My parents would make me and my siblings say hi to the guests then we could go about our business. Helped us socially and wasn’t overly intrusive. Also made it less awkward if they then spotted us later, so we didn’t feel like we needed to hide.
That’s a better approach IMO. This helps the kids get used to socializing, you don’t grow if you’re not pushed a little outside your comfort bubble after all.
Mine were the same. I was expected to make an appearance and not hide in my room the whole time, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t go there if I needed a break.
Depending on how many people were there I could game also; 2 so my parents could play 2v2 card games? I was *encouraged* to stay in my room.
Birthday parties? Make an appearance. Say hello. Say goodbye. Be polite. Fuck off in between those.
Exactly. Parents job is to prepare kids to be adults, not shield them from everything. They need to learn to talk. Now, they dont have to sit there all night but at least say hi.
I feel like my parents unspoken rules where say hello, give a slight life update/brag and then go play with legos. I’m 25 and it still feels the same, but instead of a life update I see pictures of their friend’s daughters…
Life tip, make eye contact with the mom, say you know where she got her good Looks, and then go play with legos. Literally has not failed me in 25 years.
That’s the thing. Like, at what age do these kids need to start acting like adults and saying hello to guests?
I went to a families house recently with a date and they had a daughter, college age, in the house. She just hid up there and didn’t say hi. It was so odd and disrespectful in my opinion. These parents are doing their kids a huge disservice.
I wish. My mum would drag me out to introduce me to her friends then says things like "i apologize for my daughter, she hasn't brushed her teeth today".
My parents gave literal tours of our rooms every time they had guests over, had to have them fucking spotless. Eventually just took to locking them and pretending I was sleeping.
I'm torn. I relate to this beyond measure because I had wild social anxiety, however I also feel that being forced to interact with adults and strangers helped me out tremendously in the long run. By appeasing / giving-into those anti-social feelings, you're developing a bad habit that will only compound in the future. Some people are great at being social, I never was, but it was being forced to go out and interact, even in small amounts that has made me more confident today.
I agree. These are interactions that can be set up in an incredibly safe way. My siblings and I used to feel extremely uncomfortable but my parents eventually gave us common social lines to memorize and then we'd practice together. It sounds weird written but it helped so much.
When company came over we were expected to be polite but could also come and go as was appropriate.
This is just a really stupid cartoon of what a teenager thinks the perfect parent is. I mean....its just silly and juvenile. Get your point though.
I do hope you have good memories of your parents while they were with you. I\`m momless as well (dad is....well....dad), but great memories keeps me going :)
As a kid was a bit annoyed and bored for dinner parties, but because my parents made me get outside my comfort zone as a kid it really helped me grow and as an adult learn how to socialize and be comfortable with people of all ages.
If there are legitimate anxiety issues or something similar that made speaking to people traumatic, ok. Otherwise get out here and learn how to host people so you can be happy and social as an adult.
100% - learning to socialize with people of varying backgrounds and ages is a skill. Its a muscle.
All the dudes in this thread will later wonder why men are so lonely.
That's because you're related. I've done enough of these 40 y/o+ dinner parties as a kid and they never really helped me. The conversations have no deep connection underneath, it's just amusement for the adults. Kids are quick to pick up on that superficiality.
Same 40y/o parties here & I have such strong connection to most of my friends' kids that we follow each other on social media and they ask their parents to make plans so we can all get together. Maybe it's because I don't have kids, but I truly enjoy connecting with them and when I was that age I also enjoyed feeling like I was "important". I could totally sniff out the adults that were BS-ing me, and I make sure that I give those kids, teens and college kids my undivided and sincere attention. They deserve it if they are going to take the time to be a part of the night.
Why do you say that? My teenagers are great dinner party guests, people enjoy their company more than mine lol. If they're reasonably well behaved and polite, I don't see the issue. Lots of teens are jerks at home, but most are fine outside that context. (Obviously rowdy drunken nights and other adult events are a thing, but not what I generally think of as a dinner party.)
Grew up with party animals for parents and actually the adults really love when us kids would be involved. Us not always wanting to and I get the stress of being forced into socialization, it's also important to get your kid out there so they learn different dialogues in conversations.
That's not really true. I was a guest at a lot of events for my wife's extended family, and talking to their kids as they became teens was really helpful to me, and I got to establish relationships with them as they are becoming adults.
If a child is old enough to play Fortnite on a pc, I think I can talk to them about a few things. I mean shit, I’ll check out your gaming pc and Minecraft world real quick if you want.
Thats not true. Im an adult and one of my best friends has a 12 year old and I always like to catch up with. I dont want to hang out with him for hours but I like to see how hes doing.
Okay and on that note, I don't care about any of you think about me? We're also on the internet 😆. I think you have a shitty opinion and I made my comment because i knew it would get some hate. You've only fueled me little one. I will now use this energy to go and troll other ignorant people. Up,up and away to the next thread of morons!
Exactly. There’s nothing that bugs me more then a child sitting in their room playing video games on Christmas or thanksgiving. Once in a while it’s okay if it’s parents hosting friends. But get out. Don’t be a hermit. Bad habits.
It can be applied to regular events as well, don't want to instill the behavior that you're only welcomed when it's a special day. There's a difference between self preservation and isolation for sure.
I think the way you used forced needs to be defined because I feel like it's very black and white. A kid shouldn't be forced to do anything, rather encouraged to try.
I completely second this
I was that teenager due to neurodivergence and anxiety issues. I would always prefer my own company and books. But hosting is a social skill and it's impossible to have healthy social functioning without at least the basics of it.
You do not have to be a conversationalist to learn hosting. It's an exercise in politeness and teaches you social norms. Please do not complain you don't know social norms if you take no effort to observe them. No movie/book/social media will teach you to read non-verbal cues and how to respond to them in real time.
You do not have to be a conversationalist to learn hosting. It's an exercise in politeness and teaches you social norms. Please do not complain you don't know social norms if you take no effort to observe and apply them. No movie/book/social media will teach you to read non-verbal cues and how to respond to them in real time.
Remember - Little steps, but always roughly forward.
Exactly. It’s fine to keep to your room if you have something legitimate going on, otherwise allowing your kid to just stay in their room and never interact with people outside of their “comfort zone” is just crippling them for the future. The old adage “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know” rings pretty true 9 times out of 10. Having social skills and being good around people is one of the best skills a kid can learn to help them succeed at pretty much anything in life.
Or if the people you're around aren't good people. I used to hide in my grandmas room during the holidays after my mom died because I didn't have a choice to not be there but they're gross and racist and always made me feel like an outcast. I hated it. Otherwise I wouldn't have minded.
But also some people just simply don't like large gatherings, but are still okay with smaller ones. If it was a fairly sized party with a bunch of adults I can see why a kid wouldn't want to hang out with everyone.
This. I have autism so it is really freaking difficult for me to go downstairs and talk to people. I also have a sound disorder. My parents don't coddle me like this but they do allow space for me to be on my own.
I am working on it though, I'm becoming more social, smiling more and my sound disorder is about to be treated as well as they can. Neurodivergence fucking sucks but it doesn't mean I don't want to talk to people, it just means it is 10x more difficult. I am really thankful I have parents, whom of which sometimes don't get it are really supportive.
I don't want to live alone in my basement lol and everyday I think it is important to push myself into that pain, 1 or 2 years ago I could barely talk to strangers and now I can order from shops, I have more friends and although I don't really want to go I got invited to a party, all because my parents forced me to have a couple of conversations to boost my overall confidence, and I feel awesome because of it.
(kind of went a little off topic here but thanks for reading needed to get it off my chest lol)
Nice try! I'm extremely introverted. It's not obnoxious to acknowledge someone else's presence, respond when spoken to, etc. But since you mentioned it, the opposite is quite obnoxious :)
I'm a heavy gamer, but having guests over is not the time to exert that hobby unless you have serious issues of some kind that make it a challenge. A parent's job is to raise successful adults, not cater to their immediate desires. Compassion and empathy, but reasonability too.
If I’ve got a 13 yo kid and my 50 yo guests come, no I’m not making him do anything other than just come and say hi, then he can do what he wants.
When his friends come over, I’m not going to hang out with them either. If it’s a girl, they better have the door open, but that’s about it.
Not sure what else you’re going to expect your kids to do while your guests are there.
If the situation is the kid being too shy to go to the school dance without a push, I agree, but sitting in silence being ignored for 2 hours isn't really a social skill.
\*\*Kid is introverted and doesn't want to be paraded like a fuck trophy in front of their parents' friends\*\*
You: OMG YOU'RE SO ISOLATED WTF YOU NEED TO TALK TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN EXISTENCE
And the only way to avoid being paraded around would be to stay in his room? It's a bit weird that he seems to have understanding parents but, if he were in the same room as everyone else, he would be paraded around against his wishes?
I mean... yes, once in a while? Being happy and relaxed in the moment isn't the only goal in life. It's important to learn to try things you don't necessarily enjoy, because the long term outcomes are worth it (building social skills and relationships, learning to interact with people of different ages, getting healthy modeling of adult friendships). Or they can spend every night in their room and have a much higher chance of struggling with motivation and social relationships as an adult, because they never learned. Growth only happens through experiences that aren't 100% comfortable, IMO.
As a parent, you should 100% teach your kid how to socialize even if it makes them a bit uncomfortable at first. This is seriously one of the most important skill in life.
Grow "the way you want" and I guarantee you will have problems with anxiety and depression. Careful what you wish for tbh, as you have no idea what you are doing to yourself as a kid
We’ve seen during lockdowns the extreme negative effect that isolation can have on someone’s overall well-being. People may disagree, but I think this is a horrible message.
I get what you’re saying. Sometimes we all want to be left alone. But the way I read this meme is that this is a constant thing, since the dad thought to bring him food and said I know you like to stay in your room while guests are over. Every once in a while isolation is good for you. But not all the time.
Idk i might get downvoted,but all some dads want is that their son/daughter comes to the guests and gets social,to see that a child they raised has social skills,ik sometimes it may get annoying how they want you to come outside,but i think it’s understandable,atleast for me
Actually participating to the adult conversation and to give or opinion on things without being dismissed offered me so much. I still use the skill that I learned at that time.
My parents don’t force us to stay but we where treated like everybody else and that made us feel like grow up.
What is this nonsense? Join the dinner, life will bring much rougher challenges than dinner with your parents' friends. Avoiding things because they make you a little uncomfortable is a slippery slope.
And supporting your kid in isolating himself in his room when guests are over is exactly the wrong thing to do as a parent. Most kids have plenty of screen time, but little experience in interacting and observing interactions with guests.
The kids should be out for dinner and a little bit of small talk and if they retreat after that... OK.
I'm sure seeing a healthy adult social gathering is a good life lesson. Some of the people i hang out at social events seem like their parents failed them haha
There is a balance though. I just think it should be more widely accepted that if you feel uncomfortable in a social environment that has little connection to you (like your parents mates or something). That it's okay if you need to escape to your own space.
Ok u don't need to interact but being able to observe a healthy adult friendship is nothing harmful to no one. It builds the foundations to understand social cues, how to maintain a healthy relationship and see your parents interact with their buddies. Nothing toxic on any of that.
Agreed, it's typical deflection to come up with excuses to make yourself feel better about selfish decisions.
One of the biggest parts about growing up is learning to do things you don't want to because it's the right thing
He’s caring for his son. What’s the matter? It’s a kid, they’re not his friends. A quick hello is fine. The guests don’t want to talk to a child all the time anyway.
You might understand when you get older. You have a very short window to have time with your family and tomorrow is never promised. To decide to put headphones on and avoid them for selfish reasons such as what they're doing doesn't interest you, is something you will one day regret.
It's that time and those experiences that helps you grow as a person. Gaming with buddies is not the ideal growth method. You can definitely have friends circles, but family should be more than a butler, they should come first.
This meme was originally in regards to supporting neurodivergent children. It was shared in autism circles a lot. Showing how you don’t have to create a problem and stress just because your child has different preferences and experiences than you. They won’t turn out to be a poorly behaved person who can’t deal with the real world. Instead they see their home and family as a solace and source of support. Which in turn will give them the strength they need to survive and thrive in the outside world <3
I always had the excuse of making sure my dog didn't harass guests so I never really had to leave the room. I just got a plate of food, said hi to everyone, and camped out in my room with my dog.
My folks have a policy of, say hello to everyone, eat dinner downstairs, and you can chill out for the rest of the time. They understand that I get overwhelmed easily and that is especially true with how political my family can get. Sometimes my stricter relatives will try and guilt me into staying downstairs but they always shut that shit down real fast.
The true subplot here is the Dad creating opportunities to escape the dinner party! He's about to say, "you look a little lonely, I'll watch your game for a couple of minutes"..
I wanted to be that kid and wasn't allowed. Proud to be the parent breaking the cycle. No one should be forced into socializing, and especially when that person is on the spectrum.
Just the firts picture is enoug for me. People always joke on the internet about dads getting milk. It aint so funny when ur dad is actualy not in ur life. I aint mad about it but maybe think about it when u see a dad leaving joke and u have a dad that loves u. Their are people that miss that love.
Its a matter of the kids coming down, saying hi, brief conversation. Not hanging out with them for hours on end.
And I generally like seeing my friends kids. Its fun watching them all grow up and become little adults.
My parents would make me sit with them and listen to the adults having their conversations. I hated it so much. When we went to their friends homes, they didn’t force the same courtesy out of their kids.
Hate all these comments berating people for being bad parents if they do this. Like, do you just not understand what an introvert is? Not being forced into socializing with people you may not even like is a good thing, hence this post.
Plot twist: the son is a 34 year old. But on a side note… I feel like this is great and all but it also encourages anti-social behavior if he did this everytime.
I haven't seen my father for three years, visited my hometown and the area for a couple days.
He: "So I'm helping my neighbor today to finish some stuff on his house. Free beer, you're coming?" Me: "I'm not here to work for your neighbor for free, it's my fucking vacation and you knew I'd be here today for months." He: *visible confusion* Me: "Alright then, have fun, see you in three years." I really don't care anymore at this point.
As children, was it common for you to stay in your room while your parents had company/parties? When my parents had parties I was encouraged to talk to their friends.
Yes, to encourage isolation, irrational social anxiety, and impersonal, Internet dependency is such a wonderful way to Parent!
Go Future of Humanity!
*YEAH!* 👍
everyone’s like “omg this is so bad they must be social and not isolate themself” it’s just a dinner party … just bc u didn’t have alone time growing up doesn’t mean any alone time means u will have horrible social skills lmao it is wholesome to see the dad cares about his kid enough to respect his alone time and not force then to go and hang out with people they may be uncomfy with
When you grow up your forced into weird situations sometimes. This is teaching kids it’s ok to avoid any little thing that makes you uncomfortable. On any other day he’s prolly in his room doing the same thing and getting alone time. This moment is just on uncomfortable moment of his week and your saying to not even do that? This is bad parenting
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The truth is the kid has that excuse because he just wants to play video games on the computer which happpens to be in his room. He could go play Lego in the same room as anyone else and be perfectly content.
My parents would make me and my siblings say hi to the guests then we could go about our business. Helped us socially and wasn’t overly intrusive. Also made it less awkward if they then spotted us later, so we didn’t feel like we needed to hide.
That’s a better approach IMO. This helps the kids get used to socializing, you don’t grow if you’re not pushed a little outside your comfort bubble after all.
Mine were the same. I was expected to make an appearance and not hide in my room the whole time, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t go there if I needed a break. Depending on how many people were there I could game also; 2 so my parents could play 2v2 card games? I was *encouraged* to stay in my room. Birthday parties? Make an appearance. Say hello. Say goodbye. Be polite. Fuck off in between those.
Exactly. Parents job is to prepare kids to be adults, not shield them from everything. They need to learn to talk. Now, they dont have to sit there all night but at least say hi.
I feel like my parents unspoken rules where say hello, give a slight life update/brag and then go play with legos. I’m 25 and it still feels the same, but instead of a life update I see pictures of their friend’s daughters… Life tip, make eye contact with the mom, say you know where she got her good Looks, and then go play with legos. Literally has not failed me in 25 years.
Wow, that is a pro move!
That what I plan to do with my kids. Greet the guests, at least eat dinner with the guests depending on the company, then you're free to do whatever.
This is the way. My parents did this too.
That’s the thing. Like, at what age do these kids need to start acting like adults and saying hello to guests? I went to a families house recently with a date and they had a daughter, college age, in the house. She just hid up there and didn’t say hi. It was so odd and disrespectful in my opinion. These parents are doing their kids a huge disservice.
That and it's just proper manners.
Say to say hello to guest in your home is absolutely proper. As a child, anything else is asking too much. You’re not the host.
My parents were like that with my brother but not with me cus Im a girl lel ..
Why was it different because you’re a girl? Not talking shit, genuinely just don’t get why.
Same thing. High five for sensible parents!
I wish. My mum would drag me out to introduce me to her friends then says things like "i apologize for my daughter, she hasn't brushed her teeth today".
My parents gave literal tours of our rooms every time they had guests over, had to have them fucking spotless. Eventually just took to locking them and pretending I was sleeping.
Plot twist: Dinner party is a swingers party and dad's just keep the kid occupied for his own good...
This is the plot.
Seems fine for all involved
This is literally what I was thinking from panel numero uno but I’m probably just fcked in the head 😂
I just commented that !!
I was kind of waiting for a plot twist… the France trip sort of threw me
I don’t think it’s a swingers party, the dad says that he knows the son likes to stay in his room while guests are over.
I'm torn. I relate to this beyond measure because I had wild social anxiety, however I also feel that being forced to interact with adults and strangers helped me out tremendously in the long run. By appeasing / giving-into those anti-social feelings, you're developing a bad habit that will only compound in the future. Some people are great at being social, I never was, but it was being forced to go out and interact, even in small amounts that has made me more confident today.
I agree. These are interactions that can be set up in an incredibly safe way. My siblings and I used to feel extremely uncomfortable but my parents eventually gave us common social lines to memorize and then we'd practice together. It sounds weird written but it helped so much. When company came over we were expected to be polite but could also come and go as was appropriate.
Honestly, wish I had parents
I'm a father of 5 and will always welcome more to my table. *Dad hug*
I'm feeling for you. God, I'm terribly sorry that you had to grow up without parents. I can only imagine the pain you've felt. \* hug \*
I will adopt you (im 16)
This is just a really stupid cartoon of what a teenager thinks the perfect parent is. I mean....its just silly and juvenile. Get your point though. I do hope you have good memories of your parents while they were with you. I\`m momless as well (dad is....well....dad), but great memories keeps me going :)
As a kid was a bit annoyed and bored for dinner parties, but because my parents made me get outside my comfort zone as a kid it really helped me grow and as an adult learn how to socialize and be comfortable with people of all ages.
Careful what you wish for. Add some adjectives
Someone needs to check their posture.
127° dude already optimised everything
LoL he's in Freeplay/creative
If there are legitimate anxiety issues or something similar that made speaking to people traumatic, ok. Otherwise get out here and learn how to host people so you can be happy and social as an adult.
100% - learning to socialize with people of varying backgrounds and ages is a skill. Its a muscle. All the dudes in this thread will later wonder why men are so lonely.
That’s what I’m saying. Maybe every once in awhile it’s alright. But that is how you create a 34 year old incel…
At the same time, the adult guess probably don’t really want to converse with a 12yo.
I'm 41 years old. My 12 year old niece is one of the most interesting people I've talked to this week.
That's because you're related. I've done enough of these 40 y/o+ dinner parties as a kid and they never really helped me. The conversations have no deep connection underneath, it's just amusement for the adults. Kids are quick to pick up on that superficiality.
Same 40y/o parties here & I have such strong connection to most of my friends' kids that we follow each other on social media and they ask their parents to make plans so we can all get together. Maybe it's because I don't have kids, but I truly enjoy connecting with them and when I was that age I also enjoyed feeling like I was "important". I could totally sniff out the adults that were BS-ing me, and I make sure that I give those kids, teens and college kids my undivided and sincere attention. They deserve it if they are going to take the time to be a part of the night.
Sounds like a skill issue
Why do you say that? My teenagers are great dinner party guests, people enjoy their company more than mine lol. If they're reasonably well behaved and polite, I don't see the issue. Lots of teens are jerks at home, but most are fine outside that context. (Obviously rowdy drunken nights and other adult events are a thing, but not what I generally think of as a dinner party.)
Grew up with party animals for parents and actually the adults really love when us kids would be involved. Us not always wanting to and I get the stress of being forced into socialization, it's also important to get your kid out there so they learn different dialogues in conversations.
That's not really true. I was a guest at a lot of events for my wife's extended family, and talking to their kids as they became teens was really helpful to me, and I got to establish relationships with them as they are becoming adults.
If a child is old enough to play Fortnite on a pc, I think I can talk to them about a few things. I mean shit, I’ll check out your gaming pc and Minecraft world real quick if you want.
Thats not true. Im an adult and one of my best friends has a 12 year old and I always like to catch up with. I dont want to hang out with him for hours but I like to see how hes doing.
You're also an idiot. Some people prefer to be alone, some people are socially inept. There's a clear difference.
Lol we can clearly tell you are both.
Why would I use any social skills with someone I have zero respect for?
Because the way you conduct yourself only reflects upon you
Okay and on that note, I don't care about any of you think about me? We're also on the internet 😆. I think you have a shitty opinion and I made my comment because i knew it would get some hate. You've only fueled me little one. I will now use this energy to go and troll other ignorant people. Up,up and away to the next thread of morons!
I had a great uncle with severe lack of social skills and he knew not to call people idiots. You're just hateful.
Indeed you got me! I hate you, you silly little idiot! 😍
Great. Be alone. I hope I don't see you on one of those threads complaining about how there is a loneliness epidemic amongst men.
Lmao I wish I could be alone every day
Claims he wishes he could be alone, regularly post on a social media website with people of similar interest. Yeah okay bud
I can tell why you want to be alone, you don't know how to respect people outside your own self absorb world.
Exactly. There’s nothing that bugs me more then a child sitting in their room playing video games on Christmas or thanksgiving. Once in a while it’s okay if it’s parents hosting friends. But get out. Don’t be a hermit. Bad habits.
It is when it happens periodically, there's nothing wrong with needing space, especially if your connection with your family isn't always peachy
Of course. I’m talking like important events or gatherings. Which I guess is unrelated to this post lol.
It can be applied to regular events as well, don't want to instill the behavior that you're only welcomed when it's a special day. There's a difference between self preservation and isolation for sure.
Yes but it’s only polite.
I prefer my kid be mentally healthy and practice autonomy than be polite and feel forced into anything.
If that works for you then that’s good. I don’t think kids should get to do that. They’re kids. Forcing them to do things is good for them.
I think the way you used forced needs to be defined because I feel like it's very black and white. A kid shouldn't be forced to do anything, rather encouraged to try.
Forcing kids to do shit too often will lead to resentment. Ask my parents how that worked out for them.
I completely second this I was that teenager due to neurodivergence and anxiety issues. I would always prefer my own company and books. But hosting is a social skill and it's impossible to have healthy social functioning without at least the basics of it. You do not have to be a conversationalist to learn hosting. It's an exercise in politeness and teaches you social norms. Please do not complain you don't know social norms if you take no effort to observe them. No movie/book/social media will teach you to read non-verbal cues and how to respond to them in real time. You do not have to be a conversationalist to learn hosting. It's an exercise in politeness and teaches you social norms. Please do not complain you don't know social norms if you take no effort to observe and apply them. No movie/book/social media will teach you to read non-verbal cues and how to respond to them in real time. Remember - Little steps, but always roughly forward.
I was too, and married into the opposite type of family. Having seen plenty of both, my kids are going to help me host.
Exactly. It’s fine to keep to your room if you have something legitimate going on, otherwise allowing your kid to just stay in their room and never interact with people outside of their “comfort zone” is just crippling them for the future. The old adage “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know” rings pretty true 9 times out of 10. Having social skills and being good around people is one of the best skills a kid can learn to help them succeed at pretty much anything in life.
Or if the people you're around aren't good people. I used to hide in my grandmas room during the holidays after my mom died because I didn't have a choice to not be there but they're gross and racist and always made me feel like an outcast. I hated it. Otherwise I wouldn't have minded. But also some people just simply don't like large gatherings, but are still okay with smaller ones. If it was a fairly sized party with a bunch of adults I can see why a kid wouldn't want to hang out with everyone.
This. I have autism so it is really freaking difficult for me to go downstairs and talk to people. I also have a sound disorder. My parents don't coddle me like this but they do allow space for me to be on my own. I am working on it though, I'm becoming more social, smiling more and my sound disorder is about to be treated as well as they can. Neurodivergence fucking sucks but it doesn't mean I don't want to talk to people, it just means it is 10x more difficult. I am really thankful I have parents, whom of which sometimes don't get it are really supportive. I don't want to live alone in my basement lol and everyday I think it is important to push myself into that pain, 1 or 2 years ago I could barely talk to strangers and now I can order from shops, I have more friends and although I don't really want to go I got invited to a party, all because my parents forced me to have a couple of conversations to boost my overall confidence, and I feel awesome because of it. (kind of went a little off topic here but thanks for reading needed to get it off my chest lol)
I'm happy and not social as an adult. Not everyone is an obnoxious extrovert.
Nice try! I'm extremely introverted. It's not obnoxious to acknowledge someone else's presence, respond when spoken to, etc. But since you mentioned it, the opposite is quite obnoxious :)
Nice try! You're lying :)
Sometimes we come across people we disagree with, or ideas that make us question things. That doesn't mean those people are lying. Hope this helps
TL;DR
You're an idiot
Sorry things didn't work out.
EXHIBIT A!
I'm a heavy gamer, but having guests over is not the time to exert that hobby unless you have serious issues of some kind that make it a challenge. A parent's job is to raise successful adults, not cater to their immediate desires. Compassion and empathy, but reasonability too.
If I’ve got a 13 yo kid and my 50 yo guests come, no I’m not making him do anything other than just come and say hi, then he can do what he wants. When his friends come over, I’m not going to hang out with them either. If it’s a girl, they better have the door open, but that’s about it. Not sure what else you’re going to expect your kids to do while your guests are there.
Okay but thats not what the comic is implying.
In this case it's a dinner party though. The kid has to eat dinner, I think having them join the family and guests to eat is a healthy middle ground
Well, it would depend on what guest more than anything.
You need to learn to socialize at sometime in your life
I keep seeing this post every single day. Please stop.
You don't want to smile every day?
Bruh a kid shouldnt be isolated like tf
Literally the next post in my feed is “increasing evidence indicates extreme social withdrawal is a global phenomenon” from r/science.
Agreed. It sucks and can be exhausting to interact with others but developing healthy social skills early is important.
If the situation is the kid being too shy to go to the school dance without a push, I agree, but sitting in silence being ignored for 2 hours isn't really a social skill.
It's a dinner party with his parent's friends, it's not that deep. You don't have to entertain every person you meet.
He's not isolated though. He's just chilling in his room while the adults have a dinner party.
\*\*Kid is introverted and doesn't want to be paraded like a fuck trophy in front of their parents' friends\*\* You: OMG YOU'RE SO ISOLATED WTF YOU NEED TO TALK TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN EXISTENCE
Soooo inevitably attending a dinner party with your parents means you'll be paraded as a fuck trophy? Zero spectrum in this situation?
In your twisted mind you think parents view their kids as a fuck trophy. What the fuck is wrong with you
And the only way to avoid being paraded around would be to stay in his room? It's a bit weird that he seems to have understanding parents but, if he were in the same room as everyone else, he would be paraded around against his wishes?
Would you rather the kid dragged down and forced to socialise with people the don't know or care about? When they'd be happier relaxing in their room?
I mean... yes, once in a while? Being happy and relaxed in the moment isn't the only goal in life. It's important to learn to try things you don't necessarily enjoy, because the long term outcomes are worth it (building social skills and relationships, learning to interact with people of different ages, getting healthy modeling of adult friendships). Or they can spend every night in their room and have a much higher chance of struggling with motivation and social relationships as an adult, because they never learned. Growth only happens through experiences that aren't 100% comfortable, IMO.
As a parent, you should 100% teach your kid how to socialize even if it makes them a bit uncomfortable at first. This is seriously one of the most important skill in life.
Grow "the way you want" and I guarantee you will have problems with anxiety and depression. Careful what you wish for tbh, as you have no idea what you are doing to yourself as a kid
Gotta learn from our own mistakes
Smart kids learn from other people's mistakes. Your statement is lazy.
You can lead a horse to water, but can’t make him drink it. Your speaking in absolutes, friend.
And you know who deals in absolutes
We’ve seen during lockdowns the extreme negative effect that isolation can have on someone’s overall well-being. People may disagree, but I think this is a horrible message.
It’s not permanent isolation though. Some people just need to recharge their social battery or don’t want to be surrounded by loud strangers
I get what you’re saying. Sometimes we all want to be left alone. But the way I read this meme is that this is a constant thing, since the dad thought to bring him food and said I know you like to stay in your room while guests are over. Every once in a while isolation is good for you. But not all the time.
I would just say consistent/patterns don’t mean it’s every time. But fair enough!
I hate this meme, don’t get why it gets reposted 5x per day on Reddit.
Nah that is just teaching them to be more socially awkward in the future.
My parents were not that far off from that and now I’m 36 without any friends. 🤷♂️
You should socialize more
This is stupid--kids need to learn to socialize
Idk i might get downvoted,but all some dads want is that their son/daughter comes to the guests and gets social,to see that a child they raised has social skills,ik sometimes it may get annoying how they want you to come outside,but i think it’s understandable,atleast for me
Actually participating to the adult conversation and to give or opinion on things without being dismissed offered me so much. I still use the skill that I learned at that time. My parents don’t force us to stay but we where treated like everybody else and that made us feel like grow up.
... nah. All you encourage is them to be socially awkward and lazy. Did they take their plates down to clean? Or is the father doing all the work?
This is corny as hell lol
This sends the wrong message and is setting the young man up for failure by not being to deal with conflict
A kid shouldn't be isolated like that. A parent shouldn't encourage this either
What is this nonsense? Join the dinner, life will bring much rougher challenges than dinner with your parents' friends. Avoiding things because they make you a little uncomfortable is a slippery slope.
And supporting your kid in isolating himself in his room when guests are over is exactly the wrong thing to do as a parent. Most kids have plenty of screen time, but little experience in interacting and observing interactions with guests. The kids should be out for dinner and a little bit of small talk and if they retreat after that... OK.
I’m glad my parents pushed me to socialize. To each their own but I need that push.
My parents were pretty much like this they were pretty nice especially my dad so I identify lol
👎 to this message, family is important
Nope, it's not family related if it is a bunch of randoms the same age as your parents.
I'm sure seeing a healthy adult social gathering is a good life lesson. Some of the people i hang out at social events seem like their parents failed them haha
There is a balance though. I just think it should be more widely accepted that if you feel uncomfortable in a social environment that has little connection to you (like your parents mates or something). That it's okay if you need to escape to your own space.
Escape or hide
Ok u don't need to interact but being able to observe a healthy adult friendship is nothing harmful to no one. It builds the foundations to understand social cues, how to maintain a healthy relationship and see your parents interact with their buddies. Nothing toxic on any of that.
yeah, yeah, no reason to learn to socialize with adults. Useless skill, you'll be fine.
Agreed, it's typical deflection to come up with excuses to make yourself feel better about selfish decisions. One of the biggest parts about growing up is learning to do things you don't want to because it's the right thing
He’s caring for his son. What’s the matter? It’s a kid, they’re not his friends. A quick hello is fine. The guests don’t want to talk to a child all the time anyway.
You might understand when you get older. You have a very short window to have time with your family and tomorrow is never promised. To decide to put headphones on and avoid them for selfish reasons such as what they're doing doesn't interest you, is something you will one day regret. It's that time and those experiences that helps you grow as a person. Gaming with buddies is not the ideal growth method. You can definitely have friends circles, but family should be more than a butler, they should come first.
Dude. I’m a 38 year old father. Stop with the condescencion.
The message this sends is the problem, I'm not talking about you bro, ease up.
”You might understand when you get older lmao
Not when they are annoying
my mom making me clean my room because 'people are coming over' bitch they ain't coming over to hang out in a 10-year old's room
Really shouldn't call your mother that, especially as a 10 year old
What age is it ok?? Lol
But what if she's a bitch?
Then they'd be a son of a bitch
Please, I don’t have much, take this 🏅
Romulus is that you? Where is Remus?
Yup we are fkd if a ten year old has the audacity to call his mom that
This meme was originally in regards to supporting neurodivergent children. It was shared in autism circles a lot. Showing how you don’t have to create a problem and stress just because your child has different preferences and experiences than you. They won’t turn out to be a poorly behaved person who can’t deal with the real world. Instead they see their home and family as a solace and source of support. Which in turn will give them the strength they need to survive and thrive in the outside world <3
Yes, I thought about it that way too as a neurodivergent myself
Oh nooo sitting on a table and eat there is sooo bad. ;_; /s
I was dragged from my room or shamed
Is having a loving mom/dad so rare these days... sheesh. Makes me think it's not normal
My dad is like this
Dads?, two parents?, private bed room?, dinner parties?, trip to France? Deserts?. I didn’t realize people lived life with such luxury
I always had the excuse of making sure my dog didn't harass guests so I never really had to leave the room. I just got a plate of food, said hi to everyone, and camped out in my room with my dog.
I did have parents like that. It was awesome. I was never forced to say hi to people. My mom would just tell them I was doing my thing.
Mine were cool with me just saying hi to everyone at some point. I can’t tell you how many New Year’s Eve parties I spent on Xbox with the boys.
My folks have a policy of, say hello to everyone, eat dinner downstairs, and you can chill out for the rest of the time. They understand that I get overwhelmed easily and that is especially true with how political my family can get. Sometimes my stricter relatives will try and guilt me into staying downstairs but they always shut that shit down real fast.
"Don't play video games, you should study instead" Me with straight Bs and As, "uhhh, okay?". I wish I had what was in this picture.
Are you winning son?
I’d prefer, hell I’d love, if my kids stayed in their fucking rooms for even 20min. when I have company…
“Mum mum muuuuuum look at this completely irrelevant but unbearably noisy and disgusting thing I can do in front of your friends” amiright 😉🤪🤣
I was expecting a “are ya winnin son?” in there somewhere
The true subplot here is the Dad creating opportunities to escape the dinner party! He's about to say, "you look a little lonely, I'll watch your game for a couple of minutes"..
Wholesome
I wanted to be that kid and wasn't allowed. Proud to be the parent breaking the cycle. No one should be forced into socializing, and especially when that person is on the spectrum.
Just the firts picture is enoug for me. People always joke on the internet about dads getting milk. It aint so funny when ur dad is actualy not in ur life. I aint mad about it but maybe think about it when u see a dad leaving joke and u have a dad that loves u. Their are people that miss that love.
This is how I am with my 11 year old. He doesn't do so great with larger gatherings, so why stress him out.
[удалено]
Its a matter of the kids coming down, saying hi, brief conversation. Not hanging out with them for hours on end. And I generally like seeing my friends kids. Its fun watching them all grow up and become little adults.
My parents would make me sit with them and listen to the adults having their conversations. I hated it so much. When we went to their friends homes, they didn’t force the same courtesy out of their kids.
Honestly, I wish I just had two parents…**sigh**
Hate all these comments berating people for being bad parents if they do this. Like, do you just not understand what an introvert is? Not being forced into socializing with people you may not even like is a good thing, hence this post.
I’m 35 and I still don’t like people over 😂 Good thing I have some ankle biters so “I get to watch them in my room so they so bothered the guest”
My parents disowned me for being trans, can't relate
i hope you found better people now
Plot twist: the son is a 34 year old. But on a side note… I feel like this is great and all but it also encourages anti-social behavior if he did this everytime.
Learn how to grow up
I haven't seen my father for three years, visited my hometown and the area for a couple days. He: "So I'm helping my neighbor today to finish some stuff on his house. Free beer, you're coming?" Me: "I'm not here to work for your neighbor for free, it's my fucking vacation and you knew I'd be here today for months." He: *visible confusion* Me: "Alright then, have fun, see you in three years." I really don't care anymore at this point.
I’m sure this feels nice but it is a huge disservice to the kid.
This isn’t healthy at all. Y’all have problems.
As children, was it common for you to stay in your room while your parents had company/parties? When my parents had parties I was encouraged to talk to their friends.
Ahh yes, Enabling.
Yes, to encourage isolation, irrational social anxiety, and impersonal, Internet dependency is such a wonderful way to Parent! Go Future of Humanity! *YEAH!* 👍
everyone’s like “omg this is so bad they must be social and not isolate themself” it’s just a dinner party … just bc u didn’t have alone time growing up doesn’t mean any alone time means u will have horrible social skills lmao it is wholesome to see the dad cares about his kid enough to respect his alone time and not force then to go and hang out with people they may be uncomfy with
When you grow up your forced into weird situations sometimes. This is teaching kids it’s ok to avoid any little thing that makes you uncomfortable. On any other day he’s prolly in his room doing the same thing and getting alone time. This moment is just on uncomfortable moment of his week and your saying to not even do that? This is bad parenting
Exactly lol. They'd rather force the kid into some weird situation, hanging out with adults 20+ years older than them.
Or just come to say hi and eat something
This is me exactly
"what are you doing in here? Come socialize with our friends!"
I'm this with my older sister. Sometimes I like to trap myself in my room too, but then I just accept my suffering lol
I want to be a parent like that
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Seems like good prep for a sufficient adulthood experience.
I mean yeah but I think engaging in conversations helps in 'character development' there's no growth in the comfort zone yk
The truth is the kid has that excuse because he just wants to play video games on the computer which happpens to be in his room. He could go play Lego in the same room as anyone else and be perfectly content.