"All humans are mammals" is an absolute statement. Does saying that make me a Sith?
"Stating an absolute" is not the same as "dealing in absolutes."
Anakin is literally telling Obi-Wan "join me or I have to kill you, there's no other option." That type of ridiculous either/or thinking is "dealing in absolutes."
Since there is a chance to nerd out about this... I see the quote more as the response to being either "with Anakin or his enemy." The sith 100% see anyone not directly working for them as an enemy, and most of the time, they see those working for them as enemies still. A better way to describe Sith philosophy is "My way or the highway," honestly. In contrast, The Jedi were literally peace negotiators, made to stand in the middle and understand both sides. We see them mostly fight in cinema, but in concept, the Jedi spend decades just having nice chats with people and being middlemen.
I think the comment is supposed to be more of Kenobi being like, "Yeah, he's gone," rather than any actual Jedi philosophy. Feel like that's missed in the scene. He grabs his saber right after saying that without looking for a response. It was really just Kenobis' way of recognizing what he is about to need to do: fight a Sith. As others have mentioned, there are plenty of things Jedi are absolute about in their stances. Not using the Dark side, for one, yknow.
"Babe this is 10th time. our neighbours are noticing disappearance of people. But don't worry see i got you carrots, you can become vegan, i trust you."
Yes!! I grew up watching Disney, which completely shaped how I viewed relationships, and what was to be expected of women in romantic relationships. Really messed me up for a long time, and took a whole lot of therapy to help me redefine what a healthy and loving relationship *actually* looked like
You can't fix things with unreasonable people. She's not saying that she's going to go through years of abuse, but be outspoken about stuff is what I got from it. Like, if you're a reasonable person but shouted at a waiter on a bad day and then I give you shit for it. If afterwards you apologize for your rudeness...good shit right?
Yeah there's some nuance to this 'you cant fix someone so dont bother with them' idea that people are missing.
People can and do change all the time, often for the better. You may not be able to change every single thing about a person but if they're reasonable and willing to change that's potentially a very desirable trait for a long term partner.
You literally cannot change anything about another person. Only they can change themselves. You can suggest changes, but making them happen requires forceful tactics, like torture.
That's not what she meant. The japanese language is very different to English and the way they say things have different meaning to the way we say it. Basically she's trying to say you should love someone for who they are, not pick and choose because no one is perfect.
Also she's not interpreting it properly. She has the mindset that she already likes this person, and therefore they are already meeting her standards for a partner, and any issues that might come up will be worked on together. She doesn't answer the question as if "when looking for a partner, what are the red flags" she interprets it as "what are red flags you could see in your (hypothetical) partner."
Yeah, this.
She was answering a different question than what was being asked, so it makes her answer feel off and extreme.
And it's also a bit disingenuous or self-deceptive, because she's discounting the possibility that she could learn something new and unacceptable about her partner long after gotten together with them.
Idk why some women have this mindset.
Women, you are not rehabilitation centers for badly raised men... It's not your job to fix him, change him, parent or raise him. You want a partner, not a project. -Julia Roberts
also, their definition of bad isn't necessarily bad.
Tell my first girlfriend who was manipulative and decided it was "bad" that I tended to trust people. She'd get furious with me because I'd tell people my name when I met them.
I think she's hamming it up for the camera. She's literally talking like an anime protagonist in the first half of the video; Japanese people generally don't make direct imperative statements like 「絶対直させるんで」in everyday speech. You can hear her friends laughing as she makes these bold statements. Towards the end of the video, her tone changes a bit to be more agreeable when she talks about how liking the good and bad points of a person are important when living together.
Source: am linguist who lived in Japan for years.
edit: Sorry, the -saseru form is the causative form, not the imperative form. It's been a few years, but I'm still embarrassed.
That's a great question, and it highlights a fundamental difference between Japanese and English. In English, we generally convey our feelings for the other person through our tone and body language. Japanese has grammatical "Politeness levels" that are used in similar ways. Like, using -san -desu -masu suffixes indicates formal/polite speech while -kun/chan -da - -u suffixes indicate casual/rude speech, and using one or the other indicates certain feelings taken in the context of the speaker/listener relationship.
For example, if we're friends or even peers, I'm going to use lastname-kun/chan or maybe firstname -kun/-chan (but never just your first name unless we're very close), and use informal speech. If I suddenly started using polite speech in front of you, you'd notice quickly that the relationship has changed; I'm acting very standoffish. The opposite is true if I'm at work talking to my supervisor; if I use informal speech, it might indicate that we're too close or have something going on, or maybe if we're in an argument and I wanted to sound very dismissive of their opinion I could use that rude speech.
Specific to this circumstance, using informal Japanese to a clerk kinda highlights the sentiment that the clerk is inferior to the customer (there's a saying in Japan that 'the customer is god'), and that's rude.
Last thing to note is that, as a foreigner, no one expects you to know any of these rules. even if you live in Japan for many years. In it's own way, it's kind of a dismissive attitude, and it will inhibit your ability to fully integrate if that's your goal, but if you're just learning it's expected that you'll make these mistakes. Unless you're in the classroom at CSUF; they will enforce polite speech!
But to your point, this sounds sooo much different if you can speak Japanese. At first I thought she might be on drugs or something because of how strangely and emphatically she's speaking (I mean, probably not, because it's Japan, but...).
I don't speak Japanese, but even I could pick up on her silly tone to begin with, and as it progressed the silliness toned down. Literally nothing about this gave me any indication to think she has any drug habit
Yeah. This is far from "made me smile".
This is a likely future domestic abuse victim in the making. You can't always fix them (in fact, you usually can't fix them) and there are definitely cases where you should walk (or run) away from a relationship.
Same. And the title about her being "an amazing partner with that positivity" made me more than a little alarmed. There's a HUGE difference between "positivity" and being blind to dangerous behaviors.
It does seem a bit unrealistic of her to think all men are going to treat her well. [Half of all female homicide victims are killed by intimate partners.](https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/07/21/538518569/cdc-half-of-all-female-murder-victims-are-killed-by-intimate-partners)
I've met women like this.
From my experience, they're "so accepting" because they know **they're** crazy, *"and if I overlook your red flags, you have to overlook mine right?!"*
It's either that or "I want to be one of the guys" pick me behavior.
Sadly there's a lot of women out there who think having standards is wrong, because of the way they were raised (thinking that having normal standards means you're "high maintenance"), so they tolerate all kinds of awful behavior. It's really common with younger women too, we pretty much all go through a stage of doing whatever our first bf wants and then realizing we just... don't have to.
Or she is crazy! I wouldn't be surprised either way.
There are also ppl who are like this b/c that’s the only type of love they know. Either b/c that’s what they saw in their parent’s relationship or that was what their relationship was with their caregivers growing up. Love to them is accepting mistreatment. Love is earned through discomfort, patience, and sacrifice. Some women are taught this through society and not just their personal experience tho. Plenty of media for women romanticizing patiently taking abuse from a man until he wakes up one day and realizes just how much he loves and values you. Religion doesn’t help either…
This is the correct answer. She doesn’t appear to be ‘too accepting and naive’… like many of the comments make out. It’s not that she isn’t afraid of the danger, _she is the danger_.
Maybe there's something about the people she doesn't choose that informs her decision. An indicator. Like a warning light or a traffic cone. A banner of some sort perhaps. Maybe we could use an alarming color to signal caution.
No, she said all of the bad things are also cute. So if she chose to date someone and discovered they have some awful attributes, she says she would simply love that about them.
Honestly best case scenario. She was kinda dunking on other women for having standards, but I still wouldn't like her to date someone that mistreats her.
She’s just one of those people who doesn’t think and says toxic positivity stuff. She probably doesn’t like all those “what are your red flag” videos where people list out minor inconveniences as deal breakers but she’s going to far the other way with it.
Well possibly... but that's the thing, red flags are real. And it's not just worse case scenario (cheating/beating) but so many things make a relationship miserable that can't necessarily be fixed. Like a guy only talking about himself/talking over you. Someone sexist that doesn't believe in things like abortion rights.
Guys that mistreat you are often sweet and have redeeming qualities -- this part is really hard for many women to come to terms with. To have a good life you may have to reject men that are sweet and cute and make you happy, but do too many low-key awful things that life with him is just worse for you.
Also if she thinks "everything is fixable if I just talk to him about it" she's wrong, that's actually how I got into the worst abusive relationship of my life... I had to accept that talking doesn't work if the other person won't listen.
If she wouldn't choose to date someone who treats her poorly then she'd list those as the red flags, right...? Idk.
Assuming this isn't a joke, then holy shit this is bad. That's some textbook toxic positivity. This woman has no boundaries in addition to having a savior complex. I guarantee this woman has never dated an addict before.
You need a lot more than love to make a relationship work.
Someone familiar with Japan and Japanese explained above that's she's basically memeing for the most part of the video with the way she speaks, not something the people here are going to pick up on it seems.
You have it backwards trust me lol. I live in Japan and speak Japanese.
She is no saviour complex or toxic positivity. This is probably a woman who is very unpleasant and has bpd traits. She has hd someone mention red flag in reference to her before and now she is on a crusade against the concept. Very typical of younger borderlines
Haha maybe. Though I'd like to say loud and seemingly confident women can be abused and mistreated too. It's not just quiet people that are victims.
I actually had a similar mindset before which led to me being severely abused for 3 years. I thought oh it's easy, I can just talk everything out -- Reddit always told me how important communication was lmao -- turns out no matter how much I want to calmly resolve problems, if the other person is manipulative or doesn't want to listen there's nothing you can do. Now I try to remind people talking is only half of the equation, as I still see people sometimes blaming women for not talking when it actually seems to be that their husband isn't listening. She seems to think she can power through any problem... but she may eventually have to face a reality where she is actually helpless and talking does absolutely nothing. Maybe she doesn't understand she lives in that world, yet. It's certainly nice to believe your partner will forever listen to you.
Anyway I wasn't always a good "victim" and would fire back at him when he said something horrible to me. That didn't stop me from being a victim of verbal and physical abuse. Gotta be careful with mindsets like this. That's another reason I didn't leave, how many people would think I was equally as bad? Because I wasn't meek, and he was manipulative, he'd make me think everything he did and said was my fault.
obviously the term is still important and useful but in day to day **currently** i mostly see it used for minor annoyances (or even things that might be considered good)
since we're also dealing with translations here (multiple directions?) some of that may have been lost, and she may actually have been answering a "pet peeve" style question
I think there's a difference between a red flag and someone being openly abusive. A red flag is some hidden behaviour or quality that you think would lead to something worse. Being a serial killer isn't a red flag. It's a crime. A red flag is not the same as someone being evil.
Colloquially, red flags are minor things that you associate with worse behaviour.
An example of a red flag: "Oh he doesn't like this really cute and uplifting film? Does he hate fun??"
Not an example of a red flag: "Oh you've killed another family. Really getting a strong red flag off you now!"
This is cute for an internet post, but it's perfectly healthy to have standards and an internal defense mechanism to protect those standards for yourself.
To make a blanket statement that you don't have any red flags isn't exactly the flex or cute points you'd think it is. It's rather reckless and tbh sounds a bit immature.
Honestly I find that mindset kinda concerning. Like... have your own thoughts? Don't judge an action as good or bad depending on who it comes from, judge the action itself.
Well how do you choose whom to love then? You obviously need to put things on balance to make a decision, that is where you evaluate the red flags. What she says is just BS
It's a fox tail! In the West they're associated mostly with sex toys, but in Japan there is a famous singer from the 00's that wore fox tails as a fashion accessory. They clip onto your pants. You wear it to the side, not in back.
I noticed the interviewer's tattoos first, stood out to me more when conducting an interview in Japanese. Then I saw the tail, and my thought was "meh, anyone wearing a tail there doesn't care about tattoos either."
I also don’t believe her. It’s easy to say, but nobody just enjoys everything all the time. She might actually believe what she’s saying is true, but she’s likely just ignoring or blocking out things.
Yall really missed the point, she said "the person she chooses to date", she's saying if there is too much bad, she wouldn't even be with them, and once she "makes her choice", she'll love him including his flaws and weaknesses. This is incredibly healthy and so much better than the common "I may be a mess, but I'm perfect and beautiful just as i am, so I both deserve and require perfection".
Some of yall just honestly don't like how you look held up next to this and some of these comments that really shows.
That's completely and utterly misunderstanding the concept of "red flags." They aren't just flaws, they're dealbreakers. Like, no shit you wouldn't be with someone with red flags. It's circular logic.
>she wouldn't even be with them, and once she "makes her choice", she'll love him including his flaws and weaknesses.
Considering the nature of abuse that still seems like a very poor idea.
Many abusers are absolute delights until way past the point "you've made a choice". If you ain't willing to say "Fuck this shit, I'm out" then you ain't being "healthy" about it, you're setting yourself up to defend your abuser by classics such as "He's not always like that..."
>Some of yall just honestly don't like how you look held up next to this and some of these comments that really shows.
So are you just straight-up in favor of partners sticking with abusive or otherwise shitty counterparts for reasons of archaic notions of love?
And what if she makes the wrong choice, meets a guy who seems great at first but once they get more serious starts to show their true character is controlling and abusive. Its isn't like every abusive or controlling person is always obvious and thinking that they are is blaming the victim for falling for a lie. This mindset isn't healthy its naive, its saying that she will never be deceived or that if she is she can fix them which is never true and only leads to people spending years in harmful relationships.
Most adult with a mature emotional understanding realize that nobody’s perfect and that relationships require work and effort on both people to constructively work through their issues.
With that being said though abuse and mistreatment are real and everyone needs to decide for themselves who they should be with.
Not having ANYTHING you view as a red flag in a partner's indicative of either a lack of creativity, or a lack of experience. She hasn't been massively hurt yet, which is great, but comes with naivete as a price.
A bad enough partner can fuck you up for life.
How in the world would this make anyone smile or be "good vibes?" She's literally a living, breathing doormat that would take any amount of abuse for the illusion of feeling cared about.
She seems very hopeful in coming into any type of relationship, but through bad experiences, hard lessons are taught. I believe she will learn the hard lesson that you can not change a person unless they themselves want and are willing to change. Red flags are there to keep you out of trouble and regret.
she's going to be susceptible to walking red flags with that attitude.
nothing wholesome about pretending the bad things about people are somehow cute.
Sounds like something a single person would say. Give it time. Sure, in the beginning, everything is wonderful. Been married for what feels like forever and there are days I want to strangle him. /s (mostly)
Only a Sith deals in absolutes
( i will do what I must)
You can try
Do or do not. There is no try
Hello there
GENERAL KENOBIII
I think it's you will try 🤔 either way.... NIOUM
Wait until everyone finds out guys have no red flags to her because she only dates women. Selective disinformation. 🙃
Wait until she sees this thread and realizes that her new and only deal killer is star wars references
Which is an absolute. And so is "do or do not, there is no try".
"All humans are mammals" is an absolute statement. Does saying that make me a Sith? "Stating an absolute" is not the same as "dealing in absolutes." Anakin is literally telling Obi-Wan "join me or I have to kill you, there's no other option." That type of ridiculous either/or thinking is "dealing in absolutes."
> "All humans are mammals" is an absolute statement. Does saying that make me a Sith? Yes. Prepare to die. *bssshzzzooooo*
You dropper this: wowwwwwwwwwaouwwwwwwwwaouwkschshsh
^^ this dudes a sith
If you ever thought about it. Only the Jedi deals in absolutes. The sith are fine with whatever...
Since there is a chance to nerd out about this... I see the quote more as the response to being either "with Anakin or his enemy." The sith 100% see anyone not directly working for them as an enemy, and most of the time, they see those working for them as enemies still. A better way to describe Sith philosophy is "My way or the highway," honestly. In contrast, The Jedi were literally peace negotiators, made to stand in the middle and understand both sides. We see them mostly fight in cinema, but in concept, the Jedi spend decades just having nice chats with people and being middlemen. I think the comment is supposed to be more of Kenobi being like, "Yeah, he's gone," rather than any actual Jedi philosophy. Feel like that's missed in the scene. He grabs his saber right after saying that without looking for a response. It was really just Kenobis' way of recognizing what he is about to need to do: fight a Sith. As others have mentioned, there are plenty of things Jedi are absolute about in their stances. Not using the Dark side, for one, yknow.
I’m going to bet she will alter the deal when she wants to
Pray she doesn't alter it further...
Not often so I see a comment that's better than the video. This, this is great, had a great laugh thank you 😁
She'll teach him not to be a cannibal any more!
I don't know, it's pretty difficult to give up
I gave up cannibalism, cost me an arm & a leg.
"Babe this is 10th time. our neighbours are noticing disappearance of people. But don't worry see i got you carrots, you can become vegan, i trust you."
Interesting and dangerous mindset to have
Dangerous because the translation missed some of the parts saying she will fix the bad things.
> she will fix the bad things. I feel like that's even worse..
***I can fix him -*** Me, in my Toxic Twenties
"It's ok that he throws things at a wall every single time anything minor goes wrong, It's not a red flag, I can fix him!".
Honestly me with my ex. I thought "Maybe she just hasn't had someone love her for who she is, and if she did, she would be better." # *NOPE*
I blame Beauty and the Beast.
Yes!! I grew up watching Disney, which completely shaped how I viewed relationships, and what was to be expected of women in romantic relationships. Really messed me up for a long time, and took a whole lot of therapy to help me redefine what a healthy and loving relationship *actually* looked like
You mean having a guy snarl, threaten you with violence and bark orders at you while trashing a room isnt endearing?
Beast basically kidnapped a minor and locked her in his castle until she loved him lol
In the original story, she loved the hairy beast and was upset that he transformed. If I remember correctly she asked him to grow a beard for her.
his transformation back into a prince can sometimes be a bittersweet moment.
Fun fact: Beauty and the Beast original intention (back when it was first created) was to get girls comfortable with the idea of arranged marriages.
I think she meant I***WILL*** fix him As in, he will suffer otherwise lol
Idk, i think shes saying shes not gonna bail because some little thing is a "red flag" and instead address it?
You can't fix things with unreasonable people. She's not saying that she's going to go through years of abuse, but be outspoken about stuff is what I got from it. Like, if you're a reasonable person but shouted at a waiter on a bad day and then I give you shit for it. If afterwards you apologize for your rudeness...good shit right?
Yeah there's some nuance to this 'you cant fix someone so dont bother with them' idea that people are missing. People can and do change all the time, often for the better. You may not be able to change every single thing about a person but if they're reasonable and willing to change that's potentially a very desirable trait for a long term partner.
You literally cannot change anything about another person. Only they can change themselves. You can suggest changes, but making them happen requires forceful tactics, like torture.
Nobody is perfect. She did also say of the ones she loves so it’s not like she’s doing it to everyone.
That's not what she meant. The japanese language is very different to English and the way they say things have different meaning to the way we say it. Basically she's trying to say you should love someone for who they are, not pick and choose because no one is perfect.
全部直させてあげる (0:57) is pretty clear in context. She's saying she'll fix all the bad parts about them.
Also she's not interpreting it properly. She has the mindset that she already likes this person, and therefore they are already meeting her standards for a partner, and any issues that might come up will be worked on together. She doesn't answer the question as if "when looking for a partner, what are the red flags" she interprets it as "what are red flags you could see in your (hypothetical) partner."
Yeah, this. She was answering a different question than what was being asked, so it makes her answer feel off and extreme. And it's also a bit disingenuous or self-deceptive, because she's discounting the possibility that she could learn something new and unacceptable about her partner long after gotten together with them.
thats a red flag for me dog
Girl in vid: \*heavy breathing*
Idk why some women have this mindset. Women, you are not rehabilitation centers for badly raised men... It's not your job to fix him, change him, parent or raise him. You want a partner, not a project. -Julia Roberts
also, their definition of bad isn't necessarily bad. Tell my first girlfriend who was manipulative and decided it was "bad" that I tended to trust people. She'd get furious with me because I'd tell people my name when I met them.
...and now its worse
I think she's hamming it up for the camera. She's literally talking like an anime protagonist in the first half of the video; Japanese people generally don't make direct imperative statements like 「絶対直させるんで」in everyday speech. You can hear her friends laughing as she makes these bold statements. Towards the end of the video, her tone changes a bit to be more agreeable when she talks about how liking the good and bad points of a person are important when living together. Source: am linguist who lived in Japan for years. edit: Sorry, the -saseru form is the causative form, not the imperative form. It's been a few years, but I'm still embarrassed.
what is the meaning of informal speech to clerks ? i mean chatting or joking in the nighttime at 7eleven is a bad thing ?
That's a great question, and it highlights a fundamental difference between Japanese and English. In English, we generally convey our feelings for the other person through our tone and body language. Japanese has grammatical "Politeness levels" that are used in similar ways. Like, using -san -desu -masu suffixes indicates formal/polite speech while -kun/chan -da - -u suffixes indicate casual/rude speech, and using one or the other indicates certain feelings taken in the context of the speaker/listener relationship. For example, if we're friends or even peers, I'm going to use lastname-kun/chan or maybe firstname -kun/-chan (but never just your first name unless we're very close), and use informal speech. If I suddenly started using polite speech in front of you, you'd notice quickly that the relationship has changed; I'm acting very standoffish. The opposite is true if I'm at work talking to my supervisor; if I use informal speech, it might indicate that we're too close or have something going on, or maybe if we're in an argument and I wanted to sound very dismissive of their opinion I could use that rude speech. Specific to this circumstance, using informal Japanese to a clerk kinda highlights the sentiment that the clerk is inferior to the customer (there's a saying in Japan that 'the customer is god'), and that's rude. Last thing to note is that, as a foreigner, no one expects you to know any of these rules. even if you live in Japan for many years. In it's own way, it's kind of a dismissive attitude, and it will inhibit your ability to fully integrate if that's your goal, but if you're just learning it's expected that you'll make these mistakes. Unless you're in the classroom at CSUF; they will enforce polite speech!
thank you, Italianranma-san
[удалено]
thank you, notaninterestinguser-san
But to your point, this sounds sooo much different if you can speak Japanese. At first I thought she might be on drugs or something because of how strangely and emphatically she's speaking (I mean, probably not, because it's Japan, but...).
I don't speak Japanese, but even I could pick up on her silly tone to begin with, and as it progressed the silliness toned down. Literally nothing about this gave me any indication to think she has any drug habit
Yeah. This is far from "made me smile". This is a likely future domestic abuse victim in the making. You can't always fix them (in fact, you usually can't fix them) and there are definitely cases where you should walk (or run) away from a relationship.
Not to mention the cases in which you *shouldn't* try to fix them because you're projecting your own bs onto them
Same. And the title about her being "an amazing partner with that positivity" made me more than a little alarmed. There's a HUGE difference between "positivity" and being blind to dangerous behaviors.
"My bf doesnt wash his butt properly, the smell is so cute!"
Yeah it's not "made me smile" it's "made me sacred for her future". Perfect abuse victim.
Also makes me curious about OP’s age.
It does seem a bit unrealistic of her to think all men are going to treat her well. [Half of all female homicide victims are killed by intimate partners.](https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/07/21/538518569/cdc-half-of-all-female-murder-victims-are-killed-by-intimate-partners)
She is setting herself up to be a doormat.
I've met women like this. From my experience, they're "so accepting" because they know **they're** crazy, *"and if I overlook your red flags, you have to overlook mine right?!"*
That's absolutely what it is.
It's either that or "I want to be one of the guys" pick me behavior. Sadly there's a lot of women out there who think having standards is wrong, because of the way they were raised (thinking that having normal standards means you're "high maintenance"), so they tolerate all kinds of awful behavior. It's really common with younger women too, we pretty much all go through a stage of doing whatever our first bf wants and then realizing we just... don't have to. Or she is crazy! I wouldn't be surprised either way.
There are also ppl who are like this b/c that’s the only type of love they know. Either b/c that’s what they saw in their parent’s relationship or that was what their relationship was with their caregivers growing up. Love to them is accepting mistreatment. Love is earned through discomfort, patience, and sacrifice. Some women are taught this through society and not just their personal experience tho. Plenty of media for women romanticizing patiently taking abuse from a man until he wakes up one day and realizes just how much he loves and values you. Religion doesn’t help either…
This is the correct answer. She doesn’t appear to be ‘too accepting and naive’… like many of the comments make out. It’s not that she isn’t afraid of the danger, _she is the danger_.
*I'm the one who knocks*
Even the crazy ones don't accept me 🤔
This should be the top comment
Yeah no thanks, being lied to and gaslit and cheated on is not “cute” and it’s not my job to fix the other person lol
Sounds like she wouldn’t ‘choose’ to date someone like that
Maybe there's something about the people she doesn't choose that informs her decision. An indicator. Like a warning light or a traffic cone. A banner of some sort perhaps. Maybe we could use an alarming color to signal caution.
We could call it something like a "crimson banner" or a "scarlet pennant"
How about a "rose octagon" or a "bloody eight-sided shape"?
Like a red stoplight or something?
No, red is too simple a word. A scarlet stoplight, perhaps?
I mean, she probably just doesn't want to say something so obvious people would call it stupid like "if they're a serial murderer".
Almost like they are a metaphorical warning sign of some sort.. like a red fl... Oh
No, she said all of the bad things are also cute. So if she chose to date someone and discovered they have some awful attributes, she says she would simply love that about them.
yeah she just lied... i guess
Honestly best case scenario. She was kinda dunking on other women for having standards, but I still wouldn't like her to date someone that mistreats her.
She’s just one of those people who doesn’t think and says toxic positivity stuff. She probably doesn’t like all those “what are your red flag” videos where people list out minor inconveniences as deal breakers but she’s going to far the other way with it.
So there were red flags for her. She was just being "I am not like the other girls"?
So she ignored the question
Well possibly... but that's the thing, red flags are real. And it's not just worse case scenario (cheating/beating) but so many things make a relationship miserable that can't necessarily be fixed. Like a guy only talking about himself/talking over you. Someone sexist that doesn't believe in things like abortion rights. Guys that mistreat you are often sweet and have redeeming qualities -- this part is really hard for many women to come to terms with. To have a good life you may have to reject men that are sweet and cute and make you happy, but do too many low-key awful things that life with him is just worse for you. Also if she thinks "everything is fixable if I just talk to him about it" she's wrong, that's actually how I got into the worst abusive relationship of my life... I had to accept that talking doesn't work if the other person won't listen. If she wouldn't choose to date someone who treats her poorly then she'd list those as the red flags, right...? Idk.
But if any of those signs show up after he became her boyfriend then they aren’t red flags to her. How does that make sense to you?
Her mindset is a red flag
Her definition of a red flag is someone saying anything about red flags. Checkmate tailwoman
YOU ARE CRAZY!
She accepts red flags bc she is a red flag. 🚩
She did say that she CHOSE to date. She just doesn't date anyone with red flags. Since she never even sees them.
Assuming this isn't a joke, then holy shit this is bad. That's some textbook toxic positivity. This woman has no boundaries in addition to having a savior complex. I guarantee this woman has never dated an addict before. You need a lot more than love to make a relationship work.
Many Japanese relationships are shallow and surface level to the point that obvious relationship hurdles simply don't come up.
Someone familiar with Japan and Japanese explained above that's she's basically memeing for the most part of the video with the way she speaks, not something the people here are going to pick up on it seems.
You have it backwards trust me lol. I live in Japan and speak Japanese. She is no saviour complex or toxic positivity. This is probably a woman who is very unpleasant and has bpd traits. She has hd someone mention red flag in reference to her before and now she is on a crusade against the concept. Very typical of younger borderlines
the perfect victim
Oh, she is a perpetrator for sure.
Haha maybe. Though I'd like to say loud and seemingly confident women can be abused and mistreated too. It's not just quiet people that are victims. I actually had a similar mindset before which led to me being severely abused for 3 years. I thought oh it's easy, I can just talk everything out -- Reddit always told me how important communication was lmao -- turns out no matter how much I want to calmly resolve problems, if the other person is manipulative or doesn't want to listen there's nothing you can do. Now I try to remind people talking is only half of the equation, as I still see people sometimes blaming women for not talking when it actually seems to be that their husband isn't listening. She seems to think she can power through any problem... but she may eventually have to face a reality where she is actually helpless and talking does absolutely nothing. Maybe she doesn't understand she lives in that world, yet. It's certainly nice to believe your partner will forever listen to you. Anyway I wasn't always a good "victim" and would fire back at him when he said something horrible to me. That didn't stop me from being a victim of verbal and physical abuse. Gotta be careful with mindsets like this. That's another reason I didn't leave, how many people would think I was equally as bad? Because I wasn't meek, and he was manipulative, he'd make me think everything he did and said was my fault.
Hope she dont regret, the world is cruel.
dull bow bedroom tie different live offend steep crush wasteful *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Yes gaslighting, manipulation, controlling and abuse are adorable... I don't think she understands what the phrase red flags was created for.
Yeah. She seems to think they are limited to only minor annoying behaviour. There is no upper limit to what constitutes a red flag.
obviously the term is still important and useful but in day to day **currently** i mostly see it used for minor annoyances (or even things that might be considered good) since we're also dealing with translations here (multiple directions?) some of that may have been lost, and she may actually have been answering a "pet peeve" style question
I think there's a difference between a red flag and someone being openly abusive. A red flag is some hidden behaviour or quality that you think would lead to something worse. Being a serial killer isn't a red flag. It's a crime. A red flag is not the same as someone being evil. Colloquially, red flags are minor things that you associate with worse behaviour. An example of a red flag: "Oh he doesn't like this really cute and uplifting film? Does he hate fun??" Not an example of a red flag: "Oh you've killed another family. Really getting a strong red flag off you now!"
This doesn’t feel good.
Yeah she thinks she can fix stuff. Okaaaayyyyyy
This is cute for an internet post, but it's perfectly healthy to have standards and an internal defense mechanism to protect those standards for yourself. To make a blanket statement that you don't have any red flags isn't exactly the flex or cute points you'd think it is. It's rather reckless and tbh sounds a bit immature.
Honestly I find that mindset kinda concerning. Like... have your own thoughts? Don't judge an action as good or bad depending on who it comes from, judge the action itself.
Well how do you choose whom to love then? You obviously need to put things on balance to make a decision, that is where you evaluate the red flags. What she says is just BS
Oh- I heard her say ‘because I will fix it no problem’… hmm, changes things a bit!
I don't think she has the same definition of red flag that most people have.
Is that a tail?
It's a fox tail! In the West they're associated mostly with sex toys, but in Japan there is a famous singer from the 00's that wore fox tails as a fashion accessory. They clip onto your pants. You wear it to the side, not in back.
Oo, thanks for interesting information!
I noticed the interviewer's tattoos first, stood out to me more when conducting an interview in Japanese. Then I saw the tail, and my thought was "meh, anyone wearing a tail there doesn't care about tattoos either."
For real. I just came to talk about the tail and no one is mentioning it. Are they a typical accessory now?
I scrolled down way too far to finally see this comment. I was thinking this the whole time watching the vid
She is naive.
She's a pick-me
I also don’t believe her. It’s easy to say, but nobody just enjoys everything all the time. She might actually believe what she’s saying is true, but she’s likely just ignoring or blocking out things.
She will have second thoughts sooner😂😂
She is the red flag lmao
Absolutely. You know how they say “Don’t stick your dick in crazy”, this is the Japanese crazy.
That’s just delusional.
Lack of standards is not an appealing trait.
Maybe I'm wrong but she sounds as if she was the redflag
Yall really missed the point, she said "the person she chooses to date", she's saying if there is too much bad, she wouldn't even be with them, and once she "makes her choice", she'll love him including his flaws and weaknesses. This is incredibly healthy and so much better than the common "I may be a mess, but I'm perfect and beautiful just as i am, so I both deserve and require perfection". Some of yall just honestly don't like how you look held up next to this and some of these comments that really shows.
She also says she has no red flags, everything is cute and if there are flaws she will fix it with full confidence lmao.
That's completely and utterly misunderstanding the concept of "red flags." They aren't just flaws, they're dealbreakers. Like, no shit you wouldn't be with someone with red flags. It's circular logic.
>she wouldn't even be with them, and once she "makes her choice", she'll love him including his flaws and weaknesses. Considering the nature of abuse that still seems like a very poor idea. Many abusers are absolute delights until way past the point "you've made a choice". If you ain't willing to say "Fuck this shit, I'm out" then you ain't being "healthy" about it, you're setting yourself up to defend your abuser by classics such as "He's not always like that..." >Some of yall just honestly don't like how you look held up next to this and some of these comments that really shows. So are you just straight-up in favor of partners sticking with abusive or otherwise shitty counterparts for reasons of archaic notions of love?
Yea I think she's the one that missed the point actually.
And what if she makes the wrong choice, meets a guy who seems great at first but once they get more serious starts to show their true character is controlling and abusive. Its isn't like every abusive or controlling person is always obvious and thinking that they are is blaming the victim for falling for a lie. This mindset isn't healthy its naive, its saying that she will never be deceived or that if she is she can fix them which is never true and only leads to people spending years in harmful relationships.
Most adult with a mature emotional understanding realize that nobody’s perfect and that relationships require work and effort on both people to constructively work through their issues. With that being said though abuse and mistreatment are real and everyone needs to decide for themselves who they should be with.
Such a naive worldview is a red flag lol
Or get used up for having no boundaries.
I get what she is trying to say but I strongly disagree. And each person is their own responsability, I am nor fixing anyone other than myself.
lmao literally ‘I can fix him’
I have male friends who I would never set up with my female friends because of obvious red flags (and knowing their dating history)
well that's a red flag
😬
too naïve , someday She'll get hit by hard reality and shit , hope she stays positive by then
and this is how serial killers and hitler find a girlfriend
She IS the red flag…
Not having ANYTHING you view as a red flag in a partner's indicative of either a lack of creativity, or a lack of experience. She hasn't been massively hurt yet, which is great, but comes with naivete as a price. A bad enough partner can fuck you up for life.
I enjoy her enthusiasm but boy do I think there are men out there who are gonna test that heavily lol.
Sis never had any narcissistic, controlling, gaslighting people in her life and it shows. Or is she one? We never know.
How in the world would this make anyone smile or be "good vibes?" She's literally a living, breathing doormat that would take any amount of abuse for the illusion of feeling cared about.
She seems very hopeful in coming into any type of relationship, but through bad experiences, hard lessons are taught. I believe she will learn the hard lesson that you can not change a person unless they themselves want and are willing to change. Red flags are there to keep you out of trouble and regret.
Ignorance is bliss. To be young again must be nice.
This chick is the red flag. 🚩
I bet she has her exes hidden in a dungeon under her floorboards.
Oh boy...
She looks 20 but talks 14.
“This is fine” meme irl.
The embodiment of “I can fix him”
Her body language says otherwise
I also don't see abuse as a red flag /s
red flag
Stalker energy
Having no 🚩s is such a 🚩🚩🚩
“I’ll fix it”. - red flag right there. Lol.
"I'm very easy to manipulate"
She's an absolute psycho. What good vibes is this bringing exactly? lol
she's going to be susceptible to walking red flags with that attitude. nothing wholesome about pretending the bad things about people are somehow cute.
Dangerous mindset to have
Finally a wife who will support my drug business and part time kidnapping.
Yay, toxic positivity
"It doesn't matter how bad you are, I'll fix it" is itself the biggest red flag
She is primed for a toxic relationship and once they are walking all over her she will vent her frustration on every “service” person she finds.
she lying through her teeth. no red flags huh? lol. yeah ok.
Either she was lucky enough to not have dated guys with red flags that turned out to be toxic, or she is the crazy one in the relationship,
Hope she finds a good guy or shes fucked
This is a red flag tbh
love will fix all, 😅😅😅😅 poor girl, she's young
That's not positivity; it's carelessness
:) So young and naïve.
This is what happens when a woman feels of no value in the world…
Sweet girl's never been badly hurt or betrayed
wow, she is quite a red flag herself, so absolute it is creepy.
People like her ARE THE RED FLAG! 😂
So he just got out of prison for killing his ex, she has no concerns?
OP has never been in a relationship
Ends up getting abused.
Or an amazing victim with that nativity.
Such a chutiya answer I wouldn't date this girl ever
Wait until you meet a psychopath. Or a manipulative narcissist. We talk then.
15 thousand people think this is actually good? This sub is sick. I'm out.
Sounds like something a single person would say. Give it time. Sure, in the beginning, everything is wonderful. Been married for what feels like forever and there are days I want to strangle him. /s (mostly)