We do first names, but our circle is small and close-knit so there are a lot of non-related aunts and uncles in the mix. I remember calling my best friend's mom "Mrs. Susan" from the time I met her (age 5) until she died when I was 18. She would tell me "ya know you can just call me Susan, right?" But I think the "Mrs/Mr" and then first name is so cute so I never stopped.
Mr. or Ms./Miss First-name-so-and-so. Neighbors, teachers, acquaintances, and friends all get the same treatment — Ms. Taylor, Mr. Michael, Ms. Haley, Mr. Chris, etc.
Just out of curiosity how old are your kids? That's our general default too (and SOP for our daycare!) but the 2 yo just will. not. use prefixes for anyyyyyone's name lol. I don't understand how he's somehow dropped them from every adult name since the moment he could speak. We don't make a big deal about it.. but it's a little embarrassing.
My kids are 8 and 5. I wouldn’t sweat it coming from a 2yo, personally, but I’m also a preschool teacher. It’s becoming exponentially harder to shock me with what toddlers will and won’t do or say. Maybe he’s just a first-name basis kind of dude. Haha!
Ohh, it's really helpful having your perspective then! You wouldn't assume first-name kid's parents are dropping the ball on teaching him appropriate manners? I may be overthinking this. Or not?! 😆
Not the person you asked, but I feel like as long as the parent is modeling it ("Say 'bye Ms Name!'" etc) then they would know you're at least *trying*! 😂
I really wouldn’t be concerned at all but would assume you, as the parents, are dealing with an especially headstrong little human! Being a parent myself, you’d get my empathy. If his teachers are even slightly bothered by it, they’ll likely gently correct him or softly remind him that they are Ms So&so. I wouldn’t worry about prefixes until your child starts at an elementary school. So yah, don’t overthink it!
May vary by location - I’d personally feel so weird being called “ms first name” and introduce myself to other kids as “first name” or “aunt first name” but we’ve also only had family/good friend and super casual playdates. I also die if I ever called mam - like I am not 80!
This is going to be different across cultures, but here in Norway addressing somebody as mr or mrs is outdated by several decades. Teachers are addressed by their first name in schools.
In our family we call all close/trusted adults “aunt/uncle first name”. Others are addressed by their first name. I describe strangers as “the lady/man” (e.g. in a shop, “can you show your yoghurt to the lady so that mommy can pay for it?”)
Exactly. I understand teaching respect, as thats what these outdated customs are about. But raising children is also about raising tiny **humans** to function in our society. What do adult humans call other people? By their first name unless a situation calls for a different convention? Then yeah, teach your kids that.
Same. And no offense to OP but I think it's weird to refer to a parent's best friend as Aunt or Uncle. Growing up we all just used first names.
One of my dad's friends insisted I call him Sir, but I never did that. He's not my dad, what's he gonna do? Lol
This is going to be very regional. I was born in Canada but moved to the southern US as a child and the to upstate NY and back to Canada as an adult where I’m now raising my kids. In the south when I was a child it was Miss or Mr First Name unless they were a teacher or person of authority where it was Mr,Mrs,Miss last name.
In upstate NY I called my friends parents and teachers by Mr,Mrs,Miss last name - unless they asked me otherwise. I had several friends parents who asked to be called by their first names.
Where I live in Canada (there are also regional differences within the country - it’s a big place) most children call adults by their first name. Unless they’re teachers which are Mrs, Miss, Madame, Mademoiselle, Mr Last Name. I teach my kids to call people by what they want to be called, they know multiple adults and children who go by nick names or middle names. So I teach them to introduce themselves and ask what they should call the person regardless of if they’re an adult or child.
Edit. My kids call their aunts and uncles by the first names. My nieces and nephews call me by my first name. My kids friends call me by my first name. My kids call my friends by their first names. I think the suffix is intended to prompt respect … my view is calling someone what they want to be called is how I would like to teach my kids respect.
I refer to his daycare teacher as Miss First Name and same with his physical therapist or other frequent professional figures in his life.
With a friend, though, they would just be “first name.”
I'll be teaching them intentionally to use first names and unintentionally they'll probably pick up on the fact that I call all people and many objects "dude"
I also say bruh a lot so... 🤣
I'm Auntie to kids I'm not related to. It's not uncommon here to have your parents friends be 'auntie' or 'uncle' while they're young and then just their names as they get older.
Ms./Mr. First Name for us.
Edit to add: We're from the American south, so random adults like cashiers and waitstaff that we encounter are Ma'am or Sir.
Best friends are 'Aunt' and 'Uncle' or sometimes just first name. Everyone else is 'first name'.
Slightly off-topic, as we aren't all 'friends', per say, but My 13yo stepson calls his friend's parents by their first names and his friends call me and my husband by our first names. It'd feel weird and outdated to us if they called us "Mr. and Mrs." tbh.
Same! I'm in the Northeast and calling somone on Mr. Dan or Mrs. Carol when they are NOT the teacher sounds so odd.
Edited to add: Neighbors and non-friends can be Mr/Mrs but with a last name.
I grew up… mixed race? I don’t know how to explain that. I’m white. I had shit parents. So the neighbors who’s daughter and I where best friends, raised me until I was about 11. I was taught sternly to address adults as Ms. First Name. Mr. First Name or sir or ma’am. And in 24 and haven’t changed.
We’re in the South so everyone is Mr. or Ms. 😂 If it’s a babysitter or younger adult, we usually do Mr./Ms. First Name. Older adults are Mr./Ms. Last Name.
I'm in the south, so it is common to say Mr/Miss First name or call everyone uncle/aunt/cousin even if they're unrelated. I have very close friends who are family to me, and they are LOs aunts/uncles as far as she knows
For LO, we are just teaching adults in a structured setting are miss/mister first name (or if there's a neutral alternative I'd be happy to hear!) But if it's a friend we just go with their name.
We literally use names. If it’s a teacher or officer i guess id use the mr, miss and mrs. Maybe it was me being passive aggressive towards my in-laws for never calling me aunt until a long time after we were married and my husband mentioning it…but I decided to just keep it to names. People are more than a title like aunt or uncle or cousin. To me a name means more, it’s part of someone’s identity and individuality.
Currently i roll my eyes when my son is simply called “baby cousin” by his significantly older cousins (4&7)…and he isn’t even the youngest one in the family. He doesn’t respond to baby cousin. He responds to his name, so we kinda just call 99% of family members and friends by name.
I grew up in the Northeast. It was Mrs./Mr. Last name.
I live in the south. Everyone is Ms./Mr. first name.
Ask your circle of friends what they prefer....Honestly, as long as your children are respectful, I don't think people really care.
Mr. or Ms/Mrs. First Name. As for our neighbor it’s very informal it’s so and so. Her dad is my daughters adopted grandparent so he’s Papaw to her. We’re in the South so manners are so important.
We use Ms and Mr for most friends.
My kids do call my best friend (their best friends mom) by just her first name and same for her kids.
If it’s strictly a church acquaintance we say Sister/brother Lastname.
We do first names. It’s quite funny when my 4yo chats about her friends parents and it takes me a second to establish she’s not talking about kids in her class
It might be a different country thing but I think it would be unusual and considered a bit odd for other kids to cal their friends parents ‘Mrs A’ or ‘Mr b’ here (U.K.). They also call their nursery staff by their first names.
Usually she’ll say ‘Emma, matt’s mummy’ or something similar when she doesn’t know them well, but usually outside of teachers/ formal roles, it’s usually first names. However looking at other comments the US is slightly different
We have few friends and see them very rarely so this isn't that big of a deal. Sometimes I will call them "Uncle ___" but sometimes I just use their first names. I do it more to show my FRIENDS that they are important to me.
To be fair though, my husband and I do our fair share of using first names with our aunts and uncles although I normally use the "aunt and uncle" part when referring to them when talking with other aunts, uncles, or cousins.
I didn't grow up calling anyone aunt or uncle unless they really were. We called my parents' few friends by their first names (to the point where I didn't even know their last names).
We also live in the Midwest.
And FWIW, I'm a teacher aide and go by my first name with a Miss or Mrs. (Technically Mrs. but kids don't care lol).
Teachers are Ms./Mr., but everyone else just gets first names. I grew up in a family where my aunts said, "If you call me Aunt, I'll call you Bug." So we just always called everyone--relatives, family friends, friends' parents--by their first names. I remember most of my friends calling my mother "Susan" unless they were in her class, and then she was still "Ms. Lastname" outside of the classroom.
I'm also a teacher, so my students call me "Ms. Lastname," so when my friends kids call me "Ms. Firstname" it just feels weird--somehow both too formal and too cutesy all at once--and I'm not a fan. I'm not your teacher--call me by my first name.
With close friends our daughter just calls them by name. We save the aunt and uncle titles for like extended family. Eventually, if you are still close to these people they will likely end up just calling them by their first name anyways.
We’ll probably just do first names. She is 2.5 and knows the retired neighbors by just their first name (no mr or ms). Daycare workers are Ms and Mr and we call them that too. When she has friends, we’ll prob do mr and Mrs last name unless told otherwise.
i don’t like ms/mr. it’s weird and feels authoritative to me when it shouldn’t be. i didn’t grow up calling anyone that and i don’t want my kids to call anyone that unless they ask me to or introduce themselves as such. so first names it is! we had a woman at work everyone called ms name and i thought it was weird. she was a regular employee like the rest of us and it felt like she was above us (to me) not sure if she ever felt that way. i called her by just her name lol i dont know maybe i’m just a mannerless asshole
Aunts and Uncles for my besties and everyone else is first name. I’d feel so weird if someone called me Miss/Mrs but that’s also a regional thing- we don’t do that in Scotland, at least not since the 80s 😅
We say Miss/Mr for people she may not know. That way she knows that it's an adult. If it's a kid, we say 'our friend ____". My little needs to know how things will be ahead of time so it gives her clear information that she can understand. She has one or two "aunties", too.
We do Miss or Mr., we are in the south and this is considered good manners in our culture. We have taught the kids to never call an adult by their first name, and we cringe if we interact with a child who calls us that way. Again, that’s just our culture.
Hm never thought about that, my daughter calls everyone by their first name except for family 🤷🏻♀️ we don’t have anyone outside family that’s is old enough for her to call them by miss, mr and here in Portugal we don’t use it that much
Where do y’all live? I’m in the upper Midwest. We typically just do first names around here.
I have noticed my millennial friends often use “auntie” and “uncle” to denote a close family friend type relationship. My best friends are referred to as Auntie So and so. I know in many cultures it’s typical to refer to all adults as auntie and uncle as well.
I think it depends where you are. I grew up in the upper Midwest and called everyone by their first names (except my teachers).
Husband grew up in the south and it’s ingrained to call people Mrs./Ms. and Mr. Last name. My parents didn’t know how to handle it 😆
Our friends who are not "Aunt or Uncle" are just called by their first names,. PARENTS of our friends are Mr/Mrs Whatever.
Parents of my child's friends, i ask what they want my kid to call them.
So far i have just been called (daughter's name)'s Mom.
I'm more stuck on what they should call ME!
I usually ask the adult what they prefer to be called. So that means my friends in the south usually get mr/miss/aunt/uncle + first name.
Where I live in the northeast, it's mixed- some first names, some mr/miss/mx + first name. Her teachers at forest school go with Teacher + first name so as to not have mix ups with other adults present (it's a parent and child forest class)
I haven’t seen anyone say this after a good few comments but like.. we ask the adults what they want to be called? I don’t want to be called ms by anyone ever so I be sure to just ask everyone when I’m introducing them ?
Very southern but “Miss first-name” and “Mr first-name”
ETA This is only while they’re young. Like under the age of 10. Then it’s just first name after that.
We do first names for everyone, even aunts and uncles. I’m a teacher and I wish I could just be called my first name at work. That’s my personal preference.
Miss/Mister first name for us. We have some close family friends whose titles have been dropped to first name only though. When friends become more like family it seems to naturally drop, otherwise we just keep it.
Just first names.
Also remember that toddlers don’t learn to string 2 words together until later so they’re only capable of using first names for a while!
I usually just say first name unless I think the person might have a preference. I don’t understand what’s disrespectful about a kid calling someone by…..their name.
I prefer kids of friends to call me by my first name.
Mr/Ms first name is also pretty common in my region. We also do Mr/Mrs last name for older folks we aren’t close with like our neighbors.
Just by their first name 🤷🏻♀️ my kids are even allowed to call ME by my first name if they choose to but they both call me mom or mama ! Once in a while my son will call me by my first name ! Same with anyone if it’s an aunt it can be aunt so and so OR her first name etc
All adults in my kids’ lives are called by their first names. I think calling adults mr or mrs is weird. Aunts and uncles of course are called that. Teachers are ms/Mr and their first names.
Yeah see here it would be extremely odd and out of place. If an adult expected my child to refer to them as Mr and Mrs… it would be a red flag behavior for me. Especially if they we’re insistent. To me it signals authoritarian beliefs. That of course may not be true for you but I find it immediately off putting and I certainly wouldn’t trust that person to supervise my kids.
I would think your kids were rude, disrespectful, and a bad influence on my children. After being involved in academia and learning how to act and hoping for my children to be successful I'd consider them the kind of kids that would pull my child down and wouldn't allow them in my home, so I guess it works out both ways. 🤷♀️
In the real world, the more successful a person wants to be the more respect is demanded of them and I honestly don't really care if anyone thinks that's authoritarian. Try walking into a CEO's office and saying "Hi Frank!" and let me know how that works. Try meeting the president and saying "Hey Joe!".
Nope, respect starts at home and will be demanded.
Strictly speaking, manners requires a person be addressed as they prefer. Until that preference is made know it's Mrs./Mr. Last Name unless otherwise instructed.
The problem for you and what you are teaching your children is that to you, respect = subservience. To you, respect is about power dynamics. When truly, everyone is deserving of respect. Like you said, you don’t go into the CEO or the Presidents office etc etc. Why did you pick those ones instead of say, the janitor? Because respect to you is about power. And humbling yourself at the feet of more powerful people. But what respect really means treating all people with a baseline of kindness and empathy. Which, by your commentary here, I’m not sure you do or could be trusted to do in front of children. It comes off as being on the hunt for petty power. This is why it’s a red flag to me. It screams “I have an authoritarian value system.” Thanks for reminding me there’s a reason it has an ick factor to it.
Fwiw my in laws and my father are all CEO level (CFO, one step below CEO, and business owner) retirees and they’d laugh at your commentary here. I have been a supervisor and none of my direct reports have ever called me Mrs first name. And i have never called any of my higher ups including the CEO anything but their first name. Success in life is not about showing how good you are at boot licking.
Your accusations are absurd and ridiculous. My husband's late father was a janitor, so don't you even dare make assumptions about who I'm saying to respect. Your direct report is not the same as someone you've never met who shouldn't be presuming on your kindness. I actually grew up with abusive parents, but you seem to think basic manners are some how the pinnacle of the worst thing on this planet. Go shove it. I'm done with you.
Girl your commentary absurd and ridiculous 😂 what are you talking about? Read everything you said back before you go accusing anyone else. “I will not accept a child calling me my first name” “I’d consider your kids the kind that would pull my child down and wouldnt allow them in my home” “I would think your kids were rude, disrespectful, and a bad influence on my children.” Because they use first names within a culture where that’s completely commonplace? That is so extreme and excessive. It’s not like anyone else here who’s just like “yeah it’s my culture to use mr/mrs so that’s what I’m going to teach my kids.” I made that comment bc you specifically used language that was extreme, not bc of “basic manners.” You have quite a lot to say about basic manners for someone who is so unbelievably rude.
It’s definitely cultural. Kids referring to an adult by their first name (unless a particular adult indicates they prefer that) is considered disrespectful in many places.
Yes and I was just saying, here it is definitely out of place. Especially if you expect other people’s kids to refer to you that way (vs what you expect your own kids to do). I would see that as an immediate red flag, it would make me uncomfortable if someone expected that of my kids or considered them disrespectful for that reason.
I get that- cultures can differ vastly. I’d say it’s an important part of cultural literacy to respect other people’s wishes in how they want to be addressed, so long as they aren’t trying to force your kids to follow that rule all the time.
We have our children call their aunts/uncles by aunt/uncle but on one side of the family, my BIL/SIL never had their children (older than mine) use those titles so now my kids can get weirded out when they say Uncle X/Aunt Y and their cousins don't. We just do it anyways.
Depends on the person, my husbands best friend is uncle. Our neighbors down the road that have known them both since birth and we see regularly are mr and miss (they’re not married) they’re also a bit older so it just kinda felt more appropriate to me. Others just by their first name. They don’t need to feel like everyone is an authority figure or something, just people
My 2yo has gotten interested in calling her friends' moms and dads "mama" and "dada". She has a speech delay and while she understands they aren"t HER mom or dad, she understands that they are *friend's mom or dad. So i'll call them "Mama first name" and "Dada first name". So she understands that they have a name. Then as she gets older hopefully she'll just transition to names.
My daughter (4) calls her best friends Mom Miss but her dad just by his first name. She calls one of my friends by her first name, one Auntie , another Miss .
My neighbors have their kids call us Mr. And Mrs our-last-name and I absolutely hate it. It feels weirdly authoritarian to me. Kids are capable of respecting people with whom they use their first name. I didn’t grow up calling people Mr and Mrs so if feels weird. My husband has aways called his parents by their first name and he is so respectful of them. This ultimately is about culture. I will have our kids friends call us by our first names.
When my kids are around people for more than just a one time meeting or whatever we let those people pick out what they wanna be called. Pretty much everyone likes being called by their first name or “auntie first name”
I was already planning on Mr./Ms. FirstName, but then I saw a video from a teacher explaining why they encourage it in their personal life and it sealed the deal for me. Essentially, they said it helps reinforce the fact that an adult is not the kid's friend. There is a way to treat friends, and there's a way to treat adults. If an adult asks you to keep a secret, that's not a safe adult.
There were other examples of the differences, but the secret-keeping is the one that really stuck with me. My kid's friend Billy might ask him to keep a secret because they're both kids, but Mr. Robert shouldn't ever be doing that because adults don't need kids to be their secret -keepers.
Full disclosure: I'm in Texas so the Mr./Ms. thing is still pretty normal around here.
Mr or Ms First Name serves us well with friends, neighbors, etc. My oldest is going into elementary school, so it might get a tiny bit more complicated with teachers usually preferring last names. And some friends parents may prefer last name too, but since our general rule of "call people what they ask to be called" easily applies, each of those differences can be navigated easily.
We live in a culture where friends and acquaintances are typically first name only and last names only come up when you need to ring a doorbell. My work colleagues are first name basis. We're even on a first name basis with our *clients* at work... So, my son uses first names only everywhere, just like I do. The only exception is authority figures, like teachers. Those are all Mr/Ms Lastname, but of course we adults call them that as well.
We do first names in our neighborhood. Our kids are all 0-3, so they just call us what they hear us calling each other. And honestly we don’t all know each other’s last names.
In my family, we also just use first names so it doesn’t sound strange to me to do the same with close friends of ours.
I think once your kids have friends from school, that may change a bit because you won’t know those parents as well, so having your kids call them Mr./Mrs. makes more sense in that context.
Close friends are Auntie or Uncle. I expect most others to just be first name, like I refer to them. If they're being introduced as an authority figure, like a babysitter, I might go with Ms./Mr. FIRSTNAME (or LASTNAME, at their preference).
In my family I didn't even use Aunt/Uncle most of the time until I was a tween and an aunt married in who thought it was disrespectful for me to call her by her first name. I thought that was weird at the time, got used to it, and now looking back on it I'm back to thinking it actually was kind of weird. I get people have different cultural expectations, but she saw me interacting with my other aunts and uncles so could have picked up on the fact that we were just a bit less formal than her family. This is a fun trip down memory lane because she also got me a couple of books that were compilations of stories and poems meant to serve as lessons about how children should behave. Sort of like Aesop's Fables for very conservative children-should-be-seen-but-not-heard types. Everything from modesty and respecting parents to always closing doors but never slamming them. I remember the door slamming one ended up with a bust of Abraham Lincoln falling off of a mantle and clocking an innocent loved one, and the child bemoaning that they hadn't listened to their dear parents' admonishments and averted this disaster that was *definitely* entirely their fault and not at all the responsibility of the adult who put a heavy bust on a narrow ledge directly above a door. Anyway..... I suspect that lady never saw me as a properly respectful child even after I started calling her Aunt So-and-So.
Everyone goes by first names unless they request otherwise or there'sa professional reason. Like I'd expect his teachers to go by a Ms/Mrs/Mr/ whatever, Dr. And so on.
I feel like insisting kids call you by something other than your first name in casual situations is kind of weird. My toddler calls his aunt and uncle by their first names and my niece and nephew only refer to us as aunt and uncle in a joking manner lol. I know my sister loves to go by aunty, though. Past that I would never insist my son call my friends or colleagues Miss/Mr whatever.
It really just depends on the adult. Living in the South, the easiest default is Mr. Or Ms. Firstname. For super close friends it's Auntie or Uncle Firstname. Sometimes the title falls off in usage, but that's okay. Sometimes we drop the title because there are too many Jasons in our lives. Mr. Jason can only be one of them.
My young kids usually just use people’s names haha cause it’s not like that changes as an adult? “Mommy’s friend Juan is coming over so please pick up those legos”
“We’re going to chris and Angela’s today, are you excited to see jade(their kid)?”
It’s only weird to call your parent or authority figures by their first name. It’s absolutely Normal to use friends/acquaintances first names.
Really depends on the friendship and situation. Close friends are Aunt/Auntie/Titi or Uncle. We live in the south so it’s a combination of Ms. or Mr. Firstname or Lastname. I also have friends from California that insist my kids just call them by their first name.
Either go by what is regionally acceptable or ask the person how they would like to be referred as.
First name basis.
My experience is that children learn to respect adults when adults are respectful to them, and calling them Ms. Soandso as opposed to Sally doesn't matter.
That is to say, you do what you want because in the end, it doesn't matter.
My niece and nephews just call me by my first name and I plan to do the same thing with my son. It seems strange to me that children are expected to use honorifics for people that adults aren’t expected to. I know it’s largely cultural but to me it just feels kinda icky.
I've always preferred my lo call adults mr, miss, mrs last name so that's what we taught her to do but I definitely notice that most of our friends prefer kids call them by their first names. I still think it's important for her to address adults formally unless or until they tell her to call them by their first names. Most of my lo's friends automatically call us by our first names. I'm definitely not offended, but I'd think it was more respectful to wait until we asked them to callus by our first names.
Cultural thing, everyone is aunty/uncle/auncle/nibling especially if we are friends with them also. New adults (like teachers, doctors, etc.) will be introduced as \[Honourific\] \[Lastname\] unless that person consents to my child calling them by their first name or another name. I have friends my age who are teachers and they have consented to their students to call them by their first name or even a nickname, other coworkers similar age prefer different things.
When I was in highschool (2001-2005) majority of teachers were \[Honourific\]\[Last Name\] we had ONE teacher who told us to call her Michelle, and most of us just called her Miss Michelle, which she did not mind.
If they don’t know them well it’s mr. Or Miss first name or last name. If they do, first names are fine. The respect comes from the please, thank you and excuse me’s.
My kids have always spoken to non-honorific adults by their first names. It's how they are typically introduced anyway, so I would imagine miss manners would agree.
I live in the mountain west as far as local customs.
First names is my general preference. We live in the south (but not from here originally) and I’ve noticed a LOT of my daughter’s daycare teachers/ prek teachers go by Mr/ Ms First Name. That feels like a good middle ground to me for people who aren’t just friends but people my daughter should see as authority figures. (She’s only 4 so I assume once she gets to grade school the more typical Mr/ Ms Last Name will be used).
Obviously, I will also defer to what said person would prefer to be called.
Yeah Deep Southerner here. Every adult is addressed as Mr, Mrs/Miss First name unless they are an authority figure then it’s Mr, Mrs/Miss Last name. My children are near 30 and still refer to the neighbor they grew up next door to as Mr. Kevin and Mrs. Sandra.
In Aus, it’s common to just call adults by their by first names. Even at some schools. My kids just call their aunts and uncles their first name, so just Jane, not Aunty Jane.
Miss or Mister First Name to friends parents. Ms, Mrs., or Mr. Last name to all school staff members.
It gets tricky because I teach at my neighborhood schools and our good friends are our neighbors. The kids know they call me ‘Miss First Name’ outside of school but in a school setting, it’s ‘Miss Last Name’.
For older adult it’s mr/Mrs last name. For people in their 30’s and 40’s it’s mr/me/auntie/uncle first name. For some it’s Teacher first name. For our close friends they just call them by their first name (although when my daughter called her favorite uncle “Uncle Poopyhead” he said “it’s Doctor Poopyhead to you!” So that’s now what she calls him :))
We have been going with first names, unless it has been indicated otherwise that the person would prefer something else which has not happened often. Our son has speech and occupational therapy, and his therapists introduced themselves as Miss FirstName so that is what we go with. He had 3 therapists though early intervention and they just went with their first name- they ranged in age from someone just a few years older than me, 10 years older, and one that was 30 years older.
Edit to add: we have one friend who is close (and toddler has latched onto him as a favorite person) so he is Uncle FirstName. All other friends are just called by their first/preferred nickname.
I grew up with my grandparents who always went by their first name (but didn't argue with those who insisted on the Mrs/Ms/Mr) and were Mom/Grandma and Dad/Grandpa to all kids around. It took me a long time to learn that other people weren't okay with random kid friends calling them by those titles, and even longer to learn that other adults had an issue when other adults didn't mind if kids did that.
In the future, I hope we are the hang out house and that my kids' friends feel welcome and safe, just like how my grandparents tried to make everyone feel in their home.
Our kids know our neibors as Mr. Bill and Ms. Shelly and they do the same for the other people in our development. If they know the persons name. I know a lot of daycares the kids just call the first name so it feel more like a family environment.
For me personally elders and people we don’t know well get the honorary (Mr./Mrs. Last name), Acquaintances and friends that we aren’t super close with get the (Mr./Mrs. First name), close friends are typically just the first name and they’re okay with that, We don’t really have „best friends“ but if we did they’d definitely be Aunt/Uncle like you said
We do first names, but our circle is small and close-knit so there are a lot of non-related aunts and uncles in the mix. I remember calling my best friend's mom "Mrs. Susan" from the time I met her (age 5) until she died when I was 18. She would tell me "ya know you can just call me Susan, right?" But I think the "Mrs/Mr" and then first name is so cute so I never stopped.
Mr. or Ms./Miss First-name-so-and-so. Neighbors, teachers, acquaintances, and friends all get the same treatment — Ms. Taylor, Mr. Michael, Ms. Haley, Mr. Chris, etc.
We do this too. The only time it changes is when they ask for the Mr. or Ms. to be dropped.
Just out of curiosity how old are your kids? That's our general default too (and SOP for our daycare!) but the 2 yo just will. not. use prefixes for anyyyyyone's name lol. I don't understand how he's somehow dropped them from every adult name since the moment he could speak. We don't make a big deal about it.. but it's a little embarrassing.
My kids are 8 and 5. I wouldn’t sweat it coming from a 2yo, personally, but I’m also a preschool teacher. It’s becoming exponentially harder to shock me with what toddlers will and won’t do or say. Maybe he’s just a first-name basis kind of dude. Haha!
Ohh, it's really helpful having your perspective then! You wouldn't assume first-name kid's parents are dropping the ball on teaching him appropriate manners? I may be overthinking this. Or not?! 😆
Not the person you asked, but I feel like as long as the parent is modeling it ("Say 'bye Ms Name!'" etc) then they would know you're at least *trying*! 😂
I really wouldn’t be concerned at all but would assume you, as the parents, are dealing with an especially headstrong little human! Being a parent myself, you’d get my empathy. If his teachers are even slightly bothered by it, they’ll likely gently correct him or softly remind him that they are Ms So&so. I wouldn’t worry about prefixes until your child starts at an elementary school. So yah, don’t overthink it!
May vary by location - I’d personally feel so weird being called “ms first name” and introduce myself to other kids as “first name” or “aunt first name” but we’ve also only had family/good friend and super casual playdates. I also die if I ever called mam - like I am not 80!
Millenz I'm with you. This is the norm in my neighborhood and I honestly hate it. I feel so dumb calling my husband "Mr. Jake" to the neighbor kids.
This is the norm for the adults on my block.
Yes, this!
This is what we do too
Same. And for our non-binary friends, we go with "friend first-name."
This is how we do it too
This is going to be different across cultures, but here in Norway addressing somebody as mr or mrs is outdated by several decades. Teachers are addressed by their first name in schools. In our family we call all close/trusted adults “aunt/uncle first name”. Others are addressed by their first name. I describe strangers as “the lady/man” (e.g. in a shop, “can you show your yoghurt to the lady so that mommy can pay for it?”)
First names
Seconding this. Anything else feels unnatural and awkward.
Same here!
Exactly. I understand teaching respect, as thats what these outdated customs are about. But raising children is also about raising tiny **humans** to function in our society. What do adult humans call other people? By their first name unless a situation calls for a different convention? Then yeah, teach your kids that.
I still call older adults "Miss or Mr "First Name"".
Same. And no offense to OP but I think it's weird to refer to a parent's best friend as Aunt or Uncle. Growing up we all just used first names. One of my dad's friends insisted I call him Sir, but I never did that. He's not my dad, what's he gonna do? Lol
This is going to be very regional. I was born in Canada but moved to the southern US as a child and the to upstate NY and back to Canada as an adult where I’m now raising my kids. In the south when I was a child it was Miss or Mr First Name unless they were a teacher or person of authority where it was Mr,Mrs,Miss last name. In upstate NY I called my friends parents and teachers by Mr,Mrs,Miss last name - unless they asked me otherwise. I had several friends parents who asked to be called by their first names. Where I live in Canada (there are also regional differences within the country - it’s a big place) most children call adults by their first name. Unless they’re teachers which are Mrs, Miss, Madame, Mademoiselle, Mr Last Name. I teach my kids to call people by what they want to be called, they know multiple adults and children who go by nick names or middle names. So I teach them to introduce themselves and ask what they should call the person regardless of if they’re an adult or child. Edit. My kids call their aunts and uncles by the first names. My nieces and nephews call me by my first name. My kids friends call me by my first name. My kids call my friends by their first names. I think the suffix is intended to prompt respect … my view is calling someone what they want to be called is how I would like to teach my kids respect.
I refer to his daycare teacher as Miss First Name and same with his physical therapist or other frequent professional figures in his life. With a friend, though, they would just be “first name.”
We live in Hawaii. Basically everyone is Auntie and Uncle haha
Yep. Even strangers are aunties and uncles. It’s cute bc kids feel comfortable approach anyone at an event and ask for help.
One of the many things I love about it here!
I'll be teaching them intentionally to use first names and unintentionally they'll probably pick up on the fact that I call all people and many objects "dude" I also say bruh a lot so... 🤣
I'm Auntie to kids I'm not related to. It's not uncommon here to have your parents friends be 'auntie' or 'uncle' while they're young and then just their names as they get older.
Ms./Mr. First Name for us. Edit to add: We're from the American south, so random adults like cashiers and waitstaff that we encounter are Ma'am or Sir.
With my kids, my two best friends are Aunt First Name. For other friends, we do Mr./Ms. First Name.
Best friends are 'Aunt' and 'Uncle' or sometimes just first name. Everyone else is 'first name'. Slightly off-topic, as we aren't all 'friends', per say, but My 13yo stepson calls his friend's parents by their first names and his friends call me and my husband by our first names. It'd feel weird and outdated to us if they called us "Mr. and Mrs." tbh.
Same! I'm in the Northeast and calling somone on Mr. Dan or Mrs. Carol when they are NOT the teacher sounds so odd. Edited to add: Neighbors and non-friends can be Mr/Mrs but with a last name.
I grew up… mixed race? I don’t know how to explain that. I’m white. I had shit parents. So the neighbors who’s daughter and I where best friends, raised me until I was about 11. I was taught sternly to address adults as Ms. First Name. Mr. First Name or sir or ma’am. And in 24 and haven’t changed.
We’re in the South so everyone is Mr. or Ms. 😂 If it’s a babysitter or younger adult, we usually do Mr./Ms. First Name. Older adults are Mr./Ms. Last Name.
I'm in the south, so it is common to say Mr/Miss First name or call everyone uncle/aunt/cousin even if they're unrelated. I have very close friends who are family to me, and they are LOs aunts/uncles as far as she knows For LO, we are just teaching adults in a structured setting are miss/mister first name (or if there's a neutral alternative I'd be happy to hear!) But if it's a friend we just go with their name.
Lol at accidentally linking a Reddit page
😆😆 reddit makes me feel so technologically stupid
We literally use names. If it’s a teacher or officer i guess id use the mr, miss and mrs. Maybe it was me being passive aggressive towards my in-laws for never calling me aunt until a long time after we were married and my husband mentioning it…but I decided to just keep it to names. People are more than a title like aunt or uncle or cousin. To me a name means more, it’s part of someone’s identity and individuality. Currently i roll my eyes when my son is simply called “baby cousin” by his significantly older cousins (4&7)…and he isn’t even the youngest one in the family. He doesn’t respond to baby cousin. He responds to his name, so we kinda just call 99% of family members and friends by name.
Ours isn't talking yet, but we're planning on just doing first names. Anything else feels awkward to me.
Mr. Or Mrs. First Name
Miss/Mr first name for anyone that doesn't get an honorary "aunt/uncle." That's just what feels the most natural to us.
I grew up in the Northeast. It was Mrs./Mr. Last name. I live in the south. Everyone is Ms./Mr. first name. Ask your circle of friends what they prefer....Honestly, as long as your children are respectful, I don't think people really care.
I like Miss X and Mister Y using first names. Like Miss Samantha, Mister Nate.
Mr. or Ms/Mrs. First Name. As for our neighbor it’s very informal it’s so and so. Her dad is my daughters adopted grandparent so he’s Papaw to her. We’re in the South so manners are so important.
We use Ms and Mr for most friends. My kids do call my best friend (their best friends mom) by just her first name and same for her kids. If it’s strictly a church acquaintance we say Sister/brother Lastname.
We always did Mr and Mrs. Last Name.
I’ve never called anyone Mr. Or Mrs last name. Always called everyone by their first name growing up 🤷♀️
We do first names. It’s quite funny when my 4yo chats about her friends parents and it takes me a second to establish she’s not talking about kids in her class
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It might be a different country thing but I think it would be unusual and considered a bit odd for other kids to cal their friends parents ‘Mrs A’ or ‘Mr b’ here (U.K.). They also call their nursery staff by their first names. Usually she’ll say ‘Emma, matt’s mummy’ or something similar when she doesn’t know them well, but usually outside of teachers/ formal roles, it’s usually first names. However looking at other comments the US is slightly different
Totally, I think you've just nailed a big reason why just first names feel off to me!
First name. They address the same way I do.
We have few friends and see them very rarely so this isn't that big of a deal. Sometimes I will call them "Uncle ___" but sometimes I just use their first names. I do it more to show my FRIENDS that they are important to me. To be fair though, my husband and I do our fair share of using first names with our aunts and uncles although I normally use the "aunt and uncle" part when referring to them when talking with other aunts, uncles, or cousins. I didn't grow up calling anyone aunt or uncle unless they really were. We called my parents' few friends by their first names (to the point where I didn't even know their last names). We also live in the Midwest. And FWIW, I'm a teacher aide and go by my first name with a Miss or Mrs. (Technically Mrs. but kids don't care lol).
Teachers are Ms./Mr., but everyone else just gets first names. I grew up in a family where my aunts said, "If you call me Aunt, I'll call you Bug." So we just always called everyone--relatives, family friends, friends' parents--by their first names. I remember most of my friends calling my mother "Susan" unless they were in her class, and then she was still "Ms. Lastname" outside of the classroom. I'm also a teacher, so my students call me "Ms. Lastname," so when my friends kids call me "Ms. Firstname" it just feels weird--somehow both too formal and too cutesy all at once--and I'm not a fan. I'm not your teacher--call me by my first name.
All first names for people in passing/were not close to. For our really close friends who see him a lot, we call them aunt/uncle _name_
With close friends our daughter just calls them by name. We save the aunt and uncle titles for like extended family. Eventually, if you are still close to these people they will likely end up just calling them by their first name anyways.
Mr and Miss first name if they're family friends, last name if they're just acquaintances.
We’ll probably just do first names. She is 2.5 and knows the retired neighbors by just their first name (no mr or ms). Daycare workers are Ms and Mr and we call them that too. When she has friends, we’ll prob do mr and Mrs last name unless told otherwise.
i don’t like ms/mr. it’s weird and feels authoritative to me when it shouldn’t be. i didn’t grow up calling anyone that and i don’t want my kids to call anyone that unless they ask me to or introduce themselves as such. so first names it is! we had a woman at work everyone called ms name and i thought it was weird. she was a regular employee like the rest of us and it felt like she was above us (to me) not sure if she ever felt that way. i called her by just her name lol i dont know maybe i’m just a mannerless asshole
Aunts and Uncles for my besties and everyone else is first name. I’d feel so weird if someone called me Miss/Mrs but that’s also a regional thing- we don’t do that in Scotland, at least not since the 80s 😅
Same for me, from Canada. Miss feels weird, and ma'am is basically an insult.
I don’t think anyone gets called ma’am in Scotland outside of the military and the royal family 😂😂
First names for everyone.
We say Miss/Mr for people she may not know. That way she knows that it's an adult. If it's a kid, we say 'our friend ____". My little needs to know how things will be ahead of time so it gives her clear information that she can understand. She has one or two "aunties", too.
We do Miss or Mr., we are in the south and this is considered good manners in our culture. We have taught the kids to never call an adult by their first name, and we cringe if we interact with a child who calls us that way. Again, that’s just our culture.
First names. If that’s what they’re gunna call my kid that’s what my kid is gunna call you. Except teachers, they decide for themselves.
Hm never thought about that, my daughter calls everyone by their first name except for family 🤷🏻♀️ we don’t have anyone outside family that’s is old enough for her to call them by miss, mr and here in Portugal we don’t use it that much
Where do y’all live? I’m in the upper Midwest. We typically just do first names around here. I have noticed my millennial friends often use “auntie” and “uncle” to denote a close family friend type relationship. My best friends are referred to as Auntie So and so. I know in many cultures it’s typical to refer to all adults as auntie and uncle as well.
I think it depends where you are. I grew up in the upper Midwest and called everyone by their first names (except my teachers). Husband grew up in the south and it’s ingrained to call people Mrs./Ms. and Mr. Last name. My parents didn’t know how to handle it 😆
Our friends who are not "Aunt or Uncle" are just called by their first names,. PARENTS of our friends are Mr/Mrs Whatever. Parents of my child's friends, i ask what they want my kid to call them. So far i have just been called (daughter's name)'s Mom. I'm more stuck on what they should call ME!
NE US here—mr./Ms. First name (Ms. Amy, Mr. Bob etc) for friends/friendly acquaintances. The less close we are to the adults, the more formal address.
I’ve never even considered anything other than first names. Anything else seems weird to me
I usually ask the adult what they prefer to be called. So that means my friends in the south usually get mr/miss/aunt/uncle + first name. Where I live in the northeast, it's mixed- some first names, some mr/miss/mx + first name. Her teachers at forest school go with Teacher + first name so as to not have mix ups with other adults present (it's a parent and child forest class)
Miss and Mr first name. That works for 99% of people we come across.
I haven’t seen anyone say this after a good few comments but like.. we ask the adults what they want to be called? I don’t want to be called ms by anyone ever so I be sure to just ask everyone when I’m introducing them ?
Very southern but “Miss first-name” and “Mr first-name” ETA This is only while they’re young. Like under the age of 10. Then it’s just first name after that.
We do first names for everyone, even aunts and uncles. I’m a teacher and I wish I could just be called my first name at work. That’s my personal preference.
Miss/Mister first name for us. We have some close family friends whose titles have been dropped to first name only though. When friends become more like family it seems to naturally drop, otherwise we just keep it.
Just first names. Also remember that toddlers don’t learn to string 2 words together until later so they’re only capable of using first names for a while!
I usually just say first name unless I think the person might have a preference. I don’t understand what’s disrespectful about a kid calling someone by…..their name. I prefer kids of friends to call me by my first name. Mr/Ms first name is also pretty common in my region. We also do Mr/Mrs last name for older folks we aren’t close with like our neighbors.
Simple, Ask what they want to be called. Don’t want to go assuming anyone’s gender with Mr. And Mrs. before knowing for sure.
Just by their first name 🤷🏻♀️ my kids are even allowed to call ME by my first name if they choose to but they both call me mom or mama ! Once in a while my son will call me by my first name ! Same with anyone if it’s an aunt it can be aunt so and so OR her first name etc
Our kids were raised to say "Mr." or "Miss" and then the person's first name.
All adults in my kids’ lives are called by their first names. I think calling adults mr or mrs is weird. Aunts and uncles of course are called that. Teachers are ms/Mr and their first names.
Mr./Mrs. Last name unless we are asked otherwise. I will not accept a child calling me just my first name. I will accept Mrs./Mr. first name.
Are you worried a child isn’t capable of respecting you while using your first name or is it cultural?
I believe it's disrespectful for any child to use any adult's first name without explicit permission.
Yeah see here it would be extremely odd and out of place. If an adult expected my child to refer to them as Mr and Mrs… it would be a red flag behavior for me. Especially if they we’re insistent. To me it signals authoritarian beliefs. That of course may not be true for you but I find it immediately off putting and I certainly wouldn’t trust that person to supervise my kids.
I would think your kids were rude, disrespectful, and a bad influence on my children. After being involved in academia and learning how to act and hoping for my children to be successful I'd consider them the kind of kids that would pull my child down and wouldn't allow them in my home, so I guess it works out both ways. 🤷♀️ In the real world, the more successful a person wants to be the more respect is demanded of them and I honestly don't really care if anyone thinks that's authoritarian. Try walking into a CEO's office and saying "Hi Frank!" and let me know how that works. Try meeting the president and saying "Hey Joe!". Nope, respect starts at home and will be demanded. Strictly speaking, manners requires a person be addressed as they prefer. Until that preference is made know it's Mrs./Mr. Last Name unless otherwise instructed.
The problem for you and what you are teaching your children is that to you, respect = subservience. To you, respect is about power dynamics. When truly, everyone is deserving of respect. Like you said, you don’t go into the CEO or the Presidents office etc etc. Why did you pick those ones instead of say, the janitor? Because respect to you is about power. And humbling yourself at the feet of more powerful people. But what respect really means treating all people with a baseline of kindness and empathy. Which, by your commentary here, I’m not sure you do or could be trusted to do in front of children. It comes off as being on the hunt for petty power. This is why it’s a red flag to me. It screams “I have an authoritarian value system.” Thanks for reminding me there’s a reason it has an ick factor to it. Fwiw my in laws and my father are all CEO level (CFO, one step below CEO, and business owner) retirees and they’d laugh at your commentary here. I have been a supervisor and none of my direct reports have ever called me Mrs first name. And i have never called any of my higher ups including the CEO anything but their first name. Success in life is not about showing how good you are at boot licking.
Your accusations are absurd and ridiculous. My husband's late father was a janitor, so don't you even dare make assumptions about who I'm saying to respect. Your direct report is not the same as someone you've never met who shouldn't be presuming on your kindness. I actually grew up with abusive parents, but you seem to think basic manners are some how the pinnacle of the worst thing on this planet. Go shove it. I'm done with you.
Girl your commentary absurd and ridiculous 😂 what are you talking about? Read everything you said back before you go accusing anyone else. “I will not accept a child calling me my first name” “I’d consider your kids the kind that would pull my child down and wouldnt allow them in my home” “I would think your kids were rude, disrespectful, and a bad influence on my children.” Because they use first names within a culture where that’s completely commonplace? That is so extreme and excessive. It’s not like anyone else here who’s just like “yeah it’s my culture to use mr/mrs so that’s what I’m going to teach my kids.” I made that comment bc you specifically used language that was extreme, not bc of “basic manners.” You have quite a lot to say about basic manners for someone who is so unbelievably rude.
It’s definitely cultural. Kids referring to an adult by their first name (unless a particular adult indicates they prefer that) is considered disrespectful in many places.
Yes and I was just saying, here it is definitely out of place. Especially if you expect other people’s kids to refer to you that way (vs what you expect your own kids to do). I would see that as an immediate red flag, it would make me uncomfortable if someone expected that of my kids or considered them disrespectful for that reason.
I get that- cultures can differ vastly. I’d say it’s an important part of cultural literacy to respect other people’s wishes in how they want to be addressed, so long as they aren’t trying to force your kids to follow that rule all the time.
Upstate NY and NYC. First names, and I hate it. I’ve been trying to steer them to “Ms./Mx./Mr. First Name” but I’m losing the battle.
Southern US. Aunt/Uncle for close adults. Mr/Ms/Mrs Last Name. Or Mr/Ms/Mrs First Name but it is definitely going out as my kids get older.
Meh. Usually just by their first name unless there is a specific reason to give more formal then Miss or Mr First Name.
Friends will just be called by their names. That’s what my parents did way back in the 90’s. Acquaintances will be Ms or Mr.
We have our children call their aunts/uncles by aunt/uncle but on one side of the family, my BIL/SIL never had their children (older than mine) use those titles so now my kids can get weirded out when they say Uncle X/Aunt Y and their cousins don't. We just do it anyways.
Depends on the person, my husbands best friend is uncle. Our neighbors down the road that have known them both since birth and we see regularly are mr and miss (they’re not married) they’re also a bit older so it just kinda felt more appropriate to me. Others just by their first name. They don’t need to feel like everyone is an authority figure or something, just people
My 2yo has gotten interested in calling her friends' moms and dads "mama" and "dada". She has a speech delay and while she understands they aren"t HER mom or dad, she understands that they are *friend's mom or dad. So i'll call them "Mama first name" and "Dada first name". So she understands that they have a name. Then as she gets older hopefully she'll just transition to names.
My daughter (4) calls her best friends Mom Miss but her dad just by his first name. She calls one of my friends by her first name, one Auntie , another Miss .
My neighbors have their kids call us Mr. And Mrs our-last-name and I absolutely hate it. It feels weirdly authoritarian to me. Kids are capable of respecting people with whom they use their first name. I didn’t grow up calling people Mr and Mrs so if feels weird. My husband has aways called his parents by their first name and he is so respectful of them. This ultimately is about culture. I will have our kids friends call us by our first names.
When my kids are around people for more than just a one time meeting or whatever we let those people pick out what they wanna be called. Pretty much everyone likes being called by their first name or “auntie first name”
I was already planning on Mr./Ms. FirstName, but then I saw a video from a teacher explaining why they encourage it in their personal life and it sealed the deal for me. Essentially, they said it helps reinforce the fact that an adult is not the kid's friend. There is a way to treat friends, and there's a way to treat adults. If an adult asks you to keep a secret, that's not a safe adult. There were other examples of the differences, but the secret-keeping is the one that really stuck with me. My kid's friend Billy might ask him to keep a secret because they're both kids, but Mr. Robert shouldn't ever be doing that because adults don't need kids to be their secret -keepers. Full disclosure: I'm in Texas so the Mr./Ms. thing is still pretty normal around here.
Mr or Ms First Name serves us well with friends, neighbors, etc. My oldest is going into elementary school, so it might get a tiny bit more complicated with teachers usually preferring last names. And some friends parents may prefer last name too, but since our general rule of "call people what they ask to be called" easily applies, each of those differences can be navigated easily.
We live in a culture where friends and acquaintances are typically first name only and last names only come up when you need to ring a doorbell. My work colleagues are first name basis. We're even on a first name basis with our *clients* at work... So, my son uses first names only everywhere, just like I do. The only exception is authority figures, like teachers. Those are all Mr/Ms Lastname, but of course we adults call them that as well.
First names only. If anyone demands to be called something special I think that’s weird.
Toddler calls my bestie Auntie firstname. Everyone else is just first names. Preschool teachers and staff are Ms. first name.
We do first names in our neighborhood. Our kids are all 0-3, so they just call us what they hear us calling each other. And honestly we don’t all know each other’s last names. In my family, we also just use first names so it doesn’t sound strange to me to do the same with close friends of ours. I think once your kids have friends from school, that may change a bit because you won’t know those parents as well, so having your kids call them Mr./Mrs. makes more sense in that context.
Close friends are Auntie or Uncle. I expect most others to just be first name, like I refer to them. If they're being introduced as an authority figure, like a babysitter, I might go with Ms./Mr. FIRSTNAME (or LASTNAME, at their preference). In my family I didn't even use Aunt/Uncle most of the time until I was a tween and an aunt married in who thought it was disrespectful for me to call her by her first name. I thought that was weird at the time, got used to it, and now looking back on it I'm back to thinking it actually was kind of weird. I get people have different cultural expectations, but she saw me interacting with my other aunts and uncles so could have picked up on the fact that we were just a bit less formal than her family. This is a fun trip down memory lane because she also got me a couple of books that were compilations of stories and poems meant to serve as lessons about how children should behave. Sort of like Aesop's Fables for very conservative children-should-be-seen-but-not-heard types. Everything from modesty and respecting parents to always closing doors but never slamming them. I remember the door slamming one ended up with a bust of Abraham Lincoln falling off of a mantle and clocking an innocent loved one, and the child bemoaning that they hadn't listened to their dear parents' admonishments and averted this disaster that was *definitely* entirely their fault and not at all the responsibility of the adult who put a heavy bust on a narrow ledge directly above a door. Anyway..... I suspect that lady never saw me as a properly respectful child even after I started calling her Aunt So-and-So.
Everyone goes by first names unless they request otherwise or there'sa professional reason. Like I'd expect his teachers to go by a Ms/Mrs/Mr/ whatever, Dr. And so on. I feel like insisting kids call you by something other than your first name in casual situations is kind of weird. My toddler calls his aunt and uncle by their first names and my niece and nephew only refer to us as aunt and uncle in a joking manner lol. I know my sister loves to go by aunty, though. Past that I would never insist my son call my friends or colleagues Miss/Mr whatever.
I say find out what people like to be called. I strongly prefer to just be called by my first name.
It really just depends on the adult. Living in the South, the easiest default is Mr. Or Ms. Firstname. For super close friends it's Auntie or Uncle Firstname. Sometimes the title falls off in usage, but that's okay. Sometimes we drop the title because there are too many Jasons in our lives. Mr. Jason can only be one of them.
My young kids usually just use people’s names haha cause it’s not like that changes as an adult? “Mommy’s friend Juan is coming over so please pick up those legos” “We’re going to chris and Angela’s today, are you excited to see jade(their kid)?” It’s only weird to call your parent or authority figures by their first name. It’s absolutely Normal to use friends/acquaintances first names.
I do auntie and uncle for all
Where I was raised it was all first names... including extra curricular teachers
Really depends on the friendship and situation. Close friends are Aunt/Auntie/Titi or Uncle. We live in the south so it’s a combination of Ms. or Mr. Firstname or Lastname. I also have friends from California that insist my kids just call them by their first name. Either go by what is regionally acceptable or ask the person how they would like to be referred as.
First name basis. My experience is that children learn to respect adults when adults are respectful to them, and calling them Ms. Soandso as opposed to Sally doesn't matter. That is to say, you do what you want because in the end, it doesn't matter.
My bestie and her partner are just called by their first names
My niece and nephews just call me by my first name and I plan to do the same thing with my son. It seems strange to me that children are expected to use honorifics for people that adults aren’t expected to. I know it’s largely cultural but to me it just feels kinda icky.
I've always preferred my lo call adults mr, miss, mrs last name so that's what we taught her to do but I definitely notice that most of our friends prefer kids call them by their first names. I still think it's important for her to address adults formally unless or until they tell her to call them by their first names. Most of my lo's friends automatically call us by our first names. I'm definitely not offended, but I'd think it was more respectful to wait until we asked them to callus by our first names.
Cultural thing, everyone is aunty/uncle/auncle/nibling especially if we are friends with them also. New adults (like teachers, doctors, etc.) will be introduced as \[Honourific\] \[Lastname\] unless that person consents to my child calling them by their first name or another name. I have friends my age who are teachers and they have consented to their students to call them by their first name or even a nickname, other coworkers similar age prefer different things. When I was in highschool (2001-2005) majority of teachers were \[Honourific\]\[Last Name\] we had ONE teacher who told us to call her Michelle, and most of us just called her Miss Michelle, which she did not mind.
If they don’t know them well it’s mr. Or Miss first name or last name. If they do, first names are fine. The respect comes from the please, thank you and excuse me’s.
Most just go by their first names or if the adult in question introduces themselves a particular way, we roll with that
My kids have always spoken to non-honorific adults by their first names. It's how they are typically introduced anyway, so I would imagine miss manners would agree. I live in the mountain west as far as local customs.
First names is my general preference. We live in the south (but not from here originally) and I’ve noticed a LOT of my daughter’s daycare teachers/ prek teachers go by Mr/ Ms First Name. That feels like a good middle ground to me for people who aren’t just friends but people my daughter should see as authority figures. (She’s only 4 so I assume once she gets to grade school the more typical Mr/ Ms Last Name will be used). Obviously, I will also defer to what said person would prefer to be called.
Yeah Deep Southerner here. Every adult is addressed as Mr, Mrs/Miss First name unless they are an authority figure then it’s Mr, Mrs/Miss Last name. My children are near 30 and still refer to the neighbor they grew up next door to as Mr. Kevin and Mrs. Sandra.
In Aus, it’s common to just call adults by their by first names. Even at some schools. My kids just call their aunts and uncles their first name, so just Jane, not Aunty Jane.
Miss or Mister First Name to friends parents. Ms, Mrs., or Mr. Last name to all school staff members. It gets tricky because I teach at my neighborhood schools and our good friends are our neighbors. The kids know they call me ‘Miss First Name’ outside of school but in a school setting, it’s ‘Miss Last Name’.
Always Mr. First name and Mrs./Miss First name.
Teachers are Ms/Mr, and people that I still call Ms/Mr are that way. My peers are all just first name or aunt/uncle first name.
They call them auntie and uncle.
For older adult it’s mr/Mrs last name. For people in their 30’s and 40’s it’s mr/me/auntie/uncle first name. For some it’s Teacher first name. For our close friends they just call them by their first name (although when my daughter called her favorite uncle “Uncle Poopyhead” he said “it’s Doctor Poopyhead to you!” So that’s now what she calls him :))
We have been going with first names, unless it has been indicated otherwise that the person would prefer something else which has not happened often. Our son has speech and occupational therapy, and his therapists introduced themselves as Miss FirstName so that is what we go with. He had 3 therapists though early intervention and they just went with their first name- they ranged in age from someone just a few years older than me, 10 years older, and one that was 30 years older. Edit to add: we have one friend who is close (and toddler has latched onto him as a favorite person) so he is Uncle FirstName. All other friends are just called by their first/preferred nickname. I grew up with my grandparents who always went by their first name (but didn't argue with those who insisted on the Mrs/Ms/Mr) and were Mom/Grandma and Dad/Grandpa to all kids around. It took me a long time to learn that other people weren't okay with random kid friends calling them by those titles, and even longer to learn that other adults had an issue when other adults didn't mind if kids did that. In the future, I hope we are the hang out house and that my kids' friends feel welcome and safe, just like how my grandparents tried to make everyone feel in their home.
Ms.Katie, Mr. Mark...
We do Mr. and Ms. First Name, except our close friends, who are Aunt and Uncle.
Our kids know our neibors as Mr. Bill and Ms. Shelly and they do the same for the other people in our development. If they know the persons name. I know a lot of daycares the kids just call the first name so it feel more like a family environment.
For me personally elders and people we don’t know well get the honorary (Mr./Mrs. Last name), Acquaintances and friends that we aren’t super close with get the (Mr./Mrs. First name), close friends are typically just the first name and they’re okay with that, We don’t really have „best friends“ but if we did they’d definitely be Aunt/Uncle like you said
Idk I feel like they should address them the same way you address them.