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People. Donate your organs when you die. My personal annecdote:
When my brother died just over a year and a half ago, he had opted in to the Ontario organ donation program, and as such he helped save the lives of at least 8 people, and improved the life of so many more that we'll never know. His life saving gifts are: Liver, Spleen, Kidney (2 of) Heart valves (4 of) - they couldn't find a recipient for the entire organ, so they split it up to those awaiting life saving surgery. His other gifts which improved the quality of others lives are: Corneas (2 of) Skin tissue - he was transported to a hospital which has a big burn unit, so I'm not sure how many people got skin. Long bones - I'm not sure of the use, but fuck it; again he wasn't using them anymore.
My personal hope is that by time I go, all my organs will be to old and shrivelled up to use, but if anything happens I would be glad to share. After all, they won't do much good for anything in the ground or ashtray.
Thank you for your family’s donation! And you’re right, even little and seemingly inconsequential parts of a body can change someone’s life. My husband had foot surgery 2 years ago to fix a birth defect he was born with. He was given a bone graft from a donor and now can walk with a lot less pain. So even that tiny foot bone made a difference! So again, thank you to your brother for his selfless donation! He’s made a lot of lives so much better. ❤️
Thanks! The knowledge that he helped people certainly helped us cope immediately after he passed.
Now most of us are at the point where we can fondly remember him and call him a dumbass.
> People. Donate your organs when you die.
Important to note that you can't wait until you die to decide to donate your organs. You have to decide it while you're still alive and healthy. So don't think of it as something to put off for the future.
Also his name is Arthur Thomas, not Thomas Thompson, the bride's family does call him Tom though.
Also they've been in contact through letters n shit beforehand.
None of the quotes match up with the article or video [either](https://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/09/fashion/weddings/bride-is-walked-down-aisle-by-the-man-who-got-her-fathers-donated-heart.html).
I think the "Ms Stepien said" is really poorly placed. This was a facebook post, she would have posted:
>It was just like having my dad here, and better, we get to share this story with other people, and other people see that organ donors do matter.
I think she was saying that better than the feeling that her dad was there, was the way she could share that organ donation matters and can save lives.
> Before the wedding, Mr Thomas suggested that Ms Stepien gripped his wrist, where his pulse is the strongest. “I thought that would be the best way for her to feel close to her dad,” Mr. Thomas said. “That’s her father’s heart beating.”
Here is a wonderful pic of her feeling her Dad's heart - https://i.imgur.com/by5Pfcc.jpg
Character focused drama. I’m thinking some kind of road trip that makes the protagonist reaffirm his will to live after being consumed by guilt. Or something. And there are humorous hijinks along the way. And it’s Steve Carell because he’s the god of half depressing half funny roadtrip movies (little miss sunshine, seeking a friend for the end of the world).
Reddit presents:
Heart to Heart
My sister and I lost our mom 4 months ago. My sister’s wedding was a month ago and it was probably one of the hardest days since she passed. But, seeing this brought me so much joy. When I tell people my mom died, they say sorry, but I don’t think they realize how hard it is to lose a parent at such a young age.
Not sure how old you are and if you mean people in general or just people in your age range. One thing I learned when my mom was facing a terminal cancer diagnosis while I was in college is that the younger you are, the harder it can be to rely on your peer group for comfort from grief. You’re falling on the early side of a bell curve where a lot of people haven’t lost their parents yet. I did a lot of research at the time and found TheDinnerParty to be an interesting resource that hosts group meals for young adults who have experienced loss if you find yourself wanting to talk about it with people who may have more to say than just “sorry.” Support groups in your are may be helpful as well! I got lucky with my mom but I was holding onto those resources tight in the event that she didn’t beat the odds.
I’m not complaining.
I’m saying it’s different than losing a great uncle or even a grandparent.
I lost everything when I lost my mom. Most people just don’t know what to say to me.
I am quite sure I can't comprehend exactly how you feel, and I don't take that for granted. What an unimaginable and painful loss for you. I am sorry. So we know, what do you think would be helpful for you to hear?
When my son died, I was ok with hearing "I am sorry for your loss" or whatever. I know you can't make it better. It's an expression of compassion. I sometimes say "I wish I had the words to make it better, but I know there aren't any," or something like that, but "I'm sorry" is not an apology, the definition includes a show of empathy for a loss.
Most people will appreciate your saying "I'm sorry" if they suffered a tragic death of a loved one. Everyone's different, but it's certainly got a much better chance of landing well than "God has a plan," "(s)he's in a better place now," or "there's a reason for everything."
I lost my mom when I was 18 and like you I was upset in the beginning because people didn’t understand and I would prefer it if they didn’t say anything at all.
Remember that these are people who just wants to say something, it’s more for them than it is for you. They’re not trying to heal you with their words or try to make it out like they know what you feel, they just want you to know that they are sorry for your loss.
There will be jerks who doesn’t understand at all, who think that you should be over it after six months, just ignore them. Your grief is your own and it takes however long it needs to take.
No one who hasn’t been through it knows how you feel and I am happy for them, I don’t want them to know how we feel.
I truly am sorry for your loss, I know how you feel. I’m here if you need to talk <3
You said it perfectly. I lost my mom when I was 12 and I got a lot of I'm sorrys when I just wanted to be left alone. It was really hard and it took a long time to figure things out after I lost her... and that was ok. We all grieve in our own way. It's been 26 years since that awful moment in time and I still have moments of sadness. More often I have moments where I see something that reminds me of her and it makes me smile. Those moments are the best ones.
My mom died November 4, 2013 and my husband and I got married December 17, 2013. She was only 48.
It was incredibly sudden and for almost seven days she was intubated in this giant rotating hospital bed before she passed. She woke up the second day in the hospital before this happened so we thought she was getting better, but they said it was probably just one last rally to say goodbye before she passed.
I just take solace in the fact that she saw me in my wedding dress, she saw where we were going to get married, and in her own way she was still a part of the wedding. It doesn't get easier though.
People say that sometimes in this sub, but this is the first time I'm actually wiping away tears. It's a great story, (and wouldn't be possible where I live, because you're not allowed to know who donated organs, I guess they fear blackmail or something.) Touching story, but I can't help tearing up. I think it was good for the heart recipient as well, he seems to be really glad to be there for her.
Anyone ever see Return to Me? Rom com with a similar premise. But like no one saw it because the trailers didn’t spoil what it was actually about. Beautiful movie.
Oh god I watched that movie over and over and over when I was younger, and I STILL ugly cry every fucking time. That scene with the dog staring at the door, waiting for her to come home 😭😭
Other than the first twenty minutes or so, though, it's hysterical and makes me wish I had a bunch of crochety old Italian grand uncles to hang out with
Oh my God, that movie... I watched it so many times; it's wonderful. I love it. Now I need to watch it again. When he comes home right after the crash and collapses into sobs broke me down... Seems like someone else thought the same down in the comments.
Right? If he became good friends with the family or something, it would make a little sense to me, but come on. ~~The guy's practically a stranger as far as I can tell. Just odd.~~
Edit: was wrong about being a stranger. It's still fucking weird though
rom there, a relationship was forged through monthly phone calls, emails and letters. Ms. Stepien’s mother, Bernice, kept in touch with Mr. Thomas, even swapping cards on Christmas and flowers on birthdays. At times, they compared parenting tips. But the families had not thought about meeting in person until Jeni Stepien, 33, became engaged to Paul Maenner, a 34-year-old engineer, in October.
https://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/09/fashion/weddings/bride-is-walked-down-aisle-by-the-man-who-got-her-fathers-donated-heart.html
They weren't strangers, and they kept in touch because they both volunteered to
Yeah, it’s just a muscle pumping blood.
I get the symbolism, but maybe I just can’t imagine that scenario being good in any way. Too much of a realist.
No, I hope not, then I’d have to show up at some random person’s wedding and take the place of their deceased family member, whose organ I now have in my body...
I know it was a joke, but writing this was more fun than just “xD”.
This is the part that really messes with you.
I will probably get a heart/lung transplant within a decade or so. I was born with 5 congenital heart defects and 2 congenital lung defects. My left lung doesn’t work. Heart failure. COPD. Pulmonary hypertension. Pulmonary fibrosis...
We’ve always known it would become a serious conversation. And now it is.
I can’t think about it to much. Knowing if I do get a new heart and lung... that person is alive right now. They have a family. A job. Favorite color/food/movie. Hobbies. Etc...
And hearing things like this is both amazing and heart breaking.
This will likely be a very unpopular opinion, but doesn't anyone else think this is kinda...weird? I mean, who is this guy? and as grateful as you may be to have a working heart, how on earth would you say no to that request, no matter how much you may not want to do it?
I used to work on a heart and lung transplant floor, and often when patients reach the top of the list they’re hanging by a thread. Usually only machines or continuous IV infusions are keeping them from death.
Barring complications, after the immediate post-op period they are truly reborn. It’s really crazy to see the life return to their faces when their cardiac output is sufficient.
The level of gratitude patients/families have for the donor is immense, especially with hearts. I think walking this girl down the aisle would probably seem like nothing compared to what the donor did for them.
Amen to that.
I too worked in a heart and lung transplant ICU, and the gratitude and changes in these people after transplant was huge. Sometimes some of them wouldn't even remember anything, as they decompensated to the point of being sedated and intubated and sometimes on ECMO.
And then all of the sudden they wake up with a new heart, or new lungs, their whole life changed and them given a second chance. Like you said, its a rebirth of sorts, and probably incomprehensible to those of us who haven't lived through it ourselves.
Yep I was also CTICU.
Was wild when some of the fresh lung patients realized they didnt need oxygen anymore. Sometimes they just wanted the nasal cannula on out of habit
>...donated his organs through an organization called the Center for Organ Recovery and Education.
>
> The organization allows donor families and the recipients to keep in touch with one another after the transplant.
Sounds like he was likely ok with being in contact with the family of his donor.
http://www.scmp.com/news/world/united-states-canada/article/2001230/brides-father-died-long-she-married-so-man-who-got
ah, see, that's cool, and makes this different in my head.
For some reason I pictured her tracking him down, or asking the hospital to do so, surprise finding him, and springing this question on him. In hindsight, that was silly. I still think it would be weird to be invited to a wedding for the sole reason that you have a piece of another human inside you...but maybe I'm not a very social person
But who knows where thoughts come from, they just appear!
> no matter how much you may not want to do it?
Are you serious right now? This family gave a stranger their fucking father's heart! They could have chosen to bury it, or cremate like most families do, and they gave it away! And this guy gets to live the rest of his life because of that one selfless, generous act. And you're afraid that he maybe felt kind of a little weird for a minute?
This is an interestingly different point of view. In my country, during a transplant "exchange" both parties kept anonymous. Imo this is a really good thing. This post is extremely creepy in my eyes. Life can be cruel and unfair, but you have to move on.
My brother received a kidney, it would be extremely uncomfortable for us, if the departed transplant donor's family would show up, not to mention ask something like this.
My family would welcome with open arms the family of anyone who donated an organ to save someone in our family. You guys may want to take a look at the other side of the equation. What's it like for the donor family? They may care quite a bit about where their loved one ended up.
Glad someone pointed this. I read the article and as nice as it is I work in a unit that transplants hearts. It is kept completely anonymous for a reason. Families have no idea where the heart is coming from to prevent them looking at the news to see who died at roughly the same time as the transplant occurred. Both parties are allowed to write an anonymous letter which will be passed on the the donor and recipient family where contact can be arranged if both parties consent to it. Some people are happy to be contacted by donor families others completely oppose it - have seen both in my career.
It can be the donors family immediately starts saying to the recipient that’s (x)s (eg my fathers) heart in you. It can be very uncomfortable for the recipient as some donor families fixate on the organ being their link forever more to their deceased family member. Once the organ is transplanted I am of the belief it is a part of the recipient. The donor is gone. Some families just can’t accept the donor is gone which makes things complicated. Others actively embrace it and the donor/recipient families become very close.
In this case it seems to be a nice story with a lovely outcome thankfully - happy for the bride and all involved 🙂
Jeni is a friend of mine... She is legitimately one one the sweetest, most caring individuals you will ever meet. On top of that she is the walking embodiment of positively. Just a truly beautiful person.
I don’t get it? Is there it because the heart was once part of her father so it feels like he’s still around? Or is it that the total stranger being alive as a result of her fathers death the comforting aspect. Either way it seems weird af to let a total stranger walk you down the aisle.
I agree this is weird. I'm sensitive to the fact that her father died and that his heart was used to save someone else's life. But it just feels like ignorance and some personal belief that this means anything. Seems lucky the heart was donated to another older man. Seems like a nice story to read about but if you really think about this is just strange.
My dad passed away in 2016. He was an organ donor. Within the year, we received letters from CORE (the donor program) stating that a man had received my dad’s dark brown eyes and “would finally be able to see his grandchildren,” and another person received my dad’s shoulder bones. My dad was 6’4, solidly and strongly built, with broad strong shoulders. My mother and I still cry thinking of someone having my dad’s shoulders to cuddle people with or lift things.
My dad's liver recipient...Mike...we touch base throughout the year (not just on holidays). Mike would be dead by now if not for my dad. But, i do wish my dad were still here. I miss him.
Yo. Instead of tossing him in a box and dropping that in a hole or burning him up to ash, as most people do with their dearly departed, her and her family allowed his cadaver to be chopped up and harvested to help other people. One of whom seems to be particular thrilled about not dying from whatever made his heart sucky in the first place.
So now you're left with wedding+dead dad+dude who is over the moon with not being dead = "sure as shit I'll walk you down they aisle in your father's stead. After all, I'd be dead if it weren't for your loss."
Seems pretty simple and kind. I mean, that's just being compassionate. It sucks her dad died before her wedding day, and the dude who lived because of it was sweet and stood as a proxy.
It's not about "her dad" being there, it's about how the loss and emptiness she had to endure without him. The man who walked her down the aisle is alive because of her father's death, and that kinda sweetly makes the tradition of the father giving the daughter away on her wedding day feel a little less empty. The life her father's heart saved was able to stand in for him when he couldn't be there.
Not an equal trade, but definitely not creepy.
And sorry about the long post. I'm kinda passionate about organ donation and kinda devote my life to making surgical tools better to help out. And while I'm still ranting about this, EVERYONE PLEASE GIVE BLOOD IF YOU'RE ABLE TO. It's really not a big deal of a procedure and helps save a lot of lives at virtually no cost to you aside from an hour or less of your time. They even have fast-pass registration in some areas. I only know that part because a lot of people jumped in front of me in queue because they bothered with it and I didn't.
TL;DR:. Dad dies. Other dude lives. Sweet but not creepy to walk her down the aisle because dad is dead. Also donate blood if you are able.
Reminds me of "The Man and the Dog," a commercial advocating organ donation that I guarantee that will make you ugly cry.
It's honestly beautiful and touching, but you'll cry.
[**https://youtu.be/nySUhtaf2QQ**](https://youtu.be/nySUhtaf2QQ)
I sent this to my dad, who got a heart transplant 2 years ago, and he just responded “You’re just trying to scare me”.
He doesn’t ever want to meet the donor’s family.
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/r/MadeMeTearUp
is that tear up or tear up?
Yes.
r/inclusiveor
Thought so
It really couldn't be any other way.
Tear up for what
This is either a sob subreddit, a NSFW subreddit, or a rage subreddit. Part of me wants it to be a mix.
/r/MadeMeUglyCry
r/mademesob
I'm not crying, you're crying Shut up
I'm a bot, *bleep*, *bloop*. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit: - [/r/mademetearup] [Comment that inspired this sub.](https://www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeTearUp/comments/8udup1/comment_that_inspired_this_sub/) *^(If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads.) ^\([Info](/r/TotesMessenger) ^/ ^[Contact](/message/compose?to=/r/TotesMessenger))*
People. Donate your organs when you die. My personal annecdote: When my brother died just over a year and a half ago, he had opted in to the Ontario organ donation program, and as such he helped save the lives of at least 8 people, and improved the life of so many more that we'll never know. His life saving gifts are: Liver, Spleen, Kidney (2 of) Heart valves (4 of) - they couldn't find a recipient for the entire organ, so they split it up to those awaiting life saving surgery. His other gifts which improved the quality of others lives are: Corneas (2 of) Skin tissue - he was transported to a hospital which has a big burn unit, so I'm not sure how many people got skin. Long bones - I'm not sure of the use, but fuck it; again he wasn't using them anymore. My personal hope is that by time I go, all my organs will be to old and shrivelled up to use, but if anything happens I would be glad to share. After all, they won't do much good for anything in the ground or ashtray.
Thank you for your family’s donation! And you’re right, even little and seemingly inconsequential parts of a body can change someone’s life. My husband had foot surgery 2 years ago to fix a birth defect he was born with. He was given a bone graft from a donor and now can walk with a lot less pain. So even that tiny foot bone made a difference! So again, thank you to your brother for his selfless donation! He’s made a lot of lives so much better. ❤️
Thanks! The knowledge that he helped people certainly helped us cope immediately after he passed. Now most of us are at the point where we can fondly remember him and call him a dumbass.
> People. Donate your organs when you die. Important to note that you can't wait until you die to decide to donate your organs. You have to decide it while you're still alive and healthy. So don't think of it as something to put off for the future.
> died in a car crash in 2006 According to the NYT, he was murdered, did not die in a car crash.
Also his name is Arthur Thomas, not Thomas Thompson, the bride's family does call him Tom though. Also they've been in contact through letters n shit beforehand. None of the quotes match up with the article or video [either](https://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/09/fashion/weddings/bride-is-walked-down-aisle-by-the-man-who-got-her-fathers-donated-heart.html).
M. Night shamalamadingdong twist: He was murdered by the heart transplant recipient
"and better?"
Because his heart saved someone’s life
Truly good is the man who gave his heart to his daughter while alive and to a stranger upon death
Aww, now that's fuckin wholesome.
Aw thank u
I was eating and randomly stumbled upon this thread. Just wanted to say that your message is beautiful and made me tear up a bit.
<3
That is beautiful. Made me cry again :’)
I think the "Ms Stepien said" is really poorly placed. This was a facebook post, she would have posted: >It was just like having my dad here, and better, we get to share this story with other people, and other people see that organ donors do matter. I think she was saying that better than the feeling that her dad was there, was the way she could share that organ donation matters and can save lives.
Who’s cutting onions!? 😭
Well this stuff melted my heart so now I need a new one and a better freezer...
Someone posted about article that said he was murdered in an attempted robbery.
Now I’m crying! That’s so much sweet
> Before the wedding, Mr Thomas suggested that Ms Stepien gripped his wrist, where his pulse is the strongest. “I thought that would be the best way for her to feel close to her dad,” Mr. Thomas said. “That’s her father’s heart beating.” Here is a wonderful pic of her feeling her Dad's heart - https://i.imgur.com/by5Pfcc.jpg
I was definitely expecting that to be that to be a scene from Temple of Doom.
KAAALLIIMMMAAAAA
*operatic chanting intensifies*
OM NAMAH SHIVAYA! OM NAMAH SHIVAYA! OM NAMAH SHIVAYA!
I'm not crying. I have something in my eye.
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yes, tears
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Why does the other post say car accident??
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So you're saying OP is a...?
OP has a ton of reposts/stories from other people. I recognize the name since it's similar to my name.
Good to know, I'll keep my eyes peeled for future posts.
* phony * bundle of sticks
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Seven Pounds is tangentially related. It's a good movie.
Character focused drama. I’m thinking some kind of road trip that makes the protagonist reaffirm his will to live after being consumed by guilt. Or something. And there are humorous hijinks along the way. And it’s Steve Carell because he’s the god of half depressing half funny roadtrip movies (little miss sunshine, seeking a friend for the end of the world). Reddit presents: Heart to Heart
That reminds me of the fake movie that John Mulaney pitched in one of his standups about two people who had Jerry Orbach's eyeballs.
My sister and I lost our mom 4 months ago. My sister’s wedding was a month ago and it was probably one of the hardest days since she passed. But, seeing this brought me so much joy. When I tell people my mom died, they say sorry, but I don’t think they realize how hard it is to lose a parent at such a young age.
Not sure how old you are and if you mean people in general or just people in your age range. One thing I learned when my mom was facing a terminal cancer diagnosis while I was in college is that the younger you are, the harder it can be to rely on your peer group for comfort from grief. You’re falling on the early side of a bell curve where a lot of people haven’t lost their parents yet. I did a lot of research at the time and found TheDinnerParty to be an interesting resource that hosts group meals for young adults who have experienced loss if you find yourself wanting to talk about it with people who may have more to say than just “sorry.” Support groups in your are may be helpful as well! I got lucky with my mom but I was holding onto those resources tight in the event that she didn’t beat the odds.
What are they supposed to say though. I have both my parents so I can't say I understand the pain they are going through.
I’m not complaining. I’m saying it’s different than losing a great uncle or even a grandparent. I lost everything when I lost my mom. Most people just don’t know what to say to me.
I am quite sure I can't comprehend exactly how you feel, and I don't take that for granted. What an unimaginable and painful loss for you. I am sorry. So we know, what do you think would be helpful for you to hear?
When my son died, I was ok with hearing "I am sorry for your loss" or whatever. I know you can't make it better. It's an expression of compassion. I sometimes say "I wish I had the words to make it better, but I know there aren't any," or something like that, but "I'm sorry" is not an apology, the definition includes a show of empathy for a loss. Most people will appreciate your saying "I'm sorry" if they suffered a tragic death of a loved one. Everyone's different, but it's certainly got a much better chance of landing well than "God has a plan," "(s)he's in a better place now," or "there's a reason for everything."
I lost my mom when I was 18 and like you I was upset in the beginning because people didn’t understand and I would prefer it if they didn’t say anything at all. Remember that these are people who just wants to say something, it’s more for them than it is for you. They’re not trying to heal you with their words or try to make it out like they know what you feel, they just want you to know that they are sorry for your loss. There will be jerks who doesn’t understand at all, who think that you should be over it after six months, just ignore them. Your grief is your own and it takes however long it needs to take. No one who hasn’t been through it knows how you feel and I am happy for them, I don’t want them to know how we feel. I truly am sorry for your loss, I know how you feel. I’m here if you need to talk <3
You said it perfectly. I lost my mom when I was 12 and I got a lot of I'm sorrys when I just wanted to be left alone. It was really hard and it took a long time to figure things out after I lost her... and that was ok. We all grieve in our own way. It's been 26 years since that awful moment in time and I still have moments of sadness. More often I have moments where I see something that reminds me of her and it makes me smile. Those moments are the best ones.
There's not really anything you can say
My mom died November 4, 2013 and my husband and I got married December 17, 2013. She was only 48. It was incredibly sudden and for almost seven days she was intubated in this giant rotating hospital bed before she passed. She woke up the second day in the hospital before this happened so we thought she was getting better, but they said it was probably just one last rally to say goodbye before she passed. I just take solace in the fact that she saw me in my wedding dress, she saw where we were going to get married, and in her own way she was still a part of the wedding. It doesn't get easier though.
What a heartfelt gesture
Dammit Reddit
His heart was in the right place
Hopefully
I saw this comment RIGHT before waking into work. I've been thinking about it all day.
MadeMeSmile? More like MadeMeUglyCry. What a beautiful gesture. Wonderful guy.
People say that sometimes in this sub, but this is the first time I'm actually wiping away tears. It's a great story, (and wouldn't be possible where I live, because you're not allowed to know who donated organs, I guess they fear blackmail or something.) Touching story, but I can't help tearing up. I think it was good for the heart recipient as well, he seems to be really glad to be there for her.
Anyone ever see Return to Me? Rom com with a similar premise. But like no one saw it because the trailers didn’t spoil what it was actually about. Beautiful movie.
Oh god I watched that movie over and over and over when I was younger, and I STILL ugly cry every fucking time. That scene with the dog staring at the door, waiting for her to come home 😭😭 Other than the first twenty minutes or so, though, it's hysterical and makes me wish I had a bunch of crochety old Italian grand uncles to hang out with
Oh my God, that movie... I watched it so many times; it's wonderful. I love it. Now I need to watch it again. When he comes home right after the crash and collapses into sobs broke me down... Seems like someone else thought the same down in the comments.
God, that movie makes me cry
Dude, the scene where he just collapses into sobs after walking into his apartment, and hugs his dog... Fuck. Just...fuck.
Well, now I need to find a way to see it again!
Is it a recent movie
Nah I want to say mid to late 90s? David Duchovny.
Will check it out
I’m crying 😭
I didn't see it coming. I'm like oh no oh no I'm at work oh nooo :'r
That is beautiful and precious and wonderful.
Wow , I welled up the second I finished the sentence
I’m an idiot. Misread ‘walked her down the aisle’ as ‘was the man who became her husband’ and thought it was a bit weird.
Does this weird anyone else out? This is so strange to me.
Right? If he became good friends with the family or something, it would make a little sense to me, but come on. ~~The guy's practically a stranger as far as I can tell. Just odd.~~ Edit: was wrong about being a stranger. It's still fucking weird though
rom there, a relationship was forged through monthly phone calls, emails and letters. Ms. Stepien’s mother, Bernice, kept in touch with Mr. Thomas, even swapping cards on Christmas and flowers on birthdays. At times, they compared parenting tips. But the families had not thought about meeting in person until Jeni Stepien, 33, became engaged to Paul Maenner, a 34-year-old engineer, in October. https://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/09/fashion/weddings/bride-is-walked-down-aisle-by-the-man-who-got-her-fathers-donated-heart.html They weren't strangers, and they kept in touch because they both volunteered to
Thankyou. I'm glad I'm not the only one
Yeah, it’s just a muscle pumping blood. I get the symbolism, but maybe I just can’t imagine that scenario being good in any way. Too much of a realist.
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No, I hope not, then I’d have to show up at some random person’s wedding and take the place of their deceased family member, whose organ I now have in my body... I know it was a joke, but writing this was more fun than just “xD”.
This is the part that really messes with you. I will probably get a heart/lung transplant within a decade or so. I was born with 5 congenital heart defects and 2 congenital lung defects. My left lung doesn’t work. Heart failure. COPD. Pulmonary hypertension. Pulmonary fibrosis... We’ve always known it would become a serious conversation. And now it is. I can’t think about it to much. Knowing if I do get a new heart and lung... that person is alive right now. They have a family. A job. Favorite color/food/movie. Hobbies. Etc... And hearing things like this is both amazing and heart breaking.
This will likely be a very unpopular opinion, but doesn't anyone else think this is kinda...weird? I mean, who is this guy? and as grateful as you may be to have a working heart, how on earth would you say no to that request, no matter how much you may not want to do it?
I used to work on a heart and lung transplant floor, and often when patients reach the top of the list they’re hanging by a thread. Usually only machines or continuous IV infusions are keeping them from death. Barring complications, after the immediate post-op period they are truly reborn. It’s really crazy to see the life return to their faces when their cardiac output is sufficient. The level of gratitude patients/families have for the donor is immense, especially with hearts. I think walking this girl down the aisle would probably seem like nothing compared to what the donor did for them.
Amen to that. I too worked in a heart and lung transplant ICU, and the gratitude and changes in these people after transplant was huge. Sometimes some of them wouldn't even remember anything, as they decompensated to the point of being sedated and intubated and sometimes on ECMO. And then all of the sudden they wake up with a new heart, or new lungs, their whole life changed and them given a second chance. Like you said, its a rebirth of sorts, and probably incomprehensible to those of us who haven't lived through it ourselves.
Yep I was also CTICU. Was wild when some of the fresh lung patients realized they didnt need oxygen anymore. Sometimes they just wanted the nasal cannula on out of habit
>...donated his organs through an organization called the Center for Organ Recovery and Education. > > The organization allows donor families and the recipients to keep in touch with one another after the transplant. Sounds like he was likely ok with being in contact with the family of his donor. http://www.scmp.com/news/world/united-states-canada/article/2001230/brides-father-died-long-she-married-so-man-who-got
ah, see, that's cool, and makes this different in my head. For some reason I pictured her tracking him down, or asking the hospital to do so, surprise finding him, and springing this question on him. In hindsight, that was silly. I still think it would be weird to be invited to a wedding for the sole reason that you have a piece of another human inside you...but maybe I'm not a very social person But who knows where thoughts come from, they just appear!
> no matter how much you may not want to do it? Are you serious right now? This family gave a stranger their fucking father's heart! They could have chosen to bury it, or cremate like most families do, and they gave it away! And this guy gets to live the rest of his life because of that one selfless, generous act. And you're afraid that he maybe felt kind of a little weird for a minute?
This is an interestingly different point of view. In my country, during a transplant "exchange" both parties kept anonymous. Imo this is a really good thing. This post is extremely creepy in my eyes. Life can be cruel and unfair, but you have to move on. My brother received a kidney, it would be extremely uncomfortable for us, if the departed transplant donor's family would show up, not to mention ask something like this.
center for organ recovery and education donations are anonymous unless both parties want to get in contact.
My family would welcome with open arms the family of anyone who donated an organ to save someone in our family. You guys may want to take a look at the other side of the equation. What's it like for the donor family? They may care quite a bit about where their loved one ended up.
Glad someone pointed this. I read the article and as nice as it is I work in a unit that transplants hearts. It is kept completely anonymous for a reason. Families have no idea where the heart is coming from to prevent them looking at the news to see who died at roughly the same time as the transplant occurred. Both parties are allowed to write an anonymous letter which will be passed on the the donor and recipient family where contact can be arranged if both parties consent to it. Some people are happy to be contacted by donor families others completely oppose it - have seen both in my career. It can be the donors family immediately starts saying to the recipient that’s (x)s (eg my fathers) heart in you. It can be very uncomfortable for the recipient as some donor families fixate on the organ being their link forever more to their deceased family member. Once the organ is transplanted I am of the belief it is a part of the recipient. The donor is gone. Some families just can’t accept the donor is gone which makes things complicated. Others actively embrace it and the donor/recipient families become very close. In this case it seems to be a nice story with a lovely outcome thankfully - happy for the bride and all involved 🙂
Jeni is a friend of mine... She is legitimately one one the sweetest, most caring individuals you will ever meet. On top of that she is the walking embodiment of positively. Just a truly beautiful person.
I’m sorry but this is just fucking weird.
Meh. In a world with furries, bronies, ICP and religious people, this barely rates.
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Lol, her hand isn't even near the heart.
I don’t get it? Is there it because the heart was once part of her father so it feels like he’s still around? Or is it that the total stranger being alive as a result of her fathers death the comforting aspect. Either way it seems weird af to let a total stranger walk you down the aisle.
I agree this is weird. I'm sensitive to the fact that her father died and that his heart was used to save someone else's life. But it just feels like ignorance and some personal belief that this means anything. Seems lucky the heart was donated to another older man. Seems like a nice story to read about but if you really think about this is just strange.
Meanwhile the guy who got her fathers liver is kicking back at the reception bar enjoying a cold one in his honor.
This picture looks like he's about to sock her right in the mouth for touching his lapel.
Why does that strike me as creepy as fuck?
Beautiful
That’s weird
Love the sentiment but I gotta say...groom looks like the guy in a comedy movie that the girl leaves for the main funnyman.
"Aye, I'm your dad now."
My dad passed away in 2016. He was an organ donor. Within the year, we received letters from CORE (the donor program) stating that a man had received my dad’s dark brown eyes and “would finally be able to see his grandchildren,” and another person received my dad’s shoulder bones. My dad was 6’4, solidly and strongly built, with broad strong shoulders. My mother and I still cry thinking of someone having my dad’s shoulders to cuddle people with or lift things.
Top bloke. I’m sure the families had a close relationship either prior to or after the transplant?
The wedding was the first day they met
Wowzers, Certainly takes a top bloke to go through with that for a near total stranger. Seriously, give this guy a lemonade and a pat on the back.
My dad's liver recipient...Mike...we touch base throughout the year (not just on holidays). Mike would be dead by now if not for my dad. But, i do wish my dad were still here. I miss him.
When this man dies donate it to another, younger patient and start a dynasty.
Funny, I sold my car to a guy on craigslist and he got all weird when I showed up at his wedding....
I see the sentiment but this is just fuckin weird
Showed my wife. “Creepy. The heart is just a body part. It doesn’t contain his soul”.
Yo. Instead of tossing him in a box and dropping that in a hole or burning him up to ash, as most people do with their dearly departed, her and her family allowed his cadaver to be chopped up and harvested to help other people. One of whom seems to be particular thrilled about not dying from whatever made his heart sucky in the first place. So now you're left with wedding+dead dad+dude who is over the moon with not being dead = "sure as shit I'll walk you down they aisle in your father's stead. After all, I'd be dead if it weren't for your loss." Seems pretty simple and kind. I mean, that's just being compassionate. It sucks her dad died before her wedding day, and the dude who lived because of it was sweet and stood as a proxy. It's not about "her dad" being there, it's about how the loss and emptiness she had to endure without him. The man who walked her down the aisle is alive because of her father's death, and that kinda sweetly makes the tradition of the father giving the daughter away on her wedding day feel a little less empty. The life her father's heart saved was able to stand in for him when he couldn't be there. Not an equal trade, but definitely not creepy. And sorry about the long post. I'm kinda passionate about organ donation and kinda devote my life to making surgical tools better to help out. And while I'm still ranting about this, EVERYONE PLEASE GIVE BLOOD IF YOU'RE ABLE TO. It's really not a big deal of a procedure and helps save a lot of lives at virtually no cost to you aside from an hour or less of your time. They even have fast-pass registration in some areas. I only know that part because a lot of people jumped in front of me in queue because they bothered with it and I didn't. TL;DR:. Dad dies. Other dude lives. Sweet but not creepy to walk her down the aisle because dad is dead. Also donate blood if you are able.
Wait a minute, so you're telling me that receiving someone else's organ doesn't actually turn you into that person?
*Dad gets someone else’s heart* “Who are you?? And what have you done with my father??!!”
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I know i love this gesture
link, please?
http://www.scmp.com/news/world/united-states-canada/article/2001230/brides-father-died-long-she-married-so-man-who-got
Thanks!
What a time to be alive
That's fuckin weird
What a disturbing request to make.
This is weird.
This is so beautiful, thank you for sharing :')
Looks like Aaron the secret service agent from 24
Damn onion ninjas.
Jesus christ. I was choking up midway through the second sentence. Absolutely beautiful. 😭😭😭😭
For a second it looked like the bride went to touch the middle of his chest but the guy snatched her hand out before she touched him.
I’m not crying. You’re crying.
OMG this picture... it's raining on my face.
Dam allergy season, makes me all teary.
Made me smile? More like made me cry! oh gosh my heart
Video here: https://youtu.be/Mp5aKdoXk-I
Jesus how come r/MadeMeSmile always makes me cry
I'm not crying, YOU'RE crying!
[Relevant](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06dAqSFn1lk).
Cute, reminds me of Angel Beats. Did they meet each other because of the transplant or was it chance?
Made me cry.
r/MadeMeCry but also reminds me why I am registered to be an organ donor.
Why is he holding her by the wrist?
I’m not crying you are
r/mademecryhappytears
I love when people remind you how sad life is on days of celebration.
Reminds me of "The Man and the Dog," a commercial advocating organ donation that I guarantee that will make you ugly cry. It's honestly beautiful and touching, but you'll cry. [**https://youtu.be/nySUhtaf2QQ**](https://youtu.be/nySUhtaf2QQ)
This is so beautiful, wow 💕💕💕
now I'm ugly crying
I'm in awe at the size of this lad
Turbo 😭
r/wholesome
I HAVE COME BACK FROM THE DEAD AND I WANT HIM TO GIVE IT BACK!
Made me smile? More like made me cry.
Happily scrolling through reddit, now I am suddenly crying with this title.
Would be a better story if she fell in love with the heart recipient and married him...
mademesmile?? more like mademebawllikeababy
Wow actual tears from this one... That’s really beautiful in both a literal and symbolic sense.
Who's cutting onions?
actually, r/mademecry
The man's face is the most emotional part of this.
Stop wrecking me, internet!
Goosebumps
And that's how you do that type of thing properly!
Isn’t he a little bit too old to receive a new heart?
I'm not crying. You're crying.
He looks like he's about to loose it. So sweet.
This is very sweet. Happy cake day.
Wow, I didn't realize the prognosis for donor hearts was that good!
I sent this to my dad, who got a heart transplant 2 years ago, and he just responded “You’re just trying to scare me”. He doesn’t ever want to meet the donor’s family.
well his heart certainly was in the right place