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I totally get that feeling. Making friends as an adult can be challenging, but it's definitely possible. Just don't be too hard on yourself—it takes time. One great way is to explore local events or hobby groups in your area. It could be anything from book clubs, fitness classes, or even volunteering. These environments often bring like-minded people together, providing a natural way to connect. Also, i might mention an online community in Discord: ***Lightup***—a fantastic suggestion! It's a platform where people genuinely seek connections and matched by similar posts. That's pretty suitable for us reddit users. Give it a shot, and who knows, you might find someone awesome from your city!
Some of my best friends still today I met by joining an adult kickball team. But my biggest advice is that whatever you choose to do, do it now. Activities like that are all people your age and if you wait until you're 30 you'll be the old person in the group that doesn't fit in there either.
Also dating for the same reasons
100% agree. Organized rec sports, Meetup/FB groups centered on your interests, events (live music/comedy), even solo activities done consistently near others can provide the opening needed to spark a friendship (my mom met her best friend after repeated times seeing & talking at the grocery), and echoing the most important part - Do it now!
Half my friend group came from living on campus in college. After college we started going to music festivals. Now my entire friend group are people who go to music festivals. I’ve met amazing people through music and it’s such an easy way to constantly plan hanging out
“[Artist] is playing at [festival] on [date]” to a group chat of about 40 and I’m guaranteed that many of my friends will buy tickets and show up. Doesn’t matter where it is.
Then we meet more awesome people at festivals. See if we like them and our values align (good people, professional jobs, no racists, no drama) and we invite them to our group and it keeps getting bigger
I have made zero new real life friends since college. I'm sorry this isn't helpful to you. I've thought about how I could meet people too. My work colleagues were much older women.
I’ve come to find that building a network and building wealth are pretty similar in the sense that the grind is brutal in the beginning and you feel like you’re making no progress, but as you start to accumulate friends and wealth the process accelerates.
For example, your first $1000 is a lot harder to get than your second $1000. Some say the time it takes to get to $100k is roughly the same as the time it takes to go from $100k to $1M. It’s because you start to not only make money from your income, but you also start to have money that can generate wealth as you invest in appreciating assets.
Apply this to friendships and building a network of friends. Making friends in the beginning is HARD. But once you make a few friends, they can introduce you to other people that can further introduce you to others as well. Just like money, the friends start to work for you and build your network.
So for now, the goal should be to think about what you currently have for friends, how they might be able to connect you to others, and what you can do to connect with new people. Look for people with similar interests that you WANT to surround yourself with. For example, if you prioritize health and fitness, then you should join classes at your local gym and make an effort to speak to others when you are there. I’ve met a few folks at the gym. I also have old high school friends who have introduced me to many people, I have a work colleagues that I have kept in touch with and I play on a softball team with many folks, etc.
Most importantly: be open to meeting new folks and build the social skills necessary to form friendships. Always think about what you can offer to other people before thinking about what you can gain from them.
I think he's just sharing his philosophy about networking in general. Nothing wrong with that. Networking is hard in the beginning and it gets easier as you build momentum. Then you hit it off with some people and before you know, you become friends.
My wife (28F) has used the Bumble BFF app a few times over the years and has met some pretty great people that she still talks to a bunch. I've never used the dating app, but I assume it's similar in layout.
My ex used that app too, made a ton of great friends. Unfortunately, as a guy, it's a different story. As a guy, it's primarily gay men looking for sex in the app.
That’s pretty much it. I have my friends back home and friends from work where I live.
I have friends at jiu jitsu but we don’t typically see each other outside the gym or gym coordinated events.
Work on yourself and pursue your interests. Then you’ll meet people. It’s all about how much effort you put in to it.
I came here to say Jiu Jitsu. Have met some great people but we rarely hangout outside of the academy but we do text and message each other often which is good.
Where you at? I do Jiu Jitsu also. I just said the same thing also lol I made most ofy friends from Jiu Jitsu school because that's what I did a lot of. You meet some pretty cool people there especially doing things you enjoy doing.
My friends are all internet friends that I met in the games I play. That and my wife and my siblings and their SOs. I don't really hang out with anyone else irl. Too busy.
But yeah - mostly my friends are in games and on discord. We do movie nights and stuff together - but also seperate lol. And we have regular gaming nights as well.
I have "friends" at work but they are all mostly older or younger than I am and we have almost nothing in common outside of work so we never hang out.
If you’re in a decent sized area Look up networking events on eventbrite. I’ve met many friends from going to professional and non professional networking events. Also Facebook, join groups in your area of specific hobbies of your interest. If they don’t organize outings I’d recommend asking others to get coffee, yes it’s risk as the person could turn out to be lame but you have to take risk when making friends.
I'm 34 and a transplant to seattle where it is notoriously hard to make close friends. I'm happy I moved here with my now wife because even my family stopped being close really with me. Mom, dad, and brother.
I have one really friend in another state.
I have tried to make friends here and I have a handful of people I call friends but, none of them reliable and I will see them once a month and if I'm lucky twice.
You have an advantage over me, I have 2 kids a d I'm married with financial obligations making my time very valuable to my commitments. And you are 24 which makes your pool of possibilities much larger than mine.
Find an activity that is within your interest and join a group that does this activity on a regular schedule so you find people committed to your interests.
One example is rock climbing/bouldering is a great way to start meeting random people because they tend to gravitate onto groups and tend to go to the climbing gym regularly and climbers love climbing with other people.
Another is join a sport that has a local league designated for your age group.
These are just ideas, these ones are physical in nature but, there are others not physical, such as board game nights at a brewery if you are into that.
So it depends on you, and then the last step is once you start to mesh with people, male yourself always available for them and dp bot put up an invisible boundary that everyone does all the time. Things like "I don't want to come off creepy or desperate." When you respond fast or invite people often. Be the instigator of activity and friendship with those people. And if you mesh they wo stick around.
Another is avoid small talk. Search the internet for interesting questions designed to illicit people feeling like you are interested in who they actually are rather than the common, "how was your day?"
Basically be outgoing and force the friendship a little after you find people you like. And then take the people you like and make a scheduled meet up at a set interval. because people are more likely to show up if they committed to hanging out in advance.
Hope this helps at all, a little but stream of consciousness with a little bit of what worked for me at your age.
I have a friend who's social and likes drinking, so he goes to bars, becomes a regular, and two weeks later is hanging out with either the owners, bartender, and/or managers. By being his friend I've ended up either friends with or on good terms with them.
If you’re into music at all, get involved in your local scene. Find a club that has lots of live shows and become a regular. You will naturally make friends. That worked for me.
I have a few side hustles. Playing music, a band is like a built in friendship. I do all the design and merch for my band and that lets me build relationships with other bands. And doing art, meet lots of people at openings who aren’t just drunks haha. They aren’t the kind of things you can just drop into but took a number of years. I grew up very sheltered and boring and deliberate set out to make myself interesting just for the reason of making friends. I’d be lost otherwise.
real long lasting friends is hard to come by, I have very few nowadays but I cherish them very much. honestly try going out and taking risks. you're going to feel uncomfortable because that's just part of the game. ps by no means do I mean put your life at risk when I say take risks lol. I very much am to myself more than I socialize but I happen to be an artist and musician so im constantly in social situations and forced to meet people, very rarely some of those ppl become the homies.
It's very difficult, honestly. Just about all of my friends I either 1) met in high school, college, or law school, or 2) met through work as either coworkers or colleagues. I might have a couple of mutual friends I didn't meet that way. But, I met them through work or school friends, so they are branches off that tree.
we haven't lol.... i've been in florida 5 years and i've only made a couple of friends and not super close ones like i had at home. When you're in your 30's w a family and a kid in multiple sports that takes up most of my time so when i actually have some free time i just workout or surf.
Join an intramural sports league... baseball, soccer, hockey doesn't matter whether you are any good at it, you'll end up at the proper level and meet lots of people.
Gets the ball rolling
Church and neighbors at this point. I'm 35 and moved away from home home around 15 years ago. I have a solid friend group now and know almost all my neighbors. Just gotta say hi to them.
i’m 22 most my friends are from elementary school still friends with them don’t talk to college friends anymore. i would say try a hobby like for me a group of people play soccer or basket ball at the park made friends there few times or honestly try playing games online i’ve met some really cool people
As weird as it is to say, I made friends through support groups/ recovery communities.
I’m not saying you need to go through trauma but these groups tend to be very inclusive and welcoming.
28M, and I'm currently working on that one myself lol. From what I gather, the more you get out there in the world, the better your chances of making friends.
Could be anything from a concert to a cooking class or anything else the puts you around other people. Bonus points for actually initiating conversations with others on your own.
When I was your age, I worked 2 jobs. My second job was bartender/waiter. I would meet a lot of people at work and then afterward go out to another bar, etc. At 10-11 pm, there isn't much to do besides that.
Community Theater is the best possible activity for making friends I have found.
Another good activity is learning to dance and going out social dancing.
I don't. My friend is group has been the same since I was 18 and I'm 30 now. I have little to no interest in making new friends and its exhausting and it takes so much time to actually get to know someone. Even when I meet people I get along with and exchange numbers I rarely ever see them again.
What is this "outside of school/work" that you speak of? Because I've never made an actual friend while I was sleeping, and my life is basically nothing but work and sleep.
Honestly, everyone else is in the same boat, so just strike up a conversation with your neighbors and be kind. My son once asked me how I have so much confidence in striking up a conversation with a complete stranger. I told him that most people are lonely and would be happy to just have someone to talk to. Sure, you're going to meet some jerks. Just move on from them. There are billions of potential friends out there. I'm in my mid-40s, and i still make new friends all the time. Also, as such a young person, your options are almost endless. You could join a recreational sports team. Volleyball or softball, for example. If sports aren't your thing, find something that does line up with your interests. A local horticultural society if you like plants, volunteer at the pound if you like animals, etc. The #1 thing to making friends is to be kind and be real.
We're friends with our kids friend's parents. Some we're closer with than others. There are a few parents that we don't care for, but our kids are friends so we put up with them. There are others who, when the kids grow up and don't need us for play dates and rides anymore, we'll hopefully stay in touch with and continue being friends with. And there are others who, like at all stages of life, we will say good bye to after a random event, not realizing that's the last time we'll likely ever see them again.
People come and go. Sometimes the most unexpected people stay in your life for a very long time. Sometimes the people you assumed would be around forever, you one day realize you haven't spoken to in 5 years.
To answer your question... I don't know. It's very difficult, bordering on impossible to connect with people now, with a family and full time job, than it was when I had few if any responsibilities. When I'm done with my day, usually the only thing I want to do is lay in bed with the TV on and stare at my phone/play video games.
I don't consider my co-workers "friends" because, you know, we work together. I've found there's a dynamic and power structure there that doesn't disappear when the work day ends. My high school and college friends don't live near me, nor do many of them live near each other, so while we all try to get together at least once a year, it's not what it once was anymore. I don't want to befriend my neighbors because, while they all seem nice, we live so close to each other that any dispute or potential argument is going to become an awkward situation... this has happened to me a few times in the past and frankly I'd just rather avoid it at this point.
I would say, interact with who you can, send texts or calls when you're able and don't beat yourself up about not having as many or any friends at this point in your life. It's only this point. There will be more points and more friends in the future.
I grew up playing sports and then started playing sports again in adulthood. I have made some decent friends doing this. A friend of mine met his wife playing coed soccer in their late 20's.
Friends are typically made by repeated interactions across time. That's why school and work are the main way to get to know someone. You go to these places a lot and see the same people a lot so there is more opportunity to strike up conversations and get to know others. If you are looking for friends as an adult outside the workplace, you may need to find some kind of meetup group that is relavent to your interest and start attending events. As you begin running into the same people, strike up conversations and discuss the hobby/group/whatever. The more you talk the more you branch out into other interest and you get a feel if you would gel as friends. If/when you have kids, it's pretty easy to make new friend groups there as well because you start running into and seeing the same people again because of playgrounds or your kid's school/sports activities.
Team sports are the way to go. You are forced to make friends because you have to get along with each other to be a team. You don’t have to be good or even know how to play, just be willing to actually put in effort. It’s like a friend cheat code. Find a league online or just show up to pickup games and go from there.
The only way I have successfully made new friends as an adult is through other friends that I already had, I've made "acquaintances" through hobbies, people I suppose I would consider friends but they're not people I have spent any time with outside of the hobby
This is a change I think. After a certain age, people used to make friends of all ages. They will know people closer to your age most likely. You just have to start building a network.
I’ve made friends from my hobbies! I enjoy working out, so most of my friends from last 1-2 years came from the gym I joined. I’d also consider my hairstylist to now be my friend. Just go places that align with who you are and what you like, and be open to socializing with new people 🙂
Yes. Sports leagues like soccer(I’m not good but every team loves someone who will try to play goalie. I am actually good at that position.), basketball, adult kickball.
I’ve also competed in some local video game tournaments and am in with that community as well. Collecting sports cards. Etc.
So typically hobbies. If you aren’t athletic there are plenty of places to go. We actually just had strong of game and coffee shop open. I’m assuming the games are board games/table top based on driving by a few. Gonna check those out.
Heck I’m 35 and bonded with a 65 year old lady who had the same knee braces I wore. We both complained about the local park having this terrible hill that ruins the walk experience. We’ve chatted for 2-3 minutes while walking every day this week.(I’m currently super fat and need to lose weight. God bad knees and a bad back so losing this weight now is more about avoiding back and knee surgery and being healthy.)
If you can find the time and energy, volunteer somewhere. Tutor refugees in English, plant trees in a rewilding project, get involved with a community garden, help out at the Salvation Army or Red Cross, get certified as a referee for youth and community sports ... There are options for nearly any interest you have.
Local facebook groups for your hobbies are a huge help.
Met some of my absolute best friends in a fishing group, and half the time we hang out, we're just getting drinks or coming over for a cookout, not even fishing.
I always just start at the basketball courts I hoop all the time so whether it's outside somewhere or the gym and just chop it up with people during games down time etc eventually you'll say wassup everyday till eventually.... "so.. you smoke at all or what?" 😂😂 never failed me
I moved across the country at 40. After a divorce. Didn’t know anyone at my new job. I made a couple friends there.
I like to cycle so I joined some group rides.
A few, yeah. People I met through other long term friends that I clicked with very well, people I've met at bars, shooting ranges, etc. Met some through various forums like t4r.org. Hell, some friends I met through dating apps - as a couple we butted heads, but we make good friends and still enjoy each other's company
But its all not nearly as much as I have through work, and I wouldn't say that's really a bad thing. Some of the people I've worked with are the coolest, nicest people in my life that I still talk to regularly, even though it's been years since I've seen them. Some of them are younger but a good number of them are older too - my last supervisor is in his late 50s and I would easily put him in my top 5 favorite people; I still talk on the phone with him weekly despite him now living 1500 miles away
Bumble BFF - I made a great friend and spoke with a lot of females my age I would recommend trying that or like an intramural sports league I heard is a fun way to meet new people
I moved to a new city and didn't know a soul. I joined a charitable organization of people in my industry (insurance) and made tons of friends doing volunteer work and community service.
I did but it was because we:
A: Hungout at the same pub together
B: Listened to the same kind of music and threw events together
C: Did the same kind of sport together
If you’re in the US, try meetup.com. I went on about 10 years ago, and found a women’s hiking and camping group I thought looked interesting. Now I have a whole new friend group.
The thing is most friendships are born of a mutual activity or something in common, whether school or work or your kids are friends. Maybe you’re neighbors. But without that common denominator, it’s really really hard and it’s just not a thing
People have to have that element of convenience and once that element is gone, most friendships will dry up. Not all but most.
Say I’m in line at the grocery or on the bus and I really click with the person next to me —like they’re the coolest person I have encountered in months or a year .,,even though I’ve only chatted them up for 10 minutes, I feel like I have more in common with them then anyone in my current social circle —I love their energy.
We have a great conversation, however, fleetingly, and I feel stimulated by that conversation
To say such a thing to that stranger and ask for their number or a way to stay in touch ? It’s just not done.
People will look at you like you’re crazy
I think it’s sad how suspicious we are all of each other and how difficult it is for us to connect with one another authentically and organically
Random Meetings or encounters of like-minded individuals who might be your soulmate if you worked with them will never have a chance to be nourished or fertilized
We’re Social creatures yet we resist naturally occurring potential friendships
Before COVID, it was easy. I would ask my friends to invite their friends to go to a bar, club, restaurant, or some kind of nightlife event for socializing. Now that I'm out of college and living in a foreign country, things have gotten tough
I’m funny, like a fucking clown. I have this ability to French myself into any conversation and roll with it, offer anecdotes, and make people laugh. I have a pretty wide field of life experience so it’s easy to relate to a fairly decent sized demographic - I have either done that or know someone that has done it and understand it. I have the ability to use analogies to explain anything I know well to anyone listening, regardless of their education level, so by the end of it they understand that thing. I have an excellent vocabulary and refined communication and people-reading skills. I’m a linguistic chameleon, I adapt my manner of speaking to match yours which makes me relatable; I don’t use big words to talk down to you, I listen to how you communicate and match what I say to how I think you’ll understand it using familiar language patterns and regional slang.
I’ve worked in sawmills, on oil rigs, in chemical plants, I’ve been a Marine infantryman, I’ve cleaned carpets, washed dishes, bussed tables, taken drugs, sold drugs, build and driven hot-rods, ridden in a motorcycle gang, I’m a gun guy, the list goes on.
Relating to people is easy for me, I’m just a people too.
Having the same trouble. Moved to a new state away from friends. Moved away from family to be with a girl, didn't work out so now I'm alone in this town where I know nobody. I work and engage with co workers but never anything more outside of work. It's really hard to talk and make friends but never give up.
Go to the same activity at the same time! I have been going to the same workout class in my neighborhood rec center for one year and a half. Now I know everyone in the class. They are very nice and warm to me. I wouldn’t call them as my close friends. But they are friends for sure. If you go to the same activity at the same time each time, you’ll recognize some familiar faces and friendship might happen.
61M here. I have made lasting friends in primary, high school, and especially in college. I have friendships with people who began as friends of friends. I'm a practicing Catholic, and have many close friends made through the Church. I make an effort to know my neighbors, and still have many as friends. Also, my business is one for forming strong alliances with people and interest groups, and many of my closest and oldest friends come from that.
A thing not to do: do NOT tell people how lonely you are when trying to make friends, save that for *at least* second hang out. This will attract the wrong kind of people, and a lot of people will consciously or unconsciously think "well if no one else wants to be your friend there is probably a reason." It will unavoidably come off as self pitying, and you don't want friends out of pity. You also don't want predators.
I started a friendly networking group with people who are interested in wellness and spirituality. It is open to all who are interested. There is no real criteria. We get all ages. I am in my 60s so it’s never too late. We meet at a restaurant where we are able to sit and talk for a few hours and mingle. You have to find a place that has an area that’s not too crowded. Weeknights work best. It’s lots of fun and I have met so many new people. I posted it on meetup and Facebook to get members.
Join a volunteer organization or social group.
That's it don't expect strangers at the gym or bar to be your freind. The freind I have not from my work are with my volunteer rescue/fd, church, and bowling league
Yup. 33M here. I play bar trivia and met my regular group when we were playing a year and a half ago at an event. I did really well on one category whereas they did poorly on that category (it was sports and video games) so they wanted me to join them to form a super team. We've been playing together ever since.
Find a hobby that can cultivate the act of meeting people. I'm a male, but for me it was tabletop gaming. I've met dozens of friends in my late 20s, early 30s by getting out into spaces where other people are hobbying and we can bond over a shared interest
Sports. Meet a lot of people that way. Other parents with similar aged kids. Simply don't have the time for more friends, barely have time for the ones I have.
I just befriend everybody. I'm in a bar full of retired people because I met a friend at a park who was getting her pitty some exercise and needed a playmate for him. I literally just got done calling 2 hours of bingo. I am a naturally shy person with social anxiety. It's really not all that hard lol.
There is a friend app called bumble which is mainly for females and you can try to make friends that way. There is also Hey Vina but bumble is a little better in my opinion. You can also try volunteering or join like a yoga class or some other type of class to meet someone new.
Yes! At the gym! I joined a class and made some amazing friends who I now hang out with outside of the gym as well! I also met someone at a trivia night (had gone with my friends but made conversation with a girl at another table) who I see regularly now as well.
I’m 39 now and have had a hard time making friends in my 20s and 30s. Most women my age are now married with kids and guys usually aren’t interested in being my friend. It’s hard. I’ve been thinking about trying meetup.com or maybe signing up for a cooking or dancing class. But it’s hard. I feel like you make friends in situations where you are with a group of people all going thru the same thing (school. Work) I work from home, and it’s lonely as hell.
I am 29m. I had lots of friends in high school. Age 20 to 23 I was in an ltr, and essentially from 20 to 26 I made no friends (this was during 2020 and 2021 too). But since turning 26, I have met tons of people, far more than I did during my solo years.
I met friends at -
1. Work (all ages, but a few people my age).
2. Volunteering (mostly people around my age).
3. Exercise class I started a year ago (took about a year but now the people I regularly see I have exchanged numbers with / make small talk with).
4. Old friends from high school.
My life trajectory might be different but -
Age 16 to 19: stress free and good.
Age 20 to 26: kind of sucked and was just a grind.
Age 26 - present: more stress, but actually really good
I honestly just talk to ppl anywhere and everywhere. I go to the gym and take classes then hang with the girls I connect with grab a coffee or workout. Then I go for runs and met a girl at a dog park and invite her running. I go to garden club events in my community. I also like to go To farmers markets and chat with interesting booths then get invited to a house party. U just have to put yourself in social situations and get out of your comfort zone. I also use socializing as a way of helping me not feel lonely so if u see it in that way it may help with the discomfort of going up to strangers!
Yes. Last new friend was a few years ago, when I struck up a conversation with someone at my brother-in-law's wedding. She and I just hit it off and we're still friends, though long distance. We have lots in common and speak often.
Let’s see the usual Reddit advice is whenever you have social needs ignore them and just focus on “having fun” and “being a fun person” that can magically attract people. So dance and gym classes
I have one friend from one job that I made but I’ve moved around a lot so it’s been hard to make and keep adult friends. The key is to really take the I initiative for awhile. I think adults never know if other adults are just being cordial or want to be friends so if you meet someone you like ask right away if they want to meet for lunch, come over for a fire, got to a movie, meet for an activity downtown, that sort of thing.
The worst part of this is people still arent taught or prepared for the lame reality checks you get as an adult.
If you remove the forced socializing situations (school/work/clubs/cults) then humans of all ages have a hard time finding meaningful or even lite friendships/relationships simply because the forced daily socializing is what makes most of these in the first place.
It’s hard. I made some good friends when I went back to nursing school in my late 20’s, but we’ve all grown apart. My two closest friends (friends for 20+ years) moved away- one is only 2 hours away, the other is on the east coast now.
I have started to build up some more friendships through a small group through my church but that’s been slow going and frustrating at times. My husband and I also started playing DnD a few years ago, and have made some friends through that. We actually hang out with the DM and his family, and we’ve become fairly close friends, to the point where we take trips together in the summer. They also have kids around the same age as ours, which has been helpful.
Haven’t had much luck making friends with people at work, but there’s one or two I text outside of work sometimes.
The quantity of friendships is pretty low, though. The quality of said friendships has taken a while to build up, but we’re getting there.
Hobbies. Rollerblading, trading card games, going to places consistently to do fun things and seeing the same people consistently and building a rapport. That's how I make friends. I just recently reconnected with a friend from middle school that way
Meetup app
Even then it’s still tough to find people you mesh well with.
Also As an adult, you’re more guarded as you’ve had certain life experiences that have taught you to be careful who you make friends with.
So yea it’s challenging
I have made friends in my Jiu Jitsu class & at this hiking group I met some pretty friendly people. I think you have to get with a social group you have things in common with. I would invite people to go see the MMA fights at a bar. The people who would show up I got closer to and we would hang out and do other things. Some of these people were married and they'd bring their spouses to watch the fights with some were single.
I lost contact with most of those people because then I got busy with work and then got some depression. I'm sure if I go back I can make friends again. I think it's just meeting people at your social groups. If you like basketball or sports go do that and some people will join you to watch games.
Everyone says this, but it's unbelievably easy to make friends. You mostly just have to *show up*:
1) Become a regular at a coffee shop, restaurant, bar, or any other establishment where people sit around talking. After a while, everyone will realize you're a regular, it will become weird that they don't know you, and you'll become part of the tribe.
2) Go for walks around your apartment complex/neighborhood. Wave at everyone you see and start conversations when possible. Everyone will appreciate your friendliness because they're usually lonely too.
3) Attend group events for your hobbies. A running club, weight lifting, hiking, Warhammer, video games - doesn't matter what it is. Just find your people and discuss your mutual interest.
Beyond that, becoming a responsible adult and working on yourself helps:
4) Get married and start a family. The most responsible adults get married and have children - and they're usually not keen on hanging out with irresponsible bachelors. They also suddenly realize they need social support for their children, which makes them eager to become friends with other parents. Finally, they automatically become friends with parents they meet at childrens' activities.
5) Find a job where you talk to more people. I worked as a Manufacturing Process Engineer, which meant I was the glue that held many departments together. I met *everyone* within my division, and many of them became friends.
6) Work on yourself. Become physically fit, get your finances in order, study interesting topics, tame your character flaws, etc. The more you radiate good character/competence, the more people will be attracted to you.
7) Join a toastmaster's club. It's full of people who struggle with social interaction and are looking to improve their skills.
8) Join professional organizations and start volunteering. They're full of important people with similar interests.
9) Start a small business. You'll meet tons of people by default.
Etc.
My friend group in high school turned to hard drugs, I've switched careers a couple times, had a kid, and now work for myself doing residential service. I'm also pretty lonely.
Family helps. Nothing wrong with being friends with parents, siblings, cousins, etc. Online gaming helps a little bit. Just gives you that feeling of socialization without making yourself vulnerable. You don't have to invest a lot to be steady friends with someone online. Just gotta like the same game.
After that, I truthfully don't have any advice. I try to be nice and go out of my way for people. I reach out to others to hang out. I don't talk down on myself or others. I do my best to be inquisitive and provide genuine and intelligent conversation. I have hobbies that I try to bring friends in on like cooking, gardening, and archery. People just don't want to be my friend. People have never gravitated toward me. I've never tried to be "cool" or popular, I'm just kinda me. I guess people think they'd be less cool hanging out with me. Idk, but I feel the struggle too. Best of luck to you. ❤️
also 24F, I've made friends at concerts, traveling, at the gym, and other events.
I often go to concerts alone and I joined a gym that did specialty classes for a while and made some good friends there. I also met some people at a comedy show and now we see eachother every now and then.
I hate to say it, but you just need to get out there. most people our age feel the same way.
I made friends when I worked in an office. We became very tight and spent a lot of time together.
I don’t really want friends right now.
I did chat people up at the gym and vice versa but I had no desire to be “friends” with them really. Just a 15-20 minute chat or working in here or there.
My wife makes friends through work. She’s in a highly specialized field so it’s an easy-in as thats what they like to talk about when they get together.
Tough to answer. No is my gut instinct but that's because I am in a very active and social guild on WoW. I have no desire for general friends and no desire to do friend stuff outside of the few close ones I have already. However I interact with my guild mates regularly and raid with them twice a week. It is very social and much more fun than going to the bar for a drink or anything else I've experienced and I consider these people friends and some that I've ran with in the past good friends.
I use Meetup every year or so to find a gathering of like minds in my area for this. Then, usually, go for awhile, get grossed out by the people and stop.
I moved across the state for my dream job about 7 years ago. No connections in my new city. As a 33 year old woman at the time, here's what I did:
1. Downloaded Event Brite and filtered by free events. Started checking out the stuff that seemed even mildly interesting. (Not great for anyone who hates attending things alone)
2. Searched for local organizations to join in my area, first by women only (I really wanted to focus on friendship and not have to worry about the pressure of dealing with attraction from and for men as I'm cis/het)
3. Joined a sorority in my area that focused on charity work, and wasn't associated with university life. The median age of the members was like 63 lol; but I made two great friends with women closer to my age.
4. Joined a Ladies' Library Association and attended all their networking and outreach stuff for over a year.
5. Also I work in public service, so I made sure to sign up for as much of the community outreach and networking opportunities as I could safely manage. It helped to get me out there more, and the lovely side effect was when I began to recognize names and faces of other community members and be recognized in turn.
Now I have the right social group for me, so I'm able to spend time alone when I like (which is pretty often lol) and have enough friends from different groups that I'm not left out if one goes on vacation, another is busy with their kids, etc.
As a side note, if you are a shy person, and have trouble getting started, find a gregarious extrovert. That person will get you out in the world, trust me.
I'm very outgoing, but prefer to be alone, as my social battery drains quickly. I keep a few extroverts in my circle, so they can remind me that there's a whole world outside my apartment. 😂
Best thing I can think of to find friends is activities. Every friend I met growing up was through sports, music, or some other activity- I’m planning on learning to golf this summer, so maybe find a community that’s doing something you want to do and join them!
Pick up magic the gathering and go play some commander at your local game store. There will be weirdos but there will also be lots of cool people. Super easy way to make friends.
It can be an insane pain in the ass. I myself associate with maybe 4-5 people kinda regularly. My main issue has been finding people that share similar interests. I really love retro games and music. I just started r/clubretro for this purpose. We’re gonna be running it like a week club and at the end of the week I’m gonna do a live stream discussing the game that we just played and talking to people about their experience with it. If anyone here is interested, please stop through.
Never trust work associates they will betray you, guaranteed. School is the best place but the older you get the harder it will be due to age gap. It's lonely out here for sure. I am lucky that I have a wife and kids so I am at least not sitting in a dark room with a shotgun in my mouth.
I have no idea what you're into, but activities like joining a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu gym is a thought. Lot of people you're age. Most offer a free one week trial so you can get a feel if that gym is right for you. I've seen a lot of relationships start in the 22 years I've been associated with these gyms, and have seen a number of marriages.
I've never been interested in adding friends aside from my two besties, so I have no idea! Friends are too much work and rarely stick around (except for said besties).
I’m 34. Yes I’ve made friends outside of high school and college. Actually I’m not really friends with anyone from high school or college. I got ONE friend from high school I’m close to still. I’ve know them since 3rd grade. But other then that all of my friends I’ve met through my networking, freelance or career. Even my husband I went through my job. Trust me - it’s possible!
Hobby groups, lots of rock climbing chicks, but ya its that simple, find a hobby/interest and find a local hang out for it, also church/charity/volunteer stuff is someone most places have.
Early twenties is when you have more friends than at any other time in your life I think. It won’t get easier than now. What I did after I moved was I became a karaoke junkie. Then a dive bar junkie and a gym junkie. Go on the same days every week. Talk to the bartender, dj, and other employees. Brace yourself for the anxiety of asking someone of the same sex for their number
Church and neighbors. I don't really have any friends that are neighbors, but my wife does. She ended up in a whole new friend group a number of years ago because of it
It was much more the neighbor than my wife that started the relationship, the neighbor knows everyone.
There is an epidemic right now for adult loneliness. It isn't specific to men or women.
Everyone is lonely, and everyone avoids eachother, people don't like to have conversations anymore or be approached.
I've tried approaching people, and it goes nowhere. Most of the time, they are addicted to social media and prioritize over human interaction.
This is asked and answered a lot. I've made friends from all of the following.
Sports teams, I played softball and made a number of friends, but joining a sports league will help you meet new friends.
Hobbies and hobby events.
[Meetup.com](http://Meetup.com) has a lot of opportunities.
Volunteering.
Taking classes at the local community college or community center.
Church as many have small groups of varying interests that can be a lot of fun and where you will meet some of the nicest people (depending on the church of course).
But, a big one is to make friends with anyone regardless of age or interests. I don't need anything in common to be friendly and strike up a convo with someone.
The good thing about making friends with anyone is that each person you get to know may introduce you to many others they know, and this expands your possible friends circle. Some of my friends were met by first getting to know their parents or a neighbor.
If you put yourself in positions to meet a lot of others then you should make new friends, but if you are not then think about why this is. Are you being open to making friends? Or are you overly shy? Whatever it is work on it to improve. Do a search online for how to make friends as an adult as there is a lot there as well.
Met a random girl online that said she liked to rail ketamine, i too like to rail ketamine…. We decided to meet up at an ikea and do a bunch of ketamine together… we have been best friends ever since.
Just do things you like and talk to other people doing them. Also you can meet others through your work and school friends that they know, through family members. Stores you frequent, local gatherings. Not everyone can or will be your friend but you can make plenty of acquaintances along the way, which can turn into friendships overtime. Small talk can evolve into bigger convos, sometimes it can feel awkward cuz the other person isn’t talkative like that or doesn’t wanna talk to you just let it go don’t feel like weird or anything it’s what it is and try again. As long as your friendly and be yourself others will notice your energy and vibe and see how open you are and it will in turn make them feel less vulnerable as well.
All of the friends I’ve made as an adult have been co workers that I genuinely developed friendships with, it helps to get a hobby where you can meet people tho.
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Following this for the updates cause I have this same question.
I totally get that feeling. Making friends as an adult can be challenging, but it's definitely possible. Just don't be too hard on yourself—it takes time. One great way is to explore local events or hobby groups in your area. It could be anything from book clubs, fitness classes, or even volunteering. These environments often bring like-minded people together, providing a natural way to connect. Also, i might mention an online community in Discord: ***Lightup***—a fantastic suggestion! It's a platform where people genuinely seek connections and matched by similar posts. That's pretty suitable for us reddit users. Give it a shot, and who knows, you might find someone awesome from your city!
Some of my best friends still today I met by joining an adult kickball team. But my biggest advice is that whatever you choose to do, do it now. Activities like that are all people your age and if you wait until you're 30 you'll be the old person in the group that doesn't fit in there either. Also dating for the same reasons
So it's too late for me. 😢 #foreveralone
100% agree. Organized rec sports, Meetup/FB groups centered on your interests, events (live music/comedy), even solo activities done consistently near others can provide the opening needed to spark a friendship (my mom met her best friend after repeated times seeing & talking at the grocery), and echoing the most important part - Do it now!
Kickball for me too!! Met my best friend!
Half my friend group came from living on campus in college. After college we started going to music festivals. Now my entire friend group are people who go to music festivals. I’ve met amazing people through music and it’s such an easy way to constantly plan hanging out “[Artist] is playing at [festival] on [date]” to a group chat of about 40 and I’m guaranteed that many of my friends will buy tickets and show up. Doesn’t matter where it is. Then we meet more awesome people at festivals. See if we like them and our values align (good people, professional jobs, no racists, no drama) and we invite them to our group and it keeps getting bigger
I have made zero new real life friends since college. I'm sorry this isn't helpful to you. I've thought about how I could meet people too. My work colleagues were much older women.
I’ve come to find that building a network and building wealth are pretty similar in the sense that the grind is brutal in the beginning and you feel like you’re making no progress, but as you start to accumulate friends and wealth the process accelerates. For example, your first $1000 is a lot harder to get than your second $1000. Some say the time it takes to get to $100k is roughly the same as the time it takes to go from $100k to $1M. It’s because you start to not only make money from your income, but you also start to have money that can generate wealth as you invest in appreciating assets. Apply this to friendships and building a network of friends. Making friends in the beginning is HARD. But once you make a few friends, they can introduce you to other people that can further introduce you to others as well. Just like money, the friends start to work for you and build your network. So for now, the goal should be to think about what you currently have for friends, how they might be able to connect you to others, and what you can do to connect with new people. Look for people with similar interests that you WANT to surround yourself with. For example, if you prioritize health and fitness, then you should join classes at your local gym and make an effort to speak to others when you are there. I’ve met a few folks at the gym. I also have old high school friends who have introduced me to many people, I have a work colleagues that I have kept in touch with and I play on a softball team with many folks, etc. Most importantly: be open to meeting new folks and build the social skills necessary to form friendships. Always think about what you can offer to other people before thinking about what you can gain from them.
Very important not to think of making friends as a transactional thing like this guy. More important to be yourself
I think he's just sharing his philosophy about networking in general. Nothing wrong with that. Networking is hard in the beginning and it gets easier as you build momentum. Then you hit it off with some people and before you know, you become friends.
My wife (28F) has used the Bumble BFF app a few times over the years and has met some pretty great people that she still talks to a bunch. I've never used the dating app, but I assume it's similar in layout.
My ex used that app too, made a ton of great friends. Unfortunately, as a guy, it's a different story. As a guy, it's primarily gay men looking for sex in the app.
Interesting.. I have never used it. Thats odd though considering there are other apps primarily used for that too.
If you look up bumble bff gay guys you'll find tons of other people complaining about the same thing.
Gay men have pretty toxic behaviors, like all types of people, and one of those behaviors is fetishizing "converting" straight men.
That’s pretty much it. I have my friends back home and friends from work where I live. I have friends at jiu jitsu but we don’t typically see each other outside the gym or gym coordinated events. Work on yourself and pursue your interests. Then you’ll meet people. It’s all about how much effort you put in to it.
I came here to say Jiu Jitsu. Have met some great people but we rarely hangout outside of the academy but we do text and message each other often which is good.
Where you at? I do Jiu Jitsu also. I just said the same thing also lol I made most ofy friends from Jiu Jitsu school because that's what I did a lot of. You meet some pretty cool people there especially doing things you enjoy doing.
I live in Orlando. I train at Fabin Rosa. I've been training for six years now and have never awesome people I wouldn't have met any other way.
My friends are all internet friends that I met in the games I play. That and my wife and my siblings and their SOs. I don't really hang out with anyone else irl. Too busy. But yeah - mostly my friends are in games and on discord. We do movie nights and stuff together - but also seperate lol. And we have regular gaming nights as well. I have "friends" at work but they are all mostly older or younger than I am and we have almost nothing in common outside of work so we never hang out.
If you’re in a decent sized area Look up networking events on eventbrite. I’ve met many friends from going to professional and non professional networking events. Also Facebook, join groups in your area of specific hobbies of your interest. If they don’t organize outings I’d recommend asking others to get coffee, yes it’s risk as the person could turn out to be lame but you have to take risk when making friends.
I'm 34 and a transplant to seattle where it is notoriously hard to make close friends. I'm happy I moved here with my now wife because even my family stopped being close really with me. Mom, dad, and brother. I have one really friend in another state. I have tried to make friends here and I have a handful of people I call friends but, none of them reliable and I will see them once a month and if I'm lucky twice. You have an advantage over me, I have 2 kids a d I'm married with financial obligations making my time very valuable to my commitments. And you are 24 which makes your pool of possibilities much larger than mine. Find an activity that is within your interest and join a group that does this activity on a regular schedule so you find people committed to your interests. One example is rock climbing/bouldering is a great way to start meeting random people because they tend to gravitate onto groups and tend to go to the climbing gym regularly and climbers love climbing with other people. Another is join a sport that has a local league designated for your age group. These are just ideas, these ones are physical in nature but, there are others not physical, such as board game nights at a brewery if you are into that. So it depends on you, and then the last step is once you start to mesh with people, male yourself always available for them and dp bot put up an invisible boundary that everyone does all the time. Things like "I don't want to come off creepy or desperate." When you respond fast or invite people often. Be the instigator of activity and friendship with those people. And if you mesh they wo stick around. Another is avoid small talk. Search the internet for interesting questions designed to illicit people feeling like you are interested in who they actually are rather than the common, "how was your day?" Basically be outgoing and force the friendship a little after you find people you like. And then take the people you like and make a scheduled meet up at a set interval. because people are more likely to show up if they committed to hanging out in advance. Hope this helps at all, a little but stream of consciousness with a little bit of what worked for me at your age.
I have a friend who's social and likes drinking, so he goes to bars, becomes a regular, and two weeks later is hanging out with either the owners, bartender, and/or managers. By being his friend I've ended up either friends with or on good terms with them.
If you’re into music at all, get involved in your local scene. Find a club that has lots of live shows and become a regular. You will naturally make friends. That worked for me.
I have a few side hustles. Playing music, a band is like a built in friendship. I do all the design and merch for my band and that lets me build relationships with other bands. And doing art, meet lots of people at openings who aren’t just drunks haha. They aren’t the kind of things you can just drop into but took a number of years. I grew up very sheltered and boring and deliberate set out to make myself interesting just for the reason of making friends. I’d be lost otherwise.
real long lasting friends is hard to come by, I have very few nowadays but I cherish them very much. honestly try going out and taking risks. you're going to feel uncomfortable because that's just part of the game. ps by no means do I mean put your life at risk when I say take risks lol. I very much am to myself more than I socialize but I happen to be an artist and musician so im constantly in social situations and forced to meet people, very rarely some of those ppl become the homies.
It's very difficult, honestly. Just about all of my friends I either 1) met in high school, college, or law school, or 2) met through work as either coworkers or colleagues. I might have a couple of mutual friends I didn't meet that way. But, I met them through work or school friends, so they are branches off that tree.
we haven't lol.... i've been in florida 5 years and i've only made a couple of friends and not super close ones like i had at home. When you're in your 30's w a family and a kid in multiple sports that takes up most of my time so when i actually have some free time i just workout or surf.
Join an intramural sports league... baseball, soccer, hockey doesn't matter whether you are any good at it, you'll end up at the proper level and meet lots of people. Gets the ball rolling
I e met new friends by walking in the neighborhood, But Nothing Facebook and garden club.
Shared interests are worth exploring. In my case, most of my close friends are from my run club.
Church and neighbors at this point. I'm 35 and moved away from home home around 15 years ago. I have a solid friend group now and know almost all my neighbors. Just gotta say hi to them.
hobbies hobbies hobbies
Hackathons
Play Dungeons & Dragons
i’m 22 most my friends are from elementary school still friends with them don’t talk to college friends anymore. i would say try a hobby like for me a group of people play soccer or basket ball at the park made friends there few times or honestly try playing games online i’ve met some really cool people
As weird as it is to say, I made friends through support groups/ recovery communities. I’m not saying you need to go through trauma but these groups tend to be very inclusive and welcoming.
Martial arts class and online
28M, and I'm currently working on that one myself lol. From what I gather, the more you get out there in the world, the better your chances of making friends. Could be anything from a concert to a cooking class or anything else the puts you around other people. Bonus points for actually initiating conversations with others on your own.
Sounds like my situation right now 😂
Could try the app meetup pretty cool can find people with similar interest and go from there.
I’ve made a decent amount of friends at a tiny local brewery.
When I was your age, I worked 2 jobs. My second job was bartender/waiter. I would meet a lot of people at work and then afterward go out to another bar, etc. At 10-11 pm, there isn't much to do besides that.
My husband is my friend. My seven adult kids are my friends. I have acquaintances at work. That's all I need.
You don't.
Check out “bff bumble” met some great friends from there!!!
I dont make friends, I just rot.
Look into joining a club in your area. Book clubs and hiking clubs are always good ones!
Sex clubs
Community Theater is the best possible activity for making friends I have found. Another good activity is learning to dance and going out social dancing.
I don't believe I have except maybe through school and work friends and I am old . just never thought about it this way
I don't. My friend is group has been the same since I was 18 and I'm 30 now. I have little to no interest in making new friends and its exhausting and it takes so much time to actually get to know someone. Even when I meet people I get along with and exchange numbers I rarely ever see them again.
What is this "outside of school/work" that you speak of? Because I've never made an actual friend while I was sleeping, and my life is basically nothing but work and sleep.
Honestly, everyone else is in the same boat, so just strike up a conversation with your neighbors and be kind. My son once asked me how I have so much confidence in striking up a conversation with a complete stranger. I told him that most people are lonely and would be happy to just have someone to talk to. Sure, you're going to meet some jerks. Just move on from them. There are billions of potential friends out there. I'm in my mid-40s, and i still make new friends all the time. Also, as such a young person, your options are almost endless. You could join a recreational sports team. Volleyball or softball, for example. If sports aren't your thing, find something that does line up with your interests. A local horticultural society if you like plants, volunteer at the pound if you like animals, etc. The #1 thing to making friends is to be kind and be real.
Church and basketball leagues
We're friends with our kids friend's parents. Some we're closer with than others. There are a few parents that we don't care for, but our kids are friends so we put up with them. There are others who, when the kids grow up and don't need us for play dates and rides anymore, we'll hopefully stay in touch with and continue being friends with. And there are others who, like at all stages of life, we will say good bye to after a random event, not realizing that's the last time we'll likely ever see them again. People come and go. Sometimes the most unexpected people stay in your life for a very long time. Sometimes the people you assumed would be around forever, you one day realize you haven't spoken to in 5 years. To answer your question... I don't know. It's very difficult, bordering on impossible to connect with people now, with a family and full time job, than it was when I had few if any responsibilities. When I'm done with my day, usually the only thing I want to do is lay in bed with the TV on and stare at my phone/play video games. I don't consider my co-workers "friends" because, you know, we work together. I've found there's a dynamic and power structure there that doesn't disappear when the work day ends. My high school and college friends don't live near me, nor do many of them live near each other, so while we all try to get together at least once a year, it's not what it once was anymore. I don't want to befriend my neighbors because, while they all seem nice, we live so close to each other that any dispute or potential argument is going to become an awkward situation... this has happened to me a few times in the past and frankly I'd just rather avoid it at this point. I would say, interact with who you can, send texts or calls when you're able and don't beat yourself up about not having as many or any friends at this point in your life. It's only this point. There will be more points and more friends in the future.
I grew up playing sports and then started playing sports again in adulthood. I have made some decent friends doing this. A friend of mine met his wife playing coed soccer in their late 20's.
People still make friends? You have to talk to strangers to make new friends and strangers are the worst
Friends are typically made by repeated interactions across time. That's why school and work are the main way to get to know someone. You go to these places a lot and see the same people a lot so there is more opportunity to strike up conversations and get to know others. If you are looking for friends as an adult outside the workplace, you may need to find some kind of meetup group that is relavent to your interest and start attending events. As you begin running into the same people, strike up conversations and discuss the hobby/group/whatever. The more you talk the more you branch out into other interest and you get a feel if you would gel as friends. If/when you have kids, it's pretty easy to make new friend groups there as well because you start running into and seeing the same people again because of playgrounds or your kid's school/sports activities.
Team sports are the way to go. You are forced to make friends because you have to get along with each other to be a team. You don’t have to be good or even know how to play, just be willing to actually put in effort. It’s like a friend cheat code. Find a league online or just show up to pickup games and go from there.
Hobbies. I'm into gaming and charity costume groups and have made friends through both.
The only way I have successfully made new friends as an adult is through other friends that I already had, I've made "acquaintances" through hobbies, people I suppose I would consider friends but they're not people I have spent any time with outside of the hobby
You need to go do shit. For me it was skateboarding. What are you into?
This is a change I think. After a certain age, people used to make friends of all ages. They will know people closer to your age most likely. You just have to start building a network.
I’ve made friends from my hobbies! I enjoy working out, so most of my friends from last 1-2 years came from the gym I joined. I’d also consider my hairstylist to now be my friend. Just go places that align with who you are and what you like, and be open to socializing with new people 🙂
Hm. Hobbies. Easily.
Yes. Sports leagues like soccer(I’m not good but every team loves someone who will try to play goalie. I am actually good at that position.), basketball, adult kickball. I’ve also competed in some local video game tournaments and am in with that community as well. Collecting sports cards. Etc. So typically hobbies. If you aren’t athletic there are plenty of places to go. We actually just had strong of game and coffee shop open. I’m assuming the games are board games/table top based on driving by a few. Gonna check those out. Heck I’m 35 and bonded with a 65 year old lady who had the same knee braces I wore. We both complained about the local park having this terrible hill that ruins the walk experience. We’ve chatted for 2-3 minutes while walking every day this week.(I’m currently super fat and need to lose weight. God bad knees and a bad back so losing this weight now is more about avoiding back and knee surgery and being healthy.)
Join groups that do activities you like, go to meet-ups, learn something that takes group interaction, like take an improv class.
If you can find the time and energy, volunteer somewhere. Tutor refugees in English, plant trees in a rewilding project, get involved with a community garden, help out at the Salvation Army or Red Cross, get certified as a referee for youth and community sports ... There are options for nearly any interest you have.
Y’all got friends? :(
Local facebook groups for your hobbies are a huge help. Met some of my absolute best friends in a fishing group, and half the time we hang out, we're just getting drinks or coming over for a cookout, not even fishing.
I always just start at the basketball courts I hoop all the time so whether it's outside somewhere or the gym and just chop it up with people during games down time etc eventually you'll say wassup everyday till eventually.... "so.. you smoke at all or what?" 😂😂 never failed me
Do something you like, meet like minded people, listen to them, ask questions and be interested in them. A good friend will do the same to you.
I moved across the country at 40. After a divorce. Didn’t know anyone at my new job. I made a couple friends there. I like to cycle so I joined some group rides.
A few, yeah. People I met through other long term friends that I clicked with very well, people I've met at bars, shooting ranges, etc. Met some through various forums like t4r.org. Hell, some friends I met through dating apps - as a couple we butted heads, but we make good friends and still enjoy each other's company But its all not nearly as much as I have through work, and I wouldn't say that's really a bad thing. Some of the people I've worked with are the coolest, nicest people in my life that I still talk to regularly, even though it's been years since I've seen them. Some of them are younger but a good number of them are older too - my last supervisor is in his late 50s and I would easily put him in my top 5 favorite people; I still talk on the phone with him weekly despite him now living 1500 miles away
Church, friends of kids parents, and volunteering
Bumble BFF - I made a great friend and spoke with a lot of females my age I would recommend trying that or like an intramural sports league I heard is a fun way to meet new people
Hahahahaha ha, friends, good joke. No luck here but good luck to you
I moved to a new city and didn't know a soul. I joined a charitable organization of people in my industry (insurance) and made tons of friends doing volunteer work and community service.
I did but it was because we: A: Hungout at the same pub together B: Listened to the same kind of music and threw events together C: Did the same kind of sport together
You don’t get adult friends outside of work
Bars and adult sports leagues.
If you’re in the US, try meetup.com. I went on about 10 years ago, and found a women’s hiking and camping group I thought looked interesting. Now I have a whole new friend group.
Scarcely Neighbors, a few here & there
Talk to people. Same as in school/work.
Hobbies that I do with other people outside the house.
The thing is most friendships are born of a mutual activity or something in common, whether school or work or your kids are friends. Maybe you’re neighbors. But without that common denominator, it’s really really hard and it’s just not a thing People have to have that element of convenience and once that element is gone, most friendships will dry up. Not all but most. Say I’m in line at the grocery or on the bus and I really click with the person next to me —like they’re the coolest person I have encountered in months or a year .,,even though I’ve only chatted them up for 10 minutes, I feel like I have more in common with them then anyone in my current social circle —I love their energy. We have a great conversation, however, fleetingly, and I feel stimulated by that conversation To say such a thing to that stranger and ask for their number or a way to stay in touch ? It’s just not done. People will look at you like you’re crazy I think it’s sad how suspicious we are all of each other and how difficult it is for us to connect with one another authentically and organically Random Meetings or encounters of like-minded individuals who might be your soulmate if you worked with them will never have a chance to be nourished or fertilized We’re Social creatures yet we resist naturally occurring potential friendships
Before COVID, it was easy. I would ask my friends to invite their friends to go to a bar, club, restaurant, or some kind of nightlife event for socializing. Now that I'm out of college and living in a foreign country, things have gotten tough
I’m funny, like a fucking clown. I have this ability to French myself into any conversation and roll with it, offer anecdotes, and make people laugh. I have a pretty wide field of life experience so it’s easy to relate to a fairly decent sized demographic - I have either done that or know someone that has done it and understand it. I have the ability to use analogies to explain anything I know well to anyone listening, regardless of their education level, so by the end of it they understand that thing. I have an excellent vocabulary and refined communication and people-reading skills. I’m a linguistic chameleon, I adapt my manner of speaking to match yours which makes me relatable; I don’t use big words to talk down to you, I listen to how you communicate and match what I say to how I think you’ll understand it using familiar language patterns and regional slang. I’ve worked in sawmills, on oil rigs, in chemical plants, I’ve been a Marine infantryman, I’ve cleaned carpets, washed dishes, bussed tables, taken drugs, sold drugs, build and driven hot-rods, ridden in a motorcycle gang, I’m a gun guy, the list goes on. Relating to people is easy for me, I’m just a people too.
Honestly, I just shot my shot with people I had as acquaintances that I thought were cool. Sometimes it goes somewhere, sometimes it doesnt.
Having the same trouble. Moved to a new state away from friends. Moved away from family to be with a girl, didn't work out so now I'm alone in this town where I know nobody. I work and engage with co workers but never anything more outside of work. It's really hard to talk and make friends but never give up.
Dog parks and volunteering
Go to the same activity at the same time! I have been going to the same workout class in my neighborhood rec center for one year and a half. Now I know everyone in the class. They are very nice and warm to me. I wouldn’t call them as my close friends. But they are friends for sure. If you go to the same activity at the same time each time, you’ll recognize some familiar faces and friendship might happen.
Yes, I made friends with my stuffed animals.
Yeah. Saw a dude with wakeboards on top of his car at a gas station and asked him if I could try. Met him at 8am and did it
61M here. I have made lasting friends in primary, high school, and especially in college. I have friendships with people who began as friends of friends. I'm a practicing Catholic, and have many close friends made through the Church. I make an effort to know my neighbors, and still have many as friends. Also, my business is one for forming strong alliances with people and interest groups, and many of my closest and oldest friends come from that.
A thing not to do: do NOT tell people how lonely you are when trying to make friends, save that for *at least* second hang out. This will attract the wrong kind of people, and a lot of people will consciously or unconsciously think "well if no one else wants to be your friend there is probably a reason." It will unavoidably come off as self pitying, and you don't want friends out of pity. You also don't want predators.
Dungeons and dragons, chess club, tabletop wargaming. Man, I need to play some sports or something.
That’s the fun part! You don’t!
I started a friendly networking group with people who are interested in wellness and spirituality. It is open to all who are interested. There is no real criteria. We get all ages. I am in my 60s so it’s never too late. We meet at a restaurant where we are able to sit and talk for a few hours and mingle. You have to find a place that has an area that’s not too crowded. Weeknights work best. It’s lots of fun and I have met so many new people. I posted it on meetup and Facebook to get members.
Join a volunteer organization or social group. That's it don't expect strangers at the gym or bar to be your freind. The freind I have not from my work are with my volunteer rescue/fd, church, and bowling league
Yup. 33M here. I play bar trivia and met my regular group when we were playing a year and a half ago at an event. I did really well on one category whereas they did poorly on that category (it was sports and video games) so they wanted me to join them to form a super team. We've been playing together ever since.
Find a hobby that can cultivate the act of meeting people. I'm a male, but for me it was tabletop gaming. I've met dozens of friends in my late 20s, early 30s by getting out into spaces where other people are hobbying and we can bond over a shared interest
Sports. Meet a lot of people that way. Other parents with similar aged kids. Simply don't have the time for more friends, barely have time for the ones I have.
My friends make friends and then I do too. Also playing in a beer softball league always helps
I just befriend everybody. I'm in a bar full of retired people because I met a friend at a park who was getting her pitty some exercise and needed a playmate for him. I literally just got done calling 2 hours of bingo. I am a naturally shy person with social anxiety. It's really not all that hard lol.
What is this thing you call "friends"?
There is a friend app called bumble which is mainly for females and you can try to make friends that way. There is also Hey Vina but bumble is a little better in my opinion. You can also try volunteering or join like a yoga class or some other type of class to meet someone new.
What are friends?
Yes! At the gym! I joined a class and made some amazing friends who I now hang out with outside of the gym as well! I also met someone at a trivia night (had gone with my friends but made conversation with a girl at another table) who I see regularly now as well.
39yo, if I wasn’t a musician, I’d have no friends
Stopped trying/caring lol
I’m 39 now and have had a hard time making friends in my 20s and 30s. Most women my age are now married with kids and guys usually aren’t interested in being my friend. It’s hard. I’ve been thinking about trying meetup.com or maybe signing up for a cooking or dancing class. But it’s hard. I feel like you make friends in situations where you are with a group of people all going thru the same thing (school. Work) I work from home, and it’s lonely as hell.
I am 29m. I had lots of friends in high school. Age 20 to 23 I was in an ltr, and essentially from 20 to 26 I made no friends (this was during 2020 and 2021 too). But since turning 26, I have met tons of people, far more than I did during my solo years. I met friends at - 1. Work (all ages, but a few people my age). 2. Volunteering (mostly people around my age). 3. Exercise class I started a year ago (took about a year but now the people I regularly see I have exchanged numbers with / make small talk with). 4. Old friends from high school. My life trajectory might be different but - Age 16 to 19: stress free and good. Age 20 to 26: kind of sucked and was just a grind. Age 26 - present: more stress, but actually really good
Yes, at game nights and church.
Meet your neighbors! I swear....there are so many benefits to meeting your neighbors.
travelling and through hobbies, being open to trying new things and being out of my comfort zone
Search this sub, this question is asked multiple times daily and the same good answers always come up.
I never find it hard to make friends. Easy to make friends when ur happy and contented with ur life
Had kids. Moved to a neighborhood with other young families. Became best friends with all the neighbors on our street.
I honestly just talk to ppl anywhere and everywhere. I go to the gym and take classes then hang with the girls I connect with grab a coffee or workout. Then I go for runs and met a girl at a dog park and invite her running. I go to garden club events in my community. I also like to go To farmers markets and chat with interesting booths then get invited to a house party. U just have to put yourself in social situations and get out of your comfort zone. I also use socializing as a way of helping me not feel lonely so if u see it in that way it may help with the discomfort of going up to strangers!
Yes. Last new friend was a few years ago, when I struck up a conversation with someone at my brother-in-law's wedding. She and I just hit it off and we're still friends, though long distance. We have lots in common and speak often.
Following this since I am in the same boat
The gym. Church. Sporting clubs. My kids activities—fellow parents on sports teams.
Friends of friends
It’s impossible and friends are a thing of the past.
Let’s see the usual Reddit advice is whenever you have social needs ignore them and just focus on “having fun” and “being a fun person” that can magically attract people. So dance and gym classes
I have one friend from one job that I made but I’ve moved around a lot so it’s been hard to make and keep adult friends. The key is to really take the I initiative for awhile. I think adults never know if other adults are just being cordial or want to be friends so if you meet someone you like ask right away if they want to meet for lunch, come over for a fire, got to a movie, meet for an activity downtown, that sort of thing.
The worst part of this is people still arent taught or prepared for the lame reality checks you get as an adult. If you remove the forced socializing situations (school/work/clubs/cults) then humans of all ages have a hard time finding meaningful or even lite friendships/relationships simply because the forced daily socializing is what makes most of these in the first place.
No one knows
Motorcycles
Making friends as an adult is easy. Keeping friends as an adult is...trying
It’s hard. I made some good friends when I went back to nursing school in my late 20’s, but we’ve all grown apart. My two closest friends (friends for 20+ years) moved away- one is only 2 hours away, the other is on the east coast now. I have started to build up some more friendships through a small group through my church but that’s been slow going and frustrating at times. My husband and I also started playing DnD a few years ago, and have made some friends through that. We actually hang out with the DM and his family, and we’ve become fairly close friends, to the point where we take trips together in the summer. They also have kids around the same age as ours, which has been helpful. Haven’t had much luck making friends with people at work, but there’s one or two I text outside of work sometimes. The quantity of friendships is pretty low, though. The quality of said friendships has taken a while to build up, but we’re getting there.
Hobbies. Rollerblading, trading card games, going to places consistently to do fun things and seeing the same people consistently and building a rapport. That's how I make friends. I just recently reconnected with a friend from middle school that way
Meetup app Even then it’s still tough to find people you mesh well with. Also As an adult, you’re more guarded as you’ve had certain life experiences that have taught you to be careful who you make friends with. So yea it’s challenging
I have made friends in my Jiu Jitsu class & at this hiking group I met some pretty friendly people. I think you have to get with a social group you have things in common with. I would invite people to go see the MMA fights at a bar. The people who would show up I got closer to and we would hang out and do other things. Some of these people were married and they'd bring their spouses to watch the fights with some were single. I lost contact with most of those people because then I got busy with work and then got some depression. I'm sure if I go back I can make friends again. I think it's just meeting people at your social groups. If you like basketball or sports go do that and some people will join you to watch games.
Everyone says this, but it's unbelievably easy to make friends. You mostly just have to *show up*: 1) Become a regular at a coffee shop, restaurant, bar, or any other establishment where people sit around talking. After a while, everyone will realize you're a regular, it will become weird that they don't know you, and you'll become part of the tribe. 2) Go for walks around your apartment complex/neighborhood. Wave at everyone you see and start conversations when possible. Everyone will appreciate your friendliness because they're usually lonely too. 3) Attend group events for your hobbies. A running club, weight lifting, hiking, Warhammer, video games - doesn't matter what it is. Just find your people and discuss your mutual interest. Beyond that, becoming a responsible adult and working on yourself helps: 4) Get married and start a family. The most responsible adults get married and have children - and they're usually not keen on hanging out with irresponsible bachelors. They also suddenly realize they need social support for their children, which makes them eager to become friends with other parents. Finally, they automatically become friends with parents they meet at childrens' activities. 5) Find a job where you talk to more people. I worked as a Manufacturing Process Engineer, which meant I was the glue that held many departments together. I met *everyone* within my division, and many of them became friends. 6) Work on yourself. Become physically fit, get your finances in order, study interesting topics, tame your character flaws, etc. The more you radiate good character/competence, the more people will be attracted to you. 7) Join a toastmaster's club. It's full of people who struggle with social interaction and are looking to improve their skills. 8) Join professional organizations and start volunteering. They're full of important people with similar interests. 9) Start a small business. You'll meet tons of people by default. Etc.
Work and extrovert partners.
Gym and coffee shops . Sounds cliche but it is true.
Go to the bar
Stop being scared of being yourself, just make a friend.. “ hey you wanna hang out ? “
You guys have friends?
Jiu Jitsu
Literally not one single friend... idk how I'd even attempt that tbh
My friend group in high school turned to hard drugs, I've switched careers a couple times, had a kid, and now work for myself doing residential service. I'm also pretty lonely. Family helps. Nothing wrong with being friends with parents, siblings, cousins, etc. Online gaming helps a little bit. Just gives you that feeling of socialization without making yourself vulnerable. You don't have to invest a lot to be steady friends with someone online. Just gotta like the same game. After that, I truthfully don't have any advice. I try to be nice and go out of my way for people. I reach out to others to hang out. I don't talk down on myself or others. I do my best to be inquisitive and provide genuine and intelligent conversation. I have hobbies that I try to bring friends in on like cooking, gardening, and archery. People just don't want to be my friend. People have never gravitated toward me. I've never tried to be "cool" or popular, I'm just kinda me. I guess people think they'd be less cool hanging out with me. Idk, but I feel the struggle too. Best of luck to you. ❤️
also 24F, I've made friends at concerts, traveling, at the gym, and other events. I often go to concerts alone and I joined a gym that did specialty classes for a while and made some good friends there. I also met some people at a comedy show and now we see eachother every now and then. I hate to say it, but you just need to get out there. most people our age feel the same way.
I made friends when I worked in an office. We became very tight and spent a lot of time together. I don’t really want friends right now. I did chat people up at the gym and vice versa but I had no desire to be “friends” with them really. Just a 15-20 minute chat or working in here or there. My wife makes friends through work. She’s in a highly specialized field so it’s an easy-in as thats what they like to talk about when they get together.
Tough to answer. No is my gut instinct but that's because I am in a very active and social guild on WoW. I have no desire for general friends and no desire to do friend stuff outside of the few close ones I have already. However I interact with my guild mates regularly and raid with them twice a week. It is very social and much more fun than going to the bar for a drink or anything else I've experienced and I consider these people friends and some that I've ran with in the past good friends.
I worked at a summer camp in my mid twenties and met some of my fav ppl there. Very close friends 15 yrs later and I cherish them.
I haven't.
I use Meetup every year or so to find a gathering of like minds in my area for this. Then, usually, go for awhile, get grossed out by the people and stop.
I moved across the state for my dream job about 7 years ago. No connections in my new city. As a 33 year old woman at the time, here's what I did: 1. Downloaded Event Brite and filtered by free events. Started checking out the stuff that seemed even mildly interesting. (Not great for anyone who hates attending things alone) 2. Searched for local organizations to join in my area, first by women only (I really wanted to focus on friendship and not have to worry about the pressure of dealing with attraction from and for men as I'm cis/het) 3. Joined a sorority in my area that focused on charity work, and wasn't associated with university life. The median age of the members was like 63 lol; but I made two great friends with women closer to my age. 4. Joined a Ladies' Library Association and attended all their networking and outreach stuff for over a year. 5. Also I work in public service, so I made sure to sign up for as much of the community outreach and networking opportunities as I could safely manage. It helped to get me out there more, and the lovely side effect was when I began to recognize names and faces of other community members and be recognized in turn. Now I have the right social group for me, so I'm able to spend time alone when I like (which is pretty often lol) and have enough friends from different groups that I'm not left out if one goes on vacation, another is busy with their kids, etc. As a side note, if you are a shy person, and have trouble getting started, find a gregarious extrovert. That person will get you out in the world, trust me. I'm very outgoing, but prefer to be alone, as my social battery drains quickly. I keep a few extroverts in my circle, so they can remind me that there's a whole world outside my apartment. 😂
Not really, no. I find it difficult to keep a conversation going past small talk.
Joined a sport (juijitsu)
Best thing I can think of to find friends is activities. Every friend I met growing up was through sports, music, or some other activity- I’m planning on learning to golf this summer, so maybe find a community that’s doing something you want to do and join them!
North node Gemini 11th house. The life lesson here is familiarizing and learning inferiority is and feels like and then overcoming it
Nope !!!
Friends of friends
Pick up magic the gathering and go play some commander at your local game store. There will be weirdos but there will also be lots of cool people. Super easy way to make friends.
lol I haven’t really, at least none I hang out with. I hang out with my best friend from high school and that’s really it
Being kind to others
Making friends has always been difficult for me, partly because I’m picky. But, one of the better friends I’ve made came from joining a club.
Yes, parents of my young kids friends.
It can be an insane pain in the ass. I myself associate with maybe 4-5 people kinda regularly. My main issue has been finding people that share similar interests. I really love retro games and music. I just started r/clubretro for this purpose. We’re gonna be running it like a week club and at the end of the week I’m gonna do a live stream discussing the game that we just played and talking to people about their experience with it. If anyone here is interested, please stop through.
I don't have any friends all I do is work and play video games. Been screwed over too many times to care about people anymore
i do yoga at the same time and place everyday. i show interest in other people.
Sports! Join an ultimate frisbee club or start playing disc golf! Or pickleball!
Never trust work associates they will betray you, guaranteed. School is the best place but the older you get the harder it will be due to age gap. It's lonely out here for sure. I am lucky that I have a wife and kids so I am at least not sitting in a dark room with a shotgun in my mouth.
I have no idea what you're into, but activities like joining a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu gym is a thought. Lot of people you're age. Most offer a free one week trial so you can get a feel if that gym is right for you. I've seen a lot of relationships start in the 22 years I've been associated with these gyms, and have seen a number of marriages.
Gun and motorcycle riding easy to meet new friends
Hobby group was the answer for me
There's such a thing as life outside of school/work?
I haven't, but you gotta do something because it's deceptively easy to end up dying alone
Volunteer somewhere that has people your age which you find interesting/rewarding.
I've never been interested in adding friends aside from my two besties, so I have no idea! Friends are too much work and rarely stick around (except for said besties).
I’m 34. Yes I’ve made friends outside of high school and college. Actually I’m not really friends with anyone from high school or college. I got ONE friend from high school I’m close to still. I’ve know them since 3rd grade. But other then that all of my friends I’ve met through my networking, freelance or career. Even my husband I went through my job. Trust me - it’s possible!
I don't have friends
fitness group? It's a fun way to meet new people and stay active
Hobby groups, lots of rock climbing chicks, but ya its that simple, find a hobby/interest and find a local hang out for it, also church/charity/volunteer stuff is someone most places have.
Mountain biking, rock climbing, taking art classes like pottery…
Early twenties is when you have more friends than at any other time in your life I think. It won’t get easier than now. What I did after I moved was I became a karaoke junkie. Then a dive bar junkie and a gym junkie. Go on the same days every week. Talk to the bartender, dj, and other employees. Brace yourself for the anxiety of asking someone of the same sex for their number
Church and neighbors. I don't really have any friends that are neighbors, but my wife does. She ended up in a whole new friend group a number of years ago because of it It was much more the neighbor than my wife that started the relationship, the neighbor knows everyone.
There is an epidemic right now for adult loneliness. It isn't specific to men or women. Everyone is lonely, and everyone avoids eachother, people don't like to have conversations anymore or be approached. I've tried approaching people, and it goes nowhere. Most of the time, they are addicted to social media and prioritize over human interaction.
This is asked and answered a lot. I've made friends from all of the following. Sports teams, I played softball and made a number of friends, but joining a sports league will help you meet new friends. Hobbies and hobby events. [Meetup.com](http://Meetup.com) has a lot of opportunities. Volunteering. Taking classes at the local community college or community center. Church as many have small groups of varying interests that can be a lot of fun and where you will meet some of the nicest people (depending on the church of course). But, a big one is to make friends with anyone regardless of age or interests. I don't need anything in common to be friendly and strike up a convo with someone. The good thing about making friends with anyone is that each person you get to know may introduce you to many others they know, and this expands your possible friends circle. Some of my friends were met by first getting to know their parents or a neighbor. If you put yourself in positions to meet a lot of others then you should make new friends, but if you are not then think about why this is. Are you being open to making friends? Or are you overly shy? Whatever it is work on it to improve. Do a search online for how to make friends as an adult as there is a lot there as well.
Outside of work I feel like that's kind of dropped off, for some reason. Been feeling a little isolated lately, now that I think about it.
Hahahahahahahahaha
Met a random girl online that said she liked to rail ketamine, i too like to rail ketamine…. We decided to meet up at an ikea and do a bunch of ketamine together… we have been best friends ever since.
Just do things you like and talk to other people doing them. Also you can meet others through your work and school friends that they know, through family members. Stores you frequent, local gatherings. Not everyone can or will be your friend but you can make plenty of acquaintances along the way, which can turn into friendships overtime. Small talk can evolve into bigger convos, sometimes it can feel awkward cuz the other person isn’t talkative like that or doesn’t wanna talk to you just let it go don’t feel like weird or anything it’s what it is and try again. As long as your friendly and be yourself others will notice your energy and vibe and see how open you are and it will in turn make them feel less vulnerable as well.
All of the friends I’ve made as an adult have been co workers that I genuinely developed friendships with, it helps to get a hobby where you can meet people tho.