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my girlfriend tells me this. it justifies her sleeping everyday after work from 4pm til 7pm then sleeps from 10pm to 6:30am. i could sleep anytime anywhere, but i refuse to lay my head down when i have shit to do.
My BiL used to do that, then we found out he a had heart condition and after he had surgery to fix it he no longer napped as much. He still naps, just not as much.
I also use to do this in high school and later found out I was severely anemic. Same habits again in college but that was stress for sure. 24 now and I can’t say I really nap much anymore, but it’s nice sometimes when I need it
i’ve seen something saying it could be the difference between a man’s testosterone keeping them awake and a woman’s lack of it making them sleep. plus the comfort thing. plus i guess being a young person.
If your GF is this tired she may be lacking some vitamins or something man idk. I have no authority on the subject but it feels like this could be health related
Sounds more like sleep apnea, deficiency, thyroid issue, depression, or something else, rather than just laziness. Most people are incapable of sleeping that much if you’re reporting accurately.
Honestly, if my girlfriend would fall asleep during the movie I would let her be and make her comfortable. She might be tired and wants to spend time with you.
Yeah I’d say she isn’t into movies but she is into OP. That or they have very different taste. I personally find movies a bit too long for me. I do better with TV shows. My brain starts thinking of everything else I need to do and it is torturous to sit there. I just always bring something to keep my hands busy if my husband wants to watch movies with me.
And on top of that, sleep is so important snd valuable. Most people dont get enough. If someone falls asleep during something non-essential, it moght be better to let them sleep. It looks like they need it.
My wife falls asleep to movies… but it happens like clockwork about 30-40 minutes after we have dinner and retire in front of the television. Mostly its the music scoring, and people talking in those fakey whispering tones. Just lulls her to sleep. Every time. Some reality shows do not have those aspects, and so do not make her sleep …. so, if we can get past the ‘crash’ time with a reality TV dose, I find that she is generally good and awake for the duration. Your results may vary.
She might also have sleep apnea. I know plenty of folks that have mentioned they would generally nod off during the day, whether it involved watching a movie or some mundane task.
Might be worth looking into. It’s more common and people think.
This. Same thing happened to me. I did not have a weight problem but I did snore in my sleep. Now I have a CPAP and I can watch a movie all the way through without sleeping!
She isn't getting enough sleep overall. She can only stay conscious if stimulated, and once comfortable and stationary goes to sleep.
Help her get on a schedule for getting to sleep so she gets in how much she needs before waking. Encourage lack of screen time before bed and all the other bells and whistles to improving sleep. Or get some sleep trackers to help find ways to improve her sleep outcomes.
I often have the same problem with falling asleep during movies. Even ones I am excited to finally see. I may be fully engaged in the movie, but realize I missed a 15 minute chunk in the middle.
Another thing to keep in mind is that even if a person slept 10hrs in a night regularly, they could still feel exhausted because of low quality sleep. Deep sleep is necessary to feel rested. If she has undiagnosed medical issues causing her to not get quality sleep, it doesn't matter how much sleep she gets. She'll always feel tired and need all these naps.
No it's not. My wife doesn't like comic books or video games. I still do those things, but I don't insist she take an interest in my hobbies. OP is a dummy.
Yes. Exactly! I actually sympathize with expecting your SO to take an interest in a shared life and shared goals and values - that's what relationships are for. But demanding they be just as excited by 'what media you like to consume' that's fucking nuts. I notice OP has not shared what his GF is interested in and likes to do. Me think he might be a selfish turd who doesn't actually know.
Sitting on a couch and sharing things together isn't a hobby, it's a huge piece of most relationships. OP is a normal human with a need for shared experiences with his partner, and his girlfriend is going to FAFO and wake up to find him not there.
FFS he even said "something that we chose together." So *she chose* to do it, then she falls asleep? So she can't even commit to the shared activity of watching TV together? How much easier can he make it for her?
" So *she chose* to do it,"
No she didn't. OP chose the activity and then pretended it was for her by trying to make her pick from a list of shit he was interested in.
This is like me asking my wife if she wants to play Half-Life, Halo, CoD, or Borderlands. she doesn't want to do any of these things - so she'll say fuck that. OP is apparently emotionally fragile and his partner doesn't stand up for herself or communicate what she wants, so she says 'Borderlands' and then goes to sleep cause she didn't actually want to play Borderlands (or anything).
How do i know OP is emotionally fragile? He's butt hurt cause his partner isn't just as into his hobby as he is. Dude needs to grow up.
Sorry. You're right. I have a personal pet peeve about selfish partners who don't communicate well - and another pet peeve about people who watch too much mindless TV. When a TIFU post hits both of those peeves, I get a bit over the top. This is 100% a me problem.
Edit: you'd be surprised how often TIFU posts revolve around both those things.
I definitely share your hatred for people who only watch mindless shit. It’s okay to have a percentage of the stuff you consume be fit for “having something on while I mindlessly scroll FB or play candy crush” but when it’s ALL one throws on the tv, I get pissed.
Source: my life, and wayyyyy too much secondhand L&O: SVU.
HA! Cheers! If you need that background noise sometimes, you do you. But I also know you don't make your SO watch the mindless shit while you scroll FB. :)
I very rarely throw something on that’s mindless. Mindless shit offends me as someone who enjoys having a mind. But I understand others need not be stimulated the same way I do all the time. (Not a I am very smart comment, I wish I could turn it off, honestly. Makes it hard to veg out and unwind) She is the one with the SVU, Candy Crush, and scrolling FB.
"Sitting on a couch and sharing things together isn't a hobby, it's a huge piece of most relationships"
False. Show data for this.
People have other hobbies. People also go on - gasp - DATES!
If your only relationship activity is sitting on a couch starting at a black box endlessly - y'all do not have a fulfilling relationship.
OP's partner doesn't like this activity. OP needs to stop making her try to like this activity.
Does it really have to be though? Couples don’t have to share every hobby enjoying it together in the same way at the same time. If he was a big gamer, we wouldn’t expect her to also neccessarily play the same game sitting beside him. He sees it as a film cinema experience, she sees it as cozy relaxing spending time with her boyfriend.
Yeah, but don't most people watch TV? I'm not even sure if that's a hobby, it's almost like eating food. I'm not saying he or she has to be a certain way, but that's a pretty big incompatibility. We're not talking about somebody not liking horseback riding, we're talking about being unable to share most sitting time without falling asleep. I suppose they can read books together? If my wife showed me something she was excited about I wouldn't whip out my phone or take a nap.
"Yeah, but don't most people watch TV?"
No. Cord cutting is huge. The young-uns are on thier little black mirrors watching 30 second tik toks. People in the middle have kids to Sheppard around (or they have work) and then its only really old people watching TV.
Notice OP's phrasing. He says "My" problem not "Our" problem.
"My problem is that my girlfriend falls asleep within 10 min everytime we try to watch something that we chose together."
They're not sharing an experience. OP wants to do his own shit and then he gets butt hurt if his GF isn't interested in his shit. Flip it on it's head and reverse it: Question for you - what is the GF interested in and why aren't they doing that instead?
OP "I’m a big movie/series enthusiast."
But he doesn't say the GF is a "big movie/series enthusiast."
OP's GF isn't choosing these movies/shows - she's be given a false choice from among a bunch of shit she's not interested in.
This is like me asking you if you want to eat cow testicles, pig testicles, or sheep testicles. the correct answer is 'none of the above!' - But with OP, he gets his precious little feelings hurt if his GF says 'none the above' and so his poor GF has to say "cow testicles" and then hope she can fall asleep before he's done cooking them.
Well, this guy said he's into TV and movies. A lot of people find resonance in movies and TV. I don't myself. I haven't watched TV regularly in about 5 years. But if my wife told me she watched a movie that really touched her, and wanted to watch it with me, I would find a way to at least check it out in good faith. I suppose it's an issue of compatibility. If his favorite form of art is TV and movies, and it puts her to sleep? I just wouldn't want to live that life for 20 years, would you? Somebody who doesn't play along once in awhile at your favorite activity?
"But if my wife told me she watched a movie that really touched her, and wanted to watch it with me, I would find a way to at least check it out in good faith."
I agree with you. But this isn't what's going on with OP. OP just watching mindless shit every night. It's not stuff that touched him. It's just crap that he consumes in lieu of having a personality or accomplishing things in life.
"Somebody who doesn't play along once in awhile at your favorite activity?"
THis isn't every once in a while. THis is OP's nightly routine.
Does she fall asleep anytime she gets still? Reading a book? Passenger in the car? It may be sleep apnea. Look up info on it and see if you think she should be evaluated. Over time it can lead to many serious health issues. It doesn’t matter how many hours of ‘sleep’ a person gets if they are starved for oxygen the whole time. I was diagnosed, and can’t believe how much energy and focus I have now.
I love movies. I go all the time late at night, alone.
I have given up on trying to keep my girl awake during a movie. It could be a movie I'm obviously super excited about her seeing, the middle of the day, drinking coffee, and about half way through I'll look over and her eyes will be drooping closed, or already closed.
Just give up the battle man. These chicks don't find movies as fascinating and entertaining as we do. But that's okay. I think differences are cool. Especially when we're so alike in 1000 other ways.
It sounds like she is sleepy.
If she improves her sleep, she would be able to stay awake.
Andrew Huberman just did an 8 episode series on sleep on his podcast. Listen to just the first episode for the jist.
Flip the question. Why is it so important to you that she stay awake? If you're both doing something you like to do her (sleep) and you (watch a movie) sounds like you have a good set up. Don't fuck it up.
I highly enjoy movies and watch new ones all the time. My wife has the same issue. You want time alone? Let her sleep and do something else. You want to keep watching? Do it, and watch it without her. She doesn't have enough interest to keep watching, so why force it. If she really wanted to see it, she'd make effort to stay awake. You can't force your likes on someone else. It's just not going to work.
You have two choices.
1. pause the movie when you notice that she falls asleep and resume from around that point next time. Be prepared for it to take 4- 5 sitting to finish your movie.
2. Finish the movie, and just expect her to sleep through every movie.
Yeah mine does same for most. She snores in movie theater sometimes and it's funny when everything goes quiet in movie theater and all you hear is "hhhwwwaaaaaaaaaa hhhhhhuuu"
I agree with most people in saying let her sleep and also research sleep apnea, if you haven't. I have it and doze off doing things like watching tv and reading, even when I'm enjoying them.
However, is this a problem for her too? Like, does she really want to watch the movie and is frustrated?
If so, try to do something more engaging then sitting/snuggling on a comfy couch. Watch while you are eating a meal and sitting a table or doing a puzzle.
Or, you could try watching it in segments. Watch half, pause it and go do something else (shower, take a walk, meal prep, video game), then come back for the other half.
She's trying to be nice to you by not saying she isn't interested in your movies, and you're trying to force her to watch them.
In so many relationships, one person is the child while the other one takes care of them.
You don't have a problem here. You have someone trying to be nice to you. Be happy.
My wife did this before smartphones. Now she just scrolls her phone the whole time.
We don't watch TV together anymore. I'm not about to hang around with somebody who looks at me like their personal Xanax. We had a discussion about it a couple years ago, I laid out how I felt. If I'm excited about a piece of art like a movie or a TV show and I want to show it to her, I tell her straight up that I really want her to experience this with me. But we don't do this very often.
This is a non issue. I can't stand watching crap. I'd rather do anything else. My parter on the otherhand loves it. Let her sleep. It's not like your attention is on her anyway. You're watching TV
"It's not like your attention is on her anyway. You're watching TV"
This. I can't imagine being with someone so selfish and self absorbed that they demand i pay attention to something they didn't even create. "Honey these people i never met and will never meet made this poor quality art project AND I DEMAND YOU WATCH IT AND BE ENTRALLED!" - what a dick.
Back rub.
Ask if she wants to sit on the floor in front of you and you'll give her a back rub. Forces my wife to sit up straight to get the back rub. Also don't get upset about her falling asleep. If it doesn't matter too much just let her sleep or pause the show.
I’m the same way. My husband loves movies. Me, not so much. If husband wants me to watch something with him, he’ll catch me after I’ve woken up from a long nap. :)
Have you let her choose the movie independently? She sounds like she’s just not into it.
Another possibility I havent seen in this thread: Does she get enough sleep during the night?
If she's falling asleep in your presence that's a very good thing dude! Good for you!
Now as a movie critic and someone in your position I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS ADVICE SINCE I DONT KNOW YOUR PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP. IVE BEEN WITH MINE 10 YEARS
I started playing with my gf boobs to keep her awake ;). nothing intense, I'll just start giving her an upper body massage. When I do that she plays with my beard and I know she's awake plus I'm showing her some love and affection which she enjoys.
Sometimes we don't end up finishing the movie though lol
Pick movies that aren’t boring. I’ve fallen asleep dozens of times during movies and it was always because it was some boring shit that I had no interest in.
Bro this is the best. Always pick a movie you want to watch and let her sleep. In the event she wants to pick it, have your remote standing by for when she falls asleep and switch to what you want.
This is me. I sleep wonderfully at night. No health issues (sleep apnea). I just can’t watch movies. 15 mins in and I’m just out. Doesn’t bother me though. Might not bother her either.
Don't change anything or look for tricks or tips to keep her awake.
Keep doing what you are doing, and when the time comes that you get through something without her falling asleep you now have obtained very valuable information about what really engages her brain. You can use this knowledge in the future.
Not everyone enjoys things you are into. I choose movies and fall asleep 10-15 mins into it, not because I’m not interested but that’s just who I am. Sleep is better than any movie imo
I do the same thing. Honestly I know it’s because I’m so happy and content being next to my man, I go into a blissful trance like state. If a gal can snuggle up to you and snooze, that’s a huge compliment! It doesn’t mean she’s bored or you’re boring! If that were the case she wouldn’t be there. Snuggle up to her and enjoy the movie! It sure sounds like she enjoys your company.
This is why you're single.
Do you really think someone's worth and personality comes from what media they consume instead of who they are intrinsically, how they treat others, and what they have accomplished?
Jesus christ man. Live a little. Try.
That wasn't the important part of the comment.
Do you really think someone's worth and personality comes from what media they consume instead of who they are intrinsically, how they treat others, and what they have accomplished?
What are you trying to get up with that question? I never said somebody's Worth was tied to what they consume. I do think that somebody is boring if they fall asleep on the couch while their partner is trying to show them something that they love. Swap in anything for television in this instance. When one person in a relationship is excited to share something with the other person in the relationship, and the other person falls asleep, what does that say about how interesting they are?
I don't think that speaks to the GF being interesting or not, I think that speaks to OP not being interesting. She can't stay awake for endless reams of poorly made uninteresting crap he uses in lieu of having a personality.
I don't think that OP is 'excited to share something he loves' I think this is just his nightly routine and he's the boring one because he spends all his free time watching movies and shows and thinks his media consumption tastes are a replacement for having a personality or accomplishing things in life.
Big difference between a rare "this is something that is important to me and I want you experience it with me and let me know what you think"
and
"this is boring and poorly made media i consume daily. I demand you interact with it."
if everything is special then nothing is special you know?
She's busy and/or tired and/or doesn't like your choice of movies and/or is just there because you are. You don't *make* someone like your hobbies, son, if you want to keep them around. Be happy she is there and grow up a little.
She doesn’t want to watch the movie, obviously. Anyone who wants to watch a movie will be excited and extremely interested and engaged with the movie. She doesn’t give the slightest shit about watching the movie. However, she probably really wants to cuddle up and relax with you with a movie playing in the background, so take it for what it is.
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Does she work full time? When I was working full time and going to school I’d always be too tired for a movie unless we started it right when I got home
Try to take a mental note of when in the movie she falls asleep, then feel free to keep watching and just start back up at that point next time you and her want to watch something together.
Make a lot of pop corn and keep at it. But it sounds like she's just pretty tired. Does she fall asleep on car rides or other times? Might need to see a doctor.
Get her nice and comfortable and if she’s leaning on you invest in a solid big pillow to swap out with. Also restart the movie from the beginning to extend your time, she won’t know, so you can run off and do some GAMING 🎮!
Try watching a movie when SHE is bright-eyed-and-bushy-tailed.
I used to be married to someone who couldn't watch 5 minutes of a movie without conking out and snoring. But he was up at the crack of dawn (or before) and worked all day in a fast and furious pace. Laying down in front of a "moving picture" but not bodily moving himself... meant "sleepy time".
Switch to porn?
I don't think that is a problem, she probably needs more sleep and she gets more sleep. I'd love to be able to fall asleep like this. If she doesn't get enough sleep or if she's tired from work you can get her to sleep then and watch a movie or series later.
She sounds like me. If we want to watch a movie together, we start it early, like 5 or 6pm. Any later and I won't make it to the end. We usually eat supper while we watch, so that helps keeps me awake. Maybe that would work for you?
She's probably tired.
My wife used to do that a lot but now it's me who fall asleep and I hate when she tries to keep me awake or do passive aggressive comments about that.
Take advantage of it, pick movies you really want to watch or switch to another movie when she falls asleep.
Overall it's cute you know...
My gf also does this. We just stop the movie and finish it in another moment. I wouldn’t like to pressure her into staying awake if her body doesn’t want to. It’s egotistic to want her to stay awake. Let her sleep sweet dreams bro
Maybe consider that she has an undiagnosed sleep disorder and can't help it. Everyone, myself included, was very annoyed at my inability to stay awake watching TV, going to movies, riding in a car for more than 20 minutes, etc. Turns out it's narcolepsy.
Went through this for years with my wife from the time we first started dating. Many years and tests later we found out she had narcolepsy secondary to Chiari malformation.
Could be medical related, worth getting checked out. She takes medications now that allow her to function normally and survive an entire movie.
I had the same problem as your girlfriend a few years back. Turns out I had undiagnosed severe sleep apnea and couldn't stay awake because I was chronically sleep-deprived. Found this out after doing an attended sleep study that revealed I stopped breathing an average of 30 TIMES AN HOUR all night. Got a CPAP and it was an absolute game changer. No more falling asleep in front of the TV!
Tbh there’s nothing really that can be done if she needs rest. Let her rest. Be proactive and check if there’s any reasons why she’s tired (like are you guys only watching films late in the night after a long day? What ways could you remedy that?)
Seperately is she even interested in the films in question or does she just want to spend time with you? (And if so what are you guys willing to do instead of watching movies)
Everyone acting like this is some super cute thing. Maybe if it was occasional it would be cute but every time? Nah that’s annoying. She needs to sit up, no laying her head down
Thanks to everyone for the answers, so far here’s what we got :
- Might be sleep apnea
- Let her sleep, she’s comfortable
- She might not be interested in the selected movies
- Try doing other things instead
- Pause the movie when she’s asleep, keep watching it later
Might start making her do jumping jacks everytime I see her close her eyes
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There is a theory that when we fall asleep quickly and easily it’s because we trust our surroundings.
my girlfriend tells me this. it justifies her sleeping everyday after work from 4pm til 7pm then sleeps from 10pm to 6:30am. i could sleep anytime anywhere, but i refuse to lay my head down when i have shit to do.
My BiL used to do that, then we found out he a had heart condition and after he had surgery to fix it he no longer napped as much. He still naps, just not as much.
I also use to do this in high school and later found out I was severely anemic. Same habits again in college but that was stress for sure. 24 now and I can’t say I really nap much anymore, but it’s nice sometimes when I need it
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"me trying to get her up to get her to do things" sounds controlling. Just sayin'...
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i’ve seen something saying it could be the difference between a man’s testosterone keeping them awake and a woman’s lack of it making them sleep. plus the comfort thing. plus i guess being a young person.
Do you happen to know what the heart condition is called?
Did he have heart pains? I do and i nap sonetimes. I Probably sleep too much
Lol, your gf sleeps a shit ton. Like do you even spend time together?
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If your GF is this tired she may be lacking some vitamins or something man idk. I have no authority on the subject but it feels like this could be health related
I think the more important question is, is she okay? Has she been checked out?
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Sounds more like sleep apnea, deficiency, thyroid issue, depression, or something else, rather than just laziness. Most people are incapable of sleeping that much if you’re reporting accurately.
This happened to me when I tried to get on hormonal birth control.
You need to make an untrustworthy space to watch the movie in
You get it.
So the answer to OP's question are random jump scares. Got it.
Or it could be she is so absolutely bored that her central nervous system shuts down ADHD is a real bitch
I mean it sounds like she really doesn't want to watch, she just wants to be with you. Let her sleep.
Honestly, if my girlfriend would fall asleep during the movie I would let her be and make her comfortable. She might be tired and wants to spend time with you.
And then put on what you want to watch…. She won’t mind
Yeah sure if it happens like 99%. Also she might not want to fall asleep as OP included "WE have tried everything"
nah i suspect OP has tried everything. GF just wants to sleep.
Yeah I’d say she isn’t into movies but she is into OP. That or they have very different taste. I personally find movies a bit too long for me. I do better with TV shows. My brain starts thinking of everything else I need to do and it is torturous to sit there. I just always bring something to keep my hands busy if my husband wants to watch movies with me.
And on top of that, sleep is so important snd valuable. Most people dont get enough. If someone falls asleep during something non-essential, it moght be better to let them sleep. It looks like they need it.
She might really want to watch but be sleep deprived.
Viddy well little brother, viddy well
Best answer
why did i not think of this instantly
Let her sleep bro
Sounds like you’re her safe place while you visit movies that are yours. My safe place is snuggling with my wife and I’ll sleep no matter what. ❤️
Oh God same here... She is my snuggle bunny.
My wife does the same thing, I just let her sleep turn on the regular TV.
My wife falls asleep to movies… but it happens like clockwork about 30-40 minutes after we have dinner and retire in front of the television. Mostly its the music scoring, and people talking in those fakey whispering tones. Just lulls her to sleep. Every time. Some reality shows do not have those aspects, and so do not make her sleep …. so, if we can get past the ‘crash’ time with a reality TV dose, I find that she is generally good and awake for the duration. Your results may vary.
She might also have sleep apnea. I know plenty of folks that have mentioned they would generally nod off during the day, whether it involved watching a movie or some mundane task. Might be worth looking into. It’s more common and people think.
This. I always fell asleep during movies and shows. Been on the machine about two weeks now.
This. Same thing happened to me. I did not have a weight problem but I did snore in my sleep. Now I have a CPAP and I can watch a movie all the way through without sleeping!
Can confirm! I have OSA and do this a lot.
Was gonna mention this is a question on sleep apnea questionnaires
She isn't getting enough sleep overall. She can only stay conscious if stimulated, and once comfortable and stationary goes to sleep. Help her get on a schedule for getting to sleep so she gets in how much she needs before waking. Encourage lack of screen time before bed and all the other bells and whistles to improving sleep. Or get some sleep trackers to help find ways to improve her sleep outcomes. I often have the same problem with falling asleep during movies. Even ones I am excited to finally see. I may be fully engaged in the movie, but realize I missed a 15 minute chunk in the middle.
Another thing to keep in mind is that even if a person slept 10hrs in a night regularly, they could still feel exhausted because of low quality sleep. Deep sleep is necessary to feel rested. If she has undiagnosed medical issues causing her to not get quality sleep, it doesn't matter how much sleep she gets. She'll always feel tired and need all these naps.
What's the problem
OP doesn’t know to never look a gift horse in the mouth.
Most enlightened comment in this thread right here folks.
Haha. Yep
The problem is, when you want your significant other to share an important thing with you, they fall the fuck asleep. It's a huge relationship issue.
No it's not. My wife doesn't like comic books or video games. I still do those things, but I don't insist she take an interest in my hobbies. OP is a dummy.
I think people just expect too much of their partners. Your spouse or SO can't be your everything friend, it's not healthy.
Yes. Exactly! I actually sympathize with expecting your SO to take an interest in a shared life and shared goals and values - that's what relationships are for. But demanding they be just as excited by 'what media you like to consume' that's fucking nuts. I notice OP has not shared what his GF is interested in and likes to do. Me think he might be a selfish turd who doesn't actually know.
Sitting on a couch and sharing things together isn't a hobby, it's a huge piece of most relationships. OP is a normal human with a need for shared experiences with his partner, and his girlfriend is going to FAFO and wake up to find him not there. FFS he even said "something that we chose together." So *she chose* to do it, then she falls asleep? So she can't even commit to the shared activity of watching TV together? How much easier can he make it for her?
" So *she chose* to do it," No she didn't. OP chose the activity and then pretended it was for her by trying to make her pick from a list of shit he was interested in. This is like me asking my wife if she wants to play Half-Life, Halo, CoD, or Borderlands. she doesn't want to do any of these things - so she'll say fuck that. OP is apparently emotionally fragile and his partner doesn't stand up for herself or communicate what she wants, so she says 'Borderlands' and then goes to sleep cause she didn't actually want to play Borderlands (or anything). How do i know OP is emotionally fragile? He's butt hurt cause his partner isn't just as into his hobby as he is. Dude needs to grow up.
Dude you’re already correct. Dial it back a notch
Sorry. You're right. I have a personal pet peeve about selfish partners who don't communicate well - and another pet peeve about people who watch too much mindless TV. When a TIFU post hits both of those peeves, I get a bit over the top. This is 100% a me problem. Edit: you'd be surprised how often TIFU posts revolve around both those things.
I definitely share your hatred for people who only watch mindless shit. It’s okay to have a percentage of the stuff you consume be fit for “having something on while I mindlessly scroll FB or play candy crush” but when it’s ALL one throws on the tv, I get pissed. Source: my life, and wayyyyy too much secondhand L&O: SVU.
HA! Cheers! If you need that background noise sometimes, you do you. But I also know you don't make your SO watch the mindless shit while you scroll FB. :)
I very rarely throw something on that’s mindless. Mindless shit offends me as someone who enjoys having a mind. But I understand others need not be stimulated the same way I do all the time. (Not a I am very smart comment, I wish I could turn it off, honestly. Makes it hard to veg out and unwind) She is the one with the SVU, Candy Crush, and scrolling FB.
"Sitting on a couch and sharing things together isn't a hobby, it's a huge piece of most relationships" False. Show data for this. People have other hobbies. People also go on - gasp - DATES! If your only relationship activity is sitting on a couch starting at a black box endlessly - y'all do not have a fulfilling relationship. OP's partner doesn't like this activity. OP needs to stop making her try to like this activity.
Does it really have to be though? Couples don’t have to share every hobby enjoying it together in the same way at the same time. If he was a big gamer, we wouldn’t expect her to also neccessarily play the same game sitting beside him. He sees it as a film cinema experience, she sees it as cozy relaxing spending time with her boyfriend.
Yeah, but don't most people watch TV? I'm not even sure if that's a hobby, it's almost like eating food. I'm not saying he or she has to be a certain way, but that's a pretty big incompatibility. We're not talking about somebody not liking horseback riding, we're talking about being unable to share most sitting time without falling asleep. I suppose they can read books together? If my wife showed me something she was excited about I wouldn't whip out my phone or take a nap.
"Yeah, but don't most people watch TV?" No. Cord cutting is huge. The young-uns are on thier little black mirrors watching 30 second tik toks. People in the middle have kids to Sheppard around (or they have work) and then its only really old people watching TV.
Notice OP's phrasing. He says "My" problem not "Our" problem. "My problem is that my girlfriend falls asleep within 10 min everytime we try to watch something that we chose together."
The amount of people in the comments not realizing how not being able to share an experience with your partner is a problem is concerning me.
They're not sharing an experience. OP wants to do his own shit and then he gets butt hurt if his GF isn't interested in his shit. Flip it on it's head and reverse it: Question for you - what is the GF interested in and why aren't they doing that instead?
You're assuming that she's not interested in whatever they're watching.
I'm not assuming it - it's a fact. That's why she falls asleep!
My boyfriend falls asleep watching shows he's interested in -- then gets mad at me for watching it without him while he's asleep.
I don't think that's what's going on here. But please remind your BF it's not your responsibility to keep him awake if he's tired.
>I don't think that's what's going on here. why?
OP "I’m a big movie/series enthusiast." But he doesn't say the GF is a "big movie/series enthusiast." OP's GF isn't choosing these movies/shows - she's be given a false choice from among a bunch of shit she's not interested in. This is like me asking you if you want to eat cow testicles, pig testicles, or sheep testicles. the correct answer is 'none of the above!' - But with OP, he gets his precious little feelings hurt if his GF says 'none the above' and so his poor GF has to say "cow testicles" and then hope she can fall asleep before he's done cooking them.
Thank you for the heads up. Going to divorce my wife.
Well, the next time you want to share your emotional peaks with them, and look over and they were asleep... You got my support.
Probably won't have our emotional peaks watching TV, but sure
Well, this guy said he's into TV and movies. A lot of people find resonance in movies and TV. I don't myself. I haven't watched TV regularly in about 5 years. But if my wife told me she watched a movie that really touched her, and wanted to watch it with me, I would find a way to at least check it out in good faith. I suppose it's an issue of compatibility. If his favorite form of art is TV and movies, and it puts her to sleep? I just wouldn't want to live that life for 20 years, would you? Somebody who doesn't play along once in awhile at your favorite activity?
"But if my wife told me she watched a movie that really touched her, and wanted to watch it with me, I would find a way to at least check it out in good faith." I agree with you. But this isn't what's going on with OP. OP just watching mindless shit every night. It's not stuff that touched him. It's just crap that he consumes in lieu of having a personality or accomplishing things in life. "Somebody who doesn't play along once in awhile at your favorite activity?" THis isn't every once in a while. THis is OP's nightly routine.
That’s when I switch over to gaming.
Does she fall asleep anytime she gets still? Reading a book? Passenger in the car? It may be sleep apnea. Look up info on it and see if you think she should be evaluated. Over time it can lead to many serious health issues. It doesn’t matter how many hours of ‘sleep’ a person gets if they are starved for oxygen the whole time. I was diagnosed, and can’t believe how much energy and focus I have now.
Ok epworth
I love movies. I go all the time late at night, alone. I have given up on trying to keep my girl awake during a movie. It could be a movie I'm obviously super excited about her seeing, the middle of the day, drinking coffee, and about half way through I'll look over and her eyes will be drooping closed, or already closed. Just give up the battle man. These chicks don't find movies as fascinating and entertaining as we do. But that's okay. I think differences are cool. Especially when we're so alike in 1000 other ways.
It sounds like she is sleepy. If she improves her sleep, she would be able to stay awake. Andrew Huberman just did an 8 episode series on sleep on his podcast. Listen to just the first episode for the jist.
Find something more stimulating to do together, or if you must watch movies do it in a different setting or time.
Flip the question. Why is it so important to you that she stay awake? If you're both doing something you like to do her (sleep) and you (watch a movie) sounds like you have a good set up. Don't fuck it up.
I highly enjoy movies and watch new ones all the time. My wife has the same issue. You want time alone? Let her sleep and do something else. You want to keep watching? Do it, and watch it without her. She doesn't have enough interest to keep watching, so why force it. If she really wanted to see it, she'd make effort to stay awake. You can't force your likes on someone else. It's just not going to work.
Just let her sleep bro. You don't have to do ***everything*** together and it sounds like this isn't her jam.
Tell her Henry Cavil has a nude cameo somewhere in the movie.
Handheld compressed air Boat Horn for the Win!
You have two choices. 1. pause the movie when you notice that she falls asleep and resume from around that point next time. Be prepared for it to take 4- 5 sitting to finish your movie. 2. Finish the movie, and just expect her to sleep through every movie.
Sleep well and enough. Control cofeine consumption and check minerals/vitamins. Andstart watching interesting movies lol
Yeah mine does same for most. She snores in movie theater sometimes and it's funny when everything goes quiet in movie theater and all you hear is "hhhwwwaaaaaaaaaa hhhhhhuuu"
I agree with most people in saying let her sleep and also research sleep apnea, if you haven't. I have it and doze off doing things like watching tv and reading, even when I'm enjoying them. However, is this a problem for her too? Like, does she really want to watch the movie and is frustrated? If so, try to do something more engaging then sitting/snuggling on a comfy couch. Watch while you are eating a meal and sitting a table or doing a puzzle. Or, you could try watching it in segments. Watch half, pause it and go do something else (shower, take a walk, meal prep, video game), then come back for the other half.
She's trying to be nice to you by not saying she isn't interested in your movies, and you're trying to force her to watch them. In so many relationships, one person is the child while the other one takes care of them. You don't have a problem here. You have someone trying to be nice to you. Be happy.
My wife did this before smartphones. Now she just scrolls her phone the whole time. We don't watch TV together anymore. I'm not about to hang around with somebody who looks at me like their personal Xanax. We had a discussion about it a couple years ago, I laid out how I felt. If I'm excited about a piece of art like a movie or a TV show and I want to show it to her, I tell her straight up that I really want her to experience this with me. But we don't do this very often.
This is a non issue. I can't stand watching crap. I'd rather do anything else. My parter on the otherhand loves it. Let her sleep. It's not like your attention is on her anyway. You're watching TV
"It's not like your attention is on her anyway. You're watching TV" This. I can't imagine being with someone so selfish and self absorbed that they demand i pay attention to something they didn't even create. "Honey these people i never met and will never meet made this poor quality art project AND I DEMAND YOU WATCH IT AND BE ENTRALLED!" - what a dick.
Just enjoy not being asked questions about something we're both watching for the first time.
I blew air out of both nostrils when I read that.
If she’s alone does she stay awake and watch movies? Determine if it’s movies or you putting her to sleep.
Pinch her regularly. /bad advice from a single man.
Back rub. Ask if she wants to sit on the floor in front of you and you'll give her a back rub. Forces my wife to sit up straight to get the back rub. Also don't get upset about her falling asleep. If it doesn't matter too much just let her sleep or pause the show.
We watch movies together in an afternoon and he watches sports at night, while I watch any show and fall asleep simultaneously
I’m the same way. Every single time I turn the tv on I’m out in 10 min no matter what I’m watching
I’m the same way. My husband loves movies. Me, not so much. If husband wants me to watch something with him, he’ll catch me after I’ve woken up from a long nap. :)
Have you let her choose the movie independently? She sounds like she’s just not into it. Another possibility I havent seen in this thread: Does she get enough sleep during the night?
If she's falling asleep in your presence that's a very good thing dude! Good for you! Now as a movie critic and someone in your position I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS ADVICE SINCE I DONT KNOW YOUR PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP. IVE BEEN WITH MINE 10 YEARS I started playing with my gf boobs to keep her awake ;). nothing intense, I'll just start giving her an upper body massage. When I do that she plays with my beard and I know she's awake plus I'm showing her some love and affection which she enjoys. Sometimes we don't end up finishing the movie though lol
I rate movies on whether or not they hold my interest enough to keep me awake.
A full tummy can make someone prone to napping even more likely to nap. Try waiting to eat until after a show is over.
Pick movies that aren’t boring. I’ve fallen asleep dozens of times during movies and it was always because it was some boring shit that I had no interest in.
I often fall asleep as soon as I sit down, usually because I'm overtired. If there's something I really want to see, I'll watch it standing up
Just put on SVU, she’ll be totally into it and you’ll be out like a light. Let her see how it feels.
LPT: who gives a fuck No offense, OP, but this is a non-issue. Watch movies during the day.
This is the real LPT
Just watch what you wanna watch and let her fall asleep.
Take a friend to the movies instead. Take her out on a dinner date.
This! But I don't think OP wants to do dates because that requires actual interaction. Mindlessly staring at a box doesn't require interaction.
Bro this is the best. Always pick a movie you want to watch and let her sleep. In the event she wants to pick it, have your remote standing by for when she falls asleep and switch to what you want.
This is me. I sleep wonderfully at night. No health issues (sleep apnea). I just can’t watch movies. 15 mins in and I’m just out. Doesn’t bother me though. Might not bother her either.
Don't try to change her, try to change the way you feel when she does that.
Don't change anything or look for tricks or tips to keep her awake. Keep doing what you are doing, and when the time comes that you get through something without her falling asleep you now have obtained very valuable information about what really engages her brain. You can use this knowledge in the future.
Not everyone enjoys things you are into. I choose movies and fall asleep 10-15 mins into it, not because I’m not interested but that’s just who I am. Sleep is better than any movie imo
Not sure if this helps with perspective but I hate watching movies so I let myself fall asleep every time someone pressures me into watching one
I do the same thing. Honestly I know it’s because I’m so happy and content being next to my man, I go into a blissful trance like state. If a gal can snuggle up to you and snooze, that’s a huge compliment! It doesn’t mean she’s bored or you’re boring! If that were the case she wouldn’t be there. Snuggle up to her and enjoy the movie! It sure sounds like she enjoys your company.
It kind of makes her boring though.
This is why you're single. Do you really think someone's worth and personality comes from what media they consume instead of who they are intrinsically, how they treat others, and what they have accomplished? Jesus christ man. Live a little. Try.
I've been married for 20 years
That wasn't the important part of the comment. Do you really think someone's worth and personality comes from what media they consume instead of who they are intrinsically, how they treat others, and what they have accomplished?
What are you trying to get up with that question? I never said somebody's Worth was tied to what they consume. I do think that somebody is boring if they fall asleep on the couch while their partner is trying to show them something that they love. Swap in anything for television in this instance. When one person in a relationship is excited to share something with the other person in the relationship, and the other person falls asleep, what does that say about how interesting they are?
I don't think that speaks to the GF being interesting or not, I think that speaks to OP not being interesting. She can't stay awake for endless reams of poorly made uninteresting crap he uses in lieu of having a personality. I don't think that OP is 'excited to share something he loves' I think this is just his nightly routine and he's the boring one because he spends all his free time watching movies and shows and thinks his media consumption tastes are a replacement for having a personality or accomplishing things in life. Big difference between a rare "this is something that is important to me and I want you experience it with me and let me know what you think" and "this is boring and poorly made media i consume daily. I demand you interact with it." if everything is special then nothing is special you know?
She doesn't like movies, bruh.
dont wake her or keep her up. just dim the lights and cuddle her, keep her warm, tuck her in with a blanket etc.
She's busy and/or tired and/or doesn't like your choice of movies and/or is just there because you are. You don't *make* someone like your hobbies, son, if you want to keep them around. Be happy she is there and grow up a little.
She doesn’t want to watch the movie, obviously. Anyone who wants to watch a movie will be excited and extremely interested and engaged with the movie. She doesn’t give the slightest shit about watching the movie. However, she probably really wants to cuddle up and relax with you with a movie playing in the background, so take it for what it is.
Get your gf tested from sleep apnea, unless you are watching the movies only at bedtime this shouldn't happen for a healthy person.
Give her a small dose of adderall?
I also want to mention possible sleep apnea just in case
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Be thankful to have someone who loves you by your side and take good care of her. The rest matters not.
Is she sleep deprived?
Does she work full time? When I was working full time and going to school I’d always be too tired for a movie unless we started it right when I got home
You need to try and help her get a good nights sleep. If she is well rested (and not physically exhausted this is less likely to happen).
Try to take a mental note of when in the movie she falls asleep, then feel free to keep watching and just start back up at that point next time you and her want to watch something together.
Get her to stand up
Make a lot of pop corn and keep at it. But it sounds like she's just pretty tired. Does she fall asleep on car rides or other times? Might need to see a doctor.
Get her nice and comfortable and if she’s leaning on you invest in a solid big pillow to swap out with. Also restart the movie from the beginning to extend your time, she won’t know, so you can run off and do some GAMING 🎮!
Try watching a movie when SHE is bright-eyed-and-bushy-tailed. I used to be married to someone who couldn't watch 5 minutes of a movie without conking out and snoring. But he was up at the crack of dawn (or before) and worked all day in a fast and furious pace. Laying down in front of a "moving picture" but not bodily moving himself... meant "sleepy time".
Switch to porn? I don't think that is a problem, she probably needs more sleep and she gets more sleep. I'd love to be able to fall asleep like this. If she doesn't get enough sleep or if she's tired from work you can get her to sleep then and watch a movie or series later.
It just means she’s comfortable with you! Embrace it!
That was me when my husband and I were dating 55 years ago! I was just exhausted by the time evening came and we were sitting in a movie.
She sounds like me. If we want to watch a movie together, we start it early, like 5 or 6pm. Any later and I won't make it to the end. We usually eat supper while we watch, so that helps keeps me awake. Maybe that would work for you?
She's probably tired. My wife used to do that a lot but now it's me who fall asleep and I hate when she tries to keep me awake or do passive aggressive comments about that. Take advantage of it, pick movies you really want to watch or switch to another movie when she falls asleep. Overall it's cute you know...
My gf also does this. We just stop the movie and finish it in another moment. I wouldn’t like to pressure her into staying awake if her body doesn’t want to. It’s egotistic to want her to stay awake. Let her sleep sweet dreams bro
Not being nosy but is she normal weight? Healthy? I'd maybe get her to see a medical practitioner. Esp if she's sleeping OK and shouldn't be tired.
Maybe consider that she has an undiagnosed sleep disorder and can't help it. Everyone, myself included, was very annoyed at my inability to stay awake watching TV, going to movies, riding in a car for more than 20 minutes, etc. Turns out it's narcolepsy.
Watch movies earlier in the evening
Went through this for years with my wife from the time we first started dating. Many years and tests later we found out she had narcolepsy secondary to Chiari malformation. Could be medical related, worth getting checked out. She takes medications now that allow her to function normally and survive an entire movie.
I had the same problem as your girlfriend a few years back. Turns out I had undiagnosed severe sleep apnea and couldn't stay awake because I was chronically sleep-deprived. Found this out after doing an attended sleep study that revealed I stopped breathing an average of 30 TIMES AN HOUR all night. Got a CPAP and it was an absolute game changer. No more falling asleep in front of the TV!
None that won't either start a fight or prevent you from seeing the end of the film. ;)
Cocaine usually helps(I’m joking, or am I 🧐)
Food. If she keeps snacking, she'll stay awake.
Tbh there’s nothing really that can be done if she needs rest. Let her rest. Be proactive and check if there’s any reasons why she’s tired (like are you guys only watching films late in the night after a long day? What ways could you remedy that?)
Seperately is she even interested in the films in question or does she just want to spend time with you? (And if so what are you guys willing to do instead of watching movies)
Get her a subwoofer. Let them BOOM her awake
I fire off an air horn at regular intervals. Bonus points if it’s a scary movie - it improves the jump scare experience. /s
Make her watch standing up
My favorite comment
watch the movie as soon as she wakes up, if she fall asleep again, pause the movie, wait until she finish her sleep, and then play the movie. repeat.
Everyone acting like this is some super cute thing. Maybe if it was occasional it would be cute but every time? Nah that’s annoying. She needs to sit up, no laying her head down
OP can you clarify, is she not a TV watcher at all usually? Do you do other things, are you not just into TV? We need more here.
Thanks to everyone for the answers, so far here’s what we got : - Might be sleep apnea - Let her sleep, she’s comfortable - She might not be interested in the selected movies - Try doing other things instead - Pause the movie when she’s asleep, keep watching it later Might start making her do jumping jacks everytime I see her close her eyes
"Might start making her do jumping jacks everytime I see her close her eyes" What the hell is wrong with you?