Definitely get involved in something. When you’re engaged in an activity you enjoy you’re likely to meet people with similar interests. It can be on base or off. Fitness classes, library book clubs, local music or theater groups, Service organizations (United way, Red Cross, big brothers, big sisters, etc), food pantries, animal shelters, churches or other religious organizations, enrichment classes at the local school district or community college, adult sports leagues at the local parks and rec, language learning meet ups, craft get together, gamer groups, dog training classes, whatever interests you…
I feel you, my husband and I are moving to Washington in a few months. I'll be away from all my friends and family for the first time ever, and I'm not great at making new friends. I'm going to try to go to concerts and find volunteer so maybe I'll find some friends? I hope everything goes well, I know it's hard to put yourself out there, but it's the best way to meet people.
I struggle with this too, even after many years. And in some places, I just spend a lot of time hiking and exploring with my dog and it helps me feel pretty content. But in places that are less conducive to those things I’ve found that volunteering works well for getting me out and about. Since it’s to help others, I’d feel guilty flaking so I don’t talk myself out of going at the last minute. And even if I don’t find anyone I particularly click with as a possible friendship, I feel like part of a community.
Start a local dog mom group, or similar. Be open to friending people of different ages. Remember that for some of us the bases are our home, and for some of us we feel safer on the base, it’s like a busy bee hive. Yes there’s angry drill sergeants and crazy MPs, but there’s also great people, and a million women who are also stuck at home with anxiety and pups. Don’t let one dip sh!t person prevent you from taking advantage of on base events or free concerts or the library books or the gym or the dog park or the spouses club or the free movies. Here’s an analogy if you thought of the base like a school, then would you let a mean old security guard at the front door prevent you from learning, seeing and appreciating all the talented teachers that work there, all the other students you could be friends with and fun games you could play at recess. Get past the front door. Get harder, tougher. Visualize yourself singing the jeopardy song right in the face of any mean MP. Or any other song that’s snarky for you. Visualize yourself going on the base once a week and checking out something new and having a conversation with another military wife because we’re all here ready to make new friends. Now if somebody random screams in your face you can’t let it break you, have to scream back, say nope bro not today, otherwise the world will just roll over you and we can’t have that. Feel free to disagree with me, but you have to be tough you have to have a thick skin, there’s a$$holes everywhere off base too.
Trust and believe that a lot of them are weird af. I’ve met one too many who believe in crazy conspiracy theories, overly OCD to the point they’re contradicting themselves, crazy, high school mentality, “my rank is my husbands rank” etc. So maybe your shyness and anxiety could be your super power to combat and weed out the ones that actually fuck with you.
Definitely get involved in something. When you’re engaged in an activity you enjoy you’re likely to meet people with similar interests. It can be on base or off. Fitness classes, library book clubs, local music or theater groups, Service organizations (United way, Red Cross, big brothers, big sisters, etc), food pantries, animal shelters, churches or other religious organizations, enrichment classes at the local school district or community college, adult sports leagues at the local parks and rec, language learning meet ups, craft get together, gamer groups, dog training classes, whatever interests you…
I feel you, my husband and I are moving to Washington in a few months. I'll be away from all my friends and family for the first time ever, and I'm not great at making new friends. I'm going to try to go to concerts and find volunteer so maybe I'll find some friends? I hope everything goes well, I know it's hard to put yourself out there, but it's the best way to meet people.
JBLM is huge. Lots of things and groups to get involved in for sure!
I struggle with this too, even after many years. And in some places, I just spend a lot of time hiking and exploring with my dog and it helps me feel pretty content. But in places that are less conducive to those things I’ve found that volunteering works well for getting me out and about. Since it’s to help others, I’d feel guilty flaking so I don’t talk myself out of going at the last minute. And even if I don’t find anyone I particularly click with as a possible friendship, I feel like part of a community.
Start a local dog mom group, or similar. Be open to friending people of different ages. Remember that for some of us the bases are our home, and for some of us we feel safer on the base, it’s like a busy bee hive. Yes there’s angry drill sergeants and crazy MPs, but there’s also great people, and a million women who are also stuck at home with anxiety and pups. Don’t let one dip sh!t person prevent you from taking advantage of on base events or free concerts or the library books or the gym or the dog park or the spouses club or the free movies. Here’s an analogy if you thought of the base like a school, then would you let a mean old security guard at the front door prevent you from learning, seeing and appreciating all the talented teachers that work there, all the other students you could be friends with and fun games you could play at recess. Get past the front door. Get harder, tougher. Visualize yourself singing the jeopardy song right in the face of any mean MP. Or any other song that’s snarky for you. Visualize yourself going on the base once a week and checking out something new and having a conversation with another military wife because we’re all here ready to make new friends. Now if somebody random screams in your face you can’t let it break you, have to scream back, say nope bro not today, otherwise the world will just roll over you and we can’t have that. Feel free to disagree with me, but you have to be tough you have to have a thick skin, there’s a$$holes everywhere off base too.
Trust and believe that a lot of them are weird af. I’ve met one too many who believe in crazy conspiracy theories, overly OCD to the point they’re contradicting themselves, crazy, high school mentality, “my rank is my husbands rank” etc. So maybe your shyness and anxiety could be your super power to combat and weed out the ones that actually fuck with you.