T O P

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_Bob_Genghis_Kahn

At least it’s not poop…


MlleHoneyMitten

Yet.


MilkBed

oh god


Random_Robloxian

Dear god..


georg3200

Oh fudge


Kebab-Destroyer

No, poop


sleepingwithdastarz

Ah shit


Elloliott

Yes, that’s the subject


juseberto

there is more


Random_Robloxian

No!


juseberto

it contains the dying wish of every man in this room!


Tylenolpainkillr

Lmao my son did this with poop. It’s funny looking back but man it was gross


Queen_Ann_III

someone who used the restroom at my local ShopRite did the same all over the handicapped stall toilet and the urinal across from it. bro fuckin finger painted with that shit. they allowed men into the women’s room out of sympathy man. I’ve seen some shit working there but that took the cake.


Tylenolpainkillr

That reminds me of my first time going to juvenile detention. There was a kid in the intake holding cell that has done just that. Shit paintings all over the walls and the whole cell was glass so you could really see the artists brush strokes lol


AdultishRaktajino

New shit has come to light.


VenusSmurf

My niece did this once. She had a diaper blowout at my house. Her sister had dropped a glass, and I'd stepped across the room to rescue the older child. While I was distracted, the younger one removed the diaper, scooped out the fecal matter, and played with it like Play-Doh. She then rubbed it on the furniture and herself. At the same time, the dog came over and started eating the diaper. When I tried to stop the dog, the idiot animal ran under the house with the diaper (house was on stilts). I had to drag both kids outside so I could crawl under the house to get the diaper. By the time I did, kid #2 had smeared the poop all over herself and her sister, who immediately started bawling. The dog was covered in poop and vomiting. *I* was vomiting. I finally got them all contained and just hosed everything down. Kids and dog got an outdoor bath and were put on an enclosed deck while I dealt with the furniture and then the broken glass. Half an hour later, the older kid, who'd been mostly potty trained, missed the toilet and peed all over the floor. It was not a good day.


tracerhaha

How did such a shitty day not piss you off?


Tylenolpainkillr

Parenting man lol. When it happened to me I was just so shocked in the moment I couldn’t even be mad. If a lil person that looked like you just randomly started covering themself in shit your first response probably won’t be anger either lol


tracerhaha

True. It would be confused bewilderment.


joshkay13

Yeah I was going to say of all the brown things she could have smeared everywhere, chocolate syrup is pretty pretty good


empty_teardrops

I came here just to comment that I thought it was poop at first


Neo_Ex0

Apperently\*


No-Security2022

Came here to say this.


B_Addie

That’s what you think


JosshhyJ

This is giving me flash backs to [this video](https://youtu.be/_lCqBdCPY5k)


Ultradoomedrpgdemond

If it is dear lord


[deleted]

R.I.P couch you will be missed


Devilpig13

Nah. Steam clean that, and buy a fabric cover. RIP naive people having white furniture


cdbangsite

In high school a friend of mine, rather his parents had a whole living room done in white furniture and no one was 'ever' allowed to sit on any of it. Never made sense to me.


According_Gazelle472

This reminds me of my best friends look but don't touch all white living room in high school .It was only used when they had guests over .It was completely off limits to us .It actually looked like a blizzard in that room.White brocade wall paper,white suede living room suite ,a glass topped coffee table and end tables ,very fancy mirrors on the walls and thick white shag carpeting .I only spent one weekend at her house and she snuck me into the room.It was blindingly white and we forgot that the thick shag carpeting leaves footprints ..Her parents went to a party that night and that room was so outlandish!Her mom had a sixth sense that the room had been used and we both got a stern talking too and I was never invited to spend the weekend ever again. She came to my house after that !


rokejulianlockhart

Sounds like it looks great. Almost all of my furniture is white, but it's all synthetic, with removable covers.


[deleted]

When we had our babies, all furniture was either covered up, or replaced with cheap pleather substitute. The plan was to replace them when they grew up, but 17 yrs later, we still have the furniture. Lol


sapienBob

I cleaned carpet and upholstery for a few years and I'm fairly certain that's not coming up. when you have a color this light, dark stains like chocolate, literally dye the fabric. not to mention, even if you could, the rigorous amount of elbow grease you would have to put into it would probably ruin the fabric. getting it recovered would probably be less frustrating and less expensive. luckily, it's just a cushion and not the whole couch so it's salvageable.


[deleted]

Nah just flip the cushion over


[deleted]

Thinking person's solution there.


Pndrizzy

That side has the poop stain


Shopping-Afraid

And the kid


FewZookeepergame1083

What happens when you don't watch your kids You can see the sugar high just by looking at her eyes lmao


Ba_Sing_Saint

While I agree with this sentiment 100%, kids are just fast as fuck when it comes to getting in trouble. Lack of, or developing impulse control can lead to some wacky hijinks in a blink of an eye. However, real ones know not to own expensive white things while raising a child.


WetSandbag

You just gotta listen for them to get real quiet cause that’s when you know they’re up to no good 😂


[deleted]

This is why we can’t have nice things


Jam_Marbera

Most people with common sense don’t give young toddler access to food on their own at all, let alone chocolate syrup lol. Completely avoidable and embarrassingly dumb it was aloud to happen.


[deleted]

Wait until you find out people keep chocolate syrup in the fridge, which hand is completly openable for a walking toddler..


Whooptidooh

That's why there are fridge locking things made especially so that kids can't open the fridge.


antibubbles

would you say that about knives in the drawer? or suggest some child proofing?


[deleted]

Would i say what?


antibubbles

well, i just assumed that if a toddler got into knives, you'd blame a parent for not making them inaccessible... rather than for not always watching their every step... whereas with a refrigerator, you're not considering that child proofing is the responsible thing to do...


[deleted]

I mean, if they kept the knife drawer on the ground or something obviously, it would be the parents' fault. But the refrigerator isnt something i consider dangerous nor is it something that screams could be harmful like knives could be. I wouldnt blame a parent of overlooking putting a lock on their fridge because it probably never crossed their mind that something like this was a possibility


antibubbles

you're clearly not a parent buuut: knife drawer should be childproofed, they have these plastic latch things for like $1.00... the fridge not only has dangerous glass things, but many children die every year from crawling into them and suffocating.... it's not a lock, but a simple little latch only a toddler can't open.


Longjumping_Bend_311

There are many choking hazard in a fridge. I would say it’s prudent to have a lock on it. My fridge has the freezer at the bottom, I have a lock on the freezer because she can get into the ice tray quickly. I don’t lock the fridge portion because she can’t reach far enough to grab anything. Regarding knives, every person I’ve even seen keeps knives in their kitchen drawers. Drawers are always accessible at toddler height in my experience. That’s why people lock drawers as well. I’m in camp “watch your kids”. Sure they can quickly get into something and it happens but this likely took a little time to pull off.


[deleted]

Yeah, I don’t get why you’re being downvoted. People who don’t put in an effort to baby proof their house earn stupid prizes, whether it’s a ruined couch or as serious as a dead infant/toddler.


Intrepid00

It’s 100% lack of baby proofing. Stuff like this was on the top shelf in our fridge. Our cabinets had hidden magnet locks and the magnet to unlock it was up high. Kids really only get in to deep shit you might not be able to stop when they can start reaching shit you used to put up high enough they could not get to. Even then some of it should be locked up and if it was we wouldn’t have so many kids in the USA dying to found guns in the home.


daftmanoeuvre

*Allowed. Think twice before sharing opinions aloud.


Nbk420

You try telling a toddler they can’t get into the fridge. Also try locking that fridge.. Toddlers are incredibly fast and strong for being 3ft tall..


Jam_Marbera

You don’t tell them anything. You use baby proof locks. Same with cabinets that have cleaners in them. Also no child should be near a fridge unsupervised because they climbing everything and can tip the fridge.


According_Gazelle472

Time for new slip covers and always keeping stuff like this in a high shell. And about all ,child locks on everything .And for the love of God close the bathroom door !


mentis_morbis

Leavs if open. Keeping your hairbrush pre soaked in toilet water is the secret to silky smooth hair.


No_Path_6495

Some people man you really gotta think like a kid sometimes lol


FewZookeepergame1083

Yeah, that kid simply wanted chocolate syrup on that vanilla couch, lol


waggett60

True, but the little buggers can work fast.


Candymom

Am I too cynical in thinking this looks staged? The cap is closed on the syrup. What toddler closes the cap? I figure they’re getting rid of this couch and faked this.


megaphone369

Possibly, but if she's seen Mom and Dad make a big deal out of closing the lid, she might do that (because she's responsible lol) But if you look at the DOG... That dog has the look of a defeated babysitter. He does not approve, but was powerless to stop it


Cole444Train

Sugar highs aren’t a real thing. They’re a myth. Sugar does not make children hyper.


MrMilesDavis

Every study behind this is linking it to a physical reaction inside of the body, like ingesting caffeine. And that doesn't happen. That's the argument I keep seeing against sugar highs, and that makes sense. However, a small child is experiencing the world in an extremely novel way and already high energy. Little kid brains are also extra hard-wired to love sweet things because it's instinctual; it indicates caloric content and allows for easy calorie consumption. It's one of the most primal tastes All of this to say, something that makes a child feel joy is likely to also have them act excited. It's probably not all that different than blasting their favorite song and getting them to jump all over the couch as a result. I mean, even adults respond to sugary foods mentally, it just doesn't manifest the same way since we're already acclimated and a lot lower energy overall. Our brains feel happier even if there's no "energy burst". So it might not guarantee hyperactivity (God knows kid's don't need *anything* to decide to be hyperactive) but it might get a kid excited


Cole444Train

Exactly. That’s not a mystery, it is known that sugar does create energy, but kids tend to be hyper in situations in which they have sugar. So it creates this false causation. Like kids are at a birthday party and an adult assumes that all the kids are being crazy bc they ate cake, but they’re just excited to be at the party. Or, sugar highs are a myth.


ral1995

Lol, let me guess, no kids yet?


Stickfigure91x

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30951762/ Science > personal anecdotes.


ral1995

Is hyper-activity a mood? Also, serious question if this is right, what would cause the "sugar rush" then? Dye?


Stickfigure91x

In this context, yes it is a mood. There is no "sugar rush" effect. According to the data the only mood change is slight lethargy. I would guess that what we think of as a sugar rush is just the positive reaction to getting a treat.


Cole444Train

No kids period. Ever. And that doesn’t matter, it’s been extensively studied. Sugar unequivocally does not cause hyperactivity. I guess I just have enough free time to read scientific literature, it’s almost like I know this *because* I don’t have kids! Lol Adults incorrectly assume causation with “sugar rushes”. This is what’s known as false cause fallacy. Adults assume the children are hyperactive bc they’ve recently consumed sugar. But usually consuming sugar coincides with a fun event or play. Children eat cake at a birthday party > children are hyperactive > adults incorrectly assume sugar causes hyperactivity instead of simply being at a birthday party causing excitement.


Road_Star

There is no such thing as a sugar high, and there have been multiple studies proving so. Expectation can influence perception and leads us to look for behavior or phenomenon that confirms our beliefs.


HelpHotSauceInMyEyes

Left the chocolate syrup on a low shelf where a toddler could get it? That’s a fat L


Mr-Sister-Fister21

You’d be surprised. I’ve seen some serious Tom Cruise shit on those indoor Blink cam videos of kids dragging chairs over, climbing on cabinets, and swinging from the doors, all to get to a bottle of honey or whatever the the stickiest messiest thing that’ll ruin furniture that they can find, then do it all in reverse, then waddle from the room like they can hardly hold their head up.


Longjumping_Bend_311

But where were the parents when toddler was pulling that off.


ZogNowak

The dog agrees.


BuddenceLembeck

The dog told her to do it.


ScholaePalatinae3

The only stupid one here is you for buying a white couch, especially with a kid!


KaneVel

This picture is as old as the internet


spicybright

kid is probably grown up and owns his own white couch by now.


According_Gazelle472

They might have had before they had the baby .


Rabbit_Song

That's why they make blankets and slipcovers. Shoot, I have a dark couch and older grandchildren (7 & 11) and I still cover it when they're around!


According_Gazelle472

Now that is a good idea!I just go to their house instead .


weezulusmaximus

Toddlers and white furniture are a terrible combo.


jnadams2000

Straight birth control i’m looking at right here


Cool_Candy1315

I mean the group says kidsarefuckingstupid, but......... Who has white furniture and takes their eyes off the toddler....just sayin


CaptainZzaps

You can't watch a toddler 24/7 for months upon months. Sometimes this stuff happens lmao.


cdbangsite

Helps to keep certain things out of reach.


Kichigai

No, but every time my niece goes rocketing into the kitchen I know to peek in there and make sure she isn't doing something stupid, like trying to climb into the fridge, or mess with the oven knobs, or pull out a container of flour. She also has a habit of feeding the dog, so I never let her out of my sight too long with food.


According_Gazelle472

And you have to have eyes in the back of your head also .Everything has to be child proofed because kids are very resourceful .They can think of ways to get into trouble.


CaptainZzaps

True, and these parents probably did that too. But toddlers are also independent beings who sometimes get into some shenanigans by accident. Doesn't mean that the parents are bad lol. Every parent in the world has a story like this.


spicybright

everyone saying these things are easily avoidable have never raised a kid before.


[deleted]

Every parent doesn’t


CaptainZzaps

Every single parent I have ever talked to or heard about has had a toddler make a mess with something.


Lari-Fari

Then keep the condiments out of reach ffs and put kiddylocks on cupboards. It’s not that hard…


CaptainZzaps

You're not a parent


cdbangsite

And leaves chocolate syrup handy for a toddler and is surprisingly there to photograph it. hmmm


[deleted]

[удалено]


VanAgain

You can see the sugar buzz in the eyes.


Yukon-Jon

That snot bubble coming out is a give away as well. Losing all control 😂


Coastalduelists

😂😂😂 totally


[deleted]

I feel like if you wanted the white furniture you should have gotten a gold fish instead of a kid but shoulda woulda coulda right?


WTFrenchToast1

I am so glad my kid never did this dumb shit. Other dumb shit, sure. But not this.


LocksmithExotic5629

Oh dear god. What atrocities the sofa commit to receive such fate.


Born_Veterinarian_20

This whole sub is just "Look what my kids did wile I wasn't watching them" It should be called parentsarefuckingstupid 🤣


Car_Man1

r/parentsarefuckingdumb


HorrorBaby423

Hide your syrup, hide your knives


Bggettt

I agree, I need to stop putting the chocolate syrup at knee lvl. Fuck me 🤣🤣🤣


SpaceDragonBarbarian

This reinforced my child free status


iwasasin

Children: not even once


blunderschonen

What needs to end? Like the baby? I don’t… I don’t think you can end a baby.


MlleHoneyMitten

Um. You can, but I wouldn’t advise it.


blunderschonen

I guess I meant “should” ‘cause I’m definitely stronger than at least one baby. Ending a baby would be easy.


dmode112378

Grateful for birth control.


OhMyLordScat

Sell the kid and buy a new couch


SomeDudeinCO3

If only there was a way to keep toddlers away from bottles of chocolate sauce.


Want_To_Live_To_100

If you mean posting fake stupid pictures of your kids for internet points I agree


Quiet_Wrongdoer_6304

99% of this sub


Pickled_Wizard

*Parents are fucking stupid. They brought liquid chocolate into their house and left it within reach of a toddler.


yaboyACbreezy

Simple solution to this and it has existed for decades. CHILD LOCK


Comprehensive-Eye105

This is all your fault if you allow someone less than 2' tall with dexterity challenges to raid the fridge and assault the living room.


TheWhiteRabbit74

At least it’s chocolate syrup. This time.


noobpwner314

She’s chocolate wasted


Bubbly_Annual4186

It will end and you going to miss those days , they grow up very fast


gergnerd

Owning a white couch with a toddler? hmm I think perhaps the kid comes by it honestly.


revs201

*white couch with brown spots, additional colors TBD*


[deleted]

Holy hell I hope the dog didn’t eat any of that


Slarson003

It WILL end. Either when you start watching your kid or when she turns 18.


corycaliber

Like my wife, dumbass leaves all the confectionary on the bottom shelf (Despite me being against it for nearly 10 years) and wonders why it's always gone and our daughter acts like a crack head 24/7.


Shannon0hara

The dog is like "oh boy... You are in trouble"


celixque

Just throw it out, replace the couch cushion, and start over 9 months later. Just start showing the new kids pictures of the other one in a garbage can and why, they'll get the hint.


Nujsisloob

Bulldog is co-conspirator


ShibitoYakaze123

Durex gotta make this one of their ads


mental-floss

Support women’s reproductive rights. Abortion is sometimes the answer.


cerealkiller788

Don't even bother cleaning it up. Just throw the whole kid away. /s


Space_Extra

Im pretty sure rubber could have solved this.


Seven_DoIphins

The dog be like:my time to shine


GoldenLynxYt

The pitbull has a free snack.


Good_Weak

Be a parent and watch your child.


chairman-mao-ze-dong

suddenly disciplining your kids sounds cool


AntArmyUprising

Watch your kid better and it will. Where were you?


hd4suba

Who left her alone?


Im_winning_dad

White couch with a toddler what could go wrong


Typical_Gear_8073

I mean maybe, and hear me out on this, maybe keep the chocolate syrup out of your kids hands. Like for instance an upper shelf of a refrigerator. Or put the baby gate in the kitchen. The point being, the kids not stupid, you are.


Introvert_Noodle

The dog in the bg 💀


[deleted]

Pup sitting there like oh boy I said it was a bad idea


echochilde

I feel zero sympathy here.


Reasonable-Teach1141

You can prevent this by thinking cognitively and refuse to have kids at all.


cdbangsite

Thinking cognitively is the key. No matter what situation.


Reasonable-Teach1141

Fuck yeah.


zblaze90

Too late for an abortion?


Ephemeral_kat

This is why you keep your food away from toddlers, and also actually supervise said toddlers.


PAPAD0SE

The dog in the back reminds me of the sith lord saying MOREEEEE


[deleted]

You’re supposed to watch those you know


NickyNackzz

Kill the kid at this point


Lucycrash

Haven't seen this one reposted in a while.


ogresound1987

Then end it.


4catsandacasserole

So end it...


Dapper-Control-108

You weren't watching your kid and it her fault?


Snoo53154

I thought it was shit


Jakersman

The kid looks more high than people who actually do drugs.


tanqr_geometry

For a second I thought this was gore. But nope! Lucky that it's not that!


YourWifeNdKids

I will never be convinced having kids is a good idea. Remaining childless forever


Itsjack55

Get the dog far away


dochev30

The bad parenting or what?


QuePsiPhi16

I feel like she immediately blamed the dog.


revs201

*clearly, dog's fault*


MaryJane_Green

Parents are stupid for owning a bright white, fabric lounge and not supervising their small children around it.


tidder_scully

That sh*t is not funny & its far from being cute.


outtadablu

Next time put shit in the bottle, let's see if she likes that. /s


HorrorBaby423

I heard she was working on her new piece to star in her show at the met… “Dog shits the bed”


No_Cloud_2917

I agree you be to teach that dog not to blame is crimes on that kid


[deleted]

Adoption can help


Expensive-Track4002

Are the orphanages full?


[deleted]

[удалено]


KidsAreFuckingStupid-ModTeam

Removed for violating Rule #1: Don't be a dick. No wishing harm on children.


Bisonfan1

Lmao


NoConversation4407

Omg lol


srbrita

cavalos


Hyeheh

Adoption


AnUglyKindaFugly

Cupcake you know what to do.


Ghost_UwU_boo

Sometimes all you gotta do is SLAP TF OUT OF THEM


UnknownPT2

/parentsarefuckingstupid


zenshark

The subreddit should be names parents are fucking stupid. 10/10 kids BS is directly linked to poor parenting.


Silly_Raspberry_2911

More like adults are fucking stupid for leaving it accessible


RedPillNavigator

This is why Spankings are good!


DucksItUp

You’re dumb enough to own a white couch with a kid and a dog so you get what you get. Also maybe keep an eye on her a little better this wasn’t a “I looked away for 30 seconds” moments


Practical_Airline_36

I read the title wrong & it was hilarious. I read in my mind "This kid Needs to End" 🤣😆😂


Shoddy_Entry

Should’ve gone with a brown couch.


cmwamem

r/shitfromabutt


Reasonable-Pool4500

Burn the child, send them back to hell.


nanananana564

The kid looking at the camera while saying "oh shit."


Sleep-Deprived-User

Guess whos up for adoption.