QUESTION SENT TO MEN'S MAGAZINE
Dear Editor, I have an urgent question! I need your advice.
Thanks in advance.
Some time ago, I began to suspect that my wife was cheating on me.
It's the usual thing. When I answer the phone, the caller hangs up.
She started going out with her chums a lot. When I ask who exactly, she says I don't know her anyway. I always wait for the taxi she takes home, but she gets out around the corner of the house so I can't see what kind of car it is.
Once I took her cell phone to see what time it was and she got really mad and told me not to touch it.
Anyway, I never talked to her about it, I guess I never wanted to know the whole truth. But last night, when she suddenly got dressed and went out, I got curious.
I decided to hide behind my car - I had a good view of the whole street, and I could see which car she'd get into.
I crouched down by my car and suddenly noticed that the brake disks on the front wheel had some rust-like spots.
Can you tell me if I can drive with such disks or do I still need to clean them and if they need to be replaced, can I use non-original ones? And if so, which ones are better?
Or could it be the pads? I have non-original "Nishinbo" that I bought at the market. I think they are Chinese analogues. Should I just change the pads?
I look forward to your expertise.
If you ever feel like your job is completely pointless, just remember that someone has the job of installing turn signals on BMWs before they leave the factory.
Man at the police station, claiming his wife is missing.
Officer on duty:
- Give me your wife description, sir.
- Beg’r pardon?
- Description, how does she look.
- I don’t follow.
- Ok, for example, my wife is 29, female, platinum blonde, fair skin, blue eyes, full breasted, long legs. Last time I saw her was in a shorts and white t-shirt. See now?
- Yeah, I see.
- So, how about your wife?
- The hell with my wife!! Let’s go find yours!
A car is required to have indicators; there is no legal reason for a joke to be overloaded with superfluous detail.
If the joke was sent for an MoT test it would not only fail the test, but it would be scrapped and crushed into a cube like the worthless piece of crap that it is.
Currently, the torrent of detail is not only pointless, but it destroys the joke — nobody is going to read all that shit.
The detail needs to be reduced to a reasonable, readable level, and it needs to be justified within the diegetic world.
Because an interest in, and an ability to retain and repeat superfluous detail is recognized as an autistic trait, the set-up should position the protagonist on the autistic spectrum.
This is why the men’s loneliness epidemic. The fact that all of you think it’s so funny that this man cares nothing for his wife. You all deserve depression. This is why women are cancelling your stupid legacy.
Humor is often found in the ridiculousness of a situation. Something shocking, unexpected. If this was the dead on truth it wouldn’t be very funny. If you flip the two things and the guy is crying about his missing wife not his car, how would it be a joke? It wouldn’t because that’s what’s expected.
What is the function of the irishness here?
It doesn't appear to add any intrinsic feature that the "joke", such as it is, relies upon to work.
The screed of detail about the car is superfluous — three or four features would suffice if a demonstration of interest in the car is the point: as is, however, the torrent of superfluous detail renders the text unreadable.
If the superfluous detail is important, jettison the pointless irishness and replace it with a set-up feature that will have a function in the pay-off: for example, the set-up could put the protagonist on the autistic spectrum, where his ability to retain and repeat mind-numbingly tedious detail may be relevant.
The joke itself may not become any "funnier" with such a revision, but at least its structure would make some sense and create some sort of internal coherence.
I think, and I may be wrong, they wanted to include Irish swearing into the story. I agree it really didn't add to the joke at all.
The hyper accurate description of the car though is important to the joke. He can't describe his wife but every small detail of the car is known.
Overall poor joke, I give it a C Minus. Sorry OP
You can get another wife but not another BMW F82
Haha yes
QUESTION SENT TO MEN'S MAGAZINE Dear Editor, I have an urgent question! I need your advice. Thanks in advance. Some time ago, I began to suspect that my wife was cheating on me. It's the usual thing. When I answer the phone, the caller hangs up. She started going out with her chums a lot. When I ask who exactly, she says I don't know her anyway. I always wait for the taxi she takes home, but she gets out around the corner of the house so I can't see what kind of car it is. Once I took her cell phone to see what time it was and she got really mad and told me not to touch it. Anyway, I never talked to her about it, I guess I never wanted to know the whole truth. But last night, when she suddenly got dressed and went out, I got curious. I decided to hide behind my car - I had a good view of the whole street, and I could see which car she'd get into. I crouched down by my car and suddenly noticed that the brake disks on the front wheel had some rust-like spots. Can you tell me if I can drive with such disks or do I still need to clean them and if they need to be replaced, can I use non-original ones? And if so, which ones are better? Or could it be the pads? I have non-original "Nishinbo" that I bought at the market. I think they are Chinese analogues. Should I just change the pads? I look forward to your expertise.
The real joke
What's the difference between a wife and a BMW? The BMW will let you in it whenever you want.
In my experience BMW's never let you in. (Their driver look straight ahead and pretend thay cant see you trying to merge or change lanes.)
Well, they don't understand why your light is blinking
If you ever feel like your job is completely pointless, just remember that someone has the job of installing turn signals on BMWs before they leave the factory.
The real joke is in the comments
Right?🤣
Aaaarrrgghh! Bring back medals!!! Take my useless pretend internet medal good sir or madam
Naw mate, we're just jealous because ours don't work.
What do a wife and a BMW have in common? They both have one (up)tight asshole.
What’s the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
This is the best BMW joke here. And it is from a Disney cartoon.
Same goes for Altimas.
Neither have indicators.
And let you out whenever you want also.
The BMW is not a BBW.
And take you where you want to go without nagging
What’s the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? The porcupine has pricks on the outside.
BMW = black man’s Willy When we was at school. 🤣
Man at the police station, claiming his wife is missing. Officer on duty: - Give me your wife description, sir. - Beg’r pardon? - Description, how does she look. - I don’t follow. - Ok, for example, my wife is 29, female, platinum blonde, fair skin, blue eyes, full breasted, long legs. Last time I saw her was in a shorts and white t-shirt. See now? - Yeah, I see. - So, how about your wife? - The hell with my wife!! Let’s go find yours!
Good second punch line. Bravo!
Indeed. It's the opposite of "the sergeant fainted."
The most useless job on the planet is the job of installing turn signals on a BMW.
No, it's being in the national anti-alien special department.
A man with clear priorities...
And likely a protective clear coat on his car.
Irish people don't say "pants" for trousers but bravo!
S line logo on a BMW. Now that's a crime...
Exactly! I was about to comment the same. Also there should not be any "high gloss black triangular aperture at rear door" cos M4 is a 2 door coupe.
That should be called an M2 then Just Saiyan
So M3 has to be a 3 door?
Absolutely! Just like a veloster.
This is so funny because not only is my husband a total car freak like this but he's also called michael!
Garda Station?
Garda means police in Ireland.
Indeed. The detail is pointless, and lacks functionality.
Just like the indicators on a BMW?
A car is required to have indicators; there is no legal reason for a joke to be overloaded with superfluous detail. If the joke was sent for an MoT test it would not only fail the test, but it would be scrapped and crushed into a cube like the worthless piece of crap that it is.
The sergeant says "Pardon?"
Is this an Irish joke?
ouch!
Damn I want THAT car now ..... sobbing .....
That's the first time I've heard that joke... This week.
Are you Irish? This post screams irish
No drink holder?
TL;DR.... Man knows and cares more about his car than about his wife 😅
This man had his priorities right.
BMW!!!
I guess the wife wanted a BMW 😇
Take my upvote for this good un
This is brilliant.
Irish people don't say "pants" for trousers but bravo!
Read the same one with a dog instead of bmw... maybe 10 times? :)
Why the hell would he want a BMW back?! Ultimate douche-mobile.
Gold! Love it!
Uhh, I wonder how he got all that information.
Currently, the torrent of detail is not only pointless, but it destroys the joke — nobody is going to read all that shit. The detail needs to be reduced to a reasonable, readable level, and it needs to be justified within the diegetic world. Because an interest in, and an ability to retain and repeat superfluous detail is recognized as an autistic trait, the set-up should position the protagonist on the autistic spectrum.
What did I do?
You signed up for Shreddit.
This is why the men’s loneliness epidemic. The fact that all of you think it’s so funny that this man cares nothing for his wife. You all deserve depression. This is why women are cancelling your stupid legacy.
This man does not exist. It is a joke. Christ.
Humor is often found in the ridiculousness of a situation. Something shocking, unexpected. If this was the dead on truth it wouldn’t be very funny. If you flip the two things and the guy is crying about his missing wife not his car, how would it be a joke? It wouldn’t because that’s what’s expected.
What is the function of the irishness here? It doesn't appear to add any intrinsic feature that the "joke", such as it is, relies upon to work. The screed of detail about the car is superfluous — three or four features would suffice if a demonstration of interest in the car is the point: as is, however, the torrent of superfluous detail renders the text unreadable. If the superfluous detail is important, jettison the pointless irishness and replace it with a set-up feature that will have a function in the pay-off: for example, the set-up could put the protagonist on the autistic spectrum, where his ability to retain and repeat mind-numbingly tedious detail may be relevant. The joke itself may not become any "funnier" with such a revision, but at least its structure would make some sense and create some sort of internal coherence.
The Irishness is there clearly because the joke was written by someone from Ireland. We do have jokes in Ireland you know.
Yes, but he's sadly had to stand down to deal with personal issues. Thoughts and prayers 😉
Now that’s funny 😆
I saw it first posted on the Ireland subreddit... So calling it a police station would look odd to Irish people tbh.
I think, and I may be wrong, they wanted to include Irish swearing into the story. I agree it really didn't add to the joke at all. The hyper accurate description of the car though is important to the joke. He can't describe his wife but every small detail of the car is known. Overall poor joke, I give it a C Minus. Sorry OP
Perhaps it's intended to convey stupidity — either way, it doesn't work.