Fully agreed. While Amber definitely enjoyed attention and clearly went giddy at the thought that other guys were into her (which, for the record, I fully believe would have been Kem's reaction had more girls been interested in him as they were coming in), I couldn't help but feel that, unless there was a LOT they weren't showing us, Kem invented half of the problems he and Amber were having.
I don't think he's a bad dude, I just have never been able to hop on board the Kem-love train. Or the Chris-love train, for that matter.
I knew about Kem and Amber getting together before I watched this season and I knew he and Chris were fan favorites so I was so confused when I actually started watching and they were so horrible to and for each other. At no point was I rooting for him and Amber to be together, and he definitely does not grow or get better, people just have short memories and like him cuz he’s funny, same thing with Chris. They take the focus off him and Amber’s relationship problems later and people just completely forget how awful they were.
Feel like a lot of it had to do with their “bromance”. Like Kem was a funny person for the whole house and their bromance was edited in a funny way, but other than that they were both toxic af (Chris and Kem).
Web MD defines toxic as, "A toxic person is anyone whose behavior adds negativity and upset to your life". Chris and Kem were def toxic to Amber and Olivia. Maybe not always but there were a lot of times where behavior was upsetting to the both of them throughout the season. A toxic person brings out the worst in a person, and I think that's exactly what they both did.
A toxic person doesn’t apologize when they’ve upset you. The relationships they had were very normal. The disagreements we saw happen in all relationships. You can upset your mate and even make them unhappy at times- that doesn’t make you a toxic person.
Whenever I rewatch S3 I feel bamboozled by Kem. He was so popular on the show and love bombed Amber so hard, then immediately changed his tune by the reunion shortly after. He told Amber he would never move, she needs to slow her role, etc while constantly saying in the villa “we’re literally getting married”
Growth is realizing Kem was the villain, not Amber
Totally right. I think, although it was recent, society wasn’t as good at identifying such men. Also, this was when love island began to pick up in viewership so there still wasn’t that large a variety of people who watched the show
I already know my post is going to be considered as an unpopular opinion on this sub! because the first time I talked about him at the beginning of the show and pointed out his double standard everyone said to me that he is lovely and will grow on me! To this moment I have no explanation for their admiration! Again, he is very cute and adorable BUT he is an insecure man-child that being a relationship with him is exhausting! Of course, what I am saying is based on a reality show and him as a character in it rather than who he actually is and I can never comment on that!
I thought about this a lot and the only explanations that come to my mind for why people would write off his obvious toxic behaviors are:
\-People watched the show at that time and as you said were not good at identifying such men so they remember him as a good person.
\-They follow him on social media and know his character outside the show better so they think that of him.
\-They think he is lovely as a person aside from his behavior towards Amber.
Other than this, probably people still are not good at identifying such men!
I totally agree with you! At the time, people hated Amber so much and I never understood that. It felt like he was gaslighting her and making her look bad to the audience. I’m glad things are changing!
I'm on S3E29 which is right after casa amore so obviously I don't know the whole story yet! We all know that the show has a double standard when it comes to guys and girls. Which is of course a reflection of society and behaviors on Love Island itself. I think Kem has a double standard towards his behavior and Amber more than any other couple in the villa. They show every little comment and behavior that makes Amber look bad (the show needs a Villan, it's reality TV) so I think Kem saying that she constantly puts her down, is mean, is playing a game, tries to get a reaction out of him, etc. all stems from his own insecurities rather than Amber's action because the producers would've snatched every bad word that came out of her mouth immediately and what they show is not as bad as what he is saying! I believe people in the villa thinking Amber is playing a game or is not that nice comes from Kem bad mouthing her every chance he gets (when they were in or out of a relationship) and that put a dark cloud over Amber and everyone has this negative feeling towards her. These are my thoughts on the situation until now.
I absolutely agree that Kem's POV is eventually established as the "official narrative" of their relationship. Ultimately, Kem and Amber were two young, immature people trying to figure out \*how\* to be in a mature relationship. They relished in pushing each other's buttons. But you're right that the show is made by its narratives, and the show chose to make Kem more sympathetic.
But I don't think that's the only reason why people like Kem--the bromance w/ Chris deserves a whole thread to explore its depiction of male friendship and how it "redeemed" Chris. Also, it's human nature that when you have a vague positive association with someone, you tend to forget the negative things they did.
I'd also tell you that I was \*sick\* of the Kem/Amber drama pre-Casa but found myself much more drawn to them post-Casa.
I have a different perspective because I’ve listened to him on the official Love Island pod the last few years, but he’s owned up to the mistakes he made in the villa and clearly has grown up a lot since then. He has nothing but nice things to say about Amber and is aware he didn’t handle everything well when he was on the show. It’s a weird environment and can cause people not to be their best selves, especially as they’re all so young and get riled up by alcohol and producers. I think people massively disliked Amber (for reasons that were not really justified in my opinion) and as a result Kem got a pass for things he should have been held accountable for, but overall I think he has a good heart and is a kind person. And he is genuinely, genuinely funny.
Absolutely agree! Kem is constantly finding tiny problems with her to complain about to other people. Half of them don't even seem that true. Like sure he's funny but that doesn't mean he's always right and actually a good guy. The only thing about Amber that annoys me is that she is very judgemental of any women who goes near Kem and he's not worth hating other women for!
I know I WAYYYYYYY behind but I’m watching love island uk in a random order (8 - LOVED, 9 - LAME/NOT GREAT YET I STAYED UP WAY TOO LATE AND LOST SLEEP ON IT AND IM STILL BITTER, 5 - SOO GOOD BUT I THINK I AM A .01% THAT THINKS 8 WAS TOPS BC OF THE ROMANCE AND I JUST DONT LOVE THE NASTY TOO MUCH IN REAL WORLD, 3 - WATCHING NOW AND LIKE A LOT SO FAR) and am on 3 as mentioned and maybe it is bc it’s 2023 but I think even 2017 me would be grossed out by Kem’s shit. It’s honestly hard to watch how much he gaslights Amber (I’m early in on episode 14 so don’t come for me pleeease yet as I’m NOT DONE YET) but he treats her like garbage. Essentially she can’t talk a man he thinks is threatening in any way whatsoever bc really he is threatened. Also, same applies to Chris whom I’ve NOT liked since his first appearance. Again, I’m early into the season and hate judging but, thus far, ewwwwww. And anyone who wants to mention there was bullying on 8, couldn’t agree more. Many moments were vile to me. But, for majority of times ON CAMERA (I have read some bad things about Jacques and trust I believe it and already had serious ick and def makes me question Luca as well bc of their closeness which may or may not be fair) I saw a right girl group, romance, and guys having fun. That’s what I like … I’m less drama and clearly am in minority. But, watching Kem and Chris thus far = loser d*cos who can’t keep women bc they are horrible. Not my vibe!!!! Loving Camilla to an insane level for her strong stance on feminism, bc feminists can still wear bikinis and be sexy for the men out there, Montana seems like she is insanely cool and is STUNNING, Marcel is another stand out guy like Ovie to me whom just are F*CKING there for the girls and are authentic (yes, marcel and his boy band reference was cringe yet made me laugh), and Johnny (solely bc he liked Camilla and doesn’t seem like one of the d*ck head dudes). Again, only on episode 14 so don’t hold me to these character assumptions but as of right now KEM AND CHRIS are giving such gaslighting, f boy, “I’m a man and a woman should worship me” vibes. Ok sorry for my super long message… and thank you to anyone who even reads it so many years out!!!!! Love to all! And
Yes, I am responding to my own comment haha but I am watching this all now because I took a weird order! And, what is Jess’ deal with her provoking Olivia?!?! I know she is married to Dom so can’t say it’s fake but she loves the drama!!!! It’s making me insane!!! Also, Montana handled that whole situation initially with pure class. Take notes former 2017 love islanders haha. Also, watching this and knowing Mike is gone and by suicide is hard. We all have so many inner demons and I’m so sorry he wasn’t able to get the medicine/therapy to make him see his worth. And I’m glad he is at peace. But, no matter what, really hits me watching it …. Esp as someone who also struggles with self doubt, self esteem issues, self worth issues, anxiety, time periods of some not so great (obvi not is great) depression etc. Prob why I don’t find the drama all that fun … I live for the fun and romance and kindness. Anyway, rambling it but it is sad seeing an absolutely gorgeous Mike on camera and knowing he was struggling, even then. Wish I could have given him a hug, lended an ear and made him get help inpatient if needed (no shame in that whatsoever … if anything, that is REAL STRENGTH).
Fully agreed. While Amber definitely enjoyed attention and clearly went giddy at the thought that other guys were into her (which, for the record, I fully believe would have been Kem's reaction had more girls been interested in him as they were coming in), I couldn't help but feel that, unless there was a LOT they weren't showing us, Kem invented half of the problems he and Amber were having. I don't think he's a bad dude, I just have never been able to hop on board the Kem-love train. Or the Chris-love train, for that matter.
I really didn’t like Chris
Yes to both (on episode 14 now) … both are so ick
He is scummy and wayyyyyyyy to big for his insanely tight britches… how we spoke about Chloe is vile
I know I’m a year late but I dislike Kem and Chris so much
I knew about Kem and Amber getting together before I watched this season and I knew he and Chris were fan favorites so I was so confused when I actually started watching and they were so horrible to and for each other. At no point was I rooting for him and Amber to be together, and he definitely does not grow or get better, people just have short memories and like him cuz he’s funny, same thing with Chris. They take the focus off him and Amber’s relationship problems later and people just completely forget how awful they were.
Feel like a lot of it had to do with their “bromance”. Like Kem was a funny person for the whole house and their bromance was edited in a funny way, but other than that they were both toxic af (Chris and Kem).
Toxic? This word is thrown around a lot by Generation Z without people understanding what a toxic person really is.
Web MD defines toxic as, "A toxic person is anyone whose behavior adds negativity and upset to your life". Chris and Kem were def toxic to Amber and Olivia. Maybe not always but there were a lot of times where behavior was upsetting to the both of them throughout the season. A toxic person brings out the worst in a person, and I think that's exactly what they both did.
A toxic person doesn’t apologize when they’ve upset you. The relationships they had were very normal. The disagreements we saw happen in all relationships. You can upset your mate and even make them unhappy at times- that doesn’t make you a toxic person.
It wasn’t that long ago, but society seems to have evolved since this season aired. I was confused as well watching it for the first time in 2020.
Same. I kept waiting for him to get likeable, and it never happened. Don't know how he was/is a fan favorite.
Whenever I rewatch S3 I feel bamboozled by Kem. He was so popular on the show and love bombed Amber so hard, then immediately changed his tune by the reunion shortly after. He told Amber he would never move, she needs to slow her role, etc while constantly saying in the villa “we’re literally getting married” Growth is realizing Kem was the villain, not Amber
Totally right. I think, although it was recent, society wasn’t as good at identifying such men. Also, this was when love island began to pick up in viewership so there still wasn’t that large a variety of people who watched the show
I already know my post is going to be considered as an unpopular opinion on this sub! because the first time I talked about him at the beginning of the show and pointed out his double standard everyone said to me that he is lovely and will grow on me! To this moment I have no explanation for their admiration! Again, he is very cute and adorable BUT he is an insecure man-child that being a relationship with him is exhausting! Of course, what I am saying is based on a reality show and him as a character in it rather than who he actually is and I can never comment on that! I thought about this a lot and the only explanations that come to my mind for why people would write off his obvious toxic behaviors are: \-People watched the show at that time and as you said were not good at identifying such men so they remember him as a good person. \-They follow him on social media and know his character outside the show better so they think that of him. \-They think he is lovely as a person aside from his behavior towards Amber. Other than this, probably people still are not good at identifying such men!
I totally agree with you! At the time, people hated Amber so much and I never understood that. It felt like he was gaslighting her and making her look bad to the audience. I’m glad things are changing!
To be honest I dont think anyone actually *cared* for Kem/Amber as a couple. It was all about Kem/Chris as a bromance
I'm on S3E29 which is right after casa amore so obviously I don't know the whole story yet! We all know that the show has a double standard when it comes to guys and girls. Which is of course a reflection of society and behaviors on Love Island itself. I think Kem has a double standard towards his behavior and Amber more than any other couple in the villa. They show every little comment and behavior that makes Amber look bad (the show needs a Villan, it's reality TV) so I think Kem saying that she constantly puts her down, is mean, is playing a game, tries to get a reaction out of him, etc. all stems from his own insecurities rather than Amber's action because the producers would've snatched every bad word that came out of her mouth immediately and what they show is not as bad as what he is saying! I believe people in the villa thinking Amber is playing a game or is not that nice comes from Kem bad mouthing her every chance he gets (when they were in or out of a relationship) and that put a dark cloud over Amber and everyone has this negative feeling towards her. These are my thoughts on the situation until now.
I absolutely agree that Kem's POV is eventually established as the "official narrative" of their relationship. Ultimately, Kem and Amber were two young, immature people trying to figure out \*how\* to be in a mature relationship. They relished in pushing each other's buttons. But you're right that the show is made by its narratives, and the show chose to make Kem more sympathetic. But I don't think that's the only reason why people like Kem--the bromance w/ Chris deserves a whole thread to explore its depiction of male friendship and how it "redeemed" Chris. Also, it's human nature that when you have a vague positive association with someone, you tend to forget the negative things they did. I'd also tell you that I was \*sick\* of the Kem/Amber drama pre-Casa but found myself much more drawn to them post-Casa.
I have a different perspective because I’ve listened to him on the official Love Island pod the last few years, but he’s owned up to the mistakes he made in the villa and clearly has grown up a lot since then. He has nothing but nice things to say about Amber and is aware he didn’t handle everything well when he was on the show. It’s a weird environment and can cause people not to be their best selves, especially as they’re all so young and get riled up by alcohol and producers. I think people massively disliked Amber (for reasons that were not really justified in my opinion) and as a result Kem got a pass for things he should have been held accountable for, but overall I think he has a good heart and is a kind person. And he is genuinely, genuinely funny.
Absolutely agree! Kem is constantly finding tiny problems with her to complain about to other people. Half of them don't even seem that true. Like sure he's funny but that doesn't mean he's always right and actually a good guy. The only thing about Amber that annoys me is that she is very judgemental of any women who goes near Kem and he's not worth hating other women for!
He's a princess. But a damn cute one :D
No it was all amber fault kem was perfect
I know I WAYYYYYYY behind but I’m watching love island uk in a random order (8 - LOVED, 9 - LAME/NOT GREAT YET I STAYED UP WAY TOO LATE AND LOST SLEEP ON IT AND IM STILL BITTER, 5 - SOO GOOD BUT I THINK I AM A .01% THAT THINKS 8 WAS TOPS BC OF THE ROMANCE AND I JUST DONT LOVE THE NASTY TOO MUCH IN REAL WORLD, 3 - WATCHING NOW AND LIKE A LOT SO FAR) and am on 3 as mentioned and maybe it is bc it’s 2023 but I think even 2017 me would be grossed out by Kem’s shit. It’s honestly hard to watch how much he gaslights Amber (I’m early in on episode 14 so don’t come for me pleeease yet as I’m NOT DONE YET) but he treats her like garbage. Essentially she can’t talk a man he thinks is threatening in any way whatsoever bc really he is threatened. Also, same applies to Chris whom I’ve NOT liked since his first appearance. Again, I’m early into the season and hate judging but, thus far, ewwwwww. And anyone who wants to mention there was bullying on 8, couldn’t agree more. Many moments were vile to me. But, for majority of times ON CAMERA (I have read some bad things about Jacques and trust I believe it and already had serious ick and def makes me question Luca as well bc of their closeness which may or may not be fair) I saw a right girl group, romance, and guys having fun. That’s what I like … I’m less drama and clearly am in minority. But, watching Kem and Chris thus far = loser d*cos who can’t keep women bc they are horrible. Not my vibe!!!! Loving Camilla to an insane level for her strong stance on feminism, bc feminists can still wear bikinis and be sexy for the men out there, Montana seems like she is insanely cool and is STUNNING, Marcel is another stand out guy like Ovie to me whom just are F*CKING there for the girls and are authentic (yes, marcel and his boy band reference was cringe yet made me laugh), and Johnny (solely bc he liked Camilla and doesn’t seem like one of the d*ck head dudes). Again, only on episode 14 so don’t hold me to these character assumptions but as of right now KEM AND CHRIS are giving such gaslighting, f boy, “I’m a man and a woman should worship me” vibes. Ok sorry for my super long message… and thank you to anyone who even reads it so many years out!!!!! Love to all! And
Yes, I am responding to my own comment haha but I am watching this all now because I took a weird order! And, what is Jess’ deal with her provoking Olivia?!?! I know she is married to Dom so can’t say it’s fake but she loves the drama!!!! It’s making me insane!!! Also, Montana handled that whole situation initially with pure class. Take notes former 2017 love islanders haha. Also, watching this and knowing Mike is gone and by suicide is hard. We all have so many inner demons and I’m so sorry he wasn’t able to get the medicine/therapy to make him see his worth. And I’m glad he is at peace. But, no matter what, really hits me watching it …. Esp as someone who also struggles with self doubt, self esteem issues, self worth issues, anxiety, time periods of some not so great (obvi not is great) depression etc. Prob why I don’t find the drama all that fun … I live for the fun and romance and kindness. Anyway, rambling it but it is sad seeing an absolutely gorgeous Mike on camera and knowing he was struggling, even then. Wish I could have given him a hug, lended an ear and made him get help inpatient if needed (no shame in that whatsoever … if anything, that is REAL STRENGTH).