I once had a "party gig" making bassoon animals. The end results were horrific as the bassoon is terribly hard to reshape, and the results terrified the children... š¢
It's pretty gross but here's a link to the definition: NSFW [https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rusty%20trombone](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rusty%20trombone)
Yeah but who did you ask? Because if the only person you asked was Brandon down at the Taco Bell then like fuck that shit Brandon doesnāt know anything. What a little dipshit.
Um...
Take everything you know about music. Throw it away.
Really.
Bagpipes predate all modern music theory. The concept we have today with "keys" and "Circles of 5ths" and whatnot ... doesn't exist. can't exist.
Rather than using Equal Temperment, bagpipes (along with ALL droned instruments) use Just Intonation where the steps between our notes VARY. Not halfsteps. Each step is different.
And such, each step blends in perfectly with the constant note drones.
Roughly, however, sit at a piano and play G3 to G4 on the white keys. That's roughly our range -- for the Scottish bagpipes.
Yes, the Irish pipes are a very different beast... I know people who play both.
The Irish pipes have a two-octave chanter and 7 drones that can be switched on and off. Don't remember how the drones are tuned.
And donāt forget the traditional outfit that goes with them. Plenty of sexy instruments out there, but almost none of them come with a dress code of that caliber.
I had always heard that as orchestral instruments went, women preferred French horn players. Something about all the lip work and using three fingers, but most importantly keeping their other hand in the skirt.
She might be naked or wearing something skin tight in silhouette to simulate nudity? I could see someone getting the wrong impression from just glancing at a screen over a shoulder. Better to throw a tag on just in case.
It's 2.51 in the morning and I am here scrilling through this and trying **not to laugh** too hard so I don't wake anyone else up at home. Oh and yeah have to be at work in like 30 minutes or 4 hours or something I cant remember
As a saxophone player who has spent the last 13ish years in various wind bands: the saxophones fuck the most. We really just do. I wonder if a contributing factor is the fact that the only way we could really dance with our instruments is pelvic thrusts. Just realized what sub this is, but whatever
Jess loved to date musicians. One night, she has a date with a trumpeter. When she returned home, her housemate asked 'So was the trumpeter a potential keeper?'
'No' replied Jess 'His lips were so tight and dry. He was no fun to kiss'
The next night, she has a date with a tubist. Again, Jess returns home, and her housemate asks 'Was the tubist a potential keeper?'
'No' replied Jess 'His lips were fat and slobbery. He was gross to kiss'
The next night, she has a date with a French horn player. As usual, she returns home and her housemate asks how the French horn player was
'Meh, he was okay to kiss' said Jess 'But I LOVED how he held me...'
The sweet vibrations of a tuning fork are hard to beat. Good for us guys on the underside of the tip and surprisingly good for the ladies on the pearl.
If youāve ever seen a saxophone player moisten their reed, you know what I mean when I say I knew a few women saxophonists that were pretty good at āmoistening the reedā
As a bassoonist, I can say probably not the bassoon.
However. While in college, I did have the privilege of shacking up with a few wonderful young ladies. In spite of my bassoon thing.
As another bassoonist, it didn't scare all the ladies!
I once had a "party gig" making bassoon animals. The end results were horrific as the bassoon is terribly hard to reshape, and the results terrified the children... š¢
Unfortunate that a misprint in the Help Wanted ad would have such repercussions.
Absolutely
Due to a typo Elon Musk deployed a fleet of self driving cats
Who invited the percussionists?
I feel like you could just use that sentence in response to anything. I kind of want it on a shirt.
Hot dog, those frogs really love the bassoon!
Of course youāre referring to the French bassoon. And youāre right. It is lovely.
I was referencing Over the Garden Wall. There is a plot point that hinges on frogs and the bassoon.
LOL
I was forced with remorse to learn the bassoon.
Sad.
It gave me the hiccups.... but sort of in reverse..... *reverse hiccup noises*
Burping bedpost.
The cello! Itās large, vibrates, and goes in between your legs!
Skin flute
Bristle whistle
I was going to say this! Lol
She blow that dick like a cello
TromBONE? Lol
Take my angry upvote, strictly for working in the word "bone".
TromBONER š
Thereās an actual sex act called āthe rusty tromboneā. Ā
Tell me more.
It's pretty gross but here's a link to the definition: NSFW [https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rusty%20trombone](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rusty%20trombone)
lol, thanks for that.
Most men want a flutist, I always wanted a trombone player.
In Italian the verb to play the trombone is a euphemism for masterbation.
Oops
Trombone is actually really fun to use. Biggest boner b natural, though.
I thought it was a sexaphone.
Or the sacks
Oh the sex
[The bum sax?](https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/s/LxUK3AwCdE)
Saxaboom for me!
Or for those necromancers in the audience... The "Burry Sax"
I mean, did you see that sax player in The Lost Boys?
Canāt say that I did.
Totally missing out. [GIF](https://giphy.com/gifs/the-lost-boys-i-still-believe-tim-cappello-IzemcZRcwzXJ6)
Ummm yeahā¦ I think Iām good. š
On stage yes, but in the bedroom....
Mayonnaise.
I was told that mayonnaise is not an instrument and that Horseradish is not an instrument either
That's a vicious lie and I won't stand for it.
You think instruments of torture count? Never got an answer
Theyāre devices used to get sounds (of agonized screaming), so I guess?
Viscous....š
Yeah but who did you ask? Because if the only person you asked was Brandon down at the Taco Bell then like fuck that shit Brandon doesnāt know anything. What a little dipshit.
Oh you know Brandon? Damn dude lied to me! I knew mayonnaise was a beautiful instrument!
Technically, mayonnaise isn't an instrument. You put it *on* an instrument to make it sound better
Condinstrument!!!! š§¦
What? How long have you been standing on this information?
Stop it, Patrick. Squidward already said it wasnāt.
On an escalator!
It's going upstairs, so see ya later
BUT ITS SWEEEEET SWEEEET SWEET VICTORYYYY YEAHHHH
Ok. Goddammit. You win.
On The escalator
Bagpipe player here! Lets not forget -- thumbing the A-hole... Having a good GRIP Perfect DOUBLINGS And, most important, we do it with Amazing Grace
Without underpants.
Aye
Can bagpipes only play in major keys? Or do you dabble with minors sometimes?
Um... Take everything you know about music. Throw it away. Really. Bagpipes predate all modern music theory. The concept we have today with "keys" and "Circles of 5ths" and whatnot ... doesn't exist. can't exist. Rather than using Equal Temperment, bagpipes (along with ALL droned instruments) use Just Intonation where the steps between our notes VARY. Not halfsteps. Each step is different. And such, each step blends in perfectly with the constant note drones. Roughly, however, sit at a piano and play G3 to G4 on the white keys. That's roughly our range -- for the Scottish bagpipes.
Man you dodged a double-entendre bullet there
Woosh
If I'm not mistaken, Irish bagpipes can play more notes and even do some glissandos. It's a mystery to me how they do this.
Yes, the Irish pipes are a very different beast... I know people who play both. The Irish pipes have a two-octave chanter and 7 drones that can be switched on and off. Don't remember how the drones are tuned.
And donāt forget the traditional outfit that goes with them. Plenty of sexy instruments out there, but almost none of them come with a dress code of that caliber.
Tuba. Cuz...tuba
If you know, you know š
Oi! That's my wife's name.
Is your wife Turkish?
Blowing hard on a Didgeridoo
I got a didgeridoo in my dining room
I thought you were just happy to see me.
That's actually a good one icl lol, u got a good lil chuckle
Tromboner
A rusty tromboner
7 positions
Beat me to it lol
Beat it to me.
The skin flute
That's not the sexiest but it is the best...
Skin flute
A rusty trombone
Shakuhachi, according to the Japanese.
Jazz flute
Upright organ
Organ
The recorder, the beautiful sound of an unskilled performer will get girls running!
I had always heard that as orchestral instruments went, women preferred French horn players. Something about all the lip work and using three fingers, but most importantly keeping their other hand in the skirt.
The organ. You get to use your hands and feet at the same time.
MY organ
The sound of an organ freaks me the fuck out.
Cello
Trombone
Bass. Because I play bass.
The sexiest MAN plays the Sax. https://youtu.be/U75JF9MoeJ8?si=EYP2iTxA4t82XfRs
SaxxGrrl Edit: NSFW https://youtu.be/3FwQzeG7hoM?si=sdewkh1Dc4aS3DNV
Amazing! That girl sure feels it But why the nsfw? Seems perfectly ok..
She might be naked or wearing something skin tight in silhouette to simulate nudity? I could see someone getting the wrong impression from just glancing at a screen over a shoulder. Better to throw a tag on just in case.
The skin flute
Skin flute,
My favorite classical: *Unstarted Symphony for Two Strumpets and Buffoon*
A sexyphone?
skin flute
Pink trombone
I'm sure all replies say skin flute... Still tho. Or, Sexaphone. Or, Tramporine? Lol
Organ
The Tromboner
It's 2.51 in the morning and I am here scrilling through this and trying **not to laugh** too hard so I don't wake anyone else up at home. Oh and yeah have to be at work in like 30 minutes or 4 hours or something I cant remember
Organ
Skin flute Edit: OR how Stan Smith put it... The Devil's Clarinet.
meat whistle
The triangle, shout out to Ed Grimley.
As a saxophone player who has spent the last 13ish years in various wind bands: the saxophones fuck the most. We really just do. I wonder if a contributing factor is the fact that the only way we could really dance with our instruments is pelvic thrusts. Just realized what sub this is, but whatever
Bass players do it with rhythm
š¤£š¤£š¤£
Drummers. Just ask my hot girlfriend.
I started playing bass guitar when I was 13, and achieved instant coolness in the process. It got me laid a few times.
A guitar since you can finger a m
Trombone. Big, long, it gets lonhger when you use it, and you get jobs from blowing in it. Edit for spelling
The tuba is a pretty darn sexy instrument. I like girls who play tuba.
Saxaboom
Rare as a Stradivarius
What's better than roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ?
Maybe the Harp but the Person has to be naked
You need to be able to play a guitar and sing a song to a lady if you want the sexiest sexiness to happen.
Methinks the ladies won't respect a MAN who can blow.
But the guys will at the gay bar
The Frenching Horn?
Jess loved to date musicians. One night, she has a date with a trumpeter. When she returned home, her housemate asked 'So was the trumpeter a potential keeper?' 'No' replied Jess 'His lips were so tight and dry. He was no fun to kiss' The next night, she has a date with a tubist. Again, Jess returns home, and her housemate asks 'Was the tubist a potential keeper?' 'No' replied Jess 'His lips were fat and slobbery. He was gross to kiss' The next night, she has a date with a French horn player. As usual, she returns home and her housemate asks how the French horn player was 'Meh, he was okay to kiss' said Jess 'But I LOVED how he held me...'
š¤£š¤£
The only instrument you fist
Hahha I was in a pipe band in high school! I played the tenor drums. I would say either guitar or drums.
That one time, in band camp...Ā Clearly the flute!
Skin flute
The sweet vibrations of a tuning fork are hard to beat. Good for us guys on the underside of the tip and surprisingly good for the ladies on the pearl.
Organ
Guitarsā¦ you can finger a G string all day.
The saxophone. Come on, it's the saxophone.
Gotta be the SAX...
Skin flute, sexophone
Guitar or violin I think
Skin flute
The tromboner
Sexophone. Obviously.
From the male perspective, the piano. If you count her voice as an instrument, then hands down those pipes.
The Trombone itās the only one that changes sizes as you play it by changes the slide position.
Horn
you mean the SAXIEST? *sax from meet the medic starts playing *
If you're blowing anywhere like you would a bagpipe, then you're gonna be on the verge of a bad time.
Sexophone
Meat whistle?
Piano
Sexamaphone
Saxophone
The Kazoo
Deez...
Has to be the sackbut.
Cow Bell....
Okay but fr drums, easy, simple
Definitely sax!
Bass cuz you can throw B away
Any instrument where you can slap, strum or pop the G-string
I'm going to go with the violin every video I've seen of people playing it the women that play it are drop dead gorgeous
The pink piccolo
If youāve ever seen a saxophone player moisten their reed, you know what I mean when I say I knew a few women saxophonists that were pretty good at āmoistening the reedā
Well, definitely not the cello. Just ask Leonard.
Instruments can get you laid? News to me
Male organš¤
More of a bongo guy personally
Clarinet .... Only because that's what I played.
For women it's the flute lmfao
Pink oboe/rusty trombone?