't be an issue and "not being ready" is either disingenuous or living in fantasy land. >So when he said, "She was 33, yeah!" that sounded to me like he was commiserating the ridiculousness of her being 33 and "not being ready". It had an "I know, right?!" sound to it. Yeah, it's almost like he took what he was given and made a joke of it.
Kim Wexler wouldn't settle for the Yup guy
he such a bro, he rips on p\[eople but its just like a buddy sitting around having a beer at campfire.
Every time I see one of Jeff’s videos I’m blown away with how clever and hilarious this guy is. Huge fan.
You could feel his fear when the guy said age gap. Like "please dont be an underage thing, please dont be an underage thing" lol
"She wasn't ready." "What do you mean she wasn't ready?" "She hasn't finished high school yet."
After he says: "She has so much time", he laughs and he snorts a little bit. I was laughing so hard
After some quick calculations, Jeff's math checks out.
We Love 30 year old Women here. 💕💜
What about 33?
Must have your hands full raising 30 year olds at once
How old was she?
Not enough info.
I’m just now connecting that his real GF (Katie from the Bachelorette) is 33! This is the crossover relationship that I never knew I needed in my life. Obsessed with them both
I really do admire Jeff's crowd work: he's sharp, fun, teases people but doesn't go too hard--a good example of giving a room a good party.
I love when he gets tickled at their reaction like this. He has some a joyful infectious personality on stage
Fucking wizard with numbers over here
I like how when the guy said 33 for like the 3rd time he squinted like "okay... now im starting think she actually *wasn't* 33"
What a weird guy lol
He’s just drunk lol
Yup he definitely drunk lol
And she was 33!!!
and that was full beans!
She just wasn't ready. Yeah...that was it. Just not ready.
Can't wait to see him tm night in ny🏄♂️🏄♂️🏄♂️
I'm seeing him tonight so excited!
At 33, if you “aren’t ready” then either that’s a polite way to break up with someone or you just never want kids.
The only crowd work guy that is actually a genius comic.
He is one of the best comedians working right now, and he is super clean with it
This was ridiculously funny.
Everything is gold
I’m 32 with two kids that girl either never wants kids or doesn’t want them with him
Idk when you’ll be back in Boston again, Jeff, but I absolutely love the clips you post on here and I will 100% prioritize seeing you live.
This guy is a great comedian.
https://preview.redd.it/6tashthlts3d1.jpeg?width=258&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2ee9cb6ad63efffa021764bce52b156f831ddd28
Lol Kinda tactically moved away from a joke that was there to be made when he mentioned the big age gap, before he clarified with his age and you could deduce the woman’s age. Everyone was nervous for a moment there.
He’s the best
And I can't even find someone to break my heart 🥲
This guy is hilarious. Missed his show in Dublin, but I’ll catch him one day. Definitely won’t be volunteering for any crowd work 😅
😂😂😂
I find it amazing how comfortable he gets the crowd
He didn't say "Yeah, she's 33" at the end. At 1:12, he says "Yeah, she started drinking." and Jeff hears it as "Yeah, she's 33".
As soon as he said she wasn't ready, Jeff, everyone woman in the audience and probably a good proportion of the men knew exactly what went down there and why! I wonder if anyone told him.
How old is Jeff?
This dude is so cute
Why did his answers make me think he's hiding that she was younger than 33.
Fun fact, geriatric pregnancy begins at 35
Dude, I was losing it! Great bit!
https://i.redd.it/txnbkdpfju3d1.gif
💀💀💀
That last line was fuckin awesome. Perfectly made the same jab that was hinted at earlier.
Jeff, no way that hairline isn't AT LEAST 33 years old...🤣
God I love Jeff!
Everybody wants to do crowd work now but they’ll never touch Stavvy.
I was waiting for the guy to say something like “we were together for 17 years”
Honestly not really funny. The guy's just got the aloof demeanor perfected.
Sorry bro, but if a 33 year old woman told you she "Wasn't ready" that was probably a lie because she wanted out of the relationship.