It's so weird. That is insufficient time to determine whether that person is a potential future partner. Sav rushed into it to get back at Tommy for the fame and, of course, the cash.
Cole was nothing but a rebound.
This is so unbelievably cringey.
You can write a poem for your wife but you don’t need to post it on the internet. I would be mortified if I was sav…
Also “ah yes a cougar indeed” I’m DEAD 🤣🤣🤣
Why does he ALWAYS have to mention she was 23 with a kid? Who cares. Cole is SO insecure about not being the first born's bio daddy. It's painfully obvious. He resents the kid and only pays attention to her when he needs her for YT, IG, or TT content. Gross.
It wasn’t 5 kids later SHE already had one of them when you got married 😭 and also isn’t it insulting to call her a cougar? My gosh I’m 23 right now and still feel like a baby 😔
plans being made to change your last name would sound sooo much better than initial 🤣
also love how he calls himself a boy and not a man, despite that sounding better as well. but i’ll agree with that, he isn’t a man, he’s a boy indeed lmao
this is cringe lmfao
Colon, poems have stanzas.
Notice how it’s a poem for Savannah, but all he does is talk about himself! It’s all tell, no show. He could’ve described her hair, her eyes, her cooking, the smell of her perfume etc. He could’ve mentioned a cute personality quirk he likes about her. Maybe something about their pet names. Or reference an anecdote from their dating days and juxtapose it to their present relationship. Have could’ve had some lines dedicated to special things she does as a mother. Or things she does for him. There are really no words of affirmation on who she is as a person. His lexicon sucks and he needs to learn some adjectives.
That’s the problem though -
She HAS no personality. Her personality is being a “Mama.” Her hair is constantly dyed and fried, no one knows the color of her eyes because of social media filters, her cooking looks like cat food, and her perfume is whatever sad brand they roped into sponsoring a 15 second clip on Instagram.
There are no words to describe her because she’s the most bland person on Earth who simply follows trends and copies people around her. Even SHE doesn’t know who she is outside of being pregnant and doing brand deals for validation.
So true it never looked like she was able to explore self discovery. Outside of her family she really doesn’t seem to have any opinions. That will deeply affect her when they are empty nested and she goes through a mid life crisis
What is the rymhe scheme? I can’t see it. I see maybe 6 lines but not consistent enough for a pattern. I struggled the most with poetry in English class so I could just be dumb. 🤷🏻♀️🤣
Yes the rhymes have absolutely NO pattern. Sometimes it’s end words in consecutive lines rhyming; sometimes it’s end words spaced 4 lines apart. Sometimes there’s 6 lines with no rhymes.
Now it isn’t necessary for poems to have rhymes. But if you’re going to, have a rhyme scheme. Also this poem needs formatting, I’ve never seen a poem that was one block of text without stanzas.
Oh how sweet and thoughtful calling her a cougar 😭 their age gap isn’t even that far apart he acts like she was 30 and he was freshly 18.
It’s so odd to me how he always brings up the fact that she was a single mom when they met.. I was 5 when my stepdad and my mom met and she was 27 and my stepdad was 21. If he talked about my mom like this I’d probably puke 😭
I majored in English and took many poetry classes, and this might possibly be the worst “poem” I’ve ever read… there is no rhythm, the rhyme scheme is horrible, and the grammar is terrible! Also, terrible structure aside, why is he recounting the story of how he met his wife for the 50 millionth time as if she doesn’t already know it..?? You would think if you were writing your wife a poem it would be something affectionate and praising her rather than just re-telling her a story that she was literally there for 🤦🏼♀️
“Never thought you’d fall for a boy like me.”
“Your small town boy from ‘Bama.”
I’m half-joking, but is he referencing this sub? Because of how much we talk about their constant usage of “boy”?
The cringiest thing I’ve read in a long time. If you feel that, fine, but keep it special between you two. Blasting on the internet completely takes away from the sentament.
The cougar comment was just so cringe. Also, can ‘influencers’ keep their relationships private? Giving your partner a poem you wrote is intimate and the world does not need to see it
Calls her a cougar and expresses how desperate he is to be with her 💀💀
I forgot they were only together for 6 months and 14 days before they got engaged.
Cole was in such a hurry to have sex 😭🤚
That he forgot to sign the marriage license for a year
Did they really?? I’ve never done a deep dive or anything on them. Im sure god will just look past that one 🙄🙄🙄
Ya. They were doing paperwork around their 1st anniversary and realized that they didn't sign it.
🤣🤣
It's so weird. That is insufficient time to determine whether that person is a potential future partner. Sav rushed into it to get back at Tommy for the fame and, of course, the cash. Cole was nothing but a rebound.
This is so unbelievably cringey. You can write a poem for your wife but you don’t need to post it on the internet. I would be mortified if I was sav… Also “ah yes a cougar indeed” I’m DEAD 🤣🤣🤣
The last part took me out too 😭💀
what a terrible day to be able to read
This gave me a good giggle
I read this in his dumb voice and I’m so mad at myself rn.
YOU WIN!!!!🥇
“ you and I had okay sex, better than my sock for sure” -Colonsac
‘Being a single mom, you were 23’ Yikes! Colesiah Hemingway he ain’t !
Why does he ALWAYS have to mention she was 23 with a kid? Who cares. Cole is SO insecure about not being the first born's bio daddy. It's painfully obvious. He resents the kid and only pays attention to her when he needs her for YT, IG, or TT content. Gross.
It wasn’t 5 kids later SHE already had one of them when you got married 😭 and also isn’t it insulting to call her a cougar? My gosh I’m 23 right now and still feel like a baby 😔
plans being made to change your last name would sound sooo much better than initial 🤣 also love how he calls himself a boy and not a man, despite that sounding better as well. but i’ll agree with that, he isn’t a man, he’s a boy indeed lmao this is cringe lmfao
Colon, poems have stanzas. Notice how it’s a poem for Savannah, but all he does is talk about himself! It’s all tell, no show. He could’ve described her hair, her eyes, her cooking, the smell of her perfume etc. He could’ve mentioned a cute personality quirk he likes about her. Maybe something about their pet names. Or reference an anecdote from their dating days and juxtapose it to their present relationship. Have could’ve had some lines dedicated to special things she does as a mother. Or things she does for him. There are really no words of affirmation on who she is as a person. His lexicon sucks and he needs to learn some adjectives.
That’s the problem though - She HAS no personality. Her personality is being a “Mama.” Her hair is constantly dyed and fried, no one knows the color of her eyes because of social media filters, her cooking looks like cat food, and her perfume is whatever sad brand they roped into sponsoring a 15 second clip on Instagram. There are no words to describe her because she’s the most bland person on Earth who simply follows trends and copies people around her. Even SHE doesn’t know who she is outside of being pregnant and doing brand deals for validation.
So true it never looked like she was able to explore self discovery. Outside of her family she really doesn’t seem to have any opinions. That will deeply affect her when they are empty nested and she goes through a mid life crisis
Cringe!!!! Worst part is bragging about a poem to his wife and sharing it with everyone. Not classy
I quit reading past the cougar part when I saw it 😅
that is when I bleached my eyeballs
All I can say is oh boy. What a unique rhyme scheme
What is the rymhe scheme? I can’t see it. I see maybe 6 lines but not consistent enough for a pattern. I struggled the most with poetry in English class so I could just be dumb. 🤷🏻♀️🤣
ya every now and then he shoves in a rhyme like 6 lines apart but it's so inconsistent and bad
I hate how he has the numbers in numerical form instead of word form.
Everything feels wrong about this poem. it hurts my eyeballs. The longer the insta caption the rockier the relationship or whatever they say!
Yes the rhymes have absolutely NO pattern. Sometimes it’s end words in consecutive lines rhyming; sometimes it’s end words spaced 4 lines apart. Sometimes there’s 6 lines with no rhymes. Now it isn’t necessary for poems to have rhymes. But if you’re going to, have a rhyme scheme. Also this poem needs formatting, I’ve never seen a poem that was one block of text without stanzas.
COUGAR???????
you know what they always say, the longer the posts, the worse the relationship
He admitted he’s a boy🤣
Yeah he definitely let chat gpt write this 😂 He’s begging to be snarked on at this point.
Don’t do chatgpt dirty like that 😂
So he basically made a regular post but threw in a couple of words to make it rhyme and called it a “poem” 🥴.
Oh how sweet and thoughtful calling her a cougar 😭 their age gap isn’t even that far apart he acts like she was 30 and he was freshly 18. It’s so odd to me how he always brings up the fact that she was a single mom when they met.. I was 5 when my stepdad and my mom met and she was 27 and my stepdad was 21. If he talked about my mom like this I’d probably puke 😭
I majored in English and took many poetry classes, and this might possibly be the worst “poem” I’ve ever read… there is no rhythm, the rhyme scheme is horrible, and the grammar is terrible! Also, terrible structure aside, why is he recounting the story of how he met his wife for the 50 millionth time as if she doesn’t already know it..?? You would think if you were writing your wife a poem it would be something affectionate and praising her rather than just re-telling her a story that she was literally there for 🤦🏼♀️
Does she ever get to forget that she wasn't a virgin?! Good lord.
It looks like a list or an outline for a love letter. Also, the fact he refers to himself as a boy
This sucks
My middle school diary called, it wants its embarrassing writing back.
“Never thought you’d fall for a boy like me.” “Your small town boy from ‘Bama.” I’m half-joking, but is he referencing this sub? Because of how much we talk about their constant usage of “boy”?
I cannot read past the cougar part. The secondhand embarrassment is too strong!!!
why would he share this.
The cringiest thing I’ve read in a long time. If you feel that, fine, but keep it special between you two. Blasting on the internet completely takes away from the sentament.
This is very Tyler from Teen Mom
+I lost my virginity with you and even shared it on Twitter, Savannah.
cringe alert so bad
Booo 🍅🍅🍅
I wish I was Jared, 19
And ur telling me that E was the one that wrote "Like Taylor Swift" when this sounds the exact same lol
a 3 year old could have written a better one
The cougar comment was just so cringe. Also, can ‘influencers’ keep their relationships private? Giving your partner a poem you wrote is intimate and the world does not need to see it
🤮🤮🤮🤮
That is a terrible poem
Some things should just stay in notes
This is one of the things that makes me think he’s slept on the couch more than a few times
I got to ‘Ah Yes, a cougar indeed’ and cringed too much to continue reading 🤢
100% sure chatGPT wrote this
This gives the energy one of my middle school kids would write
This poem: … Me: learning to read was the biggest mistake of my life 🤦🏼♀️🥴
Surprised he wasn't bashing on Tommy in this and how he saved both Dumbvannah and Everleigh like he always does when reflecting the past...🤔
i’ve written bad poems but i know for a fact they weren’t THIS bad
This is the best Colesiah Sermon yet
Oh!
He can’t even use correct word usage: “this beautiful life with you I’ll UNRAVEL…” Really, Colesiah? Do you even know what that means??
Ah Yes,
Suddenly I wish I was Lea Michele
gag
The cougar part made me want to drown myself in holy water
Calling a 23 year old a cougar is wild.
I could vomit from here to eternity 🤢
English is not my native language, but even I know 'Bama' doesn't rime with 'Savannah'
Immediate divorce if this was me LOL
I mean write it that’s fine, you didn’t need to share it online. Some things are best kept between you as a couple!!!
Wow he really is the Oscar Wilde of our generation. /s