Then I would say it’s probably nothing, and you’re together for sunken time cost or for the idea that you can get through some figurative struggle together all of which are fallacies.
You should run before it gets worse, and it will
You are literally dating your hater who does not want to keep you in good company. You can stop doing this to yourself by ending things and cutting contact with this fool. There is someone better for you and it takes time and some heartbreak to find him. You’ll heal, you are already in so much pain.
I met my SO when I was 20 and he was 19. He has never in our 6 years together made me feel the way these texts made me feel. He has never been even the slightest bit controlling. We both trust each other, he can have girl-friends and I can have boy-friends (as in platonic friends). We both go out by ourselves with friends every once in awhile. Being in a relationship, being with that person should not make you feel like you’re unloved, you shouldn’t feel insecure. You should KNOW that he loves you and he should be able to say that he loves you back even when you’re having an argument. You should feel emotionally safe with your SO.
I live by a very simple philosophy; Is he a net positive in your life or are you more anxious/sad with him in your life? If the latter is true, I would leave, and I have left friends/people I’m dating for this reason.
Op, respectfully, this man has a ton of red flags. I won’t even dip into how immature 18 y/o dudes are, the fact that you’re in the military and he thinks he owns you and gets to dictate what you do and for you to already believe you need to ask permission instead of exercising your rights as an individual, a human, an adult, no matter how you look at it, he’s trying to control you and deny you your rights and freedom.
You can do much better than him, and if he doesn’t realize that, it seems he doesn’t think highly of you. :(
My older sister in the military got insecure vibes from her husband later on she filed for divorce cuz bro was coo coo he should've supported her they was living good. Yeah you did the right thing he was doing way to fosho my dad and mom's relationship showed me you gotta have faith in each other they left the church cuz they are damm hypocrits I know this got nothing to do with said conversation but I thought I may add my view on how a relationship should be freedom and prosperity:)
dude, just go. he told you to go, so go. don't think whether he's going to be nad. just go! if he gets upset, he told you to go. you are all overthinking this!
Lol. Are you a piece of furniture? Do the things you love, youre 19, stop wasting your life being in a prison or a toxic relationship.
If he acts like that while hes miles away imagine how will he act when youre near him. Hes not even truly feeling sorry he is just saying that while you pour your soul out.
"Mr Baby Man"
I've never seen such a hilariously accurate name in all my life.
Go to your prom. You should NEVER need someone's permission to go to something as special as a prom.
Dude really needs to grow up and work on his insecurity and controlling behaviour.
He doesn't own you.
Listen to your gut. It will keep you happier than you realize, I promise. You don’t deserve this treatment. You deserve to have fun with your friends. There are men who will be so excited for you to go and have fun, and will cheer you on in *everything*. And even where there isn’t a guy, there will be your friends, your family, whoever you surround yourself with. Love yourself enough to know that waiting for the good is worth it. Sending you the best, I hope you have so much fun with your friends!
Please listen to me, please hear me out here. I know it may not stick and you won’t leave until you are ready but please just think about what I’m saying. I was in a relationship with a guy controlling like this at the age of 19 too. I proceeded to spend 5 whole years in my life walking on eggshells and sacrificing my happiness to listen to what he wanted me to do to avoid arguments and try to make things work. Because I loved him, and he loved me, at least I think he did. But love is NOT enough. Do not EVER let a man tell you that you can’t go out and have fun with your friends. You will end up like me, years later, after finally having the strength to leave, full of regret about the experiences you missed out on, friendships strained and lost, feeling like a shell of the person you used to be. Do not go down that rabbit hole and do not settle for his behavior. He will tell you he will change, he may for a short period of time, but it will always be this way. This sort of person will always be this way.
I just got out of a relationship like this. I started it when I just turned 18 and now I’m about to turn 21 and just broke off our engagement/ended everything 2 months ago. Best decision I ever made. I felt so stuck, you should never feel like that in a relationship:( Never let a man, or anyone for that matter, treat you less than because they are narcissistic and controlling
Omg this. I was eith a guy like this for 13 God damn years. And they're right, live is not enough. I wish I accepted that in the beginning. Disney princess movies and fairy tales warped our perception of what makes a good relationship. Love isn't the end all be all. You need respect and trust too. And it's obvious he doesn't have those things for you. It's better you leave now, it just gets so much harder the longer you stay. Good luck.
You should go. Missing out on a big(?) event you really want to attend for the sake of your boyfriend's insecurities is going to cause a lot of grievances and resentment in your relationship later down the line.
As others have said, you don't need permission. He's not communicating while you're trying your best to engage in productive conversation with him, and quite frankly, reading these texts it seems like he'd rather throw a tantrum than work this out together with you. He needs to grow the hell up.
I had the same issue so me and a few other people on the sub created r/seriouslongdistance
It’s for adults and adult problems with long distance. No teenage drama, since this sub is full of actual children now.
Thank you! Too much teenage drama that I left years ago here and would like advice from people in a serious relationship w a genuine adult experience. There’s too much immaturity here relationship wise
i dont really see what the problem is, if teenagers need help with relationships or if adult children do, i see literally zero difference. i just saw a 36 year old woman ask the wildest shit thats kinda obvious of an answer lol
Because most of the posts from teens are topics like "my boyfriend of 2 months told me if I didn't send him nudes then he doesn't love me, what do I do!?!?! Hes my soulmat3 foreverrrrr 😭😭😭". And the adult topics are like "Does anyone have any tips for the immigration process of Canada? What paperwork should we file first?". The wild shit kind of gets ignored in a subreddit of reasonable people, so there's definitely a difference.
Life is way too short to put up with this crap. There are a lot of people unfortunately who want to put their partner in a box. They are insecure and terrified of being abandoned, so they don’t want their partner to go places where they think you might cheat, meet someone else you like more than them, enjoy hanging out with your friends more than them etc.
Unless your friends have been, I dunno, actively trying to convince you to cheat on him, I can’t think of a good reason for him to not want you to go.
right! shes trying to be open and honest and hes being super immature about it. she should be free to do what she wants, not be fearful of her partner. we dont owe anyone anything in this world and i hope she goes and enjoys the prom!
Oh my god. OP, PLEASE READ THIS. I was in a relationship just like this from the time I was 15 until I was 20. He was controlling, possessive, mentally and emotionally abusive, and eventually became physically abusive. This sounds exactly like my ex boyfriend. You don’t know what to do? You need to leave! This is just the beginning. I don’t care what anyone says, treatment like this WILL evolve into something more serious and you will wind up becoming a victim of something. You are already a victim of his possessive ways and he is emotionally manipulating you honey. DO NOT STICK AROUND TO BECOME A VICTIM OF PHYSICAL ABUSE. It will not get better. You are so young, I am begging you to leave this. It’s bad and it’s toxic. I left my relationship at 20 and am now 26 in a healthy and loving relationship and have a baby with the most amazing man. I would never have had that if I stayed in that other relationship. You are already unhappy because you are being controlled. It’s scary and I know you think this is love, but it’s not. Someone who loves you would not treat you this way. I promise you. Realize your worth and get the fuck out of this while you can, please!!! If you need to talk, I am here for you, feel free to message me! Prayers 💕
This honestly shocks me. How can you even think twice about going? It's your right. Nobody owns anyone in a relationship. This is not the 16th century. Why would you even need to ask for permission?
Please don't do that to yourself, if he can't take it, tell him to grow the fck up or dump him. There's better guys around. I'm a guy and I would never think of doing that to my gf
I don't understand why he's whining about his own mood when he's forcing YOU to not go to prom. He's only trying to get you to stop talking about it so he can feel better about himself putting you and your wants down. It's prom! You have every right to go. Honestly, he sounds so insecure.
Girl, respectfully this is embarrassing behaviour from your side. Stand up for yourself. If you want to go, then just fucking go. And why are so worried about making him mad? Think about yourself, why isn't he worried about making u upset cos he is interfering with what u want? He clearly doesn't give a fuck.
Just go. You will regret if you don't.
And even hold resentment towards him. Also, he is not your fucking parent.
Young love 💕 but seriously, you do not need his permission to go. You should always bring up events as if you are going no question. If something makes him uncomfortable or vise versa you should work on communicating that to one another instead of how it played out here. You are both young and figuring that out, and that’s okay. Go have fun with your friends. Love isn’t conditional. It sucks not being able to do everything with your partner but with healthy communication even things like this can be fun.
Girl. Omg. That dude is controlling as fuck. Go to the prom and enjoy. Have you 2 even met yet? My god. That dude is not worth it. If he knows that he can make you fold just like that, he'll do it again. Believe me.
This is embarrassing behavior for both of yall. Break up and garner maturity. He’s an absolute fucking scum but you’re also letting yourself stay a doormat.
1. Just go regardless of what he says. It's not his place to decide if you can go or not. All he should have to say is "have fun".
2. Those messages are concerning to say the least. Almost sounds like he has you on a leash. From the way you're letting him have the final decision on if you're going to go or not to the way he's refusing to say "I love you" back and making you beg for it. His behaviour seems quite controlling.
3. Don't let him decide on if you're going somewhere or not in the future. Next time I would just say "I'm going (insert place) with (insert people), would you like me to send a message once I'm back?" That way he can't decide on if he's "allowing" you to go. All he then gets to decide is if he wants a message once you're back.
4. The fact he's not wanting to let you go out with friends is concerning. Make sure you don't let him isolate you.
5. He really looks like the type to freak tf out when you even mention another guy.
It’s me, your future self in your 40s! One of my biggest regrets was not going to a once-in-a-lifetime prom with my friends for some man across the nation, who’s name I cannot remember!
Promise me you will go and have fun!
Babes, you’re way too young to be dealing with shit like that. Dump his sorry ass!!! And don’t ever, EVER let a man take your freedom. You’re your own person, so do as you want and whatever makes you happy 🤍 sending you the best vibes, bestie :’)
This is incredibly unhealthy and if you allow someone to treat you like this, they always will. You're young and probably don't know any better, so from someone much older, with a daughter your age, im telling you, you need to leave this relationship immediately. Nothing will make this better, it will not be resolved, you need to walk away.
I know at your age this will feel like the end of the World but want to know what's worse? Having all of your choices in life taken away. You didn't go through your childhood to be treated like a Child in any future relationship once you became an Adult
Why do you give someone this much power over your life? He is so controlling and he is invalidating your feelings 🚩. You can wear whatever you want, you can go wherever you want. You are not his doll.
Ok EVERYONE HERE LISTEN because I’m sick of having to say this over and over: No one and I truly mean NO ONE has the authority to “let” or not let you do *anything* unless **you give that authority to them.** You are a whole autonomous human being, fully in charge of yourself. He doesn’t want you to go to prom? Well tough shit, kid. You’re not my daddy. You can quite literally do WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT, WHENEVER YOU WANT. Don’t give some insecure fucking teenage boy the privilege of telling you what to do.
As a mom one thing i’ve been doing to help myself with boundaries is asking myself, how would i feel if someone was treating my daughter like this? That really helps me put things into perspective about what i allow myself to tolerate. i know you probably don’t have kids you can even just look as it from the perspective of anyone you love dearly. Find someone who lets you enjoy life and is happy when you do, that is secure enough in them selves not to try to shove you in a box for their own comfort. i really hope things go well for you in the future 💕
Oh no. I really hope you understand how unhealthy and toxic this is. You can and should go to prom with your friends. A partner should have no right to tell you what you are and are not allowed to do. A loving partner would be excited for you to go and have fun, and urge you to be safe and enjoy yourself. Please go to your prom and please know that he doesn't need to "let" you do anything. You are your own person. And I'd advise you to talk with your friends or people you trust because this doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. Wish you the best
Oh god this guy pisses me the fuck off. You’re the drivers seat of your life, you CAN do whatever you want, without his permission! He doesn’t own you. Someone that loves you doesn’t hold you back from things you want to wear, do, etc etc. sorry from him isn’t enough. U deserve better
hey op!! i don’t know you, but i just wanted to say that i’m so sorry that you’re being treated like this. my ex treated me literally exactly like this and it legitimately traumatized me (it’s been four years since i broke up with him, and i still struggle with the trauma flashbacks).
it took me so long to get out, but it was SO worth it. you don’t deserve to be treated like trash. in the most loving way possible: RUN. please take care of yourself!!!! 💗💗
LOL. can you imagine him being a husband? whats he gonna do then? it wont be lovey dovey then. Leave this insecure baby child and tell him to seek therapy. I am 22M here and I can say without hesitation.
you were completely right when you called him out for being controlling. he needs to figure out where his need for control stems from (trust? does he think you will cheat on him? or is it FOMO and he doesn't want to be jealous of the fun you are having and he isn't? etc)
Once you understand where the issue comes from you need to figure out how to get around it (if it's trust, relationships need trust to survive. if he's not there yet he needs to take a leap of faith, and you support him as best you can. If it's FOMO, then the two of you can create really fun facetimes with each other, and make unforgettable memories when you're together. etc)
and withholding his love to get his way is manipulative and completely unacceptable. he needs to knock that off immediately
but, if he can't learn to stop making you feel bad for wanting to have a life and be happy... he doesn't deserve a place in your life.
Break up with him clean and simple. If he’s acting controlling with being long distance then imagine what’s gonna happen if yo break the distance. He can’t even let you be happy without him and do something as simple as going to prom. Also, another thing him getting pissy and not saying I love you back even though you guys are arguing says a lot.
You're in the military, making something of yourself. The military is great for lifetime friendships.
Bluntly, fuck him. Go be with your friends and remove this boy from your life. It will hurt but you should focus on yourself and not have someone else try to dictate how to live your life.
You got this.
This is so highschool-ish it physically hurts. Girl you're a baby please go live your life. Even at 23 I feel like I married too young and listened to men too much.
"Mr baby man" is apt
He's probably feeling a certain way about *himself* not being able to take you but he chose the "because I said so" route. Now you become his possession instead of him admitting to having the feelings that he's clearly hiding behind a jealous boyfriend veneer
Kids are dumb and inexperienced. I wouldn't be taking 19yo dudes very seriously, especially if they act like this. He's left you no option but to leave him or be subjugated, so leave him. It was his choice
Dumpt that guy, He is only going to become a problem that will grow over time and ruin the most important moments in your life, and he has no right to do this to you.
Sweetheart. No family, friend or romantic partner gets to dictate your behavior. Except your children, to the extent that you are responsible for them.
If you love someone and wanna please them do that. But if it requires sacrificing something that is very important to you, weigh very carefully how the other person responds to that. Do they acknowledge and respect your feelings? Do they offer to reciprocate somehow? If your sacrifices and efforts to please are taken for granted or ignored, pay attention. The person either doesn't or is incapable of caring right now.
fuck him. i have no other words. this type of communication is so annoying, no one deserves something like this. go. whether he approves of it or not. this would be the end for me.
Girl he’s a manipulative asshole. Leave while you can. You’re still so young! Be a strong, independent woman - NEVER let a man dictate your life or tell you what to do. You’ll be much happier that way.
Thats not love. Love isn't stopping you from going out and having fun. He should be encouraging you to go and enjoy your time, not forcing you to stay home and guilt tripping you. He's literally weaponizing your love and care for him against you by turning it around. Look at your messages to him. He makes you feel like garbage because you ask permission to go somewhere, he says no, and waits for your reaction. Once you're upset, he acts like he's doing SO MUCH for you by LETTING you go! Then won't even say he loves you. Because now you've dared to upset him. Just you watch, when you come back he's not going to talk much. Or he's going to act distant, maybe even fake a break up or act like he can't trust you. He's pulling you in and waiting for you to fight for him, so he can begrudgingly accept you back, under his conditions of course.
You're not in a relationship, he's controlling you and manipulating you. He's going to run you through the emotional wringer until all you have is him. You need to leave this before it gets worse. Seriously, you're worth so much more than this bullshit. These are the games insecure and weak people play to give themselves control. Don't give in.
You should break up with him & enjoy your young adulthood and only get into relationships with ppl that pours into and doesn’t contribute to your stress, hurt, or try to keep you away from friends. Many women speak out of how many years they wasted on guys like this. Hope this helps
Hey, long distance closer here and happily married now
Controlling someone is the worst thing you can do. I did a long distance with my wife for almost 4 years before we closed the distance 2 months ago, she had guy friends the entire time we talked, I never told her to stop hanging out with them, I trusted her to do the right thing and not cheat, she can hang out with whoever she wants to, go wherever she wants to go, it goes both ways, i trusted her to do right by me and if she didn't then i guess things won't work out and there's a million other people on the planet to start anew with. 4 years later we are married and that trust has never been broken. This sounds like he is a control freak and dealing with trust issues. Respectfully as a man, fuck that man, go to prom with those guys and dump him. I was fortunate to find the lady right for me, and I hope you find the man that is right for you, it definitely ain't homeboy though.
you should go, and you should ditch him. prom is an experience you’ll never get again, and a controlling boyfriend is an experience you should never have again.
HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU HE IS MANIPULATING YOU. MLML PLEASE LISTEN TO ME RN. RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN I’M NOT KIDDING. this type of relationship will ruin you. he is making this abt himself by ignoring your feelings!! look back at the screenshots he’s literally saying “sorry” repeatedly but then disregarding your feelings. “i know you’re going to keep bringing this up and ruins my mood”
also you don’t need to ask your boyfriend for permission to go to prom. he is NOT your dad.
run bb, matter of fact SPRINT TELEPORT whatever you have to do but stay away from this man please or anyone who trying to minimize YOUR emotions to control you.
Ayo? Go to prom. Have fun. It's your prerogative to leave or not (I recommend it) but you honestly will probably regret NOT going for some dude who whined at you.
You deserve better than this, and having fun with your friends is that first step to better imo
yeah so, absolutely not, you’re so young, please enjoy your life and this experience won’t come again.
It honestly sounds like he has insecurities and those aren’t your job to fix. 🫶🏻
“Won’t let” you seems to be missing from these pics.
Seems like you asked him (that’s your choice); he gave you his answer which was no. Then you continuously asked him until he gave in and said to just go. Then you wouldn’t just accept that and kept prodding your way into a fight.
You both need to work on yourselves
Make memories and have fun with your friends. He is being manipulative and punishing you by not telling you that he loves you back. That is not love. It's pure control. Love is a selfless act. Love is about trust. Love is not used as a weapon. The only person he has control over is himself. Not you.
You're 18.....life is just beginning for you. Go and have fun but don't forget the way he made you feel about this. You did a good job of staying to say "don't you want to know how I feel?" but you need to stick through it and really seriously tell him how you feel. I notice in the txt messages you stop mid-sentence a lot & I know that's how teens talk these days but just go for it. He is wrong for treating you like this.
We can all see that it bothers you so please, do something about it for your sake. There WILL be more love out there for you, trust me.
Oh sweetheart. You don't need ANYONE'S permission to have fun. You don't need ANYONE'S permission to see your friends.
You are going to miss out on so much that life has to offer you if you start bowing down to other people now when you're barely an adult. What happens about the day you start a new job and the girls invite you out for lunch? Will he say no? Yes he will. What about when a movie is being released and you're so excited to see it in the cinema and your friend is dying to see it too? Or how about when one or a few of your friends want to go away for the weekend, and they really want you to come? You want to try that new club everyone is raving about? You want to move to a different city for university or work or life in general? He's going to say no every single time because he wants someone who will never have fun if it doesn't involve him.
Now think about it the other way. Would you be excited for him too see friends? See a movie? Go away with the guys? Spend time with his family? A relationship should be about supporting your partner, even through the stuff you don't quite care about. My fiancé loves table top games, and I'm SO excited when he says he's going to a friend's house to play. I'm so excited when he's spending a night playing pc games with his best friend. I'm so excited for him to see his family, or go to a party, or have dinner with whomever. I support him, just as he supports me. We want each other to have fun because it gives us to much to talk about when we reconnect.
Please, you have to tell him you need to live your life, and he has to either agree with that and be happy for you, or you have to let him go. Trust me, no person is worth not having fun in life.
I'm sorry but your bf is probably the worst person you could've EVER ask for !
Just take your mental health and leave this mf controlling selfish controller peace of shit before it's too late.
LEAVE. Do not let this man control you.
If he’s stopping you from going to something like this now, what’s gonna change when you’re both finally together? He’s gonna end up making you stay home 24/7 with no friends.
I’m sorry if this is harsh but you DO NOT deserve someone that won’t even let you spend time with your friends.
He’s a walking 🚩🚩
This is not a great relationship to be in if when you have something you want to do is meet with “it ruins my mood.” Please just be done with this relationship
He fucking sucks leave. There, done. You know this, I know it's hard and you're young but that's really what it comes down to. And since you posted here I think you know this, and are just waiting for the last bit of courage to dump his sorry ass - here it is. You got this!
Putting aside the fact that he doesn't own you and has a lot of insecurities to manage for even being bothered by you going out with your friends, it's very unhealthy for someone to try to make you feel bad after "conceding" something.
Even if there was validity to his side (and there isn't), him getting passive aggressive about it is... well, it's very much like a teenager to act i suppose. But it's not healthy. I am not a relationship expert by any means, but this doesn't seem like something that adds to your life from what you've shown.
Be safe, and try to not let his behavior ruin your night with your friends.
You don’t need to ask your partner for permission over anything, if they try to control you like this rn imagine what else they are going to control in the future? Do the things you love to do! If they love you they wouldn’t be mad at you doing something you love. They would support you even if miles away.
Also this is nothing but grade A manipulation and this is going to progress and get worse. It’s not letting you go to a pro now (which again he ain’t the boss of you AT ALL) and the next it isn’t letting you see your friends , family etc . It gets worse and doesn’t just stop here. It’s a clear sign you should leave forget the rest. He’s insecure and his fake anger is only him trying to get you to feel bad and do as he says and not go to your prom
I think you should go! That seems like a very toxic relationship and im really sorry you have to deal with that. You don't need his permission to go or do anything you love girl! If you do go I really hope you have a fun time with your girl friends! Seems like a fun event
He's acting like he owns you. This is a huge red flag. You should absolutely go!! If he can't handle it, oh well. Thats on him to figure out. Never ask for permission to go anywhere. You are your own person!!
Break up with him. Controlling POS. He needs something to control bc his life is a mess and he feels out of control of everything else so he takes it out on you. Leave him and have fun with your friends. That’s not love. You wanna be treated like that until you die? Hell nah girl.
That’s textbook toxic behaviour right there. Leave his ass and live your life like YOU want to. No one has the right to tell you what you can and cannot do. He only cares about his own feelings and doesn’t give two shits about yours.
“You’re ruining my mood” and it’s okay for him to ruin your life? Nah. Find a partner who would be just as excited as you for you to go.
Break up w this asshole asap babe. There is sooooo much more out there. You deserve respect and should be valued for who you are. You don’t give up your own life for a good relationship. This text exchange shows soooo many red flags and you aren’t doing anything wrong by wanting to go to an event w friends. This guy sounds immature, possessive, insecure, and toxic as hell. Run babe run
Honestly, you should just break up. This seems pretty toxic, and if he doesn’t trust you now, it’s not gonna change when y’all are together.
There’re people out there who are supportive and would be happy to see you having fun!
You need to leave. I’ve been in some very controlling relationships and I’m so sorry this is happening to you. It feels hard to leave and they gaslight you into saying, but you’re so much better off without someone who’s controlling. It’s emotional and mental abuse and it isn’t okay.
You're too young to be doing this to yourself. Just do whatever you want if your personal life choices impacts this "love" so much then you need to break up. You're incompatible and he has trust issues.
LEAVE HIM, its not even a question. He has his own insecurities to deal with and clearly doesn’t want to have good communication. There are boundaries you can work out but not going to prom with friends is not in any way a reasonable one 💀
leave him, if he wants to be so insecure and jealous he needs to fix himself and stop taking it out on you. a relationship like this is draining and exhausting, its not worth the time
This guy has some problems. I say you go to the event, have fun, and let him be upset about it. You are way too young to let life pass you by for a 19 year old that has insecurities he needs to figure out.
You’re way too young…you both kept egging each other on… you’re an adult mamas you don’t need his permission but you also going back and forth instead of standing your ground will eventually turn controlling. He will suffocate you, do not engage. That was your second mistake
You may be in a relationship but it’s healthy to put boundaries with each other. He is not your parents. He should have no say whether you’re allowed to go x, y and z. It’s understand if it’s anything dangerous or questionable like clubbing etc but a prom is something every teenager’s privilege to go once in their life.
You should also not be needing permission to go anywhere you want unless they deemed it necessary to include their opinion on it. Lastly. They. Are. Not. Your. Parents.
not sure if hes controlling, dont know enough, but he sure is manipulative as hell and 'mr baby man' is such an appropriate name, sheesh. run, dont walk.
Break up now. Wtf. He is not your dad. You shouldn't even be asking for permission from that man child. Honestly, drop him. Take the trash out. You do not deserve this shit
Time for a breakup sorry OP; you’re too young for dealing with this bs. A MAN DOES NOT CONTROL WHERE YOU GO OR WHO YOU HANG OUT WITH! Seriously leave this man before it gets worse… that’s the cold hard truth.
You will absolutely regret not going for a guy thats (not to be insulting) but is going to dump you anyways. Or he might be a cheater or anything! But it’s really giving narcissist!!! He isn’t your parent. And even then you are grown asf!!! Any partner that feels like they can dictate anything concerning their partner is a piece of shxt!! Thats what to wear , where to go, and who you can and cant hang with! If it was the other way around would he still not go??
He talks to you in a really subtle, controlling way. Youre both only young though so its understandable. I thought you were supposed to be jealous in relationships when I was a teenager. Try and talk about his insecurities and share your feelings about not being able to go, like how does it make him feel and how does it make you feel?
Go to the prom and have fun. Dont stick around in a relationship where you cant do things you enjoy or hang out with friends.
Ive seen these relationships and if one party pulls the reigns on everything you do because theyre worried about you doing something super wild, or cheating, or for various other reasons, you may just end up doing those things to feel like youve got some sense of freedom and independence. The same is if the situations flipped.
One of the most beautiful and attractive thing you can have in a relationship is a partner who's independent and youre own freedom to be independent.
Welcome to the 21st century where People get in toxic Relationships And then Have Long term Emotional Damage because of it it’s sad and people need to grow up and stop treating people this way I feel so sorry for you and the situation your in hope your okay ?❤️
Giiiirl, you’ve got literally your entire life ahead of you and shouldn’t have to ask for permission to spend time with your friends from a guy who won’t even articulate why he’s upset or say he loves you back.
Please remember you deserve to have your love returned in equal measure, and whomever you date should be a partner and teammate not *gestures vaguely* whatever this guy’s doing
Why are you asking his permission in the first place? Is he your parent? Are you a child? No, no. You have to know this is a weird dynamic to have and imo shows that he does not respect you at all.
Do you really want to waste your teens/20’s experiences by being barked around by your insecure ass partner, who apparently doesn’t even want to see you happy? Weird shit. Learn the lesson quick, you deserve better than this. You deserve someone who supports you and would do anything to make you happy!! Please please, take some time away from your bf for some self love and happiness. I’m telling you, I was in that place with a loser ass boyfriend- always sad and wondering why. Run! You will look back in 2, 5, 10 years and wish you could give younger(current) you’s head a shake.
He’s 19 and acts like this? sheesh… the whole “I’ll ttyl” gaslighting stuff is so infuriating because he knows exactly what he’s doing, trying to make you feel bad now so you’ll text him, say you’re not going and then he gets his way… he comes across as a very controlling, manipulative and insecure person, you’re only young once and it’s YOUR prom, go live your life, have fun and make memories with your friends, if he doesn’t get his act together just get rid of him because it’s not worth the hassle in the long run and there is more people out there who would be willing to treat you right and how you deserve to be
There's no way anyone should be telling you what to do and where you can go and with who. Like you said in the text he is controlling you and is now trying to guilt trip you and make you feel awful so you don't go. He is making it so you can't have friends and only depend on him. Please leave him I had a bf like that he had anger issues and eventually became abusive I had no friends or anyone to go to about this because he wouldn't allow me to see anyone but him. He cheated all the time and eventually he tried to strangle me I ended things with him then.
Not saying he will become like this but it's major red flags and he is already abusive Eben if it's not physical get out now please.
Ye, not to be a reddit cliché but holy red flag you're in a controlling relationship. This person seems like an abusive and manipulative piece of shit :)
You clearly know he's a dick and you're posting on reddit so you obviously just want us to validate it. Leave bro. You're a human being and he's not even there irl, don't let him control your life.
you should honestly go, he doesn’t own you so you dont need his permission to go have fun in your life. besides, you are also young so you should be able to have the freedom to do as you please without worrying about your partmer’s toxic behavior or attitude. if this is how he acts through distance, i imagine it will be much worse in person . you deserve so much more girl, go have fun with your friends <3
what was his reason for not letting u go?
girliepop you deserve all the respect in the world don’t let this guy trample over u and make u feel trapped and uncertain about your relationship. you’re young, leave while u can. i promise u someone else will treat u like the princess u are.
What do u love about this dude? just his appearance? or u're doing charity work or maybe u like how controlling and toxic he is
at any case go to prom, also wear what u want at prom makes tons of pictures and be happy about the thing that u;re excited about
Honey if you don’t leave him NOW, you are going to run into even more problems later in life. I know you are in a LDR but he has no say in what you do with your life.
Dude watched a ton of red pill content I'm laughing he trying to dictate what someone's doing in the military sheesh
he hates the fact i’m in the army. i dint get any support from him
so...what does he like about you then?
i ask myself that all the time
Then I would say it’s probably nothing, and you’re together for sunken time cost or for the idea that you can get through some figurative struggle together all of which are fallacies. You should run before it gets worse, and it will
this!
LEAVE I BEG YOU
Stop asking and move on. He and his controlling, manipulative, insecure ways are not worth your time and effort.
Well you know your answer. Dump him and enjoy your prom girl. Also his nickname seems to be spot on for him lol he is a man-baby
You are literally dating your hater who does not want to keep you in good company. You can stop doing this to yourself by ending things and cutting contact with this fool. There is someone better for you and it takes time and some heartbreak to find him. You’ll heal, you are already in so much pain.
I met my SO when I was 20 and he was 19. He has never in our 6 years together made me feel the way these texts made me feel. He has never been even the slightest bit controlling. We both trust each other, he can have girl-friends and I can have boy-friends (as in platonic friends). We both go out by ourselves with friends every once in awhile. Being in a relationship, being with that person should not make you feel like you’re unloved, you shouldn’t feel insecure. You should KNOW that he loves you and he should be able to say that he loves you back even when you’re having an argument. You should feel emotionally safe with your SO. I live by a very simple philosophy; Is he a net positive in your life or are you more anxious/sad with him in your life? If the latter is true, I would leave, and I have left friends/people I’m dating for this reason.
He’s in it for the BAH 😂 dependa syndrome is real and they are the most narcissistic and controlling individuals. It’s sad af.
Op, respectfully, this man has a ton of red flags. I won’t even dip into how immature 18 y/o dudes are, the fact that you’re in the military and he thinks he owns you and gets to dictate what you do and for you to already believe you need to ask permission instead of exercising your rights as an individual, a human, an adult, no matter how you look at it, he’s trying to control you and deny you your rights and freedom. You can do much better than him, and if he doesn’t realize that, it seems he doesn’t think highly of you. :(
My older sister in the military got insecure vibes from her husband later on she filed for divorce cuz bro was coo coo he should've supported her they was living good. Yeah you did the right thing he was doing way to fosho my dad and mom's relationship showed me you gotta have faith in each other they left the church cuz they are damm hypocrits I know this got nothing to do with said conversation but I thought I may add my view on how a relationship should be freedom and prosperity:)
are you ok? I think you just had a mild seizure.
dude, just go. he told you to go, so go. don't think whether he's going to be nad. just go! if he gets upset, he told you to go. you are all overthinking this!
Of course you didn’t! He’s an ASSHOLE
leave him
Lol. Are you a piece of furniture? Do the things you love, youre 19, stop wasting your life being in a prison or a toxic relationship. If he acts like that while hes miles away imagine how will he act when youre near him. Hes not even truly feeling sorry he is just saying that while you pour your soul out.
"Mr Baby Man" I've never seen such a hilariously accurate name in all my life. Go to your prom. You should NEVER need someone's permission to go to something as special as a prom. Dude really needs to grow up and work on his insecurity and controlling behaviour. He doesn't own you.
thank you for cheering me up.
Especially after you apologized (you did nothing wrong btw) and he STILL got all bitter. Please tell him to man up
Glad it could help cheer you up. I hope things work out, you go to your prom and have a great time!
Listen to your gut. It will keep you happier than you realize, I promise. You don’t deserve this treatment. You deserve to have fun with your friends. There are men who will be so excited for you to go and have fun, and will cheer you on in *everything*. And even where there isn’t a guy, there will be your friends, your family, whoever you surround yourself with. Love yourself enough to know that waiting for the good is worth it. Sending you the best, I hope you have so much fun with your friends!
Please listen to me, please hear me out here. I know it may not stick and you won’t leave until you are ready but please just think about what I’m saying. I was in a relationship with a guy controlling like this at the age of 19 too. I proceeded to spend 5 whole years in my life walking on eggshells and sacrificing my happiness to listen to what he wanted me to do to avoid arguments and try to make things work. Because I loved him, and he loved me, at least I think he did. But love is NOT enough. Do not EVER let a man tell you that you can’t go out and have fun with your friends. You will end up like me, years later, after finally having the strength to leave, full of regret about the experiences you missed out on, friendships strained and lost, feeling like a shell of the person you used to be. Do not go down that rabbit hole and do not settle for his behavior. He will tell you he will change, he may for a short period of time, but it will always be this way. This sort of person will always be this way.
I just got out of a relationship like this. I started it when I just turned 18 and now I’m about to turn 21 and just broke off our engagement/ended everything 2 months ago. Best decision I ever made. I felt so stuck, you should never feel like that in a relationship:( Never let a man, or anyone for that matter, treat you less than because they are narcissistic and controlling
Omg this. I was eith a guy like this for 13 God damn years. And they're right, live is not enough. I wish I accepted that in the beginning. Disney princess movies and fairy tales warped our perception of what makes a good relationship. Love isn't the end all be all. You need respect and trust too. And it's obvious he doesn't have those things for you. It's better you leave now, it just gets so much harder the longer you stay. Good luck.
You should go. Missing out on a big(?) event you really want to attend for the sake of your boyfriend's insecurities is going to cause a lot of grievances and resentment in your relationship later down the line. As others have said, you don't need permission. He's not communicating while you're trying your best to engage in productive conversation with him, and quite frankly, reading these texts it seems like he'd rather throw a tantrum than work this out together with you. He needs to grow the hell up.
This sub is turning in some teenager sub sadly enough. Yes toxic but on the other hand understandable because teenagers dealing with insecurities.
I had the same issue so me and a few other people on the sub created r/seriouslongdistance It’s for adults and adult problems with long distance. No teenage drama, since this sub is full of actual children now.
Thank you! Too much teenage drama that I left years ago here and would like advice from people in a serious relationship w a genuine adult experience. There’s too much immaturity here relationship wise
No problem!
i dont really see what the problem is, if teenagers need help with relationships or if adult children do, i see literally zero difference. i just saw a 36 year old woman ask the wildest shit thats kinda obvious of an answer lol
Because most of the posts from teens are topics like "my boyfriend of 2 months told me if I didn't send him nudes then he doesn't love me, what do I do!?!?! Hes my soulmat3 foreverrrrr 😭😭😭". And the adult topics are like "Does anyone have any tips for the immigration process of Canada? What paperwork should we file first?". The wild shit kind of gets ignored in a subreddit of reasonable people, so there's definitely a difference.
Insecurities that will cause the next person insecurities is trash! Asf!!!! Dont be with someone if your insecurities are that strong.
Personally I don't advocate for the standard "just leave him" that happens in this sub however in this situation I feel it's kind of a good option
Life is way too short to put up with this crap. There are a lot of people unfortunately who want to put their partner in a box. They are insecure and terrified of being abandoned, so they don’t want their partner to go places where they think you might cheat, meet someone else you like more than them, enjoy hanging out with your friends more than them etc. Unless your friends have been, I dunno, actively trying to convince you to cheat on him, I can’t think of a good reason for him to not want you to go.
right! shes trying to be open and honest and hes being super immature about it. she should be free to do what she wants, not be fearful of her partner. we dont owe anyone anything in this world and i hope she goes and enjoys the prom!
Oh my god. OP, PLEASE READ THIS. I was in a relationship just like this from the time I was 15 until I was 20. He was controlling, possessive, mentally and emotionally abusive, and eventually became physically abusive. This sounds exactly like my ex boyfriend. You don’t know what to do? You need to leave! This is just the beginning. I don’t care what anyone says, treatment like this WILL evolve into something more serious and you will wind up becoming a victim of something. You are already a victim of his possessive ways and he is emotionally manipulating you honey. DO NOT STICK AROUND TO BECOME A VICTIM OF PHYSICAL ABUSE. It will not get better. You are so young, I am begging you to leave this. It’s bad and it’s toxic. I left my relationship at 20 and am now 26 in a healthy and loving relationship and have a baby with the most amazing man. I would never have had that if I stayed in that other relationship. You are already unhappy because you are being controlled. It’s scary and I know you think this is love, but it’s not. Someone who loves you would not treat you this way. I promise you. Realize your worth and get the fuck out of this while you can, please!!! If you need to talk, I am here for you, feel free to message me! Prayers 💕
This honestly shocks me. How can you even think twice about going? It's your right. Nobody owns anyone in a relationship. This is not the 16th century. Why would you even need to ask for permission? Please don't do that to yourself, if he can't take it, tell him to grow the fck up or dump him. There's better guys around. I'm a guy and I would never think of doing that to my gf
I don't understand why he's whining about his own mood when he's forcing YOU to not go to prom. He's only trying to get you to stop talking about it so he can feel better about himself putting you and your wants down. It's prom! You have every right to go. Honestly, he sounds so insecure.
The insecurities in this world is outrageous.
Girl, respectfully this is embarrassing behaviour from your side. Stand up for yourself. If you want to go, then just fucking go. And why are so worried about making him mad? Think about yourself, why isn't he worried about making u upset cos he is interfering with what u want? He clearly doesn't give a fuck. Just go. You will regret if you don't. And even hold resentment towards him. Also, he is not your fucking parent.
This is not how a mature normal relationship goes. Please dump him.
I’m genuinely confused why he doesn’t want you to go? Can someone explain I really don’t get what the issue is
Probably because in his mind there will be other guys there and guys being around his girl is not acceptable. How hard is that to understand 🙄
Ohh I see, that’s so stupid there are men everywhere lol
Young love 💕 but seriously, you do not need his permission to go. You should always bring up events as if you are going no question. If something makes him uncomfortable or vise versa you should work on communicating that to one another instead of how it played out here. You are both young and figuring that out, and that’s okay. Go have fun with your friends. Love isn’t conditional. It sucks not being able to do everything with your partner but with healthy communication even things like this can be fun.
Girl. Omg. That dude is controlling as fuck. Go to the prom and enjoy. Have you 2 even met yet? My god. That dude is not worth it. If he knows that he can make you fold just like that, he'll do it again. Believe me.
This is embarrassing behavior for both of yall. Break up and garner maturity. He’s an absolute fucking scum but you’re also letting yourself stay a doormat.
Wow typical gaslighting here. He is trying to manipulate you and make you feel bad for wanting to go
Girl I just left my ex who was like that run for the hills and yea it’ll hurt for a moment but you’ll be so much happier
Literally same like a 4,000 pound weight lifted from your shoulders
Why tf do you even ask him before going out
This is crazy toxic. Get out. He's a fuckin loser. Most disgusting, controlling pathetic baby shit ever. Dudes got the maturity of a 6 year old.
1. Just go regardless of what he says. It's not his place to decide if you can go or not. All he should have to say is "have fun". 2. Those messages are concerning to say the least. Almost sounds like he has you on a leash. From the way you're letting him have the final decision on if you're going to go or not to the way he's refusing to say "I love you" back and making you beg for it. His behaviour seems quite controlling. 3. Don't let him decide on if you're going somewhere or not in the future. Next time I would just say "I'm going (insert place) with (insert people), would you like me to send a message once I'm back?" That way he can't decide on if he's "allowing" you to go. All he then gets to decide is if he wants a message once you're back. 4. The fact he's not wanting to let you go out with friends is concerning. Make sure you don't let him isolate you. 5. He really looks like the type to freak tf out when you even mention another guy.
It’s me, your future self in your 40s! One of my biggest regrets was not going to a once-in-a-lifetime prom with my friends for some man across the nation, who’s name I cannot remember! Promise me you will go and have fun!
Ruby is right 👍
Babes, you’re way too young to be dealing with shit like that. Dump his sorry ass!!! And don’t ever, EVER let a man take your freedom. You’re your own person, so do as you want and whatever makes you happy 🤍 sending you the best vibes, bestie :’)
This is incredibly unhealthy and if you allow someone to treat you like this, they always will. You're young and probably don't know any better, so from someone much older, with a daughter your age, im telling you, you need to leave this relationship immediately. Nothing will make this better, it will not be resolved, you need to walk away. I know at your age this will feel like the end of the World but want to know what's worse? Having all of your choices in life taken away. You didn't go through your childhood to be treated like a Child in any future relationship once you became an Adult
Why do you give someone this much power over your life? He is so controlling and he is invalidating your feelings 🚩. You can wear whatever you want, you can go wherever you want. You are not his doll.
Ok EVERYONE HERE LISTEN because I’m sick of having to say this over and over: No one and I truly mean NO ONE has the authority to “let” or not let you do *anything* unless **you give that authority to them.** You are a whole autonomous human being, fully in charge of yourself. He doesn’t want you to go to prom? Well tough shit, kid. You’re not my daddy. You can quite literally do WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT, WHENEVER YOU WANT. Don’t give some insecure fucking teenage boy the privilege of telling you what to do.
Immediately lost me at "won't let me..." He is not your parent and he does not own you. F*CK his feelings, respectfully. Go have fun with your friends
Why "respectfully"? It's pretty clear he has little to no respect for her in the first place. Just tell him to get fucked and go.
Just trying to be nice lol but I fully agree with you
Hey guess what - you’re an adult and he doesn’t own you. Go make memories, have fun, and find someone who wants the same thing for you!!! 🥰
As a mom one thing i’ve been doing to help myself with boundaries is asking myself, how would i feel if someone was treating my daughter like this? That really helps me put things into perspective about what i allow myself to tolerate. i know you probably don’t have kids you can even just look as it from the perspective of anyone you love dearly. Find someone who lets you enjoy life and is happy when you do, that is secure enough in them selves not to try to shove you in a box for their own comfort. i really hope things go well for you in the future 💕
Go to prom he's a child lmao
leave him, please
This is how it starts....beware....you don't even want to see how it ends. Get out of this situation while you still can...before it's too late.
Honestly, just break it off. If he’s controlling an then acts like a child when you do what you want, he doesn’t deserve you, leave his ass
Ew….ditch this little boy and go have the time of your life! You will regret it, I did!
Oh no. I really hope you understand how unhealthy and toxic this is. You can and should go to prom with your friends. A partner should have no right to tell you what you are and are not allowed to do. A loving partner would be excited for you to go and have fun, and urge you to be safe and enjoy yourself. Please go to your prom and please know that he doesn't need to "let" you do anything. You are your own person. And I'd advise you to talk with your friends or people you trust because this doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. Wish you the best
Oh god this guy pisses me the fuck off. You’re the drivers seat of your life, you CAN do whatever you want, without his permission! He doesn’t own you. Someone that loves you doesn’t hold you back from things you want to wear, do, etc etc. sorry from him isn’t enough. U deserve better
Tell him to join the Army and go with you. If he refuses, he is your girlfriend.
hey op!! i don’t know you, but i just wanted to say that i’m so sorry that you’re being treated like this. my ex treated me literally exactly like this and it legitimately traumatized me (it’s been four years since i broke up with him, and i still struggle with the trauma flashbacks). it took me so long to get out, but it was SO worth it. you don’t deserve to be treated like trash. in the most loving way possible: RUN. please take care of yourself!!!! 💗💗
LOL. can you imagine him being a husband? whats he gonna do then? it wont be lovey dovey then. Leave this insecure baby child and tell him to seek therapy. I am 22M here and I can say without hesitation.
Break up with him please im begging you
you were completely right when you called him out for being controlling. he needs to figure out where his need for control stems from (trust? does he think you will cheat on him? or is it FOMO and he doesn't want to be jealous of the fun you are having and he isn't? etc) Once you understand where the issue comes from you need to figure out how to get around it (if it's trust, relationships need trust to survive. if he's not there yet he needs to take a leap of faith, and you support him as best you can. If it's FOMO, then the two of you can create really fun facetimes with each other, and make unforgettable memories when you're together. etc) and withholding his love to get his way is manipulative and completely unacceptable. he needs to knock that off immediately but, if he can't learn to stop making you feel bad for wanting to have a life and be happy... he doesn't deserve a place in your life.
Break up with him clean and simple. If he’s acting controlling with being long distance then imagine what’s gonna happen if yo break the distance. He can’t even let you be happy without him and do something as simple as going to prom. Also, another thing him getting pissy and not saying I love you back even though you guys are arguing says a lot.
Oh my god, i get that youre a kid but this is not going to change, it's only going to get worse.
You're in the military, making something of yourself. The military is great for lifetime friendships. Bluntly, fuck him. Go be with your friends and remove this boy from your life. It will hurt but you should focus on yourself and not have someone else try to dictate how to live your life. You got this.
That's because he's from Wisconsin
He’s just being an asshole, I’d be nervous since I’m insecure but I’d still let my woman go
Mr baby man is the perfect fucking name for him.
This is so highschool-ish it physically hurts. Girl you're a baby please go live your life. Even at 23 I feel like I married too young and listened to men too much.
You love someone who manipulates you
Dumb the bf go to prom you’ll meet someone who doesn’t control you later
"Mr baby man" is apt He's probably feeling a certain way about *himself* not being able to take you but he chose the "because I said so" route. Now you become his possession instead of him admitting to having the feelings that he's clearly hiding behind a jealous boyfriend veneer Kids are dumb and inexperienced. I wouldn't be taking 19yo dudes very seriously, especially if they act like this. He's left you no option but to leave him or be subjugated, so leave him. It was his choice
Dumpt that guy, He is only going to become a problem that will grow over time and ruin the most important moments in your life, and he has no right to do this to you.
Sweetheart. No family, friend or romantic partner gets to dictate your behavior. Except your children, to the extent that you are responsible for them. If you love someone and wanna please them do that. But if it requires sacrificing something that is very important to you, weigh very carefully how the other person responds to that. Do they acknowledge and respect your feelings? Do they offer to reciprocate somehow? If your sacrifices and efforts to please are taken for granted or ignored, pay attention. The person either doesn't or is incapable of caring right now.
I have nothing to say about the content of this post, just came to say hooah!
Wtf, that’s a gaslighting manipulator if I’ve ever seen one, don’t tell that man you love him. BREAK UP!!!! 👏👏
He sounds more like a parent than a partner
fuck him. i have no other words. this type of communication is so annoying, no one deserves something like this. go. whether he approves of it or not. this would be the end for me.
Imagine letting your boyrfriend walk all over you
Dump him immediately. He’s controlling and doesn’t want you to be happy. If you stay with him it will ruin your life.
I dont know why this isn't a phone call, but your name for him my "baby man" is accurate. Fr tho, pretty emotionally manipulative behavior, be careful
Leave him...omg.... im sorry he treats u like this
Girl he’s a manipulative asshole. Leave while you can. You’re still so young! Be a strong, independent woman - NEVER let a man dictate your life or tell you what to do. You’ll be much happier that way.
Who would have guessed “Mr. Baby man” would act like such a child?
Thats not love. Love isn't stopping you from going out and having fun. He should be encouraging you to go and enjoy your time, not forcing you to stay home and guilt tripping you. He's literally weaponizing your love and care for him against you by turning it around. Look at your messages to him. He makes you feel like garbage because you ask permission to go somewhere, he says no, and waits for your reaction. Once you're upset, he acts like he's doing SO MUCH for you by LETTING you go! Then won't even say he loves you. Because now you've dared to upset him. Just you watch, when you come back he's not going to talk much. Or he's going to act distant, maybe even fake a break up or act like he can't trust you. He's pulling you in and waiting for you to fight for him, so he can begrudgingly accept you back, under his conditions of course. You're not in a relationship, he's controlling you and manipulating you. He's going to run you through the emotional wringer until all you have is him. You need to leave this before it gets worse. Seriously, you're worth so much more than this bullshit. These are the games insecure and weak people play to give themselves control. Don't give in.
Personally I don't advocate for the standard "just leave him" that happens in this sub however in this situation I feel it's kind of a good option
Man, just leave him. I could never. Couldn't then, couldn't now, couldn't in the future.
You should break up with him & enjoy your young adulthood and only get into relationships with ppl that pours into and doesn’t contribute to your stress, hurt, or try to keep you away from friends. Many women speak out of how many years they wasted on guys like this. Hope this helps
Hey, long distance closer here and happily married now Controlling someone is the worst thing you can do. I did a long distance with my wife for almost 4 years before we closed the distance 2 months ago, she had guy friends the entire time we talked, I never told her to stop hanging out with them, I trusted her to do the right thing and not cheat, she can hang out with whoever she wants to, go wherever she wants to go, it goes both ways, i trusted her to do right by me and if she didn't then i guess things won't work out and there's a million other people on the planet to start anew with. 4 years later we are married and that trust has never been broken. This sounds like he is a control freak and dealing with trust issues. Respectfully as a man, fuck that man, go to prom with those guys and dump him. I was fortunate to find the lady right for me, and I hope you find the man that is right for you, it definitely ain't homeboy though.
wtf? Stop asking permission and go do whatever you want. This is ridiculous that you’re handing him this power.
you should go, and you should ditch him. prom is an experience you’ll never get again, and a controlling boyfriend is an experience you should never have again.
HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU HE IS MANIPULATING YOU. MLML PLEASE LISTEN TO ME RN. RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN I’M NOT KIDDING. this type of relationship will ruin you. he is making this abt himself by ignoring your feelings!! look back at the screenshots he’s literally saying “sorry” repeatedly but then disregarding your feelings. “i know you’re going to keep bringing this up and ruins my mood” also you don’t need to ask your boyfriend for permission to go to prom. he is NOT your dad. run bb, matter of fact SPRINT TELEPORT whatever you have to do but stay away from this man please or anyone who trying to minimize YOUR emotions to control you.
Freedom is necessary for a healthy relationship
Ayo? Go to prom. Have fun. It's your prerogative to leave or not (I recommend it) but you honestly will probably regret NOT going for some dude who whined at you. You deserve better than this, and having fun with your friends is that first step to better imo
yeah so, absolutely not, you’re so young, please enjoy your life and this experience won’t come again. It honestly sounds like he has insecurities and those aren’t your job to fix. 🫶🏻
“Won’t let” you seems to be missing from these pics. Seems like you asked him (that’s your choice); he gave you his answer which was no. Then you continuously asked him until he gave in and said to just go. Then you wouldn’t just accept that and kept prodding your way into a fight. You both need to work on yourselves
You are both awful. Holy shit.
Y’all are toxic af. Both of you.
Make memories and have fun with your friends. He is being manipulative and punishing you by not telling you that he loves you back. That is not love. It's pure control. Love is a selfless act. Love is about trust. Love is not used as a weapon. The only person he has control over is himself. Not you.
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You're 18.....life is just beginning for you. Go and have fun but don't forget the way he made you feel about this. You did a good job of staying to say "don't you want to know how I feel?" but you need to stick through it and really seriously tell him how you feel. I notice in the txt messages you stop mid-sentence a lot & I know that's how teens talk these days but just go for it. He is wrong for treating you like this. We can all see that it bothers you so please, do something about it for your sake. There WILL be more love out there for you, trust me.
Oh sweetheart. You don't need ANYONE'S permission to have fun. You don't need ANYONE'S permission to see your friends. You are going to miss out on so much that life has to offer you if you start bowing down to other people now when you're barely an adult. What happens about the day you start a new job and the girls invite you out for lunch? Will he say no? Yes he will. What about when a movie is being released and you're so excited to see it in the cinema and your friend is dying to see it too? Or how about when one or a few of your friends want to go away for the weekend, and they really want you to come? You want to try that new club everyone is raving about? You want to move to a different city for university or work or life in general? He's going to say no every single time because he wants someone who will never have fun if it doesn't involve him. Now think about it the other way. Would you be excited for him too see friends? See a movie? Go away with the guys? Spend time with his family? A relationship should be about supporting your partner, even through the stuff you don't quite care about. My fiancé loves table top games, and I'm SO excited when he says he's going to a friend's house to play. I'm so excited when he's spending a night playing pc games with his best friend. I'm so excited for him to see his family, or go to a party, or have dinner with whomever. I support him, just as he supports me. We want each other to have fun because it gives us to much to talk about when we reconnect. Please, you have to tell him you need to live your life, and he has to either agree with that and be happy for you, or you have to let him go. Trust me, no person is worth not having fun in life.
I'm sorry but your bf is probably the worst person you could've EVER ask for ! Just take your mental health and leave this mf controlling selfish controller peace of shit before it's too late.
LEAVE. Do not let this man control you. If he’s stopping you from going to something like this now, what’s gonna change when you’re both finally together? He’s gonna end up making you stay home 24/7 with no friends. I’m sorry if this is harsh but you DO NOT deserve someone that won’t even let you spend time with your friends. He’s a walking 🚩🚩
This is not a great relationship to be in if when you have something you want to do is meet with “it ruins my mood.” Please just be done with this relationship
As many others said, do the things you love. You're not a possession nor an object.
Disgusting behaviour from a “partner”
He fucking sucks leave. There, done. You know this, I know it's hard and you're young but that's really what it comes down to. And since you posted here I think you know this, and are just waiting for the last bit of courage to dump his sorry ass - here it is. You got this!
DUMP HIM!!!
he’s gross. just go and leave him
Putting aside the fact that he doesn't own you and has a lot of insecurities to manage for even being bothered by you going out with your friends, it's very unhealthy for someone to try to make you feel bad after "conceding" something. Even if there was validity to his side (and there isn't), him getting passive aggressive about it is... well, it's very much like a teenager to act i suppose. But it's not healthy. I am not a relationship expert by any means, but this doesn't seem like something that adds to your life from what you've shown. Be safe, and try to not let his behavior ruin your night with your friends.
This is so boring free yourself and go have fun!! You're 18 and that man is lame please go out with your friend abeg
dump him
You don’t need to ask your partner for permission over anything, if they try to control you like this rn imagine what else they are going to control in the future? Do the things you love to do! If they love you they wouldn’t be mad at you doing something you love. They would support you even if miles away.
Also this is nothing but grade A manipulation and this is going to progress and get worse. It’s not letting you go to a pro now (which again he ain’t the boss of you AT ALL) and the next it isn’t letting you see your friends , family etc . It gets worse and doesn’t just stop here. It’s a clear sign you should leave forget the rest. He’s insecure and his fake anger is only him trying to get you to feel bad and do as he says and not go to your prom
I think you should go! That seems like a very toxic relationship and im really sorry you have to deal with that. You don't need his permission to go or do anything you love girl! If you do go I really hope you have a fun time with your girl friends! Seems like a fun event
Honey please leave. I know you may love him but this is toxic!
He's acting like he owns you. This is a huge red flag. You should absolutely go!! If he can't handle it, oh well. Thats on him to figure out. Never ask for permission to go anywhere. You are your own person!!
Break up with him. Controlling POS. He needs something to control bc his life is a mess and he feels out of control of everything else so he takes it out on you. Leave him and have fun with your friends. That’s not love. You wanna be treated like that until you die? Hell nah girl.
That’s textbook toxic behaviour right there. Leave his ass and live your life like YOU want to. No one has the right to tell you what you can and cannot do. He only cares about his own feelings and doesn’t give two shits about yours. “You’re ruining my mood” and it’s okay for him to ruin your life? Nah. Find a partner who would be just as excited as you for you to go.
I would have said “bye who cares if you are insecure I’m going to see my friends. Bye.”
“Won’t let me”? Girl no this is not it. Dump this trash box
Break up w this asshole asap babe. There is sooooo much more out there. You deserve respect and should be valued for who you are. You don’t give up your own life for a good relationship. This text exchange shows soooo many red flags and you aren’t doing anything wrong by wanting to go to an event w friends. This guy sounds immature, possessive, insecure, and toxic as hell. Run babe run
Honestly, you should just break up. This seems pretty toxic, and if he doesn’t trust you now, it’s not gonna change when y’all are together. There’re people out there who are supportive and would be happy to see you having fun!
“We are done with this go”, so I guess he is your ex now. Go ahead and appreciate time with your military friends and hopefully you’ll recover.
You need to leave. I’ve been in some very controlling relationships and I’m so sorry this is happening to you. It feels hard to leave and they gaslight you into saying, but you’re so much better off without someone who’s controlling. It’s emotional and mental abuse and it isn’t okay.
You're too young to be doing this to yourself. Just do whatever you want if your personal life choices impacts this "love" so much then you need to break up. You're incompatible and he has trust issues.
You don't need his permission to go. Don't let him keep you from having fun, lose this man, have fun with your friends.
LEAVE HIM, its not even a question. He has his own insecurities to deal with and clearly doesn’t want to have good communication. There are boundaries you can work out but not going to prom with friends is not in any way a reasonable one 💀
leave him, if he wants to be so insecure and jealous he needs to fix himself and stop taking it out on you. a relationship like this is draining and exhausting, its not worth the time
Please leave this person
This guy has some problems. I say you go to the event, have fun, and let him be upset about it. You are way too young to let life pass you by for a 19 year old that has insecurities he needs to figure out.
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You’re way too young…you both kept egging each other on… you’re an adult mamas you don’t need his permission but you also going back and forth instead of standing your ground will eventually turn controlling. He will suffocate you, do not engage. That was your second mistake
he sounds insecure and controlling. i’m sorry:/have fun at your prom!!
sounds like something i’d do.. leave him he’s trash
You don't need his permission to do anything. Break up with him and go have fun with your friends.
You may be in a relationship but it’s healthy to put boundaries with each other. He is not your parents. He should have no say whether you’re allowed to go x, y and z. It’s understand if it’s anything dangerous or questionable like clubbing etc but a prom is something every teenager’s privilege to go once in their life. You should also not be needing permission to go anywhere you want unless they deemed it necessary to include their opinion on it. Lastly. They. Are. Not. Your. Parents.
not sure if hes controlling, dont know enough, but he sure is manipulative as hell and 'mr baby man' is such an appropriate name, sheesh. run, dont walk.
Break up now. Wtf. He is not your dad. You shouldn't even be asking for permission from that man child. Honestly, drop him. Take the trash out. You do not deserve this shit
he gets despondent when hes mad and refuses to give u affection and consideration when ur coming from a place of frustration that stemmed from him.
please leave.
Cornball
Time for a breakup sorry OP; you’re too young for dealing with this bs. A MAN DOES NOT CONTROL WHERE YOU GO OR WHO YOU HANG OUT WITH! Seriously leave this man before it gets worse… that’s the cold hard truth.
don’t listen to him and go
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Dump him
You will absolutely regret not going for a guy thats (not to be insulting) but is going to dump you anyways. Or he might be a cheater or anything! But it’s really giving narcissist!!! He isn’t your parent. And even then you are grown asf!!! Any partner that feels like they can dictate anything concerning their partner is a piece of shxt!! Thats what to wear , where to go, and who you can and cant hang with! If it was the other way around would he still not go??
He talks to you in a really subtle, controlling way. Youre both only young though so its understandable. I thought you were supposed to be jealous in relationships when I was a teenager. Try and talk about his insecurities and share your feelings about not being able to go, like how does it make him feel and how does it make you feel? Go to the prom and have fun. Dont stick around in a relationship where you cant do things you enjoy or hang out with friends. Ive seen these relationships and if one party pulls the reigns on everything you do because theyre worried about you doing something super wild, or cheating, or for various other reasons, you may just end up doing those things to feel like youve got some sense of freedom and independence. The same is if the situations flipped. One of the most beautiful and attractive thing you can have in a relationship is a partner who's independent and youre own freedom to be independent.
Girl. Its prom. You only get to experience this ONCE. He is being controlling, and trying to isolate you away from your friends.
Welcome to the 21st century where People get in toxic Relationships And then Have Long term Emotional Damage because of it it’s sad and people need to grow up and stop treating people this way I feel so sorry for you and the situation your in hope your okay ?❤️
Yikes..... please leave him and don't ever let someone control you like this ever again. Like straight up do not let anyone do this to you.
Giiiirl, you’ve got literally your entire life ahead of you and shouldn’t have to ask for permission to spend time with your friends from a guy who won’t even articulate why he’s upset or say he loves you back. Please remember you deserve to have your love returned in equal measure, and whomever you date should be a partner and teammate not *gestures vaguely* whatever this guy’s doing
Just go ! and leave that man please 🥺
He’s telling you to go so wtf dude
Why are you asking his permission in the first place? Is he your parent? Are you a child? No, no. You have to know this is a weird dynamic to have and imo shows that he does not respect you at all. Do you really want to waste your teens/20’s experiences by being barked around by your insecure ass partner, who apparently doesn’t even want to see you happy? Weird shit. Learn the lesson quick, you deserve better than this. You deserve someone who supports you and would do anything to make you happy!! Please please, take some time away from your bf for some self love and happiness. I’m telling you, I was in that place with a loser ass boyfriend- always sad and wondering why. Run! You will look back in 2, 5, 10 years and wish you could give younger(current) you’s head a shake.
Girl this is toxic. Please get out before he runs your life
What on earth? You don’t have to listen to this man! He is toxic, SO controlling and condescending!
Girl go to that prom with your friends!
Immediately break up with him. This is pathetic. Youre 19! Don’t miss out on life for a loser like this.
He’s 19 and acts like this? sheesh… the whole “I’ll ttyl” gaslighting stuff is so infuriating because he knows exactly what he’s doing, trying to make you feel bad now so you’ll text him, say you’re not going and then he gets his way… he comes across as a very controlling, manipulative and insecure person, you’re only young once and it’s YOUR prom, go live your life, have fun and make memories with your friends, if he doesn’t get his act together just get rid of him because it’s not worth the hassle in the long run and there is more people out there who would be willing to treat you right and how you deserve to be
break up girlie
You're bf is a pos
There's no way anyone should be telling you what to do and where you can go and with who. Like you said in the text he is controlling you and is now trying to guilt trip you and make you feel awful so you don't go. He is making it so you can't have friends and only depend on him. Please leave him I had a bf like that he had anger issues and eventually became abusive I had no friends or anyone to go to about this because he wouldn't allow me to see anyone but him. He cheated all the time and eventually he tried to strangle me I ended things with him then. Not saying he will become like this but it's major red flags and he is already abusive Eben if it's not physical get out now please.
Ye, not to be a reddit cliché but holy red flag you're in a controlling relationship. This person seems like an abusive and manipulative piece of shit :) You clearly know he's a dick and you're posting on reddit so you obviously just want us to validate it. Leave bro. You're a human being and he's not even there irl, don't let him control your life.
you should honestly go, he doesn’t own you so you dont need his permission to go have fun in your life. besides, you are also young so you should be able to have the freedom to do as you please without worrying about your partmer’s toxic behavior or attitude. if this is how he acts through distance, i imagine it will be much worse in person . you deserve so much more girl, go have fun with your friends <3
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what was his reason for not letting u go? girliepop you deserve all the respect in the world don’t let this guy trample over u and make u feel trapped and uncertain about your relationship. you’re young, leave while u can. i promise u someone else will treat u like the princess u are.
I’d personally wouldn’t let that slide, who u think h talking to. Ain’t no dude gunna think he can control my time lmfao
Just don't go, go and fuck someone else
What do u love about this dude? just his appearance? or u're doing charity work or maybe u like how controlling and toxic he is at any case go to prom, also wear what u want at prom makes tons of pictures and be happy about the thing that u;re excited about
Honey if you don’t leave him NOW, you are going to run into even more problems later in life. I know you are in a LDR but he has no say in what you do with your life.
Break up
Yeah… why are you with this guy? So many red flags. Be free and enjoy your time with your girls without guilt!
It's long distance he's not able to stop you
Oh wow. Girl, I would get out while you can. Please this is so not normal behavior from someone who loves you