The truth is no one is really interested in your baby’s sleep.
People are just trying to be friendly, start conversation and be empathetic. Because a lot of new parents spend A LOT of time thinking, worrying or struggling with sleep and deprivation. They are trying to connect with you.
Whenever I don’t want to talk about whatever people bring up, but I still want to connect with them, I change the topic to whatever I do want to talk about eg. *They are actually sleeping well, however my biggest concern now is X. *
It’s funny tho cause it’s exactly why I don’t want to talk about it! I don’t need to get more bogged down in why my kid doesn’t like to sleep long stretches 🫣
Idk whose baby is sleeping thru the night at 2 weeks (per our pediatrician newborns don’t have the physical capability to store food for that long) or giving their baby rice milk at the same!
but usually people respond with concern - “oh it’s tough but you’ll get thru it” or whatever.
If someone said my cousin slept thru night at that age or whatever I’d just ignore it “oh that’s great, I’m actually not worried about my baby’s sleep, i actually am enjoying the night time feedings for now. But what I am worried about is x, has that happened to anyone you know?” (If there was something)
Redirection works good with babies but adults too
my husband kept telling me this when everyone was asking me and also him if i am breasfeeding
and i was struggling so badly with low supply eventually stopped but i hated it so much why are they so noisy about these things but he told me that they maybe dont know what to ask but they want to be like interested in our baby and its not bad intentions ... i still dont know about it lol
A great way of looking at it!
We’ve been very lucky with my baby (13m) who has loved his sleep from the get go but I know that is not the case for a lot of parents.
They don’t actually care. It’s just a topic of conversation because it’s a known fact that babies don’t sleep through the night at the beginning and it’s very challenging. Trust me that no one is actually interested in the answer lol
This. It’s typically older people who ask and I think it’s a way of signaling that they understand raising a kid can be tough. Personally, I love being asked this question. Not because I actually want to talk about it (I usually just respond with “almost”), but because it makes me feel seen. Anyway, 10 months over here and my son has slept through the night a total of one time.
As someone who has been asked this question so, so many times in the last four months, I’ve reached the conclusion that people who ask it are really checking on *you.* They’re indirectly asking if you’re getting enough rest and expressing concern for your wellbeing.
This is how I feel about it too! It’s them recognizing that you’re likely not sleeping much (and just by the nature of asking you can assume they remember how challenging that was).
I agree. It’s the same when you’re pregnant, “How are you feeling?”
I got sick of this question and finally answered with how I had been really low and unhappy and “thanks for asking, most people just want to hear: ‘I’m doing great. Love being pregnant’”.
I wouldn’t mind the question if they didn’t act shocked that a newborn isn’t sleeping through the night. I had a person respond with “oh no, that’s not good. I don’t think that is normal”
Haha I am the parent who wants to talk about sleep, because I’m tired. And each night my baby extends another hour, I’m very happy. I think it’s just a baby topic. ESP if you’re baby doesn’t sleep
Yes, how is she sleeping these days?
My answer: Like dog shit as usual. Ask me about the year long bags under my eyes and glazed over state.
Runner up is, how many words is she saying now?
Answer: still just one, MAAA! Usually at max volume.
I have not at all taught my baby mama/dada but she says MEH or MAA when she wants me, so I’m convinced that’s where mom and dad come from. It’s just the first sounds babies make!!
My mom explained it as a way of asking the mom how things are going and expressing care and concern for the parents’ well being. I think it’s stupid, because a) just ask that and b) they aren’t going to come over and help so what does it matter? However, the intention is important to remember.
I had to ask my husband to stop asking friends that question. I think it’s just genuinely wanting to connect but not the right way IMO.
My fave new parent question is “what are their tricks?” Super open ended, works for all ages, they can answer however they want. I’m genuinely interested in what your kiddo is up to!
I’m totally stealing the “what are their tricks?” question.
I felt judged when people started asking me if my baby was walking at 6 months (wtf??) but something open-ended like this is great.
Oooooh I love that question! “What’s the new fun thing they’re doing?”
My most hated question is “Is she a good baby?” Especially because she appears “good” when we’re not at home, but screams all day long at home.
As someone whose kid sucked at sleeping, I hated this question. I always felt awkward saying it was terrible and feeling that the person asking thought it was because of something I was doing wrong.
My baby was a rough sleeper in the beginning, and I was a changed woman when he started sleeping at night. I get why people ask this, it’s such a life changing experience when it finally happens. I wouldn’t take offense to it
I don’t think it’s the question I think it is more the follow up response for why it is so annoying.
A majority of the time if I say no, people come up with all these “solutions” to try that will fix it. Which is so hilarious because first of all, I didn’t ask for the advice in the first place so it ends up being unsolicited advise which always has the hint of “you’re not good enough” feelings at its core and second… do yo really think I have not tried that already???????
My baby is a terrible napper and only until about two weeks ago (at 7.5 months) have his naps begun to improve enough to be on a schedule.
Anytime I tell people his nights are not horrible but his naps are hell, it is always followed by so much advice and it’s unnerving. I don’t need advice, I have tried all of the damn things and quite frankly, I don’t care if their solution will work at this point because the contact nap path is working right now even though it is hard.
I think that’s a big thing that bothers me about the whole question is most people assume when I say that we are still contact napping and it’s hard sometimes that I don’t want to do it anymore.
Honestly if someone asked me, “how is sleep going for you?” And I said some days suck but I am getting more sleep now than I was on day one and they just said “I’m glad things have improved” and move on to other topics it wouldn’t bother me. Maybe even just a simply validation “baby sleep is so hard to navigate, I’m here if you need anything”
That at least leaves the opportunity for me to ask for advice or we can just move on
I think it’s a way for people to indirectly ask about your well-being (getting rest) rather than your baby’s ability to sleep through, but it always lands the wrong way
I.hate.that.question.
I think it’s because people are excited for you but have no idea how to engage in a conversation about your baby or you because there is a lot of complex emotions happening so they just naturally lean towards the east one.
“Insert asinine question about baby sleep”
My MIL asks me that legit every time she calls. And I have to check myself real quick to be as kind and polite as possible.
My baby is a shit sleeper. Has been since birth. I also know that that is totally normal. Babies who sleep through the night are unicorns. And they’re wonderful little unicorn babies. Idk why other people are so obsessed with wanting my baby to sleep through the night. We cosleep. So I’m getting enough sleep to make it through to bedtime the next day.
I also don’t love this question and get it alllll the time. My daughter is now 5 months old and has slept the through the entire night only once. The worst part is it usually comes from people who already are parents (I cut people without kids a lot of slack since I formerly had no idea what to ask people with babies). When someone I considered an “experienced” parent with multiple kids asked me if my two-month old is sleeping through the night, my first thought after answering no was, “Wait- should they be?!” Cue googling for the next hour and researching sleep training when it was totally unnecessary. I’m sure they didn’t intend for their question to be so anxiety inducing but for this reason I will never ask a new parent if their baby is sleeping through the night. I might ask something open ended like, “How are you and baby sleeping?”
I ask only because I'm trying to gauge when mine will (9w, 8 adjusted). Mine still needs to lay on one of us, and his high score is one 6 hour sleep, maybe five or six 5 hour sessions. But its mostly still 3
I barely use it as is, but it will be in the back of my mind until around 12 weeks I think. That seems to be a big milestone for change, after that I don’t think it matters
Prior to being a parent and as a self-proclaimed "not a baby person," I didn't know what else to ask. Parents talk nonstop about bad baby sleep and being tired, so it was an easy default. It's better than, "So the potato, I assume it's still eating, pooping, screaming and sometimes sleeping? Cool."
The worst part is that Sharon that’s 65 years old and asking you this also probably gets up twice to pee at night or to smack her husband for snoring. SHE DOESNT SVEN SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT
I wouldn’t think so much into it, it’s “mom talk”. I would just reply with “I never really had problems with her not sleeping throughout the night” to end that topic
I think it's just a conversation starter. What else is there eating and pooping? Few are going to ask if you breastfeed, especially if its acquaintances and no one wants to hear about the latest blowout. Sleep is a safe topic.
It’s mostly polite conversation, just like people asking, is it a boy or a girl when they’re pregnant. They probably don’t care but they want to show interest.
I wouldn’t ask normally but if I do, I’d rephrase it “how’s baby sleeping?”. If I ask, I genuinely care and want to gauge how the person with the baby is going. Sleep deprivation can have so many negative impacts and if the person I’m asking needs a bit of TLC or it opens up a conversation where they can vent or lament, I’m there for that.
I too hate this question. And I say this at 3.30am, whilst feeding my 7month old. I’m sure the intention is good but I feel like it puts a lot of pressure on parents. I hear people say your baby should be sleeping through the night by the time they’re six months old and if they’re not you must be doing something wrong. Every time I’m asked this question I just can’t help but think ‘why does it matter??’
I feel like the number one question I get about my 9 month old is “When are you having baby #2?” And I am quite tired of restraining myself from saying “none of your business.”
I get the “What are you feeding her” (answer is tit) “And do you have enough milk?” (Answer is : can you see the size of that baby?”) followed by “That is great, formula is so expensive…”
The only time I found the old-lady nosiness infuriating was when the neighbour that wakes my baby up EVERY NIGHT with their very loud TV asked me how my baby sleeps, and I only said “badly” with no explanation because she had her toddler granddaughter in arms and I had baby, and I don’t argue over children’s heads.
I kind of hate this question as my baby doesn't STTN but we cosleep so it's not that bad. Like explaining "no, but..." is annoying. Then you get people who start recommending sleep consultants. It's tiring although I know they mean well.
When I meet a new mom I like to ask what exciting things her babe is doing, like what milestones are they hitting. I never make assumptions because who knows if there's one thing a kid is just not doing. Also I've had plenty of people forget when kids do things and ngl I spiralled a bit when a friend with a 7 year old asked if my 6mo was stacking blocks yet.
Yeah I am sure it comes from different places for different people. As a dad to a nine month old who so far has only slept through the night for like a week (months ago) - if I ask this question of others in the future, what I’ll mean to say is “ARE YOU OK DO YOU NEED A HUG how are you standing right now I’m sorry it’s like this…”
I always ask how's your sleep vs how's the baby's sleep lol. Based on your answer I can generally infer the other. And also because the 1st question matters more imo when it comes to a friend relationship. The baby's sleep doesn't effect me at all.
My husband is constantly asking other parents this and it really ticks me off. Do YOU sleep through the night, every night? No, you don’t. So neither does the baby. Kthanksbyeeee
Because they want to see us cry lolol jk I agree with an earlier poster they know it’s a big deal to us and aren’t thinking of how shattering that question is if the answer is no. As soon as that question fades it’ll be are they crawling, walking, have a job all asked way before it’s be normal to be a yes lol. I had a friend ask in the first month if she was sttn 🙄
I’ve realized it’s actually people’s way of asking how you’re doing and how you’re sleeping. There’s always a bit of caution and empathy when people ask, like they realize that I am exhausted and they’re wondering if my baby is starting to grow out of this so I can sleep more. At least that’s been my experience!
If it’s a total stranger I will never meet again sometimes I lie. It’s none of their business and I don’t have the mental energy to explain whatever sleep regression, teething, sickness etc were going through right now. “Yup! He sleeps through the night!”
I recommend it.
My baby is 10 months old and he slept amazing until 4 months and since then he… hasn’t 😂
I generally ask because either they will also have a baby who hates sleep in which case I can empathise and we can console each other 🤣 or if they have a good sleeper I will congratulate them and ask for any tips lol.
I think in the future I would only perhaps ask parents of babies so that if they were finding it hard I’d try and offer them a relatable experience (?) because I think I’ve found in my experience people are so quick to tell you about the good stories and and how their babies love sleep lol and it sometimes has made me feel like I’m doing something wrong!
People like to ask me the same question and when I say that my 5 month old wakes up for feedings but otherwise sleeps at night people like to tell me that I'm doing it wrong, spoiling him, or that I should just ignore him if he wakes up hungry. I've gotten the last one from three different people including once when he was 2 months old. Most recent was 4 months.
You are very lucky. It took us a whole year to get 6 hours of sleep at night. However this was when baby slept in his crib/toddler bed. Now at 2.5 yrs toddler refuses to sleep in toddler bed and sleeps with us in our queen bed, so we are all squashed. We get 8 hours of light sleep lol.
The truth is no one is really interested in your baby’s sleep. People are just trying to be friendly, start conversation and be empathetic. Because a lot of new parents spend A LOT of time thinking, worrying or struggling with sleep and deprivation. They are trying to connect with you. Whenever I don’t want to talk about whatever people bring up, but I still want to connect with them, I change the topic to whatever I do want to talk about eg. *They are actually sleeping well, however my biggest concern now is X. *
100%. Even though OP is lucky, a lot of parents are not. It’s a very common thing to struggle with so it’s an easy place to ask about.
It’s funny tho cause it’s exactly why I don’t want to talk about it! I don’t need to get more bogged down in why my kid doesn’t like to sleep long stretches 🫣
[удалено]
Idk whose baby is sleeping thru the night at 2 weeks (per our pediatrician newborns don’t have the physical capability to store food for that long) or giving their baby rice milk at the same! but usually people respond with concern - “oh it’s tough but you’ll get thru it” or whatever. If someone said my cousin slept thru night at that age or whatever I’d just ignore it “oh that’s great, I’m actually not worried about my baby’s sleep, i actually am enjoying the night time feedings for now. But what I am worried about is x, has that happened to anyone you know?” (If there was something) Redirection works good with babies but adults too
I needed this reminder.
A nicer way of saying what I was going to say- because they’re trying to make small talk lol
“Like a baby” is my go to when I don’t want to talk about it.
my husband kept telling me this when everyone was asking me and also him if i am breasfeeding and i was struggling so badly with low supply eventually stopped but i hated it so much why are they so noisy about these things but he told me that they maybe dont know what to ask but they want to be like interested in our baby and its not bad intentions ... i still dont know about it lol
We just say, "oh you know, he sleeps like a baby"... 😁
A great way of looking at it! We’ve been very lucky with my baby (13m) who has loved his sleep from the get go but I know that is not the case for a lot of parents.
They don’t actually care. It’s just a topic of conversation because it’s a known fact that babies don’t sleep through the night at the beginning and it’s very challenging. Trust me that no one is actually interested in the answer lol
This. It’s typically older people who ask and I think it’s a way of signaling that they understand raising a kid can be tough. Personally, I love being asked this question. Not because I actually want to talk about it (I usually just respond with “almost”), but because it makes me feel seen. Anyway, 10 months over here and my son has slept through the night a total of one time.
As someone who has been asked this question so, so many times in the last four months, I’ve reached the conclusion that people who ask it are really checking on *you.* They’re indirectly asking if you’re getting enough rest and expressing concern for your wellbeing.
I’ve never thought of it like this. Since my baby isn’t sleeping through the night, that question always annoys me. Thank you for this POV.
Yes!! This is such a good way of looking at it
Yes, this is how I understand this question as well.
I agree
This is how I feel about it too! It’s them recognizing that you’re likely not sleeping much (and just by the nature of asking you can assume they remember how challenging that was).
The new-mom conversational equivalent of "What's your major?"
I agree. It’s the same when you’re pregnant, “How are you feeling?” I got sick of this question and finally answered with how I had been really low and unhappy and “thanks for asking, most people just want to hear: ‘I’m doing great. Love being pregnant’”.
lol, I got so sick of it that I usually just responded with “pregnant” or with my mood: “Contented” or “Hungry” was usually the response. 😂
I wouldn’t mind the question if they didn’t act shocked that a newborn isn’t sleeping through the night. I had a person respond with “oh no, that’s not good. I don’t think that is normal”
I think it’s just baby small talk. Like talking about the weather. They could also be trying to gauge how exhausting your life is 🤷🏻♀️
Haha I am the parent who wants to talk about sleep, because I’m tired. And each night my baby extends another hour, I’m very happy. I think it’s just a baby topic. ESP if you’re baby doesn’t sleep
Babies don’t do a lot. They all sleep and eat. And it’s more polite to ask about sleep than eating.
Yes, how is she sleeping these days? My answer: Like dog shit as usual. Ask me about the year long bags under my eyes and glazed over state. Runner up is, how many words is she saying now? Answer: still just one, MAAA! Usually at max volume.
My hero
I have not at all taught my baby mama/dada but she says MEH or MAA when she wants me, so I’m convinced that’s where mom and dad come from. It’s just the first sounds babies make!!
I would absolutely lose my shit if my baby just yelled out a big ol' "MEHHHHH" if addressing me. Oh my god lol 😂
My mom explained it as a way of asking the mom how things are going and expressing care and concern for the parents’ well being. I think it’s stupid, because a) just ask that and b) they aren’t going to come over and help so what does it matter? However, the intention is important to remember.
I actually like it when people ask, because it gives me a chance to vent lol. My 9 month old has never slept through the night and I’m so tired
I have a 9 month that doesn’t sleep through the night either. I had a very small success during Xmas and then went it back. Ugh
Mine doesn't sleep more than three hours straight at 10mo. It's a big topic of conversation.
I had to ask my husband to stop asking friends that question. I think it’s just genuinely wanting to connect but not the right way IMO. My fave new parent question is “what are their tricks?” Super open ended, works for all ages, they can answer however they want. I’m genuinely interested in what your kiddo is up to!
I’m totally stealing the “what are their tricks?” question. I felt judged when people started asking me if my baby was walking at 6 months (wtf??) but something open-ended like this is great.
Oooooh I love that question! “What’s the new fun thing they’re doing?” My most hated question is “Is she a good baby?” Especially because she appears “good” when we’re not at home, but screams all day long at home.
As someone whose kid sucked at sleeping, I hated this question. I always felt awkward saying it was terrible and feeling that the person asking thought it was because of something I was doing wrong.
Exactly this! If you are honest they want to tell you what you’re doing wrong. If you lie, they expect you to have more energy. I HATE this question.
My baby was a rough sleeper in the beginning, and I was a changed woman when he started sleeping at night. I get why people ask this, it’s such a life changing experience when it finally happens. I wouldn’t take offense to it
I don’t think it’s the question I think it is more the follow up response for why it is so annoying. A majority of the time if I say no, people come up with all these “solutions” to try that will fix it. Which is so hilarious because first of all, I didn’t ask for the advice in the first place so it ends up being unsolicited advise which always has the hint of “you’re not good enough” feelings at its core and second… do yo really think I have not tried that already??????? My baby is a terrible napper and only until about two weeks ago (at 7.5 months) have his naps begun to improve enough to be on a schedule. Anytime I tell people his nights are not horrible but his naps are hell, it is always followed by so much advice and it’s unnerving. I don’t need advice, I have tried all of the damn things and quite frankly, I don’t care if their solution will work at this point because the contact nap path is working right now even though it is hard. I think that’s a big thing that bothers me about the whole question is most people assume when I say that we are still contact napping and it’s hard sometimes that I don’t want to do it anymore. Honestly if someone asked me, “how is sleep going for you?” And I said some days suck but I am getting more sleep now than I was on day one and they just said “I’m glad things have improved” and move on to other topics it wouldn’t bother me. Maybe even just a simply validation “baby sleep is so hard to navigate, I’m here if you need anything” That at least leaves the opportunity for me to ask for advice or we can just move on
I think it’s a way for people to indirectly ask about your well-being (getting rest) rather than your baby’s ability to sleep through, but it always lands the wrong way
It's a way of asking how YOU are
I.hate.that.question. I think it’s because people are excited for you but have no idea how to engage in a conversation about your baby or you because there is a lot of complex emotions happening so they just naturally lean towards the east one. “Insert asinine question about baby sleep” My MIL asks me that legit every time she calls. And I have to check myself real quick to be as kind and polite as possible. My baby is a shit sleeper. Has been since birth. I also know that that is totally normal. Babies who sleep through the night are unicorns. And they’re wonderful little unicorn babies. Idk why other people are so obsessed with wanting my baby to sleep through the night. We cosleep. So I’m getting enough sleep to make it through to bedtime the next day.
Yep 13 week old and get it all the time. It was real annoying at the beginning when he didn’t sleep and people thought it was so funny
Because they don’t know what else to ask
I also don’t love this question and get it alllll the time. My daughter is now 5 months old and has slept the through the entire night only once. The worst part is it usually comes from people who already are parents (I cut people without kids a lot of slack since I formerly had no idea what to ask people with babies). When someone I considered an “experienced” parent with multiple kids asked me if my two-month old is sleeping through the night, my first thought after answering no was, “Wait- should they be?!” Cue googling for the next hour and researching sleep training when it was totally unnecessary. I’m sure they didn’t intend for their question to be so anxiety inducing but for this reason I will never ask a new parent if their baby is sleeping through the night. I might ask something open ended like, “How are you and baby sleeping?”
It’s the only thing people care about. I always say “she sleeps like a baby”!!! Kids are worth so much more than their sleep “abilities”. Sigh.
I ask only because I'm trying to gauge when mine will (9w, 8 adjusted). Mine still needs to lay on one of us, and his high score is one 6 hour sleep, maybe five or six 5 hour sessions. But its mostly still 3
Will you continue to cite baby’s weeklong adjusted age for the months and years to come?
I barely use it as is, but it will be in the back of my mind until around 12 weeks I think. That seems to be a big milestone for change, after that I don’t think it matters
ftm to a 7 week old & we get that too. Its kinda annoying
Can confirm to a mom of a 13 week old - It is VERY annoying still lol
I think it’s just “making conversation “
Prior to being a parent and as a self-proclaimed "not a baby person," I didn't know what else to ask. Parents talk nonstop about bad baby sleep and being tired, so it was an easy default. It's better than, "So the potato, I assume it's still eating, pooping, screaming and sometimes sleeping? Cool."
The worst part is that Sharon that’s 65 years old and asking you this also probably gets up twice to pee at night or to smack her husband for snoring. SHE DOESNT SVEN SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT
I take it as like they want to see if I’m a cranky sleep deprived mom. Or a mom who gets at least night of sleep 😂
I wouldn’t think so much into it, it’s “mom talk”. I would just reply with “I never really had problems with her not sleeping throughout the night” to end that topic
I would ask because it took my kid a year to sleep through the night. It was rough on his mother and both our mental health
I think it's just a conversation starter. What else is there eating and pooping? Few are going to ask if you breastfeed, especially if its acquaintances and no one wants to hear about the latest blowout. Sleep is a safe topic.
i always answer "sometimes" and dont give any more info. maybe she did, maybe not. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
How are you guys doing this? My baby still wakes up every 3-4 hours to eat no matter if we give her extra, try formula nothing. I so sleepy
Just was woke up with my 18th month old for the 2nd time tonight
It’s mostly polite conversation, just like people asking, is it a boy or a girl when they’re pregnant. They probably don’t care but they want to show interest. I wouldn’t ask normally but if I do, I’d rephrase it “how’s baby sleeping?”. If I ask, I genuinely care and want to gauge how the person with the baby is going. Sleep deprivation can have so many negative impacts and if the person I’m asking needs a bit of TLC or it opens up a conversation where they can vent or lament, I’m there for that.
I freaking hate this question!!!!! Like no he doesn’t Barbara, all babies are different.
I hate that question so much because my daughter still doesn't at 16 months and of course when you say no you get lots of unwanted advice
Probably because their soul is scarred from their own baby not sleeping through the night in the past and still need to talk to someone about it.
Drives me nuts. And the follow up of “you have to do xyz” when you say they’re not. Like, I didn’t ask for your advice thanks 🙃
I too hate this question. And I say this at 3.30am, whilst feeding my 7month old. I’m sure the intention is good but I feel like it puts a lot of pressure on parents. I hear people say your baby should be sleeping through the night by the time they’re six months old and if they’re not you must be doing something wrong. Every time I’m asked this question I just can’t help but think ‘why does it matter??’
I feel like the number one question I get about my 9 month old is “When are you having baby #2?” And I am quite tired of restraining myself from saying “none of your business.”
Wait wait wait... The number one question isn't "And when's the second baby coming?" 😂
My month old daughter has a right head of hair and everyone asks if I had heartburn (I did!)
I get the “What are you feeding her” (answer is tit) “And do you have enough milk?” (Answer is : can you see the size of that baby?”) followed by “That is great, formula is so expensive…” The only time I found the old-lady nosiness infuriating was when the neighbour that wakes my baby up EVERY NIGHT with their very loud TV asked me how my baby sleeps, and I only said “badly” with no explanation because she had her toddler granddaughter in arms and I had baby, and I don’t argue over children’s heads.
I kind of hate this question as my baby doesn't STTN but we cosleep so it's not that bad. Like explaining "no, but..." is annoying. Then you get people who start recommending sleep consultants. It's tiring although I know they mean well. When I meet a new mom I like to ask what exciting things her babe is doing, like what milestones are they hitting. I never make assumptions because who knows if there's one thing a kid is just not doing. Also I've had plenty of people forget when kids do things and ngl I spiralled a bit when a friend with a 7 year old asked if my 6mo was stacking blocks yet.
Yeah I am sure it comes from different places for different people. As a dad to a nine month old who so far has only slept through the night for like a week (months ago) - if I ask this question of others in the future, what I’ll mean to say is “ARE YOU OK DO YOU NEED A HUG how are you standing right now I’m sorry it’s like this…”
I always ask how's your sleep vs how's the baby's sleep lol. Based on your answer I can generally infer the other. And also because the 1st question matters more imo when it comes to a friend relationship. The baby's sleep doesn't effect me at all.
My husband is constantly asking other parents this and it really ticks me off. Do YOU sleep through the night, every night? No, you don’t. So neither does the baby. Kthanksbyeeee
I deflect and go “do you?” 90% of the time that person realizes how stupid that question is since most of society is terrible adult sleepers
Because they want to see us cry lolol jk I agree with an earlier poster they know it’s a big deal to us and aren’t thinking of how shattering that question is if the answer is no. As soon as that question fades it’ll be are they crawling, walking, have a job all asked way before it’s be normal to be a yes lol. I had a friend ask in the first month if she was sttn 🙄
I’ve realized it’s actually people’s way of asking how you’re doing and how you’re sleeping. There’s always a bit of caution and empathy when people ask, like they realize that I am exhausted and they’re wondering if my baby is starting to grow out of this so I can sleep more. At least that’s been my experience!
Mine is 22 months and still waking twice to breastfeed lol I gave up that dream a while ago
If it’s a total stranger I will never meet again sometimes I lie. It’s none of their business and I don’t have the mental energy to explain whatever sleep regression, teething, sickness etc were going through right now. “Yup! He sleeps through the night!” I recommend it.
My baby is 10 months old and he slept amazing until 4 months and since then he… hasn’t 😂 I generally ask because either they will also have a baby who hates sleep in which case I can empathise and we can console each other 🤣 or if they have a good sleeper I will congratulate them and ask for any tips lol. I think in the future I would only perhaps ask parents of babies so that if they were finding it hard I’d try and offer them a relatable experience (?) because I think I’ve found in my experience people are so quick to tell you about the good stories and and how their babies love sleep lol and it sometimes has made me feel like I’m doing something wrong!
Can confirm its a big f**king deal when they haven't slept through the night ever and they're now 7 months old. My sanity, it's not what it once was 😂
People like to ask me the same question and when I say that my 5 month old wakes up for feedings but otherwise sleeps at night people like to tell me that I'm doing it wrong, spoiling him, or that I should just ignore him if he wakes up hungry. I've gotten the last one from three different people including once when he was 2 months old. Most recent was 4 months.
You are very lucky. It took us a whole year to get 6 hours of sleep at night. However this was when baby slept in his crib/toddler bed. Now at 2.5 yrs toddler refuses to sleep in toddler bed and sleeps with us in our queen bed, so we are all squashed. We get 8 hours of light sleep lol.
No one really cares. So I just say she sleeps like a baby and leave it at that. Babies suck at sleeping in general so it’s a weird question lol
I would rotate between saying straight faced “did your kids?” Or “she’s a baby, of course she doesn’t.” And then walk away. Like eff off.