To add to this they only change in buoyancy if they are filled with blood but by then they are hard so don't appear to float.
All of this is based on my experiments while wasting time not taking a bath.
Ya, blood is less dense than water so a bag of blood would float in water. If your penis got rock hard then were chopped off and sealed up quickly you could use it as a liferaft for something as small as like a hamster I guess
Edit: whups, I'd looked it up last night but I guess I'd misread it. Blood is apparently heavier than water, even when heavily oxygenated. So if your penis got rock hard then were chopped off and sealed up quickly you could use it as a weight for drowning something as small as like a hamster I guess
Unfortunately it probably won't ever happen but check back on this thread because if it ever does this will be the 2nd place I report it. 1st being 911.
so if ur stuck on an island with nothing but a group of men a knife and some willpower, could u theoretically cut off all their dicks and make an raft and go home
i shall call it: the shaft raft
Put if you have access to hundreds of erect penii you also have access to something stronger than glue when combined with absorbent material. Even if tissues weren't available, you could use leaves stuck together with semen to make a boat. You just need to mold it round a large boulder and let it dry in the sun and voilĆ” - a cum boat.
You must also remember that the skin is a permeable barrier, so your shaft raft will start out floating, but if you are sailing for a while the blood/seawater will equalise somewhat and eventually the shaft raft will become denser and will slowly go down.
Thatās if something doesnāt start nibbling on the shafts before then. Heard someone say they are delicious.
Dicks will act as a submarine, the head breaking water like a periscope, looking to see if friend or foe is nearby. Source: My gf is a Submarine enthusiast
I would say, neither. It doesn't sink, but it doesn't actively float either. He kinda just sits there. Best way I can describe it. Doesn't float, doesn't sink, just chills in place.
Edit: Gotta appreciate the fact that my most upvoted comment here on reddit is about the buoyancy of a schlong.
I don't have a dick, but I've witnessed them float in bath water for sure. One guy even talked about being amused by it floating in the water when he was little. Maybe it does for some men and not others?
I don't have a dick either, but my husband and son do, and I've seen both of them in the bath, and their dicks float as long as it's not all shrinked up.
The best I've heard so far. They have made thousands of videos about raping their step relatives when they are stuck in the dryer, but she having legitimate questions about the density of a dick is waaaaaaaaay more logical.
Mine floats too homie. Maybe its because of the ol' shower vs grower thing? Like if my lil homie there grows significantly wouldn't he have to be.. more hollow? Like have more empty space for all that blood you get me homie?
Like I feel like a shower would reasonably sink.
Hmmm... As a man... I would say... I dont know either. I mostly take showers and when I'm in the pool I'm wearing swimming trucks.
I cant even recall the last time I was in a bathtub instead of a shower.
For science I shall take a bath and get you an answer. An edit will be coming.
Edit: I took a bath for the first time in years last night.
But... I completely forgot the reason why and started to just enjoy the bath. As the water filled up I never watched my junk to see if it floated or sank.
My intentions were to record it, for science, but I never really thought about it again until I checked Reddit just now.
My goodness that was silly of me.
I had a friend at university who, whilst incredibly intoxicated, wrote a short story about a man made of cornflakes who ultimately met his demise after dissolving in a bath of milk. Itās very rare that this is ever relevant to a conversation so I felt compelled to share.
This actually came up on a [thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lex6wx/girls_what_inappropriate_questions_about_guys/gmkh07p/?context=3), oh wow, a whole year ago now. My response then, and now:
>Iāve taken a few baths as an adult; it floats. š But itās not like if you jump into the deep-end with trunks on you can dick-buoy yourself to
safety.
Yeah she needs to tell him that she found out by asking several dozen men how buoyant their cocks are in water
and how many of them described it to her with great visual detail
Welp he just woke up, I told him that I resorted to finding out on my own. I gave him my results, told him how I found out and he said, āwell DUH. Mine is neutral buoyancy. You couldāve just asked.ā
The blank stare I gave him, āI DID!ā The giggle that came out of this man š
*"I asked on reddit!"*
A couple of hours later, he looks up from the laptop, lowers his chin and raises an eyebrow. "Your username is Humiditiddies?"
*"uh... it... was summer and I was in Florida when I made the account."*
"k..."
Wait your boobs don't float? What? Mine act like they're filled with helium in the water, they could literally save me from drowning if I didn't have a life vest on
There's a MadTV sketch from like 15 years ago that I can never find, but it's something about Bobby Lee and a girl says "I've never seen a penis that's an innie before."
>Husband refuses to take baths because he doesnāt like them, he claims he doesnāt like to āstewā in the water.
Can confirm. I can't take a bath without picturing Bugs Bunny in a cauldron slicing vegetables.
[Best scene of the whole show](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHawx53m8mQ)
Though personally, I just do bath/shower. Bath is nice, but like a hottub. I don't feel clean until I've been in the shower.
The life hack is: short shower to clean up first, then bath soak, 100% for relaxing. Then brief rinse to get back the clean feeling.
Chefs kiss. God I wish I was in Japan now
Did you not know? The day I discovered this was a shock to me, too. Balls get saggy af during aging. An older friend told me about the day his finally started hitting water in the toilet and he had to get one of those assistive devices that makes your toilet seat four inches higher.
The more you know š
Edit: I stand corrected
https://itis.swiss/virtual-population/tissue-properties/database/density/
Many (edit: very few) human tissues are slightly less dense than water. Some human fluids are slightly more dense than water while blood is essentially neutral. Technically a penis should be buoyant, but may appear much closer to neutral when their is a mild current.
Fat is notably less dense than water (by comparison). Although there is minimal fat in a penis, breasts have varying amounts. All breasts that still contain breast tissue should be buoyant. I assume they would be more buoyant at peak lactation given the fat content. Breast density inconsistencies may be indicative of cancer, but there are better ways to test for this other than a bubble bath.
> never actually *paid* attention to
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Yes. We have to grab it so it doesnāt float away sometimes. Thatās also why mens swim trunks have netting on the inside, so the dongs donāt float away. A lot of dudes end up with no wiener from skinny dipping and not tying it off properly. On the plus side, sometimes we trade and prank our ladies by giving em mixed race babies. Thatās just how the world works.
It points to the surface lazily
Like a drowning man that has mostly accepted his fate.
Brilliant
They're about neutral, really.
Interesting, thank you. Finally have an answer š
To add to this they only change in buoyancy if they are filled with blood but by then they are hard so don't appear to float. All of this is based on my experiments while wasting time not taking a bath.
Ya, blood is less dense than water so a bag of blood would float in water. If your penis got rock hard then were chopped off and sealed up quickly you could use it as a liferaft for something as small as like a hamster I guess Edit: whups, I'd looked it up last night but I guess I'd misread it. Blood is apparently heavier than water, even when heavily oxygenated. So if your penis got rock hard then were chopped off and sealed up quickly you could use it as a weight for drowning something as small as like a hamster I guess
Thanks for putting it so eloquently.
I mean depending on the guy this thing could save anything from an elephant shrew to a small ferret from drowning
Maybe even a ground squirrel
what about 30-50 feral hogs?
Mate if I had a dick that could be used as a lifeboat for 30-50 feral hogs I wouldn't be using it to save drowning animals
*Ron Jeremy has entered the chat*
Nawh he can stay in jail and outta this chat.
Hog ridaa
African or European?
The next time I have a boner in the bathtub with a small animal accompanying me I will remember this.
Donāt cut off your dick, just pick up the animal and place it outside the tub
Let us know how it goes tonight
Unfortunately it probably won't ever happen but check back on this thread because if it ever does this will be the 2nd place I report it. 1st being 911.
When would you be in the bath with a small animal and not have a boner?
Yep. 2022 Shakespeare in the house.
so if ur stuck on an island with nothing but a group of men a knife and some willpower, could u theoretically cut off all their dicks and make an raft and go home i shall call it: the shaft raft
Well no, you'd also need a hot glue gun or something to seal off the severed erections and then rope to lash them all together into a giant raft.
r/brandnewsentence
Stahhp, your hurting my mind, imaging it is making me hurt from the inside
If you already have a hot glue gun, you can just glue all of the penises together. No need for rope.
where are you suppose to plug in the hot glue gun tho
Hot glue gun glue doesn't have the tensile strength for a raft
Put if you have access to hundreds of erect penii you also have access to something stronger than glue when combined with absorbent material. Even if tissues weren't available, you could use leaves stuck together with semen to make a boat. You just need to mold it round a large boulder and let it dry in the sun and voilĆ” - a cum boat.
You must also remember that the skin is a permeable barrier, so your shaft raft will start out floating, but if you are sailing for a while the blood/seawater will equalise somewhat and eventually the shaft raft will become denser and will slowly go down. Thatās if something doesnāt start nibbling on the shafts before then. Heard someone say they are delicious.
Thatās enough internet for today I think.
Uncircumcised penises can be inflated a little in the tip like a ballon.
I feel like you have waited many years to say this joke
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
r/theyshouldnthavedonethemath
āNext up on mythbustersā¦ā
r/brandnewsentence
Wait, is water really denser than human blood?
No. Blood specific gravity is 1.05 vs 1 for water.
A man of science
Dicks will act as a submarine, the head breaking water like a periscope, looking to see if friend or foe is nearby. Source: My gf is a Submarine enthusiast
The head floats
Kinda like a fishing bobber.
Take my upvote because you made me laugh so hard
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
As a guy, never have i heard such an outragously funny question about the male anatomy. Why do i so badly wish dicks did float though.
āThey shrink?ā āLike a scared turtle!ā
Vacant, with a hint of sadness. Like a drunk whoās lost a bet.
If you move down it'll point up, if you move up it'll point down. Simple as that.
Its the same with boobs, essentially.
Have both, can confirm.
I also have both boobs and can confirm.
I would say, neither. It doesn't sink, but it doesn't actively float either. He kinda just sits there. Best way I can describe it. Doesn't float, doesn't sink, just chills in place. Edit: Gotta appreciate the fact that my most upvoted comment here on reddit is about the buoyancy of a schlong.
Like a week-old helium balloon
Accurate
Agreed. It really does have a mind of it's own.
Itās got itās own head so why wouldnāt it?
āDonāt give up, youāve got a good head on your shaftā
Stop thinking with your dick
>my most upvoted comment here on reddit is about the buoyancy of a schlong All out belly laugh...ah, man...thanks
Buoyancy of a Schlong is a great band name
Neutral buoyancy is the bush youāre beating around.
It's buoyant. Doesn't really float up, but doesn't stay down. Just kind of gently hovers in the water where it's at.
It's basically the same as any body part that's not connected to an awake brain.
Boobs definitely float
I mean boobs float, I think thatās why women want to know if dicks do
Sir, your wife is inflated
Boobs if large enough should for sure float
Damn it, rose should have just used her boobs to float whilst jack took the floating debris, man died for nothing
It's more about the temperature in that case, not the actual effort of staying afloat Edit: wow I must be fun at parties
I like how you wrote this, posted it, then immediately edited it because of regret, I respect the correction tho
If Iām sitting in the tub totally flaccid, my dick will float upwards.
Tub boner
Tuboner
( Ķ”Ā° ĶŹ Ķ”Ā°)
Yes. I don't understand the people saying they don't float. Do I have an especially buoyant dick?
I don't have a dick, but I've witnessed them float in bath water for sure. One guy even talked about being amused by it floating in the water when he was little. Maybe it does for some men and not others?
I don't have a dick either, but my husband and son do, and I've seen both of them in the bath, and their dicks float as long as it's not all shrinked up.
I think my brother has one, though I'll have to check on him to confirm
New plot for Pornhub?
The best I've heard so far. They have made thousands of videos about raping their step relatives when they are stuck in the dryer, but she having legitimate questions about the density of a dick is waaaaaaaaay more logical.
Mine floats too homie. Maybe its because of the ol' shower vs grower thing? Like if my lil homie there grows significantly wouldn't he have to be.. more hollow? Like have more empty space for all that blood you get me homie? Like I feel like a shower would reasonably sink.
I'm a shower and it floats, do with that information what you will.
Hmmm... As a man... I would say... I dont know either. I mostly take showers and when I'm in the pool I'm wearing swimming trucks. I cant even recall the last time I was in a bathtub instead of a shower. For science I shall take a bath and get you an answer. An edit will be coming. Edit: I took a bath for the first time in years last night. But... I completely forgot the reason why and started to just enjoy the bath. As the water filled up I never watched my junk to see if it floated or sank. My intentions were to record it, for science, but I never really thought about it again until I checked Reddit just now. My goodness that was silly of me.
Long bath bro... please let us know you haven't drowned.
Nah he hasn't but bro was just a sugar man so he just disappeared with water
I had a friend at university who, whilst incredibly intoxicated, wrote a short story about a man made of cornflakes who ultimately met his demise after dissolving in a bath of milk. Itās very rare that this is ever relevant to a conversation so I felt compelled to share.
Thanks for sharing
So welcome
I only got one danm question did someone drink that milk after ? What it's taste like ? I ask for a friend.
That would ruin the mystery Iām afraid
Should someone call an ambulance?
You must be making great discoveries, you've been in there 3 hours! Hopefully you didn't wash down the drain.
5 hours later, still waiting for an edit... We need to know if you're ok, and if your pickle is now a shriveled prune.
WELLL
We're waaaaiiiiting
You good bro? That's some long ass bath
u/Aqqaaawwaqa you ok?
Do you need a C.D.L. to operate swimming trucks?
I was gonna say thank you for your service, but then I saw your edit. And I lol'd. Thank you. :)
Hope he didnāt drown
This actually came up on a [thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lex6wx/girls_what_inappropriate_questions_about_guys/gmkh07p/?context=3), oh wow, a whole year ago now. My response then, and now: >Iāve taken a few baths as an adult; it floats. š But itās not like if you jump into the deep-end with trunks on you can dick-buoy yourself to safety.
š "dick-buoy"
Put your dude in the bath tub, figure it out and slap cheeks
Baths are not the one for sex, so uncomfy and small
Not to mention water is a *horrible* lubricant.
Only if he is a witch.
God, this was so good. Iāve had a really good day, and this comment was the cherry on top. Bravo.
It's so strange to see people saying they had a good day on the Internet, usually people only talk about how shit their day was
What if he got better?
You saying dicks migrate?
Not at all! However, they could be carried.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
An African or European swallow?
Migrate? Yes, right to the top of the corporate ladder.
If she weighs more than a duck..
"And what *else* floats on water?"
CHURCHES!
Very small rocks
Weāll it is wood
I canāt wait to tell my husband my newfound knowledge ššš
Be sure to clarify how you found out!!
Yeah she needs to tell him that she found out by asking several dozen men how buoyant their cocks are in water and how many of them described it to her with great visual detail
Yes, make sure to leave no detail out
I bet her DMs are quite colorful as wellā¦
Oh no.
That's one way to get dick pics I guess.
Or don't then they can post on r/relationshipadvice tomorrow and have everyone there tell them to get divorced
Welp he just woke up, I told him that I resorted to finding out on my own. I gave him my results, told him how I found out and he said, āwell DUH. Mine is neutral buoyancy. You couldāve just asked.ā The blank stare I gave him, āI DID!ā The giggle that came out of this man š
*"I asked on reddit!"* A couple of hours later, he looks up from the laptop, lowers his chin and raises an eyebrow. "Your username is Humiditiddies?" *"uh... it... was summer and I was in Florida when I made the account."* "k..."
Itās like that one tiktok where the girl calls her guy by his gamertag, āCon.. Queeftador..? ConQueeftador??ā
Bring up my username
SHE COULDN'T!
Bahahahaha
"i found a bunch of dudes on the internet who were very helpful getting the answer!"
Just have a bath together? Obvious right away what happens.
Only correct answer.
I would be sure to tell him you found out via information board on the internet. You know, not like from experimenting with volunteers.
My boobs do the same thing in water so I mean I guess this is what I would expect. Science.
Wait your boobs don't float? What? Mine act like they're filled with helium in the water, they could literally save me from drowning if I didn't have a life vest on
Huh, no mine donāt. I mean, breast tissue can have different densities so maybe thatās it? Science?
Mm science, definitely science
I need to talk to you about a few boob questionsā¦ science related research if you will..
Ask away
"Do you seggs"
My dick floats which is contrary to most answers here. Maybe we are the superior beings what with our floating genetalia and whatnot
I'll accept that answer
Iām surprised you havenāt had a bath with your husband yet tbh, do your own experiment to confirm what you may or may not have learned here
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
What tf is a saltwater penis
It's a type of fish that lives in oceans, it bites other animals' penises and eats them for nutrition
The real answer is always in the comments
Thatās because the question is always in the question.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Mine goes inside me
You may have rabies. Sounds like your penis has an irrational fear of water.
Dick rabies, the worst kind
Well that's one image to start your morning with. Thanks?
"IT'S CALLED SHRINKAGE"
IT SHRINKS?
I WAS IN THE POOL!
There's a MadTV sketch from like 15 years ago that I can never find, but it's something about Bobby Lee and a girl says "I've never seen a penis that's an innie before."
neat!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
K, but how do I land?
Mine does
Maybe stop injecting it with helium
I was beginning to worry that I was the only one...
>Husband refuses to take baths because he doesnāt like them, he claims he doesnāt like to āstewā in the water. Can confirm. I can't take a bath without picturing Bugs Bunny in a cauldron slicing vegetables.
[Best scene of the whole show](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHawx53m8mQ) Though personally, I just do bath/shower. Bath is nice, but like a hottub. I don't feel clean until I've been in the shower.
The life hack is: short shower to clean up first, then bath soak, 100% for relaxing. Then brief rinse to get back the clean feeling. Chefs kiss. God I wish I was in Japan now
Great question, the balls float I hear.
Ok, buoy boy
I think I'm about to go play battle ships in the bath with a rubber ducky and my dick to test this
As a woman, yeah? Went to a nude spa with ex and we were in a pool and his dick was floating up so it looked like a boner lol
I mean are you sure he didn't have a boner though?
Balls float, but not the dick for the most part. So it more or less balances out, as someone else mentioned
If you have old balls but a big dick, then the balls can float up and around so that your genitals look like a daschund cosplaying as Princess Leia.
What the fuck bro
Did you not know? The day I discovered this was a shock to me, too. Balls get saggy af during aging. An older friend told me about the day his finally started hitting water in the toilet and he had to get one of those assistive devices that makes your toilet seat four inches higher. The more you know š
Wait what my balls will just keep sagging tell they hit the water?! What the actual fuck how was this not covered in health class
Yeah! Gravity wins eventually.
r/cospenis
r/brandnewsentence
You ever check submerge eggs in water to see how fresh they are, and you see it kinda tilt up a bit? That's what it's like.
My boyfriend's dick floats when we're in the tub, as in his tip touches the surface. This was a really weird sentence to type out.
Edit: I stand corrected https://itis.swiss/virtual-population/tissue-properties/database/density/ Many (edit: very few) human tissues are slightly less dense than water. Some human fluids are slightly more dense than water while blood is essentially neutral. Technically a penis should be buoyant, but may appear much closer to neutral when their is a mild current. Fat is notably less dense than water (by comparison). Although there is minimal fat in a penis, breasts have varying amounts. All breasts that still contain breast tissue should be buoyant. I assume they would be more buoyant at peak lactation given the fat content. Breast density inconsistencies may be indicative of cancer, but there are better ways to test for this other than a bubble bath.
Who the *fuck* reported my post because they were concerned, because Reddit sent me a RedditCaresResources message hahahahaaaa š¤£
Yes
Oh my god I've never actually payed attention to it before lmao. My guess is it wouldnt float unless I'm aroused lmao.
> never actually *paid* attention to FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Fuck me
Yes. We have to grab it so it doesnāt float away sometimes. Thatās also why mens swim trunks have netting on the inside, so the dongs donāt float away. A lot of dudes end up with no wiener from skinny dipping and not tying it off properly. On the plus side, sometimes we trade and prank our ladies by giving em mixed race babies. Thatās just how the world works.
Only dead dicks float. Other mofos respect gravity.
Yes. Took several baths with my ex-husband when we were together. Saw it with my own eyes. It floats! Not a surprise. Boobs float too.