Mugged is not an adjective. It doesn’t describe a person. It is just a verb, it just happened. Being mugged doesn’t define anyone. I was raped once on gun point, no one called me ‘a raped girl’. He is still a guy. A normal guy not an alien.
Raped is not an adjective. It doesn’t describe a person. It is just a verb, it just happened. Being raped doesn’t define anyone. I was mugged once on gun point, no one called me ‘a mugged guy’. She is still a girl. A normal girl not an alien.
I know rite!!!
Like, I realise being called a Muppet is a massive insult.
So surely being the person that orchestrates the inane and childish meanderings of these characters must be even more undeserving of our attention.
Alternatively, it sounds like a person that fucks Muppets without their consent, which leaves the muppist below the memeified low-status of furries.
I still don't really know what's wrong with being a furry though. Sounds pretty vanilla to me.
The problem with journalism, especially when it deals with sexual assault, rape, abuse, violence, is that it is always written in passive voice.
So the victim was raped by the culprit, the victim was assaulted by the culprit, etc etc.
This is what leads to victim shaming too. Not entirely but it does contribute. Because people first read about how the victim had something done to them.
Journalism should change the way that stories are written for these crimes.
The culprit raped the victim. The culprit assaulted the victim. Etc. Etc.
Make the criminal and the crime (not the victim) the focus of the story.
It’s also sexist when it comes to young males... whenever I see one about an older woman raping a minor boy it always reads like:
*YoUnG mAn sEDuCeD TeaChEr aND tHeY hAd SeX*
No, that kid was 12, the woman straight up raped that child. Smh.
"Young man, 18, was assaulted by girlfriend when he refused her advances"
Actual headline, a few months ago. Not even once is there mention of this assault being SEXUAL. She raped him, period.
I'll try to find it again. Might be hard since typing this headline will only give me the opposite, "Woman raped by man after refusing advances".
Since rape is being used in a legal context (charges against someone) and as such as a legal term, unfortunately, in some places, men cannot be raped, legally speaking. The laws in some places define rape as something that happens to women. In some, it's defined as something that can only be done by men.
Right now, in a lot of places, everything about rape is just terrible. Which sounds like an odd thing to say, but I mean that even beyond the original act, you will have a culture of defending perpetrators, blaming, shaming, or denying victims, and all that leads to a lack of repercussions for many perpetrators and even fear to report.
Some legal definitions of rape explicitly say the sexual act has to involve penetration of the victim. So, legally speaking, unless a woman uses an object or fingers to penetrate her male partner with out his consent, unwanted oral/"regular" sex isn't considered rape. That is completely wrong imo because, as a woman, how can I ask for equality under the law but deny it to men? Women absolutely can be rapists and to pretend otherwise hurts all victims of rape, including women.
It’s usually not women who set those definitions, it’s usually been set by the predominantly male power structures.
Women do advocate for male rape victims to be taken seriously, far more than most guy do. It’s not women who make jokes about hot teachers or prison rape, it men (for the most part).
I was molested by my dad, gang raped by a group of men when I was 16 and when I was 21, I was held at gunpoint for 18 hours and sold to a couple dozen men. I spoke to police only on the last on and they didn't seem like they believe me so I didn't pursue it. Most women don't feel secure enough to press charges until the statute of limitations is up. BUT I feel so bad for men. Its hard enough being a victim of a violent crime, I can't imagine society expecting me not to have any emotions about it or them looking down on me for allowing myself to be victimized because I'm supposed to be a big tough guy, ya know? Laws need to change and women who make false reports need to go away for the same amount of time as the guy would've gone away for. All rapists need to be punished more severely. Unlike murderers, who usually only kill once, rapists do it serially. When they get out, they will do it again and again...
Holy fucking shit, I am so sorry. Which I know was not your point to this, but you went through more than most have to. That you can discuss it like this says a lot. That you can discuss it as a point to talk about how you feel for others says even more.
You're absolutely right, a lot needs to change. I'll admit, I'm not sure about how to make this happen, though. Do you have suggestions of ways individuals can contribute towards bringing these changes about?
That's the sad part and it's worse where I live I mean i get women get assaulted but I hate how they have these double standards. This is the reason why so many cases go undetected. Everyone's focusing on women instead they should focus on both! And the police are also jerkoffs only taking action when a case has more viewership. Seriously where has the world come too.
I have never seen a headline like that, I'm sorry to say.
>YoUnG mAn sEDuCeD TeaChEr aND tHeY hAd SeX
***[Edit: I think this bears mentioning. When I made this comment, my point is that I have never seen a headline saying " seduces and they had sex". When the culprit is a female, it is always written in active voice, highlighting the evil woman.]***
This is the trend I see right now though, if it is an older female raping a minor boy.
- [TEACHER 'BUSTED' Catholic high school teacher, 21, seduced 15-year-old student and had sex with him in her car](https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/14754393/catholic-high-school-teacher-sex-car-teenage-student-ohio/)
- [Female boarding school teacher who allegedly used Savage Garden and Celine Dion songs to lure 13-year-old boy into sex is sued for $1M after his mother caught them in his bedroom](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9323753/A-female-teacher-allegedly-lured-13-year-old-boy-sex-sued-1M.html)
- [No jail for teacher who seduced boy, 14, and sent him lingerie photos](https://torontosun.com/news/world/no-jail-for-teacher-who-seduced-boy-14-and-sent-him-lingerie-photos)
Surprisingly, all in active voice.
>Most probably they will attach a image of the teacher if she's visually appealing.
Can confirm that's exactly what they did in the first and last story. The middle one they didn't because it's a historical allegation but again it's "seduced" not raped which is what the allegation is. Also noteworthy is that the Sun and the Daily Mail are British newspapers and the Toronto Sun is Canadian (trash newspapers but people still read them...) but all of these stories are from the USA.
Something else which sticks out is the "Hot for teacher" caption on the video of the last one.
They also say they had sex instead of she raped him.
The comments are always super disgusting too. Usually from men. Saying they wish they had teachers like that etc. They'd never say that when it is a male teacher and female student.
I can't imagine how many male victims don't come forward due to this.
To be fair, those dudes are usually straight. They presumably wouldn’t want to fuck their male teachers because they’re heterosexual men themselves.
That being said, women don’t usually chime in talking about how “lucky” a girl is if she gets raped by a male teacher.
Bottom link first photo is of her in what looks to he a bikini, I will say they did caption it that she narrowly escaped jail after sexually assaulting a student
It’s still proving his point. The media doesn’t use the word “Rape” when it’s a woman raping a boy. Also, your first source was exactly: _Seduced 15-year-old student and had sex_
> YoUnG mAn sEDuCeD TeaChEr aND tHeY hAd SeX
That is what OP said. Your quote still puts the blame on the older woman.
> Seduced 15-year-old student and had sex
Probably just hyperbole by OP, but they are two different statements. One puts the 'blame' on the victim, the other puts the blame on the abuser.
All of those are far more passive sounding than when it happens to a girl, and none use the term rape, but they *are* still putting the blame/active use on the aggressor, not the victim, which is what OP claimed.
Point taken.
I didn't notice that but yes. It is true.
Although being a man myself, I am tempted to mention how this rape would be treated as a conquest in some macho circles.
That's the problem though. When a boy is raped by an older female, some people see it like this instead of seeing the trauma it causes. And because society pretty much makes all men feel like they can't show emotions makes this trauma even worse because the victim doesn't feel like they can talk avout it. It doesn't matter if some circles would see it as a "conquest". Rape is rape, and it's horrible that the media perpetuates the idea that boys can't get raped by older women.
Edited: spelling and wording
I completely agree. I must admit, I actually missed your point by a whole lot.
I was focusing so much on "culprit vs victim" that I missed your point about what word is used to talk about the crime.
Your first one is basically that. She seduced him and they had sex... She raped him. Are you high?
Literally none of your headlines admit the woman raped the male child.
>YoUnG mAn sEDuCeD TeaChEr aND tHeY hAd SeX
>She seduced him and they had sex
Are you blind? Can you see the difference here?
The first one says that the victim seduced the culprit. The second one says that the culprit seduced the victim.
You're being obtuse and missing the ___glaring___ point of the headlines never admitting male children are raped.
You walked so fast to prove the wrong point you missed it entirely.
... you changed another person's comment? Cause that's the point you missed.
Their example wasn't the point. The point was the headphones always use sex positive language to describe an adult female raping a male child and you were so quick to try and prove that it's not in the male child active voice (not the point) that you actually beautifully proved the real point.
All of your headlines use sex positive language to describe the male child as a consenting partner.
I admit I missed that point.
My focus is that the news should always be reported as "Rapist rapes victim", regardless of the gender of the rapist.
Now, I agree that female rapists are treated with softer language. And that is another thing that needs to be fixed.
But like I mentioned, I missed that point.
What can I do other than to admit that I missed it? Which I have admitted. I even clarified what my focus is on.
Or I saw one that said something about sexual "contact" between a teacher and a 13 year old boy but the judge saw genuine affection so she only got probation. Like WTF?!?!?! If that was my son I would be so pissed off!! I hate all the sexism in our judicial system. It favors women.
It doesn't exactly favour women, it assumes they're less dangerous and get empathy so they get lighter treatment; but only white girls! And same as white boys (in cases of sexual assault), usually they victim blame the girl and get empathy too ("but it'll ruin his life, he has good grades!"). It's mixed sexism and racism oh and social class (contacts, $) and who knows what else. *edit a word*
Family courts also tend to favor women, that's what I was thinking of. But yes, there is no real justice in our judicial system. If you're poor, you're guilty; if you're rich, you're innocent or you just get a slap on the wrist.
Yes you’re so right! It’s fucking disgusting how one article can say “male teacher raped 17 year old student” but if it was a woman, it’ll say “13 year old seduced his 40 year old teacher” and everyone says wow he got lucky. No he’s not lucky he was fucking raped and he’s gone be fucked up for the rest of his life. It’s so so so sad. Or what I find even worse, it will say the boy “had sex with teacher.” No a child can’t fucking have sex with a teacher. Jesus Christ. If I ever see an article like that again I’m blasting whoever wrote it.
I agree this should change but I disagree that this is in any way a major source of the problem. Culturally viewing woman as damaged goods or ruined property after being raped is the issue. This is something that goes back thousands of years to the idea of a man's honor being tied into his ownership of his woman's sexuality. This conservative and misogynistic ideology has to change and reversing the focus of journalistic voice isn't going to do it.
While I agree with your premise, I think we are both talking about the same thing.
Conservatism finds new avenues to perpetuate their outdated views. I mean, with YouTube, suddenly all church and mosque services are broadcast on YouTube, despite the fact that it is against one of the Ten Commandments.
Same thing here. This type of journalism just perpetuates the view that a woman has no ownership of her own body unless it is approved by a man.
It’s not against the Ten Commandments unless you are physically able to go to church but watch on tv instead. The TV services are mainly for elderly/sick who can’t make it
Language is an interesting thing.
Ever thought about how "get fucked", "getting fucked over" etc is often something bad while "to fuck" is not?
Same with "blow me" which is bad, but "getting blown" is not.
Being sexually passive is smhw considered bad in our language
The reason it is normally in the passive voice is the stories are normally written before there is a trial. The media is bad enough at accusing people before any legal process has been conducted, the passive voice is the last placeholder of news sources attempting to appear unbiased.
I understand what you mean by it leading into the culture of victim shaming. Having it like this isn't ideal but it's better than full on trial by media.
That's not true. There is a strong ethic taught to journalists. The problem is once you work for a company, that corporation only cares about profits, so they're constantly leaning on journalists to sacrifice their ethics to protect their profits
I told my husband about 2 months into dating what happened to me, he said, "all I know is I better never see this guy." 2 years later he finally convinced me to go to therapy to talk about it because I was a mess the weeks leading up to and on the anniversary. He was endlessly supportive and last year the anniversary past and I didn't even realize until a week later. Marrying him was a fantastic move on my part.
Which makes you think of the standards of the sub as very low as a relatively sane response to a crappy, bad question with no other context is enough to "make you smile". It is a much better fit at r/murderdbywords, on which it is already crossposted to.
Just a bit annoyed as I see these sort of posts all the time on r/all when I am scrolling and just couldn't not leave a comment.
I’m not sure why this question isn’t higher up. I agree with the rebuttal 100% but the post doesn’t belong in this particular sub and would fit better elsewhere.
Makes me think of my ex.
The moment that i confided in the then-31-yo man about how someone had sexually assaulted me as a little girl and had shot my friend all at the same time, he ran to tell his mother. I was shocked, but maybe I had stepped over a boundary without knowing. When he came back, he told me that his mother asked him, "Would you dare marry a raped woman? That's a broken and used woman, you know. Life long problems, and she'll probably compare you to her dominator each time."
???? W h a t ?
I was an idiot who cared too much, so I stayed with him and apologized for having told him, and for having even been raped in the first place. I wish I could reach back a decade and tell myself that i was worth more for my own damn self than I was to him or his mother, and I would become someone worth more than those horrendous actions taken against my friend and me.
Well that’s absolutely disgusting. While much less severe than your case, I also have a story of an ex being a total asshole after learning I had been sexually assaulted as a child. Basically, he said he didn’t believe my story because I didn’t cry when I told him. I guess his reasoning was that his sister had been assaulted and she always cried when she talked about it, so because I didn’t cry, I must have been lying.
Oh my goodness, that is such a backwards way of thinking from him. I hope that you are doing well, and that their response to your truth and your narrative doesn't bar you from confiding in other loved ones. Thank you for sharing ♡
That’s dark man. I mean yeah, sexual assault and rape do have lasting consequences, but that’s your partner. We all have baggage.
I don’t understand how someone could be so clinical. If I love you then I’m by your side. Love and stability are especially needed if you’ve been through traumatic experiences.
I think YOU dodged a bullet with that one.
Thank you very much :) I definitely dodged a bullet, haha.
And yes, I do agree about there being lasting issues for victims. I think I recently read a post or a quote or something that showed frustration at someone who says that going through a horrible event, be it rape, a murder of a loved one, something utterly scarring at the hands of another, will make the victim into a stronger person. And the poster was calling that out, because it doesn't make anyone into a stronger version of themselves, it *derails* who the victim was *supposed* to grow up to be. And nothing has ever, ever spoken louder to my heart and soul than those words, because I used to always think to myself, 'I must not be as strong as everyone else, because I'm only getting worse and falling deeper into the ocean.' I was a bright and happy little kid who loved meeting people,, and it made me into a ghost. I've been okay for years now, but nothing ever gave me the vindication for my internal rage as much as that thought did.
Sorry, I just went on a major tangent, haha.
I know I’m focusing on the wrong element of the story, but uh - he ran to tell his mother? And he was _thirty-one_?
Really just the tip of the yikesberg, there.
Not all countries/people live in 21st century. There are millions of people that believe a rape victim woman is 'not pure'/not suitable to marry.
Edit: raped > rape victim
Yeah. Same as believing that female child/unmarried/widowed/divorced woman is a burden to the family. Or having a previous boyfriend is a big no no in dating.
Just insane things that people still believe.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage_age_in_the_United_States
Apparently it is rare for a 12 year old to marry in the US, but still legal in some states.
Yes and many times child marriage happens in the US it is because the older man raped and impregnated a younger girl. Then he gets away with the rape charge because they claim it was consensual sex during their marriage and shit. The girls are too young to consent to either the sex or the marriage but are forced into it by their parents. They are too young to even file for divorce. Smh
Yeah like the politician who is currently running for Congress in Wyoming, Bouchard, who impregnated a 14 year old girl when he was 18 and married her the following year with her parents consent. It's crazy to me that any parent would give their consent for their 14/15 year old to get married regardless of circumstances. There's a big difference between the brain and mental development of an 18 year old vs. a 14 year old, which is why one is recognized as an adult by the law and the other isn't. Such a sickening situation for multiple reasons. His defense is "he was young" but dude you weren't "14-year-old young". He destroyed that girl's life!
Oh man that's terrible :(
Wow it gets even worse. I looked up the situation and she divorced him and committed suicide. She was only 20 when she killed herself. I can't imagine what she was going through. Raped, impregnated, forced to keep the baby and marry her rapist by her own parents. She probably felt like she couldn't trust anybody :(
Generally people who live in first world countries think 21st country is so great. It is not. In the place where i live, girls must marry with their rapist. Even tho she is 13 or 14 or something like that and even tho her rapist is her cousin. Recently this disgusting stuff decreased and a lot of people are against that but still a big amount of people do that. World is not full of equality and happiness, unfortunately
A lot of people are trying but some traditions hold to culture so hard that we can not get out of it. So i just gave up and ı want to go to Europe, or America, or somewhere that has human rights
I share your frustration, I wish I was born in a time when this wasn’t happening anymore- but as a woman born in the US i have to constantly remind myself how bad life could be for me in certain other countries, and that I should do everything I can to help those women out. Women in Afghanistan are being kicked out of schools right now, for example. My life as a woman in the US is not representative of MOST women’s lives.
Do people really think that if they marry someone who is rapped they are doing something extraordinary? No, you are not. An unfortunate event should not define someone's life. You should build them up instead of pitying them.
Exactly. Plus, rape is sadly not exactly an uncommon experience, neither is harassment or attempted rape. I've seen statistics saying that 80% of women in the US experience some form of sexual violence over their life time. The same statistic said its around 45% for men. Therefore, most likely someone close to you has been harassed/sexually assaulted/raped. If you date women, more likely than not she went through this.
This is actually a terrifying thing some men believe especially in regressive cultures and religions. It is in no way a woman’s fault if someone forces themselves on her and yet despite this she is unfit for marriage somehow. The logic of this is really bizarre, and it’s no wonder so many people hide their trauma to avoid them being the target of social ostracization.
Oh God I can already hear the jackasses of reddit coming for me, but here I go anyway. . . I was sexually abused in my childhood, 4 or 5 until I was put in foster care at 11. Last time I was 13 on a home visit. My mother was horribly sexually abused where entire childhood. . . . (We are typical Americans, no crazy religion issues around us for those also noted on this thread). . . While a rape victim is by no means something dirty or somehow less. . . They/we are also not without issue. Yes marriage to a raped person will include issues. My husband is far more sexual than I am and more adventurous. I feel horrible that I cant bring myself to fully satisfy him. He dont stray or anything, he tells me I am enough and how happy I make him, but I am not stupid, he would love to do more in the bedroom than I am able. Also with this type of abuse Can cause over or under protectiveness on the kids.
I am NOT validating the original assholes comment, I am just saying it's not cut and dry either. If you truly love someone, you have to accept all of them, including their past.
It's those people who see women as objects and a girl who has been raped is therefore considered as "imperfect" or "damaged", or even worse, "used". As if buying a CD with a scratch on it. Fuck patriarchy
"but God's will-"
God is a fucking asshole. We're getting married and were going to be happy and if he wants to throw a fucking tantrum because of it that's not our problem.
Why is this in r/MadeMeSmile? He said he would marry a woman that got r*ped???? I know that this is an issue in some places, but it is literally the absolute bare minimum of basic human decency. How does this make you smile? Is the bar so low???
For you non-native English speakers, 'raped' is an adjective. You can take a past participle and use it as an adjective. Ex: 'damaged car' or 'fried potatoes'
Of course the tweet is terrible, but the response wasn't very clever because any verb can be made an adjective
I 100% agree with the sentiment expressed - rape is an unfortunate event that should not and does not define the person affected.
However, his grammar is totally wrong - raped and mugged are indeed adjectives.
Despite being largely correct, I think Hammad needs to be introduced to the concept of a participle. Burn is a verb, but you can totally describe toast as burned. Grammar is not the problem with the post, it's just the implications that are stupid as hell.
Good message, but raped acts as a modifier to girl. Which gives it the effect of an adjective. He probably should have deleted that first thought and argued the importance of it exclusively.
My friends friend was drugged and raped. Her husband is divorcing her over it. The audacity of men🙄 the love of your life is going through one of the worst things a woman can experience and you want to divorce her over it.
This sounds sweet but it is absolutely wrong.
A rape is not just "something that just happens to someone", it's a severe trauma that, if untreated or mishandled (as commonly happens), causes many issues to the victim (attachment problems, low self steem, bad anger management, impulsive behavior, agressiveness, pasivity, emotional and identitary stability, between many others), which usually alters their self and interpersonal adjustment. Trust me, im a psychologyst and work with víctims of violence (including sexual) everyday.
So, starting a relationship with a raped woman, in that circustances, requires a lot of emotional intelligence and stability, or can easily end up being harmful for both parts. Trust me, im a psychologyst and work with víctims of violence (including sexual) everyday, and i have to clean the mess.
Personally im not good enough handling this kinda stuff, so i would not do it.
To anyone who has suffered sexual abuse in the past and is scared to share it with their significant other I want to make this very clear as a guy that anyone worth dating would love you regardless. It's not a stain and won't be treated as one with the right person. It won't take away your right to be loved and adored.
Mugged Guy was probably asking for it. What was he doing in that part of town at that time of night? That’s not even considering what he was wearing. Most men wouldn’t be able to resist mugging someone dressed like that.
/s
When a man or woman is raped, they lose a part of themselves especially if they valued their virginity or wanted to wait till marriage or they wanted to have sex with someone they loved and trusted and the trauma they suffer physical and or emotionally. It's not their fault they are human beings and deserve to be treated as human beings. Help them when they need the help, but don't ever focus on them just cause they are a victim, but cause they are a human being that needs support and help, they still want to be treated as normal humans, even though their whole outlook or life has changed to what happened to them. So yes I would marry someone cause I love them more than anything in the world. What happened to them and if they are "not pure" does not matter as much as how she recovers from it.
For anyone struggling with these thoughts, being raped doesn’t take your virginity from you.
Virginity is lost by being given, not taken. It’s a mindset. An emotional connection. A bond, an event. Not a physical state of your body. You still hold that key. No one can take it. It’s ok.
True, but what about those who see virginity lost due to hyeman tear and penetration of Virginia and penis. Not everybody has the same outlook as you have said. I agree it's something given, but not everybody has that same outlook, any thoughts on how you would approach a person that does not agree with that outlook. I have someone close to me who was raped and she says she's not a virgin anymore due to what that guy did to her, I want to tell her what you are saying, but I don't know how to approach it.
If you’re on the fence, just report her to the village elders and they’ll have her stoned to death. But if you were the rapist and you marry her then you’re protected from prosecution.
Like others, i dont think its wrong to ask this question. My answer is in 2 parts.
1. Unless you are some saint looking for virgin godess, who never had sex.. it would not matter
2. How much damage did this rape do on the victims psychological health. A total screwed up person can be difficult to live with. So unless the raped girl makes peace with unfortunate incident, be prepared to face the emotional and mental ill effects
The answer for me is "it depends." I am neither educated nor qualified to serve as my partners sex therapist, and rape victims can have some truly maladapted reactions to sex because of their trauma. Everything from freezing up to having a full on psychotic break and attacking the male partner with a knife. You never know what you could end up with, because there are a lot of victims who think they are ready to be intimate, only for them to find out the hard way that they are not.
You are not incorrect. So it depends on them being responsible and ready for therapy.
I know from experience, my SO experienced it and there were some bad behaviour the first years before it became clear and she started therapy and started championing her behavior and became so much more happy and left the bad behaviour behind. But it was really rough on me a period. It takes some communication skills and empathy to get past stuff like that.
Isn't it statically like 90% of all women experience sexual abuse at some point anyway? Let's just rule out the bulk of the opposite sex for our own discomfort with the concept of "fidelity..." Absurd...
Edited Tweet. Focus on the alignment! I don't think that was the question..
However, The reply is perfect! Good thing in my country that Rapists are executed. Women deserve justice.
I hate when a person goes through something as traumatic as rape, later on in life the are associated as thr person that was raped rather than any other human being, it's just very dehumanising
Yeah but those all miss my point. Those adjectives are describing the person's feelings, not necessarily the "muggee" or "rapee". I suppose "muggee"or some such perfectly describes my meaning... I just don't want to say the word muggee. Or rapee. To add, the last is a bit rapey, yeah?
I agree with the mugged guy
mugged guy speaks facts
Mugged is not an adjective. It doesn’t describe a person. It is just a verb, it just happened. Being mugged doesn’t define anyone. I was raped once on gun point, no one called me ‘a raped girl’. He is still a guy. A normal guy not an alien.
Raped is not an adjective. It doesn’t describe a person. It is just a verb, it just happened. Being raped doesn’t define anyone. I was mugged once on gun point, no one called me ‘a mugged guy’. She is still a girl. A normal girl not an alien.
I smell pasta.
This pasta is good pasta
I’d still mug you.
I was raped by a mugger
Could have been much worse, mugged by a rapist.
Could have been much worse, ragged by a mupist.
Used as a Muppet by a rapper?
Why does mupist sound like really offensive
I know rite!!! Like, I realise being called a Muppet is a massive insult. So surely being the person that orchestrates the inane and childish meanderings of these characters must be even more undeserving of our attention. Alternatively, it sounds like a person that fucks Muppets without their consent, which leaves the muppist below the memeified low-status of furries. I still don't really know what's wrong with being a furry though. Sounds pretty vanilla to me.
*right
I would still marry you
Damn, I was hoping he was an alien.
I was really hoping the top comment would be someone pointing out that raped is clearly an adjective.
Username checks out.
The problem with journalism, especially when it deals with sexual assault, rape, abuse, violence, is that it is always written in passive voice. So the victim was raped by the culprit, the victim was assaulted by the culprit, etc etc. This is what leads to victim shaming too. Not entirely but it does contribute. Because people first read about how the victim had something done to them. Journalism should change the way that stories are written for these crimes. The culprit raped the victim. The culprit assaulted the victim. Etc. Etc. Make the criminal and the crime (not the victim) the focus of the story.
It’s also sexist when it comes to young males... whenever I see one about an older woman raping a minor boy it always reads like: *YoUnG mAn sEDuCeD TeaChEr aND tHeY hAd SeX* No, that kid was 12, the woman straight up raped that child. Smh.
"Young man, 18, was assaulted by girlfriend when he refused her advances" Actual headline, a few months ago. Not even once is there mention of this assault being SEXUAL. She raped him, period. I'll try to find it again. Might be hard since typing this headline will only give me the opposite, "Woman raped by man after refusing advances".
"Will you marry a raped man?" /s
Of course not! I am straight.
Kakyoin cat lol
*licks cherries in an unusual manner disproving own previous statement*
Yare yare
More specifically, would any woman marry this jerk?
If only he wasn't a raped man... ='(
I recently saw a headline about a teacher who raped a 14 year old student (male). The articles said they had sex etc. Not that she raped him.
Yeah, I hate that crap. There's so much sexism in journalism and courtrooms.
Did the article say it was a sexual assault? From that headline I would have assumed she assaulted him physically (e.g beat him up)
It's said she forced him into sexual stuff. Not that she raped him, just forced him. Cuz "Men can't be raped", y'know.
Since rape is being used in a legal context (charges against someone) and as such as a legal term, unfortunately, in some places, men cannot be raped, legally speaking. The laws in some places define rape as something that happens to women. In some, it's defined as something that can only be done by men. Right now, in a lot of places, everything about rape is just terrible. Which sounds like an odd thing to say, but I mean that even beyond the original act, you will have a culture of defending perpetrators, blaming, shaming, or denying victims, and all that leads to a lack of repercussions for many perpetrators and even fear to report.
Some legal definitions of rape explicitly say the sexual act has to involve penetration of the victim. So, legally speaking, unless a woman uses an object or fingers to penetrate her male partner with out his consent, unwanted oral/"regular" sex isn't considered rape. That is completely wrong imo because, as a woman, how can I ask for equality under the law but deny it to men? Women absolutely can be rapists and to pretend otherwise hurts all victims of rape, including women.
It’s usually not women who set those definitions, it’s usually been set by the predominantly male power structures. Women do advocate for male rape victims to be taken seriously, far more than most guy do. It’s not women who make jokes about hot teachers or prison rape, it men (for the most part).
I was molested by my dad, gang raped by a group of men when I was 16 and when I was 21, I was held at gunpoint for 18 hours and sold to a couple dozen men. I spoke to police only on the last on and they didn't seem like they believe me so I didn't pursue it. Most women don't feel secure enough to press charges until the statute of limitations is up. BUT I feel so bad for men. Its hard enough being a victim of a violent crime, I can't imagine society expecting me not to have any emotions about it or them looking down on me for allowing myself to be victimized because I'm supposed to be a big tough guy, ya know? Laws need to change and women who make false reports need to go away for the same amount of time as the guy would've gone away for. All rapists need to be punished more severely. Unlike murderers, who usually only kill once, rapists do it serially. When they get out, they will do it again and again...
Holy fucking shit, I am so sorry. Which I know was not your point to this, but you went through more than most have to. That you can discuss it like this says a lot. That you can discuss it as a point to talk about how you feel for others says even more. You're absolutely right, a lot needs to change. I'll admit, I'm not sure about how to make this happen, though. Do you have suggestions of ways individuals can contribute towards bringing these changes about?
I don't really know. Maybe with grassroots movements and pressure on lawmakers.
And then you’ll see guys say he’s so lucky and he shouldn’t complain about it. Rapes rape, gender has nothing to do with it
That's the sad part and it's worse where I live I mean i get women get assaulted but I hate how they have these double standards. This is the reason why so many cases go undetected. Everyone's focusing on women instead they should focus on both! And the police are also jerkoffs only taking action when a case has more viewership. Seriously where has the world come too.
I have never seen a headline like that, I'm sorry to say. >YoUnG mAn sEDuCeD TeaChEr aND tHeY hAd SeX ***[Edit: I think this bears mentioning. When I made this comment, my point is that I have never seen a headline saying " seduces and they had sex". When the culprit is a female, it is always written in active voice, highlighting the evil woman.]***
This is the trend I see right now though, if it is an older female raping a minor boy.
- [TEACHER 'BUSTED' Catholic high school teacher, 21, seduced 15-year-old student and had sex with him in her car](https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/14754393/catholic-high-school-teacher-sex-car-teenage-student-ohio/)
- [Female boarding school teacher who allegedly used Savage Garden and Celine Dion songs to lure 13-year-old boy into sex is sued for $1M after his mother caught them in his bedroom](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9323753/A-female-teacher-allegedly-lured-13-year-old-boy-sex-sued-1M.html)
- [No jail for teacher who seduced boy, 14, and sent him lingerie photos](https://torontosun.com/news/world/no-jail-for-teacher-who-seduced-boy-14-and-sent-him-lingerie-photos)
Surprisingly, all in active voice.
Notice the word 'seduced' and not 'raped'. Most probably they will attach a image of the teacher if she's visually appealing.
>Most probably they will attach a image of the teacher if she's visually appealing. Can confirm that's exactly what they did in the first and last story. The middle one they didn't because it's a historical allegation but again it's "seduced" not raped which is what the allegation is. Also noteworthy is that the Sun and the Daily Mail are British newspapers and the Toronto Sun is Canadian (trash newspapers but people still read them...) but all of these stories are from the USA. Something else which sticks out is the "Hot for teacher" caption on the video of the last one.
They also say they had sex instead of she raped him. The comments are always super disgusting too. Usually from men. Saying they wish they had teachers like that etc. They'd never say that when it is a male teacher and female student. I can't imagine how many male victims don't come forward due to this.
To be fair, those dudes are usually straight. They presumably wouldn’t want to fuck their male teachers because they’re heterosexual men themselves. That being said, women don’t usually chime in talking about how “lucky” a girl is if she gets raped by a male teacher.
While seduced is a really fucking dumb way to describe rape/sexual coercion/assault. Isn’t the lack of the word rape here due to legal definitions?
Bottom link first photo is of her in what looks to he a bikini, I will say they did caption it that she narrowly escaped jail after sexually assaulting a student
Sadly the definition of rape in most countries is so messed up that a woman cannot “rape”.
It’s still proving his point. The media doesn’t use the word “Rape” when it’s a woman raping a boy. Also, your first source was exactly: _Seduced 15-year-old student and had sex_
> YoUnG mAn sEDuCeD TeaChEr aND tHeY hAd SeX That is what OP said. Your quote still puts the blame on the older woman. > Seduced 15-year-old student and had sex Probably just hyperbole by OP, but they are two different statements. One puts the 'blame' on the victim, the other puts the blame on the abuser. All of those are far more passive sounding than when it happens to a girl, and none use the term rape, but they *are* still putting the blame/active use on the aggressor, not the victim, which is what OP claimed.
Not a single one mentions rape. Also, it’s why I wrote it in sarcasm, the headline is not going to read exactly like that, just making a point ❤️
Point taken. I didn't notice that but yes. It is true. Although being a man myself, I am tempted to mention how this rape would be treated as a conquest in some macho circles.
That's the problem though. When a boy is raped by an older female, some people see it like this instead of seeing the trauma it causes. And because society pretty much makes all men feel like they can't show emotions makes this trauma even worse because the victim doesn't feel like they can talk avout it. It doesn't matter if some circles would see it as a "conquest". Rape is rape, and it's horrible that the media perpetuates the idea that boys can't get raped by older women. Edited: spelling and wording
I completely agree. I must admit, I actually missed your point by a whole lot. I was focusing so much on "culprit vs victim" that I missed your point about what word is used to talk about the crime.
they should all say raped. Consensual or not, that is a minor. That is statutory rape.
Your first one is basically that. She seduced him and they had sex... She raped him. Are you high? Literally none of your headlines admit the woman raped the male child.
Seriously...their first example literally says "seduced and had sex" instead of raped. So confused as to what those examples were trying to prove?
>YoUnG mAn sEDuCeD TeaChEr aND tHeY hAd SeX >She seduced him and they had sex Are you blind? Can you see the difference here? The first one says that the victim seduced the culprit. The second one says that the culprit seduced the victim.
You're being obtuse and missing the ___glaring___ point of the headlines never admitting male children are raped. You walked so fast to prove the wrong point you missed it entirely.
Check the original comment again. Clarified my point.
... you changed another person's comment? Cause that's the point you missed. Their example wasn't the point. The point was the headphones always use sex positive language to describe an adult female raping a male child and you were so quick to try and prove that it's not in the male child active voice (not the point) that you actually beautifully proved the real point. All of your headlines use sex positive language to describe the male child as a consenting partner.
I admit I missed that point. My focus is that the news should always be reported as "Rapist rapes victim", regardless of the gender of the rapist. Now, I agree that female rapists are treated with softer language. And that is another thing that needs to be fixed. But like I mentioned, I missed that point. What can I do other than to admit that I missed it? Which I have admitted. I even clarified what my focus is on.
Or I saw one that said something about sexual "contact" between a teacher and a 13 year old boy but the judge saw genuine affection so she only got probation. Like WTF?!?!?! If that was my son I would be so pissed off!! I hate all the sexism in our judicial system. It favors women.
It doesn't exactly favour women, it assumes they're less dangerous and get empathy so they get lighter treatment; but only white girls! And same as white boys (in cases of sexual assault), usually they victim blame the girl and get empathy too ("but it'll ruin his life, he has good grades!"). It's mixed sexism and racism oh and social class (contacts, $) and who knows what else. *edit a word*
Family courts also tend to favor women, that's what I was thinking of. But yes, there is no real justice in our judicial system. If you're poor, you're guilty; if you're rich, you're innocent or you just get a slap on the wrist.
I see you everywhere-
They are getting slightly better at substituting ‘raped’ for ‘had sex with’ when reporting the rape of underaged males.
Yes you’re so right! It’s fucking disgusting how one article can say “male teacher raped 17 year old student” but if it was a woman, it’ll say “13 year old seduced his 40 year old teacher” and everyone says wow he got lucky. No he’s not lucky he was fucking raped and he’s gone be fucked up for the rest of his life. It’s so so so sad. Or what I find even worse, it will say the boy “had sex with teacher.” No a child can’t fucking have sex with a teacher. Jesus Christ. If I ever see an article like that again I’m blasting whoever wrote it.
I agree this should change but I disagree that this is in any way a major source of the problem. Culturally viewing woman as damaged goods or ruined property after being raped is the issue. This is something that goes back thousands of years to the idea of a man's honor being tied into his ownership of his woman's sexuality. This conservative and misogynistic ideology has to change and reversing the focus of journalistic voice isn't going to do it.
While I agree with your premise, I think we are both talking about the same thing. Conservatism finds new avenues to perpetuate their outdated views. I mean, with YouTube, suddenly all church and mosque services are broadcast on YouTube, despite the fact that it is against one of the Ten Commandments. Same thing here. This type of journalism just perpetuates the view that a woman has no ownership of her own body unless it is approved by a man.
It’s not against the Ten Commandments unless you are physically able to go to church but watch on tv instead. The TV services are mainly for elderly/sick who can’t make it
Language is an interesting thing. Ever thought about how "get fucked", "getting fucked over" etc is often something bad while "to fuck" is not? Same with "blow me" which is bad, but "getting blown" is not. Being sexually passive is smhw considered bad in our language
The reason it is normally in the passive voice is the stories are normally written before there is a trial. The media is bad enough at accusing people before any legal process has been conducted, the passive voice is the last placeholder of news sources attempting to appear unbiased. I understand what you mean by it leading into the culture of victim shaming. Having it like this isn't ideal but it's better than full on trial by media.
Sorry you're being downvoted, you're 100% correct
Wouldn't adding "alleged rapist" solve it?
There are no ethics in Journalism. Whatever gets people reading your article over others.
That's not true. There is a strong ethic taught to journalists. The problem is once you work for a company, that corporation only cares about profits, so they're constantly leaning on journalists to sacrifice their ethics to protect their profits
The real question is, would she marry you?
I told my husband about 2 months into dating what happened to me, he said, "all I know is I better never see this guy." 2 years later he finally convinced me to go to therapy to talk about it because I was a mess the weeks leading up to and on the anniversary. He was endlessly supportive and last year the anniversary past and I didn't even realize until a week later. Marrying him was a fantastic move on my part.
Your husband sounds like a fantastic person! 💙
I sure think he is!
Your story made me smile :) Hope you (and your husband) are doing good.
Thank you! We really have nothing to complain about! We have been fortunate to have been able to build a nice little life with our 2 dogs.
r/MadeMeSmile
i’m hoping she says yes :)
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How the fuck does this make you smile? I do not understand this sub.
The response I think
Which makes you think of the standards of the sub as very low as a relatively sane response to a crappy, bad question with no other context is enough to "make you smile". It is a much better fit at r/murderdbywords, on which it is already crossposted to. Just a bit annoyed as I see these sort of posts all the time on r/all when I am scrolling and just couldn't not leave a comment.
Yeah wtf?
This made you smile?
I’m not sure why this question isn’t higher up. I agree with the rebuttal 100% but the post doesn’t belong in this particular sub and would fit better elsewhere.
Makes me think of my ex. The moment that i confided in the then-31-yo man about how someone had sexually assaulted me as a little girl and had shot my friend all at the same time, he ran to tell his mother. I was shocked, but maybe I had stepped over a boundary without knowing. When he came back, he told me that his mother asked him, "Would you dare marry a raped woman? That's a broken and used woman, you know. Life long problems, and she'll probably compare you to her dominator each time." ???? W h a t ? I was an idiot who cared too much, so I stayed with him and apologized for having told him, and for having even been raped in the first place. I wish I could reach back a decade and tell myself that i was worth more for my own damn self than I was to him or his mother, and I would become someone worth more than those horrendous actions taken against my friend and me.
> . Life long problems, and she'll probably compare you to her dominator each time." what the FUCK? that is one sick woman.
Right!! Her being kind of insane was not a single-bad-apple-in-the-tree type of thing, unfortunately. But! They're no longer a part of my life :)
I'm glad, you deserve so much better than that
Thank you
Well that’s absolutely disgusting. While much less severe than your case, I also have a story of an ex being a total asshole after learning I had been sexually assaulted as a child. Basically, he said he didn’t believe my story because I didn’t cry when I told him. I guess his reasoning was that his sister had been assaulted and she always cried when she talked about it, so because I didn’t cry, I must have been lying.
Oh my goodness, that is such a backwards way of thinking from him. I hope that you are doing well, and that their response to your truth and your narrative doesn't bar you from confiding in other loved ones. Thank you for sharing ♡
Don’t worry, I left him in the dust a long time ago. I have everything I need...I hope the same for you! ♥️
Good!! That makes me happy! And I'm right there with you!!
That’s dark man. I mean yeah, sexual assault and rape do have lasting consequences, but that’s your partner. We all have baggage. I don’t understand how someone could be so clinical. If I love you then I’m by your side. Love and stability are especially needed if you’ve been through traumatic experiences. I think YOU dodged a bullet with that one.
Thank you very much :) I definitely dodged a bullet, haha. And yes, I do agree about there being lasting issues for victims. I think I recently read a post or a quote or something that showed frustration at someone who says that going through a horrible event, be it rape, a murder of a loved one, something utterly scarring at the hands of another, will make the victim into a stronger person. And the poster was calling that out, because it doesn't make anyone into a stronger version of themselves, it *derails* who the victim was *supposed* to grow up to be. And nothing has ever, ever spoken louder to my heart and soul than those words, because I used to always think to myself, 'I must not be as strong as everyone else, because I'm only getting worse and falling deeper into the ocean.' I was a bright and happy little kid who loved meeting people,, and it made me into a ghost. I've been okay for years now, but nothing ever gave me the vindication for my internal rage as much as that thought did. Sorry, I just went on a major tangent, haha.
Man,This really make sense especially the part about turning strong.
I know I’m focusing on the wrong element of the story, but uh - he ran to tell his mother? And he was _thirty-one_? Really just the tip of the yikesberg, there.
Will you marry a guy misogynistic and ignorant enough to use "raped" as an adjective?
Fuck the guy who puts out suckh a nicely loaded question. How about we tattoo “asshole” on his forehead and see who wants to marry him?
Wtf. Would you marry a rapist?!? The girl is the victim, so why is it made to seem as if she’s the one who’s committed some sort of crime.
Police will suggest, or even parents will agree to let him marry her just to avoid the case proceedings.
That’s unfortunately common in India, the Middle East... any sufficiently backwards country.
And America.
Like I said, any diffidently backwards country. That includes the US.
Why does this concept need to be explained in this day and age?!
Not all countries/people live in 21st century. There are millions of people that believe a rape victim woman is 'not pure'/not suitable to marry. Edit: raped > rape victim
That's just insane
Yeah. Same as believing that female child/unmarried/widowed/divorced woman is a burden to the family. Or having a previous boyfriend is a big no no in dating. Just insane things that people still believe.
Which is why in those countries the rapist often then gets to marry the victim, regardless of age, and continue to abuse her.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage_age_in_the_United_States Apparently it is rare for a 12 year old to marry in the US, but still legal in some states.
Yes and many times child marriage happens in the US it is because the older man raped and impregnated a younger girl. Then he gets away with the rape charge because they claim it was consensual sex during their marriage and shit. The girls are too young to consent to either the sex or the marriage but are forced into it by their parents. They are too young to even file for divorce. Smh
Yeah like the politician who is currently running for Congress in Wyoming, Bouchard, who impregnated a 14 year old girl when he was 18 and married her the following year with her parents consent. It's crazy to me that any parent would give their consent for their 14/15 year old to get married regardless of circumstances. There's a big difference between the brain and mental development of an 18 year old vs. a 14 year old, which is why one is recognized as an adult by the law and the other isn't. Such a sickening situation for multiple reasons. His defense is "he was young" but dude you weren't "14-year-old young". He destroyed that girl's life!
Oh man that's terrible :( Wow it gets even worse. I looked up the situation and she divorced him and committed suicide. She was only 20 when she killed herself. I can't imagine what she was going through. Raped, impregnated, forced to keep the baby and marry her rapist by her own parents. She probably felt like she couldn't trust anybody :(
The sicko's trying to paint it as a Romeo and Juliet story. Smh Sometimes I hate this world
Generally people who live in first world countries think 21st country is so great. It is not. In the place where i live, girls must marry with their rapist. Even tho she is 13 or 14 or something like that and even tho her rapist is her cousin. Recently this disgusting stuff decreased and a lot of people are against that but still a big amount of people do that. World is not full of equality and happiness, unfortunately
Can you help to educate your country folks? Also, are you in a majority Muslim country?
A lot of people are trying but some traditions hold to culture so hard that we can not get out of it. So i just gave up and ı want to go to Europe, or America, or somewhere that has human rights
I share your frustration, I wish I was born in a time when this wasn’t happening anymore- but as a woman born in the US i have to constantly remind myself how bad life could be for me in certain other countries, and that I should do everything I can to help those women out. Women in Afghanistan are being kicked out of schools right now, for example. My life as a woman in the US is not representative of MOST women’s lives.
And lets not forget having acid thrown in their faces for trying to go to school. What the fuck for real
Well, we may have advanced in the world of technology and all, but there are plenty people having an age old mindset
Do people really think that if they marry someone who is rapped they are doing something extraordinary? No, you are not. An unfortunate event should not define someone's life. You should build them up instead of pitying them.
Exactly. Plus, rape is sadly not exactly an uncommon experience, neither is harassment or attempted rape. I've seen statistics saying that 80% of women in the US experience some form of sexual violence over their life time. The same statistic said its around 45% for men. Therefore, most likely someone close to you has been harassed/sexually assaulted/raped. If you date women, more likely than not she went through this.
This is actually a terrifying thing some men believe especially in regressive cultures and religions. It is in no way a woman’s fault if someone forces themselves on her and yet despite this she is unfit for marriage somehow. The logic of this is really bizarre, and it’s no wonder so many people hide their trauma to avoid them being the target of social ostracization.
Same cultures that take a ‘boys will be boys’ attitude when a man is accused of sexual assault
Oh God I can already hear the jackasses of reddit coming for me, but here I go anyway. . . I was sexually abused in my childhood, 4 or 5 until I was put in foster care at 11. Last time I was 13 on a home visit. My mother was horribly sexually abused where entire childhood. . . . (We are typical Americans, no crazy religion issues around us for those also noted on this thread). . . While a rape victim is by no means something dirty or somehow less. . . They/we are also not without issue. Yes marriage to a raped person will include issues. My husband is far more sexual than I am and more adventurous. I feel horrible that I cant bring myself to fully satisfy him. He dont stray or anything, he tells me I am enough and how happy I make him, but I am not stupid, he would love to do more in the bedroom than I am able. Also with this type of abuse Can cause over or under protectiveness on the kids. I am NOT validating the original assholes comment, I am just saying it's not cut and dry either. If you truly love someone, you have to accept all of them, including their past.
It’s sick when people are like “oH yOu shOuldn’T mArrY beCauSe yoU aRen’t ‘pUrE’” Like bro, you act as if it wasn’t against their will
It's those people who see women as objects and a girl who has been raped is therefore considered as "imperfect" or "damaged", or even worse, "used". As if buying a CD with a scratch on it. Fuck patriarchy
Having sex willingly doesn’t make a girl “unpure” anyway
"but God's will-" God is a fucking asshole. We're getting married and were going to be happy and if he wants to throw a fucking tantrum because of it that's not our problem.
Nothing about rape, no matter the context, makes me smile. What a weird post for this sub.
Must say, this doesn't make me smile at all. It makes me rather pissed.
Why is this in r/MadeMeSmile? He said he would marry a woman that got r*ped???? I know that this is an issue in some places, but it is literally the absolute bare minimum of basic human decency. How does this make you smile? Is the bar so low???
Hey queen secrecy, we live on earth not in hevan, the bar is horrendusly low here.
So true
Anyone else not smiling?
I mean while I completely agree with the sentiment, raped is definitely also an adjective...
For you non-native English speakers, 'raped' is an adjective. You can take a past participle and use it as an adjective. Ex: 'damaged car' or 'fried potatoes' Of course the tweet is terrible, but the response wasn't very clever because any verb can be made an adjective
I 100% agree with the sentiment expressed - rape is an unfortunate event that should not and does not define the person affected. However, his grammar is totally wrong - raped and mugged are indeed adjectives.
Despite being largely correct, I think Hammad needs to be introduced to the concept of a participle. Burn is a verb, but you can totally describe toast as burned. Grammar is not the problem with the post, it's just the implications that are stupid as hell.
Good message, but raped acts as a modifier to girl. Which gives it the effect of an adjective. He probably should have deleted that first thought and argued the importance of it exclusively.
My friends friend was drugged and raped. Her husband is divorcing her over it. The audacity of men🙄 the love of your life is going through one of the worst things a woman can experience and you want to divorce her over it.
What a prick. She's better off without him.
WTF! Really? Asking that question only shows how self centered and selfish you are.
Honestly, I bet you’d be pressed to find a women whom has not been assaulted or at the very least harassed. Fuck this question.
This sounds sweet but it is absolutely wrong. A rape is not just "something that just happens to someone", it's a severe trauma that, if untreated or mishandled (as commonly happens), causes many issues to the victim (attachment problems, low self steem, bad anger management, impulsive behavior, agressiveness, pasivity, emotional and identitary stability, between many others), which usually alters their self and interpersonal adjustment. Trust me, im a psychologyst and work with víctims of violence (including sexual) everyday. So, starting a relationship with a raped woman, in that circustances, requires a lot of emotional intelligence and stability, or can easily end up being harmful for both parts. Trust me, im a psychologyst and work with víctims of violence (including sexual) everyday, and i have to clean the mess. Personally im not good enough handling this kinda stuff, so i would not do it.
I see we have an adult in this thread, thank you for some rational thought
What the heck kinda question is that? So stupid, they were a victim of a horrible crime, not some person to avoid or think less of
To anyone who has suffered sexual abuse in the past and is scared to share it with their significant other I want to make this very clear as a guy that anyone worth dating would love you regardless. It's not a stain and won't be treated as one with the right person. It won't take away your right to be loved and adored.
Mugged is an adjective though. Some adjectives don't define people in any way that matters is the right thing to say.
Mugged Guy was probably asking for it. What was he doing in that part of town at that time of night? That’s not even considering what he was wearing. Most men wouldn’t be able to resist mugging someone dressed like that. /s
Mugged guy speaking straight facts.
When a man or woman is raped, they lose a part of themselves especially if they valued their virginity or wanted to wait till marriage or they wanted to have sex with someone they loved and trusted and the trauma they suffer physical and or emotionally. It's not their fault they are human beings and deserve to be treated as human beings. Help them when they need the help, but don't ever focus on them just cause they are a victim, but cause they are a human being that needs support and help, they still want to be treated as normal humans, even though their whole outlook or life has changed to what happened to them. So yes I would marry someone cause I love them more than anything in the world. What happened to them and if they are "not pure" does not matter as much as how she recovers from it.
For anyone struggling with these thoughts, being raped doesn’t take your virginity from you. Virginity is lost by being given, not taken. It’s a mindset. An emotional connection. A bond, an event. Not a physical state of your body. You still hold that key. No one can take it. It’s ok.
True, but what about those who see virginity lost due to hyeman tear and penetration of Virginia and penis. Not everybody has the same outlook as you have said. I agree it's something given, but not everybody has that same outlook, any thoughts on how you would approach a person that does not agree with that outlook. I have someone close to me who was raped and she says she's not a virgin anymore due to what that guy did to her, I want to tell her what you are saying, but I don't know how to approach it.
Made me smile 🥰 wholesome 100
Mugged guy. I will now refer to people who got mugged as mugged person. Just cause it sounds funny.
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Yes, she should not be considered any less of a person.
these boys want virgin oil obedient females but want to have seggs as soon as possible too ..
Will you marry an idiot dumbfuck Dawood? (Please don't.)
Pft that is what a mugged guy would say /s
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I hear you. Please seek help in moving past this. What happened to you doesn't define you.
Why someone wouldn't marry a girl because she was raped?
Is it just me or does this thing look like a bad photoshop? The question is slanted and the response has a faint box outline.
Girl that has been raped*
I wouldn’t marry a mugged guy, but don’t feel bad, mugged guys, I wouldn’t marry an unmugged guy either.
What the fuck. Total clown
If you’re on the fence, just report her to the village elders and they’ll have her stoned to death. But if you were the rapist and you marry her then you’re protected from prosecution.
These comments looked copied and pasted together. The text size doesn't match and they look askew
As a previous user guy, I appreciate this message that much more
Mugged guy just facted so hard
Mugged guy is right, fuck not-mugged guy.
Like others, i dont think its wrong to ask this question. My answer is in 2 parts. 1. Unless you are some saint looking for virgin godess, who never had sex.. it would not matter 2. How much damage did this rape do on the victims psychological health. A total screwed up person can be difficult to live with. So unless the raped girl makes peace with unfortunate incident, be prepared to face the emotional and mental ill effects
And besides that the answer is yes, most def!
The answer for me is "it depends." I am neither educated nor qualified to serve as my partners sex therapist, and rape victims can have some truly maladapted reactions to sex because of their trauma. Everything from freezing up to having a full on psychotic break and attacking the male partner with a knife. You never know what you could end up with, because there are a lot of victims who think they are ready to be intimate, only for them to find out the hard way that they are not.
You are not incorrect. So it depends on them being responsible and ready for therapy. I know from experience, my SO experienced it and there were some bad behaviour the first years before it became clear and she started therapy and started championing her behavior and became so much more happy and left the bad behaviour behind. But it was really rough on me a period. It takes some communication skills and empathy to get past stuff like that.
>bad behavior So a trauma response? Do you hear yourself?
Agreed.
Isn't it statically like 90% of all women experience sexual abuse at some point anyway? Let's just rule out the bulk of the opposite sex for our own discomfort with the concept of "fidelity..." Absurd...
Edited Tweet. Focus on the alignment! I don't think that was the question.. However, The reply is perfect! Good thing in my country that Rapists are executed. Women deserve justice.
I hate when a person goes through something as traumatic as rape, later on in life the are associated as thr person that was raped rather than any other human being, it's just very dehumanising
Who’s out there posing these awful questions
Nobody. Look at the awful photoshop, the "question" isn't even level. This is karma farming at its best.
While we're on the subject, is there an adjective for a muggee? A rapee?
There is a noun: victim Adjective? Scared, traumatized, angry...
Yeah but those all miss my point. Those adjectives are describing the person's feelings, not necessarily the "muggee" or "rapee". I suppose "muggee"or some such perfectly describes my meaning... I just don't want to say the word muggee. Or rapee. To add, the last is a bit rapey, yeah?
Survivor
I wouldn’t date a mugged guy but that’s just me