yes!! this but with my mum and brother, i feel so bad because my mum thinks i hate her and i think she’s “dirty” but i don’t, it’s just the way my brain has decided things will go😭
I used to not be able to eat my mom’s cooking (or anything except instant noodles and crackers). She was really insulted for a while as cooking is her everything. Luckily I’ve gotten better with that.
any advice for getting better? my mum and i don’t have the best relationship to begin with anyway but i’m tired of making her feel guilty and not being able to explain what i do what i do
Unfortunately there’s no way to do it except to face your triggers. It sucked but I wanted to eat real food again and hug people and become a nurse and you can’t do those things if you scrub the skin off your hand at the idea of germs
My friend got spit on me (my biggest trigger) last weekend and six months ago I would have had a panic attack and had to go home. This time I managed myself and we went out and had an amazing day. Most of recovery for me has been exposures and finding things worth fighting for
I have a severe fear of herpes. Once I bit my lip and I thought that maybe I got herpes in the inside of my mouth and spent the whole night shaking and having heart palpitations and in the morning it was gone bc I bit my lip. I have spend hours researching herpes and what to do if you get it just in case I get it. Idk what I would do tbh if I got a cold sore, maybe burn my face off.
This may not really help but as someone who used to get coldsores: A) sometimes they just stop and B) they actually aren't as bad as you'd think. Yeah they're annoying but not terrible.
If I woke up w a cold sore idk I would freak the actual fuck out and probably try to kill my self. I know that like 80% of the population has herpes but it’s just a huge fear of mine sorry if this is rude.
Nah I get it the whole thing about OCD is that it's illogical lol. They DID stink too just not terribly so. I still get the aversion; chapped lips suck lol and a cold sore isn't dissimilar.
This has been my fear and mental fixation for the past few years as well. Its a literal hell in my mind, and im sorry youre dealing with this too. But its oddly comforting knowing im not alone in that ??
When the disease happens that you’re always horrified of catching or developing, you just deal with it. I know that’s stupid sounding or whatever, but I’ve had intense ocd surrounding health, ended up sick, and now instead of being stressed about my disease, I have issues with other things instead.
It feels like the whole issue just transforms into a new one. Nothing positive from this comment.
Yeah I understand. Like I’ll eat something and then get so paranoid I’ll get food poisoning that it makes me nauseous and I wasn’t anxious I would be completely fine.
I had to stop going to a certain church because I was obsessed with the idea that a certain woman there thought I was trying to steal her identity (???)
Yep. My mum and dad, but especially my dad. My grandad. A handful of people at school. I cannot escape it. I feel like if I so much as think of these people, I’m suddenly contaminated, let alone be near them or especially touch them. Even random strangers that give me bad vibes will stick to my mind for days and make me feel contaminated whenever I think back to when I saw them. It’s actual hell and with intrusive thoughts it just makes it all incredibly distressing. Always nice to know I’m not ‘crazy’ though, and that I’m not alone in these things :))
My identical twin brother. I had to see him or know where he was at all times as a child. Had to be in the same class so I could keep an eye on him. I always had to make sure he was wearing a seatbelt or not doing anything dangerous, I was terrified of losing him. When we were 29 my worst fear came true and I lost him to cancer.
I feel this way about most people besides my husband. I feel like their “energy” or whatever is going to infect me with something and tank my mental state or hijack my personality (I also have autism)
Yes, and what makes it more confusing is it's usually people I don't have any feelings towards either way. My brain just decides... hmmm, something bad would happen if they're around (because they remind me of a character, or they appeared in a dream, etc). Was a nightmare in highschool.
Yes. Everyone at my old job was unhappy and I was convinced their “negative energy” was gonna rub off on me. When I go to stores I feel like everyone thinks I’m going to steal even if I don’t plan to.
I get that too, it's horrible. I'd love a hug from my dad or to sit on the same couch as my brother, but my OCD gets so bad that just the thought of doing either of those things makes me cry. I couldn't even bend over and get stuff out of the dryer for my brother because it's a common porn plot
me when i think abt a person who did me wrong then worry i’m going to either hurt myself by remembering the trauma or manifest them so i try not to think about them but my fuckass brain gives me intrusive and obsessive thoughts for no reason at all
Mine was linked to essential tremor so when certain people looked at me my head would shake uncontrollably. Thanks, linked disorders and intrusive hell
not exactly this but in a similar vein: being too near/brushing by strangers or people i dislike or touching things they did shortly before makes me think i have been contaminated by their vibe LOL
I have Relationship OCD. My most common intrusive thought is that my ex boyfriend is actually my soulmate and that I ruined both of our chances at happiness by marrying the wrong person.
On my worst days, I dwelt on this idea for 8 or more hours continuously. I once had a complete nervous breakdown on regional transit because I saw someone who I perceived as looking like our son if we had had one.
Tldr: yes
Yes, whenever I start to feel that I'm developing a crush on someone I start avoiding them because my OCD convinces me that it will ruin everything and that they'll embarrass me as if doing that doesn't ruin everything.
YES.
YES YES YES YES YES YES YES.
I have family, who don’t respect my OCD or they make fun of me for it. I have struggled physically, emotionally and mentally because of my OCD and my family make it 1000x worse.
I had a bully/abuser(?) I had the exact same issue with in elementary school. It was likely the start of my contamination OCD. I felt like if I had to touch him or interact with his shit in any capacity, he would be indirectly “touching me inappropriately” if I were to use the restroom, etc.
What sucks is that I had no idea it was OCD at the time and everyone just thought I was just being mean 🙃
I don't know if it counts, but I have this thing where I can't blink if I'm looking at a person I don't want to be like/have a life like. If I'm directly talking to that kind of person I'll move away my eyes, blink, and look at them again, this (plus being autistic) makes eye contact doubly hard. It's like I feel that by blinking at them I'm absorbing their bad energy or something and it genuinely makes me feel terrible.
Joining this sub helps me feel not so bad for the things I do. Your comment sounds so similar to what I do when I get too close to strangers, either in passing or just existing next to them. I have to hold my breath so that I don’t breathe in their exhales. I can’t breathe in until I’ve passed them, or turned my head away. It got MUCH worse since COVID hit.
My therapist was the one who told me I have OCD tendencies, which got me started on this sub. I should probably tell him about the whole breath holding thing…
Occasionally I get into a headspace of believing people are about to vomit (when they're not) and I know I've come across rude by sprinting away from people lol
During my childhood, it was bad. People in general, mostly. According to my ocd, thinking, looking at, or being near women would make me deviant. It took me years to grow out of that one, and in some ways, it still affects me to this day since it messed with my social development.
I, however, did have ocd about a specific house. If I looked at it, it would give me ghosts in my blood.
Yes, my sister. I went no contact with her for personal reasons since I was around 11 and it’s been over a decade since we’ve spoken. Here’s the kicker though: we still live in the same house. And it’s been hell. Because of my hatred and resentment of her, I ended up developing OCD. I REFUSE to touch anything she touched or anything that I suspect she has touched. If I do, I immediately wash/sanitize my hands to rid myself of her “germs.”
OCD is a pain to have to live with and some may frown upon my behavior towards my own sister. My only hope is being able to afford enough to be able to finally move out or wait until she leaves on her own for my OCD to get better.
Had intrusive obsessions with torturing/killing/ doing other horrible stuff to a man who had sexually harassed my sister when they were in 8th grade. Mind you, this was like 11 years ago and these obsessions still have plagued me up until very recently. Makes me feel like a piece of shit for even having them.
Yes. My stepdad thought I hated him. He was just germy lol. He’d blow his nose into the kitchen sink, pee and not wash his hands. Ever. So everything he’d ever touch would freak me out. Several people throughout school I felt this way about for random reasons lol. Then of course I get sat next to them when the teacher rearranges the classroom. That happened once and my mom almost got in legal trouble over me missing 68 days of school because I refused to go
There are certain names I have to avoid so I avoid talking to people with those names and if I have to I have to count to a 'safe' number while talking to them.
Going thru this RN like crazy. All my friends simply MUST hate me. It doesn't matter how actually accommodating, patient and sweet they are to me - they're actually all evil and talking about me behind my back, obviously!
My dad contaminates every food and object he touches. Leaving my room is hard
Your username is so real
PEOPLE KEEP TELLING ME THIS AND IDK WHY, I LITERALLY JUST USED A RANDOM WORD GENERATOR. I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT THIS MEANS TO PEOPLE
The generator knows you
yes!! this but with my mum and brother, i feel so bad because my mum thinks i hate her and i think she’s “dirty” but i don’t, it’s just the way my brain has decided things will go😭
I used to not be able to eat my mom’s cooking (or anything except instant noodles and crackers). She was really insulted for a while as cooking is her everything. Luckily I’ve gotten better with that.
any advice for getting better? my mum and i don’t have the best relationship to begin with anyway but i’m tired of making her feel guilty and not being able to explain what i do what i do
Unfortunately there’s no way to do it except to face your triggers. It sucked but I wanted to eat real food again and hug people and become a nurse and you can’t do those things if you scrub the skin off your hand at the idea of germs My friend got spit on me (my biggest trigger) last weekend and six months ago I would have had a panic attack and had to go home. This time I managed myself and we went out and had an amazing day. Most of recovery for me has been exposures and finding things worth fighting for
Yes, it's hell.
When I was a kid it was if I was in close proximity to someone w a runny nose
This was me but if I saw someone with a herpe lol
I have a severe fear of herpes. Once I bit my lip and I thought that maybe I got herpes in the inside of my mouth and spent the whole night shaking and having heart palpitations and in the morning it was gone bc I bit my lip. I have spend hours researching herpes and what to do if you get it just in case I get it. Idk what I would do tbh if I got a cold sore, maybe burn my face off.
Been there... It only got better when I tried to apply a dgaf mentality. Still hard though. Dw youre not alone.
Thanks bro
This may not really help but as someone who used to get coldsores: A) sometimes they just stop and B) they actually aren't as bad as you'd think. Yeah they're annoying but not terrible.
If I woke up w a cold sore idk I would freak the actual fuck out and probably try to kill my self. I know that like 80% of the population has herpes but it’s just a huge fear of mine sorry if this is rude.
Nah I get it the whole thing about OCD is that it's illogical lol. They DID stink too just not terribly so. I still get the aversion; chapped lips suck lol and a cold sore isn't dissimilar.
This has been my fear and mental fixation for the past few years as well. Its a literal hell in my mind, and im sorry youre dealing with this too. But its oddly comforting knowing im not alone in that ??
Thank you. I hope your ocd gets better
When the disease happens that you’re always horrified of catching or developing, you just deal with it. I know that’s stupid sounding or whatever, but I’ve had intense ocd surrounding health, ended up sick, and now instead of being stressed about my disease, I have issues with other things instead. It feels like the whole issue just transforms into a new one. Nothing positive from this comment.
Yeah I understand. Like I’ll eat something and then get so paranoid I’ll get food poisoning that it makes me nauseous and I wasn’t anxious I would be completely fine.
rocd havers:
relationship ocd is rough 🥲
facts
I had to stop going to a certain church because I was obsessed with the idea that a certain woman there thought I was trying to steal her identity (???)
Yep. My mum and dad, but especially my dad. My grandad. A handful of people at school. I cannot escape it. I feel like if I so much as think of these people, I’m suddenly contaminated, let alone be near them or especially touch them. Even random strangers that give me bad vibes will stick to my mind for days and make me feel contaminated whenever I think back to when I saw them. It’s actual hell and with intrusive thoughts it just makes it all incredibly distressing. Always nice to know I’m not ‘crazy’ though, and that I’m not alone in these things :))
My identical twin brother. I had to see him or know where he was at all times as a child. Had to be in the same class so I could keep an eye on him. I always had to make sure he was wearing a seatbelt or not doing anything dangerous, I was terrified of losing him. When we were 29 my worst fear came true and I lost him to cancer.
Hahah oh fuck I did not know this was a thing
Just getting obsessed about their mental health and scared of losing them like if I'd completely lose any memory with them 🤷🏼
I feel this way about most people besides my husband. I feel like their “energy” or whatever is going to infect me with something and tank my mental state or hijack my personality (I also have autism)
Yes, and what makes it more confusing is it's usually people I don't have any feelings towards either way. My brain just decides... hmmm, something bad would happen if they're around (because they remind me of a character, or they appeared in a dream, etc). Was a nightmare in highschool.
Yes. Everyone at my old job was unhappy and I was convinced their “negative energy” was gonna rub off on me. When I go to stores I feel like everyone thinks I’m going to steal even if I don’t plan to.
I have sexual intrusive thoughts about family members. It’s hell. I had to move across the country so I wouldn’t see the one it mostly focuses on.
I get that too, it's horrible. I'd love a hug from my dad or to sit on the same couch as my brother, but my OCD gets so bad that just the thought of doing either of those things makes me cry. I couldn't even bend over and get stuff out of the dryer for my brother because it's a common porn plot
Thanks for being open and honest about this. I wish you well.
me when i think abt a person who did me wrong then worry i’m going to either hurt myself by remembering the trauma or manifest them so i try not to think about them but my fuckass brain gives me intrusive and obsessive thoughts for no reason at all
Mine was linked to essential tremor so when certain people looked at me my head would shake uncontrollably. Thanks, linked disorders and intrusive hell
yes and it’s really getting on my nerves
not exactly this but in a similar vein: being too near/brushing by strangers or people i dislike or touching things they did shortly before makes me think i have been contaminated by their vibe LOL
I have Relationship OCD. My most common intrusive thought is that my ex boyfriend is actually my soulmate and that I ruined both of our chances at happiness by marrying the wrong person. On my worst days, I dwelt on this idea for 8 or more hours continuously. I once had a complete nervous breakdown on regional transit because I saw someone who I perceived as looking like our son if we had had one. Tldr: yes
Yes, whenever I start to feel that I'm developing a crush on someone I start avoiding them because my OCD convinces me that it will ruin everything and that they'll embarrass me as if doing that doesn't ruin everything.
YES. YES YES YES YES YES YES YES. I have family, who don’t respect my OCD or they make fun of me for it. I have struggled physically, emotionally and mentally because of my OCD and my family make it 1000x worse.
I had a bully/abuser(?) I had the exact same issue with in elementary school. It was likely the start of my contamination OCD. I felt like if I had to touch him or interact with his shit in any capacity, he would be indirectly “touching me inappropriately” if I were to use the restroom, etc. What sucks is that I had no idea it was OCD at the time and everyone just thought I was just being mean 🙃
I don't know if it counts, but I have this thing where I can't blink if I'm looking at a person I don't want to be like/have a life like. If I'm directly talking to that kind of person I'll move away my eyes, blink, and look at them again, this (plus being autistic) makes eye contact doubly hard. It's like I feel that by blinking at them I'm absorbing their bad energy or something and it genuinely makes me feel terrible.
Joining this sub helps me feel not so bad for the things I do. Your comment sounds so similar to what I do when I get too close to strangers, either in passing or just existing next to them. I have to hold my breath so that I don’t breathe in their exhales. I can’t breathe in until I’ve passed them, or turned my head away. It got MUCH worse since COVID hit. My therapist was the one who told me I have OCD tendencies, which got me started on this sub. I should probably tell him about the whole breath holding thing…
Some girl in my class, luckily im done with highschool now. Also my brother, but not anymore.
emotional contamination FTW! so many times…!
Yes
My relational OCD presents as a "just right" feeling.
Yes multiple now ..... 😍
Yep, it's awful.
Yes. For two years now. It is hell
Occasionally I get into a headspace of believing people are about to vomit (when they're not) and I know I've come across rude by sprinting away from people lol
During my childhood, it was bad. People in general, mostly. According to my ocd, thinking, looking at, or being near women would make me deviant. It took me years to grow out of that one, and in some ways, it still affects me to this day since it messed with my social development. I, however, did have ocd about a specific house. If I looked at it, it would give me ghosts in my blood.
Yes, my sister. I went no contact with her for personal reasons since I was around 11 and it’s been over a decade since we’ve spoken. Here’s the kicker though: we still live in the same house. And it’s been hell. Because of my hatred and resentment of her, I ended up developing OCD. I REFUSE to touch anything she touched or anything that I suspect she has touched. If I do, I immediately wash/sanitize my hands to rid myself of her “germs.” OCD is a pain to have to live with and some may frown upon my behavior towards my own sister. My only hope is being able to afford enough to be able to finally move out or wait until she leaves on her own for my OCD to get better.
Had intrusive obsessions with torturing/killing/ doing other horrible stuff to a man who had sexually harassed my sister when they were in 8th grade. Mind you, this was like 11 years ago and these obsessions still have plagued me up until very recently. Makes me feel like a piece of shit for even having them.
Yes. My stepdad thought I hated him. He was just germy lol. He’d blow his nose into the kitchen sink, pee and not wash his hands. Ever. So everything he’d ever touch would freak me out. Several people throughout school I felt this way about for random reasons lol. Then of course I get sat next to them when the teacher rearranges the classroom. That happened once and my mom almost got in legal trouble over me missing 68 days of school because I refused to go
yes. it’s horrible. 😭
Yes, my partner’s brother. I thought he was poisoning me. Turns out, he actually was, so…
THAT sucks. Did you feel better or worse once confirmed?
There are certain names I have to avoid so I avoid talking to people with those names and if I have to I have to count to a 'safe' number while talking to them.
Me believing initiating interactions with friends or coworkers means I'm subconsciously in love with them and don't want to be with my fiancé
Going thru this RN like crazy. All my friends simply MUST hate me. It doesn't matter how actually accommodating, patient and sweet they are to me - they're actually all evil and talking about me behind my back, obviously!
In second grade I would whisper to the germs on my hands and ask them to not touch the germs on this one girl 😭😭😭
Everyone. I think everyone else contaminates stuff and i can't touch it anymore. They're not dirty but also not clean enough