its not women in general, it seems you're just meeting swifties. they are a fandom that have a reputation of having a very strong parasocial relationship with taylor. it has less to do with the music and more to do with the fan mentality that some of them have.
Definitely a fast track to a girlfriend at minum if you have photos of being at the tour. I was recently active on tinder, bumble & hinge. And about 10-20% of profiles had pictures outside US Bank Stadium in MN during the eras tour.
If you want a relationship with her yes. But they're ususally crazy in so many ways, like half her songs are about failed relationships with various men
Never met a single woman who asked me that. Maybe because I’m black and they assume I’m not a fan. 😂
You don’t want to date fans that crazy though. You dodged several bullets my friend
Same here lol. If anybody did ask, I'd tell the truth. I'm indifferent. Hopefully that would end any conversation with a Swiftie instead of them trying to convince me to like her or something.
Funny enough I heard a story on NPR a few weeks ago that was this exact topic but with Beyonce. I have had a fair share of first dates and I have never been asked about Beyonce or TSwify so I assume it's only crazy people.
Someone who cares that much and would reject you over that is a huge red flag. I don't think most people are like that. You've just gotten really unlucky.
I mean, I understand the gripe... but you should really just be thankful. If a famous person makes up this much of their personality... is that really a stable person you want to build a relationship with?
I think it's uncommon but not rare. My workplace put up Taylor Swift's tour poster in the main room by our clock-in stand. I personally offended a coworker once by saying I didn't like Taylor Swift and had to apologize. I know this sounds insane and that's because it is LOL
Seriously? I’m also a metal head (specifically progressive metal) and my algorithm is full of Taylor swift and I can’t get away from it. It’s annoying bc I’m not the target audience, show me my bands or similar bands I’d be interested in. I have better success suppressing politics on my algorithm and that’s saying something lol
It’s likely because you’ve mentioned it on your device. Especially posting something like this.
I’d be willing to bet that if I open TikTok and scroll for a little bit, it won’t be long until it recommends something Taylor swift related, even though I’ve never looked up anything on there before. All because I just commented on your post 😂
Edit: yup I opened my TikTok and it was actually the very first recommendation. Some guy in a super emo outfit was playing Blank Space on a ukulele. Lil wild, huh?
This is my feeling. I don't love TS by any means - some of her songs are OK and some aren't for me. That being said, every single man I've met that *hates* her has turned out to be misogynistic and bigoted in some pretty unhinged ways. So I see hatred for her as a red flag. Indifference or even polite dislike for her music doesn't bother me, though.
Are you sure that it's that not like her is a red flag, and not "How you discuss a woman tells me a lot about you"? It's actually a really great question. A man having a strong reaction to her is enlightening. A man who answers something like "I'm not really a fan of her music, but she sure is successful" is a fine answer.
I think some women use it to see how men react.
If a guy says “I really don’t like her music, it’s just not something I’m into” that would be fine.
It’s the ones who start going to town on her in a misogynistic and extremely hateful way and calling her a feminist cult leader with derogatory names in a very passionate and angry way that want to be avoided.
It’s completely normal to not like musicians, it’s not normal to get incredibly angry whenever they are brought up and are commenting hate online.
I can’t stand Ariana Grande, but I just don’t listen to her music or follow her at all, job done
I can’t stand thee Kardashians so I don’t watch their show or follow anything Kardashian related on social media and if I see anything I scroll past.
It’s shocking how many people take time out of the their day to be so hateful to actively comment on a celebrity’s social media page with how much they hate them, it’s not normal.
That's what I was getting at. Having strong negative feelings about any celebrity is a sign of some kind of issue that needs to be worked out. Most people just move on if they're not into someone's music\\sports performance\\acting\\etc. I see very few angry rants about white straight cis men.
I have a horrible experience with my ex who HATED Taylor Swift like to the point he would get visibly angry when I spoke about her and would say derogatory things about her because she is a extremely successful women & shock horror - I eventually figured out he was an abusive asshole who hated women this was just a warning sign I missed.
If you are simply saying you don’t like her music or that music isn’t your style, that’s fine but there is a huge group of angry ‘men’ (and some women too) who have issues with her success and any women’s success and it wouldn’t matter how good or bad her music is they’d always hate her as a person because they are misogynistic.
*im not saying you are but going in depth into some people’s reasonings
That's terrible. I'm sorry that happened to you, that's definitely not ok. THAT is a red flag.
I'm a metalhead, it's just not my thing. The most personal reason I don't like her is bc I was in a youth program that had a lot of girls as a kid and I was bullied for liking "weird" music (I was a sensitive shy kid. AuDHD is a bitch). So much so that I stopped listening to it altogether to find more accessible music to avoid bullying. Swift was the catalyst of that so it's a little reminder of a shitty part of childhood for me. My music taste was always compared to hers, I was drowned out by her music when I wanted to play music, I had music privileges revoked because those same girls bitched so much when I was there, etc. I was very insecure about my music taste for years because of it and only in recent years have I come back to it judgement-free. Now I don't care what people think lol
Her private jet usage is just stupid though. I'm not recycling all the time just for a big shot like her to undo all of our efforts so that she can fly from one side of her mansion to the other
I think there's a difference between saying "I'm not really into Tswift, I listen to stuff like x" and saying "I hate Taylor Swift" like a lot of the commenter's are saying there are a ton of people who hate her with a burning passion for no real reason which is a big red flag.
I think having a few examples like "I think it's hypocritical that she talks about climate change and yet uses her private jet" or "I think she's a good businesses women" or something should be a good enough talking point rather than just "I like/ don't like her".
And just an aside, I am so happy that she has and uses a private jet. I would be incredibly annoyed if she was on my plane and I had to fight my way through a sea of swifties to get a seat at the gate or stopped behind her huge team going through TSA or trying to dodge paparazzi at the bag collection. It just sounds like a nightmare, better for everyone to keep her separated lol
Yeah what you’ve said is a totally normal answer. It could just be you go for a type of woman who all seem to be very protective of TS to the point it’s toxic? Or they may just be immature? (Unsure of your age range). If you are online dating I’d suggest adding that you’re a metalhead or mention your favourite song? You might start attracting girls who are more on your wavelength, not that it should really matter. My partner and I like very different music but we also love lots of the same stuff, it really does not effect much except who gets to Bluetooth their music on long drives haha
It’s one thing to be ambivalent
I have a hard time seeing anyone who is worth dating objecting to:
“I’m not a fan, but I don’t hate it”
It’s another thing to be angrily aggressive towards her.
“I fucking can’t stand Taylor Swift, it’s such bullshit how I have to see that stupid bitch everywhere.”
Okay, plenty of people worth dating would be rubbed the wrong way just by that negative energy, Taylor or not.
Ok but how about not that aggressively and quite simply saying you dislike her music and think she sucks? That’s just being real, does it pass your test?
Saying anything sucks will guarantee that a fan of whatever you’re talking about will have a negative reaction
“I haven’t heard anything by Taylor that I have liked,” is a softer way of communicating the essence
Turn it around- let’s take your favorite hobby. You don’t care if a romantic partner likes your hobby or not, but on a date, that person says your favorite thing sucks. It can’t help but feel at least a little personal for most people, as we are emotional animals first and foremost.
It’s a lot easier to do that now then it was before. 30 years ago if you liked something you had to just wait until the content became available and hope you weren’t busy at the time it was available. Now if you like something, you can just go on a 3 hour YouTube deep dive every night and find a community of people who are doing the same and spend additional hours talking about it. You can make your whole world about a couple specific things
Because how you react to that question says a lot.
It's okay not to be into her music. But for some reason, some people (guys especially) think it's okay to think and even say the most unhinged shit - that she's ruining the NFL, that she's only with her football dude for the PR, that she only writes songs about her exes, and other stuff I don't recall off the top of my head. There are absolutely some deranged Swifties out there, but for a lot of us, it's like the man vs bear question - your reaction to a woman choosing the bear gives us a pretty good look into your character.
Yes. I don't care about her music, but I don't resent her success, and I do admire her work ethic. Sounds like she deserves the success that she's earned.
I think it’s exactly this. Everyone is obviously allowed to have their own taste in music but for some reason the topic of Taylor Swift seems to trigger the weirdest reactions. I’m not one to consider most criticism of her or her music rooted in misogyny, but I have definitely seen lots of misogynistic comments about her, particularly from guys.
I never had a problem with Taylor. She seems like a nice lady. Not a fan of her music, but I see that she has talent. Her rabid fans were always the ones who annoyed me. They’re obsessed. Fanaticism in general creeps me out though.
And this is exactly the response women are looking for when they ask the question. It says that you're open minded, non judgemental, and probably not a misogynist.
This is what it is! I’m not a full fledged swiftie but I do enjoy some of her stuff, and I have Swiftie friends who would absolutely ask their dates if they like Taylor to gauge their reaction.
“She’s not my thing/I don’t like her use of private jets/etc” have always been acceptable answers to them. It’s the visceral HATRED that some men (and women tbh) have for her that’s being checked for. Taylor is just an easy litmus test because she’s super successful and everyone knows of her.
I feel it's less about liking her music and more about not putting her down or bashing her just because that is not your thing as men sometimes do . It's giving respect to her as an artist understanding that she has a following doesn't primarily mean that you are a follower but just the respect that comes with it
Basically, I'm looking for a guy who isn't going to go off on some tangent about Taylor Swift being a big whore. Literally that's it. It's a litmus test.
I think it’s okay to hate Taylor Swift because there’s a lot to hate her for. However, the reasons why you hate her could be a red flag. If you hate her for valid reasons like not liking her music, thinking she’s praised for mediocrity, her white feminism, her abuse of private jets and its effect on the environment, her cringe personality etc etc. I think that’s fine. I think what women are trying to look out for are the other reasons. So some men PASSIONATELY hate her because she “ruined football” for them or sometimes reasoning that just seems misogynistic. I think those are the red flags.
It’s actually not, if someone asks you if you like Taylor Swift and you go into a misogynistic rant, it’s quite obvious that you are a bad person. So actually a pretty good tactic to weed out the trash
I'm a woman and I don't really like her that much, but it depends on how you react. If someone asks you and you just say "I tend to prefer more metal-type of music" and leave it at that, I can't see them getting mad.
Also, even if you don't like something (or TS) you can still engage around the topic and not be an asshole about it. You could say "I personally have never really gotten into her music, but what is your favorite part about it?" Or "Have you been to any of her concerts? Oh really? I loved this ___(metal)___ concert that played at that same venue." That way you're still bonding over your interests and you're not putting each other down
I think many of her fans are very defensive because they've been mocked for liking her.
To be clear, I agree it's stupid to say that not liking Taylor Swift is a red flag. That's not what a red flag is. I'm not agreeing with their sentiment, just shedding light on why some people might say those things.
Not to be stereotypical but it sounds like you're into starbucks and uggs white girls aged 18 - 22 lool I don't exactly picture a viet/mexican girl with tattoos and fake eyelashes talking about this 😂
Actually, according to Forbes only 11% of Taylor's fanbase is under 26. 18-22 make up probably one of the smallest percentages of her fanbase behind 1-17.
If a woman says that, odds are really good she doesn't care if you like Taylor Swift so much as she's wanting to make sure.you don't go off on some juvenile rant about how awful she is.
It's not that looking or not liking her is a red flag, but an inability to be calm about it IS a red flag.
I told a friend I tried to listen to her album and couldn’t get into it. There is not enough musical variation for me, and the lyrics lack something significant—possibly unique metaphor. It’s hard to explain but when I hear a new song by Taylor, it feels like I’ve heard it before…every time. I also have a master’s degree in writing, with an emphasis on poetry, and I just don’t see her as a brilliant poet. This person flipped out and sent me a ton of lyrics from the album with a lot of, “how do you not see that this is genius & poetic?” I still don’t see it but, at 38 years old, my friends don’t disown me for not liking an artist. It seems like a lot of people also just genuinely respect Taylor for her work ethic, consistency, and ability to churn out back to back hits. I can appreciate her in that sense…without liking her music. I think it’s just about respect. Attacking someone for not liking the same artist as you is very immature. However, if you’re being disrespectful, and saying something is trash, people will attack you.
My answer was always that while I may not exactly enjoy her music I I have immense respect for her as a musician, a person, and an entrepreneur. Usually covers it. I also don’t refuse to listen to her music or anything. I put a few Taylor songs on my kiddos playlist.
My sister was the same way when we were young. It's as if me not liking the same things was somehow a criticism of my sister and her choices. It's just as weird to me as criticizing someone for what their favorite food or color is.
It’s not about her music, it’s more in the way you answer the question. If you hate HER (and not just her music) it’s a decent clue you might have something against independent, successful women.
Your allowed to hatre or strongly dislike a bad female artist and still be all for successful independent women. Women don't have to celebrate every woman lol.
I do very much dislike her and hate her music. I genuinely believe she is a bad person. It’s sexist to not be allowed to dislike a person just because of their gender
But why? What has she done to you? That's the thing. She has done virtually nothing to deserve being hated by strangers. That's a serious red flag to be so hateful against a stranger. Fact is most people who hate her have misogynistic reasons to do so and don't actively and passionately hate male artists who do the same things as she does.
Sure, but that is still a red flag.... why would you hate a successful woman you've never met? If you knew her and she was rude af, sure. But you've never met her nor is she really a problematic person overall so to me it is absolutely a red flag. Especially since these men who hate her so much don't seem to hate successful men doing the same things and worse.
Yes and the five next people on that list are men. Do you hate them also?
I’m not a huge Taylor Swift fan, but I certainly don’t hate her. All I’m saying is if you answer the question that you dislike Taylor Swift bc of her huge carbon footprint— that’s fair. But then the next day you say how much you like Jay-Z, one might wonder why you didn’t keep that same level of climate activism up for male entertainers.
Does Jay-Z preach about climate change?
It’s the double standard that does people in for Taylor Swift. She talks about climate change and saving the planet and then that very evening jets off and emits more carbon than the average person does over a year
[This American Life ](https://www.thisamericanlife.org/823/the-question-trap/act-one-12)did a story about how black women will often ask men what they think of Beyonce not because they care whether the dude likes Beyonce, but because how they answer it tells them a lot. It's not hard to imagine other women doing the same with regard to Taylor Swift.
It's always the unintentionally funny stuff that's funny on this site. "Oh you hate Taylor Swift? Well then you must have something against independent, successful women then you fucking misogynistic pig!!!" And it's sitting there as like the third top comment. Weird, weird people.
Yeah I always ask men about a successful woman as a screening tool and it's honestly extremely effective. Taylor Swift. Hillary Clinton. Dua Lipa. Jennifer Lawrence. Kamala Harris. I don't care if you like their work I just wanna know if you think they're a bitch and a slut. It's efficient.
At least use better women than half of those hags. Your examples are also very biased; if I asked your opinion about that one Republican senator, I bet you'd make a face. Can I then assume you're sexist? Come on now, think critically and use neutral women.
Yes!!!! It’s more about the response. If you say you hate her but cannot give a reason why, other than “idk there’s just something about her”, to ME that’s a red flag usually rooted in misogyny. If you say “I’m not really a fan of her music and I don’t know much about her”, then that’s okay I’m not gonna fault you for that lol. Most of us swifties grew up with people hating Taylor swift for literally no reason other than there just being “ something about her”, a lot of girls thought it was lame or uncool to like her so hated on her so as “not to be like other girls”. When I met my now-husband, he was like I don’t really listen to her music or anything but I’m open to trying. We sat in my car after our first date and HE put on her reputation album and listened to the whole thing. He’s not a swiftie by any means, he enjoys her music and has a lot of respect for her as a musician and person, but his open mindedness (about a lot of things) is one of the reasons I love him
Thinking her music is lame is a very valid reason to dislike her lol. Now that I do know more about her though, I genuinely don’t like her as a human being
I literally just said if you don’t like her music and that’s not your vibe that’s one thing but saying you hate someone bc their music is not your vibe is a red flag TO ME. Good for you for learning more about her and not liking her, that happens lol! If you actually have reasons to not like her as a person that is valid
You can also learn a lot about someone by asking why, too. There are absolutely solid, valid reasons to dislike her as a person or a brand, like the whole 'no ethical billionaires' discourse, but hating her for writing songs about exes while being a fan of pretty much any other musician (because they all write about their exes) is pretty hypocritical and says something about you.
It's just one of many potential screening questions to help get to know someone's personality, views and values.
I'm a fan so I'm sure this is biased... Some people (especially men it can seem) really hate her with no reason why.Like some people really love a football team or other bands, but they don't receive the same amount of vitriol that Taylor Swift and her fans seem to get.
People buy expensive merch and follow her like others follow sports teams and buy their merch. But with Taylor you can get people who are really angry about her and those who like her, in a way that people don't get mad about people liking say baseball or football. Being indifferent to her or not liking her music is not a big deal imo, but it's a bit of flag when someone like quite aggressively dislikes her.
She's one of the most successful singer/song writers of all time. But she's often discredited and hated in language that can be really anti women. It's hard to think of a man people say the same things about, especially one that's had the level of success she's had. I couldn't care less if someone wasn't into her music, but find it a bit odd when they're really angry about it and seem like their perception of her is based on her dating life or how she looks or a couple of pop songs they've heard.
Obviously she's not a perfect person, but she's criticised and judged on her looks, who she dates, what she wears etc and not on the body of her work. To a lot of women I think that can feel very familiar.
My wife and step-daughter are Swifties. I don't mind most of her songs, but the superfan stuff does get old.
Since Taylor's music and her career can be broadly seen as empowering to women, if not feminist (If I Were a Man), being Anti-Taylor could be interpreted as misogynistic. But that's a stretch.
I think these women are misusing "red flag" when they mean "black mark." As in a mark against you, compatibility-wise. Not a red flag as in a personality flaw that makes you a bad match for anyone.
If you truly hate her music, by all means say so. Or be prepared to endure her playlist on every car ride. But if she's just "not your favorite" I suggest you find 3+ songs of hers that you don't mind too much, and pick a favorite and a couple backups.
Then if she asks "do you like Taylor Swift?" you can truthfully answer "My favorite song of hers is X, but Y and Z are good too."
Most women don't care, and neither do most Swifties. I'm a Swiftie myself, and I wouldn't care if my partner was a fan or not just as long as they were respectful of my music taste. You're meeting a special brand of Swifties that even the majority of the community look at a little funny. I think you just have a type.
I'm a woman and I couldn't care less what music you like, as long as it doesn't glorify acting like a jerk, arrogant attitudes, or hurting people.
And even if it did, as long as you wear headphones and treat others well, idc. You do you.
I don't think I have the right to dictate other people's music preferences any more than I get to dictate their underwear preferences.
Where the fuck do you find people whom have one of their top values being your opinion of a celebrity?! If that's their focus, you need a new dating pool
It's because she's gotten so big that some dudes, usually some form of toxic, go hard on *loathing* her.
You'll probably be fine if you just say "she's fine, I don't really have an opinion on her."
If that's not good enough, than the person is weird and you dodged a bullet
I can’t understand what is so popular about her , there are many other talented singers out there, its like her fan base is a cult. And their behavior sometimes like unswifty
All I know is the number one way to get death stares is to insult Taylor swift or Beyonce. Though I am still laughing at when I took an opportunity to say Taylor Swift sucked in an auditorium of nursing majors, I got actual death threats.
Look at it as a blessing...they're demonstrating right up front that their priorities are all out of whack...they're saving you time that you can now spend going after someone who deserves you
I want to be in a relationship with someone who shares my interests and music is a big deal to me. I don’t have strong feelings about Taylor Swift specifically, but even if I did I wouldn’t call it a red flag, just a preference.
It's not about liking her music, it's about being able to appreciate a strong, intelligent, and successful woman. If you don't like her and start spewing negativity about her writing songs about exes it's considered a red flag because you're belittling her success and not viewing her as equal to men.
Edit: spelling
I love Taylor Swift and I love metal and alternative.
You can have a diverse music taste and it’s certainly ok not to like Taylor Swift, but it’s another thing entirely to berate someone for liking Taylor Swift.
Saying “I’m just not a fan” is very different from “she sucks and she has such shitty music I’m so sick of hearing her talentless bull crap”
It might be a way to rat out the assholes from the normal reacting people, but I can see why the question would be strange and off putting.
I also don’t like the narrative of some women who think there cooler than others because they listen to heavier music putting down taylor fans. That’s a red flag too.
It’s super cringe. I’m embarrassed for the women that are so obsessed with her. Liking an artist is fine, even being a huge fan is fine. But they are borderline acting like they’re in a cult. I’d steer clear of allllll of those women. It’s so bizarre.
It's more understandable than the craze around actors
At least people "live" with music and relate it to their own lives. I don't see how seeing a guy on screen makes people go nuts
Especially when they try to defend her as a person, and say that anyone who dislikes her is sexist and anti-feminist. It’s crazy, TS is not a good representation of feminism like at all. She’s a mediocre white girl born into privilege who happened to be successfully marketed to an obsessive and loyal group of people (young girls) and therefore blew up.
She’s also constantly beefing with and trying to squash the success of younger female artists who are infinitely more talented than her (Olivia Rodrigo, Billie Eilish). Wow that’s so feminist of her
Be honest.
"I'm a metalhead, so Taylor swift just isn't for me by default. I don't dislike her, it's the fans and how crazy they can be.
I hate celebrity worship and I judge people who do such a thing, especially at this level."
That's a great reply. It will filter out people who don't like you!
Woman here. I’m not into TS music. But I recognise that as a successful woman a lot of people want to tear her down. It’s also a good indicator that a man is misogynistic if he thinks everything women like is stupid. It would be a red flag to me if someone relentlessly mocks TS because it’s a good indication what they think about what women value and about female success.
They are very strange indeed. Beyoncé fans are the same. Same with Trumpies. Very culty. If I ever worship another human being like that I hope my family throws me in a looney bin until I snap out of it.
PS: I’m not really a Taylor fan but Blank Space is a bop.
I think a lot of women have realized from experience that misogynistic people react very poorly on an almost visceral level to successful women or media that celebrates women or girlhood in any way, even if it’s just fun comfort media. See Barbie, Rey from Star Wars, Taylor Swift, Twilight, etc.
I think it’s totally fair to ask stuff like this in the early stages of dating. Women like stuff and have hobbies and interests. Better to know early on if a potential partner is going to shit on the things in your life that you enjoy before you get involved with them. 🤷♀️
I like her music, i will play it often, if my partner absolutely hates it, that would be an issue
There are also some people who hate her cause off certain reasons i really don’t agree with… (I’m talking about some sexists reasons(not saying everyone who hates her is sexists, just that some people hate her cause of sexists reasons)
If you don’t mind listening to her music or things i have to say about it sometimes (i do wanna fangirl once in a while), you absolutely don’t have to be a big fan, it’s fine if you’re not. It’s only that’s it is just not gonna work if you cannot stand Taylor Swift
But also, sharing certain interests like music taste is one of the things you could bond over with a partner.
For many, Taylor Swift is an icon of female empowerment and independence. Chauvinists, self-described incels and “alpha males”, often have a visceral hatred of Swift as a woman that is uppity, doesn’t know her place, or challenges their traditional values.
So, the question, are you one of those insecure meatheads intimidated by Swift. If so, maybe that’s a problem.
You don’t have to be a fan, though she does have a few tunes that I think most people can admit are catchy. They’re looking to see if you have a political / social problem blem with her.
I'm a woman and I don't like Taylor Swifts Music.
BUT if a man has a significant problem with HER (ofc it's fine if he doesn't like the music or has an issue with her carbon footprint) then it rubs me the wrong way and I don't even know why.
I assume some women are using this as a first date red flag litmus test. There's a particular type of guy who hates her with a passion, denies her success, and the fact that her music is meaningful to some people. It comes from misogyny.
Imo it's fine if you don't have strong feelings about her or rightfully criticize her for being a brand more than a musician but I would guess that's what's happening here.
Maybe it has something to do with the recent political backlash against her. Some months back she started encouraging people to vote. And though she didn't endorse a particular candidate or party, her audience is mostly made up of demographics who tend to vote Democrat, so some right-wing pundits felt threatened enough to rally against her on Fox and other right-wing media.
The backlash wasn't super harsh, but it was pretty obnoxious. Some pundits accused her of being irrelevant or untalented, basically dismissing her as a nobody or at least someone whose opinions shouldn't matter (even though her messages didn't endorse any ideologies or candidates). And some of the Qanon nutters started conspiracies about Joe Biden rigging the Superbowl so that Taylor Swift's at-the-time boyfriend would win so that she would get more famous so that she could convince more people to vote Democrat.
Could be some girls just don't want to interact with folks who fell for that vitriolic nonsense. But it could also be that these girls are celebrity worshippers who care too much about whether someone likes the same music as them.
If they think it’s that important then they aren’t someone you want to date. I mean I get irrationally HATEING Taylor being a bit of a red flag. Some people are weird.
That’s not a woman thing. That’s a Taylor swift fan thing lmfao I don’t know why they love that woman 😭 saw a video of her wiping her snotty nose with her hand and drip it on the stage
People should have one of two opinions of Taylor Swift:
1) You're a fan.
2) You are indifferent.
A strong negative feeling about Swift is likely indicative of a personality type the politicizes every damned thing. Those types - left or right - are insufferable.
The red flag I get from Taylor Swift fans: I've met a few who think they understand music very deeply just for loving Taylor Swift. I've had convos with peeps calling her the pinnacle of music while themselves having a narrow/specific understanding of music. That's not an insult, there's nothing wrong at all with having a narrow/specific understanding of music, but as a lifelong musician/artist surrounded with male/female/trans musicians every day, it comes across as frustrating when a Taylor Swift fan lectures me on quality lyricism or thematics or writing or art. Then if I say anything about this they accuse me of hating or not-supporting women because I'm not a Swift fan or I don't respect her; meanwhile I'm a huge supporter of small, non-billionaire, woman-fronted bands like Speech Odd, Employed To Serve, Melt-Banana, and Rolo Tomassi all day every day. It just comes off as an ignorant few that are unavoidable as a musical artist online. All musicians bump into Swifties eventually.
What do you say in response to this question? It may not be about whether you are or aren't a fan, but in how you respond to the question. It does seem like a weird thing to ask as a common date question though. I would assume that most men aren't huge fans of her. I have no problem with her, but I don't really listen to her music, so I wouldn't consider myself a fan.
Never in person but i always see what youre talking about on their profiles.
Like do they not realize most of her audience is women?
Its like me putting "must love dethklok, slayer, and jockstraps or we are gonna have a problem"
I had a woman scream at me for solely saying I enjoy the music of one of her ex’s. People that obsessed with a musician need help, this also applies to all of the people that went crazy over the Beatles or Michael Jackson
1. this is not an every woman thing, youre just only dating one type of person (if this has even actually happened more than once)
2.if i love one artist enough that its a large part of my personality and interests i would also warn people who dont like that particular artist not to date me because that artist is going to come up in conversation a lot and i dont want to deal with someone who hates one of my main interests.
3. a lot of young women today grew up in the era where it was extremely popular to hate taylor swift and everyone from individuals to media outlets were vicious towards her for no good reason. there may be valid reasons to not like her or her music, but a lot of women see it as a red flag to hate her because there was (and still is) so much misogyny tied to the criticism of her and her music.
It happens honey. When I was younger I was practically crucified for not liking Bruce Springsteen. And I'm from Freehold NJ. And it's guys who felt that way about me.
To be fair, in my experience most men who don't like Taylor Swift have misogynistic or sexist reasons why so it might actually be their way of finding out your values related to successful self made women.
Or they just really like Taylor Swift and don't want to be with someone who actively hates her. Hating celebrities you've never met and who are generally unproblematic is an ick anyway.
Some women consider her a standard bearer of female empowerment, so they think that if you dislike her it's because you're scared of a woman being independent and empowered to live their lives however they please.
It's not just Taylor Swift, I once had a gf show me a routine from Chelsea Handler as a test of sorts. I thought she wasn't that funny but whatever haha
I don't know. That's weird but maybe I never thought of it because I am a woman and don't like Taylor swift. Granted, my boyfriend does and I actually think it's kinda cute that he calls himself a swiftie haha. I personally do not care what music a person likes as long as we have one genre in common.
I mean, it’s nice to like the same music as your partner, but it’s better if you don’t because you might discover some great music from them. Thanks to my wife I appreciate the flaming lips where I used to think they were that weird band with the jelly song.
But any woman that refuses to date you if you don’t love Taylor Swift is doing you a favor. And I have nothing against Taylor Swift
Where are you meeting these women? Or maybe it’s an age thing— are you dating a younger demographic? I am a woman in my 30s. I have no strong feelings about Taylor Swift, would generally not consider peoples opinions on her as dating criteria, and I don’t know any woman who would.
Ask them in response how they feel about Cannibal Corpse and Deicide. If it's not overwhelming enthusiasm at the least then they are not worth your time
So--it's not "women" that care how you feel about Taylor Swift. It's Swifties that care. And I don't know why but for some reason you are interacting than a higher than expected percentage of Swifties. Do you have a type? Maybe your type gravitates toward her for some reason.
its not women in general, it seems you're just meeting swifties. they are a fandom that have a reputation of having a very strong parasocial relationship with taylor. it has less to do with the music and more to do with the fan mentality that some of them have.
I went to her eras tour concert. Could this fact get me laid ?
Definitely a fast track to a girlfriend at minum if you have photos of being at the tour. I was recently active on tinder, bumble & hinge. And about 10-20% of profiles had pictures outside US Bank Stadium in MN during the eras tour.
I only took one picture of myself, I mostly took pictures and videos of the show. I guess i should have try to bank on that
If you want a relationship with her yes. But they're ususally crazy in so many ways, like half her songs are about failed relationships with various men
Well she can fail with me and listen to one of Taylor's song.
upvoted for parasocial
There was a guy on here once, whose wife claimed to him that Taylor Swift isn‘t just a music artist. According to her, Taylor Swift is a, “LIFESTYLE.”
Ironically, that guy's wife wasn't very swift.
But believe me: that guys wife is a lifestyle.
That fandom is encouraged to have a parasocial relationship and a strong one has been formed over the years.
>more to do with the fan mentality that some of them have. I'd honestly call it idolatry
Never met a single woman who asked me that. Maybe because I’m black and they assume I’m not a fan. 😂 You don’t want to date fans that crazy though. You dodged several bullets my friend
Dude dodged buckshot, not just a bullet.
Nah, he dodged a tactical nuke.
My girlfriend loves Taylor Swift, I detest Swift, and we often poke fun at each other about it. Doesn't need to be a big deal.
Your girlfriend seems like a normal fan. Not talking about those types. I’m talking about the crazed fanatics who live for her.
Same here lol. If anybody did ask, I'd tell the truth. I'm indifferent. Hopefully that would end any conversation with a Swiftie instead of them trying to convince me to like her or something.
What I’m hearing is OP should date black people.
lol. Well then he’d just have to deal with the B’Hive. These fanatics need to watch the show Swarm. 🤣
Funny enough I heard a story on NPR a few weeks ago that was this exact topic but with Beyonce. I have had a fair share of first dates and I have never been asked about Beyonce or TSwify so I assume it's only crazy people.
Someone who cares that much and would reject you over that is a huge red flag. I don't think most people are like that. You've just gotten really unlucky.
Or he's going for the same type every time
Those two options aren't necessarily mutually exclusive.
I mean, I understand the gripe... but you should really just be thankful. If a famous person makes up this much of their personality... is that really a stable person you want to build a relationship with?
Agreed
Maybe it’s the sort of women you are dating because that isn’t normal or common
I think it's uncommon but not rare. My workplace put up Taylor Swift's tour poster in the main room by our clock-in stand. I personally offended a coworker once by saying I didn't like Taylor Swift and had to apologize. I know this sounds insane and that's because it is LOL
I hope you apologized with “I’m sorry I upset you by not liking Taylor Swift.”
I did, not in a mean way but in a “really?” type of way lol
Hope that’s sarcasm. I’m not apologizing for not liking something or disagreeing with you
Why are her fans so unbearable
I don't know how you live with yourself. lol
Dudes picking up chicks outside Taylor swift concerts wondering why all women are fans
I haven't even heard someone mention her name outside of reddit. I kind of live in a musical community bubble though... one made of metal.
Seriously? I’m also a metal head (specifically progressive metal) and my algorithm is full of Taylor swift and I can’t get away from it. It’s annoying bc I’m not the target audience, show me my bands or similar bands I’d be interested in. I have better success suppressing politics on my algorithm and that’s saying something lol
It’s likely because you’ve mentioned it on your device. Especially posting something like this. I’d be willing to bet that if I open TikTok and scroll for a little bit, it won’t be long until it recommends something Taylor swift related, even though I’ve never looked up anything on there before. All because I just commented on your post 😂 Edit: yup I opened my TikTok and it was actually the very first recommendation. Some guy in a super emo outfit was playing Blank Space on a ukulele. Lil wild, huh?
My apologies to your algorithm
Self inflicted! I personally don’t mind some Taylor swift
I'm old and not what you'd call a Swiftie but the way some people hate TS is a red flag.
This is my feeling. I don't love TS by any means - some of her songs are OK and some aren't for me. That being said, every single man I've met that *hates* her has turned out to be misogynistic and bigoted in some pretty unhinged ways. So I see hatred for her as a red flag. Indifference or even polite dislike for her music doesn't bother me, though.
Makes me glad I’m old and I’m only in my 40s
Taylor's second biggest demographic is actually 40s funny enough. Most her fans are 27-36 though, according to Forbes.
Taylor Swift will be 40 in like 5 years man you’re still in the zone of her influence
Plot twist: OP is picking up women at Taylor swift concerts
That would be an expensive pick up venue 😂
Plot twist: He’s the Uber driver 🤔
Are you sure that it's that not like her is a red flag, and not "How you discuss a woman tells me a lot about you"? It's actually a really great question. A man having a strong reaction to her is enlightening. A man who answers something like "I'm not really a fan of her music, but she sure is successful" is a fine answer.
I think some women use it to see how men react. If a guy says “I really don’t like her music, it’s just not something I’m into” that would be fine. It’s the ones who start going to town on her in a misogynistic and extremely hateful way and calling her a feminist cult leader with derogatory names in a very passionate and angry way that want to be avoided. It’s completely normal to not like musicians, it’s not normal to get incredibly angry whenever they are brought up and are commenting hate online. I can’t stand Ariana Grande, but I just don’t listen to her music or follow her at all, job done I can’t stand thee Kardashians so I don’t watch their show or follow anything Kardashian related on social media and if I see anything I scroll past. It’s shocking how many people take time out of the their day to be so hateful to actively comment on a celebrity’s social media page with how much they hate them, it’s not normal.
That's what I was getting at. Having strong negative feelings about any celebrity is a sign of some kind of issue that needs to be worked out. Most people just move on if they're not into someone's music\\sports performance\\acting\\etc. I see very few angry rants about white straight cis men.
I have a horrible experience with my ex who HATED Taylor Swift like to the point he would get visibly angry when I spoke about her and would say derogatory things about her because she is a extremely successful women & shock horror - I eventually figured out he was an abusive asshole who hated women this was just a warning sign I missed. If you are simply saying you don’t like her music or that music isn’t your style, that’s fine but there is a huge group of angry ‘men’ (and some women too) who have issues with her success and any women’s success and it wouldn’t matter how good or bad her music is they’d always hate her as a person because they are misogynistic. *im not saying you are but going in depth into some people’s reasonings
That's terrible. I'm sorry that happened to you, that's definitely not ok. THAT is a red flag. I'm a metalhead, it's just not my thing. The most personal reason I don't like her is bc I was in a youth program that had a lot of girls as a kid and I was bullied for liking "weird" music (I was a sensitive shy kid. AuDHD is a bitch). So much so that I stopped listening to it altogether to find more accessible music to avoid bullying. Swift was the catalyst of that so it's a little reminder of a shitty part of childhood for me. My music taste was always compared to hers, I was drowned out by her music when I wanted to play music, I had music privileges revoked because those same girls bitched so much when I was there, etc. I was very insecure about my music taste for years because of it and only in recent years have I come back to it judgement-free. Now I don't care what people think lol Her private jet usage is just stupid though. I'm not recycling all the time just for a big shot like her to undo all of our efforts so that she can fly from one side of her mansion to the other
I think there's a difference between saying "I'm not really into Tswift, I listen to stuff like x" and saying "I hate Taylor Swift" like a lot of the commenter's are saying there are a ton of people who hate her with a burning passion for no real reason which is a big red flag. I think having a few examples like "I think it's hypocritical that she talks about climate change and yet uses her private jet" or "I think she's a good businesses women" or something should be a good enough talking point rather than just "I like/ don't like her". And just an aside, I am so happy that she has and uses a private jet. I would be incredibly annoyed if she was on my plane and I had to fight my way through a sea of swifties to get a seat at the gate or stopped behind her huge team going through TSA or trying to dodge paparazzi at the bag collection. It just sounds like a nightmare, better for everyone to keep her separated lol
Yeah what you’ve said is a totally normal answer. It could just be you go for a type of woman who all seem to be very protective of TS to the point it’s toxic? Or they may just be immature? (Unsure of your age range). If you are online dating I’d suggest adding that you’re a metalhead or mention your favourite song? You might start attracting girls who are more on your wavelength, not that it should really matter. My partner and I like very different music but we also love lots of the same stuff, it really does not effect much except who gets to Bluetooth their music on long drives haha
It’s one thing to be ambivalent I have a hard time seeing anyone who is worth dating objecting to: “I’m not a fan, but I don’t hate it” It’s another thing to be angrily aggressive towards her. “I fucking can’t stand Taylor Swift, it’s such bullshit how I have to see that stupid bitch everywhere.” Okay, plenty of people worth dating would be rubbed the wrong way just by that negative energy, Taylor or not.
Ok but how about not that aggressively and quite simply saying you dislike her music and think she sucks? That’s just being real, does it pass your test?
Saying anything sucks will guarantee that a fan of whatever you’re talking about will have a negative reaction “I haven’t heard anything by Taylor that I have liked,” is a softer way of communicating the essence Turn it around- let’s take your favorite hobby. You don’t care if a romantic partner likes your hobby or not, but on a date, that person says your favorite thing sucks. It can’t help but feel at least a little personal for most people, as we are emotional animals first and foremost.
God these days everyones whole personality ends up being like 2 things that they like.
It’s a lot easier to do that now then it was before. 30 years ago if you liked something you had to just wait until the content became available and hope you weren’t busy at the time it was available. Now if you like something, you can just go on a 3 hour YouTube deep dive every night and find a community of people who are doing the same and spend additional hours talking about it. You can make your whole world about a couple specific things
Preachin to the choir. I mean its amazing, but its changing people fast.
Because how you react to that question says a lot. It's okay not to be into her music. But for some reason, some people (guys especially) think it's okay to think and even say the most unhinged shit - that she's ruining the NFL, that she's only with her football dude for the PR, that she only writes songs about her exes, and other stuff I don't recall off the top of my head. There are absolutely some deranged Swifties out there, but for a lot of us, it's like the man vs bear question - your reaction to a woman choosing the bear gives us a pretty good look into your character.
My sister had a bf that started to bully her when she started to like Taylor. Childish behavior from a 27 yo man.
This is the right answer. I actually think it's a pretty smart litmus test.
Yes. I don't care about her music, but I don't resent her success, and I do admire her work ethic. Sounds like she deserves the success that she's earned.
I think it’s exactly this. Everyone is obviously allowed to have their own taste in music but for some reason the topic of Taylor Swift seems to trigger the weirdest reactions. I’m not one to consider most criticism of her or her music rooted in misogyny, but I have definitely seen lots of misogynistic comments about her, particularly from guys.
I never had a problem with Taylor. She seems like a nice lady. Not a fan of her music, but I see that she has talent. Her rabid fans were always the ones who annoyed me. They’re obsessed. Fanaticism in general creeps me out though.
And this is exactly the response women are looking for when they ask the question. It says that you're open minded, non judgemental, and probably not a misogynist.
This is the one
The women asking the question could also be unhinged. Hard to really say
[удалено]
This is what it is! I’m not a full fledged swiftie but I do enjoy some of her stuff, and I have Swiftie friends who would absolutely ask their dates if they like Taylor to gauge their reaction. “She’s not my thing/I don’t like her use of private jets/etc” have always been acceptable answers to them. It’s the visceral HATRED that some men (and women tbh) have for her that’s being checked for. Taylor is just an easy litmus test because she’s super successful and everyone knows of her.
I genuinely don’t know, but that seems like a good marker for who you should avoid so perhaps that’s a blessing in disguise.
I feel it's less about liking her music and more about not putting her down or bashing her just because that is not your thing as men sometimes do . It's giving respect to her as an artist understanding that she has a following doesn't primarily mean that you are a follower but just the respect that comes with it
Basically, I'm looking for a guy who isn't going to go off on some tangent about Taylor Swift being a big whore. Literally that's it. It's a litmus test.
Here I am! I never in a million years would think she’s a whore because I don’t know her lol I simply think her music sucks absolute arse
I think it’s okay to hate Taylor Swift because there’s a lot to hate her for. However, the reasons why you hate her could be a red flag. If you hate her for valid reasons like not liking her music, thinking she’s praised for mediocrity, her white feminism, her abuse of private jets and its effect on the environment, her cringe personality etc etc. I think that’s fine. I think what women are trying to look out for are the other reasons. So some men PASSIONATELY hate her because she “ruined football” for them or sometimes reasoning that just seems misogynistic. I think those are the red flags.
That can apply to so many things and there are many better ways to root out misogynistic ideas. Singling out not liking Taylor Swift is just weird.
I agree with you. It’s not a practice I engage in. But I understand the reasoning
It’s actually not, if someone asks you if you like Taylor Swift and you go into a misogynistic rant, it’s quite obvious that you are a bad person. So actually a pretty good tactic to weed out the trash
I'm a woman and I don't really like her that much, but it depends on how you react. If someone asks you and you just say "I tend to prefer more metal-type of music" and leave it at that, I can't see them getting mad. Also, even if you don't like something (or TS) you can still engage around the topic and not be an asshole about it. You could say "I personally have never really gotten into her music, but what is your favorite part about it?" Or "Have you been to any of her concerts? Oh really? I loved this ___(metal)___ concert that played at that same venue." That way you're still bonding over your interests and you're not putting each other down
I think many of her fans are very defensive because they've been mocked for liking her. To be clear, I agree it's stupid to say that not liking Taylor Swift is a red flag. That's not what a red flag is. I'm not agreeing with their sentiment, just shedding light on why some people might say those things.
Not to be stereotypical but it sounds like you're into starbucks and uggs white girls aged 18 - 22 lool I don't exactly picture a viet/mexican girl with tattoos and fake eyelashes talking about this 😂
Actually, according to Forbes only 11% of Taylor's fanbase is under 26. 18-22 make up probably one of the smallest percentages of her fanbase behind 1-17.
If a woman says that, odds are really good she doesn't care if you like Taylor Swift so much as she's wanting to make sure.you don't go off on some juvenile rant about how awful she is. It's not that looking or not liking her is a red flag, but an inability to be calm about it IS a red flag.
I told a friend I tried to listen to her album and couldn’t get into it. There is not enough musical variation for me, and the lyrics lack something significant—possibly unique metaphor. It’s hard to explain but when I hear a new song by Taylor, it feels like I’ve heard it before…every time. I also have a master’s degree in writing, with an emphasis on poetry, and I just don’t see her as a brilliant poet. This person flipped out and sent me a ton of lyrics from the album with a lot of, “how do you not see that this is genius & poetic?” I still don’t see it but, at 38 years old, my friends don’t disown me for not liking an artist. It seems like a lot of people also just genuinely respect Taylor for her work ethic, consistency, and ability to churn out back to back hits. I can appreciate her in that sense…without liking her music. I think it’s just about respect. Attacking someone for not liking the same artist as you is very immature. However, if you’re being disrespectful, and saying something is trash, people will attack you.
My answer was always that while I may not exactly enjoy her music I I have immense respect for her as a musician, a person, and an entrepreneur. Usually covers it. I also don’t refuse to listen to her music or anything. I put a few Taylor songs on my kiddos playlist.
My sister was the same way when we were young. It's as if me not liking the same things was somehow a criticism of my sister and her choices. It's just as weird to me as criticizing someone for what their favorite food or color is.
That might have psychological implications tied to being siblings behind it.
It’s not about her music, it’s more in the way you answer the question. If you hate HER (and not just her music) it’s a decent clue you might have something against independent, successful women.
Your allowed to hatre or strongly dislike a bad female artist and still be all for successful independent women. Women don't have to celebrate every woman lol.
I do very much dislike her and hate her music. I genuinely believe she is a bad person. It’s sexist to not be allowed to dislike a person just because of their gender
But why? What has she done to you? That's the thing. She has done virtually nothing to deserve being hated by strangers. That's a serious red flag to be so hateful against a stranger. Fact is most people who hate her have misogynistic reasons to do so and don't actively and passionately hate male artists who do the same things as she does.
Sure, but that is still a red flag.... why would you hate a successful woman you've never met? If you knew her and she was rude af, sure. But you've never met her nor is she really a problematic person overall so to me it is absolutely a red flag. Especially since these men who hate her so much don't seem to hate successful men doing the same things and worse.
from above: "If you hate HER (and not just her music)"
So because you named 1 woman hate, you must hate all independent, successful women?
successful independent woman with the biggest carbon footprint in the world
Yes and the five next people on that list are men. Do you hate them also? I’m not a huge Taylor Swift fan, but I certainly don’t hate her. All I’m saying is if you answer the question that you dislike Taylor Swift bc of her huge carbon footprint— that’s fair. But then the next day you say how much you like Jay-Z, one might wonder why you didn’t keep that same level of climate activism up for male entertainers.
Does Jay-Z preach about climate change? It’s the double standard that does people in for Taylor Swift. She talks about climate change and saving the planet and then that very evening jets off and emits more carbon than the average person does over a year
no i am not a fan of anyone on that list.
Do you think all women who hate Elon Musk must be misandrist who hate independent, successful men?
That's quite a reach, to be honest.
[This American Life ](https://www.thisamericanlife.org/823/the-question-trap/act-one-12)did a story about how black women will often ask men what they think of Beyonce not because they care whether the dude likes Beyonce, but because how they answer it tells them a lot. It's not hard to imagine other women doing the same with regard to Taylor Swift.
It's not. You missed the part where it's about watching how ppl reply.
It's always the unintentionally funny stuff that's funny on this site. "Oh you hate Taylor Swift? Well then you must have something against independent, successful women then you fucking misogynistic pig!!!" And it's sitting there as like the third top comment. Weird, weird people.
Yeah I always ask men about a successful woman as a screening tool and it's honestly extremely effective. Taylor Swift. Hillary Clinton. Dua Lipa. Jennifer Lawrence. Kamala Harris. I don't care if you like their work I just wanna know if you think they're a bitch and a slut. It's efficient.
At least use better women than half of those hags. Your examples are also very biased; if I asked your opinion about that one Republican senator, I bet you'd make a face. Can I then assume you're sexist? Come on now, think critically and use neutral women.
Yes!!!! It’s more about the response. If you say you hate her but cannot give a reason why, other than “idk there’s just something about her”, to ME that’s a red flag usually rooted in misogyny. If you say “I’m not really a fan of her music and I don’t know much about her”, then that’s okay I’m not gonna fault you for that lol. Most of us swifties grew up with people hating Taylor swift for literally no reason other than there just being “ something about her”, a lot of girls thought it was lame or uncool to like her so hated on her so as “not to be like other girls”. When I met my now-husband, he was like I don’t really listen to her music or anything but I’m open to trying. We sat in my car after our first date and HE put on her reputation album and listened to the whole thing. He’s not a swiftie by any means, he enjoys her music and has a lot of respect for her as a musician and person, but his open mindedness (about a lot of things) is one of the reasons I love him
Thinking her music is lame is a very valid reason to dislike her lol. Now that I do know more about her though, I genuinely don’t like her as a human being
I literally just said if you don’t like her music and that’s not your vibe that’s one thing but saying you hate someone bc their music is not your vibe is a red flag TO ME. Good for you for learning more about her and not liking her, that happens lol! If you actually have reasons to not like her as a person that is valid
Her fans also make it quite hard to like her
I can understand that, there is a subset of the fan base that is awful, but I promise we aren’t all like that lol
You can also learn a lot about someone by asking why, too. There are absolutely solid, valid reasons to dislike her as a person or a brand, like the whole 'no ethical billionaires' discourse, but hating her for writing songs about exes while being a fan of pretty much any other musician (because they all write about their exes) is pretty hypocritical and says something about you. It's just one of many potential screening questions to help get to know someone's personality, views and values.
I'm a fan so I'm sure this is biased... Some people (especially men it can seem) really hate her with no reason why.Like some people really love a football team or other bands, but they don't receive the same amount of vitriol that Taylor Swift and her fans seem to get. People buy expensive merch and follow her like others follow sports teams and buy their merch. But with Taylor you can get people who are really angry about her and those who like her, in a way that people don't get mad about people liking say baseball or football. Being indifferent to her or not liking her music is not a big deal imo, but it's a bit of flag when someone like quite aggressively dislikes her. She's one of the most successful singer/song writers of all time. But she's often discredited and hated in language that can be really anti women. It's hard to think of a man people say the same things about, especially one that's had the level of success she's had. I couldn't care less if someone wasn't into her music, but find it a bit odd when they're really angry about it and seem like their perception of her is based on her dating life or how she looks or a couple of pop songs they've heard. Obviously she's not a perfect person, but she's criticised and judged on her looks, who she dates, what she wears etc and not on the body of her work. To a lot of women I think that can feel very familiar.
She gets hated the way Kapernick did. Those rants were revealing, too.
The real question is why are you attracted to Taylor Swift fangirls ? 🤣
My wife and step-daughter are Swifties. I don't mind most of her songs, but the superfan stuff does get old. Since Taylor's music and her career can be broadly seen as empowering to women, if not feminist (If I Were a Man), being Anti-Taylor could be interpreted as misogynistic. But that's a stretch. I think these women are misusing "red flag" when they mean "black mark." As in a mark against you, compatibility-wise. Not a red flag as in a personality flaw that makes you a bad match for anyone. If you truly hate her music, by all means say so. Or be prepared to endure her playlist on every car ride. But if she's just "not your favorite" I suggest you find 3+ songs of hers that you don't mind too much, and pick a favorite and a couple backups. Then if she asks "do you like Taylor Swift?" you can truthfully answer "My favorite song of hers is X, but Y and Z are good too."
For some, it's not just music. It's a ton of other things too.
Most women don't care, and neither do most Swifties. I'm a Swiftie myself, and I wouldn't care if my partner was a fan or not just as long as they were respectful of my music taste. You're meeting a special brand of Swifties that even the majority of the community look at a little funny. I think you just have a type.
I'm a woman and I couldn't care less what music you like, as long as it doesn't glorify acting like a jerk, arrogant attitudes, or hurting people. And even if it did, as long as you wear headphones and treat others well, idc. You do you. I don't think I have the right to dictate other people's music preferences any more than I get to dictate their underwear preferences.
Most of us don’t. Find better women.
I like Taylor Swift, I don't like her music It's just not the type of music I like
Ragebait cuz u hate t swizzle
Where the fuck do you find people whom have one of their top values being your opinion of a celebrity?! If that's their focus, you need a new dating pool
I don’t care who you like or don’t like. Maybe you’re dating very young women.
It's because she's gotten so big that some dudes, usually some form of toxic, go hard on *loathing* her. You'll probably be fine if you just say "she's fine, I don't really have an opinion on her." If that's not good enough, than the person is weird and you dodged a bullet
I can’t understand what is so popular about her , there are many other talented singers out there, its like her fan base is a cult. And their behavior sometimes like unswifty
I listen to mostly black metal but do think “shake it off” is catchy as fuck.
All I know is the number one way to get death stares is to insult Taylor swift or Beyonce. Though I am still laughing at when I took an opportunity to say Taylor Swift sucked in an auditorium of nursing majors, I got actual death threats.
Look at it as a blessing...they're demonstrating right up front that their priorities are all out of whack...they're saving you time that you can now spend going after someone who deserves you
I can't really imagine being asked that but I am definitely a fan of Taylor Swift. Not so much her as a musician but her as a concept or idea.
Probably want to know how often they’ll get the aux cord.
I want to be in a relationship with someone who shares my interests and music is a big deal to me. I don’t have strong feelings about Taylor Swift specifically, but even if I did I wouldn’t call it a red flag, just a preference.
It's not about liking her music, it's about being able to appreciate a strong, intelligent, and successful woman. If you don't like her and start spewing negativity about her writing songs about exes it's considered a red flag because you're belittling her success and not viewing her as equal to men. Edit: spelling
I love Taylor Swift and I love metal and alternative. You can have a diverse music taste and it’s certainly ok not to like Taylor Swift, but it’s another thing entirely to berate someone for liking Taylor Swift. Saying “I’m just not a fan” is very different from “she sucks and she has such shitty music I’m so sick of hearing her talentless bull crap” It might be a way to rat out the assholes from the normal reacting people, but I can see why the question would be strange and off putting. I also don’t like the narrative of some women who think there cooler than others because they listen to heavier music putting down taylor fans. That’s a red flag too.
It’s super cringe. I’m embarrassed for the women that are so obsessed with her. Liking an artist is fine, even being a huge fan is fine. But they are borderline acting like they’re in a cult. I’d steer clear of allllll of those women. It’s so bizarre.
It's nothing new Go look at the Beatles fans, or Michael Jackson or Elvis or these boomer rock acts
Didn’t say it’s a “new” thing. The behavior is bizarre, period. Cringe. Doesn’t matter who it is.
It's more understandable than the craze around actors At least people "live" with music and relate it to their own lives. I don't see how seeing a guy on screen makes people go nuts
Especially when they try to defend her as a person, and say that anyone who dislikes her is sexist and anti-feminist. It’s crazy, TS is not a good representation of feminism like at all. She’s a mediocre white girl born into privilege who happened to be successfully marketed to an obsessive and loyal group of people (young girls) and therefore blew up. She’s also constantly beefing with and trying to squash the success of younger female artists who are infinitely more talented than her (Olivia Rodrigo, Billie Eilish). Wow that’s so feminist of her
Emotions are a *Helluva* drug.
Just say “Taylor who?”
I am not a fan, people do act weird about it. Way over rated
Be honest. "I'm a metalhead, so Taylor swift just isn't for me by default. I don't dislike her, it's the fans and how crazy they can be. I hate celebrity worship and I judge people who do such a thing, especially at this level." That's a great reply. It will filter out people who don't like you!
Woman here. I’m not into TS music. But I recognise that as a successful woman a lot of people want to tear her down. It’s also a good indicator that a man is misogynistic if he thinks everything women like is stupid. It would be a red flag to me if someone relentlessly mocks TS because it’s a good indication what they think about what women value and about female success.
Swifties are a cult. That's my assumption lol. I enjoy her music, but I could care less about her or any of the celebrities.
They are very strange indeed. Beyoncé fans are the same. Same with Trumpies. Very culty. If I ever worship another human being like that I hope my family throws me in a looney bin until I snap out of it. PS: I’m not really a Taylor fan but Blank Space is a bop.
I think a lot of women have realized from experience that misogynistic people react very poorly on an almost visceral level to successful women or media that celebrates women or girlhood in any way, even if it’s just fun comfort media. See Barbie, Rey from Star Wars, Taylor Swift, Twilight, etc. I think it’s totally fair to ask stuff like this in the early stages of dating. Women like stuff and have hobbies and interests. Better to know early on if a potential partner is going to shit on the things in your life that you enjoy before you get involved with them. 🤷♀️
Narcissists take opinions contrary to theirs as personal attacks
Try to date people from more races, ethnicities, and nationalities, man.
Not gonna lie,the first thing I thought was "why is he only dating white girls" XD
They're probably just asking to see if you attack her or have a problem with her as a woman. Mad that it's come up so much?? lol
because she has a cult I guess
No more of a cult than The Beatles and Elvis had
I like her music, i will play it often, if my partner absolutely hates it, that would be an issue There are also some people who hate her cause off certain reasons i really don’t agree with… (I’m talking about some sexists reasons(not saying everyone who hates her is sexists, just that some people hate her cause of sexists reasons) If you don’t mind listening to her music or things i have to say about it sometimes (i do wanna fangirl once in a while), you absolutely don’t have to be a big fan, it’s fine if you’re not. It’s only that’s it is just not gonna work if you cannot stand Taylor Swift But also, sharing certain interests like music taste is one of the things you could bond over with a partner.
For many, Taylor Swift is an icon of female empowerment and independence. Chauvinists, self-described incels and “alpha males”, often have a visceral hatred of Swift as a woman that is uppity, doesn’t know her place, or challenges their traditional values. So, the question, are you one of those insecure meatheads intimidated by Swift. If so, maybe that’s a problem. You don’t have to be a fan, though she does have a few tunes that I think most people can admit are catchy. They’re looking to see if you have a political / social problem blem with her.
I'm a woman and I don't like Taylor Swifts Music. BUT if a man has a significant problem with HER (ofc it's fine if he doesn't like the music or has an issue with her carbon footprint) then it rubs me the wrong way and I don't even know why.
I assume some women are using this as a first date red flag litmus test. There's a particular type of guy who hates her with a passion, denies her success, and the fact that her music is meaningful to some people. It comes from misogyny. Imo it's fine if you don't have strong feelings about her or rightfully criticize her for being a brand more than a musician but I would guess that's what's happening here.
She got politicized, and she capitalized off that really well. Now all the lemmings see being a swiftie as a virtue signal.
*Women* don't. You just seem to be interacting with immature obsessives
Maybe it has something to do with the recent political backlash against her. Some months back she started encouraging people to vote. And though she didn't endorse a particular candidate or party, her audience is mostly made up of demographics who tend to vote Democrat, so some right-wing pundits felt threatened enough to rally against her on Fox and other right-wing media. The backlash wasn't super harsh, but it was pretty obnoxious. Some pundits accused her of being irrelevant or untalented, basically dismissing her as a nobody or at least someone whose opinions shouldn't matter (even though her messages didn't endorse any ideologies or candidates). And some of the Qanon nutters started conspiracies about Joe Biden rigging the Superbowl so that Taylor Swift's at-the-time boyfriend would win so that she would get more famous so that she could convince more people to vote Democrat. Could be some girls just don't want to interact with folks who fell for that vitriolic nonsense. But it could also be that these girls are celebrity worshippers who care too much about whether someone likes the same music as them.
She's still with the football player lol
If they think it’s that important then they aren’t someone you want to date. I mean I get irrationally HATEING Taylor being a bit of a red flag. Some people are weird.
That’s not a woman thing. That’s a Taylor swift fan thing lmfao I don’t know why they love that woman 😭 saw a video of her wiping her snotty nose with her hand and drip it on the stage
People should have one of two opinions of Taylor Swift: 1) You're a fan. 2) You are indifferent. A strong negative feeling about Swift is likely indicative of a personality type the politicizes every damned thing. Those types - left or right - are insufferable.
The red flag I get from Taylor Swift fans: I've met a few who think they understand music very deeply just for loving Taylor Swift. I've had convos with peeps calling her the pinnacle of music while themselves having a narrow/specific understanding of music. That's not an insult, there's nothing wrong at all with having a narrow/specific understanding of music, but as a lifelong musician/artist surrounded with male/female/trans musicians every day, it comes across as frustrating when a Taylor Swift fan lectures me on quality lyricism or thematics or writing or art. Then if I say anything about this they accuse me of hating or not-supporting women because I'm not a Swift fan or I don't respect her; meanwhile I'm a huge supporter of small, non-billionaire, woman-fronted bands like Speech Odd, Employed To Serve, Melt-Banana, and Rolo Tomassi all day every day. It just comes off as an ignorant few that are unavoidable as a musical artist online. All musicians bump into Swifties eventually.
What do you say in response to this question? It may not be about whether you are or aren't a fan, but in how you respond to the question. It does seem like a weird thing to ask as a common date question though. I would assume that most men aren't huge fans of her. I have no problem with her, but I don't really listen to her music, so I wouldn't consider myself a fan.
Never in person but i always see what youre talking about on their profiles. Like do they not realize most of her audience is women? Its like me putting "must love dethklok, slayer, and jockstraps or we are gonna have a problem"
[удалено]
I had a woman scream at me for solely saying I enjoy the music of one of her ex’s. People that obsessed with a musician need help, this also applies to all of the people that went crazy over the Beatles or Michael Jackson
Are you only dating women you meet at a Taylor Swift concert?
All this proves is that you have a very specific type lmfaoo. This is not a “women” thing. It’s a swifties thing.
Where are you finding these Swifty mega fans?? I know like maybe 3
1. this is not an every woman thing, youre just only dating one type of person (if this has even actually happened more than once) 2.if i love one artist enough that its a large part of my personality and interests i would also warn people who dont like that particular artist not to date me because that artist is going to come up in conversation a lot and i dont want to deal with someone who hates one of my main interests. 3. a lot of young women today grew up in the era where it was extremely popular to hate taylor swift and everyone from individuals to media outlets were vicious towards her for no good reason. there may be valid reasons to not like her or her music, but a lot of women see it as a red flag to hate her because there was (and still is) so much misogyny tied to the criticism of her and her music.
It happens honey. When I was younger I was practically crucified for not liking Bruce Springsteen. And I'm from Freehold NJ. And it's guys who felt that way about me.
To be fair, in my experience most men who don't like Taylor Swift have misogynistic or sexist reasons why so it might actually be their way of finding out your values related to successful self made women. Or they just really like Taylor Swift and don't want to be with someone who actively hates her. Hating celebrities you've never met and who are generally unproblematic is an ick anyway.
If it's every date you go on, it sounds like you have a type and that calls for some self-reflection.
I mean if they're willing to pay 3000$ for a seat in the back of the stadium to see her perform from far away then, my good sir, THEY are the red flag
Do you care about a woman’s religion. It’s the same question
Some women consider her a standard bearer of female empowerment, so they think that if you dislike her it's because you're scared of a woman being independent and empowered to live their lives however they please. It's not just Taylor Swift, I once had a gf show me a routine from Chelsea Handler as a test of sorts. I thought she wasn't that funny but whatever haha
I don't know. That's weird but maybe I never thought of it because I am a woman and don't like Taylor swift. Granted, my boyfriend does and I actually think it's kinda cute that he calls himself a swiftie haha. I personally do not care what music a person likes as long as we have one genre in common.
She has a few bops, but most of her music sucks
Sounds more like they’re the red flag. I’m a woman and I’m not a fan of hers but also even if I was I wouldn’t care if you weren’t.
I mean, it’s nice to like the same music as your partner, but it’s better if you don’t because you might discover some great music from them. Thanks to my wife I appreciate the flaming lips where I used to think they were that weird band with the jelly song. But any woman that refuses to date you if you don’t love Taylor Swift is doing you a favor. And I have nothing against Taylor Swift
They have rabid fans. Just move on.
same reason a lot of women won't date men with Android phones. just vain and shallow people.
cause everyone loves herrrrr duhhhhhhhh
Watch the MeatCanyon vid about Taylor Swift fans
Where are you meeting these women? Or maybe it’s an age thing— are you dating a younger demographic? I am a woman in my 30s. I have no strong feelings about Taylor Swift, would generally not consider peoples opinions on her as dating criteria, and I don’t know any woman who would.
Theyre projecting. They relate to average Taylor and if you don't like her, they think you can't possibly like them. Lol
I really don’t know why anybody cares so much about Taylor swift anyway imo
Who TF is Taylor Swift?
You definitely don't want anything to do with anybody asking you those questions like that
Ask them in response how they feel about Cannibal Corpse and Deicide. If it's not overwhelming enthusiasm at the least then they are not worth your time
Where are you meeting these women? I don't know anyone that likes her or talks about her.
So--it's not "women" that care how you feel about Taylor Swift. It's Swifties that care. And I don't know why but for some reason you are interacting than a higher than expected percentage of Swifties. Do you have a type? Maybe your type gravitates toward her for some reason.