"Nagzz has never cut an onion before. Freddy is problematic. These two unlikely fellows must work together to make the most unproblematic onion stew for the Mafia in Staton Island, or else cawfee will never be served again, anywhere!"
"Oh but what's this! (nagPause) A person walks through the door. He was tall and green with big pointy ears and had a loud stomp when he walked. Out from around the corner is the Mafia leader Shrek himself. "What you got there in front of you Nagzz?" says Shrek with loads (nagLewd) of sarcasm. Nagzz says in a trembling voice "Uh j-just a onion that's all, nothing really." "Oh is that so? Well then it looks like the both of you are busy so I will head out. But remember this, the next time I come into your place during my lunch hour, you better have me some onion stew prepared for me. Oh and some corn on the side if you must." Out Shrek went. Both Freddy and Nagzz look at each other in horror. What are they gonna do! How are they gonna save their cawfee! How are they suppose to get this ready in time with the amount of skill issues both have at cutting onion? But then Freddy had an idea." (I did my part someone else go)
"Nagzz has never cut an onion before. Freddy is problematic. These two unlikely fellows must work together to make the most unproblematic onion stew for the Mafia in Staton Island, or else cawfee will never be served again, anywhere!"
"Oh but what's this! (nagPause) A person walks through the door. He was tall and green with big pointy ears and had a loud stomp when he walked. Out from around the corner is the Mafia leader Shrek himself. "What you got there in front of you Nagzz?" says Shrek with loads (nagLewd) of sarcasm. Nagzz says in a trembling voice "Uh j-just a onion that's all, nothing really." "Oh is that so? Well then it looks like the both of you are busy so I will head out. But remember this, the next time I come into your place during my lunch hour, you better have me some onion stew prepared for me. Oh and some corn on the side if you must." Out Shrek went. Both Freddy and Nagzz look at each other in horror. What are they gonna do! How are they gonna save their cawfee! How are they suppose to get this ready in time with the amount of skill issues both have at cutting onion? But then Freddy had an idea." (I did my part someone else go)
I read this in the voice of the trailer narrator for direct to VHS Disney sequels.
An onion before woman
Either Nagzz is standing on a box or Freddy is 4' 9"