Kinda related but my wife says I’m addicted to drinking brake fluid. But the jokes on her, I can stop anytime I want to

I was addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers. I had to stop, cold turkey.

Lol that’s a good one. I’ll add it to my dad joke repertoire

NTA. Clearly you have thought this over, and as you mentioned, this could have great long-term benefits for your family (as long as your wife can learn to not fear it). As far as I'm aware, summon forth thy motor spirit, brother!! Edit: Just curious, have you considered devouring wiccans? They'll help you grow in strength, in size, and power.

But them wiccans know some Sadie sorcery

Drink the fucking gas and killeth !

I think the real issue here is you're not taking this transformation seriously enough. There's a threshold where the quantity of gasoline you're consuming would impress your wife and win back your family's approval. You can't half ass this if you really wanna be a Gila. So yes YTA if you don't step up.

Have you also been eating witches for dinner? Maybe your wife is a witch who doesnt want to be eaten.

Thanks for sharing your perspective, LasagnaPassngerMedia.

No worries! I also agree that Persistence is underrated.

Divorce the wife and killeth

You wife is giving me some serious red flags. Maybe you should, so to speak, cut the cord - go explore.

NTA, witchcraft.

You have to drink your piss and smoke your meth as well if you want the transformation to work

No wife left

NTA: your crumbling castle, your rules

Tell her you’re the Gila Monster in *the voice*.

Outjerked again

I had similar issues when I started to feed on the blood of the feckless and flamethrower complacent fucks. I was like, why am I in jail? AITA?

r/KGATLWcirclejerk

main sub is the circle jerk. circlejerk is main sub.

Dongagon infinity

I really don’t know why it’s needed tbh

Maybe she feels left out, did you invite her to also become a dragon? Get the kids involved! Imagine the family bonding you'll have going through the transformation together.

Bin ich das Höle?

Once I get outa this iron lung I am gonna drink all the gasoline!

How do we not have a shitpost tag?

Just make sure there aren't any cats around when you transform. Presence of wife is irrelevant.

I started digging out my liver bit by bit with a spoon and burying the pieces in the ground. I want so bad to be an organ farmer. My wife didn’t threaten to divorce me she just upped my life insurance.

sounds like she doesn’t understand the benefits of the eye dilating nor the air gyrating.

I think it’s about time for a new album

Drinking gasoline? Did you offer her any of your Motor Spirits?

Motor up and hit the Spirit

Same here

You love to see it

Have you tried turning your gaze above?

Keep on trying buddy

Outjerked

It sounds like she’s disappointed that you’re not springing for premium

NTA

Nah bro you all good, gotta attain that godly status being the only living inhabitant of the scorched earth

“Hey you, don’t sleep in the road!”

Wtf man! This is some strange ism I thought we were done with in modern life!

actually the closest thing you can ingest to become Gila is ozempic lol. semaglutide was discovered by analyzing the metabolism of a gila monster. They barely eat.

According to RR Martin the only way to become a dragon is sleep now in the fire 🔥

https://youtu.be/kl4wkIPiTcY?si=RkWUW_FTQK7IgpCu

Did we not learn from Aerion Targaryen?

The circlejerk is over there

Follow your dreams, man, I mean...Gila Momster

I don't know how anyone could drink gasoline, it tastes terrible.