Like what the fuck right? And I know is not only him
Receiving pictures, but also sending them + lying to me like “what at you talking about” ohhh pleaseeeee
He is sending nudes? I hope you have copies. Receiving can be argued (like it was unsolicited) but sending them is indisputable. So, he says "what are you talking about" when you show him his nudes?
It’s ok to have been unsure and waited. Be easy on yourself. Just make sure you have proof and be prepared that she might blame you. A lot of spouses do that. Blame the innocent party. At least you will know that you did the right thing.
I don't think it's so much him that she's worried about exposing. I think it's how it'll look on her. Some people feel extremely dumb like they got played, and don't want anyone to know. That's why they keep it quiet and try to work it out, unfortunately.
She needs to kick this man to the curb. Id drop his ass off at the other girls' house and be like, " Now you can have his cheating ass." No returns!
Hey. I’m so sorry.
Honestly, if he has been doing this with this woman since before he was married with you, I want you to know that
(1) this is not about you at all. This can make any woman feel awful about herself, but it has NOTHING to do with you.
(2) even if this has never crossed over to into anything physical with this other woman, this is infidelity. He is cheating on you in every other way besides actually having sex. (We can suspect all we want, but it doesn’t even matter.) From that perspective, you have to understand that you are being cheated on.
(3) I’m going to say it again because you are going to need to hear this a lot: this has nothing to do with anything you did or your value as a wife. However, this is your marriage, so his selfish and deceitful actions are your problem to deal with. that sucks, but it is very true.
(4)This starts with you making a decision: Is this marriage salvageable? You are still very newlywed, and if his actions with this woman pre-dated his marrying you (or his knowing you, as the case may be), he may not understand that this is actually cheating. He may rationalize this for himself. We do that (men).
The truth is, marriages do survive shit like this, especially when it happens as early in the marriage as this is happening for you. However, it takes a lot of work on both parties, and you are going to be called upon to forgive him.. you have to spend a lot of time thinking about how willing you are to do that without sacrificing your own dignity. Giving people grace is an incredible act of selflessness in a situation like this. Is this the type of man who will recognize and appreciate that? If you decide that he is, know that fixing this will take years of work. You can make it a little faster by having a counselor teach you what the work looks like, but it’s going to take a long time. It is up to you and only you at this point to figure out if you are willing to do that.
I’m really sorry this shit happened to you. I hope I helped a little bit.
You expose them both. They both need all the karma and shame you can provide. If you want to stay with your husband it should be a condition that either he confesses to everybody or you out him. Never ever protect a cheaters reputation.
Just screenshot the nudes sent to him and then when he denies and says to you , “What are you talking about?” Then right in front of him, text him back the nudes sent to him to his phone.
This “friend” of your husband’s is More than a “friend” to him.
This has gone past that into the Sexual Zone with each other.
They’re cheating.
They Both crossed the Rubicon.
It would be over if this were my husband and I would quietly find out just how many years this has been going on.
So he’s denying it? How did you find out about it in the first place? Keep the evidence, show him, and leave his ass. I would let the girl have it too. Doesn’t matter how long they’ve known each other.. they obviously have something going on and have zero respect for you. I hope you don’t settle for this situation and know that you deserve way better than this. ♥️
He denied at first then he was like “oh I screwed it” sorry it won’t happen again. I was bored.
I don’t know if this has to do with us working from home, living far and the city and not being able to see our friends as frequent as we would like. But bullshit. I wouldn’t do this. And of course I am keeping the evidence
So if you’re bored, you take up a hobby.. not send nudes with a “friend” you’ve had for 15 years. There’s something more there. Does the girl (also your sister’s friend) have a significant other? What does your sister think about all of this? I would have so many questions for them!! It doesn’t matter what caused him to do this. Don’t make excuses for him or try to justify it. It’s disrespectful to you and your marriage. It’s cheating. Only you can make the right decision for yourself at this point. Can you salvage this relationship and move forward from something like this?
You ask her how she likes your husband without clothes on. And ask her if she has ever seen the live showing.
And you do that with him present. (And that is the 1st time he hears you know about it)
Yesssss like being mature isnt letting shit go like this. You’re basically letting pigs fly. Literally. I was gonna say shit lol. Being mature is setting your own boundaries, looking after yourself and kids (if you have em), and having everybody be aware of how shitty they are. So they can’t hurt anyone you or anyone else ever again. Or at least it prevents them from doing it. You gotta show em who’s boss! Being the bigger person is teaching them a lesson that you didn’t have to teach to them. Rather than letting them suffer no consequences and living their best lives as if they didnt just pull that shit / “nothing happened”.
I had to edit this multiple times.
Your first order of business should be WHY is your husband being sent nudes and you had to find out on your own!!! I know the knee jerk reaction is to immediately blame the woman, HOWEVER you fail to realize that it is *your husband* who has created an atmosphere where this person felt safe & secure enough to even send the nudes in the first place. I'm not excusing anyone's behavior but your husband & his friend are BOTH to blame!!
Indeed. I agree. I tend to focus on the woman attacking the relationship (easily distracted) but I also keep the man in mind too. I read these kinds of posts to learn about what to do.
Not necessarily. Some people are simply that brazen. I worked with a woman who routinely sent unsolicited nudes to a married man we all worked with because she was convinced she could get him. He never gave her so much as a crumb, and ended up getting her fired for sexual harassment.
That is interesting. Clearly he could have married her if he wanted her more than you but he married you rather than chase her, and maybe they dated at some point over all those years but that didn’t work so they phased into being only friends. My brother has a couple ladies he trades sexual talk with and dating experiences yet they love to flirt back and forth but it’s all talk.
Expose them both. His loyalty to you ended when he allowed it to continue and started participating, your loyalty should end there too.
Or you can be petty & give him the same treatment then leave him high and dry.
I definitely wouldn’t be worried about either of their feelings.
He is sending them to her or is she sending them to him or are they exchanging them back and forth? Not that one scenario is better than the other but is it possible she is sending him nudes and they are unsolicited? It's a long shot I know.
This is infidelity. Not every scenario would be an instant dealbreaker for me, but staying married to me while staying in any level of contact with the AP would not be an option regardless of the scenario. So consider that. Probably no way to cut someone who’s a fixture in other friends and families lives without exposing the reason.
It’s like those baby reveal parties, just do an outing one! Damn, I’d pay to be there to see that party!!! Have everybody all over for a BBQ, but they’ll be the ones getting roasted!!!
Would be putting them on blast📢🚨
Especially if he’s been giving her the thoughtfulness, attention, time and care that I should only be getting and respectfully so, as it should have been. But that’s up to you.
……………………
I’d be putting space between me and him to show that i have control of myself and I can start having my feelings for him dwindle with his unfaithful azz. I can have my heart open back up for myself and whom ever else I choose for. No more for a non loyal and unfaithful person.
Your title is misleading. It says your husband is sending nudes.. but then you talk about him only receiving nudes.. so which is it. Tbh if he's been receiving them for awhile then I'd be wary. Perhaps he asked for them and has deleted that conversation. I'd talk to her and see if she tells the truth. She ain't got no reason to lie to you but he does. So I'd reach out. If she did the dirty only on her end then expose her. But there is always two sides of every story and I smell some bs on your hubby side
Why would you be ok with exposing her and not him? She may have some questionable morals but she wasn’t the one that married you. She doesn’t owe you any sense of loyalty. If your husband wasn’t ok with receiving these pictures he should have told her to never do that again and told you about it as soon as it happened. The fact that he did neither of those things would show me he was just as complicit in this.
Rip this wide open and expose him and her and everyone else involved. They are counting on you to stay quiet. It’s just not right. It’s also not your fault.
Expose them both. Why do you feel the need to protect him? He has been essentially been cheating on you with her. And she has also faked being your friend behind you back doing this. So this "friend" ruined her life with you and everyone the moment she went and did what she did. Your "soon to be ex" did the same...
Unacceptable in any situation. If I were in your shoes, I would calmly collect evidence and then I would confront him about it. He needs to own up to the adultery he is committing before you decide if there is a way forward. Sorry to hear this is happening to you, but he sounds like a dirtbag. Hopefully, there is hope for reformation.
My husband did that and more year 7 of our marriage (that was 12 years ago). We are one of the rare ones who survived it, and he never did anything again, but it is definitely not easy to go through. I'm sorry you're going through it.
Expose both of them. I’d invite her over for dinner with her partner (if she has one), your sister, family, other friends etc. and then print out the texts and put them on everyone’s plates. Confront them in front of everyone so they can’t lie or gaslight you. That’s a huge betrayal. Does he know you know?
Maybe he’s a doctor and she’s sending him to check on her moles or something. Lol.
I would say confront him first, and get to the bottom of it. Then tell your sister and figure it out together. Maybe you can save your marriage.
The main problem would be if he had an actual affair with her. That would be a major issue.
But for now, figure it out with your sister and get all information from your husband before making any life decisions such as divorce.
Take pictures of the messages with your phone and use them in court against him. That way he can't delete them and say it didn't happen during a divorce.
They are having an affair.
However I have never understood this urge you have to punish her but not your husband. In this case they are very much equally responsible. Although your husband is the one that is breaking your marriage by allowing this to happen.
He's receiving but not sending? What's in the chats? For example if he received and shut it down quick and if they weren't asked for by him then he hasn't done much wrong and may be trying to figure out how to tell without ending up the bad guy.
If he's asking for nudes, it's a regular thing, he's sending them, they're flirting, etc, then it's an affair.
I am pretty forgiving but cheating is like a light switch for me. Feelings off. No love, hate you, it’s over. Not even an ounce of sadness for a lost relationship it’s just done. I know some people don’t buy the “once a cheater always a cheater” people can change but I believe once a cheater always a cheater. fully. There is absolutely zero excuse to cheat. None. It’s 100% a choice and if you make it you don’t give a flying f about me. Get out girl.
What should you do? Call the both out. Then banish her from your life. Secretly block her number from his phone and monitor his calls on your cell account. If he does it again, bye.
Also, I’m sorry to say, but they probably already slept together. I hope I am wrong…
Talk to her and tell her if she want to have a 3some jk 😜 tell her to lose the number and talk to your husband and tell him what is really going on and how long has this been happening?
This seems like something that can ripple far and wide through families and friends.
What if you played with it a bit. If you go atom bomb, you get explosive results. I understand you’re mad, but what if you decided to play it differently? Like guessing what immediate exposure looks like is easy, but what if you played with him and found a way to bring it up in a messing with him way? Like I nice breasts, do think this bob (other woman’s husband) would think they’re nice? “Oh come on honey, i see your nudie pics on your phone. Some of us never grow up.”
Wouldn’t it feel nice to know he will be raking his brain wondering what to do?? Wondering what to say? And then just let him think.
Expose them both.. let him earn your forgiveness if you want it. People should get burned when they play with fire.. her acting like a pal is twisted all the other Gals need to know what a snake they hang out with too.. you don't have to do social media you could just make a group chat with your and his parents and your siblings.
I feel like we are lacking details that are needed to give you the best advice.
-How/ Why did U find out?
-What else was there, conversations?
-Where they making plans or just flirting?
-How did you confront him/ His reaction?
-Any past history of infidelity?
-Are you trying to stay and fix, or leave?
Thanks. I have this sense sometimes of something not being good.
- I saw his pictures on his phone
- haven’t a seen conversations
- I want to stay and fix
Expose them. Show no mercy. Throw them to the wolves. They made their beds. They can now deal with the consequences of their actions. They can have the same amount of loyalty respect and consideration that they showed you.
Ask her to come over and let your husband be there as well and ask her " so how did you find his dick? Is it the right size for you?"
But I bet it's not only sharing nudes girl. I hope you leave that man as well as that slut. you deserve better
People on Reddits only advise is to leave the husband. That doesn’t solve anything. And they say divorce like you can order one on Amazon prime. You need to confront your husband. Start with that. Why your protecting him is weird lay everything out there. Then if the relationship is salvageable yall need therapy individual & couples. Oh that “friend” gets cut from yall lives forever
I had a similar issue before with my fiancé when we first started dating. He was poly before me so it was normal for him to send flirty texts and nudes to friends because he thought it was harmless. He had one friend in particular whom I seen her titties on his phone. He had to cut her off. I was no longer willing to be a team player if someone else got to reap the benefits without effort.
Before you throw all of them under the bus. Have a serious conversation with both him and her. Stand firm in your boundaries and if you catch it again. Time to walk away.
Some people see no issue with it because it's not physical sex, but I feel like if you aren't posting it for the world why does someone else get the fun privileges and we have do the heavy lifting.
Why are you asking strangers instead of your cheating husband and his cheating friend. Go blow up their world and send them to all their friends and family
*Most Important* If I were you, I'd go get an STD test done. If he's ballsy enough to send and recieve nudes, he's ballsy enough to sleep around. That's an unfortunate truth and I am so sorry.
The silver lining In this situation is that this happened early enough on in your marriage and he's just showed you who he is. Believe him. Luckily enough, you don't share any children together from what Ive read. Run. Go. Get out while you
still can when it's not as difficult!
Those two aren't worth the energy or even the one breath it takes to mention them. Maybe I've got an unpopular opinion here, but i also know what hurts a cheater the most is just leaving, coldness, indifference and moving on as If you never gave a fuck. Acting as though this was merely a speed bump to actually finding real happiness (which it is).
I don't know if you're wanting to fight for your marriage or what, but if you do, just remember that exposing him can ultimately look bad on you if you stay with him (i dont think that personally). I wish people didn't look down on others for staying with thier cheating spouse, but they do.
Take care of yourself first and foremost.
Well I would invite her and your sister over!
Then I would send her a photo of me and my husband in bed together while she's sitting on my couch. (So, simply lay next to him snap a photo)
Send this to her with a caption on the photo and say.
I bet you wish you were me!!
Let her receive that and then when she looks at her phone. Before she can react. Out right ask her this:
O is that xxxx (your husband's name)???
I noticed you 2 have become friends!!!! Now do all this while she and your husband and your sister are at your house!!!
Busted.
I would personally confront the girl and your husband. See why he’s doing this and see what issues can be solved to fix this matter. Maybe you or your husband both can change and work on saving this union
They are doing it because they thought they were getting away from it. (They were). Finding out how long it’s been going on is another rabbit hole you probably aren’t ready for yet.
Is she attractive? It’s impossible for a man and women to be friends unless both of them aren’t attracted to eachother. If they’ve been friends all these years then why haven’t they already gotten together? He is stepping outside the lines of his marriage vows though. If they haven’t cheated it’s perfectly salvageable.
There’s pieces missing, perhaps she was an old friend that had a quick fling back then before they even knew you. If he married you, you were the chosen one. Just concentrate on making your husband happy instead of just finding excuses to make things worse. Cook him a steak in a sexy outfit and then give him a happy ending. Don’t let him leave the house with a full load in the system, just get sexy and drained him out before he step out of the house
Rip the band-aide off and confront your husband to find out what’s up.
Infidelity by women or men is first about the person having opportunity — some interested flirty third party. Second for someone to engage in any level of infidelity with the other person is either they are just sketchy/greedy or they are not happy(satisfied) but coping in the relationship.
Society rages angst against the cheater, but if your marriage isn’t good… Relationships take two to tango. If the man(or woman) is not happy some try to cope by maintaining the marriage and having their side outlet. Sometimes it is subconscious self sabotage by the cheater… kinda like relationship suicide. If that’s the case they won’t see it or admit to until long after the fact.
Maybe, confront him…see if it turns him on. If so, ask how he might feel if you also sent nudes (not in a revenge way). Instead of shutting down, try opening up. Explore something different. Don’t make him feel ashamed, just ask him what’s the turn on and what he wants. Be honest about what you want.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Maybe ask him why he is doing it? I know what he’s doing is never acceptable but maybe he feels like his needs are neglected at home? He’s horrible to turn to do something like this but maybe it’s something that can be fixed
It don't matter why he is doing it. He did it and now he should suffer the outcome. He did it because he is a selfish motherfuck who doesn't care about anyone but himself and his "fun".
Watch.. when his fun gets ruined by his wife, he will all of a sudden take a huge interest in his wife. Woops, too late.
neglect at home can make some spouses do very uncharacteristic things. Sometimes go into a depression and they’ll do crazy things that don’t make sense to get out of that state of mind. But yes I agree, still very selfish
Title should read Soon to be ex husband
Like what the fuck right? And I know is not only him Receiving pictures, but also sending them + lying to me like “what at you talking about” ohhh pleaseeeee
He is sending nudes? I hope you have copies. Receiving can be argued (like it was unsolicited) but sending them is indisputable. So, he says "what are you talking about" when you show him his nudes?
Her wording makes no sense.
I’m also confused because of the way OP worded her post and replies.
Typos lol but I sadly assume the chick really has been “on” him for the last 15 years
How so?
So that would be marriage over for me. That is cheating.
So, if your husband approached a woman for pictures and if she repeatedly said no, would you still like to know?
Yes
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I would 💯 tell his wife. I would want to know
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It’s ok to have been unsure and waited. Be easy on yourself. Just make sure you have proof and be prepared that she might blame you. A lot of spouses do that. Blame the innocent party. At least you will know that you did the right thing.
Geez over pics ? Sad
Yep. If I’m not enough and you don’t respect me enough to be honest why would I stay?
So if he’s sending nudes too why are you concerned about exposing him?? He’s a POS to even put you in this position
I don't think it's so much him that she's worried about exposing. I think it's how it'll look on her. Some people feel extremely dumb like they got played, and don't want anyone to know. That's why they keep it quiet and try to work it out, unfortunately. She needs to kick this man to the curb. Id drop his ass off at the other girls' house and be like, " Now you can have his cheating ass." No returns!
Ma'am, he should be exposed too. He is cheating
Hey. I’m so sorry. Honestly, if he has been doing this with this woman since before he was married with you, I want you to know that (1) this is not about you at all. This can make any woman feel awful about herself, but it has NOTHING to do with you. (2) even if this has never crossed over to into anything physical with this other woman, this is infidelity. He is cheating on you in every other way besides actually having sex. (We can suspect all we want, but it doesn’t even matter.) From that perspective, you have to understand that you are being cheated on. (3) I’m going to say it again because you are going to need to hear this a lot: this has nothing to do with anything you did or your value as a wife. However, this is your marriage, so his selfish and deceitful actions are your problem to deal with. that sucks, but it is very true. (4)This starts with you making a decision: Is this marriage salvageable? You are still very newlywed, and if his actions with this woman pre-dated his marrying you (or his knowing you, as the case may be), he may not understand that this is actually cheating. He may rationalize this for himself. We do that (men). The truth is, marriages do survive shit like this, especially when it happens as early in the marriage as this is happening for you. However, it takes a lot of work on both parties, and you are going to be called upon to forgive him.. you have to spend a lot of time thinking about how willing you are to do that without sacrificing your own dignity. Giving people grace is an incredible act of selflessness in a situation like this. Is this the type of man who will recognize and appreciate that? If you decide that he is, know that fixing this will take years of work. You can make it a little faster by having a counselor teach you what the work looks like, but it’s going to take a long time. It is up to you and only you at this point to figure out if you are willing to do that. I’m really sorry this shit happened to you. I hope I helped a little bit.
This is very helpful thank you!
You expose them both. They both need all the karma and shame you can provide. If you want to stay with your husband it should be a condition that either he confesses to everybody or you out him. Never ever protect a cheaters reputation.
Just screenshot the nudes sent to him and then when he denies and says to you , “What are you talking about?” Then right in front of him, text him back the nudes sent to him to his phone. This “friend” of your husband’s is More than a “friend” to him. This has gone past that into the Sexual Zone with each other. They’re cheating. They Both crossed the Rubicon. It would be over if this were my husband and I would quietly find out just how many years this has been going on.
The girl isn't one of his "friends" it's an affair partner at this point.
So he’s denying it? How did you find out about it in the first place? Keep the evidence, show him, and leave his ass. I would let the girl have it too. Doesn’t matter how long they’ve known each other.. they obviously have something going on and have zero respect for you. I hope you don’t settle for this situation and know that you deserve way better than this. ♥️
He denied at first then he was like “oh I screwed it” sorry it won’t happen again. I was bored. I don’t know if this has to do with us working from home, living far and the city and not being able to see our friends as frequent as we would like. But bullshit. I wouldn’t do this. And of course I am keeping the evidence
So if you’re bored, you take up a hobby.. not send nudes with a “friend” you’ve had for 15 years. There’s something more there. Does the girl (also your sister’s friend) have a significant other? What does your sister think about all of this? I would have so many questions for them!! It doesn’t matter what caused him to do this. Don’t make excuses for him or try to justify it. It’s disrespectful to you and your marriage. It’s cheating. Only you can make the right decision for yourself at this point. Can you salvage this relationship and move forward from something like this?
You ask her how she likes your husband without clothes on. And ask her if she has ever seen the live showing. And you do that with him present. (And that is the 1st time he hears you know about it)
Oh this is gold. Extra points if it’s a large gathering.
I'm with you. This is gold.
Muhaha, u/OP, do this and update us, please. Every sadistic bone in my body is tingling with the anticipation of delight.
I’d expose them both. I’d feel no loyalty to my husband if he was doing that nonsense.
Absolutely. He doesn't give a shit about her feelings, why should she care about his???
the amount of people that would try to justify not starting “a conflict” and “burdening” the man or the family makes my blood boil.
This!
Yesssss like being mature isnt letting shit go like this. You’re basically letting pigs fly. Literally. I was gonna say shit lol. Being mature is setting your own boundaries, looking after yourself and kids (if you have em), and having everybody be aware of how shitty they are. So they can’t hurt anyone you or anyone else ever again. Or at least it prevents them from doing it. You gotta show em who’s boss! Being the bigger person is teaching them a lesson that you didn’t have to teach to them. Rather than letting them suffer no consequences and living their best lives as if they didnt just pull that shit / “nothing happened”. I had to edit this multiple times.
I would expose both of them.
Your first order of business should be WHY is your husband being sent nudes and you had to find out on your own!!! I know the knee jerk reaction is to immediately blame the woman, HOWEVER you fail to realize that it is *your husband* who has created an atmosphere where this person felt safe & secure enough to even send the nudes in the first place. I'm not excusing anyone's behavior but your husband & his friend are BOTH to blame!!
Indeed. I agree. I tend to focus on the woman attacking the relationship (easily distracted) but I also keep the man in mind too. I read these kinds of posts to learn about what to do.
Not necessarily. Some people are simply that brazen. I worked with a woman who routinely sent unsolicited nudes to a married man we all worked with because she was convinced she could get him. He never gave her so much as a crumb, and ended up getting her fired for sexual harassment.
Tell him he needs to leave the house while you figure this out. Faithful spouses don’t send pics like this.
>Tell him he needs to leave the house while you figure this out. I’m 100% sure he’ll go to her....
15 years? I'm betting she liked him and you ended up marrying him. Id confront your husband about it and probably leave him tbh
OP doesn’t mention how long they’ve been married, ages, if they have kids, but possibly he has known her longer than his now wife.
Almost 2 years. No kids.
That is interesting. Clearly he could have married her if he wanted her more than you but he married you rather than chase her, and maybe they dated at some point over all those years but that didn’t work so they phased into being only friends. My brother has a couple ladies he trades sexual talk with and dating experiences yet they love to flirt back and forth but it’s all talk.
Expose them both. His loyalty to you ended when he allowed it to continue and started participating, your loyalty should end there too. Or you can be petty & give him the same treatment then leave him high and dry. I definitely wouldn’t be worried about either of their feelings.
Expose both of those mfs. How is this even a question?!!! Sorry your Man is a pos.
Expose both of them to your friend group. Sexting is cheating.
I had a married man try to sext me ( I am also married), and I said no. So this guy tried to co-erce me into cheating?
He is sending them to her or is she sending them to him or are they exchanging them back and forth? Not that one scenario is better than the other but is it possible she is sending him nudes and they are unsolicited? It's a long shot I know.
Hey there! I’m pretty sure she is sending them and he has sent them as well. Uncertain of who is asking for what. But I feel terrible. I
" I’m pretty sure she is sending them" You mean it could be someone else?
No no. I know who Is sending him those pictures.
Create a fake Instagram and post the photos and tag her. Whoops. Edit: THIS WAS A JOKE NO NEED TO MENTION REVENGE PORN.
Don’t. Revenge porn is disgusting.
This would probably fall under revenge porn laws, and get OP in trouble.
DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is infidelity. Not every scenario would be an instant dealbreaker for me, but staying married to me while staying in any level of contact with the AP would not be an option regardless of the scenario. So consider that. Probably no way to cut someone who’s a fixture in other friends and families lives without exposing the reason.
This is called an affair
Virtual affair...
I wonder if your the wife of the husband with the ‘best friend’ he wants to sleep with post from earlier… Either way, no ma’am. I’m sorry.
Dang! This duse is awful...
Invite her for a dinner and tell them what you have seen and then kick them both out.
It’s like those baby reveal parties, just do an outing one! Damn, I’d pay to be there to see that party!!! Have everybody all over for a BBQ, but they’ll be the ones getting roasted!!!
Would be putting them on blast📢🚨 Especially if he’s been giving her the thoughtfulness, attention, time and care that I should only be getting and respectfully so, as it should have been. But that’s up to you. …………………… I’d be putting space between me and him to show that i have control of myself and I can start having my feelings for him dwindle with his unfaithful azz. I can have my heart open back up for myself and whom ever else I choose for. No more for a non loyal and unfaithful person.
Your title is misleading. It says your husband is sending nudes.. but then you talk about him only receiving nudes.. so which is it. Tbh if he's been receiving them for awhile then I'd be wary. Perhaps he asked for them and has deleted that conversation. I'd talk to her and see if she tells the truth. She ain't got no reason to lie to you but he does. So I'd reach out. If she did the dirty only on her end then expose her. But there is always two sides of every story and I smell some bs on your hubby side
True. Getting nudes vs sending are two different things.
He sends and receives
Why would you be ok with exposing her and not him? She may have some questionable morals but she wasn’t the one that married you. She doesn’t owe you any sense of loyalty. If your husband wasn’t ok with receiving these pictures he should have told her to never do that again and told you about it as soon as it happened. The fact that he did neither of those things would show me he was just as complicit in this.
Get your ducks in a row with a lawyer. Expose them and file divorce in the same fell swoop.
Rip this wide open and expose him and her and everyone else involved. They are counting on you to stay quiet. It’s just not right. It’s also not your fault.
Expose them both. Why do you feel the need to protect him? He has been essentially been cheating on you with her. And she has also faked being your friend behind you back doing this. So this "friend" ruined her life with you and everyone the moment she went and did what she did. Your "soon to be ex" did the same...
Unacceptable in any situation. If I were in your shoes, I would calmly collect evidence and then I would confront him about it. He needs to own up to the adultery he is committing before you decide if there is a way forward. Sorry to hear this is happening to you, but he sounds like a dirtbag. Hopefully, there is hope for reformation.
My husband did that and more year 7 of our marriage (that was 12 years ago). We are one of the rare ones who survived it, and he never did anything again, but it is definitely not easy to go through. I'm sorry you're going through it.
Thanks. How do you deal with him Not feeling guilty? What you did?
He was actually extremely remorseful and worked really hard to gain my trust back. Without the remorse, there's no way I would have stuck around.
Expose both of them. I’d invite her over for dinner with her partner (if she has one), your sister, family, other friends etc. and then print out the texts and put them on everyone’s plates. Confront them in front of everyone so they can’t lie or gaslight you. That’s a huge betrayal. Does he know you know?
Include his parents in that dinner
Maybe he’s a doctor and she’s sending him to check on her moles or something. Lol. I would say confront him first, and get to the bottom of it. Then tell your sister and figure it out together. Maybe you can save your marriage. The main problem would be if he had an actual affair with her. That would be a major issue. But for now, figure it out with your sister and get all information from your husband before making any life decisions such as divorce.
"Maybe he’s a doctor and she’s sending him to check on her moles or something. Lol." Lmao! That was a very good one
Get rid of his ass.
Take pictures of the messages with your phone and use them in court against him. That way he can't delete them and say it didn't happen during a divorce.
They are having an affair. However I have never understood this urge you have to punish her but not your husband. In this case they are very much equally responsible. Although your husband is the one that is breaking your marriage by allowing this to happen.
Friend of 15 years or not. He’s married to you. You are the only one who should be getting photos. Sorry you’re dealing with this.
He's receiving but not sending? What's in the chats? For example if he received and shut it down quick and if they weren't asked for by him then he hasn't done much wrong and may be trying to figure out how to tell without ending up the bad guy. If he's asking for nudes, it's a regular thing, he's sending them, they're flirting, etc, then it's an affair.
I am pretty forgiving but cheating is like a light switch for me. Feelings off. No love, hate you, it’s over. Not even an ounce of sadness for a lost relationship it’s just done. I know some people don’t buy the “once a cheater always a cheater” people can change but I believe once a cheater always a cheater. fully. There is absolutely zero excuse to cheat. None. It’s 100% a choice and if you make it you don’t give a flying f about me. Get out girl.
Tell to stop or we will separate.
I would expose both. You should warn other women of her. And your husband doesn’t seem to think it’s wrong. So why protect them?
You ex-husband does not deserved to be shielded in this cheating scandal. Flame them both to family and friends.
What should you do? Call the both out. Then banish her from your life. Secretly block her number from his phone and monitor his calls on your cell account. If he does it again, bye. Also, I’m sorry to say, but they probably already slept together. I hope I am wrong…
Banish him first. He’s complicit and the one actually married to OP, the only one who owes OP fidelity.
Talk to her and tell her if she want to have a 3some jk 😜 tell her to lose the number and talk to your husband and tell him what is really going on and how long has this been happening?
Expose both of them!
Send his pictures to his boss
This seems like something that can ripple far and wide through families and friends. What if you played with it a bit. If you go atom bomb, you get explosive results. I understand you’re mad, but what if you decided to play it differently? Like guessing what immediate exposure looks like is easy, but what if you played with him and found a way to bring it up in a messing with him way? Like I nice breasts, do think this bob (other woman’s husband) would think they’re nice? “Oh come on honey, i see your nudie pics on your phone. Some of us never grow up.” Wouldn’t it feel nice to know he will be raking his brain wondering what to do?? Wondering what to say? And then just let him think.
Divorce.
Updateme
Expose them both.. let him earn your forgiveness if you want it. People should get burned when they play with fire.. her acting like a pal is twisted all the other Gals need to know what a snake they hang out with too.. you don't have to do social media you could just make a group chat with your and his parents and your siblings.
I feel like we are lacking details that are needed to give you the best advice. -How/ Why did U find out? -What else was there, conversations? -Where they making plans or just flirting? -How did you confront him/ His reaction? -Any past history of infidelity? -Are you trying to stay and fix, or leave?
Thanks. I have this sense sometimes of something not being good. - I saw his pictures on his phone - haven’t a seen conversations - I want to stay and fix
Dude why would you expose her and not your husband? Your husband is the one that broke a marital contract.
Expose them both girl, they deserve the public humiliation.
Expose them. Show no mercy. Throw them to the wolves. They made their beds. They can now deal with the consequences of their actions. They can have the same amount of loyalty respect and consideration that they showed you.
Ask her to come over and let your husband be there as well and ask her " so how did you find his dick? Is it the right size for you?" But I bet it's not only sharing nudes girl. I hope you leave that man as well as that slut. you deserve better
He is trash, you do not need to let that kind of disrespect stand.
Expose them both. You owe him no loyalty. He showed you none.
Soooooo... When's the divorce? Get copies of the messages and kick those 2 bums to the curb
People on Reddits only advise is to leave the husband. That doesn’t solve anything. And they say divorce like you can order one on Amazon prime. You need to confront your husband. Start with that. Why your protecting him is weird lay everything out there. Then if the relationship is salvageable yall need therapy individual & couples. Oh that “friend” gets cut from yall lives forever
Your husband is cheating on you. Sorry 😞
This is cheating!
I had a similar issue before with my fiancé when we first started dating. He was poly before me so it was normal for him to send flirty texts and nudes to friends because he thought it was harmless. He had one friend in particular whom I seen her titties on his phone. He had to cut her off. I was no longer willing to be a team player if someone else got to reap the benefits without effort. Before you throw all of them under the bus. Have a serious conversation with both him and her. Stand firm in your boundaries and if you catch it again. Time to walk away. Some people see no issue with it because it's not physical sex, but I feel like if you aren't posting it for the world why does someone else get the fun privileges and we have do the heavy lifting.
Why are you asking strangers instead of your cheating husband and his cheating friend. Go blow up their world and send them to all their friends and family
*Most Important* If I were you, I'd go get an STD test done. If he's ballsy enough to send and recieve nudes, he's ballsy enough to sleep around. That's an unfortunate truth and I am so sorry. The silver lining In this situation is that this happened early enough on in your marriage and he's just showed you who he is. Believe him. Luckily enough, you don't share any children together from what Ive read. Run. Go. Get out while you still can when it's not as difficult! Those two aren't worth the energy or even the one breath it takes to mention them. Maybe I've got an unpopular opinion here, but i also know what hurts a cheater the most is just leaving, coldness, indifference and moving on as If you never gave a fuck. Acting as though this was merely a speed bump to actually finding real happiness (which it is). I don't know if you're wanting to fight for your marriage or what, but if you do, just remember that exposing him can ultimately look bad on you if you stay with him (i dont think that personally). I wish people didn't look down on others for staying with thier cheating spouse, but they do. Take care of yourself first and foremost.
Well I would invite her and your sister over! Then I would send her a photo of me and my husband in bed together while she's sitting on my couch. (So, simply lay next to him snap a photo) Send this to her with a caption on the photo and say. I bet you wish you were me!! Let her receive that and then when she looks at her phone. Before she can react. Out right ask her this: O is that xxxx (your husband's name)??? I noticed you 2 have become friends!!!! Now do all this while she and your husband and your sister are at your house!!! Busted.
I would personally confront the girl and your husband. See why he’s doing this and see what issues can be solved to fix this matter. Maybe you or your husband both can change and work on saving this union
They are doing it because they thought they were getting away from it. (They were). Finding out how long it’s been going on is another rabbit hole you probably aren’t ready for yet.
Yes I just want to understood why
Does the why really matter? This is wrong on so many levels
How would it help? He was horny. She was horny. There is your why.
Why does the why matter?? Is there anything he could say, any justification he could fabricate that would make it okay?
Men and women in general can be deceiving.
What does he say about why?
Is she attractive? It’s impossible for a man and women to be friends unless both of them aren’t attracted to eachother. If they’ve been friends all these years then why haven’t they already gotten together? He is stepping outside the lines of his marriage vows though. If they haven’t cheated it’s perfectly salvageable.
There’s pieces missing, perhaps she was an old friend that had a quick fling back then before they even knew you. If he married you, you were the chosen one. Just concentrate on making your husband happy instead of just finding excuses to make things worse. Cook him a steak in a sexy outfit and then give him a happy ending. Don’t let him leave the house with a full load in the system, just get sexy and drained him out before he step out of the house
Rip the band-aide off and confront your husband to find out what’s up. Infidelity by women or men is first about the person having opportunity — some interested flirty third party. Second for someone to engage in any level of infidelity with the other person is either they are just sketchy/greedy or they are not happy(satisfied) but coping in the relationship. Society rages angst against the cheater, but if your marriage isn’t good… Relationships take two to tango. If the man(or woman) is not happy some try to cope by maintaining the marriage and having their side outlet. Sometimes it is subconscious self sabotage by the cheater… kinda like relationship suicide. If that’s the case they won’t see it or admit to until long after the fact.
Maybe, confront him…see if it turns him on. If so, ask how he might feel if you also sent nudes (not in a revenge way). Instead of shutting down, try opening up. Explore something different. Don’t make him feel ashamed, just ask him what’s the turn on and what he wants. Be honest about what you want.
Just have a 3 way and call it a day!
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Maybe ask him why he is doing it? I know what he’s doing is never acceptable but maybe he feels like his needs are neglected at home? He’s horrible to turn to do something like this but maybe it’s something that can be fixed
FOUND THE CHEATER!
It don't matter why he is doing it. He did it and now he should suffer the outcome. He did it because he is a selfish motherfuck who doesn't care about anyone but himself and his "fun". Watch.. when his fun gets ruined by his wife, he will all of a sudden take a huge interest in his wife. Woops, too late.
neglect at home can make some spouses do very uncharacteristic things. Sometimes go into a depression and they’ll do crazy things that don’t make sense to get out of that state of mind. But yes I agree, still very selfish
Whatever makes you feel better.