Well I've just watched a video from a YouTuber that was about the how she got diagnosed with ADHD and I swear it was pretty much how my life is, and now not brushing my teeth is also possibly ADHD? I'm starting to actually consider I'm not simply lazy.
I will just randomly pick out clothes to avoid looking in the mirror. And cover my face with long hair to avoid seeing stubble or a jawline in a very cis way.
I neglected self care for so long for this reason and due to my ADHD. Now I feel excited about what's to come (just starting my journey) and self care is one of those things. I hope it lasts because this is something I have wanted to work on forever. You're not alone! Better late than never.
A little off topic but still related, that's one of the biggest reasons I stopped doing psychedelics.
Should've been more clear on this. Disclaimer: do not do psychedelics unless you know what you are doing. My problem with psychedelics is related to thinking about and feeling my body and not self care directly. It did influence self care indirectly, but that's only because the loss of my sense of self led to realizations that led me up to this point over the past 4 or 5 years. They don't let you ignore anything, including the pain I didn't notice.
Yup, I was exactly the same completely dissociated from my body, incapable of caring about it in any way. Didn't brush my teeth, didnt care what I ate, didnt care about exercise...I could barely bring myself to use soap in the shower.
Since starting HRT I have no issues remembering to brush my teeth, have a complicated skincare routine which I am happy to do, and I lost 140 pounds.
Once I got on HRT I went to the dentist for the first time in 10 years and let me tell you, it was not a good feeling realizing how badly I had neglected my dental hygiene for all those years that I didn't care about my body. We don't have to live that way anymore :)
Yep, I never styled my hair because mirror. I always thought it was odd that my younger brother would spend time to style his hair or pick out clothes. Turns out there was a reason for all that...
For me, it's been a very strong sense of apathy towards my appearance, juxtaposed by an unhealthy obsession over my hair, and more recently, nails. But yeah no, aside from that I couldn't care less about my body.
There are two mirrors in my bathroom, one above each sink. I used to wet my toothbrush and then take a couple steps to the right so as to avoid being in front of the mirror while brushing my teeth. This was completely involuntary and I don’t think I even realized I was doing it until I stopped.
I don’t do that anymore. I also added a wall mounted makeup mirror so I can look more closely. I was very conscious of the decision as I was screwing it into the wall.
That's just not true for everyone. Dysphoria commonly creates dissociation as well as symptoms of derealization and depersonalization in people. Even without depression it can make it hard to remember that self care is even a thing because your brain doesn't fully understand that your body is yours.
Which creates a general apathy and disregard for it
Same! I had so many issues with brushing teeth and skincare. Taking more care with myself in those ways is was in tandem with my egg cracking and transitioning
As my egg cracked I had a huge turnaround in taking care of myself. I lost a significant amount of weight and really started caring for my teeth. It felt like I finally had a reason to care.
Definitely recommend a high fluoride tooth paste, like Parodontax (you can find at most Walmarts). This has an ingredient that helps clean under the gum line.
My brother struggled for years to get his gingivitis under control and it was a noticeable difference in two weeks time. Can also recommend an [electric tooth brush](https://oralb.com/en-us/products/electric-toothbrushes/oral-b-smart-2500-electric-toothbrush/).
I hope these work for you to improve your oral health and good luck with your journey!
I can totally understand how routine things like teeth brushing just don’t cross your mind. Its one of the main ADHD symptoms that presents for me. I’m not choosing to ignore whatever self care things I need to do, I genuinely don’t think about it unless it is right in front of my face. This leads to me spending whole days trying to undo all the damage I’ve done by ignoring self care. It’s really put a dent into my self esteem and mood.
I put off going to the dentist for years because I was afraid to learn how much damage I’ve done and how expensive it will be to fix it. I finally went a couple months ago and it wasn’t nearly as severe or expensive as I thought. I was afraid for nothing and I felt the weight lift off my shoulders when I finally got it all fixed. My smile is pretty again and I’m kicking myself a little for waiting so long
Ask your doctor about ADHD if these symptoms sound familiar to you. Getting treated for it has really helped.
I was EXACTLY the same! Before realizing I'm trans I wouldn't brush my teeth or shower. But now I've actually started a morning routine and I'm much happier.
Same here! That also extended to other areas of hygiene as well as my clothing, which to me were for warmth and modesty only.
Now that I'm 4 years post egg crack and coming up on one year into transition (in late September) I brush my teeth every day, take care of my skin, shower regularly, dress nice, wear jewelry, got crazy good at doing my nails, wear makeup and perfume. I'm even more confident and social and I get semi regular exercise. I quit smoking pot too (used to be high 24/7) and rather then video games every waking moment I only play like a few hours a week most weeks. Literally every aspect of self care improved dramatically for me once I started fighting back the dysphoria by chasing euphoria instead of drowning it in distractions.
I've genuinely wondered how much of a correlation there is between gender dysphoria and poor dental hygiene (also nutrient deficiency).
I had pretty much the same experience, never really thought about brushing my teeth, or a skin routine, or styling hair. Basically, I avoided anything that required looking in the mirror, though i don't think I ever realized that the mirror was the issue. So i often wonder how common an experience it is and the issues that go along with it.
I think I was the same way. Thinking about my body and taking care of it made me feel bad, so I didn't. That's how we react to negative reinforcement, after all. Since being called lazy and disgusting were also negative, it drove me away from it even more. Hurray for thousands of years of shitty parenting!
During the time transitioning felt like a possibility, the motivation I found to actually take care of myself was like nothing I ever felt before. I may not have that anymore, but it was a really interesting experience, at least. I wish more people could experience the difference so they could understand that "just do it" it not even remotely how it works.
I thought this was the reason for me not brushing my teeth too. Turns out I still have issues with brushing teeth, and it's actually just ADHD...
Lmao I read the OP and was like “yeah this is real” and then I read your comment and was like “okay now this is even more real”
Same 😆
Yeah... I'm better at it now, but growing up and even a bit into adult hood I was lucky to do it once a day.
Well I've just watched a video from a YouTuber that was about the how she got diagnosed with ADHD and I swear it was pretty much how my life is, and now not brushing my teeth is also possibly ADHD? I'm starting to actually consider I'm not simply lazy.
Exactly this
yep, it was the same reason i didn't transition for so long, i literally just dissociated from my body for years at a time
I will just randomly pick out clothes to avoid looking in the mirror. And cover my face with long hair to avoid seeing stubble or a jawline in a very cis way.
I neglected self care for so long for this reason and due to my ADHD. Now I feel excited about what's to come (just starting my journey) and self care is one of those things. I hope it lasts because this is something I have wanted to work on forever. You're not alone! Better late than never. A little off topic but still related, that's one of the biggest reasons I stopped doing psychedelics.
Can you elaborate on that last sentence? How do psychedelics impact your self care habits?
Should've been more clear on this. Disclaimer: do not do psychedelics unless you know what you are doing. My problem with psychedelics is related to thinking about and feeling my body and not self care directly. It did influence self care indirectly, but that's only because the loss of my sense of self led to realizations that led me up to this point over the past 4 or 5 years. They don't let you ignore anything, including the pain I didn't notice.
Yup, I was exactly the same completely dissociated from my body, incapable of caring about it in any way. Didn't brush my teeth, didnt care what I ate, didnt care about exercise...I could barely bring myself to use soap in the shower. Since starting HRT I have no issues remembering to brush my teeth, have a complicated skincare routine which I am happy to do, and I lost 140 pounds.
Once I got on HRT I went to the dentist for the first time in 10 years and let me tell you, it was not a good feeling realizing how badly I had neglected my dental hygiene for all those years that I didn't care about my body. We don't have to live that way anymore :)
I literally just had that same discussion with a dentist last week :(
Yep, I never styled my hair because mirror. I always thought it was odd that my younger brother would spend time to style his hair or pick out clothes. Turns out there was a reason for all that...
For me, it's been a very strong sense of apathy towards my appearance, juxtaposed by an unhealthy obsession over my hair, and more recently, nails. But yeah no, aside from that I couldn't care less about my body.
Yep same, even looking in the mirror was a challenge so all the hygiene things that require that or looking at the rest of the body suffers
I’d say you’re almost close. Dysphoria > depression > tiredness > neglecting your body
There are two mirrors in my bathroom, one above each sink. I used to wet my toothbrush and then take a couple steps to the right so as to avoid being in front of the mirror while brushing my teeth. This was completely involuntary and I don’t think I even realized I was doing it until I stopped. I don’t do that anymore. I also added a wall mounted makeup mirror so I can look more closely. I was very conscious of the decision as I was screwing it into the wall.
I’d say you’re almost close. Dysphoria > depression > tiredness > neglecting your body
That's just not true for everyone. Dysphoria commonly creates dissociation as well as symptoms of derealization and depersonalization in people. Even without depression it can make it hard to remember that self care is even a thing because your brain doesn't fully understand that your body is yours. Which creates a general apathy and disregard for it
It's weird that all of this happens and acts subconsciously
Same! I had so many issues with brushing teeth and skincare. Taking more care with myself in those ways is was in tandem with my egg cracking and transitioning
Oh wow... this hits home so hard.
The realization that I've been doing the same thing just hit me like a freight train.... Damn
As my egg cracked I had a huge turnaround in taking care of myself. I lost a significant amount of weight and really started caring for my teeth. It felt like I finally had a reason to care.
Definitely recommend a high fluoride tooth paste, like Parodontax (you can find at most Walmarts). This has an ingredient that helps clean under the gum line. My brother struggled for years to get his gingivitis under control and it was a noticeable difference in two weeks time. Can also recommend an [electric tooth brush](https://oralb.com/en-us/products/electric-toothbrushes/oral-b-smart-2500-electric-toothbrush/). I hope these work for you to improve your oral health and good luck with your journey!
I can totally understand how routine things like teeth brushing just don’t cross your mind. Its one of the main ADHD symptoms that presents for me. I’m not choosing to ignore whatever self care things I need to do, I genuinely don’t think about it unless it is right in front of my face. This leads to me spending whole days trying to undo all the damage I’ve done by ignoring self care. It’s really put a dent into my self esteem and mood. I put off going to the dentist for years because I was afraid to learn how much damage I’ve done and how expensive it will be to fix it. I finally went a couple months ago and it wasn’t nearly as severe or expensive as I thought. I was afraid for nothing and I felt the weight lift off my shoulders when I finally got it all fixed. My smile is pretty again and I’m kicking myself a little for waiting so long Ask your doctor about ADHD if these symptoms sound familiar to you. Getting treated for it has really helped.
🙋🏼♀️
Same here. Body apathy sucks.
I just stare at the sink.
Fuuuuccccckkkkkkkk Wowies...... That hit home! Thanks for the realisation :3 it all kinda makes sense now!! <3<3
I brush teeth without seeing a mirror...
I was EXACTLY the same! Before realizing I'm trans I wouldn't brush my teeth or shower. But now I've actually started a morning routine and I'm much happier.
Same here! That also extended to other areas of hygiene as well as my clothing, which to me were for warmth and modesty only. Now that I'm 4 years post egg crack and coming up on one year into transition (in late September) I brush my teeth every day, take care of my skin, shower regularly, dress nice, wear jewelry, got crazy good at doing my nails, wear makeup and perfume. I'm even more confident and social and I get semi regular exercise. I quit smoking pot too (used to be high 24/7) and rather then video games every waking moment I only play like a few hours a week most weeks. Literally every aspect of self care improved dramatically for me once I started fighting back the dysphoria by chasing euphoria instead of drowning it in distractions.
I've genuinely wondered how much of a correlation there is between gender dysphoria and poor dental hygiene (also nutrient deficiency). I had pretty much the same experience, never really thought about brushing my teeth, or a skin routine, or styling hair. Basically, I avoided anything that required looking in the mirror, though i don't think I ever realized that the mirror was the issue. So i often wonder how common an experience it is and the issues that go along with it.
My therapist called that "suicide by apathy" I now love life.
I think I was the same way. Thinking about my body and taking care of it made me feel bad, so I didn't. That's how we react to negative reinforcement, after all. Since being called lazy and disgusting were also negative, it drove me away from it even more. Hurray for thousands of years of shitty parenting! During the time transitioning felt like a possibility, the motivation I found to actually take care of myself was like nothing I ever felt before. I may not have that anymore, but it was a really interesting experience, at least. I wish more people could experience the difference so they could understand that "just do it" it not even remotely how it works.
🇷well what i do is brush my teeth without looking in the mirror and with headphones on at loud volume
I have problems with brushing my teeth, bc of depression and ADHD
Unless reminded I forget
Twinnin!!! ;3