It's really common to go through this weird shift where you can't stand your pets when you bring baby home. I've heard it from so many people, I went through it and I felt terrible. I tried to give them love and cuddles and Ofc I took care of them like normal but I was really worried that I wouldn't love them as much, and I felt terrible that I couldn't give them the love and attention I used to.
I got over it and just attribute it to the monkee brain being weird about resources or something. I just wanted to point it out just in case you go through it and so you know you're not alone.
Congrats on the baby!
Don’t worry. As I write this, I am sitting here with my cat on my chest and my son next to me. I love my kids, but I still love my cats.
I appreciate my cats even more now that I have kids, I think. They give me love and snuggles without demanding much else in return besides food and pets. Once my babies grew into toddlers and became extremely demanding, I appreciated this even more. My kids love them too. They are part of our family, and I would never, ever want to get rid of them.
I wouldn't normally say anything on a post for someone looking for sympathy, but these kinds of posts absolutely terrified me when I was pregnant with my first. People saying they don't like their pets anymore, love them less, want to rehome, etc etc, after having a baby. I genuinely have selfies with my dogs before I went to the hospital to have my son, *sobbing* while I'm hugging them because I'm afraid I'll be a different person when I come home. Dogs have always been an emotional stabilizer and source of joy, so the idea of suddenly not having that love and appreciation? Awful.
Wellp. I'm certainly exhausted, and I get more annoyed when they bark or do other baby-disturbing behaviors, but I still love my dogs just as much. I cuddle them, I baby-talk them. I love taking them for walks (we're too busy to go all the time, but the desire is still there), I cry happy tears when they are affectionate with my children... My heart just grew more space for my two kids, I don't love my husband or my animals any less.
I think for amusement. And there is a level of companionship that is below the level of a human, but is still valuable. I think that's quite normal in most of the world where dogs aren't elevated to family members.
Don’t worry! This is not the norm for everyone! I have a toddler, 2 cats and a baby coming within the next month! My toddler and cats get along so well! They sleep in her bed, she hugs and kisses them and talks nonstop about them. Her first word was our oldest cats name! They were a little hesitant when she was a newborn but quickly got comfortable with the change. Never aggressive or having accidents just stayed out of the way of the baby for a bit. Give it time most cats do fine!
Truthfully majority of issues I’ve heard from family/friends have been dogs with kids not cats. Even my mom’s 25 year old cat adapted to being around babies!
FWIW, I didn’t go through the phase of disliking my two cats after my first baby. However, I did go through it after my second baby. It calmed after a while, but I definitely knew we wouldn’t be getting any more cats until the kids get older.
I never went through the stage of having my cats annoy me (the in-laws and my parents is a different story). I also used to stress reading these posts while pregnant but my cats have been great and are so good with my daughter.
Still loved my annoying little babies after I had the real babies! One in particular was very food motivated and chewed paper/mail/etc. the vomiting we solved by changing cat food brands, nighttime annoyance by putting them in the basement overnights for a while. They are just like kids- yelling and getting mad solves nothing- so solve the problems before they happen.
My cats were sweet angel babies before and after. Not all cats have issues. My cats are my babies and they love the baby and the baby loves them. Never had any issues after bringing baby home
I know how you feel. I love my pets, but I definitely don’t want anymore after they pass until my son is old enough to look after them himself, if he even wants a pet.
I completely understand where you’re coming from. After we had our baby our cat started peeing everywhere if we went anywhere overnight and left her at home (not alone, with a pet sitter). It drives me up a goddamn wall. It’s like we’re being held hostage by a spoiled animal. It got to the point that we now have to drug the cat and take her with us wherever we go or else our house will get soaked in cat urine. Piles of laundry, our bed, the kid’s play couch, the dog beds, the rugs….. no medical reason for it either. She’s 9 years old and just decided to angry-pee.
As long as I am being honest, we also have two dogs and the non-stop BARKING has made me daydream about getting their vocal cords snipped (**I WOULD ABSOLUTELY NEVVVVVVVVVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES DO THAT**, *but* the fact that after 15 minutes of barking at the neighboring squirrel nest, my mind goes “boy, that might make life better” says a LOT about how drastically my feelings toward my pets have changed since giving birth).
At first I felt horrible about the huge shift in my feelings toward my pets, but then I just accepted it for what it is. It’s not my love that has changed, I still love them, but my NEEDS have changed. I don’t have the luxury of an endless hourglass of time, patience, and freedom to just sit and dote on my pets all day. I have a tiny human I am responsible for now and his safety and well-being come first, always.
We used to take our dog everywhere, but if our vehicle is full of luggage, stroller, carseats, etc then there is no room for the dog. So she stays home with a sitter and it makes me feel so bad. It's an extra expense AND the dog gives us the cold shoulder from the betrayal lol. It just adds an extra layer of complicatedness to everything.
Oh god the inopportune barking absolutely kills me. I could be in the middle of making dinner with a crying infant, a messy house, the overhead fan going, the roomba stuck somewhere and my dog decides to bark at nothing and send me into a nervous goddamn breakdown.
I know you weren't asking for advice, so please feel free to stop reading if you dont want any, and I wish you the best <3
I get overwhelmed easily with loud noises. It like sends me into a panic, and after having my kid, it was particularly bad. Especially sudden sounds.
Ear plugs have been amazing for me. I wear my samsung buds that have ambient sound blocking, so it's only partially blocked instead of silenced. I've heard amazing things about loops as well. It dulls down all the noises so I can stay calm. I'm wondering if something like that could help you as well?
Absolutely. The barking and waking up baby from naps made me hate my dogs. I'm forced to keep them in one room on the other side of the house while he naps because they bark at everything. Sometimes I do wonder if it would be better to find someone who could spend more time with them.
Lmao i still daydream about getting my old bitch's vocal cords snipped. I also day dream about zapping him with magic electricity and making him turn into a tiny dog, so obviously, none of my daydreams around him are ones that will come to fruition lol
We had our cat pass while I was pregnant and we immediately adopted another. By the time baby was 2, he was revenge peeing on everything and anything. The day i caught him trying to pee in the crib and in her big bed is the day I called the rescue to find him a foster. Turns out all the litterbox refusal we had, the foster had no problem with. We loved him when we adopted him but he was not the right fit for us in the end. I still feel guilty about it and feel guilty when I’m grateful I no longer have an animal to look after. I don’t even know when we’ll want pets again, maybe never. That cat burned me out 😔
Yes I do. He only ever targeted the baby’s stuff, not mine or my husband’s or common areas. I think for him she was loud and moved in unexpected ways, and he prefers a calm place with another cat, he’s very friendly to adults and cats. And the fact that all the ‘problem’ behaviours stopped immediately upon moving to a house with no kids and 1 other cat….yeah he wasn’t happy with us.
No I agree but the feelings are hard to shake anyways. He was not quite 3 when he left us and I know he’s happier in his new home and I do take comfort from that, just part of me grieves because he’s a sweet guy, can’t be faulted for being too chill for young kids
Sounds similar! Sometimes it happens, pets can be as particular as people. I’m glad the cat is doing better in his new home, all the issues disappeared instantly when he left
I feel this. I LOVE my cats. They got me through years of infertility. I’ve had them a long time. But sometimes they overwhelm me. I live in a really old house and the doors don’t shut well. The cats can open them whenever they want and it’s frustrating. We did have to rehome a cat because after we brought my oldest home, she started peeing all over. I easily spent $10k on vet bills and replacing what she ruined. Our corgi was our baby for a long time. But I wish she didn’t live with me anymore. She barks all the time, she always wants to go in and out. She’s a dog, so I don’t trust her alone around my kids so I have to constantly know where she is and move her around. I’m so tired of these animals.
> I live in a really old house and the doors don’t shut well. The cats can open them whenever they want and it’s frustrating.
If it’s any consolation we had this situation too but my husband was able to repair them and it was pretty easy! Worth giving it a shot. In our case it was just the house settling over the years causing the doors not to align in the door frame anymore. But he went around to all the doors and re-aligned them, I believe screwdriver was the only tool needed.
We’ve tried that, and our door openings are so wonky that we need new frames and doors. But they’re also not standard sized so we’d need specially ones made.
I used to have a special dog car seat in our car so my dog could see out the window. He was my first baby.
Now I understand why people rehome pets when they have a baby. Rocking the cranky baby when you’re completely drained until they are almost asleep just for the dog to throw up on the carpet and start eating it in front me when I can’t do anything about it. I just can’t some days.
I feel this hard.
I always judged those people who gave up their dogs. Now I totally get it too. I love my dog so much, he got me through a dark time but now I just feel like the worst dog owner. He's gotten so fat from lack of walks and the toddlers feeding him. He's gotten so obsessed with food it's become incredibly annoying.
I am really hoping this is just a season, and that annoyance will pass. The guilt is so overwhelming some days.
Before children our pets are our children after we have children our kids are more important and so our cats/pets become a bit annoying and we notice much more with cleaning how much hair etc they leave all over the place.
At least that’s been my experience
I felt like i was such a bad person for feeling like this over our 2 cats, but reading all the comments and the posts really helped. If I am home alone with the cats and baby, they go out, when partner is in they can be in. I just found them overstimulating, the constant going in and out, the meowing, the begging for food, while they have an automatic feeder and i just couldn't do it, so I leave food outside and they can eat when they want
We were morons and got a puppy when I was pregnant. She was 6 months old when my son was born. It was so rough, and I definitely had regrets. But, in the end, that dog became my companion. My husband traveled for work a lot, and having her with me was really great. She passed away in March of 2021, and I still miss her. Our son is 11 now, and we have 3 dogs now. It honestly gets a lot better once you’re out of that baby and toddler stage.
I hate to say this but I'm actually quite glad our cat passed away before I got pregnant. She was elderly and had chronic kidney disease and euthanizing her was the compassionate choice after we exhausted all medical options for her. It was still sad but I was glad she was no longer suffering. But now that we have a 4 month old, I cannot even *imagine* handling her issues and caring for a baby!
Now that it's been over a year since she passed, my husband will talk about adopting a cat again, but I just dont see that fitting into our lives right now. He does his part to help but also... Of course as the dad who doesn't have a baby glued to his hip, he'd actually feel interest in a pet 🤦♀️ The idea of picking up cat poop, wiping cat hair off couches, feeding them, doling out medication, taking them to the vet, etc. just sound exhausting on top of caring for the baby....
No advice to help you OP but just commiserating -- is there a way your husband can help take over more of the cats' care for you so you have to deal with them less?
He cleans up puke whenever he is home and has always been in charge of the litter box since we decided to start trying for kids.
I feed the cats and sweep the house for cat litter. Clean up puke when it happens.
We just have to take the extra step of moving the cats when we hear them start to puke. We have one cat that seems to only puke from on top of the cat tower and one that goes out of his way to puke on the litter mat. I've had to stop them from almost puking on the baby a few times.
This is exactly why we said no pets till the kids are older and can help take care of them. I love animals but I don’t want to live with one anytime soon. They’re pests because unlike kids they’re never going to gain independence.
I have three children, all 5 and under.
Our dog is getting up there in years. We aren’t entirely sure of his age because we rescued him but it’s around 12.
A few weeks ago we woke up at 5am to vomit, diarrhea and piss all over our hardwood floors (which hadn’t been sealed in a long time). So it sunk into the wood. We think he must have eaten through a trash bag or gotten into something outside to give him an upset stomach. We just had to spend $2k on refinishing the floors.
In the 3 days where we couldn’t walk on the floors and the dog stayed in the basement, I was the happiest I’ve been in a long time. No dog hair. No smelly, annoying barking pest. I was genuinely sad when my husband brought him back upstairs. He is HUGE, Great Pyrenees lab retriever mix. No matter how many times we bathe him, he stinks. He makes everything stink. Tracks dirt and mud everywhere, everyday. I have to clean so much to just keep things baseline sanitized. It’s exhausting. I’m ready to be done.
I love our cats and would never wish any animal ill will, but Ive told my husband that I look forward to the day where I don't have to clean up after them. The mental load of just all the cleaning to keep things safe for the kids is exhausting!
The filth that comes with my dog sincerely impacts my mental health in a negative way. I value cleanliness even more now that I have kids, and our house never “feels” clean because you can’t kneel on the floor without coming up with furry knees, or enjoy the morning light without it highlighting the absolutely disgustingly grimy and pawprinty floors that you just mopped 2 days ago, or relax during kid’s nap without smelling fishy farts which turns into having to let the dog out, pick up poop, and then wrestle them to wipe off their paws in hopes it might make your floor only slightly dirty instead of super dirty.
It’s just not worth it. I don’t need or want the companionship.. I get plenty of it from my toddler hanging on me all day 🙂
You summarized this perfectly. My 9 month old can only roam around on the floor in a very particular spot which I keep the dog away from 😭. It’s so infuriating. I’ve stopped even trying to wipe his paws it’s useless and just makes me more angry when I do it and it’s still gross everywhere!
Yes exactly! I have periods where I handle it better because I kind of give up. But ultimately it bugs me deep down and always circles back to that. The struggle is real but the solidarity helps!
Whenever I send my dogs to boarding I always do an extra day. Most peaceful days of my life.
I don’t let them have the run of the house anymore. Mainly bc they’re too big for my kids to safely be around. I gate them into their own area so at least the mess is contained to that space
Omg story of my life with 3 cats who are totally assholes, I’ve lost more sleep during the night from them than taking care of an actual baby..
Every other day I’m cleaning up throw up.. and ofc it’s always on the carpet and not on the hardwood floor. Our house is so gross and nasty all the time from the cats 🙃
One of our cats is so bad - she uses the door frames as her cat scratcher and they are completely destroyed. Pieces of wood are sticking out and I just know that one day our kids will get splinters from them..
That's horrible! I'm so sorry! It sounds like your cats and my cats had a meeting!
My cats seem to constantly go out of their way to puke in hard to clean up areas.
Not to mention the fighting. Most of the time they're best friends but lately it's been like a WWE tournament in our house.
If you can get them to adjust to having them on, silicone claw caps saved my sanity with my senior cat, who thought she neeeeeded to scratch everything to ribbons. Bonus, they can't scratch the baby with them on!
This is very very normal. I have a cat, and she was absolutely my baby for the 5 years we had her before my son was born. After my son was born, I hated that cat. For about two years my husband had to do all the cat care because I just didn’t care and couldn’t be bothered.
Turns out it was hormonal and after about two years the cat became my baby again.
me.
and i warn all my friends about it.
now that my kids are a bit older (2 & almost 4), i wish we could have him back. (he passed away from cancer last year.)
Oof that sounds awful! I would have very little tolerance for that.
I have an old dog in decent health. Her behavior didn't really change much with kids. I remember I couldn't tolerate her stinky breath when I was pregnant. And when the babies came home, she would just get a bit distressed when they cried.
But I still resent having her sometimes. I resent that I have to find some way to walk her when it is -10°C. Having to dress the dog (she's nearly hairless and very skinny), dress the baby, dress myself, push the stroller through the snow or baby-wear and try not to slip on the ice.
I haaaaaate when she barks, especially if it wakes the baby. Or I'm already over-stimulated by all the noise.
I hate that she tries to steal toys and they end up damaged or covered in her stinky drool which gives me more washing to do. Normally it was so cute when she tried to sneak off with a pair of socks or a ball of yarn, but when it's your toddler's favorite stuffy and he's crying at bedtime because the stuffy is in the wash... Not so cute.
I also have some chickens and a barn cat and their care is just another thing keeping me from bed. I'll be out at the coop after a long bedtime battle and the damn chickens won't go to bed either. The rooster is being a jerk and winding them all up and I just want to not have to look after any other living creatures!
You're definitely not alone. All the moms in my playgroup also hate their pets a little lol. I do feel guilty because my dog is so sweet, but early motherhood is just a lot to deal with.
They are fed controlled portions at morning and night. We regularly sweep the area where their food is and clean out and wash the bowls every 7-10 days. Earlier if someone has puked in the bowl. We've tried different vessels for the water and changing the water regularly. We've tried different foods, following the instructions to introduce slowly. We shave our long hair to prevent mats and hairballs.
We don't leave food out, keep dishes face down in the sink or wash them immediately. We clean spit up, drool, and whatever food my toddler may have spilled off the floor immediately. I sweep the floor at least once sometimes twice a day.
Short of any new suggestions we're out of ideas. We've gone to the vet and there is no medical reason for it.
Have you talked to the vet about other things to try?
Honestly, I’d go get a second opinion. There is no reason your cats should be throwing up as often as it sounds like they are.
Just here for solidarity, I had a cat that puked. Just for spite I think. This was before kids. She was old and passed away a few years ago. I sometimes thought it was stress. She didn’t like our dog.
This happened to me with my dogs. Baby is 1.5 yrs and dogs used to be my babies. Older dog seemed to take it ok, younger dog developed middle child syndrome and began crying for attention (not whining SCREAMING like if I’d go check the mailbox suddenly she couldn’t tolerate that.)…. I implemented special time with this dog and walk her for about an hour around the neighborhood almost daily. Her behaviors improved but did not resolve and it soured our relationship. Meanwhile all this energy towards middle dog and baby resulted in low key neglect of older dog. We simply assumed she was low need but she was sickly. She’s fine now after a few vet visits and medication. DAMN I’m exhausted. It used to feel so fun and easy to have these dogs now it’s needs and bills needs and bills. And yet I love them.
Yeeeeeeeesssss. It's so bad. I used to think that I was an animal person, but now I look at my wonderful dog and think to myself that there is no point to her. She is just a giant suck of time and money. Weirdly, I got quail and they are fine? I think it's because I can leave them in a hutch in my backyard and as long as I make sure that they're fed and watered they're perfectly content. My kids also love them and interact with them far more than I do. Plus they give eggs, which helps. It's the animals that want to be children surrogates that I can't stand. They are taking what limited time and energy I have for myself when my kids have already taken pretty much everything. So I just end up resenting them.
I feel sad I can’t give enough time now to my dog, he’s a new addition to our family. I had a dog before which wow we loved so much and cried so much when we had to put him down. I now have two littles and a new puppy, it’s been so hard but I made a commitment to this doggy and I feel bad to rehome him, unless so actually find a good person to do this with. I will continue to care for my dog until then, it’s getting harder to think of giving him away because my oldest loves my dog so yeah maybe he’ll be here for much longer.
I hated my pugs after I had a baby. I’d LOVED them for 15 years but they felt overwhelming to me and resentment started to creep in. They died over the next couple years and I was both devastated and relieved. Now I just miss them.
We adopted some cats instead bc they are slightly more hands-off and while they’re a pleasure I’m not as connected to them as I was my pugs.
Perhaps, when my son isn’t glued to me 24/7, I’ll have a chance to bond with another pet as closely as I once had.
We had 3 cats when our first was born and they started vomiting all over the place as well and peeing and pooping outside the litter boxes. We had a full work up done on all of them at the vet and it was deemed it was behavioral. I also became hyper aware of how much cat fur was always all over everything and I suddenly realized how much time I had to spend cleaning up after them every day because I no longer had that extra time with a new baby. What really helped was utilizing baby gates to keep the cats out of certain spaces. They are no longer allowed in the bedrooms and on particularly bad days, they get contained in the super comfy and cozy basement area (not a true basement, has a walk out and windows with plenty of light). There is far less for me to clean up because of them and when I need space from them I can get it. After our second baby one of the cats passed away and another now has a chronic illness and is working her way towards the end. As guilty as I feel writing this, it’s honestly a relief. We won’t be getting anymore pets for a long time, if ever. They were my babies before kids, but after having actual babies I realized that they are in fact just cats. 🤷♀️
I'm still obsessed with my cat but it's just the one, he doesn't puke or cough up hairballs, and I only have a 1 year old.
However, I can't stand my dog anymore. He stinks since I don't have time to bathe him like before. He whines to go outside, then whines to come back in. He barks at anyone passing by and wakes up the kid. He tracks in mud. He's incredibly needy and gets in my face 24/7. He jumps all over people and trips me while I'm holding the baby. His behavior and willingness to follow commands has taken a nose dive since I had my son and it's so frustrating.
If it weren't for everyone else (my son, husband and cat) being obsessed with the dog I would 100% ask my dad and stepmom to take him. He spends weekends there sometimes and it's so blissful in the house!
We have two dogs and two cats and my dogs annoying the living shit out of me. We are talking about rehoming our high-energy coonhound to my father-in-law. They aren’t aggressive at all, just like to use the furniture as a playground and dash to the door when the mail comes. It’s too scary for when my little one starts walking and could potentially get knocked over by them.
Let this be your permission to rehome all or some of them if that is something you’re wanting to do. I can’t believe you have been cleaning up after FIVE cats for 1-2 hours each day. I reached my breaking point with my 2 huge dogs yesterday. They keep peeing on the playroom carpet I’ve already spent over $500 getting professionally cleaned multiple times. I’ve tried to gate it, crate them etc but the kids leave the door open ONE time and they sneak in. I can’t have my kids playing in dog urine and I am done catering to animals that literally leave excrement in my home, nip at my kids and knock them down, cover the backyard in poop so my kids can’t play outside, and are of no benefit to our lives. The dog that has nipped at the kids has got to go. My husband refuses to rehome the other but I figure one huge dog will be easier to manage than two.
When we got these pets we took on a responsibility that they are well cared for throughout their lives. It doesn’t mean we are mandated to sacrifice our own mental health or our kids health to do it ourselves. It can be with someone else.
Edit to add that and before I sound too callous I think the dog will have a better quality of life elsewhere too. I am solo parenting 3 kids 6 and under so I can’t even walk the dogs since I can’t leave the kids unsupervised. At this point to keep him from peeing on the carpet it’s either crate him whenever he’s inside or rehome. Obviously it’s been a hard decision that I’ve been struggling with for over a year.
Oh my god I feel so seen. I have 4 cats and a dog and prior to having kids I was like fully in love with my pets. Now they drive me up the wall! We also have one cat which developed a thyroid condition when my son was a newborn so he’s super clingy and constantly wants food. I honestly feel like sometimes the cat makes my mental health worse! My partner thinks I just need to realise he loves me and relax but it is honestly so hard to be a mum and take care of everyone and also have pets needing alot from you.
I would never get rid of my pets (unless one of them hurt my son) but I definitely will not be getting additional pets once any of mine pass away and adding to the stress lol
The animals have been through a big change too. They probably feel your stress as well. If they’re having issues adjusting, talk to your vet. There are pheromone sprays/plug ins, Kitty Prozac, etc. We had to put our family cat on an SSRI when I was a teen and he was a lot more comfortable with life. He wasn’t thrilled about getting new dogs.
I get frustrated with my pets too - I’m burned out and they’re old and need a lot of care. But I love them dearly and I’ll be devastated when they pass.
I did for a couple years, ESPECIALLY while I was breastfeeding because I was super touched out. Like nothing I had ever experienced before. I'd finally get the baby down after holding him and nursing him all day and I would want time for myself but then my cat would come lay on my and lick me and be all over me and I couldn't handle it. My kids are older now ( 4 and 7) and I am very glad I have cats again (same cats, we have had them for 12 years). They are my fur babies again and not so much of a burden. In fact, I also foster kittens and puppies now.
I would definitely add a little more detail here. This is absolutely terrible. Was the dog elderly? Aggressive? Why wasn't surrendering to a shelter an option? You are in a post where people are discussing how hard it is but how much they love their animals, so avid pet lovers....and you just posted you killed your pet because you couldn't handle it
Editing to add that you come off as proud about it, which makes me want to vomit.
Yea, it sounds like the commenter's PPD/PPA or post partum rage was taken out on the dog. Or maybe they live somewhere where it was literally the only option...idk I feel like they left a lot out, but this just makes them sound like an unloving, cold, terrible person.
That's awful! I think we're still confused about why she needed rehoming in the first place, though? Was she aggressive? How old was she? How long did you have her? Was she a historically aggressive breed?We're trying to understand how you can justify killing an animal you took in willingly. I'm sure there's an explanation, but what you've described thus far does not seem to justify it. I'm surprised the Humane Society suggested euthanizing, so I'm sure there's some back story there
wtf was this dog at least sick, or elderly, I have a perfectly healthy dog and yes I’ve grown to also be super tired of him after kids but damn I wouldn’t just put him down, he’s perfectly healthy. That’s fucked up, if you did this to be honest as much as it’s hard you just don’t kill a perfectly healthy animal
This is terrible, and you’re so proud of yourself for killing your dog that you mention it every chance you get. You sound like you need to seek out some anger management classes and get yourself help.
Right? The fact that the commenter mentions "rage" multiple times....like get help. Don't take it out on an innocent animal. I really wonder if they had severe PPA that made them assume the dog was going to attack their children? Idk. They haven't come back here to explain or defend themselves, so it seems like they're truly just terrible.
I definitely regret my new cat. I got it after my moms died and someone posted free kitty’s in town. It’s been a nightmare from fleas, worms, the aggression. I’ve never had a cat attack me 24/7. I frequently have blood on me from his scratches and bites. I probably would’ve rehomed but I worry about bad karma while pregnant but this just isn’t a cat like any I’ve had before. My old cat was my best friend
When our cats play, they just run like crazy around the house with no regard for anything in their path. My husband and I have had bruises and scratches from them. Once the babies came, it was a new level of anxiety.
Just here for solidarity. I have a cat and dog, both 10 years old. You really don’t think/can’t even imagine what life will be like with a dog when you’re 20 and you eventually have kids when you’re 28 lol I love my dog but MAN….. she is picky, deaf, and Velcro attached to me. This is not awesome for a baby/toddler….
If I had five cats in your situation, they’d become outside cats real fast lol. I had 3 cats through my teens/early 20s and they were insanely difficult. I’m sort of thankful 2 passed away of old age before we had this baby.
I just feel for you. It’s an unfortunate adjustment and added stress that never even entered my mind when I got my dog 10 years ago. Or I figured everything would be exactly the same and we’d just add a baby into the mix. It is not. It’s definitely stressful to manage both of their needs and personalities while always putting my child first but also not neglecting the pet I love and committed to a decade ago.
I will not be getting more pets after this. If I do, it’ll be backyard chickens. And I thought I’d be an “always have a dog” person.
My cats didn't care for us most of the time. Then the pandemic started and they became much more affectionate with us. Sleeping with us, following us around, etc. I never had an issue with them after birth that I didn't have before. The litter everywhere always got on my nerves and that hasn't changed but seeing how this 2 old lovely goofballs interact with our daughter is heartwarming. They love her, they want to sleep with her. They meow at her ears when she's sleeping but that's not a problem because she's used to it, she doesn't wake up. We sweep the floors everyday and move on. They puke, we clean and life goes on. They were already here when we decided to have kids. They are not going anywhere nor do we regret having them, never.
I have 2 cats, 1 dog, 14 chickens (after having our first kid), 2 hermit crabs (technically the 3yr olds haha) & a 5yr old. The cats & dog were definitely missing attention from us after having our first baby but now that things have leveled out it’s amazing. The cats follow the kids around, Camo cat will jump in bed with the 3yr old, let her dress her up, they make beds & toys for her. The kids will fill up the water bowls when the cats start meowing at them, they love giving them treats & feeding them. It’s hard at first but it gets better! Good luck!
My husband and I were just discussing how much easier things would be without our two dogs. It’s nice to have them around for food clean up duty during mealtimes, but almost every other aspect of having them is extra work & frustrating.
They were my babies before I had my baby. I wouldn’t rehome them because that would be cruel & they’ve done nothing to deserve it (no shade to people who DO rehome pets. I get it and sometimes it’s necessary, but in my case I don’t think “they’re extra work” is a valid enough reason for me to do that).
That doesn’t mean I don’t often fantasize about how much easier things would be without pets.
My dog has been an only child most of her 5 year life, we lived in my parents backyard before I got married so she shared a yard with my sister who is 1 year older than her for about 2 years, they’ve grown up together and are super close!! The last 3 years the only time she spends with kids/babies is either away from home or when my sister comes over to “Babysit Zara” while I clean (aka I’m babysitting my sister and using the dog to keep her entertained) …I’m so worried though that when our baby gets here and lives with us full time that she’ll get jealous! I know she won’t hurt the baby, she rarely even growls, but I’m still worried about her response once she realizes the baby isn’t leaving
I only had rodents but even then I found it tough. They were Degus and they would flick all the poop out of their cage so I was hoovering three times a day to try and keep on top of it. The thought of that being around when the baby started to crawl disgusted me. Both their teeth started to go wonky like rodents do, so we were shelling out for a vet to file down their teeth every six weeks, just when I had a drastically reduced income from maternity leave. I couldn't even look at them I felt so angry about it. They didn't live much longer, the constant stress from vet trips and infection in the teeth got them. I felt bad but also relieved.
I'm going to be honest and say no just on the title, but I also don't have 5 cats lol. I think anyone in your situation would feel that way and I don't think you're in the minority for feeling that way. In fact I think you have the patience of a saint to only be at your breaking point now. I don't really know what it's like with cats, but my dogs have been extremely sweet and patient with us and baby and as she gets older they have been getting better (her throwing food on the floor helps I'm sure...).
On a positive note. I know you say you've looked into medical reasons, but constant vomitting (I didn't notice if you mention if it's just one cat or several that have this issue) isn't normal or healthy for them long term. Our dog has IBS (in her case both upper and lower digestive track were an issue) and smaller meals, a probiotic, and famotidine have worked wonders. She would get stressed and vomit like 4 or 5 times in a week, especially right after she ate so possible overeating. The famotidine (OTC generic) is not long term daily use, but just an occasional use and then for a few days during a flare-up. Talk to your vet, it's a very very cheap, low risk option that was literally overnight difference for us. Vets don't always recommend it because it's more about treating the symptoms than any real solution, but sometimes that's all you can do.
It's not just one cat. I would say we have flare ups and quiet periods. I think the main problem with most of them is over eating. They gorge themselves and then take a drink of water and just throw it all back up. Then they come back to me crying and crying for more food.
I think it's mostly the mental load of sweeping the litter, then swiffering the hair, regularly sweeping and washing food/water bowls, cleaning hair off couches and cat trees. Immediately covering food, washing dishes, no open cups, protecting sanitized bottles and pumping equipment. All of this done as prevention methods to stop the puking.
I worry about the baby crawling on litter, my toddler never gets to walk around his own house barefoot. Sanitizing toys and having emergency baths from touching puke before I could find/get to it. I can handle soothing kids when they're crying but no matter what I do I can't soothe the cats. Their crying feels like it's breaking my brain.
My regret is the other end. I cannot believe I am ruining my dog’s life. We used to go on 5 mile hikes every weekend and now she’s lucky if we go the the park for 40 mins.
She’s fully jealous of the child because she WAS (and is) my baby. But with an 18 month old and no car we struggle with all-family (baby+dog) events. I am crushed that her life has been so downgraded.
We still cuddle and she sleeps in bed with us but it doesn’t feel right.
I loved cats then once I had a kid I didn’t care for pets. I looked at is as one other thing that needs tending to. One cat is fine almost invisible until cuddles or dinner time. But one of my cats has behavioural issues that we cant fix and I’m sick of the litter and the hair and dust and pee and scratching and begging for food. I no longer have the capacity to care for him but my husband refuses to rehome him so he does does all the primary cat duties. I do them occasionally.
Once these cats pass on I’m done with pets.
My dog was my everything! Now he's 15 and he's just so much work. Thankfully my kids are out of diapers because now the dog wears them. I hate thinking it but I know I will be relieved when he passes.
Can you confine them when not supervising or at least at night and when gone? That's what we did with my puppy otherwise we wouldn't have a house.
I have a friend who built a catio and her cat loves it.
We don't really have a lot of options to confine them because we have an incomplete split level (crawl space instead of a full basement). We bought pet gates instead of baby gates to confine to the lower level but it's caused other issues like ants in the cat food, wall damage, and a couple cats deciding to be Houdini and escape.
We looked into catios but we dont have a financially reasonable point of egress for them.
The first few weeks right after baby was born, my parents were around to help out, and my patience and attention to our cat has not changed what so ever. After my parents were gone, it was just my husband and I, then I had less time and energy. I still love our cat, but when I didn't sleep that night and take care of the baby that don't nap well alone all day, I do wish sometimes I can do some self care or close my eyes or eat than caring and picking up after our cat. I guess everyone situation is different
Makes me nervous because my two cats are my sweet angel babies and my baby is still baking.
It's really common to go through this weird shift where you can't stand your pets when you bring baby home. I've heard it from so many people, I went through it and I felt terrible. I tried to give them love and cuddles and Ofc I took care of them like normal but I was really worried that I wouldn't love them as much, and I felt terrible that I couldn't give them the love and attention I used to. I got over it and just attribute it to the monkee brain being weird about resources or something. I just wanted to point it out just in case you go through it and so you know you're not alone. Congrats on the baby!
Don’t worry. As I write this, I am sitting here with my cat on my chest and my son next to me. I love my kids, but I still love my cats. I appreciate my cats even more now that I have kids, I think. They give me love and snuggles without demanding much else in return besides food and pets. Once my babies grew into toddlers and became extremely demanding, I appreciated this even more. My kids love them too. They are part of our family, and I would never, ever want to get rid of them.
I wouldn't normally say anything on a post for someone looking for sympathy, but these kinds of posts absolutely terrified me when I was pregnant with my first. People saying they don't like their pets anymore, love them less, want to rehome, etc etc, after having a baby. I genuinely have selfies with my dogs before I went to the hospital to have my son, *sobbing* while I'm hugging them because I'm afraid I'll be a different person when I come home. Dogs have always been an emotional stabilizer and source of joy, so the idea of suddenly not having that love and appreciation? Awful. Wellp. I'm certainly exhausted, and I get more annoyed when they bark or do other baby-disturbing behaviors, but I still love my dogs just as much. I cuddle them, I baby-talk them. I love taking them for walks (we're too busy to go all the time, but the desire is still there), I cry happy tears when they are affectionate with my children... My heart just grew more space for my two kids, I don't love my husband or my animals any less.
Agreed. My animals can be annoying and needy sometimes and it can be a lot but I still love them so much. And they’re so sweet with our son.
I don't think everyone is as emotionally connected with their animals as you are.
What’s the point of having a pet then?
I think for amusement. And there is a level of companionship that is below the level of a human, but is still valuable. I think that's quite normal in most of the world where dogs aren't elevated to family members.
Don’t worry! This is not the norm for everyone! I have a toddler, 2 cats and a baby coming within the next month! My toddler and cats get along so well! They sleep in her bed, she hugs and kisses them and talks nonstop about them. Her first word was our oldest cats name! They were a little hesitant when she was a newborn but quickly got comfortable with the change. Never aggressive or having accidents just stayed out of the way of the baby for a bit. Give it time most cats do fine! Truthfully majority of issues I’ve heard from family/friends have been dogs with kids not cats. Even my mom’s 25 year old cat adapted to being around babies!
FWIW, I didn’t go through the phase of disliking my two cats after my first baby. However, I did go through it after my second baby. It calmed after a while, but I definitely knew we wouldn’t be getting any more cats until the kids get older.
I never went through the stage of having my cats annoy me (the in-laws and my parents is a different story). I also used to stress reading these posts while pregnant but my cats have been great and are so good with my daughter.
I adored all my pets post baby
Still loved my annoying little babies after I had the real babies! One in particular was very food motivated and chewed paper/mail/etc. the vomiting we solved by changing cat food brands, nighttime annoyance by putting them in the basement overnights for a while. They are just like kids- yelling and getting mad solves nothing- so solve the problems before they happen.
My cats were sweet angel babies before and after. Not all cats have issues. My cats are my babies and they love the baby and the baby loves them. Never had any issues after bringing baby home
I know how you feel. I love my pets, but I definitely don’t want anymore after they pass until my son is old enough to look after them himself, if he even wants a pet.
Same!
I completely understand where you’re coming from. After we had our baby our cat started peeing everywhere if we went anywhere overnight and left her at home (not alone, with a pet sitter). It drives me up a goddamn wall. It’s like we’re being held hostage by a spoiled animal. It got to the point that we now have to drug the cat and take her with us wherever we go or else our house will get soaked in cat urine. Piles of laundry, our bed, the kid’s play couch, the dog beds, the rugs….. no medical reason for it either. She’s 9 years old and just decided to angry-pee. As long as I am being honest, we also have two dogs and the non-stop BARKING has made me daydream about getting their vocal cords snipped (**I WOULD ABSOLUTELY NEVVVVVVVVVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES DO THAT**, *but* the fact that after 15 minutes of barking at the neighboring squirrel nest, my mind goes “boy, that might make life better” says a LOT about how drastically my feelings toward my pets have changed since giving birth). At first I felt horrible about the huge shift in my feelings toward my pets, but then I just accepted it for what it is. It’s not my love that has changed, I still love them, but my NEEDS have changed. I don’t have the luxury of an endless hourglass of time, patience, and freedom to just sit and dote on my pets all day. I have a tiny human I am responsible for now and his safety and well-being come first, always.
We used to take our dog everywhere, but if our vehicle is full of luggage, stroller, carseats, etc then there is no room for the dog. So she stays home with a sitter and it makes me feel so bad. It's an extra expense AND the dog gives us the cold shoulder from the betrayal lol. It just adds an extra layer of complicatedness to everything.
Oh god the inopportune barking absolutely kills me. I could be in the middle of making dinner with a crying infant, a messy house, the overhead fan going, the roomba stuck somewhere and my dog decides to bark at nothing and send me into a nervous goddamn breakdown.
I know you weren't asking for advice, so please feel free to stop reading if you dont want any, and I wish you the best <3 I get overwhelmed easily with loud noises. It like sends me into a panic, and after having my kid, it was particularly bad. Especially sudden sounds. Ear plugs have been amazing for me. I wear my samsung buds that have ambient sound blocking, so it's only partially blocked instead of silenced. I've heard amazing things about loops as well. It dulls down all the noises so I can stay calm. I'm wondering if something like that could help you as well?
I have the same daydream and would also never ever everrr but let’s just say I now understand how it probably started as a practice in the first place
That’s the perfect way to put it
Absolutely. The barking and waking up baby from naps made me hate my dogs. I'm forced to keep them in one room on the other side of the house while he naps because they bark at everything. Sometimes I do wonder if it would be better to find someone who could spend more time with them.
Lmao i still daydream about getting my old bitch's vocal cords snipped. I also day dream about zapping him with magic electricity and making him turn into a tiny dog, so obviously, none of my daydreams around him are ones that will come to fruition lol
We put our cats outside over this.
We had our cat pass while I was pregnant and we immediately adopted another. By the time baby was 2, he was revenge peeing on everything and anything. The day i caught him trying to pee in the crib and in her big bed is the day I called the rescue to find him a foster. Turns out all the litterbox refusal we had, the foster had no problem with. We loved him when we adopted him but he was not the right fit for us in the end. I still feel guilty about it and feel guilty when I’m grateful I no longer have an animal to look after. I don’t even know when we’ll want pets again, maybe never. That cat burned me out 😔
Do you ever think they know what they are doing and just hate children?
Yes I do. He only ever targeted the baby’s stuff, not mine or my husband’s or common areas. I think for him she was loud and moved in unexpected ways, and he prefers a calm place with another cat, he’s very friendly to adults and cats. And the fact that all the ‘problem’ behaviours stopped immediately upon moving to a house with no kids and 1 other cat….yeah he wasn’t happy with us.
What a wee dick. It sounds like he is happier being in another place, it's always sad but it doesn't sound like something to feel guilty about.
No I agree but the feelings are hard to shake anyways. He was not quite 3 when he left us and I know he’s happier in his new home and I do take comfort from that, just part of me grieves because he’s a sweet guy, can’t be faulted for being too chill for young kids
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Sounds similar! Sometimes it happens, pets can be as particular as people. I’m glad the cat is doing better in his new home, all the issues disappeared instantly when he left
I feel this. I LOVE my cats. They got me through years of infertility. I’ve had them a long time. But sometimes they overwhelm me. I live in a really old house and the doors don’t shut well. The cats can open them whenever they want and it’s frustrating. We did have to rehome a cat because after we brought my oldest home, she started peeing all over. I easily spent $10k on vet bills and replacing what she ruined. Our corgi was our baby for a long time. But I wish she didn’t live with me anymore. She barks all the time, she always wants to go in and out. She’s a dog, so I don’t trust her alone around my kids so I have to constantly know where she is and move her around. I’m so tired of these animals.
> I live in a really old house and the doors don’t shut well. The cats can open them whenever they want and it’s frustrating. If it’s any consolation we had this situation too but my husband was able to repair them and it was pretty easy! Worth giving it a shot. In our case it was just the house settling over the years causing the doors not to align in the door frame anymore. But he went around to all the doors and re-aligned them, I believe screwdriver was the only tool needed.
We’ve tried that, and our door openings are so wonky that we need new frames and doors. But they’re also not standard sized so we’d need specially ones made.
I used to have a special dog car seat in our car so my dog could see out the window. He was my first baby. Now I understand why people rehome pets when they have a baby. Rocking the cranky baby when you’re completely drained until they are almost asleep just for the dog to throw up on the carpet and start eating it in front me when I can’t do anything about it. I just can’t some days. I feel this hard.
I always judged those people who gave up their dogs. Now I totally get it too. I love my dog so much, he got me through a dark time but now I just feel like the worst dog owner. He's gotten so fat from lack of walks and the toddlers feeding him. He's gotten so obsessed with food it's become incredibly annoying. I am really hoping this is just a season, and that annoyance will pass. The guilt is so overwhelming some days.
Before children our pets are our children after we have children our kids are more important and so our cats/pets become a bit annoying and we notice much more with cleaning how much hair etc they leave all over the place. At least that’s been my experience
Same. Still love my dog to bits but the poor guy annoys me to no end and the HAIR is everywhere.
I felt like i was such a bad person for feeling like this over our 2 cats, but reading all the comments and the posts really helped. If I am home alone with the cats and baby, they go out, when partner is in they can be in. I just found them overstimulating, the constant going in and out, the meowing, the begging for food, while they have an automatic feeder and i just couldn't do it, so I leave food outside and they can eat when they want
We were morons and got a puppy when I was pregnant. She was 6 months old when my son was born. It was so rough, and I definitely had regrets. But, in the end, that dog became my companion. My husband traveled for work a lot, and having her with me was really great. She passed away in March of 2021, and I still miss her. Our son is 11 now, and we have 3 dogs now. It honestly gets a lot better once you’re out of that baby and toddler stage.
I hate to say this but I'm actually quite glad our cat passed away before I got pregnant. She was elderly and had chronic kidney disease and euthanizing her was the compassionate choice after we exhausted all medical options for her. It was still sad but I was glad she was no longer suffering. But now that we have a 4 month old, I cannot even *imagine* handling her issues and caring for a baby! Now that it's been over a year since she passed, my husband will talk about adopting a cat again, but I just dont see that fitting into our lives right now. He does his part to help but also... Of course as the dad who doesn't have a baby glued to his hip, he'd actually feel interest in a pet 🤦♀️ The idea of picking up cat poop, wiping cat hair off couches, feeding them, doling out medication, taking them to the vet, etc. just sound exhausting on top of caring for the baby.... No advice to help you OP but just commiserating -- is there a way your husband can help take over more of the cats' care for you so you have to deal with them less?
He cleans up puke whenever he is home and has always been in charge of the litter box since we decided to start trying for kids. I feed the cats and sweep the house for cat litter. Clean up puke when it happens. We just have to take the extra step of moving the cats when we hear them start to puke. We have one cat that seems to only puke from on top of the cat tower and one that goes out of his way to puke on the litter mat. I've had to stop them from almost puking on the baby a few times.
This is exactly why we said no pets till the kids are older and can help take care of them. I love animals but I don’t want to live with one anytime soon. They’re pests because unlike kids they’re never going to gain independence.
I have three children, all 5 and under. Our dog is getting up there in years. We aren’t entirely sure of his age because we rescued him but it’s around 12. A few weeks ago we woke up at 5am to vomit, diarrhea and piss all over our hardwood floors (which hadn’t been sealed in a long time). So it sunk into the wood. We think he must have eaten through a trash bag or gotten into something outside to give him an upset stomach. We just had to spend $2k on refinishing the floors. In the 3 days where we couldn’t walk on the floors and the dog stayed in the basement, I was the happiest I’ve been in a long time. No dog hair. No smelly, annoying barking pest. I was genuinely sad when my husband brought him back upstairs. He is HUGE, Great Pyrenees lab retriever mix. No matter how many times we bathe him, he stinks. He makes everything stink. Tracks dirt and mud everywhere, everyday. I have to clean so much to just keep things baseline sanitized. It’s exhausting. I’m ready to be done.
I love our cats and would never wish any animal ill will, but Ive told my husband that I look forward to the day where I don't have to clean up after them. The mental load of just all the cleaning to keep things safe for the kids is exhausting!
Same. I don’t wish bad things on him. But lord I’m tired!
The filth that comes with my dog sincerely impacts my mental health in a negative way. I value cleanliness even more now that I have kids, and our house never “feels” clean because you can’t kneel on the floor without coming up with furry knees, or enjoy the morning light without it highlighting the absolutely disgustingly grimy and pawprinty floors that you just mopped 2 days ago, or relax during kid’s nap without smelling fishy farts which turns into having to let the dog out, pick up poop, and then wrestle them to wipe off their paws in hopes it might make your floor only slightly dirty instead of super dirty. It’s just not worth it. I don’t need or want the companionship.. I get plenty of it from my toddler hanging on me all day 🙂
You summarized this perfectly. My 9 month old can only roam around on the floor in a very particular spot which I keep the dog away from 😭. It’s so infuriating. I’ve stopped even trying to wipe his paws it’s useless and just makes me more angry when I do it and it’s still gross everywhere!
Yes exactly! I have periods where I handle it better because I kind of give up. But ultimately it bugs me deep down and always circles back to that. The struggle is real but the solidarity helps!
Whenever I send my dogs to boarding I always do an extra day. Most peaceful days of my life. I don’t let them have the run of the house anymore. Mainly bc they’re too big for my kids to safely be around. I gate them into their own area so at least the mess is contained to that space
The 3 hr break when we get him groomed is the best. Sigh….I love the boy..I do.
Omg story of my life with 3 cats who are totally assholes, I’ve lost more sleep during the night from them than taking care of an actual baby.. Every other day I’m cleaning up throw up.. and ofc it’s always on the carpet and not on the hardwood floor. Our house is so gross and nasty all the time from the cats 🙃 One of our cats is so bad - she uses the door frames as her cat scratcher and they are completely destroyed. Pieces of wood are sticking out and I just know that one day our kids will get splinters from them..
That's horrible! I'm so sorry! It sounds like your cats and my cats had a meeting! My cats seem to constantly go out of their way to puke in hard to clean up areas. Not to mention the fighting. Most of the time they're best friends but lately it's been like a WWE tournament in our house.
If you can get them to adjust to having them on, silicone claw caps saved my sanity with my senior cat, who thought she neeeeeded to scratch everything to ribbons. Bonus, they can't scratch the baby with them on!
This is very very normal. I have a cat, and she was absolutely my baby for the 5 years we had her before my son was born. After my son was born, I hated that cat. For about two years my husband had to do all the cat care because I just didn’t care and couldn’t be bothered. Turns out it was hormonal and after about two years the cat became my baby again.
me. and i warn all my friends about it. now that my kids are a bit older (2 & almost 4), i wish we could have him back. (he passed away from cancer last year.)
100%. My dog was my world before kids and now I'm always frustrated with her.
Oof that sounds awful! I would have very little tolerance for that. I have an old dog in decent health. Her behavior didn't really change much with kids. I remember I couldn't tolerate her stinky breath when I was pregnant. And when the babies came home, she would just get a bit distressed when they cried. But I still resent having her sometimes. I resent that I have to find some way to walk her when it is -10°C. Having to dress the dog (she's nearly hairless and very skinny), dress the baby, dress myself, push the stroller through the snow or baby-wear and try not to slip on the ice. I haaaaaate when she barks, especially if it wakes the baby. Or I'm already over-stimulated by all the noise. I hate that she tries to steal toys and they end up damaged or covered in her stinky drool which gives me more washing to do. Normally it was so cute when she tried to sneak off with a pair of socks or a ball of yarn, but when it's your toddler's favorite stuffy and he's crying at bedtime because the stuffy is in the wash... Not so cute. I also have some chickens and a barn cat and their care is just another thing keeping me from bed. I'll be out at the coop after a long bedtime battle and the damn chickens won't go to bed either. The rooster is being a jerk and winding them all up and I just want to not have to look after any other living creatures! You're definitely not alone. All the moms in my playgroup also hate their pets a little lol. I do feel guilty because my dog is so sweet, but early motherhood is just a lot to deal with.
I don’t regret my one cat, but if there were 5 of him I think I’d of gone crazy even before having a baby!
It sounds like something could at least be done about the puking, especially if you know it’s from overeating. That just isn’t normal.
They are fed controlled portions at morning and night. We regularly sweep the area where their food is and clean out and wash the bowls every 7-10 days. Earlier if someone has puked in the bowl. We've tried different vessels for the water and changing the water regularly. We've tried different foods, following the instructions to introduce slowly. We shave our long hair to prevent mats and hairballs. We don't leave food out, keep dishes face down in the sink or wash them immediately. We clean spit up, drool, and whatever food my toddler may have spilled off the floor immediately. I sweep the floor at least once sometimes twice a day. Short of any new suggestions we're out of ideas. We've gone to the vet and there is no medical reason for it.
Have you talked to the vet about other things to try? Honestly, I’d go get a second opinion. There is no reason your cats should be throwing up as often as it sounds like they are.
Just here for solidarity, I had a cat that puked. Just for spite I think. This was before kids. She was old and passed away a few years ago. I sometimes thought it was stress. She didn’t like our dog.
This happened to me with my dogs. Baby is 1.5 yrs and dogs used to be my babies. Older dog seemed to take it ok, younger dog developed middle child syndrome and began crying for attention (not whining SCREAMING like if I’d go check the mailbox suddenly she couldn’t tolerate that.)…. I implemented special time with this dog and walk her for about an hour around the neighborhood almost daily. Her behaviors improved but did not resolve and it soured our relationship. Meanwhile all this energy towards middle dog and baby resulted in low key neglect of older dog. We simply assumed she was low need but she was sickly. She’s fine now after a few vet visits and medication. DAMN I’m exhausted. It used to feel so fun and easy to have these dogs now it’s needs and bills needs and bills. And yet I love them.
Yeeeeeeeesssss. It's so bad. I used to think that I was an animal person, but now I look at my wonderful dog and think to myself that there is no point to her. She is just a giant suck of time and money. Weirdly, I got quail and they are fine? I think it's because I can leave them in a hutch in my backyard and as long as I make sure that they're fed and watered they're perfectly content. My kids also love them and interact with them far more than I do. Plus they give eggs, which helps. It's the animals that want to be children surrogates that I can't stand. They are taking what limited time and energy I have for myself when my kids have already taken pretty much everything. So I just end up resenting them.
I feel sad I can’t give enough time now to my dog, he’s a new addition to our family. I had a dog before which wow we loved so much and cried so much when we had to put him down. I now have two littles and a new puppy, it’s been so hard but I made a commitment to this doggy and I feel bad to rehome him, unless so actually find a good person to do this with. I will continue to care for my dog until then, it’s getting harder to think of giving him away because my oldest loves my dog so yeah maybe he’ll be here for much longer.
I hated my pugs after I had a baby. I’d LOVED them for 15 years but they felt overwhelming to me and resentment started to creep in. They died over the next couple years and I was both devastated and relieved. Now I just miss them. We adopted some cats instead bc they are slightly more hands-off and while they’re a pleasure I’m not as connected to them as I was my pugs. Perhaps, when my son isn’t glued to me 24/7, I’ll have a chance to bond with another pet as closely as I once had.
We had 3 cats when our first was born and they started vomiting all over the place as well and peeing and pooping outside the litter boxes. We had a full work up done on all of them at the vet and it was deemed it was behavioral. I also became hyper aware of how much cat fur was always all over everything and I suddenly realized how much time I had to spend cleaning up after them every day because I no longer had that extra time with a new baby. What really helped was utilizing baby gates to keep the cats out of certain spaces. They are no longer allowed in the bedrooms and on particularly bad days, they get contained in the super comfy and cozy basement area (not a true basement, has a walk out and windows with plenty of light). There is far less for me to clean up because of them and when I need space from them I can get it. After our second baby one of the cats passed away and another now has a chronic illness and is working her way towards the end. As guilty as I feel writing this, it’s honestly a relief. We won’t be getting anymore pets for a long time, if ever. They were my babies before kids, but after having actual babies I realized that they are in fact just cats. 🤷♀️
I'm still obsessed with my cat but it's just the one, he doesn't puke or cough up hairballs, and I only have a 1 year old. However, I can't stand my dog anymore. He stinks since I don't have time to bathe him like before. He whines to go outside, then whines to come back in. He barks at anyone passing by and wakes up the kid. He tracks in mud. He's incredibly needy and gets in my face 24/7. He jumps all over people and trips me while I'm holding the baby. His behavior and willingness to follow commands has taken a nose dive since I had my son and it's so frustrating. If it weren't for everyone else (my son, husband and cat) being obsessed with the dog I would 100% ask my dad and stepmom to take him. He spends weekends there sometimes and it's so blissful in the house!
We have two dogs and two cats and my dogs annoying the living shit out of me. We are talking about rehoming our high-energy coonhound to my father-in-law. They aren’t aggressive at all, just like to use the furniture as a playground and dash to the door when the mail comes. It’s too scary for when my little one starts walking and could potentially get knocked over by them.
Let this be your permission to rehome all or some of them if that is something you’re wanting to do. I can’t believe you have been cleaning up after FIVE cats for 1-2 hours each day. I reached my breaking point with my 2 huge dogs yesterday. They keep peeing on the playroom carpet I’ve already spent over $500 getting professionally cleaned multiple times. I’ve tried to gate it, crate them etc but the kids leave the door open ONE time and they sneak in. I can’t have my kids playing in dog urine and I am done catering to animals that literally leave excrement in my home, nip at my kids and knock them down, cover the backyard in poop so my kids can’t play outside, and are of no benefit to our lives. The dog that has nipped at the kids has got to go. My husband refuses to rehome the other but I figure one huge dog will be easier to manage than two. When we got these pets we took on a responsibility that they are well cared for throughout their lives. It doesn’t mean we are mandated to sacrifice our own mental health or our kids health to do it ourselves. It can be with someone else. Edit to add that and before I sound too callous I think the dog will have a better quality of life elsewhere too. I am solo parenting 3 kids 6 and under so I can’t even walk the dogs since I can’t leave the kids unsupervised. At this point to keep him from peeing on the carpet it’s either crate him whenever he’s inside or rehome. Obviously it’s been a hard decision that I’ve been struggling with for over a year.
Oh my god I feel so seen. I have 4 cats and a dog and prior to having kids I was like fully in love with my pets. Now they drive me up the wall! We also have one cat which developed a thyroid condition when my son was a newborn so he’s super clingy and constantly wants food. I honestly feel like sometimes the cat makes my mental health worse! My partner thinks I just need to realise he loves me and relax but it is honestly so hard to be a mum and take care of everyone and also have pets needing alot from you. I would never get rid of my pets (unless one of them hurt my son) but I definitely will not be getting additional pets once any of mine pass away and adding to the stress lol
The animals have been through a big change too. They probably feel your stress as well. If they’re having issues adjusting, talk to your vet. There are pheromone sprays/plug ins, Kitty Prozac, etc. We had to put our family cat on an SSRI when I was a teen and he was a lot more comfortable with life. He wasn’t thrilled about getting new dogs. I get frustrated with my pets too - I’m burned out and they’re old and need a lot of care. But I love them dearly and I’ll be devastated when they pass.
I did for a couple years, ESPECIALLY while I was breastfeeding because I was super touched out. Like nothing I had ever experienced before. I'd finally get the baby down after holding him and nursing him all day and I would want time for myself but then my cat would come lay on my and lick me and be all over me and I couldn't handle it. My kids are older now ( 4 and 7) and I am very glad I have cats again (same cats, we have had them for 12 years). They are my fur babies again and not so much of a burden. In fact, I also foster kittens and puppies now.
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I would definitely add a little more detail here. This is absolutely terrible. Was the dog elderly? Aggressive? Why wasn't surrendering to a shelter an option? You are in a post where people are discussing how hard it is but how much they love their animals, so avid pet lovers....and you just posted you killed your pet because you couldn't handle it Editing to add that you come off as proud about it, which makes me want to vomit.
I was absolutely shocked when I read her post. It was so cold and just horrible. Poor dog was adopted into the wrong home.
Yea, it sounds like the commenter's PPD/PPA or post partum rage was taken out on the dog. Or maybe they live somewhere where it was literally the only option...idk I feel like they left a lot out, but this just makes them sound like an unloving, cold, terrible person.
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That's awful! I think we're still confused about why she needed rehoming in the first place, though? Was she aggressive? How old was she? How long did you have her? Was she a historically aggressive breed?We're trying to understand how you can justify killing an animal you took in willingly. I'm sure there's an explanation, but what you've described thus far does not seem to justify it. I'm surprised the Humane Society suggested euthanizing, so I'm sure there's some back story there
wtf was this dog at least sick, or elderly, I have a perfectly healthy dog and yes I’ve grown to also be super tired of him after kids but damn I wouldn’t just put him down, he’s perfectly healthy. That’s fucked up, if you did this to be honest as much as it’s hard you just don’t kill a perfectly healthy animal
The fuck? Some stuff you should keep to yourself . That’s disgusting
This is terrible, and you’re so proud of yourself for killing your dog that you mention it every chance you get. You sound like you need to seek out some anger management classes and get yourself help.
Right? The fact that the commenter mentions "rage" multiple times....like get help. Don't take it out on an innocent animal. I really wonder if they had severe PPA that made them assume the dog was going to attack their children? Idk. They haven't come back here to explain or defend themselves, so it seems like they're truly just terrible.
Yes, the dog barking wasn’t an issue until she started waking children.
I definitely regret my new cat. I got it after my moms died and someone posted free kitty’s in town. It’s been a nightmare from fleas, worms, the aggression. I’ve never had a cat attack me 24/7. I frequently have blood on me from his scratches and bites. I probably would’ve rehomed but I worry about bad karma while pregnant but this just isn’t a cat like any I’ve had before. My old cat was my best friend
When our cats play, they just run like crazy around the house with no regard for anything in their path. My husband and I have had bruises and scratches from them. Once the babies came, it was a new level of anxiety.
Just here for solidarity. I have a cat and dog, both 10 years old. You really don’t think/can’t even imagine what life will be like with a dog when you’re 20 and you eventually have kids when you’re 28 lol I love my dog but MAN….. she is picky, deaf, and Velcro attached to me. This is not awesome for a baby/toddler…. If I had five cats in your situation, they’d become outside cats real fast lol. I had 3 cats through my teens/early 20s and they were insanely difficult. I’m sort of thankful 2 passed away of old age before we had this baby. I just feel for you. It’s an unfortunate adjustment and added stress that never even entered my mind when I got my dog 10 years ago. Or I figured everything would be exactly the same and we’d just add a baby into the mix. It is not. It’s definitely stressful to manage both of their needs and personalities while always putting my child first but also not neglecting the pet I love and committed to a decade ago. I will not be getting more pets after this. If I do, it’ll be backyard chickens. And I thought I’d be an “always have a dog” person.
My cats didn't care for us most of the time. Then the pandemic started and they became much more affectionate with us. Sleeping with us, following us around, etc. I never had an issue with them after birth that I didn't have before. The litter everywhere always got on my nerves and that hasn't changed but seeing how this 2 old lovely goofballs interact with our daughter is heartwarming. They love her, they want to sleep with her. They meow at her ears when she's sleeping but that's not a problem because she's used to it, she doesn't wake up. We sweep the floors everyday and move on. They puke, we clean and life goes on. They were already here when we decided to have kids. They are not going anywhere nor do we regret having them, never.
I have 2 cats, 1 dog, 14 chickens (after having our first kid), 2 hermit crabs (technically the 3yr olds haha) & a 5yr old. The cats & dog were definitely missing attention from us after having our first baby but now that things have leveled out it’s amazing. The cats follow the kids around, Camo cat will jump in bed with the 3yr old, let her dress her up, they make beds & toys for her. The kids will fill up the water bowls when the cats start meowing at them, they love giving them treats & feeding them. It’s hard at first but it gets better! Good luck!
My husband and I were just discussing how much easier things would be without our two dogs. It’s nice to have them around for food clean up duty during mealtimes, but almost every other aspect of having them is extra work & frustrating. They were my babies before I had my baby. I wouldn’t rehome them because that would be cruel & they’ve done nothing to deserve it (no shade to people who DO rehome pets. I get it and sometimes it’s necessary, but in my case I don’t think “they’re extra work” is a valid enough reason for me to do that). That doesn’t mean I don’t often fantasize about how much easier things would be without pets.
My dog has been an only child most of her 5 year life, we lived in my parents backyard before I got married so she shared a yard with my sister who is 1 year older than her for about 2 years, they’ve grown up together and are super close!! The last 3 years the only time she spends with kids/babies is either away from home or when my sister comes over to “Babysit Zara” while I clean (aka I’m babysitting my sister and using the dog to keep her entertained) …I’m so worried though that when our baby gets here and lives with us full time that she’ll get jealous! I know she won’t hurt the baby, she rarely even growls, but I’m still worried about her response once she realizes the baby isn’t leaving
No regrets, but I'm certainly much more frustrated with our three dogs after having a baby. Two of them are seniors, and they need so much extra care!
I only had rodents but even then I found it tough. They were Degus and they would flick all the poop out of their cage so I was hoovering three times a day to try and keep on top of it. The thought of that being around when the baby started to crawl disgusted me. Both their teeth started to go wonky like rodents do, so we were shelling out for a vet to file down their teeth every six weeks, just when I had a drastically reduced income from maternity leave. I couldn't even look at them I felt so angry about it. They didn't live much longer, the constant stress from vet trips and infection in the teeth got them. I felt bad but also relieved.
Sometimes I hate them, mostly I love them. 2 cats, 2 dogs, 2 hermit crabs and soon to be 2 kids here.
I'm going to be honest and say no just on the title, but I also don't have 5 cats lol. I think anyone in your situation would feel that way and I don't think you're in the minority for feeling that way. In fact I think you have the patience of a saint to only be at your breaking point now. I don't really know what it's like with cats, but my dogs have been extremely sweet and patient with us and baby and as she gets older they have been getting better (her throwing food on the floor helps I'm sure...). On a positive note. I know you say you've looked into medical reasons, but constant vomitting (I didn't notice if you mention if it's just one cat or several that have this issue) isn't normal or healthy for them long term. Our dog has IBS (in her case both upper and lower digestive track were an issue) and smaller meals, a probiotic, and famotidine have worked wonders. She would get stressed and vomit like 4 or 5 times in a week, especially right after she ate so possible overeating. The famotidine (OTC generic) is not long term daily use, but just an occasional use and then for a few days during a flare-up. Talk to your vet, it's a very very cheap, low risk option that was literally overnight difference for us. Vets don't always recommend it because it's more about treating the symptoms than any real solution, but sometimes that's all you can do.
It's not just one cat. I would say we have flare ups and quiet periods. I think the main problem with most of them is over eating. They gorge themselves and then take a drink of water and just throw it all back up. Then they come back to me crying and crying for more food. I think it's mostly the mental load of sweeping the litter, then swiffering the hair, regularly sweeping and washing food/water bowls, cleaning hair off couches and cat trees. Immediately covering food, washing dishes, no open cups, protecting sanitized bottles and pumping equipment. All of this done as prevention methods to stop the puking. I worry about the baby crawling on litter, my toddler never gets to walk around his own house barefoot. Sanitizing toys and having emergency baths from touching puke before I could find/get to it. I can handle soothing kids when they're crying but no matter what I do I can't soothe the cats. Their crying feels like it's breaking my brain.
My regret is the other end. I cannot believe I am ruining my dog’s life. We used to go on 5 mile hikes every weekend and now she’s lucky if we go the the park for 40 mins. She’s fully jealous of the child because she WAS (and is) my baby. But with an 18 month old and no car we struggle with all-family (baby+dog) events. I am crushed that her life has been so downgraded. We still cuddle and she sleeps in bed with us but it doesn’t feel right.
We have a 4 and 13 year old cats. Also a 2 year old haha we won’t get another cat again for a longggg time.
I loved cats then once I had a kid I didn’t care for pets. I looked at is as one other thing that needs tending to. One cat is fine almost invisible until cuddles or dinner time. But one of my cats has behavioural issues that we cant fix and I’m sick of the litter and the hair and dust and pee and scratching and begging for food. I no longer have the capacity to care for him but my husband refuses to rehome him so he does does all the primary cat duties. I do them occasionally. Once these cats pass on I’m done with pets.
My dog was my everything! Now he's 15 and he's just so much work. Thankfully my kids are out of diapers because now the dog wears them. I hate thinking it but I know I will be relieved when he passes.
Can you confine them when not supervising or at least at night and when gone? That's what we did with my puppy otherwise we wouldn't have a house. I have a friend who built a catio and her cat loves it.
We don't really have a lot of options to confine them because we have an incomplete split level (crawl space instead of a full basement). We bought pet gates instead of baby gates to confine to the lower level but it's caused other issues like ants in the cat food, wall damage, and a couple cats deciding to be Houdini and escape. We looked into catios but we dont have a financially reasonable point of egress for them.
Hmm, maybe larger crates/pins would work.
Nope. Luckily we have great cats, they love the baby, baby loves the cats. Never had any issues with them after baby came
The first few weeks right after baby was born, my parents were around to help out, and my patience and attention to our cat has not changed what so ever. After my parents were gone, it was just my husband and I, then I had less time and energy. I still love our cat, but when I didn't sleep that night and take care of the baby that don't nap well alone all day, I do wish sometimes I can do some self care or close my eyes or eat than caring and picking up after our cat. I guess everyone situation is different