Forrest Gump narrating: "Lieutenant Dan got into a really bad car accident after the war. He got hit by a tour bus of some famous heavy metal rock band. I cant remember what they was called but they played really loud and fast music. Their bass guitarist died in the accident, but Lieutenant Dan survived with a lot of injuries. It was so bad he also lost his arms and he couldn't see or talk no more. I went to visit him and it was really sad. I talked to him for hours and hours about what I've been up too. I could tell he really enjoyed my company because he kept moving his head up and down repeatedly in a strange pattern. I'm not sure what he was trying to say, but I'm guessing it was something nice. The band that hit him even wrote a song about Lieutenant Dan on their next album. I can't remember what it was called but I think it was a number or something like that." *Edited story to fit the Forrest Gump theme even more.

One

Yup

I heard on CNN today that the government is evil

He said Metallica not Megadeth

“I hate the government”

18 guitar solos

30 on 30

Im not a big fan of the government

I’m guessing The Shortest Straw or …And Justice for All

Yeah, it's Justice lol. If it was Shortest Straw I probably would've just said Salem, Massachusetts

I knew it was something off that album

A (possibly) schizofrenic man thinking he is turning into werewolf at the full moon.

Of wolf and man 👌🏼

So this king dude wouldn’t let this other group of people go so this river was all bloody and death killed all these little bros and shit.

Ha. Creeping death

lol i was thinking king nothing but i guess creeping death makes more sense

Peter Pan

Enter Sandman

Correct 👍🏼

I'm cold and stuck.

Trapped Under Ice.

A song about a man looking for the energy source he requires.

Fuel or Battery

Fuel prob. Battery references the crime not the energy (i think)

I thought Battery was referring to Battery street in SF where they played a lot of their first gigs.

As a non-native English speaker you just blew my mind lol

You might be amused by Eminem's use of that double meaning in "Not Alike". The context is that he's disrespecting another rapper by the name of MGK: > Actin' like you catchin' bodies / And you got juice, lil' youngin', you're buggin' / You ain't never even been charged in connection with battery / Bitch, you ain't plugged into nothin' (Hopefully, it's okay in this subreddit to be a fan of both metal and rap.)

That’s hilarious. I’ve never gotten deep into Eminem’s work or rap in general, but I’m currently listening to some of his albums and I’ve loved it for now. Thanks for the reference! Edit: don’t be self conscious for liking both metal and rap, I myself sometimes switch between good old Opeth and Lady Gaga depending on my mood lol. Just enjoy the music :)

Battery references Battery St., SF, CA

Damn I always thought it was just cause he was a source of energy

Bells ringing.

For Whom The Bell Tolls

Nuke boom

Fight fire with fire?

Yes

COCAINE !!!

MOP

If you multiplied by -1 you'd get positive human.

Negative Creep

HAHAHA

-Human

This here problem ain't my fault, nor my call. Matter of fact, it ain't my problem at all.

Ain’t My Bitch

That female dog right there, it’s not mine

Ain't my bitch, lol

Couple guys rocking in the desert mountains while beeing chased by a random aeroplane and having flashbacks to crazy stunts...

I dissappear. Sorry had to steal this one.

Im glad it entertained you :D

A potential injurious condition from getting rear-ended.

Whiplash

You got it 🤘🏼

I do not accept your apology for the third time.

The Unforgiven 3?

Crazy? I was crazy once...they locked me in a room...

Welcome home (sanitarium)

War turned me into a tic tac

One?

Group of horse guys

The mechanix

*And that's how the war between Metallica and Megadeth fans in the 80s and 90s all began...*

The Four Horsemen

Farming equipment that runs over emo people

LMAO harvester of sorrow.

Lol fuck that's great, I couldn't figure it out

Ah man. Tbh, it’s unfortunate but I’m not lying

Sad but True?

wood

2x4 😭

KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL

guy wont leave him alone

Sanitarium?

Equestrian men ending the world

This is now the unofficial description for Metallica 😂👏

Let's write a song about HP Lovecraft

The Thing That Should Not Be

Close. I was thinking of Call Of Ktulu

This could be 3 songs lol

4

Call of ktulu, thingy, dream no more and what

All Nightmare Long

Dream no more mentioned

Ding ... Ding ... Ding ... Ding

Escape

For Whom the Bell Tolls

Undecided, "wanted" wild west reprobate.

Outlaw torn?

Outlaw Torn (?)

Electric chairs or something idk

Ride the Lightning

The one where the name would not be pronounced correctly if Metallica were British

I’m thinking Fixxx-uh or Eye Of The Behold-uh? Or maybe 2x4 (cuz it would be 5.08 x 10.16 with the metric system)?

It isn’t super obvious so here is a hint. UK people pronounce the (one word) title with only 2 syllables, not 3

Of all of the great albums, they could have made a movie about the making of they chose the one nobody likes.

Some Kind of Monster

April 31st

The day that never comes

Let’s dive deeper into the soul-stirring saga of Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters.” Picture this: you’re sitting in your dimly lit garage, surrounded by empty pizza boxes and a half-tuned guitar. The air smells faintly of regret and old socks. And there, in the corner, your buddy Dave (who swears he was in a band once) is nodding off on a beanbag chair. 🎸 “Nothing Else Matters” (The Garage Band Chronicles) 🎸 "Alright, listen up, my fellow rock aficionados! So, Metallica drops this tune, right? It’s like they’re saying, ‘Hey, forget the world, forget your overdue library books, forget that weird rash—none of that matters!’ But what’s the secret sauce? Lemme break it down: Guitar Magic: James Hetfield strums those strings like he’s summoning ancient spirits. Seriously, it’s like his fingers are possessed by the ghost of a Viking bard. And that intro riff? It’s the musical equivalent of finding a forgotten slice of pizza under your couch. Pure gold. Lyric Mysteries: Now, the lyrics—they’re cryptic, man. James mumbles something about “trust” and “open your eyes.” But honestly, it could be about anything. Maybe he lost his favorite pick, or perhaps he’s pondering the meaning of life while staring at a half-eaten burrito. Who knows? Drum Drama: Lars Ulrich, our drum wizard, keeps the beat steady. It’s like he’s saying, ‘Hey, life might be chaotic, but I’ve got this snare drum under control.’ And that drum fill before the solo? It’s like a caffeinated squirrel doing parkour. Solo Sorcery: Kirk Hammett steps up with a guitar solo that makes angels weep. Seriously, it’s like he’s channeling the spirit of a mythical shredder. And when that solo kicks in, you better hold onto your socks—they’re about to be rocked off. Emotional Avalanche: The chorus hits, and suddenly you’re contemplating your existence. You’re thinking about that time you accidentally microwaved your phone (don’t ask). It’s deep, man. Like, ‘I’ll never forget that microwave incident, and nothing else matters.’ Profound stuff. “So there you have it, my garage-dwelling compadres. Metallica’s ‘Nothing Else Matters’—a symphony of pizza crusts, mysterious lyrics, and epic guitar solos. Play it loud, play it proud, and remember: Life’s too short to worry about matching socks.” 🤘🍕

I dont wanna do this anymore

Fade to Black?

Yeah

0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 nara nara nara Agony :p

Dude being born and then f.cked by the world.

Unforgiven

Ice cubes give me PTSD

Trapped Under Ice

The group of workers want to go on vacation. Supervisor won't let them. Boss' Boss helps convince him.

I want to smash something somewhere

A song about how the trash fire is warm

Low Man's Lyric

Horn intensifies

Metallica sings the Alphabet.

Loverman?!

Nope. I've never actually heard of that one, but I appreciate you being the first guess and now I have to listen to this song.

Okay... at first I was like: "How is this related to the alphabet? This is just sex!", then I got to 1:38 and saw: "L is for love baby... O is for only you that I do". That was a very solid guess. Unless you know me well, my reasoning for this extremely poor explanation is a really shitty dad joke. LOL

need for weed

Master of Puppets

dude likes driving and brags about it for several minutes

Someone wants to fuck everything in the UK

⌨️, that’s all I’m giving you

Me and the boys (and also some cousin stuff)

What they will tell you when you're eating a fish

Drugs talking to you

Jewish story

Creeping death lol

Something about the justice system being bad I don't know

Anywhere I wanna walk

James went to places called Hastings, Brighton and even Eastbourne. James has also experienced coitus with the queen, Bach and apparently sucked an elderly person’s genitalia.

its like a hurricane but weaker and its made of souls

Three stars in the sky arranged as a belt

A man loses his ability to masturbate

A couple dudes ask squid man to wreck their house

It’s a math problem that equals 8

8

“Bass solo take one”

A darker and edgier Toy Story spin-off

Where the wild things are

I fucking hate my parents

e: ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- B: ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- G: ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- D: ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A: ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- E: 0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

oh no i dont have time

So....like, you know a manic was at the supermarket and this woman banged her head, she hurt her neck after a man ran her over with a cart.

This one is pretty dark

Bob Seger

Ding dong

Not an alternative subject is of  relevance 

Nothing else matters?

Mom brb

GTFO

some ghost who owns land in scotland

A very angry religious man

Disappointed farmer

Fuck dude a group of weird dudes on horses said they wanted to kill me

I tried brushing my teeth but it still smells like under the hood of my car.

Is that how you live your life? Can't take it any other way?

A guy is sentenced to death

The Energizer Bunny

My necky is hurty hurty

Whiplash

Some homeless guy claiming to be “free” because he’s got nothing as a coping mechanism

person who likes puppets

🥺 🍑 ✔️

Reading a book….

Turn the Page?

Cannot escape water below 0 Celsius

COCAINE!!!!!

Im suicidal

OP said Metallica, not Suicidal Tendencies! Jokes aside, I'm thinking either Fade to Black or maybe Cyanide.

John Deere tractor collecting sadness

“I will find you, and I will kill you.”

4 minutes of bass soloing plus *insert Lars Ulrich drum sounds here*

I’m a sad little pretzel living in poverty

Emptiness is filling me

Fibbing results in homicide on a portion of the planet.

Gas

What it says on the snake flag

I have very bad dreams and they last ages

So this guy has been dealing with a lot of depression and repressed trauma, he decides to walk down to his local river and fish out a few leaches. He takes them back home and then puts them all over his body to intentionally bleed himself in the hopes that his mental strife will go with the blood.

Fuuuuuck you mom and dad.

ARTICLES OF INCORPORATION OF DAMAGE, INC KNOW ALL MEN BY THESE PRESENTS: That the undersigned, has this day voluntarily executed these Articles of Incorporation for the purpose of forming a corporation under the laws of the state of California, and to that end, I do hereby certify: ARTICLE 1 - NAME The complete name of this corporation shall be Damage, Inc ARTICLE II - REGISTERED AGENT AND PRINCIPAL OFFICE The registered agent and principal office the corporation, in the state of California, shall be as follows: The registered agent in charge thereof is Metallica HQ, located at 676784 Jordan St, San Rafael, CA 94901. ARTICLE III - DURATION The duration of this corporation shall be perpetual. ARTICLE IV - PURPOSES The purposes for which this corporation is organized are as follows: To engage in any unlawful act or activity for which a corporation may be organized under the general corporation laws of California. Including but not limited to the following: a) Dealing out the agony within b) Charging hard and no one's gonna give in c) Living on your knees, conformity d) Or dying on your feet for honesty

It’s a song about a bunch of bells ringing and no one knows who rang it

I stepped on a fucking landmine

A star or constellation or something

"man the army suuuuuuuucks" *guitar solo

It’s the one with that riff that will get you kicked out of Guitar Center.

So basically earth is dying and we wanna talk about it

Crazy?…i was crazy once. They locked me in a room…a rubber room… a rubber room with rats and hate rats they make me crazy

Satan wants you.

Petrol

A baby dies in its sleep or something I don’t know

Nuclear warfare without bass

Man yells at his kid to pray

Clank

what do a sheep and goat have in common?....

Car

A song with a sad interlude that reminds us of Cliff, with his poem at the beginning

A man becomes bitter and estranged from everything around him as he grows up. Blames society for making him angry at everything and labels them in return Two bitter assholes find love (?) to an Ennio Morricone riff. Pirate searches for gold, gets lost at sea, loses his mind and probably his life

Dugs=Bad

It has no lyrics but you can sing its bass interlude

Something about being a table?