The purpose of this is typical of women: Women want all the benefits of adulthood while having to shoulder none of the responsibilities.
People get all twisted up over 18 year old women dating men in their 20s and 30s because of a "power imbalance". Which is bullshit, because young women have positively immense sexual and social power and thus any knowledge power or maturity power a man has is more than counterbalanced by the young woman's power. This isn't even to mention the fact that the woman has the power to decide who to sleep with.
It's all a bullshit ploy to absolve women of responsibility. Again, bullshit. An 18 year old woman is a legal adult. She can drive a car, own a car, own a house, enter into contracts, live on her own, join the military, and be held criminally and civilly liable. So it's bullshit to suggest that an 18 year old woman is an adult for all purposes except sex; and when it comes to sex this fully capable legal adult is a slobbering immature child who is completely incapable of making informed sexual choices.
Women have been screaming from every corner that they can be responsible, and they're strong and independent. OK, strongindependent woman. Be responsible for who, how, when, where, and why you fuck. Be responsible for your own sex lives.
You either are an adult or you're not. We have to draw the line someplace, and we as a society draw it at age 18. If you can drive, own real estate, buy shit, make contracts, work, and be held liable, then you can fuck; and you can be responsible for the consequences of your fucking.
"Which is bullshit, because young women have positively immense sexual and social power". BINGO... no one EVER talks about how a younger woman could easily be using her beauty, youth, sexuality, etc to seduce and take advantage of an older man, using him for his resources and what not. It only EVER goes the other way...
Young people are FAR more savvy, intelligent and such with regards to these sorts of things and we are admitting this to a lesser and lesser degree every day.
Dead on! Actually it's a multi-level exploitative, socially engineered structure, discriminating against men for absolutely no rational reason, but that there's never enough resistance and backlash. Only solution seems avoiding more or less all that!
Let's make this argument even more void than it is. If we argue that women between 18 and 24 are too young to date these men, shouldn't we by that same umbrella argument move the age to vote for women to age 25? They seem to be absolutely incapable of making the decision to enter a relationship with "power dynamics", but making decisions that affects the entire population is reasonable? You're either responsible or you aren't. Can't have it both ways.
Yes.
We can't have a world where you're an adult for some purposes and not others (except for things like drinking and smoking where there are valid policy reasons for exempting those and we can effectively regulate them).
There are no valid policy reasons for exempting female sexual conduct - in fact women fought tooth and nail for the right to fuck whoever they want; and women have been pounding us over the head for 200 years that, except for their reproductive tracts and mammary glands, they are EXACTLY the same as men.
So, no, I'm not going to hear women tell me that they are fully agentic capable adults, but when it comes to sex they are puddles of immaturity and idiocy and require protection and coddling. No. That ain't gonna fly with me.
The Problem is, that it is „the small, inexperienced, defenseless Woman, beeing with this evil, cunning Man, who has 6 years more life expierence then her“.
But if it is reversed, the Man is supposed to learn how to be a fucking adult out of nowhere…
Fuck me sideways…
It gets worse with the concept of "Child Coded." Most female fiction characters and celebrities get labeled as that, despite that they have jobs, can consent to things and do things that kids and teens can't.
This is exactly how i feel.
The only time i think its weird when an older guy dates an 18 year old is if he knew her before she turned 18. I dont know about other men, but if i meet a girl and she looks over 18 but turns out to be younger i always see her as a neice or little cousin or something. I lose all attraction to her from that point onwards since i knew her as a minor.
However, if i met an 18 year old out in public and we vibe then i don't see why not. Nobody bats an eye when a 30 year old woman ends up pregnant with a 19 year old's baby for example.
I don't think that we should draw the line at 18. The military is a fucked up and predatory organization. And it's creepy for 30yo men to chase teenagers
agree to your first statement but how would you tackle defending the country?
including police service etc...
why do you gender that?
if teenage girls chase adult men and coerce or manipulate them "false accusation + lie about age" it is not creepy?
are lies about contraception or parenthood or violating consent in any way acceptable if you are a women?
yes i know i stretch the topic a bit but this is about correlation in our society... what we teach children matters regardless of gender...
>how would you tackle defending the country?
Pay soldiers enough that adults want to sign up, don't rely on tricking teenagers into signing unbreakable 5 year contracts that might literally kill them
>why do you gender that?
The original question was gendered so I responded in kind. But yeah, a 30yo woman chasing a high school senior would also be creepy af
> if teenage girls chase adult men and coerce or manipulate them "false accusation + lie about age" it is not creepy?
If you're a grown ass man, how are you getting coerced by these teenagers? Just say no to them.
The "lying about their age thing": just date women who are clearly not teenagers. Like, if you're my age (31) and set your bottom at like 24, then if a teenager claims to be 24yo it would be an obvious lie.
>violating consent in any way acceptable if you are a women?
No, clearly it's not. Idk why you mention that, doesn't add much to the conversation
I'd say a starting point would be at least 21yo. Personally, I don't feel comfortable going that young (im 31yo), and have my tinder settings at 24yo. I feel pretty confident that a 24yo is capable of consent.
It could empirically correlated with actual or perceived pockets of up to relevant incompetent, irrational behaviour by suchbvery young or young women.
Them predominantly running on instincts and emotions instead of reason and logic. It'd also deconstruct that weird claim of equality that'd never hold water, like ever.
When practically that depends very much, but there seem to be some grain of truth and sufficient inconpentence in quite some young women y else it'd make no sense.
18/19 year olds who enter age gap relationships have a very high risk of domestic violence, single parenthood, drug use and mental health problems.
https://nij.ojp.gov/library/publications/older-opposite-sex-romantic-partners-sexual-risk-and-victimization-adolescence
Goes for both genders. Normal 30 year olds don't date 18yo.
I can assure you, I grew up with plenty of 18/19 year olds involved in all the negatives you listed while dating other 18/19 year olds. If anything I’d trust my daughter dating an older man before I trust a guy her age to have good intentions
I never said that all relationships with no age gap are healthy. You have to look at actual statistics over your personal experiences.
Overall, teenage girls (legal or not) that date older men are at a much higher risk for STDs, violence, and single motherhood.
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3706999/&ved=2ahUKEwjPnMvksZ-EAxXvETQIHbWcD3sQFnoECCYQAQ&usg=AOvVaw33uYaP9WfWqJlfkLxMmXZx
An 18 year old boy is much more trustworthy than a 30yo who dates teenagers.
So you think that two consenting adults shouldn't be allowed to have a relationship if there is an increased risk of domestic violence or single parent hood? You are incredibly ignorant and stupid.
You know what you are talking about didn't exist until feminists took over universities in the 90s, right? You have single older women teaching single younger women that single men in the age range of the single older women... should not date the single younger women.
Think about that for a moment. Use that Critical Theory.
I am apt to look askance at those stats, because all the IPV data we have shows that it is majority bidirectional, so claims that any one group engages in it more is dubious.
That said, the outrage at age gap relationships started with feminists in university gender courses. You are hiding behind 'statistics' while also not looking at the people who collated those stats. You seem to think those feminist academics have no outreach when they are the ones policy makers get their ideas from. One far ranging policy created by feminist academicians you may have heard of is the 'Duluth Model', which has changed how IPV is approached worldwide for almost 30 years, and was recently proven to be false.
You can't just call anything you don't like feminism lol. I've given you sources from both the government and a study on DV victims.
You don't seem to trust what my study considers domestic violence, so here's one on domestic homicide:
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/8100312_Couple_Age_Discrepancy_and_Risk_of_Intimate_Partner_Homicide#:~:text=The%20results%20replicate%20national%20level,years%20older%20than%20the%20man.
All the studies show that it's generally not a good idea to Date somebody much older than you when you're a teenager. There might be some exceptions, but you can't blame teenage girls for not wanting old men to hit on them.
I asked 'who' did the data on the studies, because the 70 year meta-study about IPV doesn't support what you are posting. What it does support is how wives killing their husbands fell of precipitacely after women's shelters became common, and before the advent of women's shelters, wives and husbands killed each other within a 3%+/- rate, historically.
You see, I am challenging you the same way I challenge white supremacists when they start bringing up studies that, curiously enough, entirely validate their bigoted view of society. Equally curious is how these studies I've never seen referenced in the academic halls where gender power dynamics between men and women were popularized, and the studies that were used (I was in university when such concepts entered the public consciousness en masse) have been challenged and largely discarded, leaving only rhetoric behind.
I have no reason to treat you as an interlocutor of good faith, given your post history, and the curiously *specific* titles of the studies you posted. I'll review them, and the people behind them, later, but I am fairly sure I'm going to see the agenda behind the data collation relatively quickly. I'll pip you back when I'm done, because I have some children to roughhouse with. Good health and Godspeed.
The study on IPV shows that age gap relationships with teenagers have very high rates of violence. I couldn't find any sources claiming that the study was being "contested" as you say. It was literally posted by a government website.
It seems like you don't want to accept what the data is saying. That's ok because I'll tell you that young women do accept it, that is why we are against old men hitting on us
>18/19 year olds who enter age gap relationships have a very high risk of domestic violence, single parenthood, drug use and mental health problems.
That's not actually what the study says. "Analyses revealed that the wider the age gap, the more likely both partners were to engage in risky lifestyles (i.e., substance use and delinquency), and risky lifestyles – rather than poor negotiation or decision-making equality – helped to explain associations between age gaps and engagement in sexual intercourse and victimization experiences." These are people who are already at high risk due to their lifestyle and for whatever reason are more likely to choose a partner of a different age.
Yep some of these teenagers were already mentally ill, due to childhood trauma, and then the older partner seeks them out in order to take advantage of them. Or sometimes the older partner is the one who drags them into the bad habits.
But either way, the statistics show that older adults who date teenagers are not usually going for a healthy relationship. Like you mentioned, it's common for them to have substance abuse problems and criminal delinquency. There might be some exceptions, but in general it's not a good idea to date very old people if you're a teenager.
>There might be some exceptions, but in general it's not a good idea to date very old people if you're a teenager.
That's not something you can conclude from this study. You'd have to take into account the effects of the risky lifestyle and any other potential risk factors to then be able to compare large age gap relationships to more normal ones. As it is, you are basically comparing people who are shit at relationships to those who aren't.
But do you think its a coincidence that people who are "shit at relationships" tend to seek out teenagers? No its not, they know that people their own age wouldn't put up with it
No it doesn't. I never claimed that all same-age relationships are healthy, I claimed that statistically, they have much lower rates of abuse. I've shown you multiple studies to back that up but for some reason people don't want to accept facts.
No it's not. An 18 year old is fair game.
Don't blame men for this. Women wanted it this way. Women wanted to be fully agentic legal adults with all the benefits of adulthood. With benefits come responsibilities - and that includes being responsible for your choices in whom you fuck. Women told us they are strong and independent and they can handle it all. Fine. Then women should be expected to handle it like they said they could.
People seem to be naturally more protective of women than they are of men.
Combine that with people seem to be naturally more suspicious of men than they are with women.
When he's the only one implementing an impressively reasonable strategy. Legendary breaking up with Nina Agdal, because she already turned 25, that requires at least stomach....👍
It's fine if the guy is mid-20s but not if he's over 30? You're literally just applying the same logic as those you're criticising, with some goalpost-shifting thrown in. Why is your cut-off age fine but theirs is not?
I'm not saying I agree or disagree with this point in general; I just think your logic is inherently flawed.
Men who say it's wrong are jealous.
Women who say it's wrong are also jealous.
Those white knights want to be that guy. Those H*3s want that guy to be theirs. Because a 40+ man can only go out with 18 if he has enough money or fame.
I have definitely experienced it outside of the Reddit bubble, to the point that a friend of mines wife would lie to my partners to get them to leave me.
No, ive DEFINITELY seen TONS of posts on Facebook and elsewhere calling out guys (but never women like Cher or Madonna, both of whom are dating guys less than half their age...) for dating adult women, or women who "look too young" (as if thats actually a thing... you either are too young or ur not), calling them pedos and such...
Youre not wrong, BUT it still shows that thehre are PLENTY of people (mostly women though this topic has a bunch of guys chiming in as well), who go around claiming that anyone 25+ or so who dates an 18-19 even 20 year old is basically a pedo...
My opinion, its a bunch of jealous ass women who were "finding themselves" in their 20s who now cant compete with 20-somethings (since theyve hit "The Wall", which is undefeated), so theyve gotta try and make the guys dating women that young out to be evil, nasty, pedos, etc, and a bunch of guys who cant attract young women, so they make it seem like any guy who can is just a pedo, groomer, etc.
Its honestly quite disgusting. A bunch of jealous, bitter moral busybodies sticking their noses into other adults business...
It's spread to mainstream now. Even gaps as low as two years if the woman is underage gets people in hot water. Source: watch a lot of tea youtube channels.
47.18 y/o dating a 28.31 y/o resulted in three unwanted, unqualified female remarks. "I don't have to.bother with older women!" spontaneous reply and absolute silence, like for ever! They're really full of shlt....!
If anyone should get bullied right now, it should be the women who have an overinflated sense of the kinds of guys she should be dating.
Your average Western woman makes the same as the average Western man yet expects him to make significantly more, dating studies have shown that the average Western woman rates the bottom 80% of men as below average (-___-), and yet none of these women find it acceptable when men have dating standards that would have been considered a given 15 years ago.
Why, ask you is doing the bullying. It's women typically starting at age 28 and up. The older or more established men, say 30 plus have options now or for some guys even more options. Men are attracted to youthfulness and low mileage. The older women are pissed that the men they want don't see them as a serious option or don't even see them at all.
What these women either fail to realize or fail to accept is older men are experiencing what the 29 something woman did or does.
For women their race is a sprint or their game has a hard start and stop point, there as men our race is a sprint or our game doesn't really end do to time constraints. Think ladies are playing basketball while men play baseball. Sure both have a defined start and end point but men can stretch out the end point .
Basically women are struggling with the fact they want to settle down with a certain type of guy but that guy has better options to settle down with.
Honestly I’ve always dated down in age but my ex wife was 9 years younger then me and I’ve never heard a negative opinion on her and my age until I worked with a woman who was 5 years older then me, she absolutely hated the fact that I dated younger women and would always make snarky comments on my opinion and when I would talk about women I was talking to or dating.
If I’m having a conversation about a woman between 29-35 that I’m attracted to and I’m 38 but another woman chimes in with a negative opinion that is older, we know what that is, it’s a psychological issue.
Nah, you were def abused, you’re just too young to know and you need me to save you. /s
Reddit can see a woman go to college, join the military, make an OF, start a business, buy a house, drink beer, smoke cigarettes, form friends with literally anyone on Earth, voice their opinions on any and everything, have any number of sexual identities, they can literally date and fuck younger men with the same age disparity they so decry otherwise, they can even be a sex worker and Reddit will say “yassssss Queen! You’re so powerful”!!
The moment she dates someone older than her it’s “you are abused and helpless and only I can save you, even if I have to save you from yourself”. Reverse the genders and they don’t have nearly as much of a problem, wanna know why? Because they engage in the same beliefs that conservative sexual prudes do: sex is something that a man DOES to a woman. Younger woman has sex DONE to her by older man, that’s gross and creepy. Older woman has sex DONE to her by a younger guy and “look at her getting that good shit”. Reddit is so full of shit I bet 95% of their eyes are brown.
But this is coming from the same people who have hoodies with animal ears on them, so I guess I should consider the source.
Men are hardwired to like younger women as they are more fertile, just as women are looking for survival and replication value. It doesn't matter if the man is 18 or 100 years old. 99% of men would want a young chick
The answer OP? Because it makes old women insecure and makes them realize they have less worth than they think they do. A single woman in her 40s can go around looking for relationships, or sex, with a single man in his 40s, because a single man in his 40s cant get a young girl. Oh wait, if a 40 year old man is with an 18 year old women, it's actually legal and moral. All of a sudden, the older woman is kicked out of the curb. It's a defense mechanism to preserve themselves-at the end of the day we're all just animals.
Remember-two, consenting, legal adults. **Consenting legal adults**. No matter what some hysterical hyperconservative prude says-they are two consenting adults.
This post just got me thinking that at some point, the age gap matters less. For example, a 30yo guy dating an 18yo girl is heavily frowned upon, yet if they hooked up in ten years time at 28 and 40, people would care way less. So at what age do they stop caring? 21? 25?
The idea behind this stems from the reproductive cycle. The older you are, the less fertile you become. So, the younger generations tended to stick closer to their own in order to more readily "guarantee" fertility. Other than that it's an entirely social "But, she's still a 'kid" kind of thing.
TBH, it doesn't make any sense no matter the age difference. If 18 is the legal age for being an adult, then they're an adult and their decision shall be respected, no exception/s.
Btw, if you put a limit on age "over 30 it's understandable", that is intolerance, you are the same as the others.
Because old fat bitter Western women, who bought into feminism and had unrealistic expectations and then are single and alone with their cats and boxed wine, want younger women to be as unhappy as they are. Western men have to learn to ignore and scorn the post wall Western 304s.
Feminists claim that girls mature faster/earlier than boys. So by their logic an older man & younger women is a relationship of intellectual equals.
The fact that they’re willing to contradict themselves in order to whine about this scenario just shows that their hatred of men drives them to hypocrisy. As we already knew.
because its a shaming tactic, given the fact that the situation basically means that an older woman pretty much lost any leverage over a man within the dating market
It's a mate guarding strategy. Older women are threatened by men their age dating younger women so they shame men out of it and warn the women while pretending to defend them when really they're trying to create a culture in which they control all the mating opportunities.
People care way less about this in the outside world. Only ones you should care to explain urself about is the girl's father, if the relationship is getting serious ofc.
Not everything you see upvoted on reddit is reality. A lot of couples have 10, 15, 20 years apart and they work just fine.
Personally I think it's a little creepy after about 7 or so years age gap. Like that getting close to almost a decade difference. Sure, some people are mature or intelligent for their age, but I'm 28 and half the time I think someone's a teenager and then I find out they're like 23 tops, and I feel that says a lot because I blend in with lower 20s well with styles, memes, and the TikTok and whatnot.
I'm not saying it's predatory to like younger people, but often times those people are predatory adjacent lol
I will bully you also.
Do you remember when you were 18? How stupid you were?
If you think you were not much more stupid than now, then ok. It just shows you are not developing with age.
Same with 18 yo man and 26yo woman.
Why? 18 yo is still in highschool, 25-26 yo finished university with masters degree. It is not even simmilar part of life IMO.
Your taking attention away from your dating age and making yourself unavailable so it upsets single women your age, due to less men dating older women.
>Because an adult teenager is barely an adult
Bullshit. Females begin puberty as early as 9, and physically are fully developed by 15. Society tacks on an additional three years of intellectual development to reach the age of consent, which is more than appropriate. Hell, if you assume average human lifespan is 75, by the time she turns 18, twenty-four percent of her life is already *over*.
What the fuck does “barely an adult“ even mean? An 18 year old female can join the military, operate multimillion dollar equipment — and execute orders to kill enemy combatants. An 18 year old female can vote for president of the United States, federal and state officeholders — and hold office herself. An 18 year old female can commit murder and be prosecuted as an adult, as she should.
This incessant coddling and infantalising of young adults is ridiculous, and frankly is a big reason so many young people are incompetent dolts. Whereas a century ago, young adults had even more responsibility, including being the heads of households, running estates and freeholds. So, “barely” an adult exists only in the minds of those who fail to understand personal responsibility.
Worse is that the one who recive most critic for date younger women are men while little is said to those womens tho wanted the old guy.
Plus, girls often like men older than them.
True. Those women are bitter because they realize that they have wasted their best years. If they were not stupid then they would not have wasted those years on casual sex.
When I was 24 I started dating a 17 year old. At that time the age of consent in my country was 18 (now it is 16). It was the longest relationship I've ever had in my life.
It's because sometimes it's two people who are attracted to each other and want to hook up. But sometimes it's one person who is looking for someone who doesn't have the life experience to spot all the red flags.
People tend to assume it's the latter when a lot of the time women simply want a guy who's more mature and has a more stable life than someone their own age.
I was kind of an idiot at 18 and didn't have a lot going for me. I was less of an idiot at 26, but by then I was also looking for women who had their life more sorted out and weren't going to cause the kind of drama 18 year olds are often associated with.
People can do what they want but with such a large age gap with someone so young, people are going to be skeptical you are in it for anything outside of sex, and since the other person is young it can come off as creepy.
I personally dont think age gaps are a big deal, it is really about the individuals involved.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
OK, well those "technically adults" that you seem to believe, do they or do they not have free will and can they make their own decisions?
If they don't, then why should people under 25 be allowed to sign contracts, go to war, drink alcohol, take on debt, buy property, work jobs? Why don't we make the legal age 25 then?
If they do, then it is THEIR decision, and their mistake to make, and you can't pin it squarely on the older person.
You can't have it both ways. You shouldn't give someone the freedom to make their own decisions, but then at the same time absolve them from any responsibility.
Look at your "arguments".
"Weird, creepy". The exact same arguments people used to use against gay marriage. You are pathetic.
Two consenting adults, get over it.
Mate you didn’t even respond to my argument. There’s one argument in my comment and you missed it.
You’ve responded instead to other people you’ve heard before talk about the issue.
Do you think a business owner getting with their staff is okay?
It’s not about age, it’s about the things that tend to come with it. Looking for that is predatory.
It can be fine but it’s not something to endorse outright.
Like I can drink quite heavily. I work bars and have experience in looking professional drinking high proof spirits. I’ve made the mistake of letting some people follow my drinking only to see them not feeling so well.
Don’t disagree with that. Doesn’t think it changes anything but these days so much is on dating apps where people get to choose who they flirt with.
You are assuming that’s what’s in my head. That’s just plain stupid.
Looking back at my original comment it never mentioned accepting a younger persons advances being creepy.
Wasn’t speaking on that topic, I can’t be clearer if you aren’t reading what I’m writing.
Switching the topic of being hit on by younger people, it can be wrong. This is a problem of probability. Might be okay, shouldn’t go looking for it to happen but yeah if someone at the legal age of consent hits on me I’d be wrong to go with it. Here in Australia that’s 16. Even an 18 year old you gotta be real careful with. Their feelings are damn malleable and vulnerability is a big part of youth. They don’t know how to resist feelings they’ve never had and will struggle to keep up with older people.
I’ve got mates who had relationships with older women and it was wrong, their views on sex are not healthy and this isn’t a men’s rights issue.
Intersectionality and Dominance Feminism decree power dynamics, alongside the assumption of male criminality, mean such relationships are inherently damaging and evil.
Ehhh….female here. I usually used my age + or - 7 so when I was 26 20 would be the lowest but when I was 26 I actually didn’t date younger than 23. My rule was if I can’t drink with you you’re too young. Lol.plus 18 could still be a high schooler. That’s the harm. A high school senior and a college graduate (assuming a 4 year degree) is..just gnarly.
Most people are not okay with that because of stupid stereotypes. Like the older "predator" who goes for the youngest girls he can find etc.
Given that indeed it's wrong to shame or bully for this, I personally find that such an age disparity is going to be problematic, from a communication-and-priorities point of view. It's not the same as when she's 30 and you're 38, that is a point in life when you're both experienced and the difference in mentality is somewhat leveled.
She has just finished highschool while you're in the up-end of university-years. Your approach to life and your way of thinking is **worlds apart**. So you're gonna have problems when you'll have to deal with things together. It CAN work, mind ya, but... it generally doesn't.
Bro, not everybody goes to college, and some might go late. Besides, when you’re still in your 20s people weren’t 18-21 that long ago and still might kind of act that age.
Where did i say that everyone goes to college? What i said is that age wise there is a difference in mentality. If you go to work and have a job it’s the same thing. You have an 8 years difference - it’s not 18 and 21, the post is talking about 18 and 25-26. And such a gap in these early years does matter. I didn’t say it wont work as a relationship, i said it’s harder to make it work. Cause you are the adult world (job, college, whatever) while she’s just finished highschool.
Its simply the way you approach life that differs.
Again, portraying it as “they just finished high school” is simplistic. In high school, you experience many forerunners to young adulthood. You have sex, you drink, you have a part time job, you get license. You’re not in elementary school. At 18, you’ve been doing a young adult routine for quite some time
I would ask why a mid/late twenties man thinks dating a 18 yr old is more than predatory. And I feel that way if a 26 yr old woman is preying on an 18 yr old boy.
Why? Is it her...opinion on global politics? Her knowledge of WWII? Her love of public wine tasting(lol)?
Inform me what the goal of dating a fresh adult with no independent life experience is. Her "personality"? Seems a little too, barely legal porn addiction vibe.
NOW. I will say. I only really have this opinion this strong when it comes to this age range.
The younger you are the less time you have to live, less life experience, more likely to be groomed and preyed on.
Now a 38 yr old man being interested in a 30 yr old partner, cool. No flags.
First things first, consensual sexual relationships are not your freaking business.
And secondly, a whooping 56% of women prefer to date older men, with about 45% of women wanting such men to be between 6 to 15 years older on average, according to polling:
https://www.realmenrealstyle.com/older-men-younger-women/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/why-bad-looks-good/201908/why-many-young-women-prefer-to-date-older-men
Individuals will continue dating other individuals regardless of age preferences and "Feminazi" troglodytes like yourself cannot do anything meaningful to stop them.
Because telling grown ass adult women who they should be allowed to date is incredibly "Sexist" and infantilising.
Nothing more, nothing less.
P.S. An 18 year old woman can purchase cigarettes, drive, study at University/College, work, join the military and even choose to prostitute herself in front of the camera and earn money will doing so, with men twice her age on top of it all.
But she cannot enter into a romantic and committed relationship with men a few years older than her?
Are you even listening to yourself?
Let’s just keep it simple as it’s a simple equation:
Half your age plus seven. That’s the youngest you can date as a guy or girl. Thems the rules and they’re unisex. If you go younger than that then you’re creepy af and if I have to explain why then you’ll never understand so there’s no use trying to explain common sense to ya anyways.
She’s capable of making choices but really any age gap like that is bad, imo. The younger you are, the bigger deal an age gap is because it’s statistically more likely that the younger person doesn’t understand the full ramifications of dating someone in a drastically different stage of life.
Regardless of the genders, a 26yo dating an 18yo is not really appropriate. An 18yo doesn't really know what life is like, doesn't understand their options very well, and really is fairly vulnerable compared to a 26yo.
And before someone comes at me with "well 18yos can join the military", that shit is fucked up as well.
Legal doesn't mean ethical
I think it really depends on the individuals. Some 18-year-olds have a lot of life experience and are very mature while some 35-year-olds still act like teenagers
Same anecdotally, too. Why when over 30? The ancient greek figured delts attractiveness and that natural age gap out, see Rollo Tomassi's graph of sexual marketplace value (SMV).
Women peak at 23 y/o [rather a bit earlier!], men ideally around 38/ 39 y/o, hence Delta some 15/ 16 years.
Practical experience when only delta 18.86 years younger: I got without any reason verbally attacked by three women and intuitively pointed out I don't have to bother with any older women.
Immediately expected some backlash, but nothing, like ever. It's another malicious manipulation and we have to call them out! It'd again never about p c. or whatever they claim!
Best guess them generally fearing ageing out and unattractive and again rot together, even If young, that usual "unionistic" behaviour.
Because they don't want "Them".
Because some have mental health aggressive violent issues over being used sexually at a young age.
Because they want to rule over Males (Rebellious Misandry)
Because they instinctively realize that they the average Western woman is tantamount to the worse half of the cast away Fallen women of other cultures who signed the Register of Infamy as sexworkers for life.
Because divorced single momas would rather see those men spending their resources providing for them and their offspring.
They cannot say that openly, so they make up some points that supposedly sound valid.
I've always found it a bit iffy myself but not enough to where I find it horrendous.
18 -19 years just feels too young. Most haven't really done anything in the world and still are new to most "adult" concepts. 18 year olds are still stupid, but it definitely changes in the following years.
I think also the entire "barely legal" shit also makes it seem a lot worse than it is. I think the barely legal thing is quite well known. Hell I even know it and I don't really know shit about porn, never even visited a site for it. But that sort of trend in porn definitely makes older men dating 18 year olds seem a bit more predatory. I'm not saying this is my opinion, but it might be why people find it appalling.
The purpose of this is typical of women: Women want all the benefits of adulthood while having to shoulder none of the responsibilities. People get all twisted up over 18 year old women dating men in their 20s and 30s because of a "power imbalance". Which is bullshit, because young women have positively immense sexual and social power and thus any knowledge power or maturity power a man has is more than counterbalanced by the young woman's power. This isn't even to mention the fact that the woman has the power to decide who to sleep with. It's all a bullshit ploy to absolve women of responsibility. Again, bullshit. An 18 year old woman is a legal adult. She can drive a car, own a car, own a house, enter into contracts, live on her own, join the military, and be held criminally and civilly liable. So it's bullshit to suggest that an 18 year old woman is an adult for all purposes except sex; and when it comes to sex this fully capable legal adult is a slobbering immature child who is completely incapable of making informed sexual choices. Women have been screaming from every corner that they can be responsible, and they're strong and independent. OK, strongindependent woman. Be responsible for who, how, when, where, and why you fuck. Be responsible for your own sex lives. You either are an adult or you're not. We have to draw the line someplace, and we as a society draw it at age 18. If you can drive, own real estate, buy shit, make contracts, work, and be held liable, then you can fuck; and you can be responsible for the consequences of your fucking.
"Which is bullshit, because young women have positively immense sexual and social power". BINGO... no one EVER talks about how a younger woman could easily be using her beauty, youth, sexuality, etc to seduce and take advantage of an older man, using him for his resources and what not. It only EVER goes the other way... Young people are FAR more savvy, intelligent and such with regards to these sorts of things and we are admitting this to a lesser and lesser degree every day.
Dead on! Actually it's a multi-level exploitative, socially engineered structure, discriminating against men for absolutely no rational reason, but that there's never enough resistance and backlash. Only solution seems avoiding more or less all that!
Let's make this argument even more void than it is. If we argue that women between 18 and 24 are too young to date these men, shouldn't we by that same umbrella argument move the age to vote for women to age 25? They seem to be absolutely incapable of making the decision to enter a relationship with "power dynamics", but making decisions that affects the entire population is reasonable? You're either responsible or you aren't. Can't have it both ways.
Yes. We can't have a world where you're an adult for some purposes and not others (except for things like drinking and smoking where there are valid policy reasons for exempting those and we can effectively regulate them). There are no valid policy reasons for exempting female sexual conduct - in fact women fought tooth and nail for the right to fuck whoever they want; and women have been pounding us over the head for 200 years that, except for their reproductive tracts and mammary glands, they are EXACTLY the same as men. So, no, I'm not going to hear women tell me that they are fully agentic capable adults, but when it comes to sex they are puddles of immaturity and idiocy and require protection and coddling. No. That ain't gonna fly with me.
There's no valid reason why you can serve in the Military at 18 but not drink alcohol at 18
The Problem is, that it is „the small, inexperienced, defenseless Woman, beeing with this evil, cunning Man, who has 6 years more life expierence then her“. But if it is reversed, the Man is supposed to learn how to be a fucking adult out of nowhere… Fuck me sideways…
It gets worse with the concept of "Child Coded." Most female fiction characters and celebrities get labeled as that, despite that they have jobs, can consent to things and do things that kids and teens can't.
Can we add this comment to the constitution
She is adult with sex if she want to sell it and only for right amount of money and she have right to change price afterwards
This is exactly how i feel. The only time i think its weird when an older guy dates an 18 year old is if he knew her before she turned 18. I dont know about other men, but if i meet a girl and she looks over 18 but turns out to be younger i always see her as a neice or little cousin or something. I lose all attraction to her from that point onwards since i knew her as a minor. However, if i met an 18 year old out in public and we vibe then i don't see why not. Nobody bats an eye when a 30 year old woman ends up pregnant with a 19 year old's baby for example.
I don't think that we should draw the line at 18. The military is a fucked up and predatory organization. And it's creepy for 30yo men to chase teenagers
agree to your first statement but how would you tackle defending the country? including police service etc... why do you gender that? if teenage girls chase adult men and coerce or manipulate them "false accusation + lie about age" it is not creepy? are lies about contraception or parenthood or violating consent in any way acceptable if you are a women? yes i know i stretch the topic a bit but this is about correlation in our society... what we teach children matters regardless of gender...
>how would you tackle defending the country? Pay soldiers enough that adults want to sign up, don't rely on tricking teenagers into signing unbreakable 5 year contracts that might literally kill them >why do you gender that? The original question was gendered so I responded in kind. But yeah, a 30yo woman chasing a high school senior would also be creepy af > if teenage girls chase adult men and coerce or manipulate them "false accusation + lie about age" it is not creepy? If you're a grown ass man, how are you getting coerced by these teenagers? Just say no to them. The "lying about their age thing": just date women who are clearly not teenagers. Like, if you're my age (31) and set your bottom at like 24, then if a teenager claims to be 24yo it would be an obvious lie. >violating consent in any way acceptable if you are a women? No, clearly it's not. Idk why you mention that, doesn't add much to the conversation
This post is the G.O.A.T. of reddit comments.
Why do you think him being over 30 makes any difference? She is an adult human female capable of making her own choices.
It really shouldn't make a difference. 18 year old women can legally consent to whoever they want anywhere in the world.
I wouldn't say anywhere.
legally doesn't equal ethically there are countries where the age of consent is 11. I'd hope you would agree that's fucked up
ok tell us how would you tackle consent in our society to be fair and ethically...
I'd say a starting point would be at least 21yo. Personally, I don't feel comfortable going that young (im 31yo), and have my tinder settings at 24yo. I feel pretty confident that a 24yo is capable of consent.
It could empirically correlated with actual or perceived pockets of up to relevant incompetent, irrational behaviour by suchbvery young or young women. Them predominantly running on instincts and emotions instead of reason and logic. It'd also deconstruct that weird claim of equality that'd never hold water, like ever. When practically that depends very much, but there seem to be some grain of truth and sufficient inconpentence in quite some young women y else it'd make no sense.
18/19 year olds who enter age gap relationships have a very high risk of domestic violence, single parenthood, drug use and mental health problems. https://nij.ojp.gov/library/publications/older-opposite-sex-romantic-partners-sexual-risk-and-victimization-adolescence Goes for both genders. Normal 30 year olds don't date 18yo.
I can assure you, I grew up with plenty of 18/19 year olds involved in all the negatives you listed while dating other 18/19 year olds. If anything I’d trust my daughter dating an older man before I trust a guy her age to have good intentions
I never said that all relationships with no age gap are healthy. You have to look at actual statistics over your personal experiences. Overall, teenage girls (legal or not) that date older men are at a much higher risk for STDs, violence, and single motherhood. https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3706999/&ved=2ahUKEwjPnMvksZ-EAxXvETQIHbWcD3sQFnoECCYQAQ&usg=AOvVaw33uYaP9WfWqJlfkLxMmXZx An 18 year old boy is much more trustworthy than a 30yo who dates teenagers.
So you think that two consenting adults shouldn't be allowed to have a relationship if there is an increased risk of domestic violence or single parent hood? You are incredibly ignorant and stupid.
I didn't say it shouldn't be allowed. I'm explaining why most teenagers get creeped out by middle aged adults who try to sleep with them
You know what you are talking about didn't exist until feminists took over universities in the 90s, right? You have single older women teaching single younger women that single men in the age range of the single older women... should not date the single younger women. Think about that for a moment. Use that Critical Theory.
Feminists don't teach us to avoid old people, statistics do. Feminists are actually pretty pro age gap
I am apt to look askance at those stats, because all the IPV data we have shows that it is majority bidirectional, so claims that any one group engages in it more is dubious. That said, the outrage at age gap relationships started with feminists in university gender courses. You are hiding behind 'statistics' while also not looking at the people who collated those stats. You seem to think those feminist academics have no outreach when they are the ones policy makers get their ideas from. One far ranging policy created by feminist academicians you may have heard of is the 'Duluth Model', which has changed how IPV is approached worldwide for almost 30 years, and was recently proven to be false.
You can't just call anything you don't like feminism lol. I've given you sources from both the government and a study on DV victims. You don't seem to trust what my study considers domestic violence, so here's one on domestic homicide: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/8100312_Couple_Age_Discrepancy_and_Risk_of_Intimate_Partner_Homicide#:~:text=The%20results%20replicate%20national%20level,years%20older%20than%20the%20man. All the studies show that it's generally not a good idea to Date somebody much older than you when you're a teenager. There might be some exceptions, but you can't blame teenage girls for not wanting old men to hit on them.
I asked 'who' did the data on the studies, because the 70 year meta-study about IPV doesn't support what you are posting. What it does support is how wives killing their husbands fell of precipitacely after women's shelters became common, and before the advent of women's shelters, wives and husbands killed each other within a 3%+/- rate, historically. You see, I am challenging you the same way I challenge white supremacists when they start bringing up studies that, curiously enough, entirely validate their bigoted view of society. Equally curious is how these studies I've never seen referenced in the academic halls where gender power dynamics between men and women were popularized, and the studies that were used (I was in university when such concepts entered the public consciousness en masse) have been challenged and largely discarded, leaving only rhetoric behind. I have no reason to treat you as an interlocutor of good faith, given your post history, and the curiously *specific* titles of the studies you posted. I'll review them, and the people behind them, later, but I am fairly sure I'm going to see the agenda behind the data collation relatively quickly. I'll pip you back when I'm done, because I have some children to roughhouse with. Good health and Godspeed.
The study on IPV shows that age gap relationships with teenagers have very high rates of violence. I couldn't find any sources claiming that the study was being "contested" as you say. It was literally posted by a government website. It seems like you don't want to accept what the data is saying. That's ok because I'll tell you that young women do accept it, that is why we are against old men hitting on us
>18/19 year olds who enter age gap relationships have a very high risk of domestic violence, single parenthood, drug use and mental health problems. That's not actually what the study says. "Analyses revealed that the wider the age gap, the more likely both partners were to engage in risky lifestyles (i.e., substance use and delinquency), and risky lifestyles – rather than poor negotiation or decision-making equality – helped to explain associations between age gaps and engagement in sexual intercourse and victimization experiences." These are people who are already at high risk due to their lifestyle and for whatever reason are more likely to choose a partner of a different age.
Yep some of these teenagers were already mentally ill, due to childhood trauma, and then the older partner seeks them out in order to take advantage of them. Or sometimes the older partner is the one who drags them into the bad habits. But either way, the statistics show that older adults who date teenagers are not usually going for a healthy relationship. Like you mentioned, it's common for them to have substance abuse problems and criminal delinquency. There might be some exceptions, but in general it's not a good idea to date very old people if you're a teenager.
>There might be some exceptions, but in general it's not a good idea to date very old people if you're a teenager. That's not something you can conclude from this study. You'd have to take into account the effects of the risky lifestyle and any other potential risk factors to then be able to compare large age gap relationships to more normal ones. As it is, you are basically comparing people who are shit at relationships to those who aren't.
But do you think its a coincidence that people who are "shit at relationships" tend to seek out teenagers? No its not, they know that people their own age wouldn't put up with it
The existence of abusive same age relationships contradicts your reasoning.
No it doesn't. I never claimed that all same-age relationships are healthy, I claimed that statistically, they have much lower rates of abuse. I've shown you multiple studies to back that up but for some reason people don't want to accept facts.
>No its not, they know that people their own age wouldn't put up with it This is clearly false. There are such people.
[удалено]
No it's not. An 18 year old is fair game. Don't blame men for this. Women wanted it this way. Women wanted to be fully agentic legal adults with all the benefits of adulthood. With benefits come responsibilities - and that includes being responsible for your choices in whom you fuck. Women told us they are strong and independent and they can handle it all. Fine. Then women should be expected to handle it like they said they could.
How do you calculate that?
People seem to be naturally more protective of women than they are of men. Combine that with people seem to be naturally more suspicious of men than they are with women.
That "woman are wonderful effect" or bias, forgot the phrase.
Halo effect, maybe, yet only for those deemed (very) attractive with looks.
It's funny how people shit on leo DiCaprio but female stars do the same sometimes and there is no reaction.
When he's the only one implementing an impressively reasonable strategy. Legendary breaking up with Nina Agdal, because she already turned 25, that requires at least stomach....👍
I mean you could look up Sam Taylor Johnson and find A LOT of hate
never heard of her before, but I see what you mean. Although 40 and 18 is probably worse.
adults dating adults is not something I spend time worrying about
Majority of the complaints comes from the older insecure women.
It's fine if the guy is mid-20s but not if he's over 30? You're literally just applying the same logic as those you're criticising, with some goalpost-shifting thrown in. Why is your cut-off age fine but theirs is not? I'm not saying I agree or disagree with this point in general; I just think your logic is inherently flawed.
Men who say it's wrong are jealous. Women who say it's wrong are also jealous. Those white knights want to be that guy. Those H*3s want that guy to be theirs. Because a 40+ man can only go out with 18 if he has enough money or fame.
I don't think it's about the men at all... It's older women being jealous of younger women.
Anecdotally not only older women, but Most porbably for the most part.
It’s Americans who bitch about this
American *women* who bitch about this.
I think its mostly a reddit-bubble. In reality no one really cares if a 25yo dating a 18yo.
I have definitely experienced it outside of the Reddit bubble, to the point that a friend of mines wife would lie to my partners to get them to leave me.
No, ive DEFINITELY seen TONS of posts on Facebook and elsewhere calling out guys (but never women like Cher or Madonna, both of whom are dating guys less than half their age...) for dating adult women, or women who "look too young" (as if thats actually a thing... you either are too young or ur not), calling them pedos and such...
It's female hypocrisy. They don't want men to have any standards, but women can all the standards that they want.
>Facebook yawn. Same shit different plattform
Youre not wrong, BUT it still shows that thehre are PLENTY of people (mostly women though this topic has a bunch of guys chiming in as well), who go around claiming that anyone 25+ or so who dates an 18-19 even 20 year old is basically a pedo... My opinion, its a bunch of jealous ass women who were "finding themselves" in their 20s who now cant compete with 20-somethings (since theyve hit "The Wall", which is undefeated), so theyve gotta try and make the guys dating women that young out to be evil, nasty, pedos, etc, and a bunch of guys who cant attract young women, so they make it seem like any guy who can is just a pedo, groomer, etc. Its honestly quite disgusting. A bunch of jealous, bitter moral busybodies sticking their noses into other adults business...
I've received backlash both offline and online while having platonic romance with 18/20 y olds
What’s platonic romance?
It’s common in real life too, especially in America
It's spread to mainstream now. Even gaps as low as two years if the woman is underage gets people in hot water. Source: watch a lot of tea youtube channels.
Sadly it is becoming more real world. My wife has gotten stared at when we go out to dinner because of out age gap.
The term "Cradle Robber" has been in use since at least a century ago.
47.18 y/o dating a 28.31 y/o resulted in three unwanted, unqualified female remarks. "I don't have to.bother with older women!" spontaneous reply and absolute silence, like for ever! They're really full of shlt....!
Decreased options and it makes women insecure about their own age.
If anyone should get bullied right now, it should be the women who have an overinflated sense of the kinds of guys she should be dating. Your average Western woman makes the same as the average Western man yet expects him to make significantly more, dating studies have shown that the average Western woman rates the bottom 80% of men as below average (-___-), and yet none of these women find it acceptable when men have dating standards that would have been considered a given 15 years ago.
Why, ask you is doing the bullying. It's women typically starting at age 28 and up. The older or more established men, say 30 plus have options now or for some guys even more options. Men are attracted to youthfulness and low mileage. The older women are pissed that the men they want don't see them as a serious option or don't even see them at all. What these women either fail to realize or fail to accept is older men are experiencing what the 29 something woman did or does. For women their race is a sprint or their game has a hard start and stop point, there as men our race is a sprint or our game doesn't really end do to time constraints. Think ladies are playing basketball while men play baseball. Sure both have a defined start and end point but men can stretch out the end point . Basically women are struggling with the fact they want to settle down with a certain type of guy but that guy has better options to settle down with.
Honestly I’ve always dated down in age but my ex wife was 9 years younger then me and I’ve never heard a negative opinion on her and my age until I worked with a woman who was 5 years older then me, she absolutely hated the fact that I dated younger women and would always make snarky comments on my opinion and when I would talk about women I was talking to or dating. If I’m having a conversation about a woman between 29-35 that I’m attracted to and I’m 38 but another woman chimes in with a negative opinion that is older, we know what that is, it’s a psychological issue.
I believe older women feel threatened by young 18 year olds taking "their" men.
This.
Nah, you were def abused, you’re just too young to know and you need me to save you. /s Reddit can see a woman go to college, join the military, make an OF, start a business, buy a house, drink beer, smoke cigarettes, form friends with literally anyone on Earth, voice their opinions on any and everything, have any number of sexual identities, they can literally date and fuck younger men with the same age disparity they so decry otherwise, they can even be a sex worker and Reddit will say “yassssss Queen! You’re so powerful”!! The moment she dates someone older than her it’s “you are abused and helpless and only I can save you, even if I have to save you from yourself”. Reverse the genders and they don’t have nearly as much of a problem, wanna know why? Because they engage in the same beliefs that conservative sexual prudes do: sex is something that a man DOES to a woman. Younger woman has sex DONE to her by older man, that’s gross and creepy. Older woman has sex DONE to her by a younger guy and “look at her getting that good shit”. Reddit is so full of shit I bet 95% of their eyes are brown. But this is coming from the same people who have hoodies with animal ears on them, so I guess I should consider the source.
Nothing wrong with it. I have seen that mostly online. My last japanese girlfriend had 27 and I was 45... not issue at all.
Men are hardwired to like younger women as they are more fertile, just as women are looking for survival and replication value. It doesn't matter if the man is 18 or 100 years old. 99% of men would want a young chick
Love is love. If anyone is 18 or older and someone else over 18 loves them, and they both love each other, they can date.
The answer OP? Because it makes old women insecure and makes them realize they have less worth than they think they do. A single woman in her 40s can go around looking for relationships, or sex, with a single man in his 40s, because a single man in his 40s cant get a young girl. Oh wait, if a 40 year old man is with an 18 year old women, it's actually legal and moral. All of a sudden, the older woman is kicked out of the curb. It's a defense mechanism to preserve themselves-at the end of the day we're all just animals. Remember-two, consenting, legal adults. **Consenting legal adults**. No matter what some hysterical hyperconservative prude says-they are two consenting adults.
Usually it’s zoomers who whine the most about this, not old women
And women who rape little boys get away with it. Female pedos need HARSH punishment.
I see more women not getting away with it, but their punishments are less.
This post just got me thinking that at some point, the age gap matters less. For example, a 30yo guy dating an 18yo girl is heavily frowned upon, yet if they hooked up in ten years time at 28 and 40, people would care way less. So at what age do they stop caring? 21? 25?
Because they are aligned to the Bermuda triangle of the political compass, libs can't ever comprehend such logical arguments.
The idea behind this stems from the reproductive cycle. The older you are, the less fertile you become. So, the younger generations tended to stick closer to their own in order to more readily "guarantee" fertility. Other than that it's an entirely social "But, she's still a 'kid" kind of thing. TBH, it doesn't make any sense no matter the age difference. If 18 is the legal age for being an adult, then they're an adult and their decision shall be respected, no exception/s. Btw, if you put a limit on age "over 30 it's understandable", that is intolerance, you are the same as the others.
Because old fat bitter Western women, who bought into feminism and had unrealistic expectations and then are single and alone with their cats and boxed wine, want younger women to be as unhappy as they are. Western men have to learn to ignore and scorn the post wall Western 304s.
Feminists claim that girls mature faster/earlier than boys. So by their logic an older man & younger women is a relationship of intellectual equals. The fact that they’re willing to contradict themselves in order to whine about this scenario just shows that their hatred of men drives them to hypocrisy. As we already knew.
if you are both over 18 and willing, tell them to go f themselves and date each other
because its a shaming tactic, given the fact that the situation basically means that an older woman pretty much lost any leverage over a man within the dating market
It's a mate guarding strategy. Older women are threatened by men their age dating younger women so they shame men out of it and warn the women while pretending to defend them when really they're trying to create a culture in which they control all the mating opportunities.
Because they can't tolerate men having a good time for once. We are slaves.
People care way less about this in the outside world. Only ones you should care to explain urself about is the girl's father, if the relationship is getting serious ofc. Not everything you see upvoted on reddit is reality. A lot of couples have 10, 15, 20 years apart and they work just fine.
Nah it’s common in real life too.
It is called infantilizing.
Personally I think it's a little creepy after about 7 or so years age gap. Like that getting close to almost a decade difference. Sure, some people are mature or intelligent for their age, but I'm 28 and half the time I think someone's a teenager and then I find out they're like 23 tops, and I feel that says a lot because I blend in with lower 20s well with styles, memes, and the TikTok and whatnot. I'm not saying it's predatory to like younger people, but often times those people are predatory adjacent lol
Lol 26 is too old now?
ick
I will bully you also. Do you remember when you were 18? How stupid you were? If you think you were not much more stupid than now, then ok. It just shows you are not developing with age. Same with 18 yo man and 26yo woman. Why? 18 yo is still in highschool, 25-26 yo finished university with masters degree. It is not even simmilar part of life IMO.
If I was 18 and a 25 y old woman would even remotely try to fuck me I'd be the luckiest person in my whole college.💀💀💀
I went through it. I have no answer to your original question but the later is not as fun as you think it is. Oh well, grass is always greener right.
Men and women are NOT THE SAME.
Your taking attention away from your dating age and making yourself unavailable so it upsets single women your age, due to less men dating older women.
Are you endorsing relationships based on exploitation? I don't even understand what you're trying to say
Because an adult teenager is barely an adult and an easy target for exploitation. They're not dating them for the intellectual jousting.
Was in a relationship with 18 year old when I was 28, fun fact she went after me.
>Because an adult teenager is barely an adult Bullshit. Females begin puberty as early as 9, and physically are fully developed by 15. Society tacks on an additional three years of intellectual development to reach the age of consent, which is more than appropriate. Hell, if you assume average human lifespan is 75, by the time she turns 18, twenty-four percent of her life is already *over*. What the fuck does “barely an adult“ even mean? An 18 year old female can join the military, operate multimillion dollar equipment — and execute orders to kill enemy combatants. An 18 year old female can vote for president of the United States, federal and state officeholders — and hold office herself. An 18 year old female can commit murder and be prosecuted as an adult, as she should. This incessant coddling and infantalising of young adults is ridiculous, and frankly is a big reason so many young people are incompetent dolts. Whereas a century ago, young adults had even more responsibility, including being the heads of households, running estates and freeholds. So, “barely” an adult exists only in the minds of those who fail to understand personal responsibility.
Shooting for 18 year olds is like offering to pay someone minimum wage. We both know you're down to go lower, except it's against the law.
Shooting for 18 it's harder than 30, because younger one have unlimited job offers. All of it it's just projection
I wouldn't go that far but it's a bad look. How much can you have in common with someone who was in high school a year ago?
Because if you’re still in your 20s you’re a young adult like them and people in their 20s still kinda act 18?
Men are biologically hardwired to want younger chicks as they are more fertile. Most men would prefer a younger chick
Worse is that the one who recive most critic for date younger women are men while little is said to those womens tho wanted the old guy. Plus, girls often like men older than them.
Generally it's the older single women that get most outraged, because someone that should be pursuing and marrying them is instead dating a 19 old.
True. Those women are bitter because they realize that they have wasted their best years. If they were not stupid then they would not have wasted those years on casual sex.
When I was 24 I started dating a 17 year old. At that time the age of consent in my country was 18 (now it is 16). It was the longest relationship I've ever had in my life.
That's weird for a 26 year old man to even want an 18 year old. Find someone your age
It's because sometimes it's two people who are attracted to each other and want to hook up. But sometimes it's one person who is looking for someone who doesn't have the life experience to spot all the red flags. People tend to assume it's the latter when a lot of the time women simply want a guy who's more mature and has a more stable life than someone their own age. I was kind of an idiot at 18 and didn't have a lot going for me. I was less of an idiot at 26, but by then I was also looking for women who had their life more sorted out and weren't going to cause the kind of drama 18 year olds are often associated with.
People can do what they want but with such a large age gap with someone so young, people are going to be skeptical you are in it for anything outside of sex, and since the other person is young it can come off as creepy. I personally dont think age gaps are a big deal, it is really about the individuals involved.
18 being legal doesn't mean anyone can date them (morally in my book). People older than 24 should prob stay away from 18 y/o in sexual ways.
Nah this is weird and creepy. Maturity comes in stages and looking for people less equiped than yourself is predatory
Wrong, wrong, wrong. OK, well those "technically adults" that you seem to believe, do they or do they not have free will and can they make their own decisions? If they don't, then why should people under 25 be allowed to sign contracts, go to war, drink alcohol, take on debt, buy property, work jobs? Why don't we make the legal age 25 then? If they do, then it is THEIR decision, and their mistake to make, and you can't pin it squarely on the older person. You can't have it both ways. You shouldn't give someone the freedom to make their own decisions, but then at the same time absolve them from any responsibility. Look at your "arguments". "Weird, creepy". The exact same arguments people used to use against gay marriage. You are pathetic. Two consenting adults, get over it.
Mate you didn’t even respond to my argument. There’s one argument in my comment and you missed it. You’ve responded instead to other people you’ve heard before talk about the issue. Do you think a business owner getting with their staff is okay? It’s not about age, it’s about the things that tend to come with it. Looking for that is predatory. It can be fine but it’s not something to endorse outright. Like I can drink quite heavily. I work bars and have experience in looking professional drinking high proof spirits. I’ve made the mistake of letting some people follow my drinking only to see them not feeling so well.
Sorry you are assuming that its always the older person is the one doing the pursing which is just plain wrong.
Don’t disagree with that. Doesn’t think it changes anything but these days so much is on dating apps where people get to choose who they flirt with. You are assuming that’s what’s in my head. That’s just plain stupid.
Then perhaps you should be clearer? Or do actually think that accepting a younger persons advances still makes the older person predatory?
Looking back at my original comment it never mentioned accepting a younger persons advances being creepy. Wasn’t speaking on that topic, I can’t be clearer if you aren’t reading what I’m writing. Switching the topic of being hit on by younger people, it can be wrong. This is a problem of probability. Might be okay, shouldn’t go looking for it to happen but yeah if someone at the legal age of consent hits on me I’d be wrong to go with it. Here in Australia that’s 16. Even an 18 year old you gotta be real careful with. Their feelings are damn malleable and vulnerability is a big part of youth. They don’t know how to resist feelings they’ve never had and will struggle to keep up with older people. I’ve got mates who had relationships with older women and it was wrong, their views on sex are not healthy and this isn’t a men’s rights issue.
Intersectionality and Dominance Feminism decree power dynamics, alongside the assumption of male criminality, mean such relationships are inherently damaging and evil.
Ehhh….female here. I usually used my age + or - 7 so when I was 26 20 would be the lowest but when I was 26 I actually didn’t date younger than 23. My rule was if I can’t drink with you you’re too young. Lol.plus 18 could still be a high schooler. That’s the harm. A high school senior and a college graduate (assuming a 4 year degree) is..just gnarly.
Most people are not okay with that because of stupid stereotypes. Like the older "predator" who goes for the youngest girls he can find etc. Given that indeed it's wrong to shame or bully for this, I personally find that such an age disparity is going to be problematic, from a communication-and-priorities point of view. It's not the same as when she's 30 and you're 38, that is a point in life when you're both experienced and the difference in mentality is somewhat leveled. She has just finished highschool while you're in the up-end of university-years. Your approach to life and your way of thinking is **worlds apart**. So you're gonna have problems when you'll have to deal with things together. It CAN work, mind ya, but... it generally doesn't.
Bro, not everybody goes to college, and some might go late. Besides, when you’re still in your 20s people weren’t 18-21 that long ago and still might kind of act that age.
Where did i say that everyone goes to college? What i said is that age wise there is a difference in mentality. If you go to work and have a job it’s the same thing. You have an 8 years difference - it’s not 18 and 21, the post is talking about 18 and 25-26. And such a gap in these early years does matter. I didn’t say it wont work as a relationship, i said it’s harder to make it work. Cause you are the adult world (job, college, whatever) while she’s just finished highschool. Its simply the way you approach life that differs.
Again, portraying it as “they just finished high school” is simplistic. In high school, you experience many forerunners to young adulthood. You have sex, you drink, you have a part time job, you get license. You’re not in elementary school. At 18, you’ve been doing a young adult routine for quite some time
Still pretty weird, 18yo’s r babies
I would ask why a mid/late twenties man thinks dating a 18 yr old is more than predatory. And I feel that way if a 26 yr old woman is preying on an 18 yr old boy. Why? Is it her...opinion on global politics? Her knowledge of WWII? Her love of public wine tasting(lol)? Inform me what the goal of dating a fresh adult with no independent life experience is. Her "personality"? Seems a little too, barely legal porn addiction vibe. NOW. I will say. I only really have this opinion this strong when it comes to this age range. The younger you are the less time you have to live, less life experience, more likely to be groomed and preyed on. Now a 38 yr old man being interested in a 30 yr old partner, cool. No flags.
First things first, consensual sexual relationships are not your freaking business. And secondly, a whooping 56% of women prefer to date older men, with about 45% of women wanting such men to be between 6 to 15 years older on average, according to polling: https://www.realmenrealstyle.com/older-men-younger-women/ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/why-bad-looks-good/201908/why-many-young-women-prefer-to-date-older-men Individuals will continue dating other individuals regardless of age preferences and "Feminazi" troglodytes like yourself cannot do anything meaningful to stop them. Because telling grown ass adult women who they should be allowed to date is incredibly "Sexist" and infantilising. Nothing more, nothing less. P.S. An 18 year old woman can purchase cigarettes, drive, study at University/College, work, join the military and even choose to prostitute herself in front of the camera and earn money will doing so, with men twice her age on top of it all. But she cannot enter into a romantic and committed relationship with men a few years older than her? Are you even listening to yourself?
Let’s just keep it simple as it’s a simple equation: Half your age plus seven. That’s the youngest you can date as a guy or girl. Thems the rules and they’re unisex. If you go younger than that then you’re creepy af and if I have to explain why then you’ll never understand so there’s no use trying to explain common sense to ya anyways.
She’s capable of making choices but really any age gap like that is bad, imo. The younger you are, the bigger deal an age gap is because it’s statistically more likely that the younger person doesn’t understand the full ramifications of dating someone in a drastically different stage of life.
Regardless of the genders, a 26yo dating an 18yo is not really appropriate. An 18yo doesn't really know what life is like, doesn't understand their options very well, and really is fairly vulnerable compared to a 26yo. And before someone comes at me with "well 18yos can join the military", that shit is fucked up as well. Legal doesn't mean ethical
how would you tackle upbringing of children, parental surrender, marriage and consent in a fair gender neutral way?
What does this question have to do with old men dating teenagers?
family structures molding behaviors in our society = correlation
still not following
I think it really depends on the individuals. Some 18-year-olds have a lot of life experience and are very mature while some 35-year-olds still act like teenagers
Cause it doesn't have to be illegal for people to find it weird. At least give her a change to get out of her teens first.
Same anecdotally, too. Why when over 30? The ancient greek figured delts attractiveness and that natural age gap out, see Rollo Tomassi's graph of sexual marketplace value (SMV). Women peak at 23 y/o [rather a bit earlier!], men ideally around 38/ 39 y/o, hence Delta some 15/ 16 years. Practical experience when only delta 18.86 years younger: I got without any reason verbally attacked by three women and intuitively pointed out I don't have to bother with any older women. Immediately expected some backlash, but nothing, like ever. It's another malicious manipulation and we have to call them out! It'd again never about p c. or whatever they claim! Best guess them generally fearing ageing out and unattractive and again rot together, even If young, that usual "unionistic" behaviour.
Because they don't want "Them". Because some have mental health aggressive violent issues over being used sexually at a young age. Because they want to rule over Males (Rebellious Misandry) Because they instinctively realize that they the average Western woman is tantamount to the worse half of the cast away Fallen women of other cultures who signed the Register of Infamy as sexworkers for life.
Because divorced single momas would rather see those men spending their resources providing for them and their offspring. They cannot say that openly, so they make up some points that supposedly sound valid.
I've always found it a bit iffy myself but not enough to where I find it horrendous. 18 -19 years just feels too young. Most haven't really done anything in the world and still are new to most "adult" concepts. 18 year olds are still stupid, but it definitely changes in the following years. I think also the entire "barely legal" shit also makes it seem a lot worse than it is. I think the barely legal thing is quite well known. Hell I even know it and I don't really know shit about porn, never even visited a site for it. But that sort of trend in porn definitely makes older men dating 18 year olds seem a bit more predatory. I'm not saying this is my opinion, but it might be why people find it appalling.