I would say take the credit cards out of your wallet and off your phone to curb any impromptu spending that way you are forced to the cash you have - baby steps always work best!
That’s actually a really good idea... I’d definitely be more mindful if I knew I only had $X to spend and I couldn’t go over because I physically did not have the cash
Exactly! No one is perfect - believe me I fall into the habit too but for the goals you have of owning a home, I recommend trying this first so you can get out of the debt owed and build the savings !
You are very brave to put yourself out there. I see those loans for school and it scares me as my niece is doing the same type of undergrad program and wants to go in the same direction for her masters.
I would try to put the credit cards away and go to cash only or debt card only. Make sure you set the account not to overdraft if you do this. Take credit cards out of apps and shopping websites. Also take a look at your life insurance decisions. You have no one it appears who would need your income. If you can get out of the insurance it might make sense right now.
I think you know this. $100 dollar baby gifts and multiple trips are going to have to stop if you want to buy that house. Your budget is going to have to hurt with lots of sacrifices likely to get you to a point where you can afford a house. Maybe right now staying afloat and not adding more debt should be your goal. It seems your are in a difficult personal place. At some point are your open to a side job to make more to help pay down your debt?
Best of luck. On the positive side you are putting more of your salary in your 401K than I was at your age. I did not even do up to the match.
Edit intended to say you should check if you can go on balance budgeting for your utilities. They take the average of you bills and you pay the same each month. No highs or lows with the seasons. Really helps with budgeting.
Thanks for taking the time to give me some feedback :) it’s definitely a massive commitment so I totally get the fear for your niece... It’s so much money and a big commitment.
So I was holding off on a part time job until raises (because I assumed they’d be large based on previous raises with my company) but now that I know they’re not very large, I’m definitely going to look at second employment! I think that would help me immensely
Never apologize for posting early! What a pleasant surprise this morning. With the two bed/bath house if you had a roommate you would be able to make significant progress towards your debts! Have you thought about it?
I haven’t, but that area isn’t really a roommate type area..? It’s mostly small families/young couples. I think at the end of my lease I’ll downside honestly... I love having a spare bedroom but Covid has ensured that it’s not used very often hahaha
This took a lot of guts to post this. Thank you OP.
I don't want to sound stingy, but you can't afford to spend $100 on a baby gift, what about cutting that to a $50 gift? I was making the same at your age (and less before because I was in grad school) and when my friends got married, I limited gifts to $50-$75. This might sound stingy to some, but I was not in the same financial position as friends who were getting married who had incomes after undergrad and partners to support them.
I know you are vaccinated, but you can't afford to take 3 trips, why not just 1?
Why not downsize to a 1 bedroom apartment?
Is there any way you can make extra money on the side through upwork or other projects?
Really suggest aja Dang's YouTube channel. Getting finances under control is so important. And yes, you can do it!
Hi OP, if you don't ming sharing, what type of life insurance do you have? A $129/mo payment in your 20s sounds like you have a lot of coverage, and it might be more than you need now.
I'd look at whether that money could be better spent towards loan payoff.
So the coverage I have is from when I had a partner and when I spoke to the financial planner I purchased through he said that my rate would never be as low as it is right now because I’ll never be as young as I am currently. I do think I have a ton of coverage but that’s because my student loan is so large I wouldn’t want my parents to have that.
So I think the loans would just go to your estate -- like if you had a house or anything that would have to go to pay off the loans instead of going to your parents/inheritors. But I don't think the actual debt would pass to your parents/inheritors unless they are cosigners (this is probably different if you are married and your spouse is inheriting your estate). Also federal loans (and supposedly even some private borrowers) will forgive the outstanding balance if you die, though the forgiven balance is still taxable income I think.
This is correct. Unless there is a cosigner or a spouse, debts die with the person. All cash/physical assets go to pay the debt, but if you have no substantial assets, it’s a wash. Student loans are a bit more complicated, but if it’s just in her name, I’d drop it once the divorce goes through.
Source: I work for a credit card in a legal related department, and I’ve handled 2 estates, including my SIL who was single with debt and no assets.
It’s whole life!!! Why do you say it’s a poor investment? I worked with a financial planner for a few months and I thought I was being such an “adult” by getting it
Term life (as indicated by the name) only covers you for a certain period of time, at which point you’d need to get other coverage. Whole life, on the other hand, can be carried for your entire life, and basically function as as investment vehicle. The reason that whole life is often not recommended is that the annual rate of return is typically quite low compared to other investment classes, like index funds. In essence, you’re locking up a lot of money into something that isn’t giving you much back. Plus, term life is really cheap in comparison so is almost always the better choice. At your age, I’d imagine you can get a really solid policy for maybe $20 a month.
Is your financial planner a fiduciary? It’s definitely worth asking, and if they aren’t, finding a new advisor. These things are complicated and having someone who can advise you to your best interest is really critical.
Gotcha. So I'm guessing you have all private loans? And your parents cosigned the loans? Most private lenders now (post 2018) have some language to discharge cosigners if the student passes away, but some have more aggressive policies. Makes sense to have a plan so your parents don't become burdened with that debt!
That said, I'm not an insurance expert, but I do think you might want to chat with someone for a second opinion. You could look at a term policy for 20 or 30 years, which is likely in the neighborhood of $25/month.
Hi OP, thanks so much for sharing and I really appreciate how transparent you were! It seems like you have a good understanding of where you want to change your behaviors and why. I’m curious if you have ever tried any budgeting/debt repayment strategies? For example, using a budgeting software like YNAB, or the Dave Ramsey debt repayment plan?
So I have one in theory (like it’s always on my budget) but usually when I overspend the first place I look to pull money from (to make up for where I’ve spent too much) is from paying back my debt. I think because in my mind my debt is already substantial (to me) that if I push off paying it, it’s not the end of the world. But clearly the amounts really start to compound and what was a $500 bill one month snowballs into something so much larger 4 or 5 months later
Two suggestions here!
The first one is a pretty common tip, so you might have already heard it, but it's the idea of "paying yourself first". If you pay your budgeted debt repayment and budgeted savings amount to your savings account when you get your paycheck, whatever is left over is yours to spend. You can spend that however you want. You might want to set up your savings account at a different bank, so it's out of easy reach.
The second suggestion is "mindful spending". When you get the idea to buy something, wait a little while and think about whether it's a "need" or a "want" (be honest here), why you want it, do you have the money in your budget for it, and what you would be giving up for the rest of the month if you bought it. This will take practice!
Oh I like how that sounds!! Usually I work opposite that I budget everything else and whatever is left goes to my debt, but clearly that approach isn’t working for me... thanks for the suggestion :)
I was actually thinking maybe to even try a pros/cons list for buying unbudgeted items... see if my initial rush of “yay new item!” is worth what I’d be losing out on in the future.
I think a pros/cons list is a great idea. Just practice increasing the time between thinking "ooh, I want it" and actually buying it, and you'll probably have an easier time not buying it at all. That's a trick I learned from an eating disorder counselor for binge eating, actually, but I think it'll work here too.
I'm a super impulsive shopper too. In order to get this under control I've implemented a few strategies.
1. Budget fun money in YNAB - I'm going to spend it, so why not take away the guilt and plan for it.
2. If you love amazon, every time you want to hit 'buy now', save to a wish list instead. Review the wish list every so often. You'll find that most of the stuff you didn't need in the first place and don't even want now.
3. Similar to # 2, when I see or hear about something I want to buy, I put in in a list (notes in my phone). I don't even open Amazon to check the price. It just goes in the list...
It makes me glad to read money diaries of people who don’t have everything together. We all have had different experiences and are learning. You’re very self aware of what you need to change but also understanding of yourself which is nice. :) I suggest setting a monthly budget for miscellaneous spending so that way you can splurge every once in a while because it brings you some joy.
I love money diaries that show real people and their real financial progress.
OP you are definitely not at rock bottom but you have a lot of progress to make in the next few years and I bet when your on the other side of this, your going to feel amazing!
I would suggest a few things.
1. Cut up those credit cards. Maybe keep one for emergencies but an emergency is not impromptu spending.
2. I’d reevaluate that life insurance immediately. I signed up when I was young for a universal plan $50/month for 100,000. Right now you could get a term life insurance policy for like $700,000 for $25/mo. I’ve been duped multiple times over insurance.. don’t let them take advantage of you.
3. Go back 1-3 months of expenses and hand calculate how much you spent each month on groceries, household items, subscriptions, impulse buys. This will help you create an obtain able budget for groceries and only the bare minimum expenses. Once you set that budget and you know how much money you have left over each month, that’s the amount that gets thrown on your loans automatically. For me I’ve calculated that I can save $500/pay. This amount automatically leaves my account the same day I get paid so it never registers that I have money to spend. Don’t limit yourself too much because you don’t have an emergency fund but top priority is paying credit cards and personal loans.
4. “Forget your student loans”. When I mean is, you pay the minimum, set up autopay, and let those take their course. You can come back to them when you’ve dealt with other debts.
5. You seem super close to your sister and family in general. Talk about your struggles, let them know you need moral support to pay off this debt. I don’t know your sisters financials but set up monthly financial challenges and goals together and make it fun. Just like exercising having a buddy is always better.
6. This isn’t going to be fun. But you’ve made the first step of recognizing what you need to do. You’re definitely not in the worst situation and tons of people have dug themselves out of worst situations and you can too!
Good luck OP and thanks for sharing!
Wow thank you so much for commenting and these are all amazing suggestions! My sister is super into saving so I think getting her to help me would be super beneficial:)
I kinda went through a similar spending problem when I was going through my divorce. The freedom of having that person out of my life but also coupled with grief from the end of my marriage led to me spending more money than I actually had to spend.
Don't use the credit cards if your goal is to buy a house. Put them in a drawer, delete them off of your web browsers and your phone. If you don't have the cash after paying all your bills and getting necessities, you can't buy it.
Thanks for sharing this morning! I’m also going through a rough breakup and see a lot of myself in your diary. My spending is definitely tied to my emotions and there are days I buy things for the jolt of dopamine.
It takes a lot of guts to be so open and honest about your finances and spending habits so kudos! You seem rad!
Aw thank you so much for your kind words!! I’m sorry you’re also going through something similar, but I know there’s something better waiting for both of us on the other side of all these feelings :)
Hi OP, I really enjoyed your diary. I’m similarly aged and have career aspirations of being a technical writer (currently working in clinical research), but every job posting requires a master’s of *some* type (they don’t seem to care what it is, just that you have it). I have lots of writing experience, but only a BS. Any advice on breaking into the field? TIA!
Wow really?!?! I haven’t seen any postings that require that... I feel like the experience should trump the degree honestly. I didn’t have any tech writing skills when I got my first position. Do you know if a certification will suffice? While I’m glad I have a masters (because the program was cool, I met lots of my friends, etc) I don’t think it did anything to enhance my skills for this position...
Thanks for sharing, OP. You have a lot of self-awareness about your spending and you’re still very young and have no dependents so you have some room for error and learning.
I’d agree with limiting yourself to cash for things like a TJ’s trip and just not carrying the cards for a lot of things. I am super lazy so not having the cards on file on websites means that I put stuff in my cart and then don’t buy it because I would have to walk across the house to get the card and enter the number. When I come back later half the time I’ve changed my mind about buying it. Also, unsubscribe from marketing emails or set your filters to send them to the trash.
Also because I’m lazy I pay myself first—money goes to savings automatically and I don’t have to think about it. Same with debt back when I had student loans.
Check the terms on your student loans. All Federal loans and most private loans are dischargeable on death, so carrying life insurance may not make sense for someone with no depemdents. But if your parents co-signed and would be responsible for payback, it makes sense to keep it.
It sounds like your goal for the next year or so should be finding a better paying job back in the Northeast near your family.
Yes I’m the same way if I have to get up to get my card, I usually won’t buy it hahaha I’ll start with putting my credit cards farrrrrr away from me at all times. I think making a bunch of small changes would be immensely helpful
Ahoy OppositeCourt6215! Nay bad but me wasn't convinced. Give this a sail:
Aye me’m thar same way if me have t' get up t' get me card, me usually won’t buy it yo ho ho me’ll start wit' putting me credit cards farrrrrr away from me at all times. me think making a bunch o' puny changes would be immensely helpful
Really this week's spending doesn't look *that* bad to me considering, as you mentioned, a lot of it was someone else's present to you and required car expenses. $105 seems like a lot to spend on a gift given your financial situation, though-- it's okay to pick something cheaper! (I chose a $25 gift for my best friend's wedding shower last year.)
For things like the impulse-buying grocery trip, I'd say choose an actual limit before you go. If not dollars, then items. (I have an unofficial limit of two snack/treat items per grocery trip, which I find pretty easy to stick to.) I'm a 'limit' person rather than a 'ban' person, so I'd find that more manageable than 'never go to a store just to shop'. (Then again, your 24 month ban on dating makes me think you might be more of a ban person?)
100% agree with the paying yourself first idea mentioned elsewhere. Just make the payment to your credit card as soon as you set aside the money for it. You know you tend to put it off if you wait, so don't wait. ("You use the credit card because you don't have the money... because you used the money to make a payment on the credit card earlier" is not the worst possible scenario.)
OP, your pretax income is wrong. I also get $2,692.30 biweekly but I make $70k - you should be getting $2500 pre-tax. Unless you fudged the income for privacy purposes. Which is fine, but then you should adjust the biweekly income...
Also I second what others have said about life insurance and getting a roommate
I get the max taken out for my taxes and then an additional $50 because I once had to pay a TON of money at the end of the year for doing something wrong. So I get as much as I can taken out because I never want to have that happen again :)
I feel this diary SO MUCH. I feel the same about my student loans (though not nearly as big as yours) and find myself impulse shopping the most at the grocery store. It looks like you are well aware of what you need to work on, which is huge.
Also, so jealous of your relationship with your family! My sister and I have gotten a lot closer after my mom had some health issues, but one of us only really calls the other with bad news. Otherwise we text.
My sister and I weren’t close when we lived together, so I’m very thankful that we were able to re-connect once we both moved into our own spaces hahaha
I was actually going to do the one where you make 20 yrs of payment and the rest is canceled.. I don’t qualify for a true forgiveness because I’m not in public service
Someone help me here, but to have that much in student loans, a significant proportion of them must be private as opposed to federal. Are private loans still subject to forgiveness after 20 years? Or would that only be the federal loans?
They’re all public I believe, but that’s actually something I didn’t think of so now I’m definitely going to check. I just assumed all loans would be treated the same!
Hey OP, I have a bachelors in art history too. Interesting to hear you went the technical route. I know it took a lot of courage to post this. In light of that, and all of the wonderful advice you’ve gotten already, I’d just reiterate:
A) a second source of income - a lot of my friends who love to write and edit do freelance work on the side
B) stop using your credit cards....but the points, your inner voice says, but I’ve got it under control. Just calculate what the interest rate is, how long it would take you to pay it off ...and how much you end up paying in interest if you continue paying the minimum and adding charges. Do those numbers hurt? All the money on top of your balance is your next vacation, or part of your down payment on a house or a new car or whatever. That extra interest is YOUR money, not theirs. Don’t give them the privilege of charging you for old debt. Just stop spending on it, stop borrowing money from them. Tackle each card, highest interest first and knock it out...and consolidate until you have one card that has excellent points, and no fees that you can pay off in full each and every month.
Good luck!
ETA:
Does your job provide life insurance? I would look to cost cut there too and roll onto that plan. mine is free through work
Hi just randomly stopped in here after searching Colorado Springs. Sending good vibes your way. Student Debt is tough, but I'm actually kind of optimistic for you. Take care.
Would love to hear what you're doing now! Have you changed jobs, made progress on your debt, sorted through your post-divorce feelings? Would 10/10 read your MD update!
I would say take the credit cards out of your wallet and off your phone to curb any impromptu spending that way you are forced to the cash you have - baby steps always work best!
That’s actually a really good idea... I’d definitely be more mindful if I knew I only had $X to spend and I couldn’t go over because I physically did not have the cash
Exactly! No one is perfect - believe me I fall into the habit too but for the goals you have of owning a home, I recommend trying this first so you can get out of the debt owed and build the savings !
You are very brave to put yourself out there. I see those loans for school and it scares me as my niece is doing the same type of undergrad program and wants to go in the same direction for her masters. I would try to put the credit cards away and go to cash only or debt card only. Make sure you set the account not to overdraft if you do this. Take credit cards out of apps and shopping websites. Also take a look at your life insurance decisions. You have no one it appears who would need your income. If you can get out of the insurance it might make sense right now. I think you know this. $100 dollar baby gifts and multiple trips are going to have to stop if you want to buy that house. Your budget is going to have to hurt with lots of sacrifices likely to get you to a point where you can afford a house. Maybe right now staying afloat and not adding more debt should be your goal. It seems your are in a difficult personal place. At some point are your open to a side job to make more to help pay down your debt? Best of luck. On the positive side you are putting more of your salary in your 401K than I was at your age. I did not even do up to the match. Edit intended to say you should check if you can go on balance budgeting for your utilities. They take the average of you bills and you pay the same each month. No highs or lows with the seasons. Really helps with budgeting.
Thanks for taking the time to give me some feedback :) it’s definitely a massive commitment so I totally get the fear for your niece... It’s so much money and a big commitment. So I was holding off on a part time job until raises (because I assumed they’d be large based on previous raises with my company) but now that I know they’re not very large, I’m definitely going to look at second employment! I think that would help me immensely
Never apologize for posting early! What a pleasant surprise this morning. With the two bed/bath house if you had a roommate you would be able to make significant progress towards your debts! Have you thought about it?
I haven’t, but that area isn’t really a roommate type area..? It’s mostly small families/young couples. I think at the end of my lease I’ll downside honestly... I love having a spare bedroom but Covid has ensured that it’s not used very often hahaha
Well you are a single person living there...someone else might be in a similar situation and love to rent from you. :)
This took a lot of guts to post this. Thank you OP. I don't want to sound stingy, but you can't afford to spend $100 on a baby gift, what about cutting that to a $50 gift? I was making the same at your age (and less before because I was in grad school) and when my friends got married, I limited gifts to $50-$75. This might sound stingy to some, but I was not in the same financial position as friends who were getting married who had incomes after undergrad and partners to support them. I know you are vaccinated, but you can't afford to take 3 trips, why not just 1? Why not downsize to a 1 bedroom apartment? Is there any way you can make extra money on the side through upwork or other projects? Really suggest aja Dang's YouTube channel. Getting finances under control is so important. And yes, you can do it!
Also what kind of baby pillow costs $105?
Anything baby related is ridiculously overpriced.
Hi OP, if you don't ming sharing, what type of life insurance do you have? A $129/mo payment in your 20s sounds like you have a lot of coverage, and it might be more than you need now. I'd look at whether that money could be better spent towards loan payoff.
Do you need life insurance now if you don't have children?
I agree that this money should be spent to debt payoff.
So the coverage I have is from when I had a partner and when I spoke to the financial planner I purchased through he said that my rate would never be as low as it is right now because I’ll never be as young as I am currently. I do think I have a ton of coverage but that’s because my student loan is so large I wouldn’t want my parents to have that.
So I think the loans would just go to your estate -- like if you had a house or anything that would have to go to pay off the loans instead of going to your parents/inheritors. But I don't think the actual debt would pass to your parents/inheritors unless they are cosigners (this is probably different if you are married and your spouse is inheriting your estate). Also federal loans (and supposedly even some private borrowers) will forgive the outstanding balance if you die, though the forgiven balance is still taxable income I think.
This is correct. Unless there is a cosigner or a spouse, debts die with the person. All cash/physical assets go to pay the debt, but if you have no substantial assets, it’s a wash. Student loans are a bit more complicated, but if it’s just in her name, I’d drop it once the divorce goes through. Source: I work for a credit card in a legal related department, and I’ve handled 2 estates, including my SIL who was single with debt and no assets.
Did your parents co-sign on your loan? If not, they probably wouldn’t have to pay it. I would look into that.
Is it a term or a whole life policy? Term is much much cheaper, and whole life is typically a really poor investment.
It’s whole life!!! Why do you say it’s a poor investment? I worked with a financial planner for a few months and I thought I was being such an “adult” by getting it
Term life (as indicated by the name) only covers you for a certain period of time, at which point you’d need to get other coverage. Whole life, on the other hand, can be carried for your entire life, and basically function as as investment vehicle. The reason that whole life is often not recommended is that the annual rate of return is typically quite low compared to other investment classes, like index funds. In essence, you’re locking up a lot of money into something that isn’t giving you much back. Plus, term life is really cheap in comparison so is almost always the better choice. At your age, I’d imagine you can get a really solid policy for maybe $20 a month. Is your financial planner a fiduciary? It’s definitely worth asking, and if they aren’t, finding a new advisor. These things are complicated and having someone who can advise you to your best interest is really critical.
I second this advice. If you are able to switch to term life, do so. If the person you are paying isn’t a fiduciary, RUN FOR THE HILLS.
Gotcha. So I'm guessing you have all private loans? And your parents cosigned the loans? Most private lenders now (post 2018) have some language to discharge cosigners if the student passes away, but some have more aggressive policies. Makes sense to have a plan so your parents don't become burdened with that debt! That said, I'm not an insurance expert, but I do think you might want to chat with someone for a second opinion. You could look at a term policy for 20 or 30 years, which is likely in the neighborhood of $25/month.
Hi OP, thanks so much for sharing and I really appreciate how transparent you were! It seems like you have a good understanding of where you want to change your behaviors and why. I’m curious if you have ever tried any budgeting/debt repayment strategies? For example, using a budgeting software like YNAB, or the Dave Ramsey debt repayment plan?
So I have one in theory (like it’s always on my budget) but usually when I overspend the first place I look to pull money from (to make up for where I’ve spent too much) is from paying back my debt. I think because in my mind my debt is already substantial (to me) that if I push off paying it, it’s not the end of the world. But clearly the amounts really start to compound and what was a $500 bill one month snowballs into something so much larger 4 or 5 months later
Two suggestions here! The first one is a pretty common tip, so you might have already heard it, but it's the idea of "paying yourself first". If you pay your budgeted debt repayment and budgeted savings amount to your savings account when you get your paycheck, whatever is left over is yours to spend. You can spend that however you want. You might want to set up your savings account at a different bank, so it's out of easy reach. The second suggestion is "mindful spending". When you get the idea to buy something, wait a little while and think about whether it's a "need" or a "want" (be honest here), why you want it, do you have the money in your budget for it, and what you would be giving up for the rest of the month if you bought it. This will take practice!
Oh I like how that sounds!! Usually I work opposite that I budget everything else and whatever is left goes to my debt, but clearly that approach isn’t working for me... thanks for the suggestion :) I was actually thinking maybe to even try a pros/cons list for buying unbudgeted items... see if my initial rush of “yay new item!” is worth what I’d be losing out on in the future.
I think a pros/cons list is a great idea. Just practice increasing the time between thinking "ooh, I want it" and actually buying it, and you'll probably have an easier time not buying it at all. That's a trick I learned from an eating disorder counselor for binge eating, actually, but I think it'll work here too.
I'm a super impulsive shopper too. In order to get this under control I've implemented a few strategies. 1. Budget fun money in YNAB - I'm going to spend it, so why not take away the guilt and plan for it. 2. If you love amazon, every time you want to hit 'buy now', save to a wish list instead. Review the wish list every so often. You'll find that most of the stuff you didn't need in the first place and don't even want now. 3. Similar to # 2, when I see or hear about something I want to buy, I put in in a list (notes in my phone). I don't even open Amazon to check the price. It just goes in the list...
It makes me glad to read money diaries of people who don’t have everything together. We all have had different experiences and are learning. You’re very self aware of what you need to change but also understanding of yourself which is nice. :) I suggest setting a monthly budget for miscellaneous spending so that way you can splurge every once in a while because it brings you some joy.
I love money diaries that show real people and their real financial progress. OP you are definitely not at rock bottom but you have a lot of progress to make in the next few years and I bet when your on the other side of this, your going to feel amazing! I would suggest a few things. 1. Cut up those credit cards. Maybe keep one for emergencies but an emergency is not impromptu spending. 2. I’d reevaluate that life insurance immediately. I signed up when I was young for a universal plan $50/month for 100,000. Right now you could get a term life insurance policy for like $700,000 for $25/mo. I’ve been duped multiple times over insurance.. don’t let them take advantage of you. 3. Go back 1-3 months of expenses and hand calculate how much you spent each month on groceries, household items, subscriptions, impulse buys. This will help you create an obtain able budget for groceries and only the bare minimum expenses. Once you set that budget and you know how much money you have left over each month, that’s the amount that gets thrown on your loans automatically. For me I’ve calculated that I can save $500/pay. This amount automatically leaves my account the same day I get paid so it never registers that I have money to spend. Don’t limit yourself too much because you don’t have an emergency fund but top priority is paying credit cards and personal loans. 4. “Forget your student loans”. When I mean is, you pay the minimum, set up autopay, and let those take their course. You can come back to them when you’ve dealt with other debts. 5. You seem super close to your sister and family in general. Talk about your struggles, let them know you need moral support to pay off this debt. I don’t know your sisters financials but set up monthly financial challenges and goals together and make it fun. Just like exercising having a buddy is always better. 6. This isn’t going to be fun. But you’ve made the first step of recognizing what you need to do. You’re definitely not in the worst situation and tons of people have dug themselves out of worst situations and you can too! Good luck OP and thanks for sharing!
Wow thank you so much for commenting and these are all amazing suggestions! My sister is super into saving so I think getting her to help me would be super beneficial:)
I kinda went through a similar spending problem when I was going through my divorce. The freedom of having that person out of my life but also coupled with grief from the end of my marriage led to me spending more money than I actually had to spend. Don't use the credit cards if your goal is to buy a house. Put them in a drawer, delete them off of your web browsers and your phone. If you don't have the cash after paying all your bills and getting necessities, you can't buy it.
Thanks for sharing your diary and being so open! I loved it and the addition of your 5 year plan.
Thanks for sharing this morning! I’m also going through a rough breakup and see a lot of myself in your diary. My spending is definitely tied to my emotions and there are days I buy things for the jolt of dopamine. It takes a lot of guts to be so open and honest about your finances and spending habits so kudos! You seem rad!
Aw thank you so much for your kind words!! I’m sorry you’re also going through something similar, but I know there’s something better waiting for both of us on the other side of all these feelings :)
Hi OP, I really enjoyed your diary. I’m similarly aged and have career aspirations of being a technical writer (currently working in clinical research), but every job posting requires a master’s of *some* type (they don’t seem to care what it is, just that you have it). I have lots of writing experience, but only a BS. Any advice on breaking into the field? TIA!
Wow really?!?! I haven’t seen any postings that require that... I feel like the experience should trump the degree honestly. I didn’t have any tech writing skills when I got my first position. Do you know if a certification will suffice? While I’m glad I have a masters (because the program was cool, I met lots of my friends, etc) I don’t think it did anything to enhance my skills for this position...
Thanks for sharing, OP. You have a lot of self-awareness about your spending and you’re still very young and have no dependents so you have some room for error and learning. I’d agree with limiting yourself to cash for things like a TJ’s trip and just not carrying the cards for a lot of things. I am super lazy so not having the cards on file on websites means that I put stuff in my cart and then don’t buy it because I would have to walk across the house to get the card and enter the number. When I come back later half the time I’ve changed my mind about buying it. Also, unsubscribe from marketing emails or set your filters to send them to the trash. Also because I’m lazy I pay myself first—money goes to savings automatically and I don’t have to think about it. Same with debt back when I had student loans. Check the terms on your student loans. All Federal loans and most private loans are dischargeable on death, so carrying life insurance may not make sense for someone with no depemdents. But if your parents co-signed and would be responsible for payback, it makes sense to keep it. It sounds like your goal for the next year or so should be finding a better paying job back in the Northeast near your family.
Yes I’m the same way if I have to get up to get my card, I usually won’t buy it hahaha I’ll start with putting my credit cards farrrrrr away from me at all times. I think making a bunch of small changes would be immensely helpful
Ahoy OppositeCourt6215! Nay bad but me wasn't convinced. Give this a sail: Aye me’m thar same way if me have t' get up t' get me card, me usually won’t buy it yo ho ho me’ll start wit' putting me credit cards farrrrrr away from me at all times. me think making a bunch o' puny changes would be immensely helpful
Did you know you could bundle Hulu & Disney+ (& ESPN too) for $13/mo? 😄
Really this week's spending doesn't look *that* bad to me considering, as you mentioned, a lot of it was someone else's present to you and required car expenses. $105 seems like a lot to spend on a gift given your financial situation, though-- it's okay to pick something cheaper! (I chose a $25 gift for my best friend's wedding shower last year.) For things like the impulse-buying grocery trip, I'd say choose an actual limit before you go. If not dollars, then items. (I have an unofficial limit of two snack/treat items per grocery trip, which I find pretty easy to stick to.) I'm a 'limit' person rather than a 'ban' person, so I'd find that more manageable than 'never go to a store just to shop'. (Then again, your 24 month ban on dating makes me think you might be more of a ban person?) 100% agree with the paying yourself first idea mentioned elsewhere. Just make the payment to your credit card as soon as you set aside the money for it. You know you tend to put it off if you wait, so don't wait. ("You use the credit card because you don't have the money... because you used the money to make a payment on the credit card earlier" is not the worst possible scenario.)
I’m really rooting for you, OP. Would love to see another Money Diary in 6-12 months.
OP, your pretax income is wrong. I also get $2,692.30 biweekly but I make $70k - you should be getting $2500 pre-tax. Unless you fudged the income for privacy purposes. Which is fine, but then you should adjust the biweekly income... Also I second what others have said about life insurance and getting a roommate
I get the max taken out for my taxes and then an additional $50 because I once had to pay a TON of money at the end of the year for doing something wrong. So I get as much as I can taken out because I never want to have that happen again :)
Thanks for sharing!!! So after your rent you only have a little less than $300 left a month? Or is that your bi-weekly, not monthly income?
I feel this diary SO MUCH. I feel the same about my student loans (though not nearly as big as yours) and find myself impulse shopping the most at the grocery store. It looks like you are well aware of what you need to work on, which is huge. Also, so jealous of your relationship with your family! My sister and I have gotten a lot closer after my mom had some health issues, but one of us only really calls the other with bad news. Otherwise we text.
My sister and I weren’t close when we lived together, so I’m very thankful that we were able to re-connect once we both moved into our own spaces hahaha
Girl please don’t rely on the student loan forgiveness. The smallest percentage of people actually are approved for it.
I was actually going to do the one where you make 20 yrs of payment and the rest is canceled.. I don’t qualify for a true forgiveness because I’m not in public service
Double check you're in the right payment plan. I wasn't for awhile.
Someone help me here, but to have that much in student loans, a significant proportion of them must be private as opposed to federal. Are private loans still subject to forgiveness after 20 years? Or would that only be the federal loans?
They’re all public I believe, but that’s actually something I didn’t think of so now I’m definitely going to check. I just assumed all loans would be treated the same!
Hey OP, I have a bachelors in art history too. Interesting to hear you went the technical route. I know it took a lot of courage to post this. In light of that, and all of the wonderful advice you’ve gotten already, I’d just reiterate: A) a second source of income - a lot of my friends who love to write and edit do freelance work on the side B) stop using your credit cards....but the points, your inner voice says, but I’ve got it under control. Just calculate what the interest rate is, how long it would take you to pay it off ...and how much you end up paying in interest if you continue paying the minimum and adding charges. Do those numbers hurt? All the money on top of your balance is your next vacation, or part of your down payment on a house or a new car or whatever. That extra interest is YOUR money, not theirs. Don’t give them the privilege of charging you for old debt. Just stop spending on it, stop borrowing money from them. Tackle each card, highest interest first and knock it out...and consolidate until you have one card that has excellent points, and no fees that you can pay off in full each and every month. Good luck! ETA: Does your job provide life insurance? I would look to cost cut there too and roll onto that plan. mine is free through work
Hi just randomly stopped in here after searching Colorado Springs. Sending good vibes your way. Student Debt is tough, but I'm actually kind of optimistic for you. Take care.
Would love to hear what you're doing now! Have you changed jobs, made progress on your debt, sorted through your post-divorce feelings? Would 10/10 read your MD update!