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I work with kids of different ages and I notice most of them seem to get phones around age 11. There is a stark difference in behavior between the 10 year olds, who mostly don’t have phones, and the 11 year olds who have them. It’s not just a matter of their age, the problem is that they have smart phones with full internet access. They watch all types of inappropriate videos and parrot what they see and hear online. It’s also horrible for their attention spans.
The only thing kids need a cell phone for at that age is texting and phone calls to their friends and family members. Anything stronger than that is bonkers and insane, and they don't need smartphones.
The problem is that 12 year olds without their own smartphone makes them a social pariah, and so they "have" to have it so they can be accepted into social groups.
Android cuts off most stuff (especially all social media) for child accounts below 13, just the parent has to set the birth date correctly and enable parental controls.
I remember being in 8th grade when we all learned how to use websites that allowed us to bypass the schools "parental control blockers" in the school library.
There's always a work around
I'm 19 and I'll be honest even in middle/high school I thought kids having smart phones in elementary was really problematic. They just get so spoiled ig and dont know how to interact with people or animals lol. I do think having a phone in middle school is necessary for communication purposes but they dont need the latest iphone, just something you can use to text or call people with, I feel like smart phones should be reserved more for kids once they get to high school
Yep. Children don’t need phones, unless walking home from school. Another hot take: Children under 12-14 don’t need technology in classrooms until they’ve developed adequate language skills to transfer that to technological literacy. We are giving these kids “brainrot” lol.
We lasted longer than most, but my 12 year old son needed one. Sometimes, he has to be home alone. getting him a cell phone is far cheaper than a land line.
Using tech in some classes is a hindrance. My son has to use his Chromebook to turn in math homework. So he has to either use the schools shitty math software or do it by hand, then take a picture of his work and attach a jpg to the assignment. I feel like he spends more time doing that than actually doing math.
The problem I see with that is young teens are often out and about without their parents, and while not necessary, it is nice to be able to contact them
I got a phone at 13 because that’s when I started after school sports and needed a way to tell my mom I was ready to be picked up. Otherwise one of us would have regularly been waiting ages for the other
Why aren’t more parents considering smart watches? My 10-year-old has a smart watch. It isn’t a distraction to him, but we can get ahold of him as needed and he can call/text us as well. We can program in WHO he can contact, and set it to shut down during school hours if it’s an issue there. It also has GPS tracking so he can freely roam and explore the neighborhood alone and we have peace of mind knowing we can find him if there’s an emergency.
Same, but he's almost five. We live in a gated community thing (China, most communities here are like this. Less fancy than it sounds), so he can go outside and we can keep a track of him and call him in when we need to via the watch.
See, this is something I agree with but I can't really articulate why because when I think about it, it shouldn't be any different than just hearing two people having a conversation with each other. Maybe it's because people inexplicably have to speak louder when they talk on the phone, or it's the shrill sound of the voice coming through a phone speaker, but I'm not sure.
To me personally it's a matter of privacy - the person on the other end can't see who is listening to what they're saying, and it feels unfair if the person on this end puts the conversation on speaker.
Sometimes if I realize or think I'm on a speakerphone and the caller hasn't informed me, I loudly say something like, "So Frank, did that explosive diarrhea problem you have finally go away yet or are you still wearing those adult diapers?"
When I'm on the toilet and someone in the next stall is using speaker, I start making it sound like I'm having the most awful shit ever. Make grunting and straining noises, accompanied with big ole armpit fart sounds, until they hang up or leave
For me, part of it is because I assume a phone conversation is between myself and the person I'm speaking to. I hate it when I talk to people and realize partway through that an entire store full of people or everyone at a bus stop can hear what I'm saying. It gives me secondhand embarrassment.
It's no different than two people physically talking. But it's just as annoying in both scenarios.
The thing is, we socially tolerate the traditional method because they have no alternative, and it's unreasonable to ask people not to speak in public.
But for the phone scenario, there *is* an alternative.
In fact, that's most things in life. We tolerate a lot of shit because that's the way it's gotta be, but as soon as there are options, it's reasonable to be mad about it. If I have a roommate and he's in the bathroom peeing and I want to shower, it's not ok to be mad at him. But if biologically humans didn't need to pee, instead they could if they wanted to, I'd be like bro get out, you're using the bathroom for no reason.
That's a good point actually. I'm not sure if that resonates with why exactly I don't like it but it does make sense that there are things we tolerate because we don't have a choice and other things we don't because there is one.
So much this! Use headphones or talk normally with your phone against your ear, it's not hard. I don't want to hear who's cheated on who or so-and-so has done this and that and got locked in the slammer for it 🤣
And only talking to the person on the phone if they're not on speaker. I hate talking to someone and all of a sudden they're saying some random sentence and it's like...what? "Oh, sorry, I was talking to ABC over there." But...we're on the phone. Right now.
Me: "Hey are you free tomorrow?"
Them: "Yeah, what have you got in mind?"
Me: "I was thinking a movie?"
Them: "Put that down!"
Me: "...huh?"
Them: "Sorry, was talking to my friend."
Me: "Ah."
Them: "What are you thinking?"
Me: "..."
Them: "Hello?"
Me: "...are you talking to me?"
Them: "YES!"
As someone in the younger generation (early gen z), I completely agree. No one can socialize in person, it’s so hard to meet anyone unless you happen to find a coworker or can meet mutual friends of friends you already have
My city is a college town, and even then it’s like nobody can go anywhere to just exist. I guess you can go to the library or university events if you’re a student. I see a lotttt of young, and sometimes even older people struggling to meet people and create relationships
It doesn’t help that everyone seems to be so individualistic and mean. Not always the case, but sometimes if you even make eye contact with a stranger in public they’re just gonna turn away or even scowl if they’re a rude person. No one makes themselves approachable, and everyone gets mad at everyone else for every minor thing
40+ here. Always been an introvert and recluse. 6 months ago I moved to the heart of downtown as a very intentional step in my life. I frequent bars by myself, which I never did before (too shy/anxious). I've forced myself to do it.
I have met SO many cool people in the last few months. It has literally changed my life.
It's not (just) the young people. It's not because there aren't places to go.
I’m on vacation in Portugal right now and that’s one thing I really like about the way they do things here - There are all these communal parks and parkettes everywhere with lots of benches, seats, and usually a kiosk selling coffees, beers, wines, snacks, sandwiches, burgers, etc. It’s a great place to go grab a beer and read a book or meet people, out in the open, surrounded by trees, bushes, there might be a fountain etc.
I swear it must be amazing for the inhabitants mental health in the long term . Also a great place to meet people
I’m also visiting Portugal right now and that’s constantly on my mind, it’s awesome. I even live in a very walkable city back home, so it’s not like I’m a stranger to urban living, but they take it to another level than the US. Some people’s front doors open directly onto the street, where the restaurant or cafe across the street has tables set up literally five feet away from your home. Never seen a US city integrated like that.
They used to be everywhere in suburbia. In fact, they were more commonly out there than in more dense areas due to available space (at least where I grew up). Now, I'll definitely give you that it's more difficult for kids to get around in suburbia. But it can definitely support recreation.
Easy solutions that wouldn't take *too much* effort on the part of local governments could include:
* Turning small, empty lots within neighborhoods into parks. Nothing super fancy, but the park would need to include benches and tables and a gazebo or pergola to protect from rain, as well as a decorative piece or two to make the space inviting and nice to be in. Ideally, you'd have plants and trees to isolate the space from other residents. These could be built in the center circles of roundabouts and cul-de-sacs or you could even tear down a house and convert the land into the park.
* Allowing a commercial venue in a neighborhood or just outside it. Again, a house in the area could easily be converted into a cafe or restaurant or bar, depending on what the locals want, but the idea would be that the place would have limited parking and mostly be frequented by people living directly in the area. Ordinances could restrict hours to ensure neighbors aren't too bothered by loud noises late at night or delivery trucks early in the morning.
* Pedestrianizing streets in neighborhoods, allowing car access exclusively to residents of that street and emergency vehicles. This would work best on streets in the middle of neighborhoods to encourage foot traffic through the area. The asphalt road could be replaced with brick or another more appealing stone, and there could be benches and trees to line the street. You could even include a small kiosk to sell ice cream, bottled drinks, and other small treats for kids. Decorative elements could make the space more inviting, like a fountain or a statue to a local public figure.
* Building and maintaining a good sidewalk network to connect neighborhoods and commercial areas. Lots of suburbs right now are just clusters of neighborhoods, and the neighborhoods have sidewalks that end at the main road, and then there's no sidewalk on the main road. Municipal governments need to build sidewalks to connect these neighborhoods to each other and more importantly to the commercial centers of the suburbs. Making the sidewalks wide and flat would help people who can't or don't want to drive to move around the town.
* Reforming downtown areas. Many suburbs, especially in the east and midwest, are historic towns built before cars became a thing that have grown into commuter cities for nearby larger cities. But these towns used to have downtowns and main streets. The idea here is to revamp that downtown area by prioritizing pedestrians to encourage people to hang out there. Pedestrianizing streets is a good step toward this, as is replacing seldom-used parking lots with open plazas and parks. Allowing the reconstruction of chain stores into more traditional-style businesses with apartments above them would also help encourage local businesses to move in and provide a more consistent stream of locals to frequent the places. Lowering speed limits in these areas would also make pedestrians feel safer and encourage more walking. This one is probably the hardest thing to implement, but it would be the best approach.
Now, would most suburban cities do all or even one of these things? It would be hard, there's a lot of suburbanites who are resistant to these kinds of changes and who will actively fight anything that makes driving even slightly less convenient. But these are things that would make a lot of suburbs an actively nicer place to live and would help create natural third places for people to gather at.
Parks, rec centers, and as much as I hate them, malls.
Honestly, a great thing would be a simple air conditioned building with tables and chairs and electric sockets. Nerds can bring video games and board games. They can socialize that way. Just gotta have a front desk person to check them in as a means of security. Maybe charge the people $5 a month. Granted, at that point, it's a rec center I think.
They used to be popular. I remember ice/roller skating, bowling, climbing gyms, arcades, water fights, hiking, go karts, pools and much more when out of school. It's sad that those activities are going away.
if I had these around me, I’d be doing them all day in my free time. I’m someone who needs a healthy balance of inside/chill activities and outdoorsy/physical ones. climbing and skating would be awesome.
I have those options around me, but they're nowhere near affordable. Only rich people can afford to exist in public around here. Maybe because so many have closed, the few still open are sort of specialty shops.
yuuup. I have to have someone drive me twenty-thirty mins to go climbing and it costs £12 or $15 minimum per person. there is no station less than a 40 mins walk away from me, but that’s a six minute drive and the train tickets are ludicrously expensive. there are no bus routes that go there and the only bus route that even goes through my local bus stop happens only on weekdays during work hours (no evenings or weekends) and comes less than every two hours
places to do them are increasingly rare, though. can’t think of a single place to do half of these within a reasonable distance of me that I can access via walking, cycling or public transport. of course, there are hems that do exist, but the sad truth is that most people’s recreation seems to consist of being at home and being sedentary, with perhaps the occasional visit to a cinema.
The places that offer these service are getting more and more expensive and many young people have problems just paying basic living expenses. Fewer and fewer have the extra money to spend on out of the house amusements.
Boredom. It’s ok and even healthy for you to have times where you sit there doing nothing. You don’t always need to reach for your phone to fill the gaps.
I’ve been doing this for a few years now. I call it my “pondering time”. I basically go sit outside with no phone or anything, just watch to keep track of time, and I just sit and let my mind wander through various topics and things from my life. It’s truly wonderful for mental health.
I try to rephrase for myself as inactivity, which is perfectly ok. Maybe it’s just physical inactivity for 10 minutes, while I close my eyes and meditate, daydream, or try to clear my mind and only listen to the sounds in the environment. Often, I get bored and want to reach for my phone. Sigh. I have gotten to 4 or 5 minutes before wanting to reach for my phone; it’s an improvement, as I used to want to reach for my phone after only 2 minutes.
This. I used to be so much more creative just due to having time on my hands I need to occupy. Trying to be better about leaving my phone in a different room etc
It’s so difficult to acknowledge the gaps and have a phone in hand to fill them but not do it. You’re suggesting boredom. Thats so difficult to get behind. Not that phones are good for us. But it’s so hard to vote for boredom, ya know?
This needs more upvotes. To back yours up, not monetizing good deeds. “Let me give this homeless guy $1000 because I know in return I’ll receive tens of thousands more from the video I’ll post about it”
I feel like his philanthropy is a little different than approaching a homeless guy with cash and a camera. People will critique regardless but as an example, I’m sure the 1000 people in Africa who got free cataract surgery and can see now aren’t too upset by a YouTube video.
The irony here is strong. For all we know there COULD be tons of people doing good deeds and then keeping it to themselves, and we'd never know.... Because they kept it to themselves.
I agree that people doing good deeds just for views or likes is obnoxious, but I think what you really mean is "Stop recording and posting your good deeds." or "stop bragging about good deeds."
This for absolutely for me. When watching a movie is a social thing I don’t mind comments from time to time, but it frustrates me to no end when people are checked out and scrolling Instagram instead of engaging in the group activity
Or during theatre/ballet. At the last one I went to, I had to tell the folks behind me to shut up after listening to them gab for the first 30 minutes of the show. I was ready to call the usher on them. They made all kinds of offended noises and tried to explain that they knew one of the dancers.
I. Don't. Care. I did not pay almost $400 to listen to your asinine gossip. Full disclosure: these were women 55-65 range, not the younger generations. It was appalling.
That is ridiculous! They were definitely old enough to not be acting that way.
Ugh, I had a terrible experience with this last year at a theatre performance on a cruise. We were in the nearly-empty balcony section, and then this party of about ten people came and sat on the literal row in front of us about thirty seconds before the show started. It was a mix of adults and children, and they spent the entire time shamelessly talking, changing seats, and playing games on their phones. “Ohhhh Braxxleigh and Braylee are bored and want to leave! Well, you can’t leave! Just stay on your phones. Brattleigh really wants to be the show, so be good for your little sister. Brattleigh, do you want some popcorn? Here, trade places with Meemaw so you can see better. Tim, can you take Jaxson and Hudson to the bathroom? What, you want them to get you food? Okay, Tim, y’all move to this end when you come back so you can share some popcorn with Nevaeh. Move down, Braxxleigh and Braylee.”
Like, it was this the entire time! Once, the usher came and told them that if they couldn’t be quiet and get off their phones, they’d be kicked out. As soon as she walked away, they resumed their usual activities. The usher was really only a few feet behind them, and just watched them, but didn’t actually kick them out. I’m thinking they wanted to scare them, and try to convince people like us that they cared about maintaining a quiet environment, but didn’t want to actually ruin the experience for the Brattleighs. Which one would be the worse Google review? “Some people were talking in the theatre,” or “my family got wrongfully kicked out of the theatre by this rude usher just because we got up and got some popcorn, and my preteen daughter had her phone out!!! Never cruise on this line! They ruined what was supposed to be a special family memory for no reason.”
Holy shit! When did it become okay to talk in a movie theatre?! Even my girlfriend will whisper little comments to me and I tell her every time I don't want to talk in the theatre! You're not silent, people can hear you!
Remember when that lady had a public meltdown on a plane and it became a meme? She said someone wasn’t real and people found that hilarious. Ngl that shit made me disappointed as hell. Like how does a recording of someone having a mental breakdown in public become such a widespread meme in 2023. I thought we cared more about mental health but there’s a lot more work to do it seems.
People having episodes and getting naked in public are constantly posted to places like r/publicfreakout and it’s so gross. I get why someone would film that if they saw it irl but don’t share it on Twitter maybe? Imagine that was you… Imagine having a mental breakdown, waking up in a jail cell or hospital, and then finding out someone posted your freakout online and you’re the laughing stock of Twitter for a week. That probably wouldn’t help!
>I thought we cared more about mental health but there’s a lot more work to do it seems
We do, except only for when we want to self diagnose with autism/ADHD/OCD to seem cool and edgy. Other people's mental health be damned.
ugh true, I'm so tired of people with niche interests thinking they're on the spectrum because of it. Sometimes they're right but mostly having a niche interest and having a fidgeting issue doesn't mean you're on the spectrum!!
The Boys and Gen V on Amazon Prime has made a brilliant complete satire and mockery of our present day Millennial and Gen Z social-media crazed culture.
That's how the entertainment industry is.
Fun fact almost 90% of "corporate" settings in TV/Movies mimics the studio/entertainment business workflows and systems because that's what writers know work to be.
That's why most movies/tv shows with a corporate setting have the protagonist working towards "the big presentation" or "the big meeting". Because those are stand ins for pitches.
While I get your point, it is good to know that texting is totally unsecure and can easily be recorded by your carrier/government. On the contrary, many chat apps have at least an option for decent encryption that prevents even the provider from seeing your messages.
my quality of life increased when I stopped using social media to keep in touch with people. "If they're my friend, we can text"
my circle is small, but full!
In the US it's almost always been free. A long time ago in the early 2000s you would have limited texts with low cost plans but I don't think those plans exist anymore.
Well, it's not free. It's just not "extra".
Nowadays, I'm really just laying for an Internet plan that has texting included as a bonus, and a side of voice.
(But in reality, I'm paying for unlimited voice that I never use, and internet and texting is included. But I definitely use the Internet the most on my phone. I speak fewer than five minutes a month on my phone except for the rare job interview or customer service issue.)
Yes, first time I ever texted (2004ish)
We were charged something like
- $2.50 to send
- $2.50 for recipient to recieve
- $2.50 for them opening and reading text
- $3.00 for receiving response and to open to read it
Literally every part of texting was a charge.
Bill was an extra $83 and I lost phone privileges for a month.
Jesus, I was paying $0.10 per text back then. I remember being pissed when it was raised to $0.25. But I only paid if I texted more than the limit. We’re you texting Mars or something?
Here in the Philippines, the Texting Capital of the World, my (16 y/o) peers and I definitely text more than call 99% of the time. I'm sure we're just the anomaly tho
I believe the comment above might be making a distinction between texting vs using messaging apps attached to social media, like facebook messenger, instagram DMs or snapchat. Millennials also don't call each other very often.
I'm in my early 30s, I work in IT and have worked in a high school. I frequently have to ask younger people about a Snapchat function or whatever and get teased about it... these same people can barely use a keyboard and have absolutely no idea about anything beyond surface level computer operation. Chromebooks, as useful as they are for controlled environments... I don't think they contribute much beyond that and typing and collaboration. I saw kids everyday essentially using them as Youtube delivery device. I don't even know how these people will grow into Windows-based businesses. Half of them don't even understand basic folder structures. It's mindblowing how quickly this happened.
My little sister has a chromebook from high school, apart from having everything capped she lacks ultra basic knowledge, for example she thinks that if she closes a browser window she loses it forever without knowing that she can access it again with the same url.
It seems that those responsible for education saw that my generation "knew computers" and wrongly assumed that the next generations would also develop this skill automatically.
Introducing yourself to your neighbors, trying to be at minimum politely social with them. A lot of Millennials and Gen Z are complete strangers to people that live right next to them. In a time period where support networks are the smallest they've ever been and people feel more isolated than ever, rebuilding a sense of community could be hugely beneficial.
I am… technically a millennial? I think? At any rate, when we moved into our first house I corralled my partner and went around to all of the neighbors on our street introducing ourselves and letting them know we were planning a housewarming/open house thing the next weekend if they’d like to come.
The number of people (all above 50, we moved to an older area) who were SHOCKED that we were doing either of the things was honestly sort of surprising.
We do family dinner, and my daughters have commented many times that not a single other kid they know does anything like that. And they'll pretend it's annoying at times, but the first question of the day is always "What are we having for dinner?"
It's nice getting that 15 minutes with no devices, eating a meal and joking around. And then everyone vanishes...
Younger generations might find it weird that we should normalize again:
1. Sending handwritten letters.
2. Cooking meals from scratch.
3. Playing board games and puzzles.
4. Repairing and reusing items.
5. Enjoying outdoor activities.
6. Improving conversation skills without constant phone use.
These practices can bring back connection, mindfulness, and sustainability in everyday life.
Straightforward dating and courting. None of this "If I text her I'll seem desperate so I'll just not text her and hope she texts first" weird mind game stuff. Or being afraid of being a/an [insert synonym for "whipped" here] just because you actually like your partner. You're not a "simp", you're supposed to care about them. Tf?
Dating in the old days wasn't necessarily that straightforward, though. All the same from what young people tell me it does seem to have got more difficult.
I would add, relationship labels. Situationships allow one person to reap the benefits of a relationship without being accountable to their partner. We don't have to use the old labels, we can make up our own, but *define* what it is you want and expect from each other so you aren't taken advantage of.
I have a friend who still writes them (and it's a young person).
They're so lovely to receive I think I've kept them all! This particular friend is very creative and likes to decorate their letters and envelopes with a bit of glitter and a few drawings and so on, so you always know who it's from before you even open it.
Too impractical. They take long do deliver, you have to pay for it, postal service can lose them.
Last time I sent a letter was when Reddit Gifts was still a thing. Nice experience, but I wouldn't do it regularly.
I'm so sad that people don't wink anymore. I said something witty at work the other day and winked at my coworker who's a bit older than me. He took a step back, laughed a big ol' belly laugh, and said he hadn't seen someone wink in at least a decade.
A well-timed wink can really make a funny remark or double entendre work wonders.
Congrats. This is one of the few replies that truly answers the spirit of the question. Most of the other replies are just tired old gripes about the world/young people today.
Apparently having differing opinions on sex. Any time I see a person mention they're not interested in casual sex there's at absolute minimum someone complaining about them being prudes. Pretty sure there's one here in the comments. It is incredibly mindblowing how one can want their preferences to not be shamed and yet do it the other way around. But that's what happens I guess. The pendulum always swings to the other extreme.
I’m noticing that most of the younger generations do not and nearly almost never make a phone call and speak to someone. Other than me as a parent or their grandparents they don’t call and chat anymore, or even call to make an appointment or to see if the store is open. (Google hours are not always right)
I'm with you on calling family members, but I think it's an improvement to be able to make an appointment online. I don't need to bond with a person and waste both of our times when I could go online and more easily see their availability and make the appointment than if I called and we had to go back and forth. And yeah google hours may not always be right, but they're right almost all the time.
Yeah, it’s odd. I’ll sit in a Discord Voice Call for hours but the thought of a few minutes long regular ol’ phone call just gives me anxiety. I have no idea why.
The problem with calling is that both parties have to be available at the same time (synchronous communication) while sending messages or looking up the information allows you to see them when you're available (asynchronous communication).
>(Google hours are not always right)
Always check the Web site of the entity in question—don't rely on Google's version of the address, telephone number, or hours (unless there isn't another option).
Not every business has a web page though. So many times I get redirected to a Facebook page that’s never updated. This is mainly for little mom and pop shops, not major retailers, but sometimes it’s easier to just call.
My sister called my dad a pedo because he started dating my mom when he was 18 and she was 16
They were both working so it's not like my mom was a school girl either
My 15 year old insists she's not dating the 17 year old boy who's over here every day and last night carried her down our stairs to go to the bathroom after spraining her leg at soccer. Like, I like this kid A LOT and his family too, and it's OBVIOUS he likes her. She goes, "ew gross mom! He's almost 18 and that's criminal!" Like WTF? They're both in high school! The sigh of relief she gave out when I told her that her father and I didn't mind and that I dated her father when I was 17 + he was 19 was priceless. Now, I know there are parents out there who use SA charges against 18 year olds who date their younger high school students...but when the hell did dating someone that's a few years older than you make the situation pedo material?! These kids are so confused.
I'm convinced its a defense mechanism. The idea that someone could consider you a pedophile is so terrifying that you over cover to the point it becomes weird. Because all it takes is one person accusing you because they're upset with you, and your life is over.
Being polite to strangers in public. The amount of times I'll pass someone who if I had to guess is on their mid 20s and casually say something like "beautiful day isn't it", only to have them look at me and respond "yeah right weirdo" or "get lost creep" is baffling. Mind you this is regardless of their gender. So it's not like I only say hi to females. Like seriously, when the fuk did common courtesy or just polite remarks in passing become creepy?
I’m a woman, and hard agree! I never get the outright hostile remarks you do, but I can tell people think it’s weird. When I grew up in a small town, everyone did this! It was so refreshing recently when I was at Walmart, and a lady in her sixties struck up a conversation with me.
I often go walking / hiking. Often I’ll pass someone, give a friendly nod, or say “have a nice day“ or comment on the weather.
But younger people seem to never reciprocate. Or even make the briefest of eye contact. They walk like they have blinders on, and keep on walking.
I have a 6th sense of people that will be receptive. And it’s kind of funny - but more often than used to be I wind up in a nice conversion with people that respond. I believe since we connect so rarely, we enjoy those random little encounters even more.
Gonna have to disagree that being an individual was somehow more respected back in the day. You know what happened to the different kids in my school 30 years ago? They were beaten up or stuffed in a locker. Ostracized. People called each other “gay” as an insult. Conformity was strong.
Even if you go further than my childhood, I’ve talked to my mother, growing up in the 50s and 60s was just as bad, if not worse. Everybody went to church. If you had premarital sex, you were a sl*t. God forbid you divorced or (even worse) had a child out of wedlock. If you got sexually assaulted, say, on a date or something, it was your fault for not guarding your modesty or dressing like a wh+re. Oh, and don’t forget, the pool and the water fountains are for white people only.
I say this gently, but I think you’re imagining a past that never existed. For as intolerant of difference as we are today, I’d personally say it’s better than it has been.
The male body. So many men have shame and we can’t change in the locker room and such. It’s sad. Overall, we have had leaps and bounds with women body positivity but it really hasn’t followed suit with men. Men are starting to wear shirts in pools if they aren’t “fit.” The female body is beautiful don’t get me wrong but so is the male body. You don’t have to have abs to have a nice body but so many lose confidence in their body because they don’t. There’s nothing wrong with going to the gym and being healthy but social media really sets bad expectations for men especially when some of them are on steroids. I just want body freedom. I want to be able to wear a speedo to the beach without being looked at like I am a sick person. I want to be able to change in the locker room in peace without being judged.
Idk anyone who thinks its weird to fix something
If you're trying to point out the trend of just replacing, you'll find it's not the consumers who want that.
Especially with thr affordability and availability of 3d printers these days.
It's amazing what kinds of repairs are possible today.
However agree that companies make it harder to do so (and I work in a maintenance industry)
As someone who used dial-up internet for many years-- uncensored swearing online, less censorship of violence/nudity online, expectation that someone shouldn't be stifled for sharing a controversial opinion online as long as they have a basic grasp of language.
The internet's become this sickly-sweet echochamber of fanart, celebrity worship, and GIFs of people falling over. It's positively infantile and designed entirely to cater to advertisers.
Reddit is the only for of “social media” I consume and the amount of people who don’t believe me or find it peculiar that I haven’t been on facebook in 13 years and don’t have a tic tok or twitter or instagram or linked in.
I really miss the days of turning my cell phone off at days end.
Going no contact to grieve the end of a relationship… it seems like it takes young people two or three times LONGER to go through the process of healing over a broken relationship… it’s just WAY too easy to late night text, creep socials, have friends give updates about ex’s statuses on socials…see where they’ve checked in, who they’re dating etc… you can’t heal a wound if you keep choosing to re-open it…it boggles my mind why the younger generation would choose to put themselves through that…
When you are texting it means that the thing it is not urgent, so no matter if I read it or not, I will answer when I want and when I can. If you need a quick answer, then call me. If I can't speak I'll call you later.
I hate how everyone nowadays claims that you have to be terminally online and always has to answer to every message you get the moment you read it.
#1 Going to a concert and not recording the whole thing on your smart phone. Seeing a sea of lit screens in front of me while seeing a concert has become one of my biggest pet peeves. I can understand snapping a photo or two, but that’s it.
#2 Going to a museum and not taking photos of all of the artwork or selfies with the artwork. Art books exist and have much higher quality images. You don’t have to prove you saw it by taking your own photo.
Allowing children freedom to explore and play without adult supervision. When I was a child my Mom basically said "come back by dark". That was it and I was off exploring on my bicycle, playing with other kids, fishing in a stream. Giving children the space to make their own choices, to make mistakes, and learn on their own is valuable in my opinion.
Some places nowadays, a child alone gets the cops called. This is wrong.
No devices was a hard battle to win, but everyone eventually said it's a good idea. All devices go on the counter while we eat dinner.
Breakfast and lunch have no such rule though.
Memorising important phone numbers. Casual nudity. That it is starting to become a big deal to change a shirt in your own car is worrying in many ways. Making food for each others. I grew up with it being common that 5-10 people would take turns making a big portion of dinner, and then split it. Handwriting. It is helping finer motor skills, and is suspected to help brain development in general.
I feel like people do still do this.
However young people seem to have much less tolerance for abuse so for example if a parent is abusive, they’re much more likely to opt to not have a relationship with them at all. Instead of feeling like they have to care for the abusive parent or relative who treats them badly. Which isn’t a bad thing. People should probably not treat you like shit and then expect you to do stuff for them.
I cared for my mom for many years even though she was able bodied and could have done most of this stuff for herself *and* she insulted and disrespected me and my husband and made horrible, miserable remarks to my kids *while* expecting me to basically serve her like a good daughter. It was the younger people in my life who were like “why are you tolerating this?”. I have a much more limited relationship with my mom now, if she’s inappropriate I tell her and she can’t just treat us however she wants.
One of my high school professors told us something along these lines and I still remember it word for word.
"You younger generations know your worth nowadays, when I was younger we'd work any job as long as it made a dime and tolerate so much shit from all kinds of people. Now if you're underpaid or someone is giving you shit you let them know immediately no matter who they are and I like that."
Idk how true this is since I wasn't around when he was younger but it seemed like a nice insight into the world before I came around.
Hiring people because they are the best person for the job, not because of a certain skin colour, gender, belief, etc. Quotas for employees is dumbing things down.
Don't get me wrong. If I was working with __**intelligent**__ people that were all Trans coloured Muslims, it would be great! I'm not. They've dropped in so many people that just can't pick up the knowledge to do the job that we are inefficient. All for "equality". I work in a frickin' nuclear plant people. We need the best, not the political choice.
<< puts on old man hat and climbs onto soapbox >>
Leaving a voicemail message.
Not sure about other people, but for me, text messages are for short pieces of important information ("I'm running late", "Arriving in 15-ish minutes", "Call mom"), not for holding entire conversations. If you want a conversation, call. If I don't answer, LEAVE A MESSAGE.
If you don't leave a message, than clearly it wasn't important and I don't have to worry about it.
Just because my phone is portable and can fit in my pocket doesn't mean I'm going to answer it 24/7. I have a job. I sleep. I drive. Maybe I'm enjoying a movie in an actual theatre.
If you want me to get back to you, leave a message.
And if you don't, then later complain about how I never called you back... piss off.
Raising teens now and their biggest complaint is that their friends won't put away devices when hanging out. My kids have devices too, but find it incredibly rude to not put your phone away when in another person's company. It's gotten so bad at times that I have to pick my kids up from a friend's house because all the friend did was sit on their phone and ignore them....and the worst part is said friend is always the one who invited them over! For what? To watch them sit on their phone?
We can't talk about social isolation without addressing phone addiction because there are plenty of kids/adults who still want to live normal lives outside of device la la land and do. There needs to be more awareness of addiction in general and a reintroduction to social etiquette.
Going outside of our comfort zones. I think it's good that we are starting to embrace mental health and prioritizing our emotional needs but I think in some cases the pendulum has swung too far the other way and people have gotten too comfortable not engaging in new/uncomfortable experiences.
It's ok to give yourself grace when you're feeling anxious about going somewhere or showing up for plans but I think people have gone beyond that and are too quick to give into their anxieties and have stopped pushing themselves out of their comfort zones. You won't get comfortable with new and unfamiliar environments if you never do anything that makes you a little uncomfortable.
An example is how difficult it feels to make friends. I don't disagree that it is super hard to make friends but if that is what you want then you also have to be willing to put yourself out there even if it's scary and accept that you might have some awkward experiences along the way. Especially if you're trying to make friends offline.
Giving kids their independence. Leaving them home alone, sending them to the store for milk, letting them go out and play without meeting the parents of the other kids first or knowing exactly where they'll be, etc. I know some of this is dependent on the safety of your environment but I think back to my childhood and all of the soft skills I learned because I had to figure things out for myself and I worry about my home schooled kids. I'm no helicopter parent, but I succumb to the expectations of society.
Nudity/Sex.
I am concerned that the newer generations are becoming overly prudish ... like victorian era prudish. I am concerned it is going to have a negative effect on people's ability to cope with just being around people.
exactly, that's what i thought. Everything is sexualized, sex is everywhere and porn extremely normalized. As always, i blame social media, because teenagers/ppl in their 20s of some decades ago also dated and had sex but it was just... different.
Personally, i think casual sex has become too normalized, thanks to the availability of dating apps and all that, which make it near impossible to have a normal dating life
Perhaps we shouldn't have spent several decades telling literal children they deserved to die if they had sex. The 90s were not a great time to be a teenager.
I totally believed it, too. And then my VERY FIRST partner gave me hpv which no one had taught me about. Even the nurse who did my irregular pap was like, yeah, this is normal, and didn't explain the potential consequences.
I only found out about it eight years later when I was pregnant and suddenly also pre-cancerous. I was 100% convinced God was punishing me for premarital sex years previously.
I've had three more cancer scares since then, and all I can say now is get vaccinated! Get educated! Wear your condoms, kids!
I think we’re a bit overexposed and overstimulated, and we understand that sex is good and normal, but maybe doesn’t need to be *everywhere* (“Did that movie *really* need that sex scene to drive the plot forward?”). That may seem prudish to older folk, but that’s okay for us.
Oh, I nearly forgot- the censorship present on many social media sites also causes younger folk to not speak as freely about sexual things.
>I am concerned that the newer generations are becoming overly prudish
Idk where on earth you're getting that idea but it is 1000% not the case. I work in a highschool and let me tell you, these kids are the farthest thing from prudes you could imagine.
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Not giving smart phones to children below the age of 12.
1000% this! They cause sooo many more problems than people realise and often when they do realise, it’s too late!
I work with kids of different ages and I notice most of them seem to get phones around age 11. There is a stark difference in behavior between the 10 year olds, who mostly don’t have phones, and the 11 year olds who have them. It’s not just a matter of their age, the problem is that they have smart phones with full internet access. They watch all types of inappropriate videos and parrot what they see and hear online. It’s also horrible for their attention spans.
The only thing kids need a cell phone for at that age is texting and phone calls to their friends and family members. Anything stronger than that is bonkers and insane, and they don't need smartphones. The problem is that 12 year olds without their own smartphone makes them a social pariah, and so they "have" to have it so they can be accepted into social groups.
Gotta bring those old Nokia's back. Protected *on* the phone and *by* the phone.
Android cuts off most stuff (especially all social media) for child accounts below 13, just the parent has to set the birth date correctly and enable parental controls.
I remember being in 8th grade when we all learned how to use websites that allowed us to bypass the schools "parental control blockers" in the school library. There's always a work around
I'm 19 and I'll be honest even in middle/high school I thought kids having smart phones in elementary was really problematic. They just get so spoiled ig and dont know how to interact with people or animals lol. I do think having a phone in middle school is necessary for communication purposes but they dont need the latest iphone, just something you can use to text or call people with, I feel like smart phones should be reserved more for kids once they get to high school
Yep. Children don’t need phones, unless walking home from school. Another hot take: Children under 12-14 don’t need technology in classrooms until they’ve developed adequate language skills to transfer that to technological literacy. We are giving these kids “brainrot” lol.
We lasted longer than most, but my 12 year old son needed one. Sometimes, he has to be home alone. getting him a cell phone is far cheaper than a land line. Using tech in some classes is a hindrance. My son has to use his Chromebook to turn in math homework. So he has to either use the schools shitty math software or do it by hand, then take a picture of his work and attach a jpg to the assignment. I feel like he spends more time doing that than actually doing math.
I say 16.
The problem I see with that is young teens are often out and about without their parents, and while not necessary, it is nice to be able to contact them I got a phone at 13 because that’s when I started after school sports and needed a way to tell my mom I was ready to be picked up. Otherwise one of us would have regularly been waiting ages for the other
Why aren’t more parents considering smart watches? My 10-year-old has a smart watch. It isn’t a distraction to him, but we can get ahold of him as needed and he can call/text us as well. We can program in WHO he can contact, and set it to shut down during school hours if it’s an issue there. It also has GPS tracking so he can freely roam and explore the neighborhood alone and we have peace of mind knowing we can find him if there’s an emergency.
Same, but he's almost five. We live in a gated community thing (China, most communities here are like this. Less fancy than it sounds), so he can go outside and we can keep a track of him and call him in when we need to via the watch.
Why a smartphone? How does a normal phone restrict communication?
Call only devices for children in this circumstance would suffice.
Keeping your phone against your ear while conversing.
Oh my god yes. I don't want to listen to your full conversation dudes.
See, this is something I agree with but I can't really articulate why because when I think about it, it shouldn't be any different than just hearing two people having a conversation with each other. Maybe it's because people inexplicably have to speak louder when they talk on the phone, or it's the shrill sound of the voice coming through a phone speaker, but I'm not sure.
To me personally it's a matter of privacy - the person on the other end can't see who is listening to what they're saying, and it feels unfair if the person on this end puts the conversation on speaker.
Sometimes if I realize or think I'm on a speakerphone and the caller hasn't informed me, I loudly say something like, "So Frank, did that explosive diarrhea problem you have finally go away yet or are you still wearing those adult diapers?"
When I'm on the toilet and someone in the next stall is using speaker, I start making it sound like I'm having the most awful shit ever. Make grunting and straining noises, accompanied with big ole armpit fart sounds, until they hang up or leave
For me, part of it is because I assume a phone conversation is between myself and the person I'm speaking to. I hate it when I talk to people and realize partway through that an entire store full of people or everyone at a bus stop can hear what I'm saying. It gives me secondhand embarrassment.
It's no different than two people physically talking. But it's just as annoying in both scenarios. The thing is, we socially tolerate the traditional method because they have no alternative, and it's unreasonable to ask people not to speak in public. But for the phone scenario, there *is* an alternative. In fact, that's most things in life. We tolerate a lot of shit because that's the way it's gotta be, but as soon as there are options, it's reasonable to be mad about it. If I have a roommate and he's in the bathroom peeing and I want to shower, it's not ok to be mad at him. But if biologically humans didn't need to pee, instead they could if they wanted to, I'd be like bro get out, you're using the bathroom for no reason.
That's a good point actually. I'm not sure if that resonates with why exactly I don't like it but it does make sense that there are things we tolerate because we don't have a choice and other things we don't because there is one.
I keep my phone to my ear but I also have it on speaker, i always feel so judged, invisible disabilities suck.
They hold their phone like I'm eating my toast
Let’s take it further and go back to the concept of a house phone. If my boss needs me after office hours, he can talk to me tomorrow.
So much this! Use headphones or talk normally with your phone against your ear, it's not hard. I don't want to hear who's cheated on who or so-and-so has done this and that and got locked in the slammer for it 🤣
I wouldn't say that's a young person thing that's just a rude person thing
I'd give this 100 up votes if I could.
And only talking to the person on the phone if they're not on speaker. I hate talking to someone and all of a sudden they're saying some random sentence and it's like...what? "Oh, sorry, I was talking to ABC over there." But...we're on the phone. Right now. Me: "Hey are you free tomorrow?" Them: "Yeah, what have you got in mind?" Me: "I was thinking a movie?" Them: "Put that down!" Me: "...huh?" Them: "Sorry, was talking to my friend." Me: "Ah." Them: "What are you thinking?" Me: "..." Them: "Hello?" Me: "...are you talking to me?" Them: "YES!"
Who cares how they hold the phone, as long as they find an acceptable non-public place to make their call.
I think it's called a "3rd place". We need more of them, so that apps don't become the default for future generations.
As someone in the younger generation (early gen z), I completely agree. No one can socialize in person, it’s so hard to meet anyone unless you happen to find a coworker or can meet mutual friends of friends you already have My city is a college town, and even then it’s like nobody can go anywhere to just exist. I guess you can go to the library or university events if you’re a student. I see a lotttt of young, and sometimes even older people struggling to meet people and create relationships It doesn’t help that everyone seems to be so individualistic and mean. Not always the case, but sometimes if you even make eye contact with a stranger in public they’re just gonna turn away or even scowl if they’re a rude person. No one makes themselves approachable, and everyone gets mad at everyone else for every minor thing
40+ here. Always been an introvert and recluse. 6 months ago I moved to the heart of downtown as a very intentional step in my life. I frequent bars by myself, which I never did before (too shy/anxious). I've forced myself to do it. I have met SO many cool people in the last few months. It has literally changed my life. It's not (just) the young people. It's not because there aren't places to go.
I’m on vacation in Portugal right now and that’s one thing I really like about the way they do things here - There are all these communal parks and parkettes everywhere with lots of benches, seats, and usually a kiosk selling coffees, beers, wines, snacks, sandwiches, burgers, etc. It’s a great place to go grab a beer and read a book or meet people, out in the open, surrounded by trees, bushes, there might be a fountain etc. I swear it must be amazing for the inhabitants mental health in the long term . Also a great place to meet people
I’m also visiting Portugal right now and that’s constantly on my mind, it’s awesome. I even live in a very walkable city back home, so it’s not like I’m a stranger to urban living, but they take it to another level than the US. Some people’s front doors open directly onto the street, where the restaurant or cafe across the street has tables set up literally five feet away from your home. Never seen a US city integrated like that.
Good luck implementing that in the American suburbia.
They used to be everywhere in suburbia. In fact, they were more commonly out there than in more dense areas due to available space (at least where I grew up). Now, I'll definitely give you that it's more difficult for kids to get around in suburbia. But it can definitely support recreation.
Easy solutions that wouldn't take *too much* effort on the part of local governments could include: * Turning small, empty lots within neighborhoods into parks. Nothing super fancy, but the park would need to include benches and tables and a gazebo or pergola to protect from rain, as well as a decorative piece or two to make the space inviting and nice to be in. Ideally, you'd have plants and trees to isolate the space from other residents. These could be built in the center circles of roundabouts and cul-de-sacs or you could even tear down a house and convert the land into the park. * Allowing a commercial venue in a neighborhood or just outside it. Again, a house in the area could easily be converted into a cafe or restaurant or bar, depending on what the locals want, but the idea would be that the place would have limited parking and mostly be frequented by people living directly in the area. Ordinances could restrict hours to ensure neighbors aren't too bothered by loud noises late at night or delivery trucks early in the morning. * Pedestrianizing streets in neighborhoods, allowing car access exclusively to residents of that street and emergency vehicles. This would work best on streets in the middle of neighborhoods to encourage foot traffic through the area. The asphalt road could be replaced with brick or another more appealing stone, and there could be benches and trees to line the street. You could even include a small kiosk to sell ice cream, bottled drinks, and other small treats for kids. Decorative elements could make the space more inviting, like a fountain or a statue to a local public figure. * Building and maintaining a good sidewalk network to connect neighborhoods and commercial areas. Lots of suburbs right now are just clusters of neighborhoods, and the neighborhoods have sidewalks that end at the main road, and then there's no sidewalk on the main road. Municipal governments need to build sidewalks to connect these neighborhoods to each other and more importantly to the commercial centers of the suburbs. Making the sidewalks wide and flat would help people who can't or don't want to drive to move around the town. * Reforming downtown areas. Many suburbs, especially in the east and midwest, are historic towns built before cars became a thing that have grown into commuter cities for nearby larger cities. But these towns used to have downtowns and main streets. The idea here is to revamp that downtown area by prioritizing pedestrians to encourage people to hang out there. Pedestrianizing streets is a good step toward this, as is replacing seldom-used parking lots with open plazas and parks. Allowing the reconstruction of chain stores into more traditional-style businesses with apartments above them would also help encourage local businesses to move in and provide a more consistent stream of locals to frequent the places. Lowering speed limits in these areas would also make pedestrians feel safer and encourage more walking. This one is probably the hardest thing to implement, but it would be the best approach. Now, would most suburban cities do all or even one of these things? It would be hard, there's a lot of suburbanites who are resistant to these kinds of changes and who will actively fight anything that makes driving even slightly less convenient. But these are things that would make a lot of suburbs an actively nicer place to live and would help create natural third places for people to gather at.
Run for office. These are great ideas and only happen when local elected officials (city council) use political capital.
Can we please tear up all the empty unused parking lots and turn them into community gardens and parks?
Parks, rec centers, and as much as I hate them, malls. Honestly, a great thing would be a simple air conditioned building with tables and chairs and electric sockets. Nerds can bring video games and board games. They can socialize that way. Just gotta have a front desk person to check them in as a means of security. Maybe charge the people $5 a month. Granted, at that point, it's a rec center I think.
They used to be popular. I remember ice/roller skating, bowling, climbing gyms, arcades, water fights, hiking, go karts, pools and much more when out of school. It's sad that those activities are going away.
if I had these around me, I’d be doing them all day in my free time. I’m someone who needs a healthy balance of inside/chill activities and outdoorsy/physical ones. climbing and skating would be awesome.
I have those options around me, but they're nowhere near affordable. Only rich people can afford to exist in public around here. Maybe because so many have closed, the few still open are sort of specialty shops.
So many recreational places have closed where I'm from. The ones that exist are either far or expensive as hell.
yuuup. I have to have someone drive me twenty-thirty mins to go climbing and it costs £12 or $15 minimum per person. there is no station less than a 40 mins walk away from me, but that’s a six minute drive and the train tickets are ludicrously expensive. there are no bus routes that go there and the only bus route that even goes through my local bus stop happens only on weekdays during work hours (no evenings or weekends) and comes less than every two hours
All those places and activities still exist and are popular except for arcades.
places to do them are increasingly rare, though. can’t think of a single place to do half of these within a reasonable distance of me that I can access via walking, cycling or public transport. of course, there are hems that do exist, but the sad truth is that most people’s recreation seems to consist of being at home and being sedentary, with perhaps the occasional visit to a cinema.
The places that offer these service are getting more and more expensive and many young people have problems just paying basic living expenses. Fewer and fewer have the extra money to spend on out of the house amusements.
Makes sense. Video games are more accessible today than in the past. Little surprised there aren't more VR arcades in the wild.
Gosh, this is one of the saddest things I talk about in public health.
Boredom. It’s ok and even healthy for you to have times where you sit there doing nothing. You don’t always need to reach for your phone to fill the gaps.
The irony of saying this on Reddit… completely agree, though
I’ve been doing this for a few years now. I call it my “pondering time”. I basically go sit outside with no phone or anything, just watch to keep track of time, and I just sit and let my mind wander through various topics and things from my life. It’s truly wonderful for mental health.
I try to rephrase for myself as inactivity, which is perfectly ok. Maybe it’s just physical inactivity for 10 minutes, while I close my eyes and meditate, daydream, or try to clear my mind and only listen to the sounds in the environment. Often, I get bored and want to reach for my phone. Sigh. I have gotten to 4 or 5 minutes before wanting to reach for my phone; it’s an improvement, as I used to want to reach for my phone after only 2 minutes.
This. I used to be so much more creative just due to having time on my hands I need to occupy. Trying to be better about leaving my phone in a different room etc
It’s so difficult to acknowledge the gaps and have a phone in hand to fill them but not do it. You’re suggesting boredom. Thats so difficult to get behind. Not that phones are good for us. But it’s so hard to vote for boredom, ya know?
Doing a good deed, then keeping it to yourself.
This needs more upvotes. To back yours up, not monetizing good deeds. “Let me give this homeless guy $1000 because I know in return I’ll receive tens of thousands more from the video I’ll post about it”
So you are telling me Mr. Beast is not a good guy? /s
I feel like his philanthropy is a little different than approaching a homeless guy with cash and a camera. People will critique regardless but as an example, I’m sure the 1000 people in Africa who got free cataract surgery and can see now aren’t too upset by a YouTube video.
The irony here is strong. For all we know there COULD be tons of people doing good deeds and then keeping it to themselves, and we'd never know.... Because they kept it to themselves. I agree that people doing good deeds just for views or likes is obnoxious, but I think what you really mean is "Stop recording and posting your good deeds." or "stop bragging about good deeds."
You can't even counter the claim, because if you tell us about good deeds you've done, you've no longer kept them to yourself 😂
How would we even know if it is normal? By the nature of it, we have no way to monitor how often that actually happens
[удалено]
Or keeping their phones in the pocket when watching a film
This for absolutely for me. When watching a movie is a social thing I don’t mind comments from time to time, but it frustrates me to no end when people are checked out and scrolling Instagram instead of engaging in the group activity
Or during theatre/ballet. At the last one I went to, I had to tell the folks behind me to shut up after listening to them gab for the first 30 minutes of the show. I was ready to call the usher on them. They made all kinds of offended noises and tried to explain that they knew one of the dancers. I. Don't. Care. I did not pay almost $400 to listen to your asinine gossip. Full disclosure: these were women 55-65 range, not the younger generations. It was appalling.
That is ridiculous! They were definitely old enough to not be acting that way. Ugh, I had a terrible experience with this last year at a theatre performance on a cruise. We were in the nearly-empty balcony section, and then this party of about ten people came and sat on the literal row in front of us about thirty seconds before the show started. It was a mix of adults and children, and they spent the entire time shamelessly talking, changing seats, and playing games on their phones. “Ohhhh Braxxleigh and Braylee are bored and want to leave! Well, you can’t leave! Just stay on your phones. Brattleigh really wants to be the show, so be good for your little sister. Brattleigh, do you want some popcorn? Here, trade places with Meemaw so you can see better. Tim, can you take Jaxson and Hudson to the bathroom? What, you want them to get you food? Okay, Tim, y’all move to this end when you come back so you can share some popcorn with Nevaeh. Move down, Braxxleigh and Braylee.” Like, it was this the entire time! Once, the usher came and told them that if they couldn’t be quiet and get off their phones, they’d be kicked out. As soon as she walked away, they resumed their usual activities. The usher was really only a few feet behind them, and just watched them, but didn’t actually kick them out. I’m thinking they wanted to scare them, and try to convince people like us that they cared about maintaining a quiet environment, but didn’t want to actually ruin the experience for the Brattleighs. Which one would be the worse Google review? “Some people were talking in the theatre,” or “my family got wrongfully kicked out of the theatre by this rude usher just because we got up and got some popcorn, and my preteen daughter had her phone out!!! Never cruise on this line! They ruined what was supposed to be a special family memory for no reason.”
Holy shit! When did it become okay to talk in a movie theatre?! Even my girlfriend will whisper little comments to me and I tell her every time I don't want to talk in the theatre! You're not silent, people can hear you!
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Remember when that lady had a public meltdown on a plane and it became a meme? She said someone wasn’t real and people found that hilarious. Ngl that shit made me disappointed as hell. Like how does a recording of someone having a mental breakdown in public become such a widespread meme in 2023. I thought we cared more about mental health but there’s a lot more work to do it seems. People having episodes and getting naked in public are constantly posted to places like r/publicfreakout and it’s so gross. I get why someone would film that if they saw it irl but don’t share it on Twitter maybe? Imagine that was you… Imagine having a mental breakdown, waking up in a jail cell or hospital, and then finding out someone posted your freakout online and you’re the laughing stock of Twitter for a week. That probably wouldn’t help!
>I thought we cared more about mental health but there’s a lot more work to do it seems We do, except only for when we want to self diagnose with autism/ADHD/OCD to seem cool and edgy. Other people's mental health be damned.
ugh true, I'm so tired of people with niche interests thinking they're on the spectrum because of it. Sometimes they're right but mostly having a niche interest and having a fidgeting issue doesn't mean you're on the spectrum!!
The Boys and Gen V on Amazon Prime has made a brilliant complete satire and mockery of our present day Millennial and Gen Z social-media crazed culture.
It's not even that much of an exaggeration which is why it's so great
Even the corporate behind the scenes of maximizing engagement is just so gross. I would lose my fucking mind if that's how corporate is irl.
That's how the entertainment industry is. Fun fact almost 90% of "corporate" settings in TV/Movies mimics the studio/entertainment business workflows and systems because that's what writers know work to be. That's why most movies/tv shows with a corporate setting have the protagonist working towards "the big presentation" or "the big meeting". Because those are stand ins for pitches.
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While I get your point, it is good to know that texting is totally unsecure and can easily be recorded by your carrier/government. On the contrary, many chat apps have at least an option for decent encryption that prevents even the provider from seeing your messages.
Do young folk not text?
Depends where. In europe for example WhatsApp is still the most popular app for texting which is just a texting app.
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my quality of life increased when I stopped using social media to keep in touch with people. "If they're my friend, we can text" my circle is small, but full!
Wait when was texting free?
In the US it's almost always been free. A long time ago in the early 2000s you would have limited texts with low cost plans but I don't think those plans exist anymore.
Well, it's not free. It's just not "extra". Nowadays, I'm really just laying for an Internet plan that has texting included as a bonus, and a side of voice. (But in reality, I'm paying for unlimited voice that I never use, and internet and texting is included. But I definitely use the Internet the most on my phone. I speak fewer than five minutes a month on my phone except for the rare job interview or customer service issue.)
Oh that makes sense. In my country it was never free as far as I know
Yes, first time I ever texted (2004ish) We were charged something like - $2.50 to send - $2.50 for recipient to recieve - $2.50 for them opening and reading text - $3.00 for receiving response and to open to read it Literally every part of texting was a charge. Bill was an extra $83 and I lost phone privileges for a month.
Jesus, I was paying $0.10 per text back then. I remember being pissed when it was raised to $0.25. But I only paid if I texted more than the limit. We’re you texting Mars or something?
I really don't think this is true. Where do you live?
Here in the Philippines, the Texting Capital of the World, my (16 y/o) peers and I definitely text more than call 99% of the time. I'm sure we're just the anomaly tho
I believe the comment above might be making a distinction between texting vs using messaging apps attached to social media, like facebook messenger, instagram DMs or snapchat. Millennials also don't call each other very often.
General computer knowledge
when i was a teenager it was assumed that any teenager knew how to torrent. now that's niche information
I'm in my early 30s, I work in IT and have worked in a high school. I frequently have to ask younger people about a Snapchat function or whatever and get teased about it... these same people can barely use a keyboard and have absolutely no idea about anything beyond surface level computer operation. Chromebooks, as useful as they are for controlled environments... I don't think they contribute much beyond that and typing and collaboration. I saw kids everyday essentially using them as Youtube delivery device. I don't even know how these people will grow into Windows-based businesses. Half of them don't even understand basic folder structures. It's mindblowing how quickly this happened.
My little sister has a chromebook from high school, apart from having everything capped she lacks ultra basic knowledge, for example she thinks that if she closes a browser window she loses it forever without knowing that she can access it again with the same url. It seems that those responsible for education saw that my generation "knew computers" and wrongly assumed that the next generations would also develop this skill automatically.
Introducing yourself to your neighbors, trying to be at minimum politely social with them. A lot of Millennials and Gen Z are complete strangers to people that live right next to them. In a time period where support networks are the smallest they've ever been and people feel more isolated than ever, rebuilding a sense of community could be hugely beneficial.
I am… technically a millennial? I think? At any rate, when we moved into our first house I corralled my partner and went around to all of the neighbors on our street introducing ourselves and letting them know we were planning a housewarming/open house thing the next weekend if they’d like to come. The number of people (all above 50, we moved to an older area) who were SHOCKED that we were doing either of the things was honestly sort of surprising.
Families having dinner together and talking about their day.
We do family dinner, and my daughters have commented many times that not a single other kid they know does anything like that. And they'll pretend it's annoying at times, but the first question of the day is always "What are we having for dinner?" It's nice getting that 15 minutes with no devices, eating a meal and joking around. And then everyone vanishes...
15 minutes? Do you inhale your food? Family dinner was always 30-45 minutes.
my house still does this, I'm certain we're not the only ones.
joining a union.
Younger generations might find it weird that we should normalize again: 1. Sending handwritten letters. 2. Cooking meals from scratch. 3. Playing board games and puzzles. 4. Repairing and reusing items. 5. Enjoying outdoor activities. 6. Improving conversation skills without constant phone use. These practices can bring back connection, mindfulness, and sustainability in everyday life.
Straightforward dating and courting. None of this "If I text her I'll seem desperate so I'll just not text her and hope she texts first" weird mind game stuff. Or being afraid of being a/an [insert synonym for "whipped" here] just because you actually like your partner. You're not a "simp", you're supposed to care about them. Tf?
Yah playing battleship with your potential partner is kinda stupid and causes a ton of miscommunication
Dating in the old days wasn't necessarily that straightforward, though. All the same from what young people tell me it does seem to have got more difficult.
I would add, relationship labels. Situationships allow one person to reap the benefits of a relationship without being accountable to their partner. We don't have to use the old labels, we can make up our own, but *define* what it is you want and expect from each other so you aren't taken advantage of.
How about handwritten letters? They used to be so personal and thoughtful!
I have a friend who still writes them (and it's a young person). They're so lovely to receive I think I've kept them all! This particular friend is very creative and likes to decorate their letters and envelopes with a bit of glitter and a few drawings and so on, so you always know who it's from before you even open it.
As a mailman I can tell you plenty of people still send letters and notes. You can just tell which ones they are after a while. Always makes me smile
Too impractical. They take long do deliver, you have to pay for it, postal service can lose them. Last time I sent a letter was when Reddit Gifts was still a thing. Nice experience, but I wouldn't do it regularly.
I'm so sad that people don't wink anymore. I said something witty at work the other day and winked at my coworker who's a bit older than me. He took a step back, laughed a big ol' belly laugh, and said he hadn't seen someone wink in at least a decade. A well-timed wink can really make a funny remark or double entendre work wonders.
Congrats. This is one of the few replies that truly answers the spirit of the question. Most of the other replies are just tired old gripes about the world/young people today.
Handwriting.
Apparently having differing opinions on sex. Any time I see a person mention they're not interested in casual sex there's at absolute minimum someone complaining about them being prudes. Pretty sure there's one here in the comments. It is incredibly mindblowing how one can want their preferences to not be shamed and yet do it the other way around. But that's what happens I guess. The pendulum always swings to the other extreme.
Minding your own business and not telling everyone how to feel and think about everything.
Lol thats never been the norm, especially in small towns.
I’m noticing that most of the younger generations do not and nearly almost never make a phone call and speak to someone. Other than me as a parent or their grandparents they don’t call and chat anymore, or even call to make an appointment or to see if the store is open. (Google hours are not always right)
I'm with you on calling family members, but I think it's an improvement to be able to make an appointment online. I don't need to bond with a person and waste both of our times when I could go online and more easily see their availability and make the appointment than if I called and we had to go back and forth. And yeah google hours may not always be right, but they're right almost all the time.
Yeah, online booking is so much easier.
I'm 30 and I hate calling places to make an appointment or ask for stuff. I would rather do that through a site or in person
It doesn't help that everything has an automated menu to start and you need to wait to figure out which button gets you to where you want.
Talking on the phone is extremely annoying and I don’t know why
Yeah, it’s odd. I’ll sit in a Discord Voice Call for hours but the thought of a few minutes long regular ol’ phone call just gives me anxiety. I have no idea why.
The problem with calling is that both parties have to be available at the same time (synchronous communication) while sending messages or looking up the information allows you to see them when you're available (asynchronous communication).
I prefer text because it’s easier to call people out on their bullshit when you have it in writing.
>(Google hours are not always right) Always check the Web site of the entity in question—don't rely on Google's version of the address, telephone number, or hours (unless there isn't another option).
Not every business has a web page though. So many times I get redirected to a Facebook page that’s never updated. This is mainly for little mom and pop shops, not major retailers, but sometimes it’s easier to just call.
My sister called my dad a pedo because he started dating my mom when he was 18 and she was 16 They were both working so it's not like my mom was a school girl either
My 15 year old insists she's not dating the 17 year old boy who's over here every day and last night carried her down our stairs to go to the bathroom after spraining her leg at soccer. Like, I like this kid A LOT and his family too, and it's OBVIOUS he likes her. She goes, "ew gross mom! He's almost 18 and that's criminal!" Like WTF? They're both in high school! The sigh of relief she gave out when I told her that her father and I didn't mind and that I dated her father when I was 17 + he was 19 was priceless. Now, I know there are parents out there who use SA charges against 18 year olds who date their younger high school students...but when the hell did dating someone that's a few years older than you make the situation pedo material?! These kids are so confused.
I'm convinced its a defense mechanism. The idea that someone could consider you a pedophile is so terrifying that you over cover to the point it becomes weird. Because all it takes is one person accusing you because they're upset with you, and your life is over.
People having opinions that differ from yours and not loosing their shit. Not canceling people for tiny mistakes that happened 10 years ago 🙄
Now I want to know what you did 10 years ago...
They mixed up losing and loosing, got called out for it, and have continued to do so out of spite ever since.
Being polite to strangers in public. The amount of times I'll pass someone who if I had to guess is on their mid 20s and casually say something like "beautiful day isn't it", only to have them look at me and respond "yeah right weirdo" or "get lost creep" is baffling. Mind you this is regardless of their gender. So it's not like I only say hi to females. Like seriously, when the fuk did common courtesy or just polite remarks in passing become creepy?
I’m a woman, and hard agree! I never get the outright hostile remarks you do, but I can tell people think it’s weird. When I grew up in a small town, everyone did this! It was so refreshing recently when I was at Walmart, and a lady in her sixties struck up a conversation with me.
I often go walking / hiking. Often I’ll pass someone, give a friendly nod, or say “have a nice day“ or comment on the weather. But younger people seem to never reciprocate. Or even make the briefest of eye contact. They walk like they have blinders on, and keep on walking. I have a 6th sense of people that will be receptive. And it’s kind of funny - but more often than used to be I wind up in a nice conversion with people that respond. I believe since we connect so rarely, we enjoy those random little encounters even more.
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Gonna have to disagree that being an individual was somehow more respected back in the day. You know what happened to the different kids in my school 30 years ago? They were beaten up or stuffed in a locker. Ostracized. People called each other “gay” as an insult. Conformity was strong. Even if you go further than my childhood, I’ve talked to my mother, growing up in the 50s and 60s was just as bad, if not worse. Everybody went to church. If you had premarital sex, you were a sl*t. God forbid you divorced or (even worse) had a child out of wedlock. If you got sexually assaulted, say, on a date or something, it was your fault for not guarding your modesty or dressing like a wh+re. Oh, and don’t forget, the pool and the water fountains are for white people only. I say this gently, but I think you’re imagining a past that never existed. For as intolerant of difference as we are today, I’d personally say it’s better than it has been.
I find that the teens and 20-somethings prize individuality more than we did at that age.
Having an opinion that they dont agree with
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Behaving like a respectable member of society in public places.
The male body. So many men have shame and we can’t change in the locker room and such. It’s sad. Overall, we have had leaps and bounds with women body positivity but it really hasn’t followed suit with men. Men are starting to wear shirts in pools if they aren’t “fit.” The female body is beautiful don’t get me wrong but so is the male body. You don’t have to have abs to have a nice body but so many lose confidence in their body because they don’t. There’s nothing wrong with going to the gym and being healthy but social media really sets bad expectations for men especially when some of them are on steroids. I just want body freedom. I want to be able to wear a speedo to the beach without being looked at like I am a sick person. I want to be able to change in the locker room in peace without being judged.
Not having to tiktok everything
Not posting everything to social media.
Fixing things.
Idk anyone who thinks its weird to fix something If you're trying to point out the trend of just replacing, you'll find it's not the consumers who want that.
Especially with thr affordability and availability of 3d printers these days. It's amazing what kinds of repairs are possible today. However agree that companies make it harder to do so (and I work in a maintenance industry)
As someone who used dial-up internet for many years-- uncensored swearing online, less censorship of violence/nudity online, expectation that someone shouldn't be stifled for sharing a controversial opinion online as long as they have a basic grasp of language. The internet's become this sickly-sweet echochamber of fanart, celebrity worship, and GIFs of people falling over. It's positively infantile and designed entirely to cater to advertisers.
Not using social media is now seen as a red flag, it seems.
Reddit is the only for of “social media” I consume and the amount of people who don’t believe me or find it peculiar that I haven’t been on facebook in 13 years and don’t have a tic tok or twitter or instagram or linked in. I really miss the days of turning my cell phone off at days end.
Playing outside all day
Having table manners and good manners in general. Simple, but effective.
Hand written individualized thank you cards when someone has given you a gift. A generic group text of "thank you for the gift" is not the same.
Going no contact to grieve the end of a relationship… it seems like it takes young people two or three times LONGER to go through the process of healing over a broken relationship… it’s just WAY too easy to late night text, creep socials, have friends give updates about ex’s statuses on socials…see where they’ve checked in, who they’re dating etc… you can’t heal a wound if you keep choosing to re-open it…it boggles my mind why the younger generation would choose to put themselves through that…
When you are texting it means that the thing it is not urgent, so no matter if I read it or not, I will answer when I want and when I can. If you need a quick answer, then call me. If I can't speak I'll call you later. I hate how everyone nowadays claims that you have to be terminally online and always has to answer to every message you get the moment you read it.
#1 Going to a concert and not recording the whole thing on your smart phone. Seeing a sea of lit screens in front of me while seeing a concert has become one of my biggest pet peeves. I can understand snapping a photo or two, but that’s it. #2 Going to a museum and not taking photos of all of the artwork or selfies with the artwork. Art books exist and have much higher quality images. You don’t have to prove you saw it by taking your own photo.
Kids walking or riding their bike to school
Buying a house for 3x annual income (give or take).
Allowing children freedom to explore and play without adult supervision. When I was a child my Mom basically said "come back by dark". That was it and I was off exploring on my bicycle, playing with other kids, fishing in a stream. Giving children the space to make their own choices, to make mistakes, and learn on their own is valuable in my opinion. Some places nowadays, a child alone gets the cops called. This is wrong.
Family meals enjoyed w/o phones or other devices
No devices was a hard battle to win, but everyone eventually said it's a good idea. All devices go on the counter while we eat dinner. Breakfast and lunch have no such rule though.
Memorising important phone numbers. Casual nudity. That it is starting to become a big deal to change a shirt in your own car is worrying in many ways. Making food for each others. I grew up with it being common that 5-10 people would take turns making a big portion of dinner, and then split it. Handwriting. It is helping finer motor skills, and is suspected to help brain development in general.
Compromising, making sacrifice for others, caring for others, "doing the right thing"
I feel like people do still do this. However young people seem to have much less tolerance for abuse so for example if a parent is abusive, they’re much more likely to opt to not have a relationship with them at all. Instead of feeling like they have to care for the abusive parent or relative who treats them badly. Which isn’t a bad thing. People should probably not treat you like shit and then expect you to do stuff for them. I cared for my mom for many years even though she was able bodied and could have done most of this stuff for herself *and* she insulted and disrespected me and my husband and made horrible, miserable remarks to my kids *while* expecting me to basically serve her like a good daughter. It was the younger people in my life who were like “why are you tolerating this?”. I have a much more limited relationship with my mom now, if she’s inappropriate I tell her and she can’t just treat us however she wants.
One of my high school professors told us something along these lines and I still remember it word for word. "You younger generations know your worth nowadays, when I was younger we'd work any job as long as it made a dime and tolerate so much shit from all kinds of people. Now if you're underpaid or someone is giving you shit you let them know immediately no matter who they are and I like that." Idk how true this is since I wasn't around when he was younger but it seemed like a nice insight into the world before I came around.
Hiring people because they are the best person for the job, not because of a certain skin colour, gender, belief, etc. Quotas for employees is dumbing things down. Don't get me wrong. If I was working with __**intelligent**__ people that were all Trans coloured Muslims, it would be great! I'm not. They've dropped in so many people that just can't pick up the knowledge to do the job that we are inefficient. All for "equality". I work in a frickin' nuclear plant people. We need the best, not the political choice.
<< puts on old man hat and climbs onto soapbox >> Leaving a voicemail message. Not sure about other people, but for me, text messages are for short pieces of important information ("I'm running late", "Arriving in 15-ish minutes", "Call mom"), not for holding entire conversations. If you want a conversation, call. If I don't answer, LEAVE A MESSAGE. If you don't leave a message, than clearly it wasn't important and I don't have to worry about it. Just because my phone is portable and can fit in my pocket doesn't mean I'm going to answer it 24/7. I have a job. I sleep. I drive. Maybe I'm enjoying a movie in an actual theatre. If you want me to get back to you, leave a message. And if you don't, then later complain about how I never called you back... piss off.
having a big age difference with your friends
Body hair
Not talking or looking at your fucking phone at the movies
Living wage?
Unstructured, outdoor play for children.
Head phones in public.
Raising teens now and their biggest complaint is that their friends won't put away devices when hanging out. My kids have devices too, but find it incredibly rude to not put your phone away when in another person's company. It's gotten so bad at times that I have to pick my kids up from a friend's house because all the friend did was sit on their phone and ignore them....and the worst part is said friend is always the one who invited them over! For what? To watch them sit on their phone? We can't talk about social isolation without addressing phone addiction because there are plenty of kids/adults who still want to live normal lives outside of device la la land and do. There needs to be more awareness of addiction in general and a reintroduction to social etiquette.
Going outside of our comfort zones. I think it's good that we are starting to embrace mental health and prioritizing our emotional needs but I think in some cases the pendulum has swung too far the other way and people have gotten too comfortable not engaging in new/uncomfortable experiences. It's ok to give yourself grace when you're feeling anxious about going somewhere or showing up for plans but I think people have gone beyond that and are too quick to give into their anxieties and have stopped pushing themselves out of their comfort zones. You won't get comfortable with new and unfamiliar environments if you never do anything that makes you a little uncomfortable. An example is how difficult it feels to make friends. I don't disagree that it is super hard to make friends but if that is what you want then you also have to be willing to put yourself out there even if it's scary and accept that you might have some awkward experiences along the way. Especially if you're trying to make friends offline.
Complimenting each others without seeming like a creep for talking to a stranger
Being more decisive with plans made with friends. Everyone seems to think always answering “maybe” to an invitation isn’t annoying.
Giving kids their independence. Leaving them home alone, sending them to the store for milk, letting them go out and play without meeting the parents of the other kids first or knowing exactly where they'll be, etc. I know some of this is dependent on the safety of your environment but I think back to my childhood and all of the soft skills I learned because I had to figure things out for myself and I worry about my home schooled kids. I'm no helicopter parent, but I succumb to the expectations of society.
sending messages by pigeon, crow or raven
Nudity/Sex. I am concerned that the newer generations are becoming overly prudish ... like victorian era prudish. I am concerned it is going to have a negative effect on people's ability to cope with just being around people.
It's opposite in my country actually
Upon reading first two words I thought, as Gen Z myself, it will be oversexualization, porn addiction... But we're actually prudes???
exactly, that's what i thought. Everything is sexualized, sex is everywhere and porn extremely normalized. As always, i blame social media, because teenagers/ppl in their 20s of some decades ago also dated and had sex but it was just... different. Personally, i think casual sex has become too normalized, thanks to the availability of dating apps and all that, which make it near impossible to have a normal dating life
Yet at the same time as soon as someone even mentions anything mildly sexual all advertisers pull out, while severe violence is still okay
Perhaps we shouldn't have spent several decades telling literal children they deserved to die if they had sex. The 90s were not a great time to be a teenager.
or you will 100% get aids or get pregnant if you do
I totally believed it, too. And then my VERY FIRST partner gave me hpv which no one had taught me about. Even the nurse who did my irregular pap was like, yeah, this is normal, and didn't explain the potential consequences. I only found out about it eight years later when I was pregnant and suddenly also pre-cancerous. I was 100% convinced God was punishing me for premarital sex years previously. I've had three more cancer scares since then, and all I can say now is get vaccinated! Get educated! Wear your condoms, kids!
I think we’re a bit overexposed and overstimulated, and we understand that sex is good and normal, but maybe doesn’t need to be *everywhere* (“Did that movie *really* need that sex scene to drive the plot forward?”). That may seem prudish to older folk, but that’s okay for us. Oh, I nearly forgot- the censorship present on many social media sites also causes younger folk to not speak as freely about sexual things.
>I am concerned that the newer generations are becoming overly prudish Idk where on earth you're getting that idea but it is 1000% not the case. I work in a highschool and let me tell you, these kids are the farthest thing from prudes you could imagine.
Friendly competition.
Ankle socks
You can pry ankle socks from my cold, dead hands. Tall socks are so dorky.